How receptive is a taurus guy to genuine apology?

This topic was created in the Taurus forum by Starlight1234 on Thursday, October 16, 2014 and has 23 replies.
Hi there,
I??m new to this forum and was wondering if you could provide some thoughts on a situation I??m in (I'm sorry this is such a long post).
Late last year, I met a Taurus guy online (31 same age as me) via a message board, he noticed I was flying to the US from the UK to visit friends and go to an event, so he contacted me and started telling me about the place I was due to visit as that??s where he lives. It turned out he was going to the same event as I and we had the same friends, was so we started PMing back and forth about it since we had something in common and we started to get to know each other (we took it to Facebook and added each other on Twitter and Instagram) This went on for about 4-6 weeks prior to my visit and by the time I was due to fly out we agreed to meet one another and hang out. The trip was great and I had time to meet this guy and a few times during my 2 week visit I really enjoyed my time with him ??? we really clicked.
When I returned home we stayed in touch with each other and we talked almost every day either by FB messaging, iMessage and Skype, we??d often stay up all night talking away about anything and everything. Despite the time difference we made an effort to get to know one another. When he was having a really bad day I was there to listen and offer him my support and advice. When I had a minor operation or when I lost my job he was there for me. We flirted with each other all the time and this gradually increased more and more as time went on, it seemed he was really in to me and I was genuinely into him ??? I still am.
In May this year, he came over to Europe for some events that I was also going to and we agreed to spend 2 weeks with each other and our friends. We pretty much planned this trip together and talked about it nonstop for months (we started planning in January). I was so excited to see him again and I sensed he felt the same way too. Things went so well, we spent lots of time with each other, talking, sightseeing, going out to eat all that good stuff. We also hung out with our friends away from one another so we weren??t joined at the hip! I felt there was a lot of chemistry between us (even one of my friends commented on how well we got on and the subtle looks we would give each other, in fact at one of our events I was speaking to venue staff and one of them referred to him as my boyfriend! Which I to be honest, I really liked that... and he didn??t seem to mind either.
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I felt we were getting much closer to one another). Without going in to too much detail we did end up sleeping together. Multiple times. It felt right/natural. I think this is worth mentioning.
So we both went back to our respective homes and we still maintained contact. Everything seemed to be going as they were, we went back to FB messages, texts, Skype etc, as it was before we saw each other again. I missed him terribly and I told him and he would tell me he missed me too and would hint that I should fly back out to the US whenever I could but due to me loosing my job I wasn't sure when this would be but I had every intention to do it.
About 2 weeks after I got home, I went off on another trip to Paris lasting a week to visit some friends. We were still keeping in touch... kind off. About half way in to my trip I started to notice he was not liking/commenting on as many of my FB posts and photos (it seems so trivial right? But we were always ???around each other?? on social media, jengaging and joking with each other, you know?). I sent him an update telling him about my trip and the things that I saw and did, I got back to him on the things that he recommended and all he said was ???well, it looks like you had the best trip ever, didn??t you?!??? and that??s all he had to say. So, I let it go and asked him about how he was getting on, what he??d been up to, how he was getting settled back in to work and his messages were shorter than usual.
He went off on a two week holiday to visit family a few weeks ago (about 2 days after I got back from my 2nd trip) and I sent him a message wishing him a safe flight and to have lots of fun, to take photos etc, he acknowledged it by saying ???thank you, sweetie. I will.?? During that time I heard from him once. Which I thought was odd.
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Once he returned home, I left it about a week to hear back from him, nothing. So I asked him if everything was OK and how his trip was. We engaged in some small talk. He told me some things but I noticed something different in his response. Concise.
Eventually (towards the end of July), I had to ask him ???is everything OK... did I do something to piss you off???
He said, I hadn??t done anything at all and if I had he??d definitely tell me if I did and that he??d been distancing himself due to the UK/US distance and that he??s done long distance before and that it killed him on the inside. He also has some things going on with family (which I was fully aware of) and he??s been keeping to himself from people not just me. He said:-
"I wish things were different where we could simply see each other in the same city. its basically the whole long distance thing...i distanced myself from letting myself go that way...i probably felt like it would happen but that along with the family drama made me a bigger mess all around."

He also went on to say "I??m just a mess and I didn??t want any feelings to get involved. There! I said it!" (I have no idea whether he meant my feelings or his, in retrospect I wish I'd asked for clarification).
But this conversation was just bizarre, things kind of escalated quickly, horribly actually and I questioned him why he spend so much time engaging with me like if long distance was so much of an issue this whole time. Honest, to goodness this whole long distance issue came up in that conversation, like, out the blue and it left me thinking ???WTF?!?? but he maintains it was always there.
We exchanged some more messages that night and I got really upset with him and said some things that I wish I could take back. We??ve never argued like this before (we've disagreed, yes, but NEVER argued ). I then had to walk away from my laptop. When I returned I told him I was going deactivate my profile for a bit, I just need to stop any temptation of me contacting him and saying anything more and making things, much, much worse, little did he know I was crying so hard ??? I was heartbroken and I hated myself for saying those things to him 4 days later after I cooled down, I reactivated my account. Well, as soon as I did within an hour or two he had blocked me. I couldn??t help myself so I text ???you better not forget to delete me from twitter! ?? to which he responded ???you got it! *thumbs up emoji* ??? but he
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hasn't done that. A few hours later I text him to say, I'm so sorry I said those things to you, forgive me. But he didn't respond back.
I??ve been feeling absolutely heartbroken since we??ve argued, awful for what I said and now that he??s blocked me completely on Facebook, I was scared to contact him in case I made things worse but I also don??t want to lose him first and foremost as a friend so not sure how to go on from here.
So, from late July until this week, I didn't contact him. I'm going through some things, I've been finding it hard to find a job, I've had to move out my apartment, I thought it would be best to leave him alone and sort my life out. I've also had some time to think.
I sent him an email two days ago, I asked how he was, I apologized for all the mean things I said and how I acted. I didn't place any blame I took full responsibility for the way I behaved and explained I was in a bad place due to the personal things that were going on but it was inexcusable. I let my best friend read my email before I sent it and she said it was eloquently written and graceful.
So, can any taurus people give me some insight as to how they would respond to an email apology after over 2 months of no contact. What would your initial gut reaction be?
I??m sorry this is so long winded. I wanted to provide as much detail as possible. Any thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated.
Many thanks in advance.
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Sounds like you folks were off to a good start. What sign are you, btw?
Long distance is tough. Either his heart is in it, or it isn't. Sounds like the latter.
I'd accept the apology, of course. He sounds a tad childish but I'm sure he will accept it.
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Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
Sounds like you folks were off to a good start. What sign are you, btw?
Long distance is tough. Either his heart is in it, or it isn't. Sounds like the latter.
I'd accept the apology, of course. He sounds a tad childish but I'm sure he will accept it.


Thank you for responding. I thought so too. We really clicked, well... that's how I feel about it.
I'm a Sag (Sun and Moon, Libra rising.
So do you think he just enjoyed pursuing me but isn't really in it for the long haul or doesn't want to put the effort in?
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Posted by Starlight1234
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
Sounds like you folks were off to a good start. What sign are you, btw?
Long distance is tough. Either his heart is in it, or it isn't. Sounds like the latter.
I'd accept the apology, of course. He sounds a tad childish but I'm sure he will accept it.


Thank you for responding. I thought so too. We really clicked, well... that's how I feel about it.
I'm a Sag (Sun and Moon, Libra rising.
So do you think he just enjoyed pursuing me but isn't really in it for the long haul or doesn't want to put the effort in?
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Its really hard to tell why, but he just doesn't seem to want to do the long-distance thing. Could be a matter of possessiveness and trust, not really knowing what you're doing over there. It could be a matter of the lack of your physical presence just being too much of an issue for him - making it too hard for him to take the relationship seriously, making it too much of an effort to always communicate, etc. I think Taurus in general really need your physical presence.
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Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
Posted by Starlight1234
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
Sounds like you folks were off to a good start. What sign are you, btw?
Long distance is tough. Either his heart is in it, or it isn't. Sounds like the latter.
I'd accept the apology, of course. He sounds a tad childish but I'm sure he will accept it.


Thank you for responding. I thought so too. We really clicked, well... that's how I feel about it.
I'm a Sag (Sun and Moon, Libra rising.
So do you think he just enjoyed pursuing me but isn't really in it for the long haul or doesn't want to put the effort in?


Its really hard to tell why, but he just doesn't seem to want to do the long-distance thing. Could be a matter of possessiveness and trust, not really knowing what you're doing over there. It could be a matter of the lack of your physical presence just being too much of an issue for him - making it too hard for him to take the relationship seriously, making it too much of an effort to always communicate, etc. I think Taurus in general really need your physical presence.
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Sad
Do Taurus men get jealous? Maybe, during my trip away, he saw something on Facebook and got bothered by it? Or I shared too much with hum and he didn't like it because he wasn't a part of it? I don't initially go out of my way to make people jealous or rub their faces in it. Maybe I should have been more concious.
He has a lot of female friends and I would get envious that it wasn't me there with him but I don't retaliate.
I wish he would snap out of this blocking me nonsense. It's beyond silly now, it's been almost 3 months!
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This is what I see:
You told him he's awesome, but cant invest in seeing him (at least anytime soon).
And the you go on a trip to another city/country.
That sounds like a huge blow. I can see why he'd distance himself from that, it's a huge reality check and showed him his place. And perhaps, unfairly, is presuming you have time and money for things close by, but not him.
3 months is a really long time for a Taurus... I think its commendable that you reached out and apologized and were the bigger person. But he's taken his hurt and run with it, and the ball is in his court. You've done all you can. I hope he does grow out of it and reply to you soon!
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Posted by phEnyxBull876
This is what I see:
You told him he's awesome, but cant invest in seeing him (at least anytime soon).
And the you go on a trip to another city/country.
That sounds like a huge blow. I can see why he'd distance himself from that, it's a huge reality check and showed him his place. And perhaps, unfairly, is presuming you have time and money for things close by, but not him.
3 months is a really long time for a Taurus... I think its commendable that you reached out and apologized and were the bigger person. But he's taken his hurt and run with it, and the ball is in his court. You've done all you can. I hope he does grow out of it and reply to you soon!


Thanks for replying.
My second trip was organised and paid for before I lost my job. Otherwise I would not have gone. He knew all about my arrangements from the start and would talk to me about it.
When I returned home the reality hit me as well. I missed him deeply. He knows this I told him.
We'll I hope he realises my email was honest comes from the heart. I didn't get heavy in it either. I said I'm sorry I didnt get in touch, I thought he needed some space and so did I. I apologied for the things I said, I was out of line, and for the way I reacted, it was foolish and immature. I said I realised it would be hard to forgive me after that but I hoped he would. Our paths will cross again (they will!) and I hoped we could resolved things instead of continue with the animosity. Life if too short to let this stand in the way of the way of how things were. I hoped to hear back and said to take care.
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if he still has interest in you, he will be back.. after he has calm down..
and taurus needs security..
taurus dont do jealousy well especially if we dont feel secure..
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Thanks bullgirl.
I was reading our old FB messages last night feeling sad, I can't delete them, there's just too much there. He's such a good guy, sweet, I miss him terribly. He really put himself out there to me telling me some things.
"but believe me...i've lost a few friends because of me going into a shell and that sucks"
He had an argument with his sister... "she deleted me from fb a few years ago because i went into my famous shells at the time and i thought...really? me?" (and I kind of did the same thing by deactivating my account)
And what do I do, I go and let my emotions get in the way and act like a major asshole and I was mean to him a few days later. I bet he thinks I'm a horrible person.
I wish I knew how to regain his trust. I want my friend back Sad
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I thought I would provide our natal charts if that helps smile
Mine
Rising Sign 12 Degrees Libra
Sun is in 11 Degrees Sagittarius.
Moon is in 06 Degrees Sagittarius.
Mercury is in 29 Degrees Sagittarius.
Venus is in 27 Degrees Libra.
Mars is in 09 Degrees Libra.
Jupiter is in 19 Degrees Sagittarius.
Saturn is in 11 Degrees Scorpio.
Uranus is in 09 Degrees Sagittarius.
Neptune is in 28 Degrees Sagittarius.
Pluto is in 01 Degrees Scorpio.
N. Node is in 15 Degrees Gemini

His (time of birth unknown)
Rising Sign 08 Degrees Leo
Sun is in 12 Degrees Taurus.
Moon is in 27 Degrees Capricorn.
Mercury is in 25 Degrees Taurus.
Venus is in 23 Degrees Gemini.
Mars is in 20 Degrees Taurus.
Jupiter is in 08 Degrees Sagittarius.
Saturn is in 00 Degrees Scorpio.
Uranus is in 08 Degrees Sagittarius.
Neptune is in 28 Degrees Sagittarius.
Pluto is in 27 Degrees Libra.
N. Node is in 25 Degrees Gemini.
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Starlight1234,
Let it go. apologise once. done.
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Posted by M143
Starlight1234,
Let it go. apologise once. done.



I agree, I know it's hard. I'm currently in a similar situation and maybe much worse. On one hand, I'm telling myself to let him go, while on the other hand I can't and it hurts.. But I have learn a lot through the process.
You have done what you can do and there nothing much you could do now.
You might push him further away if you try too hard now.
Not sure if this is advisable, but If you want, you can tap on him later..
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@M143 @bullbullgirl You're both right. I should let it go - I've apologized and I've let him know where I stand. The last thing I want to do is to push him further way and make things worse.
The silent treatment is harsh isn't it. It's punishing! LOL!
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Starlight1234, don't worry, you will be fine. smile
I'm worse than you, my guy, or should I called him ex-guy, told me indirectly to leave him alone and that he doesn't want a relationship with me, but I will go back and tap on him every now and then. He would still reply me. For me, I'm trying to restart it as friend, which is very hard because of our history.
You will be fine.
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Posted by bullbullgirl
Starlight1234, don't worry, you will be fine. smile
I'm worse than you, my guy, or should I called him ex-guy, told me indirectly to leave him alone and that he doesn't want a relationship with me, but I will go back and tap on him every now and then. He would still reply me. For me, I'm trying to restart it as friend, which is very hard because of our history.
You will be fine.


I hope you and your Taurus guy will work out. There must be something there if he keeps responding. But ignoring you is cruel. One thing I hate more than anything in the world is being ignored and not knowing anything. It's mean.
Thanks for replying.
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Still no reply, no acknowledgment. Nothing. Sad this is absolutely excruciating! As someone who's inquisitive and likes I know and have answers this is doing my head in big time!
Sorry, I just need to vent. I feel uncomfortable approaching our mutual friends about it to ask how he is, I don't like involving other people like that. But I do wonder about him, I hope he's ok Sad
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Posted by Starlight1234
Still no reply, no acknowledgment. Nothing. Sad this is absolutely excruciating! As someone who's inquisitive and likes I know and have answers this is doing my head in big time!
Sorry, I just need to vent. I feel uncomfortable approaching our mutual friends about it to ask how he is, I don't like involving other people like that. But I do wonder about him, I hope he's ok Sad


I know it is hard. I hate the shut out too. I think my best advice is to make yourself busy and occupy your thoughts with something else. What is an excruciating wait for you might be a blink of an eye for him. As they say 'a watched pot never boils'.
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Posted by phEnyxBull876
This is what I see:
You told him he's awesome, but cant invest in seeing him (at least anytime soon).
And the you go on a trip to another city/country.
That sounds like a huge blow. I can see why he'd distance himself from that, it's a huge reality check and showed him his place. And perhaps, unfairly, is presuming you have time and money for things close by, but not him.
3 months is a really long time for a Taurus... I think its commendable that you reached out and apologized and were the bigger person. But he's taken his hurt and run with it, and the ball is in his court. You've done all you can. I hope he does grow out of it and reply to you soon!



True true! You've done all you can. Taurus tends to be like that sometime. Just give him some space and let him be for a while. From my experience, he will definitely accept the apology. smile
Good luck smile
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Posted by jeane
Posted by Starlight1234
Still no reply, no acknowledgment. Nothing. Sad this is absolutely excruciating! As someone who's inquisitive and likes I know and have answers this is doing my head in big time!
Sorry, I just need to vent. I feel uncomfortable approaching our mutual friends about it to ask how he is, I don't like involving other people like that. But I do wonder about him, I hope he's ok Sad


I know it is hard. I hate the shut out too. I think my best advice is to make yourself busy and occupy your thoughts with something else. What is an excruciating wait for you might be a blink of an eye for him. As they say 'a watched pot never boils'.

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Thanks for responding. I've got to keep busy and stop mulling over him. It doesn't seem like he's putting in the same energy and thought over me so... :/
Thanks again.
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Posted by 18scorpio
Posted by phEnyxBull876
This is what I see:
You told him he's awesome, but cant invest in seeing him (at least anytime soon).
And the you go on a trip to another city/country.
That sounds like a huge blow. I can see why he'd distance himself from that, it's a huge reality check and showed him his place. And perhaps, unfairly, is presuming you have time and money for things close by, but not him.
3 months is a really long time for a Taurus... I think its commendable that you reached out and apologized and were the bigger person. But he's taken his hurt and run with it, and the ball is in his court. You've done all you can. I hope he does grow out of it and reply to you soon!



True true! You've done all you can. Taurus tends to be like that sometime. Just give him some space and let him be for a while. From my experience, he will definitely accept the apology. smile
Good luck smile
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I've learnt so much about Taurus folk, it's been very insightful. Mostly good (which reconfirms some of the lovely things I've thought about this man) and some not so great, which I'm learning about now, i.e. the silent treatment and withdrawing.
Perhaps someone could give their opinion on this, in a situation like mine do Taurus men move on to the next person quickly after you? It's not really a question I'm comfortable asking our mutual friends about tbh :/
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