What I learned from my ex Scorp

This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by yourekillinmesmalls on Sunday, September 2, 2012 and has 41 replies.
Most people I know have that one person from their past that find themselves thinking of more often that seems logical, and/or that one person they always seem to take back. I'd bet money that one person is often a freaking Scorp (and I say that with no negativity intended)! You guys are unlike anything I have ever seen.
I stumbled on this forum while looking for insight on my ex Scorp (like many before me, apparently). Thank you to all of you Scorps who have shared your thoughts in all these threads BTW, it made the things he did make a lot more sense to me - while I don't think all of his behavior solely comes from his sign, he does appear to be a textbook Scorp guy. So I had to register to tell you what I learned from my Scorp - and let me tell you, even though it was one of the most difficult relationships I have even been in, I learned more from it than any other one I have ever had!
To all the non-Scorp women who don't get their Scorp guy, and want to grab him by the shoulders, start shaking and ask "WTF is wrong with you?!?!?!", here you go (this is based on my experience with this one particular Scorp, so of course, your mileage may vary):
1. While many of the Scorp's actions might seem irrational or backward to you, they make perfect sense in the Scorp's mind. That doesn't make him wrong. It just may make him WRONG FOR YOU. We all have our "quirks" and ways of handling things (I'm Pisces sun, Aries rising, Gem moon, and therefore completely screwy - I'm sure I confused him more than once myself).
2. Being with a Scorp will force you to decide what you are willing to tolerate and/or compromise on, and what is non-negotiable in your relationships (personally, I think this is a good thing). My ex was very much the detached, unemotional, poker face type the vast majority of the time. He did the push/pull, disappearing/reappearing act. I realized that I'm too sensitive to deal with that and I need someone who is more overtly affectionate. He's not that guy, and that's okay. YOU have to decide when you have reached your limit and be prepared to let go of him when you do. It sucks, but you are ultimately the one responsible for your own happiness in the relationship. If he ain't giving you what you need, don't blame him or his ways because you decide to stick around.
(((hopping off my soapbox and waving at the nice honest Scorps here)))
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*than seems logical
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Posted by yourekillinmesmalls

2. Being with a Scorp will force you to decide what you are willing to tolerate and/or compromise on, and what is non-negotiable in your relationships (personally, I think this is a good thing).


Lol, Pisces.
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Posted by IntriguedScorp
Surely you learned more than that?
But thanks for sharing. smile


Haha, definitely, those are just the general ones. There are other things that are probably more specific to me and things I needed to improve on, i.e:
3. Being with a Scorp definitely taught me to be in better control of my emotions (sue me, I'm a Pisces, remember?). Although I have been told that I'm not as outwardly emotional as a lot of other Pisces. The Scorp himself commented to me more than once that during emotionally charged conversations, I didn't tend to have the same reactions as other girls he dated.
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Posted by Wynter
Posted by yourekillinmesmalls

2. Being with a Scorp will force you to decide what you are willing to tolerate and/or compromise on, and what is non-negotiable in your relationships (personally, I think this is a good thing).


Lol, Pisces.
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Age/experience tends to take away some of those Pisces delusions. Constant work in progress, though. smile
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Posted by DazedScorp
Posted by IntriguedScorp
Posted by DazedScorp
Uh oh...


What?



Idk...
I just always wonder what would happen if one of my exes ever showed up on DXP.
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Not your ex. smile
If I were a stereotypical Pisces, I'd be too busy playing victim and crying about the many ways you wronged me to figure out what I learned from the relationship.
Yeah, done that. *sheepish*
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The Scorp himself commented to me more than once that during emotionally charged conversations, I didn't tend to have the same reactions as other girls he dated.


Gemini moon can be lacking in empathy. My brother has a Gem moon and sometimes the concerns of others fails to click with him, if at all.
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Posted by IntriguedScorp
What do you think he meant by that? Just curious.


There were a couple of times when I think he expected me to have a bigger, more emotional reaction (i.e. cry, get mad, etc.) to something he said, but the reaction he actually got was much more subtle. I try to listen and think logically before I react (most of the time, haha), so I was much calmer in those types of situations than I think he expected (or perhaps wanted?) me to be.
For example, way back when we had been casually dating for a few months, I initiated the "what are you looking for/where is this going?" talk. I told him I was looking for a relationship, he hesitantly said he wasn't and looked at me with an expression that said "here we go, now she's gonna hate me". I paused for a minute, said calmly and matter-of-factly that I understood, and that was fine for me for the time being, but that eventually I was going to want to go my own way, no hard feelings. He asked if I was mad at him, I shrugged and said he told me the truth, and I wouldn't be mad at him for being honest, and gave him a look like "what did you expect?" He said most women get mad at him. I said we weren't all the same, he said I was definitely different.
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Posted by Wynter
Gemini moon can be lacking in empathy. My brother has a Gem moon and sometimes the concerns of others fails to click with him, if at all.


Interesting. I'd say I'm the opposite, I think my Pisces tendencies really come out in that area. I definitely absorb people's feelings, and worry for them probably more they do themselves. So much so that I often neglect my own feelings, and don't realize I'm doing so until I've already allowed myself to be hurt. It's a vicious cycle, really.
My "calmer" reactions to the ex Scorp is a learned behavior. Over time (long before him), I figured out that immediate, overemotional reactions on my part didn't get me far, and I'd often regret them later.
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Posted by yourekillinmesmalls
Posted by IntriguedScorp
What do you think he meant by that? Just curious.


There were a couple of times when I think he expected me to have a bigger, more emotional reaction (i.e. cry, get mad, etc.) to something he said, but the reaction he actually got was much more subtle. I try to listen and think logically before I react (most of the time, haha), so I was much calmer in those types of situations than I think he expected (or perhaps wanted?) me to be.
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Ah I can completely relate!
Sometimes I wonder if I'm not aggressive enough to his liking (also a pisces like the OP)
Sometimes I wonder if he's waiting for me to blow. (he admits he says a lot of things purely to try and get a reaction out of me)
OP,
How long we're you with your scorp? Do you think you were too passive/understanding for him in the long run?
Now we all want the backstory eh? smile
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Also,
The first time I cried in front of him was because he said something incredibly rude to me.
He remarked "I didnt think you could cry"
How is it as Pisces we are said to be very emotional, but people see us as cold? Hrm.
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Posted by IntriguedScorp
Since I'm a probing Scorp, i'll ask. No worries of you don't want to answer--basically none of my business anyway--but why did you break up? In general terms if it makes you feel more comfortable?



No problem, I wouldn't bring it up if I weren't willing to talk about it. I'll try to give the short version, if you want more specifics, just ask.
Dated casually for about 4 months, then had the aforementioned "talk" where we established I was looking for a relationship and he wasn't.
Dated another 3 months, I realized I was getting a little too close to getting attached, and since we had had the previous conversation, I told him I was ready for us to go our separate ways, and told him exactly why. He seemed a bit surprised, but we talked about it, and he agreed - no hard feelings, we just weren't looking for the same thing. He still wanted to "hang out as friends", I told him it would probably be a while before that happened.
Six weeks later, he gets in touch with me, wants to go to the movies. I agree, and he is obviously affectionate (trying to hold my hand, etc.). I ask him what's going on, he says he has changed his mind and wants to have a relationship with me. I ask a bunch of questions, and eventually say okay after we establish the terms of the relationship.
Skipping a lot of details here, but it only lasted about 2 months. He did do a lot of what he said he would do, but it eventually ended because I confronted him about what seemed to be a lack of emotion toward me - I told him even though he was doing a lot of the right things, it seemed like there wasn't much (if any) feeling behind them. Wasn't expecting him to a "gushy" emotional type guy since that's not his thing, but you usually still get that feeling that someone cares, you know? A long conversation happens, he finally says he doesn't have an emotional connection with me. At all. Well, after that, there wasn't much left to talk about.
This was about 3 months ago. He has reappeared since then, but I've kept my distance.
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Posted by LouLore
OP,
How long we're you with your scorp? Do you think you were too passive/understanding for him in the long run?
Now we all want the backstory eh? smile



It was off and on for close to a year (short backstory is above). I do think I was too passive/understanding for him in the beginning, which would explain why he was surprised when I was willing to cut and run.
I do think there is a part of him that wants to get a bigger reaction out of me. In his mind, I think people who have emotional reactions = people that care (perhaps that's why your Scorp does things to to try and get a reaction out of you?). When my reaction is calmer than he expects, I think it unnerves him because it makes it harder for him to figure out what I'm thinking (which is so funny to me, because that's pretty much what he does).
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Posted by yourekillinmesmalls
Posted by LouLore
In his mind, I think people who have emotional reactions = people that care (perhaps that's why your Scorp does things to to try and get a reaction out of you?). When my reaction is calmer than he expects, I think it unnerves him because it makes it harder for him to figure out what I'm thinking (which is so funny to me, because that's pretty much what he does).


+1000 (in my Scorpio experiences)
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:/
Our stories have similar patterns. I wonder what he'd say if I asked if he felt he had an emotional connection with me. The answer you got sounds like it would have felt rough to hear.
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Posted by LouLore
:/
Our stories have similar patterns. I wonder what he'd say if I asked if he felt he had an emotional connection with me. The answer you got sounds like it would have felt rough to hear.


It shocked me more than anything. I could have handled him saying he didn't feel the same way about me as I did about him. It still would have hurt, but that's life - sometimes you just don't click with people. What was really painful was that he sought me out and offered up a relationship under false pretenses when he didn't have to. That was like a gigantic slap in the face. Honesty is a huge thing for me.
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Posted by exoskeleton
nice username. smile


Glad you got it. smile
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Posted by saywhaMnMsZipZapDoesAFlipFlopandZo00omsAway
LOL... +1 to that too... its as if each one's heart is a mexican soap opera *rolls eyes*



Oh, there were definitely times when it felt like Telemundo up in here. With less makeup.
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Posted by IntriguedScorp

A connection is a two-way street and we want to feel the connection flow back and forth. If it feels like its all going one way and we aren't feeling it coming back in our direction or it feels weak coming back--then I can see dramatic displays. But, know this: drama is not our first option. In fact, I don't know about every one else but drama would be my last resort.
We are emotional creatures. Just like you Pisces. And just like you, we adore feeling adored. That energizes us and keeps us on track in the relationship. If we feel adored then we can let our guard down and not OBSSESS 24/7 about whether or not THIS IS REAL.
As long as we feel you are trying, you will have our heart.
My brother's a Scorpio and I have watched him throughout the years with women. The woman who won his heart thinks he is the best man on earth and she isn't afraid to tell him. He eats that up!
In return, he treats her like an equal partner and is protective in a really sweet way. He's also a great listener. He wants to help her emotionally. This helps him feel good about himself.


Agreed on many points. I don't think my Scorp craved drama, but I think he probably would find an occasional display reassuring, especially in an instance where it would be the expected response.
It is totally understandable that "as long as we feel you are trying, you will have our heart." It does go both ways though - like you said, there needs to be a back and forth. I realized fairly early on that I was going to be the one who was going to have put more out there first. But if I don't feel like you're trying, eventually I'm gonna stop. And that may have been the issue, I didn't keep trying long enough for him to feel like I was for real. He may be one that just needs a lot of time. Then again, it may be exactly what he said, and he just doesn't have those feelings for me.
I could definitely see him being just like your brother. I don't think my Scorp is a bad person. Did he hurt me? Yes. But not once did I ever feel any malicious intent from him (still don't). I know he felt really bad about hurting me - as difficult as he was for me to interpret at times, that much was obvious. Written all over his face and I could practically feel it coming off him.
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Posted by DazedScorpI tend to surround my self with drama. Or I create it with others, just so I can watch it all unfold.



I noticed my ex liked juicy gossip, but doesn't want to be the subject of it.
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Question for those of you still reading this thread (especially the Scorps):
As I mentioned, he has reappeared since the breakup. Subtly at first ("liking" my status on Facebook here and there), then a Facebook message, then a text. When we split, I told him I would always be civil (we live in a small town with mutual friends, and I don't hate the guy, so I am comfortable with that) but to not expect us to be close enough friends that we would hang out. So I do reply to him, but keep it short, polite and to the point (answer the question he asks but no more than that). I never initiate conversation with him, he is always the one who contacts me. He asked me to go to lunch with him a couple of weeks ago, which I declined.
My question is: what would make you want to have lunch with someone you have told you have no emotional connection with? Just to see if she'd go/for an ego boost? Hoping for FWB? Trying to be friends? Just curious, because that's not something I would do - don't see the point in spending time with someone I don't feel I care for.
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Maybe he said it to test the reaction? :/ The "not feeling a connection" bit.
This thread is making me feel confused. I need to make my break up make up thread one of these days..
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Perhaps he's there for the FWB? I often wonder that about my own situation.
I have a book called Darkside Zodiac. This part feels cryptic:
"you are well aware of the difference between love and sex (which is why you make really hot se workers and bonk buddies,) but you don't care if others aren't. The world is littered with Scorpio discards (usually pisceans) who believed that a 12 hour list fest meant it was time to start choosing drapes.
Sad
Lol. Ugh.
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Damn my typing too fast
sex*
lust*
And one of these " at the end of the quote
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Posted by IntriguedScorp
Smalls, did your ex say he doesn't have an emotional connection with you or he doesn't *feel* an emotional connection with you. Two different things.



To be honest, I can't remember for sure. Both words ("have" and "feel") may have been used at some point. I did notice throughout our relationship that he was very careful with his choice of words, so that's interesting that you said that. He's not a the lying type - if you ask him a question, he will carefully tell you just enough to answer the question, but no more detail than he wants you to know. But he will avoid an outright lie if he can, I get the feeling he doesn't like to lie, but he will if he feels there's no other option.
Since I left out a lot of details, maybe a little more info will help you get some insight on his mindset. Though I initiated the confrontation on the day we split, he was the one who initiated the breakup itself. If I remember correctly, the wording he used was, "okay, I don't want to do this anymore." When he said the thing about not having an emotional connection with me, he did elaborate a bit and said something along the lines of not being an emotional guy and not having "that switch." When I asked what he meant by "switch" he said he knows a lot of people who say they "love" people they're dating all the time, and he just doesn't do that. That no matter how much he likes the person, he can't flip the switch.
He also mentioned during the course of the breakup conversation that he had the urge to cheat and wasn't sure why - whether it was the flirting, or the thrill of the chase or something else (he volunteered this, I didn't ask him about anyone else). He was adamant he did NOT cheat on me, and seemed concerned that I might not believe him, but he said the urge was there.
Fast forward to the lunch invite a couple of weeks ago - there is more that happened after that that I will elaborate on, but I wanted to see what your thoughts were on the situation up to that point first to see if I was getting the same vibe you were (the rest might skew your viewpoint).
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Posted by IntriguedScorp
The scorp men aren't coming here because they dont want to give away any of their secrets. Secretive basterds! lol Tongue
I'm digging deep here...haha


Haha, not surprising, really! smile
When he brought up the cheating thing, I was trying to get him to talk to me (I have always felt this inexplicable urge to try to understand him, so wasn't giving up on him quite so easily). I got the feeling that he understood that I was trying to keep him around, but he was trying to convince me to get rid of him. I tried to explain that to my best friend (a Virgo), and she thought I was nuts, but I'm guessing that a Scorp would know what I mean by that! He made a comment to me once about something in his past (months before the breakup, during one of our rare deep conversations) that obviously very carefully phrased and not telling me more than necessary. I don't even remember what it was about now, but I remember saying to him, "Why do I get the feeling you're afraid to tell me too much? It's like you're waiting for me to figure out that you're not as great as I think you are?" He gave me a look that said "Well, obviously." I told him I didn't judge him based on things he did in the past, that I only judged him on how he treated me, and I was happy with that.
Back to the day he asked me to lunch. We both have full time jobs and part time jobs. We don't cross paths with our full time jobs, but our part time jobs are in the same building. The day he asked me to lunch was a day he knew we were both working our part time jobs (forgot to mention, the week prior, he had casually mentioned in a text to "come by for a visit", which I declined). A couple of hours after I declined the lunch invite, he SHOWS UP at my workplace, bringing me some chocolate chip cookies and wants to chit chat for a bit. I wouldn't think that was odd for most people in my life, but I was thinking "WTF???" because:
1. He has never set foot in my workplace. Not before we dated, and not once during the year that we were. Remember, our part time jobs are in the SAME building.
2. He was not a gift giver during the time we were together - the cookie thing was completely off the wall.
3. Up until this point, I had not laid eyes on him since we split up 3 months earlier. We had exchanged maybe 3 Facebook messages, and 10 texts in that time frame, so it's not as if we were commun
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communicating on a regular basis and had re-established a friendship.
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Posted by IntriguedScorp
Well, well, well. I would love to know his Venus.


I think his Venus is Sag.
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Posted by Let*It*Be
I'm friends with my exes..if one of them asked me out to lunch or meet them out..I would. It's what you said, being civil. Obviously if things ended and my heart was in shreds, then no. That's not the case with you two, so why not?


Maybe that's the difference - to me, being civil and being friends is not the same thing. A friend to me implies there is some sort of bond there (obviously not in the same way as a romantically emotional connection, but an emotional one nonetheless). I don't spend my free time with people I am just civil to - nothing against them, but if I don't have any desire to get to know you better, or worse, I get the feeling to have no desire to get to know me, I'm just not gonna go there.
Do I think the Scorp and I could eventually be friends? Maybe. But for me, not yet. My heart was shredded and is still tattered at the edges now, mostly due to the loss of trust. Just because I think I understand why he did what he did and I forgive him for misleading me, doesn't mean I'm willing to say "okay, let's just start over as friends" without any hesitation. After our "relationship" I question the motives behind everything he says.
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*you have no desire
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Posted by IntriguedScorp
But I would say (i'm not a man so I could be wrong here) but him telling you about his cheating thoughts was a huge sign that he trusts and respects you.
This is opening up the vulnerable. Again, he wanted to see your reaction. Did you get jealous, act possessive, look like he was going to break your heart?
Also, that would have been a great time to rip his clothes off and show him what real lust looks like--make him pay for his sins *wink wink*--but I digress...haha.
Winking


If a man told me he was having cheating thoughts about another woman..... I would smile, wish him luck with that and figuring himself out... and depart.
I don't think ripping off his clothes after he tells you something like that sends a positive message. More like you are competitive and don't have the best self esteem.
A man telling you he was sexy thoughts about his co-worker, friend etc is one thing... but telling you he feels the urge to cheat on you, is NOT being vulnerable... and if he sits back and thinks it's your job to change his mind
forget it...
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Posted by shellshocker

If a man told me he was having cheating thoughts about another woman..... I would smile, wish him luck with that and figuring himself out... and depart.


That's pretty much what happened. I didn't ask a bunch of questions about it, I figure if you've got an urge that strong to be with someone else, you don't want to be with me, or you want to have both of us. Neither of those scenarios is acceptable in my book.
This is why I find the the whole "let's-go-to-lunch-and-when-you-say-no-I'm-gonna-show-up-at-your-job" thing so weird. Even if you assume he's just a big player who had no feelings for me at all, it seems like a whole lot of effort for him to do all that if all he wants is to pay my kitty a visit. The sex wasn't bad, but it wasn't mind blowing either.
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Posted by yourekillinmesmalls
Posted by shellshocker




This is why I find the the whole "let's-go-to-lunch-and-when-you-say-no-I'm-gonna-show-up-at-your-job" thing so weird.
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I find water sign men (more so than the women) like to be remembered, think they have left a lingering impression, and basically want to check up to see if you've found someone else.
ESPECIALLY... if the female ended the relationship. could be that...
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Posted by shellshocker

I find water sign men (more so than the women) like to be remembered, think they have left a lingering impression, and basically want to check up to see if you've found someone else.


Agreed. I think it feels good to people in general (man or woman of any sign) to think that your ex still cares about you and/or wants you back, even if you don't feel the same. I think water sign men tend to want to verify it more often than other signs.
That could definitely be the reason why he keeps reappearing. I think at most, he wants to be friends. I don't think he wants me back as a girlfriend, but I don't think he would mind feeling like I still wanted him back as a boyfriend either.
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Posted by IntriguedScorp
Posted by shellshocker




Shellshocker--have you ever told a man that you felt an urge to cheat? If not, then how do you know how it feels? What would drive you to the point of saying that to someone you came back to and told them you wanted a relationship with? Its too easy taking the easy way of thinking out--OMG a man and he wants to cheat!!??

Maybe he is coming back to show her that's he's okay and found someone else. BUT a person doesn't feel the need to GO OUT OF THEIR WAY to do that if there were no feelings involved in the first place. Just saying. Jumping to conclusions all over the place.

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1) People will always have sexual thoughts about others. perfectly normal.. Wanted to CHEAT on your partner usually means there is something lacking in the relationship or yourself. He told her that a 'emotional connection' was lacking. He was honest... good for him. If he was lying then he is playing games and manipulating
I think you are trying to complicate the situation. There is tons of grey in relationships.. but a desire to cheat is pretty black and white.
2) I think he is coming back to see if SHE is okay and found someone else.. not the other way around. I'm sure there are honest feelings involved.. just not honest intentions on his part.
3) I'm not jumping to conclusions, I'm offering my opinion. I'm also not fuelled by emotions... I'm being very logical. And you are getting personal. watch that stinger..
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Posted by IntriguedScorp
When I was breaking up with my Taurus, I knew i wanted out and started opening up my options and such. There was never one point in that time that I felt the need to tell him what I was doing. If by some chance I would have stepped up to the plate to tell him that I'm looking elsewhere it would have been for one reason only--to try to salvage what we had.
I didn't want to salvage it--every know bond of trust was gone by then and there was no repairing it. My job was getting out with the least amount of damage at that point. Just saying.




Interesting - that would be a pretty big last ditch effort. I didn't get that impression from him, like I said, it was more like he had the feeling I was trying to keep him around and he was giving me one more reason to push him away. A big enough reason that I wouldn't keep trying unless I had zero self respect.
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Here's the last bit of the saga, aka "where the Pisces loses her calm exterior and the emotional reaction takes over":
When he came by my workplace, I was so caught off guard, all I could think to do was treat him the same way I had been responding to his texts: polite but detached. I work in fairly close quarters with other people, so I didn't feel like I could outright ask him why he was there or start any type of serious conversation without embarrassing one or both of us. So it was basically 10 mins or so of small talk. He left, didn't hear from him after that. One of the clients in my workplace commented that "That guy looked REALLY happy to see you, is that your boyfriend? He couldn't stop smiling when he was talking to you."
The next week, my coworker tells me the Scorp came in to our workplace for an appointment with him. I had walked by not knowing the Scorp was there - the Scorp saw me and commented to my coworker that he didn't know I worked that day. The Scorp left at the end of his appointment without a word to me (the coworker told me all of this about an hour after the Scorp left). At that point I was so confused and frustrated by his disappearing/reappearing behavior, I sent him a text saying that first he wants to take me to lunch after we've barely spoken, then he's showing up to visit me, and a week later he's in my workplace and completely ignoring me? I said I didn't know what his deal was, but if there was something he wanted, cut the chicken butter and spit it out (I know, not exactly elegant on my part).
He said to settle down, he didn't know I was working that day until he was almost done and had to get back to work. Then he said "Next time I come visit, bringing gifts and being nice, try smiling a little. I don't want anything."
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I replied that even though I didn't have hard feelings toward him and was fine with keeping things cordial, that didn't mean I was suddenly going to smile as if history had erased itself simply because he showed up out of nowhere with a gift. I also said that I would have respected him more had he come to me and said "hey, I'm sorry I was a jerk to you, but I would really like for us to be friends, can I take you lunch?" instead of just assuming that he could reappear, do something completely out of character, and expect me not to question his motives. I said if he wanted to scold me for not giving him the reaction he wanted because he suddenly decided he wanted to play nice, to go right ahead, and if there was nothing he wanted, then it shouldn't matter.
He replied, "I'm sorry I hurt you. I am trying to play nice."
I said I didn't understand why he would want to go to lunch with someone he admitted he didn't really give a butter about instead of leaving well enough alone. He didn't reply and I haven't heard from him since.
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So based on what I've told you - what do you think of the possibility of us being able to be friends?
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Thanks for the input so far. He reappeared today.
He commented on a picture I posted on Facebook. I sent him a text, asked him again what his deal was, he said he was playing nice because he still considered me a friend. I told him what I posted here, that being civil and being friends is not the same thing to me, and if he wanted us to be friends, a visit and a cookie weren't gonna cut it. I forgave him for the past, and I would be civil, but if he couldn't or didn't want to make the effort to earn my trust again, I would rather he left me alone instead of popping in and out of my life like there's a revolving door on it.
He asked what it would take to gain my trust again, I said consistency. Honesty. Dependability. I said it would probably not be easy because he had a lot to undo - the last time I let him into my life, I got a gigantic slap in the face, and he couldn't blame me for having hesitations, even just as a friend. I told him while he might not have emotional bonds with his friends, I care about the people I spend time with, and don't see the point of having superficial relationships of any kind. I also said, "And no, that does not mean I want to do you" (he knows snark is normal coming from me).
He replied, "Good thing...I'm a terrible lay. I think I can do all of those things as a friend."
I said, "Glad we agree on something, and I guess we'll see."

So there you have it. We'll see if he can put up or shut up, and if I can trust him again. At least there seems to be a little bit more clarity on what he keeps coming around for (assuming he's being honest about his intentions).
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Posted by IntriguedScorp
You keep calling him your ex--I take it you haven't from him, eh?
You didn't think we'd just let you get away without letting us in on the details, did you? Big Grin


Haha, I don't mind sharing, it's just nothing earth shattering. After our last contact (described in my last post), he sent me a "small talkish" text a couple of days later, so we exchanged a couple of friendly banter texts. Haven't heard anything since then (it would be a week ago tomorrow to give you an idea of the timeline). I didn't really have any expectations of what was going to happen with all of this, so I'm pretty much just watching things as they unfold. For all I know, they may stay balled up!
I keep calling him my ex because I think it's extremely unlikely that we'd get back together. Even if I thought he wanted that (and I don't), my feelings for him have changed quite a bit, and once my trust has been broken, it's very hard for me to go back. Honestly, I doubt we'll really be friends (meaning hanging out together or having conversations that extend beyond small talk topics), but more like acquaintances who are friendly when we happen to run into each other, but aren't really very close. Basically just civil.
details

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