Genuine SOS @ all taurus women!!!!

" i had so many friends who were girls, cos theyd call me all the time and id get inappropriate texts - and it really fell apart when i was friends with this supposed slut "

Hmmm, QueenScorpio can attest that my Libra has done the same thing.

"PLEASE BE AWARE THAT I DONT WANT HER TO MOVE ON. OR MOVE ON MYSELF. I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE TILL SHE ACTUALLY DOES MARRY SOMEONE! I FEEL TILL THEN I CAN STILL WORK ON US BEING TOGETHER - AFTER HAVING WORKED AROUND THE PROBLEM AREAS..."

This makes me wonder if my Libra is thinking the same thing with the girl he dated before me. he still talks to her and the reason why he decided to "move on" was because he didn't want to be in competition with the guy she's currently dating.


Shattered, you're leaving out a lot of detail. You are trying to place the blame solely on your Taurus girl by saying she's hormonal, trying to ruin things, made you buy things, etc...We are not confrontational, or at least we don't like to be. When she said it's not working out - I see that as she gave you many chances to show her you loved her, cared for her...sometimes just doing things for her isn't enough - you have to TELL her.

Until you post other details (because this is very one-sided), that's all I have to say about this.

If you were dating her, why would you allow inappropriate texts from other girls?

True bullerina.

Ah, I love that name!

But I disagree about the medication being the main problem....I still strongly feel he's leaving quite a bit out.

2) I have been childish or selfish enough to put my WANTS before hers ? am a gizmo freak, so went and bought like 6 computers in a house of 3? laptops, cellphones every quarter, tissot and swatch watches, and though I may've bought her a few things a few times over the years, I now realize how stupid that was of me, the most important thing in my life I now realize aren't gizmos or anything but this woman. Sounds like you put a value on her

3) She's been supporting me financially with the business, we're partners. So, yes, I've been careless with the money while she'd scrimp and save all the time? we take our money seriously and dont' like to see our hard-earned money gone to waste.

Ok, I gotta stop. You keep score...us Bulls hate that.

Hi ShatteredLibran; i see this as twofold,

First, if it's going to work, both of you have got to want it equally. (The constant emotional vollying back and forth, is no good for either of you, and will only cause more bitterness.) A small suggestion; forget every gizmo and gadget know to man, and go on a two week get away from it all...'totally alone..'NOTHING except for the you two and a whole lot of time together. Forget the blame, the past, the mistakes, which you have admitted to..and go beyond. Nothing's to be gained by constant rehashing. I think if you both truly love each other, you have to forget the world for awhile and find that (special) something that brought you together in the first place. I think this vital time alone would tell you both alot. It can work, if there's mutual respect, open honest communication, compromise and consideration for each other as both individuals and as a couple. Without any of these things, commitment is very hard. If it's going to work, neither can live in the past anymore. Only be the best you can be, as both individuals and as a couple. That's all you can do. You can't change the core of a person, you can only change how you yourself view one another. Seven years together, it's worth a try.. *If you know you've given it your 'all', then there's not much more you can do.. (with that said, her hormonal imbalance may negatively effect the best of intentions anyway..*that has to be considered, so don't blame yourself too much in the end..'some things in life may (be) out of your hands, no matter how well intentioned you are.)

*btw, about having girls as friends. If this really bothers her, you should then try and find intellectual kind of male friends, who (are) on the same mental wavelength as you. This is something easy that can be changed. She is much more important than having female friends, no matter her own perceptions on the matter. Those interesting conversations you have with them, have with her instead.

-Other than that not working, the only other thing i can tell you is pretty much what 25thDecan has said. You may have to move on, for the sake of your own health and well-being. She can't change the core of who you are. Some things in life can be compromised on, some things can't. It's very hard for any Libra to let go of a relationship. You only want the truest of love from the one you love.. *i do hope you find that vital balance and that things work out for you in the end; Take Care, SL..

"She is much more important than having female friends, no matter her own perceptions on the matter."

Libra males would not agree. It actually isn't the fact that we have female friends that is so important to us, it is the principle behind someone saying we can not that is really important to us.

As for what Shattered said. It sounds like you both handled things wrong. She was manipulative and jelous and several other things, you were irresponsible, dependant and careless with her emotions plus a couple of more.

It sounds like you have not just grown appart, but underneath it all grown to dislike each other. Your first post was very pointed as if someone and viciously attacked you, then you described all of the things you did wrong as well. But, underneath all of that...you two are different and incompatible personalities.

I agree with pretty much everything that everyone has said above - most of it I was already thinking as I read your posts......
I will say this though - first of all - the mental instability IS a huge problem and I'm afraid none of us can help you understand that - it is NOT becausee she is a taurus.
second - you clearly don't care about her - for all your spewing about love you didn't attempt to treat her right until she told you she was done - that is where your story ends because you see we bulls will let people push and push until they've pushed too far. We don't tell you how to act to make us happy - we let you be yourself and decide if that is the person we want - you turned out not to be. She lasted seven years with you acting like this - that is the taurean patience.
Libra's do not tend to bring out the best in Tauruas'.
You will both be better off if you move on.

Hi ShatteredLibran,

There are certain things in your post about your Taurean's behaviour that have paralleled mine at some points in my life.
*Female friends - I have no problem with my bf having female friends as long as he doesn't spend more time with them or contacting them than me. Also, if I know that one girl is after him (which has happened to me) and my bf doesn't kick them into touch about it or stop all contact I would be seething with rage. I feel it would be disrespectful if he didn't and I would wonder (as I have done) just how strongly this man feels about me. So I can understand why she feels this is an important turning point in your relationship. Jealousy is something a lot of Taureans have to deal with and get very little sympathy for from other people. We know it's stupid but that doesn't mean it doesn't eat us up at times and make us v unhappy.
* Money - If there's one thing that makes me feel that someone is taking the p**s out of me it's someone who spends all their money on themselves and then expects me to help them out cos I manage my money a lot better. It's not so much not being bought things, it's the idea that the other person has put some thought into what they've bought me. Some of the best presents I've ever had have been things that were not expensive but were things I liked. I can imagine she feels used, although this might sound silly, that you've spent money on yourself but not bothered to keep an eye on your own finances so you've ended up in trouble. Sometimes it's annoying to always be the sensible one who hasn't spent up before payday.

I can't speak for this woman, but I know myself that once I've been 'betrayed' as it were, it takes a lot for me to forget what's been done to me. I may forgive that other person, but I do find it hard to not think back to all the things they've done to me. Sounds silly and petty even writing it! When I'm with someone I give my all and if I feel that the other person is not then I feel let down and I wonder why I'm even bothering.
My advice is to show her and tell her, maybe in a letter so she can re-read it, how you feel about her and how you acknowledge your past mistakes and what you mean to do to rectify this. This isn't to say that some of the blame doesn't lie with her. Going out of town when you two really needed to be together is not the mature thing to do and doesn't do anyone any good. So perhaps a gentle reminder that at times it has been both of you

at fault would be a good idea. A word of advice though, don't go on and on about ehr faults as this won't do any good (sounds obvious but I've had it done to me so many times!) Taureans can accept criticisms as long as they are said calmly and with no drama attached.

I hope you manage to get an answer from her one way or another. Sounds like she's waiting for a huge gesture from you to prove your feelings and to settle in her mind what she wants.

Oh my.

Well I do agree with most of what has been posted by the various dxpers. I think that you should ask her what she feels are the main problems of the relationship because she is constantly telling you contradictory statements and confusing you (and me). Once you find those things out tell her that you love her more than anything in the world and you sincerely want to work it out.

I believe that you know the negatives you attributed to the relationship and are more than willing to change because you have learned from them. Show her this. Tell her this. Talk about how you TWO can change for the better of the relationship. Because she obviously has some issues she needs to resolve in order to be in a healthy relationship with you.


If things do not work out (and even though you love her) then it is best left that way. It seems as if this relationship is causing you to become depressed and sometimes things we think that are so right for us are actually not. And if it does not work out you can only reflect and grow from the love and hurt you shared while with each other.

Also you both have to want to be in this together, not just one person.

I know the feeling of loving someone so much that it hurts to think that you will never be with them again, but sometimes we go through the worst things because HE knows we can get through it.

hope everything works out for the best (for you and her).

keep me updated. I hope I helped

How funny....there's an ad for sugardaddie.com on the bottom of my page! so not appropriate to this topic!

shattered libran... ...well.. without her side of the story i can never really judge exactly... but im gunna say, it could be as simple as u dont please her sexually ne more, she got bored of the same ol same ol'... other guys r interesting to her now, has everything figured out....and thats what she wnats, she wnats sumone to wooooe her, amaze her, challenge her contsnalty, and encourage her to be better. what all women want.
after 7 years and no progress, she prolly feels liek shes jus settling iwth u, and she wnats more.

ladie, I agree.

Taurus ladies don't just give up abruptly after 7 years. We try to work it out and resolve challenges before we walk away.

I still say there's more to this story that he's leaving out. That's why, although I'm very happy with my Taurus/Libra relationship, I'm not divulging much. I can't form much opinion without knowing more information and he's not providing. All I've read are points that come across as him either being resentful for what has happened or him wanting to make right. After 7 years and him wanting to make right and get her back, there just seems to be more to the story because we lady bulls will either tell you point blank what we feel isn't working or we put signs in front of you to make you see for yourself.

At this point, she's moved on. When we decide to move on and we make up our minds that we are ready to leave, we go and we don't look back.

sounds to me liek she's frustrated. shes finding it hard to let u go becuase she loves u, but shes pissed becuase shes told u time n time again what she wnated changed and it jus hasnt happened. so she may feel liek shes wasted her youth in a way. im not sure im jus guessing, but it sound sliek she has lovers on the side, who are gfiving her everything shes wnated, liek i said, and so now shes constantly comparing u to them, shes finding out her worth.
not syaing theres no hope becuase she does love u, but u just gotta shuttup with ur defense mechanism, and ur ifs ands and buts, becuase this girl is half way out the door shes jus waiting for that extra push to send her away for good, or that extra pull to keep her with u.
so enuff dwaddling.

I so agree. I can feel the love grow each day, but it's got it's own way to test my patience = sounds to me liek she's frustrated. shes finding it hard to let u go becuase she loves u, but shes pissed becuase shes told u time n time again what she wnated changed and it jus hasnt happened. so she may feel liek shes wasted her youth in a way.

You're bang on! But the only thing being, that these lovers aren't in town. They're all long distance associations ? that's why every waking moment she's on the phone, texting, no matter what or how the other person feels about her giving them divided attention, ignores all remarks to put the phone away and be there beyond physically. And, for that matter, be online each day from 5pm thru 7pm, and 10pm thru midnight, no matter what! And that's with teh ID's i know, she does agree there are OTHER ID's that she has but won't tell me about em or who she has on em. And, that adds up cos she's always got phone bills of USD 30 ? 60, now she gets them for as much as 1000 ? 1500. = im not sure im jus guessing, but it sound sliek she has lovers on the side, who are giving her everything shes wnated, liek i said, and so now shes constantly comparing u to them, shes finding out her worth.

Please explain defense mechanism ? I handle this as far as I can? I'm pasting the past few days incidents for examples. Maybe you can comment on what I should have or should not have done. I've totally quit the emotional talks with her, and am cheerful and happy around her, and she's returning to her more normal too, but with all the cracks and more gaps than before under the surface. You can know more about this when you read all the posts I paste today = not syaing theres no hope becuase she does love u, but u just gotta shuttup with ur defense mechanism, and ur ifs ands and buts, becuase this girl is half way out the door shes jus waiting for that extra push to send her away for good, or that extra pull to keep her with u. so enuff dwaddling.

Hi Lil Ladie,

It seems to be getting better between us, by the day. From no talks, to a few talks, and spending the day with me. From no talks to few talks to fond conversations, to casual flirtation, to I love you's a few times a day. From her being like I don't want you to touch me, to a few hugs and kisses a day, and her wanting her neve-ending foot-rubs again. It all seems to be working out, since I've quit burdening her into fixing it now, and other emotional burden, and we're getting closer.

But I'm not sure if that' HOW IT SEEMS, or IS! She is on texts alllll the time. And her phone is password protected. She gets those mysterious phone calls and she has to excuse herself, which is NOT NORMAL ? she's always talked to anyone and about everything in front of me.

When confronted, she doesn't want to talk about it. And she agrees it's one of the guys, and it's ok for her do this, considering what I put her through. Besides, it's not like we're together, so it's her life! So, take it this way or do as u please for all I care!

When asked, if she's tiltin toward someone, she goes no. When asked, if she'd tell me if n when she did, or if n when she'd commit to someone, and not keep me waiting, she goes yes.

Other times, she's been like, you have nothing to be jealous of, or when I tell her you behave as tho u don't give a F abt how I feel when you do that, she's yeah I really don't but will laugh it off too!

Best of all, there have been times, when she'd call up, crying, that she's considering suicide & this is the last time we're talking and all? cos of all that's happenin in her life, no one caring about her medical issues in her family, her moving places (taureans hate changing homes I hope u know), her being unsure of her life without me, and me hurtin her so bad, she's worth no where no more and what not.. And then she'll hang up cos she doesn't wanna break down infront of me anymore. And then I'll wait, a few minutes, and call, and get her call waiting. And then try again in 30 mins, in 60 mins, in 90 mins, in 2 hours. And then she'll eventually call back, pissed at why I was at her case. And I'm like love, May I know who were you on with, I was worried about you. And she'll yell back ? No, You May Not! And we end the day with that. Next day when confronted if there was actually someone who can comfort her better than me and our common best friend, and she goes yes. But wont tell who or what.

What the hell is the mystery about? I've told her, that I'm aware that she's got other men in her life, She went, there are other men in my life now & this time may the best man win. I'm ok with that too, I know I can take it like a man, and I know I'd let her go if I were sure that someone loved her HALF as much as I do, but hey, friends talk their hearts out! Why is she keeping things ? when she calls me her best friend? And wants to be friends with me all her life? When it was her time, like 6 yrs back, she actually called up all the female friends on my phone book and asked them to bugger off the very day she and I were going steady. And now this from her end? Is it fair?

I'm going to share the past couple of days with you, and though it may seem totally unnecessary, here's a sneak peek into my life by the day, and what she's putting me through, and even though she agrees at times, it's not justified, other times she's like it is.

Like the day before, I reminded her first thing in the morning for her breakfast & pills, and then she called a bit later, and I told her I need to get my car from the service center, so if she could drive me there. She said she was not sure as she wasn't doing much other than going and spending the day at her sister's ? one of those days. Then again she called up and said she can't even get up and get out so her brother would come drive me to n fro to the service center. Once we guys were through with the service center, I called her and told her I was concerned for her being unwell and wanted to see her for just 10 minutes. She said she'd be sleeping so I should just see her another day. Wasn't too happy to hear that, but agreed. Sent a beautiful bunch of baby pink & lime yellow roses, with a get well soon & please smile note. She got that a couple of hours later, and she called up all chirpy, and asked me to come see her for the evening. I asked her if she was sure, since she wasn't too well. She said she was. So I went and spent a couple of hours with her & her mom. While I was leaving, she insisted she escorts me out ? got to the main door, and goes, Thank you for coming. I was like thank you for inviting me over. She goes, And where do you think you're going without my hug? I was like huh? She goes, come on, hug me. I did, for a split second, just patted her and parted ? I could feel me break down. And then she jus stood there at the door, while I walked down, and I was like go on inside. She goes, no you go firs

She goes, no you go first. And then she goes, I miss you, and I was like I miss you too babe! And she goes, I love you! And I was like, I love you too, more than my life! And we both jus stood there, staring at one another, and then her mom came around, so I walked on. Got home & texted her ? Thank you so very much for the evening. For a moment there, I stood completed, once again. She usually would never reply. But she replied. Goodnite Dad. That was touching.

On the other hand, yesterday was totally different. We didn't catch up cos I went to the suburbs for the business. And then I got through early and wanted to visit her, which she said she wasn't upto, so I went on home. No contact till almost midnite, when I sent her a msg to clarify something, and then we talked for a few minutes, when I told her I still melt at the way she sounds, and then told her I miss her and love her. And she reciprocated identically. And then I was like wherever you go, don't go too far, I cant live without huggin you in my deepest darkest hours. Then she goes ? lemme go? I was like you sure u want to, she goes no, but I cant b here. And then I was like im jus workin on the man you wanted, and not holding you back anymore. She was like, that's it, I cant leave cos I can see that happen. So I was like chill, we'll take it up another time. Then she called back in a few minutes, all chirpy like good ol times, singin along on her latest country music and meltin my heart. Till I heard her get online, got her coming online popup on my screen, and then she got a cpl of msgs, and then she suddenly went cold, and she's like lets talk online. And online, she would write ONE word every 5 minutes for 15 sentences id write. 2 hours later, I gave up. And said goodnite and signed off. She called to explain but I said I knew what it was, and we called it a night

Today, she was moving from her grandparents house, sorta mansion ? to her father's place, a farm house. So she'd expressed yesterday that she'd need help with moving the stuff. (I have a SUV that takes the payload of 4 car's boots). I was there 8, when she wanted me at 9. So she woke up as I got there. She's a doll, an absolute child, when she sleeps / jus wakes up. Like the old days, she wanted me to sit by her, hold her, run my hands through her hair & pamper her first thing in the mornings. That went well, like the good ol' times. Then she wanted to pack herself ? like a dozen suitcases and a dozen cartons ? while I jus sat there, lazin about, or reading the newspaper / magazines - which lasted well past lunch. And then we went to see her dietician, and then to her fathers'place.

Her kid bro and his friend were organizing a bbq in the evening ? so I was asked by her and her mom, to stay over. I agreed to stay past dinner, like 10pm. And then she got a call ? and she excused herself outta the room. But she was back in a moment. Anyhow, the guys were making a bbq outta an old drum, so we two, went to see that. And then, she got another call, and she made a gesture and started walkin away. And she was gone for like 30 mins. I knew what was happening! Mr. X or Y or Z had called. It was burning my blood, so I sent her a text saying I have a headache coming on, so if she could empty my car and I could leave, or she could keep my car and have me dropped home. She called me a few minutes over, to another part of the farm, and wanted me to sit & chit chat with her and her mom. I said I wasn't upto it, and headed to my car. It was hot & humid, so I switched on my car, ran the air-con, waitin for my car to be emptied out. She came and sat on the passenger seat while her mom went to get a few servants to empty out the car.

Then she goes, come inside, lemme get u a pill. I was like no, thanks, I need sleep. She was like come sleep a couple of hours and u'll be better. I was like no thanks I wanna go home. She was like I'll even press your head and sit by you while u sleep. I was like no thanks, I don't want that, it'll get me even more used to you, and you're hell bent on leaving. Finally, she was like, swear on me, this isn't about the phone call. I was like never mind. She asked a few times and then put her swear on me.

7 years and it's a rule ? there's no escaping or hiding anything over a swear. She tried tha a couple of times, and she was like, please stay, this is my first day here. It doesn't feel like home yet, you feel like home, please stay. I was like listen, I didn't take an off a work day, just to come dump your stuff. I wanted to help you move and help u unpack. But you make it so difficult for me. I cant handle it. So, no I really need to go.

That's when she gets off the car, and starts unloading herself, throwing things out. And I switched off the car, and tried talking her outta her rage. And I was lets talk this out and she wont listen. Finally I held her hand, drew her closer, and said, I love you. She pausd, and goes, I left this house 10 yrs back, and I'm here cos that home with you never happened. I was like babe, I'll make you that home, I'll give you all. I'm improving, I'm working on being the man you wanted & you agree I'm improving too. But why do you do things that just break me down? Then she's like, when you did it, I took it for 7 years. Now let's what you're left with in the name of shame, self-respect and dignity? And she wanted me to flare up even more!

At that point I jus laughed it off, and went, just one year yeah? I'd do this with a smile on my face if you promised to stop after a year and spend our lives together. Drew her closer and hugged and kissed her. She blushed, she smiled, and she pulled away, but was so confused at my reaction. But that was done there. And, we went back to her room, and we sat there, while her stuff arrived and all.

Around 8 again, We're I'd set up her computer and she was playing me music and singing along, you know, touch? stuff, that melts the other person, like the ol times. And then, she got a text. She replied to it, and within seconds, goes, I think it's time we went down to the bbq. I need to freshen up, and then take a quick shower, and I'll see you in the lawn in 15 minutes. I was like that

I was like that's ok, go on, while I play my kinda music. (I'm all pop, hip hop, techno, n all, and she's into country like mad)? So she goes, Naah! I need the room to change n all. You go down.

The way she made me go out, I could tell. So I went on down. And called her like 3 minutes. I got call waiting. She called back annoyed. I apologized. She came down 15 mins later. We sat around the bbq and were all having a good time, everyone but me. I couldn't help be upset with her and texts. So I finally an hour later, I claimed being very sleepy and said I'm off for the night. She wanted me to stay over, I declined. She came to the car to drop me off, and we shared a couple of kisses there, and a few hugs, and she was like, I'd wished you'd stay over, but then youre just a few miles away. I'll call if I need you. And I left. Usually, I call once home. But I didn't for an hour cos I went on a drive on the interstate. And she called, which never happens since the breakup. And I was like ill call back later ? I was doing 110 mph. She sounded concerned and I was like laters. And I got home and didn't call but texted. She texted back.

But I was concerned for her. So I txted her, sayin I left a note for her which was a surprise for her, but I thought id let her know before her mom finds it. And she called back and pestered me to tell her ? I did, and she melted when she read it, and we hung up after a cpl of warm words and I love you's.

I'm seeing her tomorrow again, first thing, for a morning walk. And then probably will be at the farm almost all day. But I'm not sure how to handle the annoyance of her always giving me divided attention. I probably also feel jealous, but that's only when I'm emotional. So it's more annoyance than jealousy. And when you tell her, I'm annoyed, she goes, that's just why I do it. Beats me!