How do l know if Taurus man's feelings are real?
This topic was created in the Taurus forum by inlovewithtaurusman on Wednesday, September 14, 2011 and has 6 replies.
Met Taurus Man (TM) online six months ago, he lives in NY, l live in CA. He says he loves me, needs me and wants me to visit him and hook-up with him and his friends. The pace just seemed so fast but loving the attention. He is now applying the brakes, doesn't speak of love but of friendship and caring for me. Romantic posts, calls and letters are now half in volume and romance. He won't visit me, says he doesn't like California. How do l know if it is real, is he playing me. I really love him but can't afford to visit him, l think he can't afford to visit me and we're both too proud to say. Will he ever come to LA, l am now getting bored with the way nothing is moving forward but still love him. Please tell me how to get him to LA pronto
The first time I read this, I saw red flags with his behavior. Reading it the 2nd time, I still see red flags.
First off, I just don't understand how someone can say they love someone they've never met in person. I can see how someone may think they're in love with a voice or written words when that's all you have, but it takes so much more for love to be there.
The fact that he wants you to visit him because he doesn't like California seems selfish. Did he even offer to help pay for your trip there or is he just wanting YOU to drop everything and spend money you don't have to see him?
He's playing you or he was playing you. The fact that he's applied the brakes and is now talking friendship, he's doing you a favor. Find a nice guy local and move on from this flake.
First off, I just don't understand how someone can say they love someone they've never met in person. I can see how someone may think they're in love with a voice or written words when that's all you have, but it takes so much more for love to be there.
The fact that he wants you to visit him because he doesn't like California seems selfish. Did he even offer to help pay for your trip there or is he just wanting YOU to drop everything and spend money you don't have to see him?
He's playing you or he was playing you. The fact that he's applied the brakes and is now talking friendship, he's doing you a favor. Find a nice guy local and move on from this flake.
offer to pay half the expenses.
if you can't afford to pay half, you can't afford to be in a LDR.
if he can't come up with half, he can't either.
if you can't afford to pay half, you can't afford to be in a LDR.
if he can't come up with half, he can't either.
Houston Peach and Caligula, thanks for the advice so far, it helps to take a step back and look at it through other people's eyes. We haven't talked about how to make a visit happen, both find talking about money awkward. He thinks he'll try to visit LA next year but l can visit NY anytime, he's ready. I don't want to be doing all the work and feel if he wants me he needs to invest his time and energy into making it happen. I will be investing my time and energy hosting him. He's hardly calling now since l can't go to NY. I feel he's moved on, not that l ever had him physically had him!!
well, offer to go to NY if he foots half the bill. ie, have him pay for your plane ticket, you pay for the hotel.
ideally, he would come see you.
ideally, he would foot the bill entirely.
if you want to compromise on an ideal, then that's you settling for less than what you believe you deserve. if that be so, make your choice and live with the consequences.
without knowing too many details, it ain't gone work!
in an LDR, one/both parties has to be willing to close the physical gap and you don't do that with occasional flights to his/your city. sure, it enables you to figure out if you and the person are compatible, but does it really? you're on your best behavior, he's on his, are you really getting the full scope of this individual?
and what about employment? are you/is he willing to give up a job...even a job you hate and trade that for economic uncertainty?
if you're going to date online and date men who are not within an hour radius, then you need to find someone who from jump who is literally in the process of relocating OR you have to be willing to relocate yourself. otherwise, what's the point?
if you find a guy who's literally on the verge of moving to "x" state, he may choose to zero in on your state instead of state "x" IF the relationship is worth it to him. so the question is, does this guy seem like he's willing to move? if not, are you? and tbh, you stand a greater chance of not resenting your decision if he comes to you or you two mutually come together (move to a new place entirely) instead of the other way around.
ideally, he would come see you.
ideally, he would foot the bill entirely.
if you want to compromise on an ideal, then that's you settling for less than what you believe you deserve. if that be so, make your choice and live with the consequences.
without knowing too many details, it ain't gone work!
in an LDR, one/both parties has to be willing to close the physical gap and you don't do that with occasional flights to his/your city. sure, it enables you to figure out if you and the person are compatible, but does it really? you're on your best behavior, he's on his, are you really getting the full scope of this individual?
and what about employment? are you/is he willing to give up a job...even a job you hate and trade that for economic uncertainty?
if you're going to date online and date men who are not within an hour radius, then you need to find someone who from jump who is literally in the process of relocating OR you have to be willing to relocate yourself. otherwise, what's the point?
if you find a guy who's literally on the verge of moving to "x" state, he may choose to zero in on your state instead of state "x" IF the relationship is worth it to him. so the question is, does this guy seem like he's willing to move? if not, are you? and tbh, you stand a greater chance of not resenting your decision if he comes to you or you two mutually come together (move to a new place entirely) instead of the other way around.
Caligula, thanks for making it so crystal clear. If we can't compromise now there's no hope for the future. A good lesson in limiting the radius on LDR! Thanks again
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