Does this Taurus Guy Hate me!

This topic was created in the Taurus forum by mamacita351 on Saturday, August 24, 2013 and has 21 replies.
I am so sad. Please don't be judgmental, I really need advise. I was close to a taurus man (younger then I) for almost 2 years. He really seemed to care about me & etc. We were intimate on 2 occasions. This is where he expressed his true feelings for me.. ofcourse he had been drinking quite a bit. Anyway he asked how I felt about him and I told him I loved him. He said he loved me too then asked if I'd be his wife. Life plans Etc etc. Anyway, I know you aren't suppose to fish in the pond at work but we are coworkers. Things started to slowly go down hill after that night. He texted me a week after that night said he couldn't sleep and bet he could if I was there and said to text him next time I was free. So I did a few days later. He then said we shouldn't do things anymore cause he was in a relationship. Although this was a shock. I agreed but said I would really like to.remain friends. To make an already long story short, months have gone by and he slowly started being a douche to me. I mean we work together so I try to keep things normal by treating him the same (Like all the other coworkers) but recently..He's become so hateful annoyed and juat an ass. He talks, laughs, with everyone and diliberately ignores me... Oh I forgot to mention a new guy started a few months ago and has been talking to me. Yesterday the new guy had a going away party and kinda flirted with me. I can see the taurus guy looking at us. Then later I had a work related question for Mr Taurus and he turned and yelled WHAT??? Top of his lungs. I said..oh sorry didn't know u were busy I'll come back later. I texted telling him that I thought things were cool & he tried blaming me for getting mad by walking away. Anyway. I just don't know how to handle the work situation because we have to communicate. I've already tried saying stuff was cool... Help I am so sad.
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I am so sad. Please don't be judgmental, I really need advise. I was close to a taurus man (younger then I) for almost 2 years. He really seemed to care about me & etc. We were intimate on 2 occasions. This is where he expressed his true feelings for me.. ofcourse he had been drinking quite a bit. Anyway he asked how I felt about him and I told him I loved him. He said he loved me too then asked if I'd be his wife. Life plans Etc etc. Anyway, I know you aren't suppose to fish in the pond at work but we are coworkers. Things started to slowly go down hill after that night. He texted me a week after that night said he couldn't sleep and bet he could if I was there and said to text him next time I was free. So I did a few days later. He then said we shouldn't do things anymore cause he was in a relationship. Although this was a shock. I agreed but said I would really like to.remain friends. To make an already long story short, months have gone by and he slowly started being a douche to me. I mean we work together so I try to keep things normal by treating him the same (Like all the other coworkers) but recently..He's become so hateful annoyed and juat an ass. He talks, laughs, with everyone and diliberately ignores me... Oh I forgot to mention a new guy started a few months ago and has been talking to me. Yesterday the new guy had a going away party and kinda flirted with me. I can see the taurus guy looking at us. Then later I had a work related question for Mr Taurus and he turned and yelled WHAT??? Top of his lungs. I said..oh sorry didn't know u were busy I'll come back later. I texted telling him that I thought things were cool & he tried blaming me for getting mad by walking away. Anyway. I just don't know how to handle the work situation because we have to communicate. I've already tried saying stuff was cool... Help I am so sad.
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I was wondering does he care ir just hates me???
The only way this could work is if you keep the work relationship with him only. Just be serious when you have to communicate with him. And if he acts immature while you act serious then its best if you just shrug it off, surrender and leave so he will realize it does not affect you. The more you show him that it affects you the more he will keep up this situation. By sending him that text made him think that you still care, so now he may continue acting the same way again. Just try not to take it personally, the more you don't the more this situation will go away. He's just being an immature guy.
Thanks that makes sense. I appreciate it.
No problem. Just do your thing, focus on what you have to do. Be happy things did not work out with him because now you've got the opportunity for a much mature, better man in the future than babysitting a
silly boy. Winking
Mamacita,
Do as ari0x823 said, calm an quite so he will slowly back off, and one day he will come and appologize. His problem is that he really had feelings to you but also he wasn't so sure about what he really want. Anyways, he is just mad now because he lost you but he will get over it.
On the other hand, never ever do as robyn808 adviced, taurus can not be threatened, it will be as if you are calling for the worst war ever, her relly don't care either he will win or loose, he will just fight untill he dies if this is what it takes.
Simply, don't react and he will back off and I am sure he will come back and appologize one day.
It would be nice to get an apology. I just don't understand how you can be so close to someone then treat them like crap. Sad. Should I ignore him completely or just keep acting normal? See we work in same area so hard to not see him daily.
Ignore and only speak if you need something important to do with work, it will slowly get rid of the immature treatment.
Posted by ari0x823
Ignore and only speak if you need something important to do with work, it will slowly get rid of the immature treatment.


Yes
Frankly, I have never experienced such emotional conflict in workplace cuz I always avoid that. But if you want to confront him, just choose the right moment when he is weak or tired and confront him with the same meaning as robyn suggestion but in softly way (sure not begging or showing weakness) just don't be rude, just be straight forward. this might shorten the period of his backing off.
I am saying that because Robyn draw my attention to a very important factor which is (TIME), yes he might keep doing this for a relatively long time, because he will be the one who feels emotionally intimidated by your existence around.
Thanks for the hint Robyn
His chart looks like this Rising sign 5 degrees Leo, sun 8 degrees taurus, and moon 6 degrees aquarius. Mine is rising 19 degrees taurus, sun 38 degrees Pisces, moon 12 degrees Aries.
Oh I try not to be weak, I am a pisces so I tend to be mire sensitive to others. And I don't see how h e saw something different in me after 2 years. I'm the same person. The only thing I can think of is he knows how I feel about him & he ran away cause hes scared (age difference?) But I was just veing honest when he asked all the questions. I never once brought up marriage, future plans, or kids... He did. He just asked if I would be a part of it snd I said yed.
Thank you for your perspective it seems to be accurate to the T. I really tried not bringing emotions into the situation but it was dragging on too long. 6 months to be exact. I think maybe it would be in my best interest to transfer to another department. I was willing to be friends but I can't deal with all his moodiness. Especially since another guy is interested in talking to me and the taurus is always watching & throwing major attitude. I have actually started distancing myself from this new guy too, I honestly don't want any relationships at work.
Posted by robyn808

Really??? he may have thought he had feelings for her but something made him change his mind, maybe it was something he saw in her, maybe it was something he saw in his chick. But basically, he know see's her as a threat and a risk to his job and his relationship. And part of the reason he may see her as a threat is because she's emotional and weak. And if she wants his respect at work then she might want stand up and demand nothing less, Telling him this behavior is unprofessional and will never be tolerated. And the more she tries to ignore it, the longer it will likely continue.
Any thoughts on Taurus behavior when its excepted, and folks let them get away with it? how long do you think it will take for them to change it on their own?


This ^^^^^^^^

Posted by seniormontana

I am saying that because Robyn draw my attention to a very important factor which is (TIME), yes he might keep doing this for a relatively long time, because he will be the one who feels emotionally intimidated by your existence around.
Thanks for the hint Robyn
click to expand


And this ^^^^
Posted by mamacita351
I am so sad. Please don't be judgmental, I really need advise. I was close to a taurus man (younger then I) for almost 2 years. He really seemed to care about me & etc. We were intimate on 2 occasions. This is where he expressed his true feelings for me.. ofcourse he had been drinking quite a bit. Anyway he asked how I felt about him and I told him I loved him.
.


Were the two of you just friends with benefits or in a relationship?
Did you ever ask/tell him about the both of you being exclusive/monogamous?

Posted by mamacita351
I never once brought up marriage, future plans, or kids... He did. He just asked if I would be a part of it snd I said yed.
click to expand


He asked you to be his wife...but never asked you to be his girlfriend?
There are loopholes in this story.

Posted by mamacita351
I was willing to be friends but I can't deal with all his moodiness. Especially since another guy is interested in talking to me and the taurus is always watching & throwing major attitude.


He's trying to distance himself from you so that his relationship and job security isn't threatened?
But threatens his own job security by throwing tantrums?
*scratches head*
Inviting drama in a workplace from someone he's not emotionally connected to...seems a bit far fetched...Especially since the 'new' guy is clearly letting him off the hook.

Do whatever feels more convenient for you. If transferring will feel like a fresh new start then do so. There is nothing wrong in what choices you want to make and the reasons for it are for you to know only. Consider what you went through a mistake/experience you wouldn't repeat again. After all, we all make mistakes to learn something from them. It's not a bad thing, nor will it ever be. So keep your head up and keep moving on, focusing on what you have to. Keep positive, good luck and I hope all goes well for you in the near future. smile
Thanks everyone very helpful information.
Oh and just to clarify, I really didn't know what we had going on I guess I should of asked him in the first place (what he wanted from me in the beginning).
I did what you guys told me. Ignore his behavior. Seemed to work a little until we crossed in the hall. He said what's up so I did. Then I accidentally lost my balance & tripped, kicking the back of his shoe. He just about blew his stack by saying watch it & gave me the dirtiest eye ever. I DID NOT apologize guys.. I just said oops my bad? The rest of the day he was a total ass again. I just ignored it though. So hopefully his attitude towards me will stop.

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