Decoding need or Nah?

This topic was created in the Taurus forum by Love2Love on Friday, March 31, 2017 and has 3 replies.
OK, so I think my Taurus has calmed down a bit. We talked yesterday as I was in a bit of a bad way and needed some advice about a work situation. I trust his advice above anyone else's. So, I bit the bullet and called him, I actually thought he would ignore or tell me off for calling, since he said never call or text.

Anyway, I explained the situation. We talked it through and he gave me some good advice I acted on. He even called back later to check how it went. Sweet.

So, during the call back I mentioned that I missed him and that I love him. He said he feels the same, but he 'can't'...I asked what he meant and he said, he misses and loves me, but can 'never' be with me again. I told him, I'd respect his decision, but I don't believe in 'never'. I love him and hope that in the future we can work something out, as I can't ever see myself with anyone else, I don't think that after loving him, my heart has the capacity to love another man.

He listened then said (in the most unconvincing voice ever!), that he does believe in 'never', and that he's sorry it has to be that way. So I pointed out that if he really believed in 'never', he said he would 'never' leave me, and he left, so 'never' doesn't mean anything to him. In response he said, "I haven't left you, I am still here. I will always be there for you, I love you. We can be best-friends, go out together and spend time together and you can call me anytime you need me, but as my love, I can't."

WTAF? Sorry, but the level of sexual chemistry and attraction between us, will not let that situation happen!!! If he and I spend time together, hang out and be BFFs, we will end up doing the naughty and he knows it! Not to mention we have a genuine strong love for one another, that's how I knew I could still turn to him and he would help. The same is true the other way. He knows he can come to me anytime and I'll have his back. Why set up for a head fuck?

I love him so much, and I know that he loves me just as much, if not more! HELP!!!! I can't reject his friendship offer, but if I am around him, I won't be able to control or cope with the feeling of wanting to kiss him or hold his hand, or cuddle up to him or just straight jump him and fuck his brains out!!! Will he be able to cope/resist as a Taurus? What should I do? What does it ALL mean?!!!

Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
It's EXACTLY as he says it....

He does not see a long term future but with the friends option he gets to see you, hang around with you, fuck you etc as a gf but with no commitment. PERFECT. He gets the best of both worlds...

It is hard to have that kind of connection with someone.. But you have to do as he says....

Go NC for at least 30 days and give yourself time to ween yourself off him. Love is a drug and cold turkey is the only option.

DO NOT CONTACT HIM.

The day you find out that his "never" does not exist is when the day you stop initiating and HE contacts you....

As I said "cold turkey"... NC will help...

Sorry to hear this news but be good to you.
I get that and can do that. I don't need to contact him. What do I then do about him turning up at my place of work? I work for a leading educational services provider. We offer professional exams and so on.

Whenever, I've tried to not contact him in the past he shows up. He showed up on Tuesday (and I hadn't contacted him since he said not to) and that's what made me weak. I became used to talking everything over with him!!!

If I go no contact. He will just turn up and as a public service provider, there's nothing I can do. He doesn't present any danger, so I can't have him barred and that would not be professional anyway, he has taken courses with us before.

I will listen to your advice, and just try to forget him.

Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
Posted by Love2Love
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
It's EXACTLY as he says it....

He does not see a long term future but with the friends option he gets to see you, hang around with you, fuck you etc as a gf but with no commitment. PERFECT. He gets the best of both worlds...

It is hard to have that kind of connection with someone.. But you have to do as he says....

Go NC for at least 30 days and give yourself time to ween yourself off him. Love is a drug and cold turkey is the only option.

DO NOT CONTACT HIM.

The day you find out that his "never" does not exist is when the day you stop initiating and HE contacts you....

As I said "cold turkey"... NC will help...

Sorry to hear this news but be good to you.
I get that and can do that. I don't need to contact him. What do I then do about him turning up at my place of work? I work for a leading educational services provider. We offer professional exams and so on.

Whenever, I've tried to not contact him in the past he shows up. He showed up on Tuesday (and I hadn't contacted him since he said not to) and that's what made me weak. I became used to talking everything over with him!!!

If I go no contact. He will just turn up and as a public service provider, there's nothing I can do. He doesn't present any danger, so I can't have him barred and that would not be professional anyway, he has taken courses with us before.

I will listen to your advice, and just try to forget him.

It doesnt matter about what HE does, this is about you.

You have to do this for YOU...

Whether he is "headfucking" you or not...

Go cold turkey on him, if he does show up at your work or your house or whatever ask him what the hell he is doing there and dont play stupid games. Quote his own words to him and tell him that you are not putting up with that shit... simple.

As for "trying to forget him" ... it is what he wants you to do... by saying he "never" sees you a part of his future in a relationship, he is basically telling you it is over as far as he is concerned and he is happy to see you with someone else. So he is happy for you to "forget him"... U are just respecting his wishes...

You need to do what is best for you...
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Thanks. I'll do it!