Posted by Impulsv
Do you even know what topics strike her passion
Posted by SophiaEva
@seacrab1.... "what you want, how are you feeling, tell me you're not depressed." After re-reading this, seems like communication breakdown. Question is, when did this happen and why?
Posted by seacrab1Posted by Impulsv
Do you even know what topics strike her passion
Probably not because from the beginning there has never been a subjec that she is passionate about. Its like she just goes with whatever happens. If I don't tell or ask het I want to do something then we won't.click to expand
Posted by FrostAndBite
Have y'all been having marital difficulties for a while? Maybe a long standing issue or two?
The only thing the drives me to zone out and avoid connecting with my partner is when I feel there is an insurmountable issue. Something that we have tried to talk over for a long long time yet reached no resolution or even gained ground. Sometimes you just get tired of trying to address something.
I also have a cancer moon though and a gem Mars, so I'm way chattier than the average scorbeario. A Scorpio with a less chatty chart might find it difficult to connect, say a Virgo moon or Aqua Mars, until they first evaluate everything themselves. A lot of scorps tend to prefer finding resolution in themselves before airing it to others.
Posted by SophiaEvaPosted by seacrab1Posted by Impulsv
Do you even know what topics strike her passion
Probably not because from the beginning there has never been a subjec that she is passionate about. Its like she just goes with whatever happens. If I don't tell or ask het I want to do something then we won't.
Begginning of your marriage?click to expand
Posted by MsTeeq1974
It's difficult to know one's passion if/when they kind of mention it in passing, but never really talk about it in depth enough to know that they get excited about/are passionate about those things. For instance, my boyfriend pretty much gets excited about chicken. I mean, that's cool and all, but other than suggesting that we go out to eat at one of his favorite places that serves chicken, what else does one do with that?
I get what the OP is saying, because no Scorp that I've dated expressed passion about certain topics, etc in a way where you just...get it. I mean, they know how to say, "Thank you for your support regarding this that or the other." But they never really TOLD me what fueled them other than spiritual matters...which I discuss quite often. Then there's this thing where they tell you that they like something, you do something about it, but they don't initiate follow through. I've watched the limited excitement my guy showed in regards to certain cars, so I went online and bought us tickets to the car museum last weekend. He hasn't mentioned us going yet. It takes two. I bought comedy tickets and put them in HIS name so that he would know that I'm not trying to control/dominate his time or activities by being the one who purchased...basically shit for us to do.
I love Scorps, but you guys aren't easy to handle or walk side by side with...not at all.
Posted by Impulsv
Ugh frankly it's not A good sign. Seems she never really connected from the start. Like you said just went through the motions of getting married. How old are you guys
Posted by SophiaEva
@seacrab1, something happened at the Begginning of your marriage to cause this. Do you know what it is?
Posted by Impulsv
OK if you feel she loves you. She might just be bored with life in general. If it's routine come home watch TV go to sleep wake up go to work.
Ask her what kind of life she envisioned whether thmarried or not? If there was nothing holding her back what is that life like.
Posted by FrostAndBitePosted by seacrab1Posted by FrostAndBite
Have y'all been having marital difficulties for a while? Maybe a long standing issue or two?
The only thing the drives me to zone out and avoid connecting with my partner is when I feel there is an insurmountable issue. Something that we have tried to talk over for a long long time yet reached no resolution or even gained ground. Sometimes you just get tired of trying to address something.
I also have a cancer moon though and a gem Mars, so I'm way chattier than the average scorbeario. A Scorpio with a less chatty chart might find it difficult to connect, say a Virgo moon or Aqua Mars, until they first evaluate everything themselves. A lot of scorps tend to prefer finding resolution in themselves before airing it to others.
I guess but it all stems from the same reasons I am complaining about. I have even told her she is cold blooded and she says she doesn't like it when I say that vut its like there are no feelings there sometimes. The weird thing is that I know she loves me.
That's an absolutely terrible thing to tell someone, just so you know.
I mean I understand the compulsion. It's a water sign trait. If you feel like you're getting nothing on the emotional register, you'll take any reaction, even negative one, because you feel like if they're upset at least it means they care. And maybe that's true. But how beneficial is it to verbally or emotionally wound your partner in order to get what you need from them? Continuing down that way is a recipe for letting communication fall into even worse patterns. It's a counterproductive move.
Just because someone can't vocalize their feelings very well or not at all does not mean they aren't there. Obviously you must realize this on some level snce you say you know she loves you.click to expand
Posted by inmercury
Everyone's passionate about something. If it seems to you that there is no subject she's passionate about, it's only because she's hiding it from you. Usually it's because the person doesn't trust you enough to open up about it. Maybe you're being too dominant so she doesn't care to share her true self with you.
Posted by Infinite8Posted by seacrab1
meaningful conversations. Its like she is holding something back, and sometimes rather watch a show on tv than talk to me. I know she likes to talk because wants she will talk to me but usually about something that happened at work. I am finw with that but I also want to know what you think about me, what you want, how you are feeling and I don't mean if you're tiered I want to tell me if you're not depressed or something.
Hey Seacrab,
I am a female Scorp married to a male Crab and in a way ha. The opposite problem. What is your and your wife's venus & merc?
I have a libra venus and am very chatty love to talk about everything. But my husband has a venus in cancer so at first he would just listen and agree. He also had a Leo merc so now that he talks he likes to talk about projects, future goals and plans, fun things and get together but has/ HAD a harder time talking about deeper stuff. My merc is in Scorp ... I dig, lol!
Anyway... It took me a few years to get him to open up and it all started with ME opening up first.
Have you tried opening up to your wife first? Give her everything you would actually like to receive from her. Let her see your depth and your capability of handling it.
Sometimes Scorps close up and completely shut the door when they see no hope. Do you think that perhaps she tried in the beginning and something happened for her to guy down? Her behavior sounds like she is depressed and closing the door on YOU.
My husband is not a TV person. It wasn't like that with us. It was just that he didn't KNOW what he was feeling! It was like he had to learn how to recognize negative emotions and learn about where they came from / the root of it all. It was a challenge but nice to finally see it's fruition! Don't give upclick to expand
Posted by Infinite8Posted by seacrab1Posted by SophiaEva
@seacrab1.... "what you want, how are you feeling, tell me you're not depressed." After re-reading this, seems like communication breakdown. Question is, when did this happen and why?
I guess it is. Its pretty much been like that since the beginning. I even would try to get her mad sometimes because i felt she just didn't care or didn't want to express any feelings.
Oh wow... She has ALWAYS been this way? Maybe she had some trauma of some kind and fears expressing herself. She sounds COMPLETELY disconnected. That is not good for her. She might be depressed. Have you two tried counseling?
It's not normal for a Scorp to be THAT quiet. We LOVE to connect with our loved ones and we have such an intense inner being that we need to verbally and/or physically release DAILY!!! Her not expressing anything - she is numb! Scorps are not numb unless depressed.click to expand
Posted by AgentP911
Cancerian male = emotionally manipulative.
You telling her she's cold blooded is because you wanted to provoke a reaction from her as its what you thrive on but all it does is make her distance herself away from you even more.
One of your first posts on this thread said you wanted her to talk to you, for her to tell you what she's thinking and feeling and how she feels about you. Something like that anyway.
God, that's so draining. It sounds all about you though. Typical.
That's just my take on it and derived from my experiences with Cancerian males. It might not be right.
Posted by LunarMaiden
Are you one of those talkin' guys who likes to blather on about feelings all day?
Posted by Impulsv
Seacrab I think u have to spice it up . Not sexually but in life. Take her dancing, take her to an adventure, hike a waterfall.
It doesn't mean she doesn't love u but she seems lost in life. It might feel like " is that all there is. "
She might night know how to take initiative of her own life n is waiting for u to lead.
It should not be ur burden but she hasn't learned that for her self.
Posted by Impulsv
If ur married thinking ur partner is out to get u
U are part of the problem.
marriage u should know ur team players n if ur partner hurt u
U believe that first intention was not to hurt u purposly . U give them the benefit of the doubt. Because most likely than not we hurt our love one unintentionally because no one is perfect. I'm sure u have hurt her n I'm not sure if her first jump to conclusion is that ur an evil manipulator crab.
Sorry I'm pissed but common sense is drastically failing on people.
Posted by seacrab1Posted by Impulsv
If ur married thinking ur partner is out to get u
U are part of the problem.
marriage u should know ur team players n if ur partner hurt u
U believe that first intention was not to hurt u purposly . U give them the benefit of the doubt. Because most likely than not we hurt our love one unintentionally because no one is perfect. I'm sure u have hurt her n I'm not sure if her first jump to conclusion is that ur an evil manipulator crab.
Sorry I'm pissed but common sense is drastically failing on people.click to expand
Posted by seacrab1
meaningful conversations. Its like she is holding something back, and sometimes rather watch a show on tv than talk to me. I know she likes to talk because wants she will talk to me but usually about something that happened at work. I am finw with that but I also want to know what you think about me, what you want, how you are feeling and I don't mean if you're tiered I want to tell me if you're not depressed or something.
Posted by thinktoomuch
How long have you been married for?? What is she like with other people?
When I dated a cancer man (I am a scorpio-sag cusp woman), I didn´t open up as much, because I felt like, he didn´t really want to hear it. Even though he said, that he wanted me to be more open with him and he wanted to get to know me, I felt like, when I said something, he thought it was stupid or didn´t really care.....
Maybe our mindsets were just too far off from each other to feel understanding and care about the same things?!
Ofcours this cancer also just dated me for 9 months and never made us official, so that also made me feel like, he didn´t want an emotional connection and really get to know me...
Posted by jellybabyPosted by seacrab1
meaningful conversations. Its like she is holding something back, and sometimes rather watch a show on tv than talk to me. I know she likes to talk because wants she will talk to me but usually about something that happened at work. I am finw with that but I also want to know what you think about me, what you want, how you are feeling and I don't mean if you're tiered I want to tell me if you're not depressed or something.
I feel kinda the same with my scorpio boyfriend. I'm an aqua. However, when we are together he is very affectionate and have so many jokes. It's fun...we laugh, play fight and are intimate but we haven't really had a serious conversation in a while..especially about us. I want to feel more of a deep connection like how it used to be. Maybe in his eyes he does feel it and I could be over analysing. The only way I'm gonna find out is if I ask!click to expand
Posted by FrostAndBite
Have y'all been having marital difficulties for a while? Maybe a long standing issue or two?
The only thing the drives me to zone out and avoid connecting with my partner is when I feel there is an insurmountable issue. Something that we have tried to talk over for a long long time yet reached no resolution or even gained ground. Sometimes you just get tired of trying to address something.
I also have a cancer moon though and a gem Mars, so I'm way chattier than the average scorbeario. A Scorpio with a less chatty chart might find it difficult to connect, say a Virgo moon or Aqua Mars, until they first evaluate everything themselves. A lot of scorps tend to prefer finding resolution in themselves before airing it to others.
Posted by FrostAndBitePosted by seacrab1
In my defense i read somewhere that scorpio women like to have you hanging on a string until you get fed up and are about cut it then they will give you what you want so I might be wrong feeling this way and it also seems like I am not the only one on this forum with a similar problem.
I should hope that after knowing her seven years and being married for four you put more stock in hIer than in what you read on the Internet.
Honestly, the way you present it, you marriage sounds mutually disconnected. I'd bet money if she were here she's probably say there is something you don't know how to communicate to her about.
Counseling might be more productive than looking to astrology for theories why she can't meet your needs.click to expand
Posted by FrostAndBitePosted by seacrab1
In my defense i read somewhere that scorpio women like to have you hanging on a string until you get fed up and are about cut it then they will give you what you want so I might be wrong feeling this way and it also seems like I am not the only one on this forum with a similar problem.
I should hope that after knowing her seven years and being married for four you put more stock in her than in what you read on the Internet.
Honestly, the way you present it, you marriage sounds mutually disconnected. I'd bet money if she were here she's probably say there is something you don't know how to communicate to her about.
Counseling might be more productive than looking to astrology for theories why she can't meet your needs.click to expand
Posted by FrostAndBite
Hun I'm not offended. It's not my marriage lol. I'm probably one of the nicer and more sincere Scorpio women on the board when it comes to advice. Take a poll or stay a little while and you'll find that to be fairly true.
I was just pointing out that you are withdrawing as well. It takes two to fall into disarray. Especially with two water sun signs. God forbid either or both of yall also have water moons, y'all might be functioning in a house of mirrors lol. It's so easy for two water signs to disconnect because both parties focus on protecting themselves rather than the bond if there's a whiff of emotional disconnect.
Posted by thinktoomuchPosted by seacrab1Posted by thinktoomuch
How long have you been married for?? What is she like with other people?
When I dated a cancer man (I am a scorpio-sag cusp woman), I didn´t open up as much, because I felt like, he didn´t really want to hear it. Even though he said, that he wanted me to be more open with him and he wanted to get to know me, I felt like, when I said something, he thought it was stupid or didn´t really care.....
Maybe our mindsets were just too far off from each other to feel understanding and care about the same things?!
Ofcours this cancer also just dated me for 9 months and never made us official, so that also made me feel like, he didn´t want an emotional connection and really get to know me...
know her for 7 married for 4. You might be right. Thanks.
But how is she with other people?
Seems like she can´t really be herself around you, if she is very different around you and don´t talk.....
can´t you talk to her about this? In a more non passive-aggressive way than telling her she is coldhearted? That´s kinda like telling someone "you´re angry", even if they are not, they most certainly will be from hearing that statement.click to expand