cancerlady91
@cancerlady91
8 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 17 · Topics: 1
Closure?
#Rule101 for happier life - Never wait for closures!
Posted by TeenaI agree. I just wish he didnt pop up in my head every so often.
#Rule101 for happier life - Never wait for closures!
Posted by bittercupcakeWe never even formed a relationship. We were in the beginning stages, and he did me wrong.
I've gone through this with the Leo. You have to make the conscious effort to see the positives of the breakup. Sometimes it's more of an ego thing than actual feelings.
60% of our "situationship" was him showing me just how wonderful he could be, and the other 40% extended to him being a complete jack off to me.
Care to elaborate about it being "just an ego thing"?
By the way -- can I just enlighten you on much this should not be a factor in my now life?
I am currently in a five year relationship. Married two years. My daughter is one.
Still stumped at why my brain says "What if?" No I'd rather not.
OMG! Isn't it the hardest question that has NO frigging answer and I am wondering how many people are suffering from it?
Is it some form of punishment for past sins? 🙏
Is it some form of punishment for past sins? 🙏
I think it's the same as unrequited love..it fcuking hurts 😢
Posted by bittercupcakePosted by cancerlady91Wait, so your situationship was with the Leo? or were you married and then got involved with a Leo? were you married to the Leo?Posted by bittercupcakeWe never even formed a relationship. We were in the beginning stages, and he did me wrong.
I've gone through this with the Leo. You have to make the conscious effort to see the positives of the breakup. Sometimes it's more of an ego thing than actual feelings.
60% of our "situationship" was him showing me just how wonderful he could be, and the other 40% extended to him being a complete jack off to me.
Care to elaborate about it being "just an ego thing"?
By the way -- can I just enlighten you on much this should not be a factor in my now life?
I am currently in a five year relationship. Married two years. My daughter is one.
Still stumped at why my brain says "What if?" No I'd rather not.
In regards to what you said, yeah... immature Leos can be that way. I think the best type of Leos are the ones that have had their hearts broken a couple times and are in the 30+ age range. Other than that you get a Leo who might take you for granted or even one that might be a bit of a show off/egoccentric type. Also take into account environment and astrological placements and upbringing.
As far as the ego thing. Sometimes immature men, (leos included), have this need to prove themselves by enchanting women with false promises of love, devotion, loyalty, etc, etc. Women swallow this thing up all the while ignoring the obvious red flags. The majority don't go out of their way to string women along, but all he needed from her was validation. Validation that can stem from insecurities, heartbreak, and ego. So sometimes men come into the picture just to prove to themselves that they can get the 'girl'.
All the while, the girl is falling harder and harder for the guy because he's making false promises and putting on a big show for her... only for him to disappear and pitter patter on to the next. The girl is left heartbroken and wondering what the hell happened? Thinking that something was actually wrong with her and feeling void and incomplete because she never got that closure. So you leave that hole unattended hoping to get the answers or even hoping for his return. But sometimes we never get that for ourselves... so sitting around and leaving this wound unattended will be left to fester for years and years.
All because you felt rejected ... so on your part, your ego won't allow you to move on. Other times it's true feelings, but that usually is an illusion. Because if a man wasn't truly treating you well and you gave your all, then you feel like you were cheated out of something. So that could be another possibly motive as to why you feel like you can't move on.click to expand
No, we were never married. He was a Taurus. I married an Aquarius.
I have no room for him to return in my life. I suppose there is a part of me that wants an explanation as you've said prior -- to fill that void.
I want to know what I did to him?
Just before reading this, I found an exact passage to how this entire ordeal has me feeling.
It reads; "How'd it feel to let him go?"
"Letting him go was like taking a breath of fresh air, only to realize that I am still under water."
Posted by GemitatiLol. A punishment? I wouldn't wish this on anybody. It makes me feel weak. I have been through a laundry list of things that surely should have taken me out, or rather I kill my own damn self.
OMG! Isn't it the hardest question that has NO frigging answer and I am wondering how many people are suffering from it?
Is it some form of punishment for past sins? 🙏
Facing this.. I feel like the universe is yelling; "Ha-Ha! Gotcha Bitch. Yea, you can get over all those other hurdles, but this? I have you by the balls!"
😂😂
Letting go is easy, you just accept that you have no control over other people's lives and feelings. Done.
Closure however may require some talking through, but even then you have no control over whether that person will give you that.. so back to square one.
To me personally it'd have been a much harder process if I had control over it but was unable to do/say the right things, thus losing the person.
Closure however may require some talking through, but even then you have no control over whether that person will give you that.. so back to square one.
To me personally it'd have been a much harder process if I had control over it but was unable to do/say the right things, thus losing the person.
Posted by SolaI wouldn't say unrequited love.
I think it's the same as unrequited love..it fcuking hurts 😢
He has probably completely forgotten about where I existed in his life.. while I am over here with my foot in my mouth, trying to move foward from something I really should have let go of YEARS ago.
What's the definition for that? 😂😂
Posted by MiaouI like this response.
Even if you were to get the sort of closure you're looking for... Chances are.. You still wouldn't be satisfied.
People hardly are...
Posted by topesBrain space wasted.Posted by MiaouThere's nothing like dwelling on perpetual what ifs.
Even if you were to get the sort of closure you're looking for... Chances are.. You still wouldn't be satisfied.
People hardly are...click to expand
Posted by enfant_terrible
Letting go is easy, you just accept that you have no control over other people's lives and feelings. Done.
Closure however may require some talking through, but even then you have no control over whether that person will give you that.. so back to square one.
To me personally it'd have been a much harder process if I had control over it but was unable to do/say the right things, thus losing the person.
Shit. Guess part of me doesn't know that. A year can go by and here he comes..sliding through my mind like a machete.
Posted by cancerlady91I want to reveal to you something that I am weren't.Posted by GemitatiLol. A punishment? I wouldn't wish this on anybody. It makes me feel weak. I have been through a laundry list of things that surely should have taken me out, or rather I kill my own damn self.
OMG! Isn't it the hardest question that has NO frigging answer and I am wondering how many people are suffering from it?
Is it some form of punishment for past sins? 🙏
Facing this.. I feel like the universe is yelling; "Ha-Ha! Gotcha Bitch. Yea, you can get over all those other hurdles, but this? I have you by the balls!"
😂😂
click to expand
At my age and place and 'condition' - it's just almost a blessing.
When you care about one thing and others don't matter - you are like...free!
Yes. It hurts like hell but other stuff like what's going on in the world and what your friends do - really...I don't give a fk!
I have ONE problem.
And all crap doesn't matter!
I am nursing my heart and that's all that matters. NOTHING ELSE matters.
If I died - so what? It will just mean end of suffering.
So I am not afraid of death. I can't commit myself because we aren't broken up and I have people who will die looking for a screwdriver! Like my husband...
Because it was moved from one shelve to another. And he is looking on THAT shelf.
I don't care!!! All world issues are flying over me like...whatever...
You are young. I am probably could be your mother but again...age is a number. It hurts the same or worse at different age. You have time to recover. I don't have this luxury. But I give it time. And I gave it to a God!
Posted by CaramelizedCoffeeI don't care! People must die. Sooner or later. Argue with me...
Move. Time is Wasting. People are dying!
Posted by GemitatiThank you. I appreciate this.Posted by cancerlady91I want to reveal to you something that I am weren't.Posted by GemitatiLol. A punishment? I wouldn't wish this on anybody. It makes me feel weak. I have been through a laundry list of things that surely should have taken me out, or rather I kill my own damn self.
OMG! Isn't it the hardest question that has NO frigging answer and I am wondering how many people are suffering from it?
Is it some form of punishment for past sins? 🙏
Facing this.. I feel like the universe is yelling; "Ha-Ha! Gotcha Bitch. Yea, you can get over all those other hurdles, but this? I have you by the balls!"
😂😂
At my age and place and 'condition' - it's just almost a blessing.
When you care about one thing and others don't matter - you are like...free!
Yes. It hurts like hell but other stuff like what's going on in the world and what your friends do - really...I don't give a fk!
I have ONE problem.
And all crap doesn't matter!
I am nursing my heart and that's all that matters. NOTHING ELSE matters.
If I died - so what? It will just mean end of suffering.
So I am not afraid of death. I can't commit myself because we aren't broken up and I have people who will die looking for a screwdriver! Like my husband...
Because it was moved from one shelve to another. And he is looking on THAT shelf.
I don't care!!! All world issues are flying over me like...whatever...
You are young. I am probably could be your mother but again...age is a number. It hurts the same or worse at different age. You have time to recover. I don't have this luxury. But I give it time. And I gave it to a God!
click to expand
To be honest, I don't think I truly grasp what people mean by closure.
Shit happens, life is unfair. People come in out of your life at different times. Sometimes the ending is clear cut, sometimes it's not.
I don't spend time wondering what they think of me or if they think of me. Or start asking myself a multitude of questions of which there is no answer. I feel like my life has no need for it.
Man, I'm worrying too much about tomorrow and the next 40 years to concern myself with yesterday. It done, it happened, it's over - the question is what are you going to do now?
So for me this need for closure is self created and therefore can be self stopped. You shrug it off, see it as part of life, take what you can from it and keep looking forward
Shit happens, life is unfair. People come in out of your life at different times. Sometimes the ending is clear cut, sometimes it's not.
I don't spend time wondering what they think of me or if they think of me. Or start asking myself a multitude of questions of which there is no answer. I feel like my life has no need for it.
Man, I'm worrying too much about tomorrow and the next 40 years to concern myself with yesterday. It done, it happened, it's over - the question is what are you going to do now?
So for me this need for closure is self created and therefore can be self stopped. You shrug it off, see it as part of life, take what you can from it and keep looking forward
Posted by cancerlady91Yes! But what have I done to 'deserve' to be rewarded so much? LolPosted by GemitatiLol. A punishment? I wouldn't wish this on anybody. It makes me feel weak. I have been through a laundry list of things that surely should have taken me out, or rather I kill my own damn self.
OMG! Isn't it the hardest question that has NO frigging answer and I am wondering how many people are suffering from it?
Is it some form of punishment for past sins? 🙏
Facing this.. I feel like the universe is yelling; "Ha-Ha! Gotcha Bitch. Yea, you can get over all those other hurdles, but this? I have you by the balls!"
😂😂
click to expand
And I know just one person I would wish it on...then everything would work! 😂
Posted by jeaneI don't think it's all even about closure itself. It's more about why after years and years and years we can't let this go?
To be honest, I don't think I truly grasp what people mean by closure.
Shit happens, life is unfair. People come in out of your life at different times. Sometimes the ending is clear cut, sometimes it's not.
I don't spend time wondering what they think of me or if they think of me. Or start asking myself a multitude of questions of which there is no answer. I feel like my life has no need for it.
Man, I'm worrying too much about tomorrow and the next 40 years to concern myself with yesterday. It done, it happened, it's over - the question is what are you going to do now?
So for me this need for closure is self created and therefore can be self stopped. You shrug it off, see it as part of life, take what you can from it and keep looking forward
And why it hurts so much and what's the point of this hurt? Is this supposed to make me a better person? Or what?
Or would OP be better wife and mother than if she didn't wonder what if?
Going to bed and waking up with that hurt doesn't do a shit except probably will finally give you a heart attack or some nerve damage illness.
Posted by jeaneI tend to agree with this - and think its more of a mental thing rather than an emotional thing. Refuse to let that little devil on your shoulder to talk you into thinking about him. Did I read that you were hardly even in a relationship ? and you are still thinking about him 6 years later ? wondering what gives ? wow just wow - is all I can say - and what about your ex-husband - are you still wondering about him ? if not, then perhaps it is just your infatuation kicking you - maybe get some counseling about this so you can put this behind you and start living your present life in full - get out there and meet someone you can sink your teeth into - figuratively speaking ...
To be honest, I don't think I truly grasp what people mean by closure.
Shit happens, life is unfair. People come in out of your life at different times. Sometimes the ending is clear cut, sometimes it's not.
I don't spend time wondering what they think of me or if they think of me. Or start asking myself a multitude of questions of which there is no answer. I feel like my life has no need for it.
Man, I'm worrying too much about tomorrow and the next 40 years to concern myself with yesterday. It done, it happened, it's over - the question is what are you going to do now?
So for me this need for closure is self created and therefore can be self stopped. You shrug it off, see it as part of life, take what you can from it and keep looking forward
Posted by cancerlady91Yep! It's like there is potion #0 that you take it and all memories you want to not to be - poof! LolPosted by TeenaI agree. I just wish he didnt pop up in my head every so often.
#Rule101 for happier life - Never wait for closures!click to expand
Posted by tctaoThat's the thing! She is not wondering about ex, she is wondering about the person who left his print in her heart for the reason that no mortal can explain and does anyone thinks this is pleasant experience suffering party is enjoying - think again!Posted by jeaneI tend to agree with this - and think its more of a mental thing rather than an emotional thing. Refuse to let that little devil on your shoulder to talk you into thinking about him. Did I read that you were hardly even in a relationship ? and you are still thinking about him 6 years later ? wondering what gives ? wow just wow - is all I can say - and what about your ex-husband - are you still wondering about him ? if not, then perhaps it is just your infatuation kicking you - maybe get some counseling about this so you can put this behind you and start living your present life in full - get out there and meet someone you can sink your teeth into - figuratively speaking ...
To be honest, I don't think I truly grasp what people mean by closure.
Shit happens, life is unfair. People come in out of your life at different times. Sometimes the ending is clear cut, sometimes it's not.
I don't spend time wondering what they think of me or if they think of me. Or start asking myself a multitude of questions of which there is no answer. I feel like my life has no need for it.
Man, I'm worrying too much about tomorrow and the next 40 years to concern myself with yesterday. It done, it happened, it's over - the question is what are you going to do now?
So for me this need for closure is self created and therefore can be self stopped. You shrug it off, see it as part of life, take what you can from it and keep looking forward
click to expand
I bet anyone who knows what OP is talking about would pay any price to STOP this torture.
So how much and where is to mail the payment? 😢
Posted by tctaoI dont have an ex-husband. I have a current husband. You are correct six years later and every year to 6months does he cross my mind.Posted by jeaneI tend to agree with this - and think its more of a mental thing rather than an emotional thing. Refuse to let that little devil on your shoulder to talk you into thinking about him. Did I read that you were hardly even in a relationship ? and you are still thinking about him 6 years later ? wondering what gives ? wow just wow - is all I can say - and what about your ex-husband - are you still wondering about him ? if not, then perhaps it is just your infatuation kicking you - maybe get some counseling about this so you can put this behind you and start living your present life in full - get out there and meet someone you can sink your teeth into - figuratively speaking ...
To be honest, I don't think I truly grasp what people mean by closure.
Shit happens, life is unfair. People come in out of your life at different times. Sometimes the ending is clear cut, sometimes it's not.
I don't spend time wondering what they think of me or if they think of me. Or start asking myself a multitude of questions of which there is no answer. I feel like my life has no need for it.
Man, I'm worrying too much about tomorrow and the next 40 years to concern myself with yesterday. It done, it happened, it's over - the question is what are you going to do now?
So for me this need for closure is self created and therefore can be self stopped. You shrug it off, see it as part of life, take what you can from it and keep looking forward
click to expand
Posted by GemitatiYou are correct. Its hard ro relate if you have never dealt a with this.Posted by tctaoThat's the thing! She is not wondering about ex, she is wondering about the person who left his print in her heart for the reason that no mortal can explain and does anyone thinks this is pleasant experience suffering party is enjoying - think again!Posted by jeaneI tend to agree with this - and think its more of a mental thing rather than an emotional thing. Refuse to let that little devil on your shoulder to talk you into thinking about him. Did I read that you were hardly even in a relationship ? and you are still thinking about him 6 years later ? wondering what gives ? wow just wow - is all I can say - and what about your ex-husband - are you still wondering about him ? if not, then perhaps it is just your infatuation kicking you - maybe get some counseling about this so you can put this behind you and start living your present life in full - get out there and meet someone you can sink your teeth into - figuratively speaking ...
To be honest, I don't think I truly grasp what people mean by closure.
Shit happens, life is unfair. People come in out of your life at different times. Sometimes the ending is clear cut, sometimes it's not.
I don't spend time wondering what they think of me or if they think of me. Or start asking myself a multitude of questions of which there is no answer. I feel like my life has no need for it.
Man, I'm worrying too much about tomorrow and the next 40 years to concern myself with yesterday. It done, it happened, it's over - the question is what are you going to do now?
So for me this need for closure is self created and therefore can be self stopped. You shrug it off, see it as part of life, take what you can from it and keep looking forward
I bet anyone who knows what OP is talking about would pay any price to STOP this torture.
So how much and where is to mail the payment? 😢click to expand
Posted by tizianii think this is really true
Well it sounds like there's an unmet need, or a side of yourself you've yet to see come out with anyone else to be able to build good memories on it.
From a quick search, maybe these will help.
https://drhurd.com/2014/11/18/closure-after-breaking-up-whats-it-mean-de-wave/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/romantically-attached/201609/why-we-need-closure-broken-relationships
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-flux/201104/5-ways-find-closure-the-past
https://drhurd.com/2014/11/18/closure-after-breaking-up-whats-it-mean-de-wave/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/romantically-attached/201609/why-we-need-closure-broken-relationships
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-flux/201104/5-ways-find-closure-the-past
Posted by cancerlady91But everybody want to participate!Posted by GemitatiYou are correct. Its hard ro relate if you have never dealt a with this.Posted by tctaoThat's the thing! She is not wondering about ex, she is wondering about the person who left his print in her heart for the reason that no mortal can explain and does anyone thinks this is pleasant experience suffering party is enjoying - think again!Posted by jeaneI tend to agree with this - and think its more of a mental thing rather than an emotional thing. Refuse to let that little devil on your shoulder to talk you into thinking about him. Did I read that you were hardly even in a relationship ? and you are still thinking about him 6 years later ? wondering what gives ? wow just wow - is all I can say - and what about your ex-husband - are you still wondering about him ? if not, then perhaps it is just your infatuation kicking you - maybe get some counseling about this so you can put this behind you and start living your present life in full - get out there and meet someone you can sink your teeth into - figuratively speaking ...
To be honest, I don't think I truly grasp what people mean by closure.
Shit happens, life is unfair. People come in out of your life at different times. Sometimes the ending is clear cut, sometimes it's not.
I don't spend time wondering what they think of me or if they think of me. Or start asking myself a multitude of questions of which there is no answer. I feel like my life has no need for it.
Man, I'm worrying too much about tomorrow and the next 40 years to concern myself with yesterday. It done, it happened, it's over - the question is what are you going to do now?
So for me this need for closure is self created and therefore can be self stopped. You shrug it off, see it as part of life, take what you can from it and keep looking forward
I bet anyone who knows what OP is talking about would pay any price to STOP this torture.
So how much and where is to mail the payment? 😢
click to expand
Can you blame them? Lol 😢
Posted by cancerlady91focus on the negative aspects of what happened, not the positive - it would never have worked because of those negative traits - the devil can look real good but he's not ... it's what is on the inside that counts the mostPosted by tctaoI dont have an ex-husband. I have a current husband. You are correct six years later and every year to 6months does he cross my mind.Posted by jeaneI tend to agree with this - and think its more of a mental thing rather than an emotional thing. Refuse to let that little devil on your shoulder to talk you into thinking about him. Did I read that you were hardly even in a relationship ? and you are still thinking about him 6 years later ? wondering what gives ? wow just wow - is all I can say - and what about your ex-husband - are you still wondering about him ? if not, then perhaps it is just your infatuation kicking you - maybe get some counseling about this so you can put this behind you and start living your present life in full - get out there and meet someone you can sink your teeth into - figuratively speaking ...
To be honest, I don't think I truly grasp what people mean by closure.
Shit happens, life is unfair. People come in out of your life at different times. Sometimes the ending is clear cut, sometimes it's not.
I don't spend time wondering what they think of me or if they think of me. Or start asking myself a multitude of questions of which there is no answer. I feel like my life has no need for it.
Man, I'm worrying too much about tomorrow and the next 40 years to concern myself with yesterday. It done, it happened, it's over - the question is what are you going to do now?
So for me this need for closure is self created and therefore can be self stopped. You shrug it off, see it as part of life, take what you can from it and keep looking forward
click to expand
Posted by Sodapop
I really don’t believe in closures. No matter how much even he can explain you won’t get your answers. Sometimes there’s no real answer.
I was thinking about asking him what it was that made him turn into a jack ass, but he could tell me anything.
I'd never know if he was being genuine.
Not to say that Taurus aren't, but would a Taurus really want to hear back from someone so long from now only for that discussion.
I am not totally sure.
I must be completely different from everyone but I am ALL about closures. To me, needing closure is needing clarity. It could be as simple as having a conversation with why it didn't work out for him, and be clear/honest that it is for you to grow as a person. Nothing wrong with that. Sometimes, I think its just that, the lesson right there..waiting to be learned.
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