Lost @ Sea 🌙
This topic was created in the Spirituality forum by xxAjuxx on Sunday, May 7, 2023 and has 52 replies.
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I was asked to hold my grandfather's casket...
My grandfather, my father's father, was a Pisces sun that did not like me. He blocked me from Facebook when he realized I was not Christian like him.
And now I'm supposed to hold him?
Send him home ?
🌻🌷🌻
My mother's body was left to decompose at an escalated rate, left in a plastic bag out of the freezer on purpose when they, a particular family home found out my family wanted to switch funeral homes so they purposely let her body go.
My other grandfather, My grandad, my mother's father, was a Pisces too and he always loved me and accepted me, believed in me but when the time came and he passed away, I was not selected to hold his casket and I stormed out this funeral.
🌻🌷🌻
And so recent I was asked to hold the casket of someone that never talked to me until I was 16? And then later deleted me from his life completely?
🌻🌷🌻
I changed my mind however because I knew how important it was to forgive him and support my father. I had to hold his casket and send him home properly.
This funeral was yesterday.
And the energy here at his funeral was dark.
The preacher felt it and he was livid, practically screaming at us but we did not care. We were just silent, stuck in the past because of what "he" did to us. He was an alcoholic "born again" Christian that disowned anyone that did not follow him and the Pain was keeping us from really sending him off properly. It was slowly killing us, poisoning us...
Keeping us from our heart...
Keeping us from even knowing each other...
If you walked in, It felt like no one could be bothered.
It had the energy of a pep rally that was stepping on your schedule. And No one wanted to be there.
🌻🌷🌻
When it was time to say something about him, no one came up. There was just silence.
The preachers wife was pulled to say something positive about him but it wasn't enough.
The preacher was about to boil over as he could not understand why so many hearts were closed at such an event.
So I rise.
I head to the front to speak.
I'm nervous though, more than usual because there is conflicting energy within me. I wanted to help my grandfather know though that I loved him still but trauma was still there in me... harming...eating me from the inside like everyone else...
🌻🌷🌻
The end of my speech I said that when each of us go, there is a bomb that goes off. This bomb is one last lesson everyone around this person must learn.
And to me, my grandads soul was teaching us about forgiveness and the power of family..
This broke the ice after I said this...
my brother rose to speak after...
my father rose to speak after...
my uncle rose to speak after....
my aunt, my uncles, more and more rose to speak..
And it slowly turned into a place of healing..
The preacher could hardly believe it..
🌻🌷🌻
It was as if a curse was being lifted from us finally and we were allowing ourselves to heal. We had to because we were all dying slowly from this poison.
Holding grudges kill families...
🌻🌷🌻
What things are we holding back, keeping from ourselves because of past trauma..pain?
What treasure are we not allowing ourselves
to find because of a closed heart?
What things are lost forever because
of a closed heart? We have to open our heart.
We have to in order to heal others and ourselves.
My grandfather, my father's father, was a Pisces sun that did not like me. He blocked me from Facebook when he realized I was not Christian like him.
And now I'm supposed to hold him?
Send him home ?
🌻🌷🌻
My mother's body was left to decompose at an escalated rate, left in a plastic bag out of the freezer on purpose when they, a particular family home found out my family wanted to switch funeral homes so they purposely let her body go.
My other grandfather, My grandad, my mother's father, was a Pisces too and he always loved me and accepted me, believed in me but when the time came and he passed away, I was not selected to hold his casket and I stormed out this funeral.
🌻🌷🌻
And so recent I was asked to hold the casket of someone that never talked to me until I was 16? And then later deleted me from his life completely?
🌻🌷🌻
I changed my mind however because I knew how important it was to forgive him and support my father. I had to hold his casket and send him home properly.
This funeral was yesterday.
And the energy here at his funeral was dark.
The preacher felt it and he was livid, practically screaming at us but we did not care. We were just silent, stuck in the past because of what "he" did to us. He was an alcoholic "born again" Christian that disowned anyone that did not follow him and the Pain was keeping us from really sending him off properly. It was slowly killing us, poisoning us...
Keeping us from our heart...
Keeping us from even knowing each other...
If you walked in, It felt like no one could be bothered.
It had the energy of a pep rally that was stepping on your schedule. And No one wanted to be there.
🌻🌷🌻
When it was time to say something about him, no one came up. There was just silence.
The preachers wife was pulled to say something positive about him but it wasn't enough.
The preacher was about to boil over as he could not understand why so many hearts were closed at such an event.
So I rise.
I head to the front to speak.
I'm nervous though, more than usual because there is conflicting energy within me. I wanted to help my grandfather know though that I loved him still but trauma was still there in me... harming...eating me from the inside like everyone else...
🌻🌷🌻
The end of my speech I said that when each of us go, there is a bomb that goes off. This bomb is one last lesson everyone around this person must learn.
And to me, my grandads soul was teaching us about forgiveness and the power of family..
This broke the ice after I said this...
my brother rose to speak after...
my father rose to speak after...
my uncle rose to speak after....
my aunt, my uncles, more and more rose to speak..
And it slowly turned into a place of healing..
The preacher could hardly believe it..
🌻🌷🌻
It was as if a curse was being lifted from us finally and we were allowing ourselves to heal. We had to because we were all dying slowly from this poison.
Holding grudges kill families...
🌻🌷🌻
What things are we holding back, keeping from ourselves because of past trauma..pain?
What treasure are we not allowing ourselves
to find because of a closed heart?
What things are lost forever because
of a closed heart? We have to open our heart.
We have to in order to heal others and ourselves.
You were asked.
Your response should have been No.
Forgiveness is overrated.
Your response should have been No.
Forgiveness is overrated.
Posted by DMVThank you and bless you @DMV 🙏 🙂
You were asked.
Your response should have been No.
Forgiveness is overrated.
It was hard DMV. I did say no. I actually did.
And I let it sit for a day..
But I just couldn't do that..
Forgiveness didn't mean I accepted*
what he did but is a release of what he did.
My scorpio moon, as other scorpio moons,
I believe we must forgive as it is easy for us to
hold on to an event, to energy, remember
every little thing like it was yesterday...
And it eats us from inside... Like rust..
Preventing us from healing inwardly..
Preventing us to really see*
I’m so glad you let it out and it changed the perspective for so many others. I think that’s some true healing, good on you!
@xxAjuxx I think it’s wonderful and brave what you did. It’s not even about forgiveness really but about you taking control of the situation and trying to turn around a negative dynamic. Some things we need to do for us no matter what anyone else thinks.
nothing wrong with that.
when I closed the door on my toxic gran after my dad's death (which I partly attribute to her), I've opened a more fruitful relationship with my mom whom she spent years maliciously slandering. I've been delusionally trying to 'make it work' for years until I finally accepted that there are people, no matter if they're family that does NOT want the best for you. and keeping you in that state serves only their own selfish ends.
when I closed the door on my toxic gran after my dad's death (which I partly attribute to her), I've opened a more fruitful relationship with my mom whom she spent years maliciously slandering. I've been delusionally trying to 'make it work' for years until I finally accepted that there are people, no matter if they're family that does NOT want the best for you. and keeping you in that state serves only their own selfish ends.
Posted by xxAjuxxAs a fellow Scorpio Moon I disagree.Posted by DMV
You were asked.
Your response should have been No.
Forgiveness is overrated.
Thank you and bless you @DMV 🙏 🙂
It was hard DMV. I did say no. I actually did.
And I let it sit for a day..
But I just couldn't do that..
Forgiveness didn't mean I accepted*
what he did but is a release of what he did.
My scorpio moon, as other scorpio moons,
I believe we must forgive as it is easy for us to
hold on to an event, to energy, remember
every little thing like it was yesterday...
And it eats us from inside... Like rust..
Preventing us from healing inwardly..
Preventing us to really see*
click to expand
I don't really feel held back or like I'm carrying a weight on my shoulders for not forgiving someone. I don't even know what true forgiveness feels like because I don't have a say in the way I feel about someone, I just feel that way and never fight, resist, demonize, or get into a state of denial about how I feel. I feel no moral weight, shame or guilt about how I feel. I always stay true to myself.
And if that means I fucking despise someone and consider them dead to me, then it is what it is. It doesn't necessarily mean someone had to hurt me deeply, just that I saw through a person who made a relatively small transgression against me and I despised what I saw in that person.
I tend to dehumanize people I consider "dead" to me. So most often than not, they don't live rent free in my head or emotions. But they inspire great antipathy and revulsion in me. And I can be very black and white do or die type of person and tend to be incredibly spiteful. But... that's very different from the picture people paint of someone dying inside because they are holding on to resentment.
That’s extremely big of you. I’ve often noticed father’s side of relatives seem to love/tolerate less than mother’s side of relatives. I knew this would also happen to my baby too as my mother-in-law is full of so much toxicity. Like you can literally feel heavy, dark energy ooze out her presence and face. I keep in mind that a person is only unnecessarily awful to others when they are not at peace with themselves. Anyway, I wish my husband would stop gaslighting himself on how shitty his own mom is. I don’t know why he forces his mother to love our baby. Maybe an ego thing for him as literally even outsiders of the family adore our baby more than her paternal “grandmother”. Rather than speak negatively about people that’s difficult not to, I’ve decided I will not be actively teaching my children about the existence of their father’s side unless my husband chooses to be active about it. The burden is on him, not me and there should be consequences for it.
I am lucky to read your post. As I'm reading I got the feeling that you're talking about my father (he's alive though and whom I just realized there is a chance that he could be mentally ill with ODD, still unsure.. but something's not right about him and he's not diagnosed), and it came to me that forgiveness is what would really help dealing with difficult people. But you need to be strong and forgiving to yourself first, and just gracefully rise above it. Just as you did at the funeral.
You have to be proud of yourself cause really not many would understand how difficult and painful this situation is. And some would just choose the easy way out, which is rejecting the idea and let it go. I must say that you have a good heart.. my condolences to your family
You have to be proud of yourself cause really not many would understand how difficult and painful this situation is. And some would just choose the easy way out, which is rejecting the idea and let it go. I must say that you have a good heart.. my condolences to your family
Posted by GeminiJimThank you and bless you 🙏 😁 @GeminiJim
Nah you did the right thing. It's only 1 day. You know inside what things mean. Extrenal events don't change that
I hope this event helps because of what all us did.We are texting in group chat now working on a family reunion 🙂
Posted by AbbyNormalThank you and bless you 🙏 🙂 @AbbyNormal
I’m so glad you let it out and it changed the perspective for so many others. I think that’s some true healing, good on you!
Me too. I kind of felt I had to. I just had to.
Posted by geminiflybyThank you and bless you @geminiflyby 🙏 🙂
@xxAjuxx I think it’s wonderful and brave what you did. It’s not even about forgiveness really but about you taking control of the situation and trying to turn around a negative dynamic. Some things we need to do for us no matter what anyone else thinks.
Is there a moment you forgave something or someone and an event or positive moment haapen to you after? New positive experiences?
Posted by virgoOPPPThank you and bless you @virgoOPPP 🙏 🙂
nothing wrong with that.
when I closed the door on my toxic gran after my dad's death (which I partly attribute to her), I've opened a more fruitful relationship with my mom whom she spent years maliciously slandering. I've been delusionally trying to 'make it work' for years until I finally accepted that there are people, no matter if they're family that does NOT want the best for you. and keeping you in that state serves only their own selfish ends.
Oh yes. And in my opinion, forgiveness doesn't have a time limit. When you feel it's time to let go, let go then but I do think it's important to eventually let it go, sooner than later.
Now with that being said, that doesn't mean one is accepting* or is okay* with what has happened.
It just means we let it go so what they did doesn't harm us no further --so we can clearly see,hear, and be because...
people do things to people but thats not the only way we are affected, we are harmed double what happend if we carry it with us and as time goes on it can increase causing
disease....separation...or worse... 😔
Yes. The thing that makes me craziest is having my intentions misunderstood. When someone gets upset over something you may have innocently said or done.
If explanation is not enough then it’s time to apologize (for something you didn’t even do) so that everyone can move on and keep the peace (or the friendship). It’s stops being about right and wrong and more like looking at the bigger picture.
If explanation is not enough then it’s time to apologize (for something you didn’t even do) so that everyone can move on and keep the peace (or the friendship). It’s stops being about right and wrong and more like looking at the bigger picture.
Posted by Dastard2020Thank you and bless you 🙏 🙂 @Dastard2020Posted by xxAjuxxPosted by DMV
You were asked.
Your response should have been No.
Forgiveness is overrated.
Thank you and bless you @DMV 🙏 🙂
It was hard DMV. I did say no. I actually did.
And I let it sit for a day..
But I just couldn't do that..
Forgiveness didn't mean I accepted*
what he did but is a release of what he did.
My scorpio moon, as other scorpio moons,
I believe we must forgive as it is easy for us to
hold on to an event, to energy, remember
every little thing like it was yesterday...
And it eats us from inside... Like rust..
Preventing us from healing inwardly..
Preventing us to really see*
click to expand
As a fellow Scorpio Moon I disagree.
I don't really feel held back or like I'm carrying a weight on my shoulders for not forgiving someone. I don't even know what true forgiveness feels like because I don't have a say in the way I feel about someone, I just feel that way and never fight, resist, demonize, or get into a state of denial about how I feel. I feel no moral weight, shame or guilt about how I feel. I always stay true to myself.
And if that means I fucking despise someone and consider them dead to me, then it is what it is. It doesn't necessarily mean someone had to hurt me deeply, just that I saw through a person who made a relatively small transgression against me and I despised what I saw in that person.
I tend to dehumanize people I consider "dead" to me. So most often than not, they don't live rent free in my head or emotions. But they inspire great antipathy and revulsion in me. And I can be very black and white do or die type of person and tend to be incredibly spiteful. But... that's very different from the picture people paint of someone dying inside because they are holding on to resentment.click to expand
And not having a moral means in this way as far as feelings is okay. That may even be the most noble or wise thing TO* do. You accept it and don't judge it.
I think that's even necessary to be considered the first step when it comes to this..
And everything else...
Yeah, you are perfectly fine..
All of you are.. What I am wondering is what things are "lost" when we don't drop it.
You know..What things are invisible to us that could benefit us when we do carry things inside or continue to let what someone has done dictate what we do.
Posted by Dastard2020Thank you and bless you 🙏 🙂 @Dastard2020
https://m.youtube.com/shorts/hDiA88w2JMc
Nothing wrong with her way.
I'm just not anymore. I can ((not))
Posted by SassyKiwiThank you and bless you! 🙌 🙏 @SassyKiwi!
That’s extremely big of you. I’ve often noticed father’s side of relatives seem to love/tolerate less than mother’s side of relatives. I knew this would also happen to my baby too as my mother-in-law is full of so much toxicity. Like you can literally feel heavy, dark energy ooze out her presence and face. I keep in mind that a person is only unnecessarily awful to others when they are not at peace with themselves. Anyway, I wish my husband would stop gaslighting himself on how shitty his own mom is. I don’t know why he forces his mother to love our baby. Maybe an ego thing for him as literally even outsiders of the family adore our baby more than her paternal “grandmother”. Rather than speak negatively about people that’s difficult not to, I’ve decided I will not be actively teaching my children about the existence of their father’s side unless my husband chooses to be active about it. The burden is on him, not me and there should be consequences for it.
Oh wow wow.
I understand that.
I think so hard about this if I was a father.
I often think I would be similar to a character named Goku who was with his first child in peace away from the world until his son was much older.
5 or 6 years old?
I often think about this because the first 7 or 8 years are important on the child and their subconscious. It is crucial to teach good things (even by example) and show love. Their future paradigm* is being created in those early years by everything they suck in.
The subconscious is powerful and will stick any and everything the child sees and hears early. So, I often think, maybe I will go in the forest somewhere? Do not share or tell anyone until he is 12 years old.
!
🤣
Okay, yeah it's unrealistic maybe but it's something serious I think about often.
We have so many unconscious programs running in us and they may not be coming from our parents either.
Posted by TxOgalI don't want to cry but you're getting me theerrre...
I am lucky to read your post. As I'm reading I got the feeling that you're talking about my father (he's alive though and whom I just realized there is a chance that he could be mentally ill with ODD, still unsure.. but something's not right about him and he's not diagnosed), and it came to me that forgiveness is what would really help dealing with difficult people. But you need to be strong and forgiving to yourself first, and just gracefully rise above it. Just as you did at the funeral.
You have to be proud of yourself cause really not many would understand how difficult and painful this situation is. And some would just choose the easy way out, which is rejecting the idea and let it go. I must say that you have a good heart.. my condolences to your family
Thank you and bless you 🙏 😥
Thank you and bless you 🙏 😥
That really means a lot.
It means so much.
Saying I have a good heart
and that I am strong.
🌟
I hope you're father is okay.
(I will say a sacred prayer for him before I
send this message to you okay. I promise.)
Love and forgiveness Heals so many things.
They heal* so many things.
Because healing* is a higher note ( 🎵 )
than disease or pain...
So forgiveness and love, together, both high notes (🎵) can help create a higher note reality, a beautiful song that contains healing, wishful realities, harmonious relationships , (🎶) in your life.
(Prayer sent)
🌟
Posted by geminiflybyThank you and bless you 🙏 🌟 @geminiflyby
Yes. The thing that makes me craziest is having my intentions misunderstood. When someone gets upset over something you may have innocently said or done.
If explanation is not enough then it’s time to apologize (for something you didn’t even do) so that everyone can move on and keep the peace (or the friendship). It’s stops being about right and wrong and more like looking at the bigger picture.
Right! The bigger picture!
Forget* about them or me for second...
What about both* of us?
What about all* of us?
What message are we sending out?
Communication*
Is crucial when this happens.
🌟
Posted by xxAjuxxI get that.Posted by DMV
You were asked.
Your response should have been No.
Forgiveness is overrated.
Thank you and bless you @DMV 🙏 🙂
It was hard DMV. I did say no. I actually did.
And I let it sit for a day..
But I just couldn't do that..
Forgiveness didn't mean I accepted*
what he did but is a release of what he did.
My scorpio moon, as other scorpio moons,
I believe we must forgive as it is easy for us to
hold on to an event, to energy, remember
every little thing like it was yesterday...
And it eats us from inside... Like rust..
Preventing us from healing inwardly..
Preventing us to really see*
click to expand
I just want people who have always or feel guilted to forgive, to stop.
It’s OKAY to put yourself on a pedestal and say no more.
I wonder how many people who have been forgiven actually change? Or did they go and repeat the same pattern with a new victim.
like geminibyfly said, i think you really took control of the situation and inspired the other people who were there at the funeral by trying to bring some form of enlightenment, wisdom and a peaceful closure in a way (?) to this very complex circumstance.
forgiveness doesn’t have to mean “condoning what someone has done to you”.
it’s releasing and transcending the hurt. the pain. the resentment. and moving on from it. it’s not about who won and who lost. it’s about finding harmony.
forgiveness doesn’t have to mean “condoning what someone has done to you”.
it’s releasing and transcending the hurt. the pain. the resentment. and moving on from it. it’s not about who won and who lost. it’s about finding harmony.
but it’s also true that certain people cannot really change. in those cases, you still gotta look out for your sanity and energy.
sometimes, people don’t stop being toxic or harmful just ‘cause we found peace
sometimes, people don’t stop being toxic or harmful just ‘cause we found peace
I think serenidad has already described it the way I see it. When you forgive someone you don't do it for the person, they still have to come clean with their deed, but you do it for yourself. So that you can finish and the healing begins.
You have my appreciation for speaking up in this situation. It doesn't sound like easy circumstances.
You have my appreciation for speaking up in this situation. It doesn't sound like easy circumstances.
Posted by DMVThank you and bless you 🙏 @DMVPosted by xxAjuxxPosted by DMV
You were asked.
Your response should have been No.
Forgiveness is overrated.
Thank you and bless you @DMV 🙏 🙂
It was hard DMV. I did say no. I actually did.
And I let it sit for a day..
But I just couldn't do that..
Forgiveness didn't mean I accepted*
what he did but is a release of what he did.
My scorpio moon, as other scorpio moons,
I believe we must forgive as it is easy for us to
hold on to an event, to energy, remember
every little thing like it was yesterday...
And it eats us from inside... Like rust..
Preventing us from healing inwardly..
Preventing us to really see*
click to expand
I get that.
I just want people who have always or feel guilted to forgive, to stop.
It’s OKAY to put yourself on a pedestal and say no more.
I wonder how many people who have been forgiven actually change? Or did they go and repeat the same pattern with a new victim.
click to expand
Oh yes definitely.
It was a slippery slope to create this particular thread. I don't ever want to imply you *must*do anything or it is wrong to not do as I do here.
There is definitely no time limit either.
Nor is it wrong to "not forgive".
I just wonder what miracles, golden eggs,
are we not seeing if we dont let it go.
What things are 🌟((lost))🌟
To Not go down this path.
Posted by serenidadThank you and bless you @serenidad 🙏 🙃
but it’s also true that certain people cannot really change. in those cases, you still gotta look out for your sanity and energy.
sometimes, people don’t stop being toxic or harmful just ‘cause we found peace
Oh yes.
@DMV touched on that as well and I agree.
Some don't even change.
I often wonder how my Forgiveness would even
play out if my grandad was still alive.
Would I still be close?
Would I still come around?
Energy sometimes can feel scary and
make your body do things that you can't control.
His energy in person was one of judgement.
It felt like an eagle eye 👁
An eye that is grading low
if you are not a man of Christ.
It makes me emotional now
because THAT is NOT of love.
That energy is not for those you love*
Posted by DKThank you and bless you @DK 🙏☺
I think serenidad has already described it the way I see it. When you forgive someone you don't do it for the person, they still have to come clean with their deed, but you do it for yourself. So that you can finish and the healing begins.
You have my appreciation for speaking up in this situation. It doesn't sound like easy circumstances.
I agree. It's about peace within.
That is why I rose. It just didn't feel right
to not let this out of me and continue to feed on me.
Like Riply from Alien, I did not want to have this
"Thing" this "alien" in my chest where love should be.
Posted by FindingbalanceThank you and bless you @Findingbalance 🙏
I think you did the right thing. You've learned what for many is a difficult lesson, and for many others, something they will never understand. Accepting people, as flawed or dark as they might be, for who they are just allows you peace. Not one human is perfect, it's part of being human. Those that project anger at others are unhappy in their soul. Feeling angry towards them does nothing for your internal peace. Both of my parents were quite...imperfect. some very negative things happened to me in my younger years. But holding onto the bad of it certainly won't bring light or good to my life now. Letting go of it and making peace with it brings you forward. Some say it's being weak, but they don't understandthe strength it takes to do so. I'm glad for you, that you chose to walk that path and let it go.
Thank you and bless you. 🙂
Yeah, because when you let it go, you can
really live your life.
It can still take time and that's okay.
Healing can take time.
And I mean TIME.
You don't even have to forgive imo.
All soul paths are unique and valuable.
But...
What if you do?
Posted by BunnyMacDougalThank you and bless you @BunnyMacDougal 🙏
We all die in the end.
I wouldn’t mind being there for my toxic family members in the end but while they’re alive I would prefer minimal interaction. 😅
Yeah and I would most likely be that way too
with my grandad. Love would be there, no
more of me holding things but ...
the quality of his energy...
He would probably continue to not
want to see me or be close.
Posted by xxAjuxxIt’s not going to work if you forgive only for the purpose of hoping to see change in other people, because it may never come.Posted by serenidad
but it’s also true that certain people cannot really change. in those cases, you still gotta look out for your sanity and energy.
sometimes, people don’t stop being toxic or harmful just ‘cause we found peace
Thank you and bless you @serenidad 🙏 🙃
Oh yes.
@DMV touched on that as well and I agree.
Some don't even change.
I often wonder how my Forgiveness would even
play out if my grandad was still alive.
Would I still be close?
Would I still come around?
Energy sometimes can feel scary and
make your body do things that you can't control.
His energy in person was one of judgement.
It felt like an eagle eye 👁
An eye that is grading low
if you are not a man of Christ.
It makes me emotional now
because THAT is NOT of love.
That energy is not for those you love*
click to expand
Some people won’t change, but it doesn’t mean you have to hold a grudge.
Posted by serenidadI wish you knew how much the resonanted for ya boy
but it’s also true that certain people cannot really change. in those cases, you still gotta look out for your sanity and energy.
sometimes, people don’t stop being toxic or harmful just ‘cause we found peace
You did right thing. You opened your heart to let it heal. At small sacrifice for a huge return. You led with your heart and helped everyone else rise.
And you learned a great lesson from it. Saying no wouldn't have made you wrong at all but would you have gotten such insight without it?
Love this post by the way🔥
And you learned a great lesson from it. Saying no wouldn't have made you wrong at all but would you have gotten such insight without it?
Love this post by the way🔥
Posted by Libra4rmTXmy father used to say, “letting someone deal with the consequences of their own actions is also a form of love. because if you keep rescuing someone from the consequences of their own actions, they won’t learn anything nor become a better person.”Posted by serenidad
but it’s also true that certain people cannot really change. in those cases, you still gotta look out for your sanity and energy.
sometimes, people don’t stop being toxic or harmful just ‘cause we found peace
I wish you knew how much the resonanted for ya boyclick to expand
you can forgive people and still love them from afar, and still wish good things for them, but forgiving and enabling are two different things.
even looking back on my own life, i feel like i grew as a person the most when no one saved me from my own consequences lol so i think it’s a form of love to let people learn their own lessons.
Posted by serenidadAnd once again lol you hit on another situation in my life. Thats crazy because I just talked to my momma about it. I let my day 1 stay with me for a month and a half. Its a long story but I basically had realized I couldn't save him from himself and had to light a fire. Shit was eye opening so for you to say this along with forgivenenss from a far, thats some real shit and shit I'm literally dealing with with different pplPosted by Libra4rmTXPosted by serenidad
but it’s also true that certain people cannot really change. in those cases, you still gotta look out for your sanity and energy.
sometimes, people don’t stop being toxic or harmful just ‘cause we found peace
I wish you knew how much the resonanted for ya boy
my father used to say, “letting someone deal with the consequences of their own actions is also a form of love. because if you keep rescuing someone from the consequences of their own actions, they won’t learn anything nor become a better person.”
you can forgive people and still love them from afar, and still wish good things for them, but forgiving and enabling are two different things.
even looking back on my own life, i feel like i grew as a person the most when no one saved me from my own consequences lol so i think it’s a form of love to let people learn their own lessons.click to expand
Posted by poppyflowerThank you so much and bless you 🙏 @poppyflowerPosted by xxAjuxxPosted by serenidad
but it’s also true that certain people cannot really change. in those cases, you still gotta look out for your sanity and energy.
sometimes, people don’t stop being toxic or harmful just ‘cause we found peace
Thank you and bless you @serenidad 🙏 🙃
Oh yes.
@DMV touched on that as well and I agree.
Some don't even change.
I often wonder how my Forgiveness would even
play out if my grandad was still alive.
Would I still be close?
Would I still come around?
Energy sometimes can feel scary and
make your body do things that you can't control.
His energy in person was one of judgement.
It felt like an eagle eye 👁
An eye that is grading low
if you are not a man of Christ.
It makes me emotional now
because THAT is NOT of love.
That energy is not for those you love*
click to expand
It’s not going to work if you forgive only for the purpose of hoping to see change in other people, because it may never come.
Some people won’t change, but it doesn’t mean you have to hold a grudge.click to expand
I agree 🙂 100%
He probably would never really accepted me if he was still here but I don't mind. I just needed to release that from inside and make sure he knew, where he is that I forgive him and I love him.
Posted by Libra4rmTXOh thank you and bless you @Libra4rmTX 🙏
You did right thing. You opened your heart to let it heal. At small sacrifice for a huge return. You led with your heart and helped everyone else rise.
And you learned a great lesson from it. Saying no wouldn't have made you wrong at all but would you have gotten such insight without it?
Love this post by the way🔥
I really appreciate that.
I was nervous to reveal this to everyone
but I felt it may help or shed light on things.
Me and my family, we are now starting a family reunion too and working on building bridges to stay
connect now 🙂
Posted by Findingbalance@FindingbalancePosted by xxAjuxxPosted by Findingbalance
I think you did the right thing. You've learned what for many is a difficult lesson, and for many others, something they will never understand. Accepting people, as flawed or dark as they might be, for who they are just allows you peace. Not one human is perfect, it's part of being human. Those that project anger at others are unhappy in their soul. Feeling angry towards them does nothing for your internal peace. Both of my parents were quite...imperfect. some very negative things happened to me in my younger years. But holding onto the bad of it certainly won't bring light or good to my life now. Letting go of it and making peace with it brings you forward. Some say it's being weak, but they don't understandthe strength it takes to do so. I'm glad for you, that you chose to walk that path and let it go.
Thank you and bless you @Findingbalance 🙏
Thank you and bless you. 🙂
Yeah, because when you let it go, you can
really live your life.
It can still take time and that's okay.
Healing can take time.
And I mean TIME.
You don't even have to forgive imo.
All soul paths are unique and valuable.
But...
What if you do?
click to expand
No one needs to forgive. It's a personal decision.
I can't seem to find the words I want for this. I feel like, freedom. Peace. Understanding. Growth.
People misunderstand forgiveness. You don't even need to tell someone you've forgiven them (obviously especially if they've passed). Or accepted the past. It really is for you. You see and accept the flaws, the humanity, and move past it. Honestly what does not forgiving or staying angry really do either?
Perhaps someone is angry you chose a path. Perhaps its selfish because it takes you away from them, perhaps it's because they fear for you and can't figure out that isn't really anger it's fear and that's different. Seeing it that way, you can forgive and accept it for you. You let it fall away from you. You can be sad for them for being in a place where they get angry like that. Imagine living being angry all the time. How horrible.click to expand
I agree. I agree to it all.
I just had to release that from myself
In some way, and I realize doing that,
Rising to maybe help others was the way ✨
It doesn't make me special. I just had to.
Signed Up: Jan 22, 2023
Comments: 675 · Posts: 907 · Topics: 5
Comments: 675 · Posts: 907 · Topics: 5
This was a great post, Aju. I interpreted this a lot differently than several others - I see you putting your personal trauma and resentments aside to be there for your dad, your family as a whole, and most importantly for YOURSELF. I didn’t interpret this as being for your grandfather specifically, rather than your family to come together and process this death and the profound effect this person had on your lives, and to let it all go, along with him.
The irony in these situations, and I’ve attended similar funerals of, honestly… hated family members, is that they really are completely ignorant to the fact that the whole legacy of their life was being a negative influence on others around them. The funeral is the death of that person, and instead of celebrating this person like they think people will, it’s more like a processing, relief, and letting go. I don’t think they know that when they are alive and making funeral plans for themselves.
The irony in these situations, and I’ve attended similar funerals of, honestly… hated family members, is that they really are completely ignorant to the fact that the whole legacy of their life was being a negative influence on others around them. The funeral is the death of that person, and instead of celebrating this person like they think people will, it’s more like a processing, relief, and letting go. I don’t think they know that when they are alive and making funeral plans for themselves.
Posted by xxAjuxxyour grandfather judging you probably had nothing to do with you personally. it was probably due to some fear of the unknown. we as humans tend to judge and fear things that are outside of our comfort zones or understanding. i still haven’t figured out what makes someone “a man/woman of Christ” in these Christian people’s eyes. i feel like being a good person with a kind heart and good morals should be enough to make god or whoever they’re trying to impress proud lol some people claim to be Christians but do horrible things. like those priests who molest kids (i’ve seen numerous documentaries about them) etc. so i don’t know what their criterion is for being a good Christian lol it’s weird.Posted by serenidad
but it’s also true that certain people cannot really change. in those cases, you still gotta look out for your sanity and energy.
sometimes, people don’t stop being toxic or harmful just ‘cause we found peace
Thank you and bless you @serenidad 🙏 🙃
Oh yes.
@DMV touched on that as well and I agree.
Some don't even change.
I often wonder how my Forgiveness would even
play out if my grandad was still alive.
Would I still be close?
Would I still come around?
Energy sometimes can feel scary and
make your body do things that you can't control.
His energy in person was one of judgement.
It felt like an eagle eye 👁
An eye that is grading low
if you are not a man of Christ.
It makes me emotional now
because THAT is NOT of love.
That energy is not for those you love*
click to expand
Posted by Libra4rmTXyeah, you’ve done what you could to help your friend. there’s always some form of guilt associated with letting someone go and learn their own lessons, but in the long run, you will be helping them more by doing so. there’s a quote, “if you want to learn to swim, you have to throw yourself in the water” lol we all have to throw ourselves in the water lol including your friend.Posted by serenidadPosted by Libra4rmTXPosted by serenidad
but it’s also true that certain people cannot really change. in those cases, you still gotta look out for your sanity and energy.
sometimes, people don’t stop being toxic or harmful just ‘cause we found peace
I wish you knew how much the resonanted for ya boy
my father used to say, “letting someone deal with the consequences of their own actions is also a form of love. because if you keep rescuing someone from the consequences of their own actions, they won’t learn anything nor become a better person.”
you can forgive people and still love them from afar, and still wish good things for them, but forgiving and enabling are two different things.
even looking back on my own life, i feel like i grew as a person the most when no one saved me from my own consequences lol so i think it’s a form of love to let people learn their own lessons.
click to expand
And once again lol you hit on another situation in my life. Thats crazy because I just talked to my momma about it. I let my day 1 stay with me for a month and a half. Its a long story but I basically had realized I couldn't save him from himself and had to light a fire. Shit was eye opening so for you to say this along with forgivenenss from a far, thats some real shit and shit I'm literally dealing with with different pplclick to expand
My other grandfather, My grandad, my mother's father, was a Pisces too and he always loved me and accepted me, believed in me but when the time came and he passed away, I was not selected to hold his casket and I stormed out this funeral.
You should not hold them accountable for his decisions could’ve been made by the living not him
You should not hold them accountable for his decisions could’ve been made by the living not him
The priest sounds controlling
Posted by nanochipThank you!!!!!!!
This was a great post, Aju. I interpreted this a lot differently than several others - I see you putting your personal trauma and resentments aside to be there for your dad, your family as a whole, and most importantly for YOURSELF. I didn’t interpret this as being for your grandfather specifically, rather than your family to come together and process this death and the profound effect this person had on your lives, and to let it all go, along with him.
The irony in these situations, and I’ve attended similar funerals of, honestly… hated family members, is that they really are completely ignorant to the fact that the whole legacy of their life was being a negative influence on others around them. The funeral is the death of that person, and instead of celebrating this person like they think people will, it’s more like a processing, relief, and letting go. I don’t think they know that when they are alive and making funeral plans for themselves.
and bless you 🙏@nanochip
Yes 🥲
And my father was such a crucial point
in me deciding to do this. I just wanted
to be there for my father too. It's making
me emotional now 😢
I actually had to step away from this thread too
as I was still processing this day. So I apologize
for this late response @nanochip.
My grandfather though...
if only he knew that his actions
would affect even his
Way of passage. No one wanted to hold his
coffin! Not even me at first. But I just had to.
In my center, my heart I had to.
I feel we spread energy like how pollution
spreads and I just wanted to spread love
in this way to atleast close his chapter on a
good note. Me and this side of the family
are now keeping in touch especially through
group chat and now preparing a family reunion 🥲
....................................................................
.....................................................................
Posted by serenidadExactly!!!!!!!!!!Posted by xxAjuxxPosted by serenidad
but it’s also true that certain people cannot really change. in those cases, you still gotta look out for your sanity and energy.
sometimes, people don’t stop being toxic or harmful just ‘cause we found peace
Thank you and bless you @serenidad 🙏 🙃
Oh yes.
@DMV touched on that as well and I agree.
Some don't even change.
I often wonder how my Forgiveness would even
play out if my grandad was still alive.
Would I still be close?
Would I still come around?
Energy sometimes can feel scary and
make your body do things that you can't control.
His energy in person was one of judgement.
It felt like an eagle eye 👁
An eye that is grading low
if you are not a man of Christ.
It makes me emotional now
because THAT is NOT of love.
That energy is not for those you love*
click to expand
your grandfather judging you probably had nothing to do with you personally. it was probably due to some fear of the unknown. we as humans tend to judge and fear things that are outside of our comfort zones or understanding. i still haven’t figured out what makes someone “a man/woman of Christ” in these Christian people’s eyes. i feel like being a good person with a kind heart and good morals should be enough to make god or whoever they’re trying to impress proud lol some people claim to be Christians but do horrible things. like those priests who molest kids (i’ve seen numerous documentaries about them) etc. so i don’t know what their criterion is for being a good Christian lol it’s weird.click to expand
That's what I explore all the time in mind
when it comes to Christians. Many I have
come to know speak of love and read the
Bible but their actions do not resonate or
represent what coming from love really is!!!!!
Also, I apologize for taking so long to respond
@serenidad 🙏
I had to take a step back from this thread as I was
still processing things from this event.
....................................................................
.....................................................................
@Truemara
Thank you and bless you 🙏☺
Haha!!!! 😄 he was controlling
now that I think about it. It was
so funny though internally because he
actually went out his comfort zone and
pointed out what I felt was a curse on this
side of the family. Most live orators don't
do that. They simply stick to the script.
The energy was of something that felt
distant or not connected to him, my grandfather.
So many people have trained themselves for
years to simply put my grandfather under a rug
for so long and so the effect is this "cold" or "robotic"
feeling when it came to connecting to him,
My grandfather
Which in turn caused us all to be distant
Towards each other and cold, robotic.
by moving away and even not knowing each other.
....................................................................
.....................................................................
Thank you and bless you 🙏☺
Haha!!!! 😄 he was controlling
now that I think about it. It was
so funny though internally because he
actually went out his comfort zone and
pointed out what I felt was a curse on this
side of the family. Most live orators don't
do that. They simply stick to the script.
The energy was of something that felt
distant or not connected to him, my grandfather.
So many people have trained themselves for
years to simply put my grandfather under a rug
for so long and so the effect is this "cold" or "robotic"
feeling when it came to connecting to him,
My grandfather
Which in turn caused us all to be distant
Towards each other and cold, robotic.
by moving away and even not knowing each other.
....................................................................
.....................................................................
I apologize for bringing this thread up. I appreciate you sharing your testimony very much.
Forgiveness brings healing.
Because you were asked tells me this is "Divine Orchestration". I see his hand in this.
You had a purpose, not only was it going to bring healing to you but to many others.
It took you to bring that change.
God bless you. If you believe in God or not he is always with you. He will never give up on you. He loves you.
Forgiveness brings healing.
Because you were asked tells me this is "Divine Orchestration". I see his hand in this.
You had a purpose, not only was it going to bring healing to you but to many others.
It took you to bring that change.
God bless you. If you believe in God or not he is always with you. He will never give up on you. He loves you.
You are the preacher
Posted by LoverOfTheSea
I apologize for bringing this thread up. I appreciate you sharing your testimony very much.
Forgiveness brings healing.
Because you were asked tells me this is "Divine Orchestration". I see his hand in this.
You had a purpose, not only was it going to bring healing to you but to many others.
It took you to bring that change.
God bless you. If you believe in God or not he is always with you. He will never give up on you. He loves you.
you can open any thread. I don't mind.
And I'll have to say, this post --your post, helped to pull me out of some rough times here recently. I'm a lot more alone now and doing what I can to throw this water out of this sinking ship so I want to thank you for posting this, especially since I have felt that a lot of people have given up on me.
Posted by Walk_on_by
You are the preacher
thank you so much, @Walk_on_by
he was livid.
I think I had to be though at that moment. The preacher the family needed at that time.
Posted by xxAjuxxI'm sending you lots of love and hugs. I'm keeping you in my prayers.Posted by LoverOfTheSea
I apologize for bringing this thread up. I appreciate you sharing your testimony very much.
Forgiveness brings healing.
Because you were asked tells me this is "Divine Orchestration". I see his hand in this.
You had a purpose, not only was it going to bring healing to you but to many others.
It took you to bring that change.
God bless you. If you believe in God or not he is always with you. He will never give up on you. He loves you.
you can open any thread. I don't mind.
And I'll have to say, this post --your post, helped to pull me out of some rough times here recently. I'm a lot more alone now and doing what I can to throw this water out of this sinking ship so I want to thank you for posting this, especially since I have felt that a lot of people have given up on me.click to expand
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