Broke up with Taurus man Want him back MAJOR PAIN

My 1st post. Sorry it's long but I am in awful pain & would love your advice please.

So, Taurus man (May 1st birthday) pursued me (Cancer) for ages last summer even though I told him I was still nursing a broken heart & the death of a friend & was no way ready yet.
He acted like a charging bull & we quickly got together. He was kind & loving & told me he loved me very soon- in my opinion too soon. Said he'd loved me from afar for 2years. I never said it back because I take love seriously & would never lie about those three little words.

Months dragged on and I have to admit I did not behave well. I was NEVER horrid to him, but I was depressed still over the previous heartbreak.
While he was very 'up' and wanting us to start building a future together, I was often down & pessimistic which caused rows.
I wouldn't meet his friends or family because I felt that would add even more pressure & be unfair on him if things didn't work. Eventually I broke it off, twice, before Christmas.

Over xmas I started to see I had made a grave mistake. He was kind & loving and not going to hurt me like those other men before.
I fell for him & realised I was totally in love with him. So I made a small approach by text & we started talking again really nicely.
One day we slept together & the very next day he sent me a very hard email saying we should never see each other again.
Said his mind was made up & he did not trust himself to let go of the past ( ie our previous problems & the fact that I hurt him).

I then sent him a beautiful handmade Valentine's card telling him I love him with all my heart and it really touched him.
He turned up on my doorstep that same night with tears in his eyes. I told him we must not sleep together, only for it to end in a break up the next day. I said I was not strong enough for that. But he gave me hope that we could still work it out & so he stayed over.
Since then he has grown more and more distant, but sometime peppered with the occasional v loving sign, like the old Taurus I used to know last year.
He carried on throwing me the odd v hopeful sign that we would meet again next week & try to work things out. But then he'd go cold again.

We were due to meet next week, but I emailed to say I could not meet unless he actually wanted to, not just because he felt he ought to meet me out of sense of duty.
And he agreed & said it's totally over now. He doesn't love me anymore & doesn't know where his love has gone. I want him

What a mess!

He wanted you and pressed for a relationship when he couldn't have you.
Now that you want him, he wants out!
He's out and now you want him.
Both of you want what you can't have.

Say you agree, it's over between you and stop contacting him.
Maybe then you can have each other, when it's clear you no longer can have each other.

Or

Just get on with your life and get over this relationship and the previous.
Be single for a while and clear your head.

Thanks for reaching out to me so quickly, Lunar Maiden. I guess I'm still very much in that horrid stage or working out what steps I should take to increase my chances of a reconciliation, however far off or even unlikely that may be. I like your simple advice about simply cutting contact now. That said, I think that's what he wants. I think he wants to retreat to his man cave/ bull ring and lick his wounds, take stock and- as he told me on the phone last night- 'work out what he wants from life.' It's all the previous mixed messages that are really hard to swallow. Just two days before this final phone call, he rang to tell me all about his life/ his working day. And he said he was 'gutted' I would not be by his side at an upcoming wedding. Last week, he rang me drunk for hours, telling me he loved and missed me. Is this a Taurean trait, to play with a former lover like a cat with a mouse? All I want to know is- what's my best course of action? Like, should I even send him his things back ( I said I would last night on the phone. It was my suggestion, not his). Thanks anyone who replies

I would say take your time to think and distance yourself for now. Don 't do anything impulsive, really take time and think. If he misses what you two had and realizes that he loves you he will come back! Like the old saying goes, if it's meant to be it will be.

Posted by LunarMaiden

He wanted you and pressed for a relationship when he couldn't have you.
Now that you want him, he wants out!
He's out and now you want him.
Both of you want what you can't have.

agreed. we all do it, but relationship should not be this much work, it should progress naturally. especially us girls we obsess/plan about what to do to make things work, but guys just act on how they feel, they don't think before acting. and with experience you learn that no matter what you do, how hard you try, or dont try, things turn out the way they have to turn out.

Thanks, ChildoftheMoon and MeMyself. You've calmed me down a little and made me realise I can't force anything here, however much I want to. I've made it abundantly clear to him that I'm sorry for the past and prepared to, now, give this my all. But he has to want that too. Before coming to this forum, I've read so much about how Taurus never ever change their minds. I guess that's what makes me the most nervous and sad. What if he is so stubborn that he won't ever go back on his word, even for Love? That's crazy. Did anyone on here ever successfully have a Taurus return to them? Thanks for all the opinions. You are helping me feel less alone and distraught

UPDATE

So, I had my office bicycle/motorbike courier to drop off his personal belonging to his office this morning.
I included some old xmas gifts that I never had a chance to give him and a little note saying :-

'Please accept these gifts, or give them to a friend or charity shop if you don't want them rather than binning them.
Take care, I love you. x '

He has emailed back...... 'Just to let you know I got my things. Hope you are ok.' No kiss, nothing

I know he doesn't want to give me false hope. but not even a little 'x'x at the end of an email.
It's like he has frozen over

So now I just start the no contact thing, right?

I wouldn't have left a note. Especially the "I love you" part of the note was a bit over the top.
Why do you expect a kiss or term of endearment? He has been clear on the fact that he want's to move on.
You are giving too much of your power. Take it back!!

My advice would be for you to REALLY move on.
So yes, start the no contact. In fact, when he drunk calls, texts, yodels, whatever, just ignore it.

Hello CancerGemCusp, I'm an Aries and my story with my Bull is a very long story and it all started over a decade ago.
All I can say is...Taurus men... at least the one I'm with tend to be very cautious when their feelings are involved.
If they've been hurt, they will never forget it... but on the bright side... if they loved you and they will carry those feelings their entire life... and thanks to that I'm reunite with my Bull after almost 12 years.

They are usually very private people and discreet men as well...so don't expect an "I love you" in your current situation, but if he still have strong feelings for you... you'll notice it in the most subtle way possible...it could be the way he look at you, just a few extra words to get a reply from you, the way he avoid you... you know him better than anyone of us here so you'll have to figure that part out by yourself.

When dealing with a taurus man... it all come down to how patient and how dedicate you are. Don't nag , pressure or be too hasty.
Just take things as they are if it doesn't work out move on.

Wish you the best of luck!

Lunar Maiden. I feel like you really know Tauruses and that you give good, sound advice, even if it is hard for this over sensitive Cancer like me to swallow.
I read somewhere that Taurus like adulation and gifts that are sentimental or thoughtful. I'm sort of hoping he will sit down this weekend and open up those Christmas presents and it least feel warmly towards me.
But my male friends say he will simply take the gifts at face value, enjoy the ego-massage and carry on moving on.

I have indeed noticed him flirting with a new girl on social media. I'm pretty sure it's nothing serious but it is mutual, which is worrying. She is clearly v into him. It's making me despair. I have not contacted him since the no contact rule set two days ago and plan to stick with this for at least a month.

But I am going crazy with jealousy and pain over this new girl.
And I still cannot get my head around how he could have slept with me and dangled the promise of us working something out, only to grow colder and colder until the final straw.
I thought he was a nice guy, but now I think he has shown such a cruel side that is hard to swallow.
I feel like he just used me for sex on Valentine's night without wanting any real commitment.

Leylia12.
thanks for giving me a hopeful story.

Right now, I'm clutching at straws, trying to stay optimistic and believe that he may one day have a turnaround.

You say you got your Taurus man back after 12 years and that is , naturally, very inspiring to me right now.
But I am wondering how you did it and what were the circumstances of your original split?


I did not cheat on mine, I did not treat him badly.
I was simply depressed when he came along and the timing was all off.
I split with him and broke his heart, then he has now done the same back to me.

I'm not sure if it is a Taurean trait to be vengeful?


All I know is that he SAID he loved me for months and now says he does not. He says the love has completely gone
I think true love does not work like that. I think if you love someone, you love them even if they are depressed. you stick around and wait for them to come out the other side.

So, yes, I am hoping he still gas feelings for me, buried inside somewhere.and I am now giving him the space to see if that is true or not
But as for your suggestions about 'the way he looks at me' or the way he contacts me etc, he has cut it all off. There is no more contact, there are no more looks exchanged.
I think he is through with me

Hi CancerGemCusp, I've made a thread a few months ago asking for help as well from people on this board... I put the link to the thread below... as I said... it's a very long story.

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/taurus/how-can-i-get-my-bull-back-3440547/
If you have the courage to read the whole story, I consider myself extremely lucky and right now I'm treasuring every single second of it.

Please do understand that every person is different...and that astrological sign is at best a TENDENCY as said Kira, one of my friend on this board. David and Kira were the only 2 males Taurus that help me out back then... wish they could give you some insight as well.

Right now I think you need some time to sort things out, calm yourself down and get it together.
Just remember a happy woman is always prettier and more appealing 🙂
If he was just playing games with you...then he's just not worth it, move on and save your precious love for someone who will deserve it.

Actually, Leylia12 I did read your whole story and it is lovely. I am happy for you and I can tell you truly appreciate your second chance.
Basically I want to be you. I want what happened to you to happen to me.

He must have really loved you to hang in there, not dating anyone else in all that time.

You are right that I am a mess right now...sad and, I'm not ashamed to say it, desperate.
I don't think my Taurus was playing games with me...not at the beginning. but I do think he was infatuated with me, rater than loving me for real.
As far as I know, true love does not disappear within weeks. It does not vanish even through hard times.

I'm going to wait it out, carry on with no contact and hope and dream that he returns. Thanks for everyone's help x

*update part 2*


Teeny tiny and possibly insignificant update.

I know I shouldn't have looked but I just checked his instagram feed and he has JUST posted a photo of one of the xmas gifts I gave him in that parcel I sent of all his belongings.
(Remember, I told him in out last ever phone chat that I??d be sending him back his things. These included a bunch of unopened xmas presents).

Does the mean anything at all?
I figure he is at home and has finally started opening the parcel and he must have really liked this one particular gift to post a pic of it.
It's only something small and thoughtful, not expensive. but it's very 'him'.
Surely if he truly truly wanted to shut me out of his life forever, the gifts would mean nothing to him and he would just discard them?
And he most certainly would not post a pic of it right to all his followers ( his instagram feed is important to him for his work in the creative industry) ?

Or am I being a hopeless optimist? OPINIONS?
Thanks, guys. You have really been here for me

Posted by CancerGemCusp

One day we slept together & the very next day he sent me a very hard email saying we should never see each other again.
Said his mind was made up & he did not trust himself to let go of the past ( ie our previous problems & the fact that I hurt him).

This sounds like hidden resentment. He gave his ALL, and you threw it back in his face. He simply took you up on the sex because he's a man. A horny Taurus man! Sleeping with you didn't indicate the rite of passage to his heart. Nor did it mean you were forgiven. In my opinion, the conversation should have taken place before sexual intercourse....a gradual courtship should have also taken place before sexual intercourse.

This was the ONLY way he would have let you back into his inner circle of trust....slowly

He has no real obligations to you....

No ties.
No commitments.
No relationship.

He can give himself a clean break if he wanted to.

You never clarified where the both of you stood prior to intercourse.

Taurus, we're fixed signs
It's black or white.
No gray areas.
You're either in a relationship with us...
Or you're not!

Hi CancerGemCusp, I think him showing off one of your gift is not a bad sign...besides...does he know you have access to his instagram?

Try not reading too much into it, just keep doing your things and keep yourself busy and take care of yourself.
Optimism is fine and healthy but over expectation is not. 🙂
Again, I wish you the best of luck... and do be careful.

Dear KittyKnitter (great name!)

Thanks for talking time to reply. I'm always amazed at the kindness of strangers.

I admit, when I saw my Bull's instagram pic, my heart leapt for joy. I saw it as a sign.
But you've grounded me again and made me see that a positive sign doesn't necessarily mean he will take any action. And in fact, he has not.
That's terribly sad to digest, but- as you and others have said- Time and Patience are the only things I have to work with here.

I also like that you've given me a modus operandi if he does come back. You've made me see it would be no good leaping all over him like a loving, excitable puppy. Calm and considered is my new mantra.

That, and : COLD TURKEY. I am not contacting him at all, as much as my heart longs to
Im not sure how Taurus men react to being ignored, but lets face it- the no contact rule is a tried an tested method that does often work with men and women.

Sounds like you've got a good system going on with your man. I wish you long and lasting happiness.
Having lost a Taurus I love, my advice to anyone dating a bull is 'Don't hold back', not when it comes to your love. Just tell them and show them

Hi TaurusBull1977

Actually I did clarify that my Bull could not stay the night if only to break my heart again. I told him I was not string enough to go throug that and that he needed to understand that I was in this seriously and wanting to give us a fresh start and another go.
He nodded and had tears in his eyes and seemed to agree.

We had an amazing night of very close sex and cuddling...or love making, as I thought it was.
But then he left early in the morning to return to his home. Said he wanted to get a changed of clothes etc befoe work.
But it felt like he was running away from the scene of crime.


If nothing else....even if the love really has gone from his heart, surely he is midding the sex?
Won't even that drive him back to me?

I am dying inside.
I miss him so much I can barley breathe and I can't eat or sleep

And to user idk, thanks for your kind words of comfort.
I am not coping well.

I honestly feel like I have lost the love of my life.

Any Taurus men out there want to take charge of my love life and tell me what to do?
I will follow your advice to the letter