How to get my Taurus friend of 7 years to open up to me?
This topic was created in the Taurus forum by ScorpioG1rl20 on Monday, March 5, 2018 and has 22 replies.
Hi. Since my other thread was ignored, I made another one. PLEASE HELP AS I CRIED A LOT BECAUSE OF THIS.
How do I get my Taurus best friend of 7 years to open up to me?
Due to stupid things I said when I was a teen (I apologised), I feel like I lost his trust, but at the same time, it doesn't seem like it as he still reveals things about him (nothing major) sometimes, and he trusted me with account info for a video game.
I want him to open up if possible. He doesn't even tell me how he is feeling. It is very hard and friendship is connected to my honour. I want to be the best friend possible, otherwise I am doing bad.
How do I get my Taurus best friend of 7 years to open up to me?
Due to stupid things I said when I was a teen (I apologised), I feel like I lost his trust, but at the same time, it doesn't seem like it as he still reveals things about him (nothing major) sometimes, and he trusted me with account info for a video game.
I want him to open up if possible. He doesn't even tell me how he is feeling. It is very hard and friendship is connected to my honour. I want to be the best friend possible, otherwise I am doing bad.
I think you had the wrong idea about me. I know that you receive what you give. And compassion/empathy, honesty, loyalty, trust, altruism and respect are essential to me.
I give him a lot of respect and I love him dearly, I have apologised for stupid things I said when I was a teenager (years ago), that was the reason I thought he lost his trust in me, I probably hurt him that time, but it's been years, and he doesn't even seem to remember these things, or at least pretends not to. He doesn't argue with me about that either. And I only said these stupid things because he had revealed a lot of info about himself and I didn't know how to react.
We have a deep connection and he always stayed by my side, when we lost contact for whatever reason, he always came back and so did I.
I am extremely loyal, friends are the most important thing to me and he is my best friend. I feel very dishonoured that he doesn't seem to open up to me as it feels like it's due to a lack of trust.
We are very much alike, we have the same interests and everything, but he never tells me how he is feeling, I want to help him if he needs me. I didn't do anything wrong to break his trust except saying the aforemented stupid things, but I was a teenager, I didn't know anything. He also hurt me a few times but I always forgave him.
I almost feel like giving up the whole friendship. He makes time for me, and always tries to contact me but I am starting to get really nervous. I don't want to be a bad friend!!
I even showed him my picture (we are online friends) and I talk about myself but he almost never says anything about himself!
I give him a lot of respect and I love him dearly, I have apologised for stupid things I said when I was a teenager (years ago), that was the reason I thought he lost his trust in me, I probably hurt him that time, but it's been years, and he doesn't even seem to remember these things, or at least pretends not to. He doesn't argue with me about that either. And I only said these stupid things because he had revealed a lot of info about himself and I didn't know how to react.
We have a deep connection and he always stayed by my side, when we lost contact for whatever reason, he always came back and so did I.
I am extremely loyal, friends are the most important thing to me and he is my best friend. I feel very dishonoured that he doesn't seem to open up to me as it feels like it's due to a lack of trust.
We are very much alike, we have the same interests and everything, but he never tells me how he is feeling, I want to help him if he needs me. I didn't do anything wrong to break his trust except saying the aforemented stupid things, but I was a teenager, I didn't know anything. He also hurt me a few times but I always forgave him.
I almost feel like giving up the whole friendship. He makes time for me, and always tries to contact me but I am starting to get really nervous. I don't want to be a bad friend!!
I even showed him my picture (we are online friends) and I talk about myself but he almost never says anything about himself!
You only know each other through online?
What do you mean about "friend"? I don't think he's fake but sometimes I believe I put too much in the relationship and don't receive enough. And yes we have known each other online for 7 years since we were teens. I want to meet him but I'm not sure if he'd accept. I tried being indirect but that didn't work.
I am 19, will be 20 in November and he will be 21 in May. And yes I do love him romantically, I tried to give up these feelings because it was selfish, but I still cannot. However he would still mean a lot to me even if I didn't love him romantically. He taught me a lot of stuff and he appeared in my life at a time I needed someone, he's important to me, and I also try to do good things for him.
Posted by ScorpioG1rl20I think if you've only known each other online you're going to have an up hill battle.
What do you mean about "friend"? I don't think he's fake but sometimes I believe I put too much in the relationship and don't receive enough. And yes we have known each other online for 7 years since we were teens. I want to meet him but I'm not sure if he'd accept. I tried being indirect but that didn't work.
Try not to take his silence on the matter personally. It's not that he doesn't trust you (women often interpret it this way). He is a private person. He most likely doesn't want to burden you while also wanting to sort things out himself.
Just continue to be a good friend. Share some jokes, have some laughs.
Thank you jeane! I really wish I could meet him IRL. He is private, but I thought there was something wrong with me as well.
Yes, it hurts to be just friends. However I don't think he loves me romantically so I tried to ignore these feelings. I had actually confessed to him before but he just ignored me. I just want to be with him, doesn't matter if we are a romantic pair or not, although it is hard like you said!
Yes, it hurts to be just friends. However I don't think he loves me romantically so I tried to ignore these feelings. I had actually confessed to him before but he just ignored me. I just want to be with him, doesn't matter if we are a romantic pair or not, although it is hard like you said!
Haha, great. I'll use that trick some day 
Well - he isn't broken! He still talks to me. But I keep wondering if everything is alright.
Well - he isn't broken! He still talks to me. But I keep wondering if everything is alright.
Posted by ScorpioG1rl20
Thank you jeane! I really wish I could meet him IRL. He is private, but I thought there was something wrong with me as well.
Yes, it hurts to be just friends. However I don't think he loves me romantically so I tried to ignore these feelings. I had actually confessed to him before but he just ignored me. I just want to be with him, doesn't matter if we are a romantic pair or not, although it is hard like you said!
No, nothing wrong with you. It's just how they are.
My partner took at least 12 months before he really opened up to me and we were in a relationship! so don't take it personally.
Maybe you'll meet one day. If it's meant to be then it will happen naturally.
Thank you! You guys cheered me up a lot! I think we will meet, hopefully. I know that we are destined to be together as friends. And I don't even believe in destiny that much, but we never left each other.
I don't need him to tell me his secrets, but I just want to know basic things about him, how he is feeling, what he wants to do in life, I don't know, things that friends usually tell each other? Although yes I may be acting impatient... I wasn't like this, but I get curious, and I got tired of waiting... :S
Posted by edgelordYeah I do love him romantically but I don't want to, it's selfish. I haven't said anything about that in years. His wellbeing is more important than my feelings, so we are just friends.
i'm a taurus. i have a shit ton of scorpio friends and relatives. i'll tell you this. you're pressuring him to open up because you're in love with him and the reason he's not opening up the way you want him to is because he doesn't feel the same way. you're not gonna ever change his mind if he ignored you about his declaration. i've friends placed scorpios my entire life. i know how that shit goes. my current bff right now is a scorpio woman i friends placed. we jokingly flirt sometimes but the boundary is there. and will not change.
I don't need him to tell me his secrets, but I just want to know basic things about him, how he is feeling, what he wants to do in life, I don't know, things that friends usually tell each other? Although yes I may be acting impatient... I wasn't like this, but I get curious, and I got tired of waiting... :S
I just want to know how he is doing and who he is, what he dreams of... it's almost as if he was a stranger to me! He always talks about his interests, and this is a favourite topic of mine, as well, but I want more.
I don't need to know his deepest secrets or anything too personal but damn, I want to support and help him if he needs anything, too. I don't mind my feelings being unrequited, that is long past. Hopefully there will be an upgrade and hopefully we will meet, because maybe the problem is that we are online mates only.
*shrug* I want to make things right. He is one of the few Tauruses I know, as well, so I've never dealt with someone with this kind of personality before. I honestly didn't believe in Astrology that much until a while ago, I wanted to know if there was an explanation for my behaviour and of others... it was very magical how we first met, too, we clicked instantly.
I don't need to know his deepest secrets or anything too personal but damn, I want to support and help him if he needs anything, too. I don't mind my feelings being unrequited, that is long past. Hopefully there will be an upgrade and hopefully we will meet, because maybe the problem is that we are online mates only.
*shrug* I want to make things right. He is one of the few Tauruses I know, as well, so I've never dealt with someone with this kind of personality before. I honestly didn't believe in Astrology that much until a while ago, I wanted to know if there was an explanation for my behaviour and of others... it was very magical how we first met, too, we clicked instantly.
Sounds to me maybe he doesn’t want more, that hes not romantically involved like you are and that’s why he ignored you when you brought it up and doesn’t share private stuff with you. As a Taurus, I do that to those that want to be romantic with me, but that I’m not interested in them like that.
I don't want anything romantic with him! It doesn't matter if I love him or not, I want to give up these feelings. I just want to be friends. Is that not enough for him to open up? We are _simply_ friends. I think he confides in other people but not me. Maybe I am too impatient but I waited 7 years. :/
Posted by SpaceBirdThank you so much. I'll try. I have been so worried, seriously.Posted by ScorpioG1rl20Be 111100% trustworthy. Then give him time to find out.
Hi. Since my other thread was ignored, I made another one. PLEASE HELP AS I CRIED A LOT BECAUSE OF THIS.
How do I get my Taurus best friend of 7 years to open up to me?
Due to stupid things I said when I was a teen (I apologised), I feel like I lost his trust, but at the same time, it doesn't seem like it as he still reveals things about him (nothing major) sometimes, and he trusted me with account info for a video game.
I want him to open up if possible. He doesn't even tell me how he is feeling. It is very hard and friendship is connected to my honour. I want to be the best friend possible, otherwise I am doing bad.click to expand
Posted by DarkIsTheNightBut do you trust friends? Or just romantic partners? Is there no way he will open up? He doesn't need to but it would be cool, I could try to help him more, give him support. We have **nothing** romantic and I don't expect anything. My feelings are just mine and I don't mind if he isn't interested in me. We are friends only.
Sounds to me maybe he doesn’t want more, that hes not romantically involved like you are and that’s why he ignored you when you brought it up and doesn’t share private stuff with you. As a Taurus, I do that to those that want to be romantic with me, but that I’m not interested in them like that.
Posted by edgelordWhat if the friendship is platonic? I don't flirt with him or anything. I **don't want** to like him romantically anymore because it is selfish. I just want him to tell me how he's doing and if he's healthy, at least that much. I don't need to have a romantic relationship with him, I know he is not in love with me, and I have known that for many years.
i'm a taurus. i have a shit ton of scorpio friends and relatives. i'll tell you this. you're pressuring him to open up because you're in love with him and the reason he's not opening up the way you want him to is because he doesn't feel the same way. you're not gonna ever change his mind if he ignored you about his declaration. i've friends placed scorpios my entire life. i know how that shit goes. my current bff right now is a scorpio woman i friends placed. we jokingly flirt sometimes but the boundary is there. and will not change.
Posted by ScorpioG1rl20You say that loving him is selfish. This overwhelming need of yours for him to "open up" is selfish. Leave him be. Accept him as he is. Maybe he doesn't want or need your help.Posted by DarkIsTheNightBut do you trust friends? Or just romantic partners? Is there no way he will open up? He doesn't need to but it would be cool, I could try to help him more, give him support. We have **nothing** romantic and I don't expect anything. My feelings are just mine and I don't mind if he isn't interested in me. We are friends only.
Sounds to me maybe he doesn’t want more, that hes not romantically involved like you are and that’s why he ignored you when you brought it up and doesn’t share private stuff with you. As a Taurus, I do that to those that want to be romantic with me, but that I’m not interested in them like that.click to expand
You want him to open up so you can feel good. This is about you.
Posted by jeaneI am not usually like this, or at least I try not to be. I haven't been doing well mentally, I have been selfish in this regard, wanting him to open up, etc, and I've also been impatient as I often think that everybody wants to leave me and I also wanted to meet him IRL since I am lonely and need company.Posted by ScorpioG1rl20You say that loving him is selfish. This overwhelming need of yours for him to "open up" is selfish. Leave him be. Accept him as he is. Maybe he doesn't want or need your help.Posted by DarkIsTheNightBut do you trust friends? Or just romantic partners? Is there no way he will open up? He doesn't need to but it would be cool, I could try to help him more, give him support. We have **nothing** romantic and I don't expect anything. My feelings are just mine and I don't mind if he isn't interested in me. We are friends only.
Sounds to me maybe he doesn’t want more, that hes not romantically involved like you are and that’s why he ignored you when you brought it up and doesn’t share private stuff with you. As a Taurus, I do that to those that want to be romantic with me, but that I’m not interested in them like that.
You want him to open up so you can feel good. This is about you.click to expand
Although him opening up is not about feeling good about myself, I am depressed all the time, 24/7, so that wouldn't help much. I try to generally put others before me, the thing is, I want to make someone's day good even if mine isn't. If I can help them, that's cool. I've been f&cked over because I was too "innocent". I've been taken advantage of but I didn't care, I thought I deserved it, and I probably did.
Sorry. I accept him who he is, I just wonder if he does the same in regards to me. I have a lot of problems and I worry a lot if people accept me, if I'm being a good person, etc. I've dealt with some things in the past that affected my self-esteem severely, and these past few months I'm so much in my head that I haven't been thinking clearly either. Isolation and anxiety did that to me. I also had never dealt with someone who didn't even want to tell me how their day was, I thought it was my fault for some reason. I never bothered to ask him about things before, I know he is this way. However I don't know what possessed me to be this impatient now.
Like I have been thinking for a while, perhaps it's best if I stop talking to people completely, and abandon all friendships I have.
I will have to apologise to my friend and to others once again for being a bad person.
I have absolutely NO IDEA how I got like this and I am feeling ashamed and guilty. I would rather not talk to anybody and end up being alone (so others are happier as a result), than to talk to somebody for my own wellbeing and "pleasure" but cause them harm. I have specific philosophies in life and one of the first things you have to understand is the concept of selflessness. I have failed.
Anatta is "nonself" and very important in Buddhism for example, and it is important to me as well, I want to. I should know better, I have seen closely what negative emotions do.
People ar enot always what they seem, don't let yourself get so caught up in this idea of him that you have created. Nothing is certain until you are in his presence, feel his energy and vibe. He could be a total fuckoff. Protect yourself, you are definitely too invested with someone you haven't met yet...
Also that is one reason why Taurus and Scorpio don't work, they move in different ways. I struggled with going deep with my taurus ex because really... he's not that deep. He was more of a simple person, interested in trivial things in life where as a Scorp looks for depth, emotion, and energy. Nothing wrong with that, just fundamentally different and is why we are so attracted to each other. Scorpio wants balance and simplicity that on its own is hard to get... Taurus wants vice versa.
What I've learned is to be with a Taurus, it must be in person.
What I've learned is to be with a Taurus, it must be in person.
Posted by ScorpioG1rl20Wait a minute...if he doesn’t even tell you if he is ok and healthy...what is this friendship based on for 7 years?Posted by edgelordWhat if the friendship is platonic? I don't flirt with him or anything. I **don't want** to like him romantically anymore because it is selfish. I just want him to tell me how he's doing and if he's healthy, at least that much. I don't need to have a romantic relationship with him, I know he is not in love with me, and I have known that for many years.
i'm a taurus. i have a shit ton of scorpio friends and relatives. i'll tell you this. you're pressuring him to open up because you're in love with him and the reason he's not opening up the way you want him to is because he doesn't feel the same way. you're not gonna ever change his mind if he ignored you about his declaration. i've friends placed scorpios my entire life. i know how that shit goes. my current bff right now is a scorpio woman i friends placed. we jokingly flirt sometimes but the boundary is there. and will not change.click to expand
What DOES he tell you?
Posted by ScorpioG1rl20Posted by jeaneI am not usually like this, or at least I try not to be. I haven't been doing well mentally, I have been selfish in this regard, wanting him to open up, etc, and I've also been impatient as I often think that everybody wants to leave me and I also wanted to meet him IRL since I am lonely and need company.Posted by ScorpioG1rl20You say that loving him is selfish. This overwhelming need of yours for him to "open up" is selfish. Leave him be. Accept him as he is. Maybe he doesn't want or need your help.Posted by DarkIsTheNightBut do you trust friends? Or just romantic partners? Is there no way he will open up? He doesn't need to but it would be cool, I could try to help him more, give him support. We have **nothing** romantic and I don't expect anything. My feelings are just mine and I don't mind if he isn't interested in me. We are friends only.
Sounds to me maybe he doesn’t want more, that hes not romantically involved like you are and that’s why he ignored you when you brought it up and doesn’t share private stuff with you. As a Taurus, I do that to those that want to be romantic with me, but that I’m not interested in them like that.
You want him to open up so you can feel good. This is about you.
Although him opening up is not about feeling good about myself, I am depressed all the time, 24/7, so that wouldn't help much. I try to generally put others before me, the thing is, I want to make someone's day good even if mine isn't. If I can help them, that's cool. I've been f&cked over because I was too "innocent". I've been taken advantage of but I didn't care, I thought I deserved it, and I probably did.
Sorry. I accept him who he is, I just wonder if he does the same in regards to me. I have a lot of problems and I worry a lot if people accept me, if I'm being a good person, etc. I've dealt with some things in the past that affected my self-esteem severely, and these past few months I'm so much in my head that I haven't been thinking clearly either. Isolation and anxiety did that to me. I also had never dealt with someone who didn't even want to tell me how their day was, I thought it was my fault for some reason. I never bothered to ask him about things before, I know he is this way. However I don't know what possessed me to be this impatient now.
Like I have been thinking for a while, perhaps it's best if I stop talking to people completely, and abandon all friendships I have.
I will have to apologise to my friend and to others once again for being a bad person.
I have absolutely NO IDEA how I got like this and I am feeling ashamed and guilty. I would rather not talk to anybody and end up being alone (so others are happier as a result), than to talk to somebody for my own wellbeing and "pleasure" but cause them harm. I have specific philosophies in life and one of the first things you have to understand is the concept of selflessness. I have failed.
Anatta is "nonself" and very important in Buddhism for example, and it is important to me as well, I want to. I should know better, I have seen closely what negative emotions do.click to expand
You're not a bad person but it sounds like you have a lot to work through. I wouldnt suggest isolating yourself but I also wouldnt rely on people to make you happy or give you your self worth. Thats a lot of power to give to someone, especially someone you've never met.
You have to be happy in yourself and then it won't matter what others do, you know you are good either way.
Is there someone you can talk to about how you are feeling?
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