AQUARIUS fight with Taurus guy close friends poly sg

This topic was created in the Taurus forum by Lamee123 on Saturday, June 4, 2016 and has 6 replies.
Okay so guys. I fought with one of my close friend Taurus. I am not sure if he seems me as his close friend anyways. But yeah. On the bus we quarrelled a bit. I was tired on that day because I got scolded by one of my friend for ditching him and my mum was nagging me for returning home. This stress was doubled with exam stress but I wanna spend time with my friends so I went anyways. The taurus guy intially didn't want to come but I wanted his company so I tried my best to convince him to come. But on the bus. What he said hurted me and I was too tired to respond back till when I reach home with my mum waiting at my door and she was nagging. So my anger rekindle when I thought the Taurus guy said something about cutting ties with me. So I blocked him. On the second day. I felt guilty about my outburst so I pmed him on wa. He said I think too much but I was not convinced. At that time. I felt sad. Like really sad at the thought of him just cutting off our friendship. During my breaks. I didn't eat because the thought of him made me super Moody and sad. I was angry at myself. I always thought I was detached and I didn't even talk to him much in the first year. How did he have such an impact on me? I hide my emotions to my other friends by being angry at him but I was actually just sad. Like eveywhere I go, like cheers or toilet. I got reminded of him. I felt so embrassed. I am not gay and I am a guy who I thought was okay with just cutting relationships off. Some of my friends knew I was upset but didn't bother with me. One day he decided to go the canteen and sat in front of me. In my heart I was legit happy that maybe. Just maybe he wanted to reconcile with me. But as times goes by I dont think so.. I think..maybe he just kept the friendly act just because of appearance. I really cherish my friendship with my close cliche of 4. I went a little closer to him because his a guy so we relate more. I.. really believe that he still habour thoughts thinking I betrayed him but I didn't! If I did anything like that I don't meant it at all.I hate this floating sadness feeling. I just wish I can just treat him like an ordinary friend but I cant. He went in the back door without me even knowing. Now I can't get him out whereas he can just kick me out so easily in a few hours. I don't think he wants to be my friend anymore, or he don't see me as a close friend anymore. I came to see him from a nuisance in project grp to now my closet friend in poly.. How can I show him I really care about my friendship with him? Or if he don't want to be my friend. How can I just stop caring? It hurts to know hes just acting to be my friend because of the cliche. I don't want to care anymore if it's like this. I just want to stop feeling sad and be free. I really treasure him as a close friend but it is hurting me and I can't stop it.. I didn't know friendship hurts like a bitch. If I did I won't let people to be so close to him. I don't show emotions easily at all.
You meant to say he doesnt care anymore? If so that's just so one sided. He was the one who wanted to cut ties and he got angry I put it into words? Then why does he bother with keeping up with appearance still? Just cut and get it over with. Its better than just faking to be friends.. Sure I be sad but it hurts more to know all of that is fake..

I know about astrology and all but this is like a different matter. It all boils down to the fundenmentals of this friendship. So every time we fight he drifts away? Is that what he's saying? Aren't friendship suppose to to fortify after each fight? If not then are we really friends at all or this is just a farce of him? Is he my friend only because he was in my team last year? If not then what? Maybe it's time to put some distance to the point of me not caring. Probably better.. or I am not sure..
smh
One thing is that I value friendships more than life itself. I highly recommended that if I don't value you something is wrong an day detach without words.

Especially since I am very inviting in my circle it is fine lines though and should not tested . Taurus been through it done it again and before.
Lol. I ain't emotional. Just quite disappointed with a tinge of sadness? I guess. Maybe I take these few days to just think about what to do I guess? :/