Blinded by a Taurus! can someone please help me?

This topic was created in the Taurus forum by Angel21 on Wednesday, July 22, 2015 and has 22 replies.
That helped me a lot Binota....
It's possible....but each time he appears I just don't have a will...everything just comes back. But maybe you are right....time heals....so they say.
I only see 2 options. Well, the 3rd one would be fighting for what you want, but I don't see that playing out successfully. Dignity intact and all. It's not impossible, but considering the circumstances, one of them being the (I assume big) age difference, it wouldn't even be a practical way to go. For either of you.

So here's #1. You can cross your romance off and stay "friends", or even better (because you said feelings from your side are involved), cross him entierly. And #2, if he happens to be a cheating son of a gun and you're sexually attracted to him, keep the affair going and just call him up when you want, nonchalantly. If you'll do #2, reclaim the possession of that head of yours first. Loose the feels. Actually, you'll have to do that either way. You said yourself you were aware that you two ending up together was impossible, so why the disappointment? You obviously had some expectations despite the reality you said you were aware of from the get go.
What is your husband's sign? Inquiring minds want to know.
I was going to stop reading at 'virtual love affair' but decided to stop at 'I'm married'.

Easha, my husband is Cancer. We have been married for 15 years. Would appreciate your comments.
AgentP...we all have our situations in life. I am aware of the situation. I could even say ridiculous as this is the way I feel... but the pain is there and I really believe that falling in love can happen at any time in any situation, if the right situation and persom meet.
Posted by Angel21
Theatrum. Your comment is very helpful. #3 out of the question. I am 15 yrs older. He.wants a family and children.
#2 this is what I thought could happen as up to now I hadn't seen any real interest to commit to his gf. Even if quite difficult ss he lives very very far. If this would be the case, yes....I would have to control my stupid romantic heart.
All is left is#1. Either keep friendship or just end it all.
if I keep te friendship...I still need to control myself... if I see I will not be able to do this....my only solution will be to just forget. Thank you.....:-)

np. Glad I was of help. smile
You're so young. Lol I wish I could go back and change a few things.

Keep you shit together and if you're having problems now this would be a learning experience..and just communication and honesty go along way. And actions speak louder than words.

You have so much ahead of you.. School, job, a place of your own, you're own car, and money of course. Before a guy comes waltzing and messing things up
Hi FirstDecan! Didn't quite get ir :-)
i'm confused. you're in love but it is a virtual relationship where he lives far away, is in a relationship with someone else and is 15 years your junior.

you said you're lovers, have you met? how often do you meet?
Posted by jeane
i'm confused. you're in love but it is a virtual relationship where he lives far away, is in a relationship with someone else and is 15 years your junior.

you said you're lovers, have you met? how often do you meet?

edit - i re-read your op. you've never met.

you sound like you're a fantasist. are you a fantasist?
Posted by Angel21
Hello Jeane. No I am not a fantasist. We have been chatting and seing each other through Skype. I definetly have had a relationship with him. Mostly virtual. We have met. Once.

and you slept with him on that first and only meeting?

i don't know. maybe it is my age. i just don't count virtual interaction as a relationship. sure, they can be precursors to a relationship but until someone is in your presence and you can fully experience them, what you are shown is what they allow you to see.

does he think you are in a relationship? did he break up with you when he started seeing this other woman? did you discuss having an open relationship given the distance and your marriage? was it just assumed?
Posted by jeane
Posted by Angel21
Hello Jeane. No I am not a fantasist. We have been chatting and seing each other through Skype. I definetly have had a relationship with him. Mostly virtual. We have met. Once.

and you slept with him on that first and only meeting?

i don't know. maybe it is my age. i just don't count virtual interaction as a relationship. sure, they can be precursors to a relationship but until someone is in your presence and you can fully experience them, what you are shown is what they allow you to see.

does he think you are in a relationship? did he break up with you when he started seeing this other woman? did you discuss having an open relationship given the distance and your marriage? was it just assumed?
click to expand

oh you didn't sleep with him. i really should read things more clearly...
Posted by Angel21
Jeane...you asked:

does he think you are in a relationship?

I am long time married.





but you believe you are in a relationship with him. correct?

this just sounds like a friendship that skirted with flirting. i think in order to now what to do you have to first correctly identify and define what you are dealing with. it's a friendship. it's not a virtual love affair otherwise he wouldn't be dating other women. he didn't break with you because there is nothing to break. you are not in a relationship. you may wish you are but you're not.

you're not lovers. you've not slept together. you've met in person once. yeah, there was some kissing but if kissing made us lovers, i would have had my first lover at 7. you're overreacting to a situation that only exists because you hope it does. it doesn't.

you tell each other dark secrets. welcome to the internet. the world's largest confessional. we all tell each other things we wouldn't tell our closest friends. does it mean everyone on dxp is only christmas list. no. i'll go back to my initial point, virtual relationships have such small value. they are fun for a time and they fulfill a personal need but without anything else they are time sensitive and bound to burn out.

the way to work through this is to fill your own non-virtual life with things, events, people. you have a need that is currently being fulfilled by some kid far far away. you've allowed yourself to runaway with the idea that what you have is more that is actually reality. have that need met in other ways. why not try reconnecting with your husband? if that is not an option well then, maybe think about if this is how you want to live your life.

you've been sleeping these past 2 years. it's time to wake from your slumber.
I can be a scatterbrain when I read something like this. I was just saying have your shit together and be independent. D
FirstDecan you are not making sense to me...or..you didn't read the posts Big Grin
Posted by Angel21
I never thought we could have a future together. I just wanted to keep the affair. Our talks were great, including the sex bit.

Were the conversations sexual...or was this an implication that the both of you were sexually intimate?
I need more clarity.
Was this an emotional affair or a physical one?
You asserted previously that the two of you met just once...is this correct?

The Cancer man you're married to...is he not attentive?
Is this a workable flaw? Or is the marriage over and beyond repair?
Are there children involved?
What are your long term intentions with this Taurus man?

Keep in mind, Bulls are pretty grounded, please provide specific answers to the questions without the dramatics.

No pun intended.

FYI, Bulls are never confused, or uncertain. They know their minds. You may have a Baby Bull on your hands which may prove the contrary, however, slow does not equate to indecisive...just cautious
Call it a strong intuition, but something tells me your visit to the Taurus Board wasn't inquisition, or closure, but perhaps, a prelude to a potential possibility with this Taurus man. The subtle references about the Bull not being in love with his girlfriend, the introvert and confused comment.

Not passing judgement.

May be it's the risk taking Sag in you that's telling you to take a leap of faith.

But this action would be selfish, to a man who desires to marry and have children.

Think long and hard about this!
All that time and energy you are putting into daydreaming about what could be, you should be putting into your marriage. If it still doesn't work then get a divorce and move on. Let that Taurus go, he's only a distraction from your unhappy marriage. Life is too short to live miserable but put yourself in your husband's shoes and at least try to make it work. What if he had an emotional affair with a much younger woman? How would that make you feel?
Thank you again Theatrum. You see things clearly. It will prob be #3.
Posted by Angel21
Thank you again Theatrum. You see things clearly. It will prob be #3.


Good luck!