Buying Love

Frustrated is simply an understatement. All I wanted was a declaration of love and some stability on my future and I got no guarantees from my now Cancer ex he was happy with the status quo and after many months I choose to end our four years together. Afterwards we remain friends even though we both express our love and he decides to confuse me even further with gifts, thoughtful and cute gifts for me, for my dad and my cousin who I am super close to. To top it off I get lots of flirtatious emails and texts and I think that he wants to give it another try and when I bring up how the gifts and words are giving me the impression that he wants to try again what do I get?
I get shut down and I look and feel like an idiot. Now I feel stupid and I hate this feeling when I care for the obviously him.
Anyway I learned my lesson and I backed off and went awol and after a few months I am still licking my wounds but my heart still aches when I think about him.
Now we are both at a stalemate.
I wonder what the hell was his problem...

No balls. That was his problem.

If only it could be that simple NZAqua. He went off on a tangent talking about how the way he was brought up and that he can't do family and how his friends at work were telling him that he'll change his mind about family in a few years. So he tells me that he hates when people say things as if they know him and that he was going to spite them even if it hurts himself. The way he went off and with a attitude left me a bit confused because I wasn't accusing him of anything or pushing him I just asked a simple question and ignited a hot mess. He put himself in that nonsense because he was the one who introduced me to his work friends long after we broke up and went on after wards in texts and emails about how much they liked me.

The reason we broke up was he didn't want marriage or kids and I did.