Posted by starlover
Men never change...if i could count on my hands the amount of them that that say they will get help, therapy etc and then dont, i would be pretty wealthy by now
they dont know how to...sadly
Posted by Let*It*Be
If he does the famous transformation we are known for, the answer is YES. We do not just throw a relationship into the trash, ESPECIALLY a marriage. All efforts will be made to compromise and save the relationship. (mature scorps that is). Let me ask you...what is it that has to "change"?? That may have a lot to do with weather or not he will do what he has to.
Posted by bella70777Posted by Let*It*Be
If he does the famous transformation we are known for, the answer is YES. We do not just throw a relationship into the trash, ESPECIALLY a marriage. All efforts will be made to compromise and save the relationship. (mature scorps that is). Let me ask you...what is it that has to "change"?? That may have a lot to do with weather or not he will do what he has to.
He has a drinking problem. He's never hit me... but he does get scary... hitting walls and stuff. And I just couldn't take it anymore. He came to see me on Saturday... and he said he loves me so much. But the smell of alcohol was all over him. I just don't know what to do anymore. I love him so much... but he's not going to change is he?? I told him I'm going to file for divorce and he begged me not to. But he's disappeared again... apparently cuz I said something wrong to his cousin. I told his cousin.. "I'm so sick of him... I'm going to find me a good white man because they know how to treat women." My husband's Khmer. He's always been insecure about me rather being with a white man... since I'm half white/half chinese. So after I said that... he didn't come home like he promised to. It's his birthday today. And I miss him. I truly do believe he's my soulmate. But now, it's like... I feel our love was a lie. I'm so sad. Do you think he'll come back to me again?click to expand
Posted by MrFirebirdPosted by bella70777Posted by Let*It*Be
If he does the famous transformation we are known for, the answer is YES. We do not just throw a relationship into the trash, ESPECIALLY a marriage. All efforts will be made to compromise and save the relationship. (mature scorps that is). Let me ask you...what is it that has to "change"?? That may have a lot to do with weather or not he will do what he has to.
He has a drinking problem. He's never hit me... but he does get scary... hitting walls and stuff. And I just couldn't take it anymore. He came to see me on Saturday... and he said he loves me so much. But the smell of alcohol was all over him. I just don't know what to do anymore. I love him so much... but he's not going to change is he?? I told him I'm going to file for divorce and he begged me not to. But he's disappeared again... apparently cuz I said something wrong to his cousin. I told his cousin.. "I'm so sick of him... I'm going to find me a good white man because they know how to treat women." My husband's Khmer. He's always been insecure about me rather being with a white man... since I'm half white/half chinese. So after I said that... he didn't come home like he promised to. It's his birthday today. And I miss him. I truly do believe he's my soulmate. But now, it's like... I feel our love was a lie. I'm so sad. Do you think he'll come back to me again?
Umm..... the color of a man's skin is NOT indicative of whether "he knows how to treat a woman". Every race has their abusers. In your case you have a combination alcoholic who cannot control his anger. Two issues are at the bottom of this:
Anger and alcohol that dumbs down the brain's ability to rationalise and make good judgements and thus makes the intoxicated dummy prone to lose self-control.
He needs to Join Alcoholic's Annonymous and/or Anger Management.
The Anger is his inability to deal with what HE thinks is infidelity - yes - being with a white man is upsetting him.
Who is more important to you? the white man or your husband? IF you are playing games with him, you better stop because
there is no tellin' what an hurt and angry jealous drunk is capable of doing. You threatening divorce is only making his pclick to expand
Posted by bella70777
@Mrfirebird: No silly... I'm not actually seeing a white man. or any man. I'm not being unfaithful. I was just making a comment like... I think I need to end this marriage and find a nice white man... that's all I meant. I would never be unfaithful to him. And I will not find another man until me and him work out our issues, or just end it for good. But no, I am not being unfaithful. he's just mad I would make a comment like that...that's all.
Posted by MrFirebirdPosted by bella70777
@Mrfirebird: No silly... I'm not actually seeing a white man. or any man. I'm not being unfaithful. I was just making a comment like... I think I need to end this marriage and find a nice white man... that's all I meant. I would never be unfaithful to him. And I will not find another man until me and him work out our issues, or just end it for good. But no, I am not being unfaithful. he's just mad I would make a comment like that...that's all.
Okay, that's good on your part. However IF he "THINKS" you messing around then that would still be a problem.
IF his anger has something to do with something else... then.... again... the alcohol is an attempt to escape
that problem. Unfortunately, the alcohol is making it worse because he is not dealing with the core problems
that causes him to drink in the first place.
click to expand
Posted by MrFirebird
Do you live in the US?
Posted by bella70777Posted by MrFirebird
Do you live in the US?
Yes, I live in Cali... where do you live?click to expand
Posted by MrFirebirdPosted by bella70777Posted by MrFirebird
Do you live in the US?
Yes, I live in Cali... where do you live?
Im in So. Cal.
My opinion is that you convince him, one way or another to go to Alcoholics Anonymous and Anger Management.
You can do this with your mother and family involved. Be prepared for resistance because he may not
think he has a problem. It's also possible he has other issues as well.
Are the both of you immigrants or born and raised in the US?
click to expand
Posted by PurrrrHissssPosted by bella70777Posted by Let*It*Be
If he does the famous transformation we are known for, the answer is YES. We do not just throw a relationship into the trash, ESPECIALLY a marriage. All efforts will be made to compromise and save the relationship. (mature scorps that is). Let me ask you...what is it that has to "change"?? That may have a lot to do with weather or not he will do what he has to.
I told his cousin.. "I'm so sick of him... I'm going to find me a good white man because they know how to treat women."
Oh, shit. This thread's going to blow up.click to expand
Posted by bella70777Posted by MrFirebirdPosted by bella70777
@Mrfirebird: No silly... I'm not actually seeing a white man. or any man. I'm not being unfaithful. I was just making a comment like... I think I need to end this marriage and find a nice white man... that's all I meant. I would never be unfaithful to him. And I will not find another man until me and him work out our issues, or just end it for good. But no, I am not being unfaithful. he's just mad I would make a comment like that...that's all.
Okay, that's good on your part. However IF he "THINKS" you messing around then that would still be a problem.
IF his anger has something to do with something else... then.... again... the alcohol is an attempt to escape
that problem. Unfortunately, the alcohol is making it worse because he is not dealing with the core problems
that causes him to drink in the first place.
I get what your saying... But I'm one little wife... standing against a whole family that thinks alcohol won't hurt. His family don't help him...and that's where he is right now. No one really cares about him like me. One day he'll see that... I just hope it won't be too late...click to expand
Posted by bella70777
I still haven't gotten my question answered though... do you think my Scorpio is going to come back to me again?
Posted by bella70777
Sorry I missed this one before my last response.
Well, I tell you what, you need to get YOUR family to surround you because a family that thinks like that isn't worth your time. AND.... that he has these issues, I think you better be prepared to the law involved.
The damned thing about alcohol is the fools that don't have good sense that drink it. It's like letting a child drive a semi truck and trailer.
IF you are ready to call it quits.... hey, his loss.
Posted by bella70777Posted by PurrrrHissssPosted by bella70777Posted by Let*It*Be
If he does the famous transformation we are known for, the answer is YES. We do not just throw a relationship into the trash, ESPECIALLY a marriage. All efforts will be made to compromise and save the relationship. (mature scorps that is). Let me ask you...what is it that has to "change"?? That may have a lot to do with weather or not he will do what he has to.
I told his cousin.. "I'm so sick of him... I'm going to find me a good white man because they know how to treat women."
Oh, shit. This thread's going to blow up.
LMAO!! I'm not trying to be racist.... I'm half white, half asian..and married to an asian. LOL... And I've date a few white men with no problems. I just don't ever wanna be with another asian if *knock on wood* my husband and I don't work out.click to expand
Posted by Fire-WaterPosted by bella70777Posted by PurrrrHissssPosted by bella70777Posted by Let*It*Be
If he does the famous transformation we are known for, the answer is YES. We do not just throw a relationship into the trash, ESPECIALLY a marriage. All efforts will be made to compromise and save the relationship. (mature scorps that is). Let me ask you...what is it that has to "change"?? That may have a lot to do with weather or not he will do what he has to.
I told his cousin.. "I'm so sick of him... I'm going to find me a good white man because they know how to treat women."
Oh, shit. This thread's going to blow up.
LMAO!! I'm not trying to be racist.... I'm half white, half asian..and married to an asian. LOL... And I've date a few white men with no problems. I just don't ever wanna be with another asian if *knock on wood* my husband and I don't work out.
Not trying to be? I guess you cant help it then. If you talk to him the way you spoke to his cousin i wouldnt have waited for you to leave i would have left already. My guess is that you probably wont find another person that will tolerate that kind of talk so dont throw stones, sounds like you have your own issues to deal with.click to expand
Posted by prettyladii
Leave him be. Your doing both yourself and him a favor.
Posted by bella70777Posted by Fire-WaterPosted by bella70777Posted by PurrrrHissssPosted by bella70777Posted by Let*It*Be
If he does the famous transformation we are known for, the answer is YES. We do not just throw a relationship into the trash, ESPECIALLY a marriage. All efforts will be made to compromise and save the relationship. (mature scorps that is). Let me ask you...what is it that has to "change"?? That may have a lot to do with weather or not he will do what he has to.
I told his cousin.. "I'm so sick of him... I'm going to find me a good white man because they know how to treat women."
Oh, shit. This thread's going to blow up.
LMAO!! I'm not trying to be racist.... I'm half white, half asian..and married to an asian. LOL... And I've date a few white men with no problems. I just don't ever wanna be with another asian if *knock on wood* my husband and I don't work out.
Not trying to be? I guess you cant help it then. If you talk to him the way you spoke to his cousin i wouldnt have waited for you to leave i would have left already. My guess is that you probably wont find another person that will tolerate that kind of talk so dont throw stones, sounds like you have your own issues to deal with.
my goodness...don't be so sensitive..no one's talking about u...click to expand
Posted by bella70777Posted by bella70777Posted by Fire-WaterPosted by bella70777Posted by PurrrrHissssPosted by bella70777Posted by Let*It*Be
If he does the famous transformation we are known for, the answer is YES. We do not just throw a relationship into the trash, ESPECIALLY a marriage. All efforts will be made to compromise and save the relationship. (mature scorps that is). Let me ask you...what is it that has to "change"?? That may have a lot to do with weather or not he will do what he has to.
I told his cousin.. "I'm so sick of him... I'm going to find me a good white man because they know how to treat women."
Oh, shit. This thread's going to blow up.
LMAO!! I'm not trying to be racist.... I'm half white, half asian..and married to an asian. LOL... And I've date a few white men with no problems. I just don't ever wanna be with another asian if *knock on wood* my husband and I don't work out.
Not trying to be? I guess you cant help it then. If you talk to him the way you spoke to his cousin i wouldnt have waited for you to leave i would have left already. My guess is that you probably wont find another person that will tolerate that kind of talk so dont throw stones, sounds like you have your own issues to deal with.
my goodness...don't be so sensitive..no one's talking about u...
where was i being racist? get over yourself. if i were to say a nice black man then u would have nothing to say right?click to expand