between friendship and love...(cap&taurus)
This topic was created in the Taurus forum by comcap on Monday, January 25, 2010 and has 42 replies.
I met a taurus at an event about over a year ago. He instantly asked for my phone number and email address. then for about a year we just left each other offlines on chat, just about daily routine life. we met again in person about 3 times , in public places. I noticed after about 8 to 9 months of knowing me, he started really digging me trying know me better. He would tell me a lot about himself too. He is very open to anything I ask him and says I have permission to ask him anything i want to and he will reply honestly.
past 3.5 months we have got to where we talk to each other pretty much everyday thru chat. I sense some feelings there more than friendship and less than love.... may be slowly getting there...falling for each other...
but i cant really tell. the reason im holding back is i am still in the process of separating from my present husband. there r some personal reasons for why i am not able to speed up the separating process. plus i have other things to concentrate on like my job and studies.
on the other hand the more i tell this taurus to let me be the more he tells me he wont let me go and that he will hang around me and surprise me years from now still standing besides me and by being in touch. he is really very sweet to me but disappears or gives very indefinite answers about what he thinks about me and him. im ok if he dont want any more than a friend in me. i already know im not deserving but he has kept me hung in between....so what should i make of this?
i wrote him a letter stating how i really really like him but am not fit for his love , just so may be he will tell me one way or the other but he has not talked to me in two days now. which he usually never does unless he is busy studying or something...and he will let me know before he disappears. so i wonder , did i upset him?
by the way i am capricorn with
Moon in Aquarius
Mercury in Sagittarius
Venus in Scorpio
Mars in Capricorn
he is taurus with
Moon in Aries
Mercury in Aries
Venus in Gemini
Mars in Capricorn
i really like this guy but i dont really know him on a deeper level and i have too many other issues on hand to deal with before i can really be close to him...but he says he wants to stick around. he knows all my issues im dealing with, and is very supportive ...so does he mean to say he will stick around until im ready for him or does he mean to stick around as a friend? what do u guys on this forum gath
past 3.5 months we have got to where we talk to each other pretty much everyday thru chat. I sense some feelings there more than friendship and less than love.... may be slowly getting there...falling for each other...
but i cant really tell. the reason im holding back is i am still in the process of separating from my present husband. there r some personal reasons for why i am not able to speed up the separating process. plus i have other things to concentrate on like my job and studies.
on the other hand the more i tell this taurus to let me be the more he tells me he wont let me go and that he will hang around me and surprise me years from now still standing besides me and by being in touch. he is really very sweet to me but disappears or gives very indefinite answers about what he thinks about me and him. im ok if he dont want any more than a friend in me. i already know im not deserving but he has kept me hung in between....so what should i make of this?
i wrote him a letter stating how i really really like him but am not fit for his love , just so may be he will tell me one way or the other but he has not talked to me in two days now. which he usually never does unless he is busy studying or something...and he will let me know before he disappears. so i wonder , did i upset him?
by the way i am capricorn with
Moon in Aquarius
Mercury in Sagittarius
Venus in Scorpio
Mars in Capricorn
he is taurus with
Moon in Aries
Mercury in Aries
Venus in Gemini
Mars in Capricorn
i really like this guy but i dont really know him on a deeper level and i have too many other issues on hand to deal with before i can really be close to him...but he says he wants to stick around. he knows all my issues im dealing with, and is very supportive ...so does he mean to say he will stick around until im ready for him or does he mean to stick around as a friend? what do u guys on this forum gath
well........probably because i am a bit frustrated and also aware of the fact that we both have some major differences...im older than him, a mother with lot of baggage from my miserably failing marriage( it just never went right from day one) and he is just now on his path to a career life and single. And the fact that he still always says he is looking for a girl friend. Once he even asked me to help him talk to a girl he had just noticed in a store. But then he turns around and asks me would i like to have a bf if i werent married right now? He looks at me with really penetrating look every time i look into his eyes. stuff like that , you know...it just confuses me
If it is not meant to be i dont want to get too involved ( which seems i already am...oh well...)and be left feeling really hurt.
So i guess thats the answer to ur question...
thanks for responding!
by the way its day three now still no response from him to my mail or offlines. I left him a txt message today to which he replied in very short , ...again that dont sound like him...my email has really got him quite. i just hope i didnt hurt him.
If it is not meant to be i dont want to get too involved ( which seems i already am...oh well...)and be left feeling really hurt.
So i guess thats the answer to ur question...
thanks for responding!
by the way its day three now still no response from him to my mail or offlines. I left him a txt message today to which he replied in very short , ...again that dont sound like him...my email has really got him quite. i just hope i didnt hurt him.
Oh BellaBulleautiful , thank you for taking the time to post so much info about me and my taurus!!
I did get a huge offline from him last night. he didnt mention a word about the email i wrote him that i was so worried about. He sounded as if he never got that email...just talking about his job, his family , his new car and food...thats what he talks about usually...
He never said nothing about why he was not in contact for the past 3 days.
"we are very stubborn,and once we have made up our minds about you,or sticking around in general....it's going to happen.unless you don't want us....then we will go away in a heart beat."
BellaBulleautiful, u stole them words out of his mouth!!! he said exactly the same thing to me once, except where u say "we are" and "us"...he said "I am" and "me"....to which i said I would never push him away cuz i like him very much. And he replied saying , "then believe in me , i would never even think of hurting u and would hate to loose u."
So i am trying to believe in him, i actually cant help it... he makes me want to believe in him. but at the same time he makes comments that get me a bit confused.
I did get a huge offline from him last night. he didnt mention a word about the email i wrote him that i was so worried about. He sounded as if he never got that email...just talking about his job, his family , his new car and food...thats what he talks about usually...
He never said nothing about why he was not in contact for the past 3 days.
"we are very stubborn,and once we have made up our minds about you,or sticking around in general....it's going to happen.unless you don't want us....then we will go away in a heart beat."
BellaBulleautiful, u stole them words out of his mouth!!! he said exactly the same thing to me once, except where u say "we are" and "us"...he said "I am" and "me"....to which i said I would never push him away cuz i like him very much. And he replied saying , "then believe in me , i would never even think of hurting u and would hate to loose u."
So i am trying to believe in him, i actually cant help it... he makes me want to believe in him. but at the same time he makes comments that get me a bit confused.
about my marriage issues... its a big twist of situations that are neither in my or my husband's hands. I cant go in much detail over the world wide web but my taurus knows it all very well...he has asked me all the details and i thought he was just concerned as a friend. but i see a change in his ways ...he seems to me making slowly- slowly some very tiny advances to get closer to me. and i have in lot of ways opened up to him and talked to him of things i never have to anyone else.
our age difference is of 8yrs and we r between the age group of 20 and 30. im older but a lot of times i feel he is more mature..lol...and he too said once that when he saw me first he didnt think i was as old as my age until i told him my true age. Sorry i cant tell u our age exactly , i always worry what if he is reading these message boards..lol
yes i have noticed he has some scattered energies and can be very impatient but he dont seem to always act upon his impatience. he is just frustrated about things not getting done sooner in his life, no matter what it is. that is another reason i feel like i dont want to totally get my feeling involved with him because i am afraid he wont wait that long but then again , whenever i tell him, that im working on putting my life together once again, and hope some day i find a better person to be with, he will tell me , to go ahead and work on making my life better and i will find that person too!!... i hate to read too much in what he says but since he's so confusing i wonder if by "that person" he is implying himself??? i really dont know...
but i guess i will just hang in there and enjoy what we have now and let him know i like him...
i have never been in love before , so all of these feelings and his kind words are just too new to me. But i guess from here on i will come here and ask for help and hope u guys will help me out some.
once again thank you very much for ur response!
our age difference is of 8yrs and we r between the age group of 20 and 30. im older but a lot of times i feel he is more mature..lol...and he too said once that when he saw me first he didnt think i was as old as my age until i told him my true age. Sorry i cant tell u our age exactly , i always worry what if he is reading these message boards..lol
yes i have noticed he has some scattered energies and can be very impatient but he dont seem to always act upon his impatience. he is just frustrated about things not getting done sooner in his life, no matter what it is. that is another reason i feel like i dont want to totally get my feeling involved with him because i am afraid he wont wait that long but then again , whenever i tell him, that im working on putting my life together once again, and hope some day i find a better person to be with, he will tell me , to go ahead and work on making my life better and i will find that person too!!... i hate to read too much in what he says but since he's so confusing i wonder if by "that person" he is implying himself??? i really dont know...
but i guess i will just hang in there and enjoy what we have now and let him know i like him...
i have never been in love before , so all of these feelings and his kind words are just too new to me. But i guess from here on i will come here and ask for help and hope u guys will help me out some.
once again thank you very much for ur response!
oh by the way...can u give me a few examples of how to give him a "tangible proof of my feelings?" I am still married officially, so i always keep that in mind before i express any feelings of mine to him.
BellaBulleautiful, I have said to him how much i care for him and like him. In words and more thru my poems. I usually say it as it is. And I am going thru some tough times right now in many ways. I am grateful to find a loving friend in my taurus and his warmth(as a friend) is very soothing when i feel cold and blue. I have told him all of this.
we r young but he has been hurt before by an ex gf, of whom he still thinks about, even though the girl has moved on and got married to another guy and i have been deeply hurt by my present marriage, to the point that i thought i would never marry again, hence it seems we both feel something for each other but none of us it ready to take a risk. he shows affection and keeps backing off too at the same time... his words and actions r very misleading, even though so far our relationship is platonic.
purpledot, thank you very much for taking the time to share with me ur opinion. I must say though that i feel, if there is anyone leading the other on to more than a friendship, its definitely more of my taurus's doings than me. I am a love hungry kind of person...lol..., he is sharp and has probably figured out my weakness so for whatever reasons he does and says just exactly what i would like in a man. i dont know how he knows to do it all so well, but he does!
we r young but he has been hurt before by an ex gf, of whom he still thinks about, even though the girl has moved on and got married to another guy and i have been deeply hurt by my present marriage, to the point that i thought i would never marry again, hence it seems we both feel something for each other but none of us it ready to take a risk. he shows affection and keeps backing off too at the same time... his words and actions r very misleading, even though so far our relationship is platonic.
purpledot, thank you very much for taking the time to share with me ur opinion. I must say though that i feel, if there is anyone leading the other on to more than a friendship, its definitely more of my taurus's doings than me. I am a love hungry kind of person...lol..., he is sharp and has probably figured out my weakness so for whatever reasons he does and says just exactly what i would like in a man. i dont know how he knows to do it all so well, but he does!
i dont give hugs and he dont give hugs either but he hugs me and says since he dont give hugs to everyone i must except his hug.
he is very careful with his money but will offer to give me some if he feels im out of money.
he send me an absolutely sweet song on my bday.
talks about going on long rides/trips with me.
makes plans of years and years from now and includes me and my child in his plans.
asks me to move closer to his house and tells me that way we can spend a lot of time together.
he hates shopping but he will go shopping with me because i like shopping, he will just make excuses of shopping and try to drag me with him.
wants me to meet his family and go with him when he goes to visit his family.
even on vacations when he is out of town and is suppose to be busy with his friends and family, he will contact me somehow.
tells me im the kind of woman that every guy would like to have as a wife, including him, he also adds," dont get me wrong, im not asking u to marry me"..lol
and he penetrating glare into my eyes....! oh God...
these r just some of the examples, not all..
now u tell me whos leading on who here...
i may not be in love with him but im not far from it either (can u blame me?), only thing that holds me is my morals, i feel like a horrible woman when i think of this taurus while im still officially married.
so far i am so emotionally over loaded that even though he replied back to me yesterday.....i plan on not contacting him for a few days. i know that with get him panicked as he has already stated he is clingy and cant help but contact me some how...but i must take some time off to myself before im ready to talk to him again. sometimes i wonder, does it sound like we r both just plain "needy"???
he is very careful with his money but will offer to give me some if he feels im out of money.
he send me an absolutely sweet song on my bday.
talks about going on long rides/trips with me.
makes plans of years and years from now and includes me and my child in his plans.
asks me to move closer to his house and tells me that way we can spend a lot of time together.
he hates shopping but he will go shopping with me because i like shopping, he will just make excuses of shopping and try to drag me with him.
wants me to meet his family and go with him when he goes to visit his family.
even on vacations when he is out of town and is suppose to be busy with his friends and family, he will contact me somehow.
tells me im the kind of woman that every guy would like to have as a wife, including him, he also adds," dont get me wrong, im not asking u to marry me"..lol
and he penetrating glare into my eyes....! oh God...
these r just some of the examples, not all..
now u tell me whos leading on who here...
i may not be in love with him but im not far from it either (can u blame me?), only thing that holds me is my morals, i feel like a horrible woman when i think of this taurus while im still officially married.
so far i am so emotionally over loaded that even though he replied back to me yesterday.....i plan on not contacting him for a few days. i know that with get him panicked as he has already stated he is clingy and cant help but contact me some how...but i must take some time off to myself before im ready to talk to him again. sometimes i wonder, does it sound like we r both just plain "needy"???
BellaBulleautiful ! You must be speaking really from ur heart cuz i find ur last comment very touching !! I appreciate it...
I feel it is beautiful what i have with my taurus, even though it comes off as tad confusing at times. I guess, i am learning here that its best not to try too hard to find any definite answers right now and rather just enjoy the moment as it is. Even though I know someday I might end up feeling really hurt if he chooses to move on. His indefinite answers , like ,"time will only tell , u know", whenever i try to get a confession out of his mouth suggest that he might be interested but he dont want to promise anything.
One the other hand he tries really hard to let me know that he is being honest and feels he has to justify or promises that if there is anything he has done wrong in the past that i dont like in a man , he dont intend to do it again in his life. Which is really sweet of him. He has anger issues and he talks about it and lets me know what gets him angry and how he controls and what can calm him down.
I dont believe in intimate physical relationship before marriage and he has had those before with a few of his ex's and he admits it and tells me to not hate him for that because how he thinks and feels about me is different.
There r two more things that totally get me to dump a guy right away if i catch him doing it and he did not have to admit he has done it because I have no way to find it out , but he did admit that he has done it, is sorry and wont ever want to do it again.
He is absolutely a wonderful friend but what is this other side he shows me of his, and why he feels he has to do it, i can't understand.
I feel it is beautiful what i have with my taurus, even though it comes off as tad confusing at times. I guess, i am learning here that its best not to try too hard to find any definite answers right now and rather just enjoy the moment as it is. Even though I know someday I might end up feeling really hurt if he chooses to move on. His indefinite answers , like ,"time will only tell , u know", whenever i try to get a confession out of his mouth suggest that he might be interested but he dont want to promise anything.
One the other hand he tries really hard to let me know that he is being honest and feels he has to justify or promises that if there is anything he has done wrong in the past that i dont like in a man , he dont intend to do it again in his life. Which is really sweet of him. He has anger issues and he talks about it and lets me know what gets him angry and how he controls and what can calm him down.
I dont believe in intimate physical relationship before marriage and he has had those before with a few of his ex's and he admits it and tells me to not hate him for that because how he thinks and feels about me is different.
There r two more things that totally get me to dump a guy right away if i catch him doing it and he did not have to admit he has done it because I have no way to find it out , but he did admit that he has done it, is sorry and wont ever want to do it again.
He is absolutely a wonderful friend but what is this other side he shows me of his, and why he feels he has to do it, i can't understand.
My marriage was over long time ago, call it me just living in illusion or whatever but I really loved my husband and thought he loved me too, i still have feelings for him, and I wanted to try all options before i decided to give up.... but there seems no way to make it work. I have tried really hard to love him unconditionally but just to literally coexist under the same roof seems like hard work. The longer I tried to stay into my marriage , the more I have dug myself in a deeper hole, which i now realize is going to take a good few years to get out of. My taurus friend has no role in making me want to separate from my husband. I am a loyal person and believe a marriage is a sacred thing and meant for life. My strong feelings about marriage is what I guess has made me take so long to get the blind fold off my eyes and see the reality.
thank you for making me feel not so bad about the way i feel about my taurus. I would hate to see him move on if he gives up on waiting on me, if that is what he is doing...I really dont have a clue of what he is thinking. But he keeps telling me to better myself and that is exactly what i'm doing. I needed that push and he is doing a great job of it. he is surely a blessing if nothing else for me.
thank you for making me feel not so bad about the way i feel about my taurus. I would hate to see him move on if he gives up on waiting on me, if that is what he is doing...I really dont have a clue of what he is thinking. But he keeps telling me to better myself and that is exactly what i'm doing. I needed that push and he is doing a great job of it. he is surely a blessing if nothing else for me.
Posted by comcap
But he keeps telling me to better myself and that is exactly what i'm doing. I needed that push and he is doing a great job of it. he is surely a blessing if nothing else for me.
i skimmed through this thread. i'm new to this site but am sometimes a lil shocked by the advice. encouraging people to engage in bad behavior is so reckless.
anyhoo, get your divorce finalized. your identity for "x" years has been wrapped up in your husband and children. do you even remember what it's like to be single? do you remember those nights being all alone when there's no one to hug and lay with you? even if your marriage was tumultuous, you had a ring and a wayward commitment. a single woman has no guarantees of that. you may have wondered IF your hubby would come home, a single woman wonders if she's going to have a hubby...or boyfriend...or a cat. a single woman not only fears being alone, she is alone.
i personally don't trust people who jump from relationship to relationship. if you can't stand to be by yourself, why the hell would i want to spend extended time with you?
your chances of success in a second marriage are dramatically diminished. if you don't want to be in this position again, you need to do some soul searching and that doesn't involve some dude you've known for a brief moment.
as your taurean friend said, better yourself. focus on you. get your self-esteem, self-worth and independence back. that will take time because frankly, your posts sound sad and miserable. which they should...you're closing a major chapter in your life but seriously, before you open a new book, you might want to finish the last one...write a book report on it...edit that report a few times and THEN...after you've reflected enough on book 1, you can join the single girls book club and check out some new material.
good luck!
BellaBulleautiful, i really hope so!
and Thank you, tubbyscubby, for ur advice as well. I appreciate u taking the time to do so. I have put up my case on this board so i can get advice from ppl with different perspectives. That is how i like to learn and make my own decision about my life and relationships. Because some times with the flow of emotions i believe ur heart can mislead you.
I however, would not call the opinion/advice of other ppl who commented here as "reckless" because in the end , they do not lead my life, I do! So reckless or not, its all in the end my choice and what I choose to do with my life after going thru all the suggestions offered to me.
I am doing my best to get out of my marriage, "not" because I cant wait to get married again but because I know i need to get out of my present marriage as soon as possible for my own sanity. To get myself together again and enjoy the freedom of being single. It has not been so long since i got married so yes i do remember being single.....but do u know what it is to be married yet feel single? When u r married yet u cant get that much needed hug and get to lay with somebody when "you" want to and not because ur other half wants u to? When u cant share simple pleasures of life because ur husband dont want to be a part of it and u cant share them pleasures with some stranger, who wants to share it with you, because u are obligated to ur relationship with ur husband? I live in a grey zone. I get to enjoy neither the pleasures of a married woman or a single woman. but thats another story...and i'm working on it.
What i dont understand is why on earth should I not accept the friendly hand of somebody, while I'm dealing with my life's troubles , trying to straighten my self up. Are you suggesting I should totally not see my taurus friend because first i need to get divorced and experience being single and only then look for somebody to be with or remarry??
I dont think I ever said I was planning on marrying my taurus friend as soon as i get out of my present marriage. I only said that I was not sure where my relationship with my taurus was going... because it just seems a little more than just a friendship. I have tried to find out answers to all the questions in my head about him but being married I do not feel appropriate to do so. He can be a little complicated and I was only trying to learn more about his behaviour from other tauruses here on this forum. Did u read where I said above in one of my comments that my present marriage has got me where i dread getting married ever again?
"if you can't stand to be by yourself, why the hell would i want to spend extended time with you?"
Believe me , I did not ask anyone to spend their time with me. This taurus guy himself approached me and has been after me for months before I acknowledged him. My taurus guy knows that i have problems which got me to feel down but he also knows that even before he came into my life I have been pushing to rise above my situation and do the best I can do for myself against all odds ( i really wish I could tell u the details of my story, but i cant because i dont trust the www). That is the reason why he supports me cuz he knows im a strong woman and wont give up. but we r all human beings after all and his little push and confidence in me gives me hope and a boost that I very much need to fight thru my struggle. I dont for certain know whats on his mind regarding me , but I do know that so far I have only had a very platonic relationship with him and I'd never want to give up on that part of our relationship, just cuz i'm still married and need to first get divorced and experience the life of a single woman before i think of a second relationship.
Plz do accept my apology if I happen to misunderstand what u r trying to tell me. I respect ur opinion and do not mean to come off as rude in my comments made towards you... I just dont understand why u think the way u do...
"if you can't stand to be by yourself, why the hell would i want to spend extended time with you?"
Believe me , I did not ask anyone to spend their time with me. This taurus guy himself approached me and has been after me for months before I acknowledged him. My taurus guy knows that i have problems which got me to feel down but he also knows that even before he came into my life I have been pushing to rise above my situation and do the best I can do for myself against all odds ( i really wish I could tell u the details of my story, but i cant because i dont trust the www). That is the reason why he supports me cuz he knows im a strong woman and wont give up. but we r all human beings after all and his little push and confidence in me gives me hope and a boost that I very much need to fight thru my struggle. I dont for certain know whats on his mind regarding me , but I do know that so far I have only had a very platonic relationship with him and I'd never want to give up on that part of our relationship, just cuz i'm still married and need to first get divorced and experience the life of a single woman before i think of a second relationship.
Plz do accept my apology if I happen to misunderstand what u r trying to tell me. I respect ur opinion and do not mean to come off as rude in my comments made towards you... I just dont understand why u think the way u do...
(mis)quote from dr. phil - don't try and solve problems within your marriage by looking outside your marriage.
where your marriage is over in every since but the paperwork, you're still married. and while you're still married/separated, you owe it to yourself to make a break before you even consider the taurean/anyone. you owe it to him as well.
where you're trying to pose this as a "friendship" issue, it's not. you can try to fool yourself on that but hey, the written word will betray...you will soon see. if the taurus were a woman, would you have posted? would you be asking about whether or not to proceed in the "friendship" if it were a she instead of a he? no. why? becuz what rational person shuns friendship? but this is more than a friendship dilemma isn't it?
so does he mean to say he will stick around until im ready for him or does he mean to stick around as a friend?
what do you care? you have bigger issues on your plate. focus on those because whatever possible relationship you have is doomed to fail otherwise. hell, you said you're not even sure you want to get married which means, you have yet to resolve your baggage. do you really want to carry all that crap your husband put you through into a new situation?
If it is not meant to be i dont want to get too involved ( which seems i already am...oh well...)and be left feeling really hurt.
oh, so it's not about maintaining his friendship? it's about your fear of getting involved and being hurt again? baggage.
So i am trying to believe in him, i actually cant help it... he makes me want to believe in him.
believe what? that he's going to be your friend or your lover?
that is another reason i feel like i dont want to totally get my feeling involved with him because i am afraid he wont wait that long but then again , whenever i tell him, that im working on putting my life together once again, and hope some day i find a better person to be with, he will tell me , to go ahead and work on making my life better and i will find that person too!!... i hate to read too much in what he says but since he's so confusing i wonder if by "that person" he is implying himself??? i really dont know...click to expand
put your life together FIRST then find out. that's what he's saying. once you get it together, who knows, you might not even want him.
i'm a realist and where some people would pat you on the back, i think your taurus is kinda looking at things the way i am.
i'm sure you're a wonderful person, with a wonderful heart. i'm sure he looks at you and says, wow, i want to get to know her better. i want to spend some time with her beyond the guise of friendship. but he's also practical. he looks your mess of a situation and the caring side of him, the one that appreciates who you are as human being and believes in you is there to support you...is there to be a FRIEND first.
now if YOU CHOOSE to succumb and allow yourself to drift into more than a friendship with him, he might be up for that. he might welcome it. you two might have a good time together but ask yourself a very simple question...are you whole? did you unpack the baggage you're carrying or did you carry it forward? did you do what you claim you aim to do and that's get yourself situated...get yourself figured out...redefine who you are as a woman rather than a wife...an ex-wife and mother? WHO ARE YOU? what do you bring to the table? right now, nothing but baggage. be real with yourself and own that reality.
once you own it, you'll realize how pointless it all is. you may indeed lose him while you're soul searching but i'm of the belief that if it's meant to be, it will be.
your better judgment is telling you to keep platonic...so is his. your better judgments are right.
if you can't be his friend without hoping for more, you need to take a break and remember happiness resides and lies in you. he can't make you happy. he can be a part of your happiness and right now, you don't sound too happy.
i'm sure you're a wonderful person, with a wonderful heart. i'm sure he looks at you and says, wow, i want to get to know her better. i want to spend some time with her beyond the guise of friendship. but he's also practical. he looks your mess of a situation and the caring side of him, the one that appreciates who you are as human being and believes in you is there to support you...is there to be a FRIEND first.
now if YOU CHOOSE to succumb and allow yourself to drift into more than a friendship with him, he might be up for that. he might welcome it. you two might have a good time together but ask yourself a very simple question...are you whole? did you unpack the baggage you're carrying or did you carry it forward? did you do what you claim you aim to do and that's get yourself situated...get yourself figured out...redefine who you are as a woman rather than a wife...an ex-wife and mother? WHO ARE YOU? what do you bring to the table? right now, nothing but baggage. be real with yourself and own that reality.
once you own it, you'll realize how pointless it all is. you may indeed lose him while you're soul searching but i'm of the belief that if it's meant to be, it will be.
your better judgment is telling you to keep platonic...so is his. your better judgments are right.
if you can't be his friend without hoping for more, you need to take a break and remember happiness resides and lies in you. he can't make you happy. he can be a part of your happiness and right now, you don't sound too happy.
WOW! thats a lot of food for thought put for me up here regarding my very innocent budding relationship with my taurus friend. I feel may be u guys are reading too much into what i have expressed above about my feelings for him?? I'm OK with it though... it definitely helps to see things from different perspectives. For the record , I am definitely not rushing into my relationship with the taurus. And more so after I exchanged a few thoughts with BellaBulleautiful. As it is I'm a very slow person and so is he, i'm hurt right now from my present relationship with my husband, so is he from his recent ex gf. We talk about it like adults , we share our doubts and feelings and try to learn a thing or two of where things went wrong and how we can work on ourselves. As i have said above , i am enjoying my moments with my taurus friend for right now as simply "friends"...nothing more , nothing less.
I have thought over every word put up here by you (tubbyscubby & purpledot) and I would like to reply to it. More because it will help me understand myself better of where i stand.
tubbyscubby, im not trying to use the taurus friend to solve my problems of marriage...be it within or outside. What makes u think I am?? My marriage is an entire different issue. I have been dealing with it for a few years now. But I'm not the kind that gives in or out of a relationship just because a few things dont work my way or because i feel the grass is greener elsewhere. I try my very best to work things but I have learned a relationship can not work one sided, specially marriage! It not only effects the husband and wife but the kids too. I want out Because firstly my husband dont need me, I cant live where i'm not needed or respected and most importantly , my kid is going thru all the stress that is very much there in my married life. The only reason we are still together is due to the kid, Because if we were to separate right away, he would loose his rights with our kid (its a complicated legal issue, i cant go in details) I could be mean and let him deal with it. But I dont want to do it that way, whatever is my issue with my husband I want the kid to be able to enjoy the presence of father in her life. Therefore its gonna take time for my case to solve with her daddy. But in the mean time I have been working on myself (not because the taurus wants me to!) bettering my education and job skills so when i'm on my own I can take good care of myself, without or without a man.
I have thought over every word put up here by you (tubbyscubby & purpledot) and I would like to reply to it. More because it will help me understand myself better of where i stand.
tubbyscubby, im not trying to use the taurus friend to solve my problems of marriage...be it within or outside. What makes u think I am?? My marriage is an entire different issue. I have been dealing with it for a few years now. But I'm not the kind that gives in or out of a relationship just because a few things dont work my way or because i feel the grass is greener elsewhere. I try my very best to work things but I have learned a relationship can not work one sided, specially marriage! It not only effects the husband and wife but the kids too. I want out Because firstly my husband dont need me, I cant live where i'm not needed or respected and most importantly , my kid is going thru all the stress that is very much there in my married life. The only reason we are still together is due to the kid, Because if we were to separate right away, he would loose his rights with our kid (its a complicated legal issue, i cant go in details) I could be mean and let him deal with it. But I dont want to do it that way, whatever is my issue with my husband I want the kid to be able to enjoy the presence of father in her life. Therefore its gonna take time for my case to solve with her daddy. But in the mean time I have been working on myself (not because the taurus wants me to!) bettering my education and job skills so when i'm on my own I can take good care of myself, without or without a man.
The reason I even thought of considering the taurus as any more than a friend is because after my numerous attempts of pushing him away he kept coming back to me. I started talking to him and opening up to him recently, he has been around trying to get me to acknowledge his presence since about a year. I'm only human, going thru some hard times and his presence is like a little comfort zone which I dont want to loose. Even though a good big part of me knows that this relationship probably has no future. I love him beyond my own self and want the best for him, I feel im not it. Even if he stayed as a friend only and got married someday, knowing the kind of person he is, im sure he wouldnt come around and stay in contact that much. I have said all of this to him in clear words but he dont want to consider any of it. he just keeps promising that he is here to stay with me forever. As a friend or a lover??? he wont tell me that...He is the one thats so confusing, so i'm only curious to know what exactly is he thinking.
im not trying to pose my relationship with him as a "friendship issue" , neither am i in denial that i feel something more than a friend in him...as the header of my topic says...I feel its something "between friendship and love" ....im still trying to figure it out. Definitely would not even give it a second thought if "he" were a "she"....that would freak me out! LOL...because his actions are very expressive of pure compassion and love like a man would have for a woman... but he dont want to admit it or may be he's unsure... or may be it is what BellaBulleautiful said above, "when two people fit together and know it, it's a powerful thing.sometimes it happens out of the blue,when you least expect it and sometimes it's inconvenient or not the right time."
im not trying to pose my relationship with him as a "friendship issue" , neither am i in denial that i feel something more than a friend in him...as the header of my topic says...I feel its something "between friendship and love" ....im still trying to figure it out. Definitely would not even give it a second thought if "he" were a "she"....that would freak me out! LOL...because his actions are very expressive of pure compassion and love like a man would have for a woman... but he dont want to admit it or may be he's unsure... or may be it is what BellaBulleautiful said above, "when two people fit together and know it, it's a powerful thing.sometimes it happens out of the blue,when you least expect it and sometimes it's inconvenient or not the right time."
why i care for him to be around when im done thru dealing with the crap of my present marriage?
u tell me, no matter how strong of a woman one is and however strong hearted one is and how busy one is figuring out all the issues of their life....would ur heart not melt when someone constantly pushes u to notice how much they care for u... or love you and want to see u succeed? when u r trying to walk and all kind of hurdles trip u over would u not appreciate a hand that would play a small role in helping u rise up one more time? im talking about a friendly hand here. that is what the taurus does for me, yes I know, i should know to do it all myself without expecting any help , which is what i was doing all this while before i met the taurus and if the taurus were to walk out of my life right now , i would still keep on doing what i have been doing , which is to work on my self first. But it does not hurt when i try to say little prayers for him and send him little help thru friends so he can study and concentrate on his goals while he talks to me and prays for me and look forward to see my succeed in my goals. It's fun to and encouraging if nothing else to make a note to each other as we take our baby steps to better ourselves for our individual futures. Why would I deny that or try to shun it?? enlighten me here someone plz... who likes to see some that loves them to not be around when they r ready once and for all to actually spend time together?
"oh, so it's not about maintaining his friendship? it's about your fear of getting involved and being hurt again? baggage."
how it that baggage? thats a fear anyone could have before getting involved in any relationship. My taurus has the same fears. im very vulnerable. and i dont like to jump into relationship just because it feels good at this moment. If were the kind of person that jumped into relationships , this topic about me and my taurus wouldnt be here. before i head into any further deeper feelings for him i want to make sure what is going on here between me and him.
when I said I want to believe in him i was talking about believing in "the words" he spoke to me. he said ,"then believe in me , i would never even think of hurting u and would hate to loose u." As a 'lover' or 'friend' u ask? i dont know, thats the answer i'm searching for myself.
u tell me, no matter how strong of a woman one is and however strong hearted one is and how busy one is figuring out all the issues of their life....would ur heart not melt when someone constantly pushes u to notice how much they care for u... or love you and want to see u succeed? when u r trying to walk and all kind of hurdles trip u over would u not appreciate a hand that would play a small role in helping u rise up one more time? im talking about a friendly hand here. that is what the taurus does for me, yes I know, i should know to do it all myself without expecting any help , which is what i was doing all this while before i met the taurus and if the taurus were to walk out of my life right now , i would still keep on doing what i have been doing , which is to work on my self first. But it does not hurt when i try to say little prayers for him and send him little help thru friends so he can study and concentrate on his goals while he talks to me and prays for me and look forward to see my succeed in my goals. It's fun to and encouraging if nothing else to make a note to each other as we take our baby steps to better ourselves for our individual futures. Why would I deny that or try to shun it?? enlighten me here someone plz... who likes to see some that loves them to not be around when they r ready once and for all to actually spend time together?
"oh, so it's not about maintaining his friendship? it's about your fear of getting involved and being hurt again? baggage."
how it that baggage? thats a fear anyone could have before getting involved in any relationship. My taurus has the same fears. im very vulnerable. and i dont like to jump into relationship just because it feels good at this moment. If were the kind of person that jumped into relationships , this topic about me and my taurus wouldnt be here. before i head into any further deeper feelings for him i want to make sure what is going on here between me and him.
when I said I want to believe in him i was talking about believing in "the words" he spoke to me. he said ,"then believe in me , i would never even think of hurting u and would hate to loose u." As a 'lover' or 'friend' u ask? i dont know, thats the answer i'm searching for myself.
"once you get it together, who knows, you might not even want him."
lol...i agree with u there, he said the same thing once. when i told him he dont need to be around me because the way I see it , i have a lot to worry about and figure out before i can make any commitment to anyone besides myself. As im a love hungry person, i just may get too use to him being around but one of these days when he has to go on with his life I would hate to not have him around. to which he said, he was waiting to see me come out of all the problems i have and carry a confident head on my shoulders and who knows once i realize how good i can be i might not want him around anymore myself.
only time will tell i guess... though i have lots of questions in my head right now, im no more really looking for any answers regarding the future of me and my taurus... im just going with the flow and working on myself. somethings r just good as they r without trying to fool around too much with them.
purpledot, i will keep what u said about rebound relationships in mind. as i stated before i am not here waiting for the day i can get divorced so the next day i can exchange rings with my taurus. Heck, i dont even know if thats what he wants, but I know i for sure am not looking forward to get married or have any physical relationships instantly with someone as soon as i get out of my present marriage. I want to one more time be single and concentrate on me and my single life. figure out what I want and need to look forward to before i take the leap and make the same mistakes again. sometimes i feel i could use some psychological therapy sessions once I get divorced to clear all the crud from my present marriage and to learn to see things in a new light and start a fresh...
i said im love hungry, not a love hunter, i do not go out looking for it and neither do i make believe that someone loves me. if that were the case i would be head over heels in love with my taurus right now... hes that good to me and his actions are very loving towards me! but i do not want to be confused or assume nothing... until he says so, no matter how or what i feel, its not really LOVE to me, unless he says so, and still i would have to rethink a few times before i know thats what it is . it took him some 'good time' to even make me believe that he is here because he likes me a little bit.
lol...i agree with u there, he said the same thing once. when i told him he dont need to be around me because the way I see it , i have a lot to worry about and figure out before i can make any commitment to anyone besides myself. As im a love hungry person, i just may get too use to him being around but one of these days when he has to go on with his life I would hate to not have him around. to which he said, he was waiting to see me come out of all the problems i have and carry a confident head on my shoulders and who knows once i realize how good i can be i might not want him around anymore myself.
only time will tell i guess... though i have lots of questions in my head right now, im no more really looking for any answers regarding the future of me and my taurus... im just going with the flow and working on myself. somethings r just good as they r without trying to fool around too much with them.
purpledot, i will keep what u said about rebound relationships in mind. as i stated before i am not here waiting for the day i can get divorced so the next day i can exchange rings with my taurus. Heck, i dont even know if thats what he wants, but I know i for sure am not looking forward to get married or have any physical relationships instantly with someone as soon as i get out of my present marriage. I want to one more time be single and concentrate on me and my single life. figure out what I want and need to look forward to before i take the leap and make the same mistakes again. sometimes i feel i could use some psychological therapy sessions once I get divorced to clear all the crud from my present marriage and to learn to see things in a new light and start a fresh...
i said im love hungry, not a love hunter, i do not go out looking for it and neither do i make believe that someone loves me. if that were the case i would be head over heels in love with my taurus right now... hes that good to me and his actions are very loving towards me! but i do not want to be confused or assume nothing... until he says so, no matter how or what i feel, its not really LOVE to me, unless he says so, and still i would have to rethink a few times before i know thats what it is . it took him some 'good time' to even make me believe that he is here because he likes me a little bit.
compcap,
statistically, there's a high probability your next union won't last. if you want to increase that probability, you'd understand why i'm stressing the fact that you need to work on you. you need to make a clean break from your husband. and if taurus is around thereafter, move forward healthy and happy.
maybe i'm crazy but a general rule of thumb is, if you're married, you don't get to have lovers. if that's an odd concept, then maybe that's why people who get divorced and remarry get divorced at higher and higher rates with each and every union.
are you doomed to a life of divorce? i dunno but maybe this isn't a time where you should be listening to your heart. what's your head telling you?
to the question of will he wait? no. he's your friend. if you wanted more, he might be open to it but YOU shouldn't be. you're married. like it or not...sham of a marriage or not...you're married.
now if it were me, if i met a man who was married and liked him lots, if i made the foolish mistake of getting involved with him, even if he subsequently divorced, what he will have taught me is that his vows mean nothing. because sham of a marriage or not, he didn't respect the union at a time when it didn't suit him. and if he did it to her, statistically and rationally, he could do it to me. "once a cheater, always a cheater."
if that basic concept works for married men, it works for you too.
The divorce rate in America for first marriage, vs second or third marriage
50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce, according to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri.??
According to enrichment journal on the divorce rate in America:
The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%
The divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60%
The divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73%
source: http://www.divorcerate.org/
statistically, there's a high probability your next union won't last. if you want to increase that probability, you'd understand why i'm stressing the fact that you need to work on you. you need to make a clean break from your husband. and if taurus is around thereafter, move forward healthy and happy.
maybe i'm crazy but a general rule of thumb is, if you're married, you don't get to have lovers. if that's an odd concept, then maybe that's why people who get divorced and remarry get divorced at higher and higher rates with each and every union.
are you doomed to a life of divorce? i dunno but maybe this isn't a time where you should be listening to your heart. what's your head telling you?
to the question of will he wait? no. he's your friend. if you wanted more, he might be open to it but YOU shouldn't be. you're married. like it or not...sham of a marriage or not...you're married.
now if it were me, if i met a man who was married and liked him lots, if i made the foolish mistake of getting involved with him, even if he subsequently divorced, what he will have taught me is that his vows mean nothing. because sham of a marriage or not, he didn't respect the union at a time when it didn't suit him. and if he did it to her, statistically and rationally, he could do it to me. "once a cheater, always a cheater."
if that basic concept works for married men, it works for you too.
purpledot, i am not at all offended by ur comments, I am glad u took the time to once again come on my topic and state ur opinion.
As for ur last two questions, yes for right now i want him as a friend ONLY.... it cant be nothing more than that. if he were to insist on anymore than that, i would have to cut all contacts with him. Because right now i'm not ready for anything more than a friendship.
I am trying to understand his words and actions out of mere curiosity. I dont know what to make of a guy that will contact me everyday by hook or by crook. talk to me so lovingly, open up to me and let me know all his faults and try so hard to spend quality time with me and do little things for me and be so eager to see me succeed in my struggle. include me in all the plans of his life of present and future and share my presence in his life with his family. respect me and my desire to not be touched or have any physical contact (except hugs) when i know he has his "needs". it just makes me curious thats all... if its love , i cant believe how unlucky i am to have it at this point in time when i cant even accept it , but to know i have it is a great feeling in it self. Im an artist , I cant help the flood of emotions i go thru.... if nothing else it helps create art that comes out from the deep cores of my heart, my feelings and my pain.........
As for ur last two questions, yes for right now i want him as a friend ONLY.... it cant be nothing more than that. if he were to insist on anymore than that, i would have to cut all contacts with him. Because right now i'm not ready for anything more than a friendship.
I am trying to understand his words and actions out of mere curiosity. I dont know what to make of a guy that will contact me everyday by hook or by crook. talk to me so lovingly, open up to me and let me know all his faults and try so hard to spend quality time with me and do little things for me and be so eager to see me succeed in my struggle. include me in all the plans of his life of present and future and share my presence in his life with his family. respect me and my desire to not be touched or have any physical contact (except hugs) when i know he has his "needs". it just makes me curious thats all... if its love , i cant believe how unlucky i am to have it at this point in time when i cant even accept it , but to know i have it is a great feeling in it self. Im an artist , I cant help the flood of emotions i go thru.... if nothing else it helps create art that comes out from the deep cores of my heart, my feelings and my pain.........
"now if YOU CHOOSE to succumb and allow yourself to drift into more than a friendship with him, he might be up for that."
tubbyscubby, that ^^^ is exactly where i fail to understand u , why do u draw conclusions just out of my curiosity? I am not drifting, i dont plan to anytime neither will he allow me too...because he wont even tell me what he is thinking. And would u understand my definition of love if i said i already LOVE him enough to walk away from his life if i felt my presence in his life was going to bring him nothing but bad times. I already love him that much. But at the end of it all which is my divorce , my single life , my putting myself together and all that i need to do to better for myself , if i still see him waiting for me than i would not think twice about being with him. And that is why i question over and over if he will be there because its going to be a long wait. I know i shouldnt think of it at this moment , but i do... i cant help it. however reacting on my thoughts is not what im up for. there fore i put this topic up to learn about this taurus, are they sweet talkers, r they cheaters , are they just too good of a friend that might make u think they actually love u.....is he just a plain flirt or just bored?..lol.. i am here just to learn that.... im certainly not drifting...
"your better judgment is telling you to keep platonic...so is his. your better judgments are right"
mine is!! dont know about his... hes a guy, he'd probably go for more if i allow him to but will i ? definitely NOT! not until im sure and ready for it ... just like u all want me to...
if i dont sound too happy right now, its due to all the other stuff in my life, i'd hate to even wish a day of my life on anyone...but a friend like my taurus, sure i wish u could all have one...
sorry for soo many posts from me, i needed to do this for my own good and the winter storm outside is a good excuse to do some soul searching and analyzing just like u all would like me to do. just dont hate me for being a friend to my taurus.
and yes thank you so very much for coming back on my topic and elaborating ur earlier comments. i know its a lot to read but if u feel like stating ur opinion on my comments im all ears for it! why dont anyone tell me why my taurus is acting the way he is? is it typical of a taurus??
tubbyscubby, that ^^^ is exactly where i fail to understand u , why do u draw conclusions just out of my curiosity? I am not drifting, i dont plan to anytime neither will he allow me too...because he wont even tell me what he is thinking. And would u understand my definition of love if i said i already LOVE him enough to walk away from his life if i felt my presence in his life was going to bring him nothing but bad times. I already love him that much. But at the end of it all which is my divorce , my single life , my putting myself together and all that i need to do to better for myself , if i still see him waiting for me than i would not think twice about being with him. And that is why i question over and over if he will be there because its going to be a long wait. I know i shouldnt think of it at this moment , but i do... i cant help it. however reacting on my thoughts is not what im up for. there fore i put this topic up to learn about this taurus, are they sweet talkers, r they cheaters , are they just too good of a friend that might make u think they actually love u.....is he just a plain flirt or just bored?..lol.. i am here just to learn that.... im certainly not drifting...
"your better judgment is telling you to keep platonic...so is his. your better judgments are right"
mine is!! dont know about his... hes a guy, he'd probably go for more if i allow him to but will i ? definitely NOT! not until im sure and ready for it ... just like u all want me to...
if i dont sound too happy right now, its due to all the other stuff in my life, i'd hate to even wish a day of my life on anyone...but a friend like my taurus, sure i wish u could all have one...
sorry for soo many posts from me, i needed to do this for my own good and the winter storm outside is a good excuse to do some soul searching and analyzing just like u all would like me to do. just dont hate me for being a friend to my taurus.
and yes thank you so very much for coming back on my topic and elaborating ur earlier comments. i know its a lot to read but if u feel like stating ur opinion on my comments im all ears for it! why dont anyone tell me why my taurus is acting the way he is? is it typical of a taurus??
i dunno about taurus men. i'm a taurean woman so....
are they sweet talkers
yeah, we can charm the pants...skirt off ya in your case. i find that the more passive someone is, the more enticing they are. passive aggressive men are sexy to me and where i'd normally be shy and reserved, someone that i have to work a lil at will make me far more aggressive/flirtatious.
r they cheaters
typically no. when we set our sights on a target, we hyper focus on it to the exclusion of all others...and rationality. we're more likely to stay in a horrible situation than get out. so once he's in, it'll take him a while to change course...but that's once he's in love/lust. HOWEVER, we are pretty primal and under the wrong circumstances can fall victim to a warm body which is why we typically try to make sure we're only around one warm body at a time...one specific one.
are they just too good of a friend that might make u think they actually love u
dunno. i have an aries moon so a bit of a sadistic streak (no offense to aries). i consider myself an excellent friend and have a VERY difficult time letting down someone that i genuinely care about. so if i know that someone is interested in me, where i could just come right out and say it, i may send mixed signals...unintentionally. i really want the person to stop but i find it difficult to say clearly, i want to be your friend, i will NEVER be your lover. and yes, i have a few guys in my past who claim they still love me and where i believe that they believe that, i have no clue where they got those emotions from. most of them are leos and one scorp so chances are, nowhere.
is he just a plain flirt or just bored?
maybe, yes, no...i dunno. i'd say that he genuinely enjoys being around you otherwise he wouldn't be there. i once dated a dude who was sweet as pie but i thought he was lame and told him so. seriously...i turned to him and told him that he's the lamest guy i ever met and that he might want to work on this/that because no woman deserves to go through what i just endured. and yes, i shocked myself when it came out of my mouth but it just needed to be said. i feel i did woman-kind a favor. so if he hasn't said that to you, he's not bored
are they sweet talkers
yeah, we can charm the pants...skirt off ya in your case. i find that the more passive someone is, the more enticing they are. passive aggressive men are sexy to me and where i'd normally be shy and reserved, someone that i have to work a lil at will make me far more aggressive/flirtatious.
r they cheaters
typically no. when we set our sights on a target, we hyper focus on it to the exclusion of all others...and rationality. we're more likely to stay in a horrible situation than get out. so once he's in, it'll take him a while to change course...but that's once he's in love/lust. HOWEVER, we are pretty primal and under the wrong circumstances can fall victim to a warm body which is why we typically try to make sure we're only around one warm body at a time...one specific one.
are they just too good of a friend that might make u think they actually love u
dunno. i have an aries moon so a bit of a sadistic streak (no offense to aries). i consider myself an excellent friend and have a VERY difficult time letting down someone that i genuinely care about. so if i know that someone is interested in me, where i could just come right out and say it, i may send mixed signals...unintentionally. i really want the person to stop but i find it difficult to say clearly, i want to be your friend, i will NEVER be your lover. and yes, i have a few guys in my past who claim they still love me and where i believe that they believe that, i have no clue where they got those emotions from. most of them are leos and one scorp so chances are, nowhere.
is he just a plain flirt or just bored?
maybe, yes, no...i dunno. i'd say that he genuinely enjoys being around you otherwise he wouldn't be there. i once dated a dude who was sweet as pie but i thought he was lame and told him so. seriously...i turned to him and told him that he's the lamest guy i ever met and that he might want to work on this/that because no woman deserves to go through what i just endured. and yes, i shocked myself when it came out of my mouth but it just needed to be said. i feel i did woman-kind a favor. so if he hasn't said that to you, he's not bored
tubbyscubby, did u just call me a cheater? 
just because i had a thought that my taurus just might be trying to be a little more than a friend???
Did u know even though he tries to, i have met him only 3 times in that past 13-14 months of knowing him, in public places with no touching involved except very casual hugs? And my friendship with him is no secret. My husband knows of it, even though he dont care i always take his permission whenever i go out with the taurus, because i feel as his wife i must let him know which other guys i hang around with... i never make friends with girls, all my friends are guys and none of them r a secret from my husband. this taurus however acts different, which made me think he was onto something yet too confusing to figure out. Never in my wildest dreams would i have a "lover" while im still married to someone else. never...
just because i had a thought that my taurus just might be trying to be a little more than a friend??? Did u know even though he tries to, i have met him only 3 times in that past 13-14 months of knowing him, in public places with no touching involved except very casual hugs? And my friendship with him is no secret. My husband knows of it, even though he dont care i always take his permission whenever i go out with the taurus, because i feel as his wife i must let him know which other guys i hang around with... i never make friends with girls, all my friends are guys and none of them r a secret from my husband. this taurus however acts different, which made me think he was onto something yet too confusing to figure out. Never in my wildest dreams would i have a "lover" while im still married to someone else. never...
i'm full of it and you're married worried about what a guy who is 10 years younger than you is thinking and if he's going to wait around. i have done my best to over-explicate my responses and at the end of the day....
What we have heah......is a failya...to communicate!
What we have heah......is a failya...to communicate!
went to close the window and realized it was bella who made those baseless assertions and therefore my snappiness was misdirected. to bella, one doesn't have to be self-righteous to think cheating is wrong but hey, you would try to encourage a woman in a bad situation to make it even worse so i think that's all that need be said here.
and as far as comcap...no dear, i do not think you are cheater. i do however think that if you, in a moment of weakness or decisiveness sleep with the youngin, you will be one. i'd hate to see you put yourself in that situation but according to bella, "follow your heart"...off of a cliff.
and to that i bid you adieu
and as far as comcap...no dear, i do not think you are cheater. i do however think that if you, in a moment of weakness or decisiveness sleep with the youngin, you will be one. i'd hate to see you put yourself in that situation but according to bella, "follow your heart"...off of a cliff.
and to that i bid you adieu
you ever heard of consolidating your posts to one message or do you just like looking at yourself repeatedly.
you know, i want to play multiple posts tag too...
Proverbs 23:7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee.
took me forever to remember that quote...probably cause i'm half-heathen but i'm digressing...
you know what i find funny, if this were it a man who started to this thread, i guarantee that the majority of posts from women would be that he either need to finalize the divorce first or work it with his wife.
after all, the idea of a man with a child leaving his wife at-home to meet up with some hot pants 20-something to "talk" about his feelings doesn't go over to well with most women. seriously...imagine your bf/husband justifying hanging out with someone 10 years his younger by saying "she understands me." bad marriage/relationship or not, what woman wouldn't be hot about it?
but hey, when the roles are reversed....
Proverbs 23:7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee.
took me forever to remember that quote...probably cause i'm half-heathen but i'm digressing...
you know what i find funny, if this were it a man who started to this thread, i guarantee that the majority of posts from women would be that he either need to finalize the divorce first or work it with his wife.
after all, the idea of a man with a child leaving his wife at-home to meet up with some hot pants 20-something to "talk" about his feelings doesn't go over to well with most women. seriously...imagine your bf/husband justifying hanging out with someone 10 years his younger by saying "she understands me." bad marriage/relationship or not, what woman wouldn't be hot about it?
but hey, when the roles are reversed....
I believe in love and I believe that when two people fit together and know it, it's a powerful thing.sometimes it happens out of the blue,when you least expect it and sometimes it's inconvenient or not the right time.I of course don't know the details of your marriage but if you truly know it's over and there is no fixing things then you are only human to look to the future if you have feelings for someone.
so from now on, any guy that wants to step out on his girl/wife, just say it's cause you fit together and that fit was so powerful because you're only human
gobbledy gook! totally different approach would've been taken if she were a man but if you want to live in la-la land, oooo-k.
as far as your being a pisces and you're worrying about my chart...Whaaaaaaaat?
you know, you're right. when your marriage is bad the only thing you can do to make you happy is find someone else to make you feel better until you can divorce the a-hole who fathered your child (which seems to have totally been ignored in all of this but hey, i think...i don't feel).
if you really cared about her situation, you wouldn't be advising her to compound her drama. i agree that she needs to focus on things that make her feel good. here are a few possible solutions....
join a gym
join a support group
talk with your pastor/priest
reconnect with your girlfriends
take an empowerment course
take a self defense course
get counseling
learn...to...knit
DO SOMETHING FUN WITH YOUR CHILD
GET MORE INVOLVED IN YOUR CHILD'S EXTRA-CURRICULAR ACTIVITIES
take a class at the community center/go to college
visit a senior citizens home
volunteer at an animal shelter
have a massage/pedicure/manicure
create a garden
buy a bike...and use it
point is Bulle, if you were actually offering some advice that were to help her, you'd realize that there are a million and one things that could make her happy. and when you have a husband and a child, by default, that shouldn't be another man. but again, this is sorta why the divorce rate is what it is and it's also why it's hard to get mad at men who cheat because there apparently are women out there who justify it when it suits them.
emotional infidelity may not result in copulation but for some of us, it's pretty much the same thing.
---
if it makes you happyyyyyyy, then why are you so saaaaaa-ee-aad? fix you first, worry about the man later. replace him with something that betters you...like, learning to salsa...anything.
as far as your being a pisces and you're worrying about my chart...Whaaaaaaaat?
I have been at the end of a marriage and understand that when there is no hope of fixing things all you have is what is ahead of you.you have to find some good to focus on to get you through the bad,because sometimes the bad is very bad.
you know, you're right. when your marriage is bad the only thing you can do to make you happy is find someone else to make you feel better until you can divorce the a-hole who fathered your child (which seems to have totally been ignored in all of this but hey, i think...i don't feel).
if you really cared about her situation, you wouldn't be advising her to compound her drama. i agree that she needs to focus on things that make her feel good. here are a few possible solutions....
join a gym
join a support group
talk with your pastor/priest
reconnect with your girlfriends
take an empowerment course
take a self defense course
get counseling
learn...to...knit
DO SOMETHING FUN WITH YOUR CHILD
GET MORE INVOLVED IN YOUR CHILD'S EXTRA-CURRICULAR ACTIVITIES
take a class at the community center/go to college
visit a senior citizens home
volunteer at an animal shelter
have a massage/pedicure/manicure
create a garden
buy a bike...and use it
point is Bulle, if you were actually offering some advice that were to help her, you'd realize that there are a million and one things that could make her happy. and when you have a husband and a child, by default, that shouldn't be another man. but again, this is sorta why the divorce rate is what it is and it's also why it's hard to get mad at men who cheat because there apparently are women out there who justify it when it suits them.
emotional infidelity may not result in copulation but for some of us, it's pretty much the same thing.
---
if it makes you happyyyyyyy, then why are you so saaaaaa-ee-aad? fix you first, worry about the man later. replace him with something that betters you...like, learning to salsa...anything.
and for consistency's sake, i must post one more response so i shall respond to this whole riding a horse thing while delivering mail or whatever....
you're worried about my tone? get over yourself!
here's a woman who's in a mess of a situation, a situation that you yourself have been in, and instead of encouraging her to make it about her...about her bettering herself so that she can be a strong and independent woman which will ultimately better for herself and her CHILD, you advocate her her friendship with a child.
i wonder if he'd make a good father or is it more about the fact that he's a great conversationalist? oh...i say talk your pastor. chances are, he's a man too and probably won't want to sleep with you. but hey, there i go again riding ponies and what not.
truth be told, i do look pretty darn good in riding boots
you're worried about my tone? get over yourself!
here's a woman who's in a mess of a situation, a situation that you yourself have been in, and instead of encouraging her to make it about her...about her bettering herself so that she can be a strong and independent woman which will ultimately better for herself and her CHILD, you advocate her her friendship with a child.
i wonder if he'd make a good father or is it more about the fact that he's a great conversationalist? oh...i say talk your pastor. chances are, he's a man too and probably won't want to sleep with you. but hey, there i go again riding ponies and what not.
truth be told, i do look pretty darn good in riding boots
she came here asking advice on the taurus.the rest is not my place to judge nor advise
i guess you figure that advice and advise are diametrically opposed so you will advise her...oh wait, offer advice on the man who happens to be a taurus...which requires that you judge him, her and their situation but wait...you don't judge or advise....
uhm..........
my horse is in the stable, brb
Posted by BellaBulleautiful
it's not just this thread honey....you did a fine job with the scorpio too.while you're quoting the bible,you might want to look up judging others.
FOUND MY HORSE!
i agree sweetie, it's not just this thread. it's that thread which caused me to join for you've been giving ridiculous advice....wait, advising ridiculously...wait, which is it you don't do?
horses don't have engines silly. sheesh, gotta teach you everything 
tauruswoman,
my horse ate all the sugar cubes so he and i have been eating sour apples
i don't have anything against bella so not sure where you're getting that from as i'm not the one throwing around personal judgments. at the end of the day i don't allow people on the internets to phase me and ultimately, i'd rather be caustic and correct than flowery and foolish.
---
EXTREME EXAMPLE if a guy got on and said he was 28 and wanted to date a 16 y/o taurus that he was REALLY into, would you give him advice/advise
on how to attract a taurus or would you object? assume you object and explain why dating a 16 y/o at his age is a bad idea.
what if he came back and said, it's legal to date 16 y/o in his state. would you say, "ok, here's how to attract a taurus...?" would you talk about how he has to be true to his heart?
---
wait...
my horse ate all the sugar cubes so he and i have been eating sour apples
i don't have anything against bella so not sure where you're getting that from as i'm not the one throwing around personal judgments. at the end of the day i don't allow people on the internets to phase me and ultimately, i'd rather be caustic and correct than flowery and foolish.
---
EXTREME EXAMPLE if a guy got on and said he was 28 and wanted to date a 16 y/o taurus that he was REALLY into, would you give him advice/advise
on how to attract a taurus or would you object? assume you object and explain why dating a 16 y/o at his age is a bad idea.what if he came back and said, it's legal to date 16 y/o in his state. would you say, "ok, here's how to attract a taurus...?" would you talk about how he has to be true to his heart?
---
wait...
phew...started a new one so i feel much better now
my point is, most of the posts are about astrology. some of the posts are not. some of you see someone who's sweating and you offer them a napkin. i see that the same person is bleeding and offer them a tourniquet. now maybe you could wipe up all the blood with the napkin but it better be a Bounty paper towel because i'm not sure a Scotts is gonna do it.
my point is, most of the posts are about astrology. some of the posts are not. some of you see someone who's sweating and you offer them a napkin. i see that the same person is bleeding and offer them a tourniquet. now maybe you could wipe up all the blood with the napkin but it better be a Bounty paper towel because i'm not sure a Scotts is gonna do it.
O-M-G! i have a post in triplicate!!!!!! so exciting....
comcap may not like my tone and it doesn't matter if she does. i have noticed, which seems to escape someone is that comcap has repeatedly asked me to explain the same thing over and over. that usually happens when someone is being resistant/defensive because i don't think my saying "better yourself first" is a horrible concept.
if she listens to others, she will get emotionally wrapped up in something that may end well.
if she listens to me, she will be happier, stronger, independent and more self-aware. which ultimately makes her more attractive to good, single men.
but hey, bank on a man/friendship instead of investing in self. that ALWAYS works *insert rolling eyes smiley*
comcap may not like my tone and it doesn't matter if she does. i have noticed, which seems to escape someone is that comcap has repeatedly asked me to explain the same thing over and over. that usually happens when someone is being resistant/defensive because i don't think my saying "better yourself first" is a horrible concept.
if she listens to others, she will get emotionally wrapped up in something that may end well.
if she listens to me, she will be happier, stronger, independent and more self-aware. which ultimately makes her more attractive to good, single men.
but hey, bank on a man/friendship instead of investing in self. that ALWAYS works *insert rolling eyes smiley*
darnit, you messed up my triple post. if it's not worth responding to why are you responding. and you're far more long in the tooth than me so this tit-for-tat should beneath you...BUT IT'S NOT!
ok, my honey has finished making dinner and this has been fun and all but bitterbellabullofit is way too nonsensical for me so...
comcap, i hope you get involved in your community and do things that allow you to get out and meet more people...more friends. you sound like a good person with a lot to offer and i hope you find that thing that helps you move forward with/without help.
best wishes!
comcap, i hope you get involved in your community and do things that allow you to get out and meet more people...more friends. you sound like a good person with a lot to offer and i hope you find that thing that helps you move forward with/without help.
best wishes!
bella, if you could only shut it long enough to realize I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK! you call me on my tone. i call you on giving out stupid advice...advise. we're even.
now i have a steak waiting for me and as an astrological bovine, there's something creepy about that.
now i have a steak waiting for me and as an astrological bovine, there's something creepy about that.
My goo'ness is there something in the water lately?
ROFLMAO, I just got into it with someone yesterday. I innocently go to work, and come back to this thread and think WTF?!
OMG! Forgive me u guys for ever putting this topic up here. As i've mentioned, my case is up here for anyone to state their opinion, respectfully as an adult, not insults. I thought that was understood?!
All I ever wanted to know is a little more about the actions of my taurus friend. Instead I get a bunch of advice on how to better myself. Which is not really a bad thing but I'm afraid I feel like one of u is passing judgments without even reading my comments of gazillion words where I have stated my intentions with my taurus friend in very clear words, and is seriously trying to put me down by judging my character and "assuming" once again, that I am going to slip and have sex with my taurus friend. Sorry if that might be ur weakness, but its not how I treat my body.
My times are hard enough right now, I did not ask for this and I must admit im a bit offended by a few remarks made here about me and my true pure love for my taurus. (if u ever understand in ur stubborn head what the meaning of LOVE is , to begin with) LOVE to me is not equal to SEX. sorry! Thats the way i believe and i'm pretty stubborn about it too!!!!!!!!!!
By the way, I found out the my taurus friend's ex gf was actually wanting to talk to him. Came to know the ex was lying about being married or having moved on just so my taurus friend would stop following her. I called her and my taurus friend. He has obsessed over his ex for about a year and I know how that feels. I wanted to see him happy again. So today I took them out on a date as a treat from me for them to reunite and see if they can pick up on their love from where they left and can live happily ever after. My role is over with my taurus. LOve sometimes takes sacrifice to see ur loved one happy. We will always be friends.(as much as one of u is so hating the idea of me sticking around with guy 8 yrs younger than me!i really cant help it, he likes me for whatever reason...) However , with that said, i'm back to doing me by myself and cleaning my path in life.
To the all the respectful and the hateful, who shared their opinions here(u know who u are) , I thank you u all equally for sharing ur opinion and showing me the true light of what this world is about what i should expect from it. Im done here.... Bye!!
All I ever wanted to know is a little more about the actions of my taurus friend. Instead I get a bunch of advice on how to better myself. Which is not really a bad thing but I'm afraid I feel like one of u is passing judgments without even reading my comments of gazillion words where I have stated my intentions with my taurus friend in very clear words, and is seriously trying to put me down by judging my character and "assuming" once again, that I am going to slip and have sex with my taurus friend. Sorry if that might be ur weakness, but its not how I treat my body.
My times are hard enough right now, I did not ask for this and I must admit im a bit offended by a few remarks made here about me and my true pure love for my taurus. (if u ever understand in ur stubborn head what the meaning of LOVE is , to begin with) LOVE to me is not equal to SEX. sorry! Thats the way i believe and i'm pretty stubborn about it too!!!!!!!!!!
By the way, I found out the my taurus friend's ex gf was actually wanting to talk to him. Came to know the ex was lying about being married or having moved on just so my taurus friend would stop following her. I called her and my taurus friend. He has obsessed over his ex for about a year and I know how that feels. I wanted to see him happy again. So today I took them out on a date as a treat from me for them to reunite and see if they can pick up on their love from where they left and can live happily ever after. My role is over with my taurus. LOve sometimes takes sacrifice to see ur loved one happy. We will always be friends.(as much as one of u is so hating the idea of me sticking around with guy 8 yrs younger than me!i really cant help it, he likes me for whatever reason...) However , with that said, i'm back to doing me by myself and cleaning my path in life.
To the all the respectful and the hateful, who shared their opinions here(u know who u are) , I thank you u all equally for sharing ur opinion and showing me the true light of what this world is about what i should expect from it. Im done here.... Bye!!
glad to see things resolved the way it should have. you're focusing on bettering you and that's all that matters...and all that should matter in the grand scheme of things.
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