Delusional?

This topic was created in the Taurus forum by shortii on Tuesday, May 17, 2011 and has 15 replies.
If you are truly unhappy and want out,get a divorce.
Get a divorce for yourself,and your own peace and happiness...not another person.learn to live alone after the divorce and know yourself.
Then,at some point if this Taurus really loves you....he will find his way back into your life.
As someone who spent 15 miserable years in a marriage for all the wrong reasons,I believe in divorce.
I learned that commitment just for "commitment's" sake...all that supposed honor and integrity...is not worth misery,that robs you of your health,happiness,and years of life.
to thine own self be true is my new motto.
That being said...I did not leave my (scorpio) husband for another man,and never would have.you have to leave,imo...because you are so unhappy there is no alternative and you've tried ever thing you know to try.
Then,and only then can you look at yourself in the mirror and know you did your best.
Imo,of course.
That's why for now...you need to forget about him.concentrate on you,and what you need and want.
Are you talking about mine,ot the Taurus guy's ? Winking
*or
And if you do get divorced, work on yourself. Tripping from one bad relationship into the arms of another man is NOT the answer. You might find the grass greener because it's growing in nice and thick over the ol' septic tank. You feeling me? You are tired, mentally exhausted and used up emotionally at this point. The Taurus may seem to be the answer, but is he really? Any romantic phrase uttered, any conversation where you are the focus is bound to make you want to soak that up like a dry plant does the rain. I am not saying he's a *bad* man either. But an honorable one would wait for you to make a decision before he proceeded to court you.
You've children to consider. Ones that look up to you as Momma. Whether they're 2 or 20, that is NOT Dad. And you've a stronger example to set for yourself and for them. You are still to all intents and purposes a married woman. Your eyes should not be on someone else at this point. And do not take that as a personal slam,..I know you are heart sick right now.. but one just something laid out with truth. I would suggest trying ( as Bella said above me ) to work on things, but if you feel they've gone beyond that..that you've hit your absolute breaking point, then file. I do not advocate anyone being miserable their life long.

Absolutely.
And this guy may very well be sincere.As we grow older and look back....it's easy to see our mistakes and feel regret.
But fact is,it didn't happen then.you both went on with your lives,and you are where you are now.
You are wanting to leave for this bull,and we all 3 (VB,You,and I)know it.Sure,this is the trigger to bring your unhappiness to the fore,but it can't be the REASON you leave your life.
absolutely was at VB.
I is slooooow typer. Sad
If you were to get divorced,and get back together with the bull...then 6 months later split up....would you regret getting the divorce?
We just want you to take the time to heal yourself and learn who you really are.
Of course it makes sense.
I took a looooong time after my divorce to really think about men.Learned how to really be alone,and be ok with it...probably a little too ok with it. Winking
and really know who I am now,other than someone's wife or mother.I know who I am and what I want and need...so I'll be ready if ever the time comes.
That's what I want for you. smile
Posted by shortii
Posted by BellatheBull
If you were to get divorced,and get back together with the bull...then 6 months later split up....would you regret getting the divorce?
We just want you to take the time to heal yourself and learn who you really are.


((((ladies)) thank you.. I'm not ready to jump into something else.. I;m just thinking down the road. I want to heal and be whole again.. back who I was.
If it didn't work out between the Bull and I, If it was after I got myself together and whole, I wouldn't regret the divorce, becuase I'd have MY happiness again.. and could work on not accepting less than what I needed... not just my kids..
Does that make sense?

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It makes absolute sense. ((((HUGS)))) and good luck to you, whatever your decision lady. Be well and whole for you, and a good Momma to those little ones, yeh? smile

Ahhh shortii, your so much like all the Pisces women I've dated.. In relationships, your like one leg of a tripod..
"It's that the Taurus helped me realize how unhappy i was." ...Nope, the Taurus show'd you that there might be another set of 2 legs to your tripod that might make you happier.. Now I bet your just focusing on the negative aspects of the current 2 legs(scorp) to help validate your desire to leave, and to help boost your confidence to make that leap of faith...
That isn't healthy. And the VERY wonderful lady's here have offer'd you help in the matter as to doing it in a healthy way.. But you'll not have it, and just blow by their advice and keep asking the same thing.. 'Will the other 2 legs(Taurus) be there to catch me when I leave the legs I'm with, Or will I end up a one legged tripod in the end?'
Ah! I smell something in the air..*delicately raising nose* tough love, that's what it is.
shortii... you cannot, nor should change and bend over backwards for someone else. I know it's a natural thing to want to immerse into someone you love and have feelings for, but you cannot lose yourself. Did he not fall in love with you, just as you stand when he asked you to be his wife? And have you noticed that as you slowly became what you felt he wanted you to be, that you lost your spark. Your zest for life, the magic slowly drying up and fading to be blown away like dust in the wind. This was a gradual process, it didn't happen overnight, not in a week, but as the months slowly slipped into years. Perhaps ..just perhaps..he felt himself slowly pulling away because the woman he loved was disappearing. On many levels. *hand up* None of this is unkindly meant, but a lesson. It's all back and forth, give and take. One mirroring the other. Communication dwindles, the passion dies back to ember, or winks out entirely, the enemy. You let pieces of yourself shift and change, and perhaps as the focus changed again when you became a mother, not all about him anymore, now..is it? You had a new role, a new purpose. Perhaps he felt left out in so many ways..pulled back a bit more..you sensed his distance, and you put all your attention and focus on them. Leaving him to feel like a bit player and not a key component.
There are so many spins and variables to put on something like this. And I'm leaving the Bull completely out of the picture of all of it for the time being. Just another facet held up to the light for your consideration.
And TaurGuy...thank you.
So uhm, you're considering leaving a water (emo) sign in hopes of getting with a taurus...a sign that pretty much sucks at emo displays?
lol, u stoopid.
You need to learn the manner in which your husband DOES display emotion. If there is feeling on his part, he's communicating it...you just speak different languages.