Where do you feel Mr. Scop is?

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LeotoScorp
@LeotoScorp
19 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 9 · Topics: 1
Any and all thoughts are welcomed and appreciated ...

To sum up history -- Leo female here met Mr. Scorpio 13 months ago. At different single stages respectively - my having been divorced from a 12 yr marriage for 6 years, and his in the midst of the ending of 16 yr marriage(he did not want the divorce on any level - papers were signed, but not entere dby the judge due to a couple of outstanding issues) ... although he was very bitter and angry, he initially talked of having already been through the rebound girl. We had great chemistry, and I became his confident. Upon inquiry, he revealed a few weeks later that he was having this player phase. Tried to see him a couple of times, but did not want to be a part of his rotation BS. During that time, his divorce was finalized with his calling me right after the hearing to share the positive result, thank me for the prayers/support -- pretty much conversation continuing every week since through e-mail means (M-F from respective work e-mails), being supportive and encouraging as he was battling great with anger, depression, financial devastation from the divorce. We have much respect for one another. Last week finally asked him how he was feeling about where he was, and if he felt like sharing about whether he had any kind of relationship deal going. His heartbreaking response:

?I'm doing ok. I've been seeing a girl for a while. She is more of a friend, but is pretty cool and doesn't give me any grief. Thanks for asking. How about you??

"My honest response to his inquiry: No ... me ... honestly, how to articulate - fell for this 6'3 GA boy on date 1 - odd, at some point during dinner, among laughter and what just seemed that at home comfortable feeling, had this sense that I would want to remember that night, funny, actually took the cork from our bottle of wine, and ever since felt hopeful, certain at heart he was the same and that we would eventually give it a try - btw, don't hold him accountable for my feelings (actually surprised/pleased that I am capable of something that deep/strong), but maybe I needed to hear that he was involved with a pretty cool girl and let go."

Still feel with every fiber of my being that we are meant to be ... is that crazy?
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LeotoScorp
@LeotoScorp
19 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 9 · Topics: 1
Wow Topaz, thanks for the insight. Never thought that he was referring to me ... haven't seen him in 6 months with the exception of the one run in 3 months ago .. we do pass each other all the time (living in the same community; kids go to the same school; his work building is next to mine) -- need to give you a bit more of why I think there is someone real and that it's not me ... when he was doing that player phase I told him that since he was going to flit around to go ahead and do that until he was through and that meanwhile I would continue to be his confidant with everything and just be his friend - maybe later we could give it another try. I was doing fairly well with the just e-mail friend thing until I saw him again. Kills me that he's seeing someone, but then again that shouldn't be a surprise to me. Later I looked back at his words and thought he was saying that he doesn't have feelings for that other girl and the she does't give him grief was that she was more than happy to just being a sexual partner. But is that just me hopeful that he'll drop her and run to my door now since I revealed that at heart he has always been much more than a friend to me. 8 days since I sent that and no word of any kind from him. 😢
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Sun_in_Leo
@Sun_in_Leo
19 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 101 · Topics: 7
LeotoScorp

Girl, this is not a scorpio thing. Its a man/woman thing. There is no quick fix answer. It's about the way you treat men in relationships. There are different approaches to relationships, From your post, and I'm guessing here, your using the "He-owes-me-the-perfect-relationship" relationship approach. Which would make things difficult indeed. My recommendation would be more: "Easy to be with, hard to get" go on with your life, be happy and busy, date other men. IMO, men are like rubber bands, they always snap back at some point, however you cant wait for this, or rely on it.

It would be better for you to learn how to think about your relationships with men, his comment about a girl who "is pretty cool and doesn't give me any grief" is very telling. Do you know what a man means when he says a girl is "pretty cool"? This is man speak for a girl that lives in the moment when they are with men. They are not living in their head about the way a man should be acting or thinking or treating them, or about what they want from a man in the future (ie, a family, marriage, etc). When you do this, you are not responding to a man where he's at. Your responses are all geared to what you think they should be doing, or thinking, or how they should be treating you. The fact that he said this to you would indicate to me that that's what he wants, and since he is with her "The Cool Girl" and not you, maybe you need to challenge yourself, and learn what it is that a "Cool Girl" has that you don't have. Think of being in a movie theatre, when you are so in the moment that you want to shout out to the caracters in the screne, "Watch out behind you!" Now THAT"S living in the moment. You are so caught up with whats going on that you respond in very natural ways to your enviornment, and the person who your with. You need practice at this. Start today. Right now. WIth everyone your with. Live in the moment, listen, and respond with care to the things that people are telling you. Stop thinking about the future or past and get more into the NOW. When you get good at this, your relationships will improve.

Any guys that want to add to this, us girls out. Would be appreciated. What is your version of a "Cool Girl"?

Should we make a separate post to find out what men define as a "cool girl"? Would be interesting....

Hope this helps.

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LeotoScorp
@LeotoScorp
19 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 9 · Topics: 1
Sun in Leo ... you have words of wisdom. Funny though, the last relationship that I had before meeting Mr. Scorp, one of his (Gemini doctor) complaints was my only living in the moment. You may have something with your rubberband theory - I've had 3 other relationships in the last 7 years, and after letting each one go, to this day they still ring the phone or e-mail every couple of weeks seeking another chance. Part of the reason I had chosen not to allow myself to move on for so long with Mr. Scorp is because once I say I am done, there is no going back. All of which is moot now ... Mr. Scorp has shown that my hope of his taking a leap of faith was not for naught -- some of his words: he couldn't see the forest for the trees ... he has always valued and respected me ... is consumed with a second chance ... "loving you is easy - just like breathing." We have a VERY HAPPY blue-eyed, blonde LEO this morning 🙂 Thanks again.