Help I don't want to loose my Taurus man!

This topic was created in the Taurus forum by Oddball87 on Friday, March 31, 2017 and has 24 replies.
Ok so long story short I was married to an abusive man for 10 years, I finally left him and then met this incredible Taurus man. I told him everything that happened in my past and said I have trust issues. He has helped me work through that and the past 7 weeks have been amazing. Tonight he seemed a little off and when I asked him if he was ok he said he was just tired. When I got home a few hours later I felt something was off so I text him with:

I know you said you're just tired but I keep thinking it's something I've said or done ? but I'm probably just cray cray

His reply to this was:

To be honest i dont know if its something you said or something in my head but things dont feel right I've been trying to work out what it is for the past week now

I'm feeling so lost... I have been telling him I really really really really like him, but about a week ago I realised I have fallen in love with him, and I haven't had the courage to say it incase he isn't there yet or I make a fool out of myself. And now I'm wondering if by not saying it that that is what the problem is. I'm feeling so lost and confused. I don't know if he wants to break it off or not. But can anyone give me advice on what to do? I did send a text back saying I don't know what's happened but I'll give him as much space as I can so he can figure it out. I already feel devastated. I told myself not to fall for anyone again after my ex husband and it looks like I've gone and got myself hurt. I'm desperate to keep this Taurus in my life, but I feel doomed because I'm a Scorpio.

Wow, that literally sound very similar to what I'm going through with my Taurus now. He probably just needs his space but usually it's not personal until you keep bugging him about not telling his true feelings. Taurus are stubborn and do not like to be changed or rushed, he wants to take his time and think it out. They also have a terrible wondering eye and he may be trying to weigh out if he wants to commit. Definitely be understanding of his space and try not to be too intense. Giving him space is good he should contact you eventually just don't do what I did and try to contact him that's when it's personal. Let him come to you.
Ok radio silence it is! I did tell him I would give him his space and if he wanted to talk he knows where I am. And I also asked if he wanted to break it off i would understand and like it if he told me directly not just assumed I know. And then wished him a good night as usual. I will maintain radio silence, no matter how tempting a good morning handsome text is.

I feel like I'm re living the heart break from when I left my ex husband all over again.... This sucks balls... I should have sucked it up and just said the "I love you" words ?
I definitely can relate I also feel like I'm reliving the way my break from an abusive ex with my Taurus. I also ask my Taurus if he wanted to break up but he said no but I could sense that there was still something not right. I kept prying into it and eventually I made him want to break up when really he just wanted space. Taurus mean are very selfish when it come to emotional/mental things but very giving in other aspects. So if you don't allow them to have there space they will find anyone else who will.

You shouldn't have said I love you. honestly it's just a game with these men, most men in general enjoy the chase. When you reveal too much of yourself first it defeat the mystery.
I'm going to try and give him space... Even before I was emotionally invested (which I tried not to do) I enjoyed spending time with him... Ugh just so painful feeling like I've been shut out and he won't talk to me about it. And this night feels like it's a million years long because I've now made myself so upset I can't sleep ?
I understand I guess us scorpios are the same! I stayed up all night the night that my Taurus didn't contact me. But try to stay occupied with friends and family like it's not even on your mind.
Yea I was already thinking of what to do tomorrow that wouldn't invoke him/ seeing him or remind me of him... Lol I'm sure I can find something
I was with a Taurus aswell same sitch ur in n I thought he would be the one. Until he started playing hot and cold on me and I got too impatient for the games. I read up so much about it and apparently they do that if they like you. My ex was a user though he ended up marrying someone a month later after I left him, who was 20 years older then him not so attractive with 4 kids to support his scumbag insecure ass. Now I see why it didn't work had to always be something in it for him.
Yea I was already thinking of what to do tomorrow that wouldn't involve him / seeing him or remind me of him... Lol I'm sure I can find something
Posted by Rumz
I was with a Taurus aswell same sitch ur in n I thought he would be the one. Until he started playing hot and cold on me and I got too impatient for the games. I read up so much about it and apparently they do that if they like you. My ex was a user though he ended up marrying someone a month later after I left him, who was 20 years older then him not so attractive with 4 kids to support his scumbag insecure ass. Now I see why it didn't work had to always be something in it for him.
I know this guy isn't like that one you mentioned. I've known him long enough to know that feel sure. There's a few things that happened and he has said it has been since last week and we'll last weekend I did freak out on him. When I freak out I go silent. It was over something stupid that didn't mean anything but it still caused me to have a flashback about my ex husband. I'm sure it's all to do with that and he just doesn't know how to verbalise it or if to apologise or what. I'll give him space, he will work it out and what he wants and if that is me he will tell me and if it's not me then he will probably tell me at some point ?
Eh, give it time. I know scorps strong attachment can be devastating for the waiting period. But with taurus, there's really nothing you can do about it.

Try diverting your focus.

Again.

Again.

And again.
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100

I feel like I'm re living the heart break from when I left my ex husband all over again.... This sucks balls... I should have sucked it up and just said the "I love you" words ?"

Saying "I love you" to the Taurus in under 7 weeks of knowing him would have sent him running to the hills....

You should have waited until you were emotionally stable from the abusive relationship before trying to start this one... The Taurus should have been just a platonic friend.. Now you will suffer even more when your "relationship" with the taurus does not work out.. It won't... He's probably worried that he is the rebound guy or just happy to date you until something else comes along....
Oh busy eyes! Look at you, nice pic!
Oddball87....

Describe your courtship with this Taurus man for the seven weeks the two of you were dating...
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
Sorry to put yet another dampener on your dreams OP, but in under 2 months you have come out of an abusive 10 year relationship with your ex husband and straight into the arms of the Taurus!

Don't you think you should have waited until the ink was dry on your divorce papers and then spend some time on your own as a single woman before rushing headlong into the next relationship??!

That's just crazy... You are at your most weakest and vulnerable and you dive straight into another "relationship"...

It's not going to work long term with the taurus... Now things have cooled down and he has had time to think, he's probably thinking the same thing I'm thinking!

If you have been intimate with him during this 7 weeks, it can only mean just sex... The Taurus (he is also partly to blame) does not see long term potential right now...

Too much too soon...
It has been longer than 2 month since I left my husband. That has been over for 2 and a half years lol and I have known this Taurus for 6 months before this past 7 weeks. I was careful and want actually looking to date when we did meet, and then one day it just turned into something we both had to explore. I know j sound defensive but I didn't give too much info so it wasn't so long ?
Posted by TaurusBull1977
Oddball87....

Describe your courtship with this Taurus man for the seven weeks the two of you were dating...
Well to be honest I think he has been chasing me for much longer... I met him 6 months before hand. We met up twice in the first month for a casual drink and chat and a good laugh. I had told him I wasn't looking to date, I didn't think I was ready, he asked why I said I didn't want to bore him, he persisted so j told him. Since that day it has been pretty much multiple texts daily. I finally got some time where I could spend a decent amount of time with him because I wanted to see him. I had gotten to know him much better and felt comfortable so we went to the beach and had a lovely day that was full of a lot of flirting and I know both of us were being brave flirting like that. Ended up having dinner and when I was leaving he gave me a cuddle, and I kinda kissed him. He was a little shocked and said he didn't expect that but he said he really wanted to kiss me just didn't want me to think he was pushing me. He constantly told me sex wasn't important to him and to take our time. He said e was ready to take that step but it was all up to me to decide. That took me 4 weeks because that's just who I am. And it was amazing and has been amazing. He was even telling me how great it was and he constantly reminded me "I love your body" "you're and awesome girlfriend" etc the only thing I can think of is last weekend while having sex he slapped my face (I know it was a case of he was getting carried away and thought that would turn me on... Clearly doesn't) and I kind of freaked out and went silent. I told him later not to ever do that again and he said sorry e fucked up. All I said was its ok, it's done in over it and gave him a smile. And now he is saying he has had that "off" feeling since then. And the first I noticed anything was last night coz I'm an idiot ?
I also need to add we can't seem to go more than 2 days without seeing each other before we have to catch up for coffee or lunch.
Or going over and staying the weekend
I think you're at a crossroads with him. You need to handle this intelligently. Yes give him his space but I wouldn't drop off the face of the planet.

You don't know why he has gone silent. Don't start jumping to any wild conclusions and don't goad him into breaking up with you. Just be cool.

Give him a few days and then get in touch with him. Ask him how he has been and dont be weird. Just act normal.
Posted by jeane
I think you're at a crossroads with him. You need to handle this intelligently. Yes give him his space npbut I wouldn't drop off the face of the planet.

You don't know why he has gone silent. Don't start jumping to any wild conclusions and don't goad him into breaking up with you. Just be cool.

Give him a few days and then get in touch with him. Ask him how he has been and dont be weird. Just act normal.
Yea I'm just assuming now he feels weird about my freak out. We had to cancel plans because of rain and we were both a little Devo. He could tell I was tired and that wasn't helping me process my deal out zone. So he told me to go to bed and have a nap and even cuddled me until I fell asleep. Be played PlayStation for an hour on the bed next to me until I woke up. When I did wake up, he looked down to me, smiled that drop dean gorgeous smile and said "gosh I really really really really really really like you" that was the best thing to wake up too! I said I really liked him a lot too ? Hence why I'm now so confused that since last week he has felt really "off"

I won't drop off the face of the earth I'll just give him a few days and I'll text him if he hasn't texted me. If he is true to his form he will have texted me by tomorrow one way or the other and if not I'll text him the day after that just seeing how he is.
Face slapping during sex.....

LMAO....

I would leave it alone. You did nothing wrong. You had a right to be upset.

His issue not yours. Let him get over it!
Yea I know I guess it is something he needs to deal with. I just wish he would have just talked to me about this "off" feeling. Coz now I feel like a fool for not noticing it and thought everything was normal and going ok. And how he tried to cover it up saying he was just tired it was only later when I asked if he was sure he was ok and just tired he opened up and said it. He was acting fairly normal too on our movie date and his mood did line up with the tired excuse (he works odd hours) so I took his word for it and now I know the truth to it, I'm upset ?
Posted by Oddball87
Yea I know I guess it is something he needs to deal with. I just wish he would have just talked to me about this "off" feeling. Coz now I feel like a fool for not noticing it and thought everything was normal and going ok. And how he tried to cover it up saying he was just tired it was only later when I asked if he was sure he was ok and just tired he opened up and said it. He was acting fairly normal too on our movie date and his mood did line up with the tired excuse (he works odd hours) so I took his word for it and now I know the truth to it, I'm upset ?
They are not always great communicators. Plus they are guys. Unlike women who deal with things by talking it through, they figure things out on their own.
Posted by jeane
Posted by Oddball87
Yea I know I guess it is something he needs to deal with. I just wish he would have just talked to me about this "off" feeling. Coz now I feel like a fool for not noticing it and thought everything was normal and going ok. And how he tried to cover it up saying he was just tired it was only later when I asked if he was sure he was ok and just tired he opened up and said it. He was acting fairly normal too on our movie date and his mood did line up with the tired excuse (he works odd hours) so I took his word for it and now I know the truth to it, I'm upset ?
They are not always great communicators. Plus they are guys. Unlike women who deal with things by talking it through, they figure things out on their own.
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I'm trying to remember that. Still... I haven't managed to distract myself all day and I keep thinking about him. I'm so far into this dicksand it isn't even funny lol but I have made it this far resisting texting him. I almost gave in before because I wanna see him but I told myself no!
Yes he does know about the abuse I have suffered. He has shared his opinion on it and has been very understanding about it all actually. I'm assuming he has freaked out over something and doesnt know if it is all in his head or not. He will figure it out eventually and I'll get my answer either way. He has been really awesome but why flog a dead horse... If he doesn't think we are going anywhere well then it's time to move on huh. If like to fight to keep him but if that's just gonna drive him further away what's the point... I'm probably screwed no matter what I do anyway .