How to put the Taurus Fan club in CHECK

Little advice is much needed.
So, my Taurus boyfriend will always have a fan club. I just have to accept that. He is more than capable of keeping friendships with women completely platonic, and we have no trust issues. HOWEVER, his fan club annoys the crap out of me. He has a friend in another state, A TAURUS WOMAN, who is morbidly obese- but very "sweet" ( I think it's fake). She's clearly in love with him. Very manipulative too. After she found out he and I started dating she added me on facebook and started PMing me and kissing my butt, saying I'm so cool and she knows we would get along. I totally saw this as PHONY and was polite, but not wildly responsive. That being said, she just posted this on facebook:

"I don't know why. I am getting kinda sick and I feel kinda like curling up in a ball and cuddling with... you know who you are. We can have a big sleepover. Yay! Ah... low energy I need a booster!" Then tagged my boyfriend first, then four other guys. This is totally NOT appropriate in my opinion. You won't be cuddling with my man. In reality, it's a non issue. She will never be with him. He is 100 percent with me, but my LEO fire just wants to bite her fxking head off or say something to check her.

He however, is a sensitive soul and will not like that I JUST KNOW. Also, it's delicate, because he thinks she is not in love wit him and is so dumb about all of that (or plays it well enough). So it will instantly make me look like the bad guy. What do I do about that? Cause I've seen a few things from her and the rage is building up. I will eventually say something it's just a matter of when where and how bc she obviously doesn't understand the word boundaries and manners.

LOL! Trust me when I tell you, this is delicate. My boyfriend is like suck a sucker for need to be needed crap and she gave him some story about how they were friendship soul mates and he totally ate it up. She knows how to work him, as a friend, but shes very unattractive and in another state, so it will never go any further than that. Because it's delicate, I have to be careful, or it will easily be twisted that I'm the jerk.


What might be best is to have my boyfriend tell her that. And speak to him about it. More like, You handle it, it's YOUR friend. Should I state something public on facebook on the status, or pm her?


Gotta be extra tactical. Gut is telling me. But something has to be done. That's too far.

the word: GRACE keeps playing over and over in my head.
How can I handle this with grace but firmness?
That would be definitely not to blow up or show anger,
but also not to pretend it didn't happen....

Pfft.. I know it's easier said than done but try not to worry about it. If he's in love with you and happy, he's most likely oblivious to any other women that might be interested in him. Us Taureans can be really blind when it comes to people taking an interest in us, even when we're single, trust me on that one. As far as that chick goes, she'll eventually figure out that her efforts are going nowhere. Eventually. It'll sink in.

Posted by Rabbit

Set a bear trap baited with bacon and Little Debbie's....

LOL! Hilarious.

Posted by PVAF

Posted by thescepter
lol@pvaf #nonewcuddlesoulmates

I'd send her a teddy bear. 😄 But she couldn't cuddle with my man.

A teddy bear made of razor blades 🙂

Posted by Theatrum
Pfft.. I know it's easier said than done but try not to worry about it. If he's in love with you and happy, he's most likely oblivious to any other women that might be interested in him. Us Taureans can be really blind when it comes to people taking an interest in us, even when we're single, trust me on that one. As far as that chick goes, she'll eventually figure out that her efforts are going nowhere. Eventually. It'll sink in.

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Yea, I agree. Best quote of all time is "muddy water becomes clear when you let it settle." And I've noticed peoples true intentions are always revealed in time. He and I are solid. If she continues, I will ask him to say something but at this point I'm going to ignore her..bc what she's clearly vying for is MORE ATTENTION. Pathetic. Also, I'm probably going to make a strong move to block her next week. I know she will say something to him and him to me, so I'm gonna see if I still feel that way next week. Gotta chose my battles..

Posted by PVAF

Posted by anonymousheart
LOL! Trust me when I tell you, this is delicate. My boyfriend is like suck a sucker for need to be needed crap and she gave him some story about how they were friendship soul mates and he totally ate it up. She knows how to work him, as a friend, but shes very unattractive and in another state, so it will never go any further than that. Because it's delicate, I have to be careful, or it will easily be twisted that I'm the jerk.


What might be best is to have my boyfriend tell her that. And speak to him about it. More like, You handle it, it's YOUR friend. Should I state something public on facebook on the status, or pm her?


Gotta be extra tactical. Gut is telling me. But something has to be done. That's too far.

He needs to be the one who tells her, she's his friend. Other wise she will assume you are jealous, and feel encouraged that she may have a real chance with him. Which means it will happen again. Then you may reach out and touch her for real. LOL.

But for real he needs to set done boundaries. Don't care what he did before you. Now that he is with you, that type of talk from her is not appropiate. She wanna cuddle with him cause they friendship soul mates. Get the fuck outta here. He need to put her in her place and quick. That even pissed me off and I don't even know y'all. LOL!

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Great advice! I totally agree. He should tell her, not you. Don't allow her to create any friction between the both of you which sounds like she is trying to do.

Posted by Rabbit

Set a bear trap baited with bacon and Little Debbie's....

That would totally work! BEST ADVICE AWARD!!!

"He probably is oblivious though. He obviously doesn't even consider her a factor. Its just the principle of the matter."

Precisely. It's disrespect. Point blank.

She wrote me like a week ago saying "you're so cool I just know we would be best friends. you would make a really good roomate hehe."

Creepy. I don't EVEN KNOW YOU.

Real Talk translation: I want to get close to you so I can get even closer to your boyfriend. Why don't you guys move in so we can all cuddle and I can push you off the bed in the middle of the night! 😄

LOL. You are toooooo funny girl! Let us pity her...gracefully.

Posted by Impulsv
It's time for ur taurus man to set the boundaries. She crossed a line I agree with u.

Hmm, but don't you think that if I tell him to do that, it will just drive more attention her way, thus doing exactly what she wants Impulsv?

The funny thing, is no one responded to her little facebook note. Aww..how sad.

Anxiously awaiting the story of my life...

Guess what won't be cute?
Me slapping a b..

I also agree on him being the one that need to say something about it. If he's completely oblivious about her intention...I think it's fine to tell your man that her comment was out of line. Then let him deal with it as he see fit. You getting more involved than that would only mean that she bothers you... which obviously she does, let's face it lol...I mean who wouldn't be right? But if he truely loves you he would eventually step up if someone disrespect you or the relationship. One more reason why I love my Bull so much 🙂

WOWWWWW,
he just approved the post so it went through on his page and posted a cute little video in response.
Ultimate disrespect. Words cannot express how PISSED I am right now. An angry bull has NOTHING on my fury

Posted by Theatrum
Pfft.. I know it's easier said than done but try not to worry about it. If he's in love with you and happy, he's most likely oblivious to any other women that might be interested in him. Us Taureans can be really blind when it comes to people taking an interest in us, even when we're single, trust me on that one. As far as that chick goes, she'll eventually figure out that her efforts are going nowhere. Eventually. It'll sink in.

+ 1. I agreed. however I suggest setting up a beatiful scene. Romantic dinner (home cooked) with a nice glass of red and speak to him calmer about it then. Just say " I don't mind you having so many female friends because I trust you however I feel this girl ... Is stepping out of line. Her post recently disrespected me. I would appreciate it if you can talk to her about it as I don't want to get involved with your friendship...😉 by the way how's the food?( massive smile) "

Posted by anonymousheart
WOWWWWW,
he just approved the post so it went through on his page and posted a cute little video in response.
Ultimate disrespect. Words cannot express how PISSED I am right now. An angry bull has NOTHING on my fury

imao. Sorry it's mind of funny. He has no clue !!! It's an easy fix. You just have to tell him calmly that it bugged you. It's just a public post and besides she's in another state. She's also unattractive. Maybe laugh about it n wait untill he rejects her kindly when she tells him her " true feelings" ... I know it's hard. but try not to let that bother you.

Posted by anonymousheart
WOWWWWW,
he just approved the post so it went through on his page and posted a cute little video in response.
Ultimate disrespect. Words cannot express how PISSED I am right now. An angry bull has NOTHING on my fury

Hhahahah!! Whaaaaat? What was the video? Is there actual cuddly content in it?

Lol she tagged four other guys. Maybe she thinks he's a part of HER fan club! Hell maybe he is.lol She is a bull too after all.

It doesn't matter whether you think she's unattractive or whether you think your boyfriend is naive (as you keep mentioning over and over again)...Stop hinting that it bothers you and actually tell him that it bothers you. Then sit back and watch how fast the problem gets solved. Unless you're just displaying the normal OVER THE TOP, PAY ATTENTION TO ME AND ME ONLY, DRAMATIC...Leo jealousy.lol Then it doesn't matter what he does, you'll always find something to be mad about. Whether it's him wanting to devote his time to charity work or him responding to a friend...

Haha this reminds me of one of my Taurus co-workers who was dating this Libra sun, Leo moon chick. Unbeknownst to me the Taurus guy had been distancing himself and acting super professional around me. But I only realized this after he broke up with the Libra and apologized to me for being "so weird". He said his ex felt threatened by our friendship and he was trying "to build trust" (Any other Taurus' use this phrase a lot? I know I do). I didn't even notice he was acting differently.

With Taurus and Taurus friendships, the relationship can be so relaxed, effortless and so utterly platonic...that we can't even fathom the rapport being threatening to our partners.

Anyway maybe you're making a mountain out a mole hill? But you should still tell him. Taurus' want their partners to feel safe and secure with them. Tell him. Seriously.

Oh I told him alright...

His rationalizing was out of control.
He even tried to rationalize by saying that it was "like the bible..being taken out of context." I'm like really you can compare her fb message to the bible? WOWWWW

I almost threw up.
Lets just say, I'm not impressed and I didn't feel supported.

He also apparently possesses the unique ability to redefine very clear words in the english language like CUDDLING...

She is so LUCKY she is not within a five mile radius of me.
Him too!

Girl I totally said how would u feel if I did that..
Again, his rationalizing was out of control.
He's in time out. He's acting like a child sooooo...

And for me, I gotta go to bed before I freaking rip someone's head off.

He removed it from his page....submission101

Yes. I hate that Taurus upset acting like babies. same my Taurus man at this time.

But I kept ignoring him because he already damage the whole situation and I lost already the trust.

Posted by PVAF

Posted by thescepter
lol@pvaf #nonewcuddlesoulmates

I'd send her a teddy bear. 😄 But she couldn't cuddle with my man.

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OMG a fb cuddle buddy...no, just no.

Posted by Rabbit

Set a bear trap baited with bacon and Little Debbie's....

lol

The public response videos may be taking this "friendship" a bit too far. They're speaking to each other through music. Is this a Taurus thing? Still learning about Taurus characteristics over here.

I'm sure it doesn't really mean anything, but yes she's seeing if she can get you upset. You may have to talk to him and draw a line you can agree on as a couple.

Well, the lines are personal. Sure.

Well him rationalizing with you maybe was a clumsy attempt to calm you down... and besides, he did remove the post/picture didn't he? His actions means everything here I think. Now what will you do? Will you stay pissed and give him a hard time or will you just appreciate what he did for you? Women seem to hang around around my Taurus man a lot as well... maybe it's because he's very kind...but so far, I've never had to worry about it. Some of them are really touchy feely... but he already told them that he's with someone (ME!!!) and that makes him uncomfortable...but the Irony here is... that seems to turn on those vultures even more.... sigh... women...

Absolutely nothing would have bothered me about this whole thing... UNTIL... he validated her with his video response

Posted by soultalk
Taurus rationalizing can give you a headache at times.

Seriously.

Posted by notyourtype
Does he know the 4 other guys that were tagged? If they are all mutual friends, then I can kind of see why he felt the message wasn't a big deal. Maybe he interpreted "cuddling" as merely getting together and hanging out, lol. From what you've described of her though, it does sound like she is undermining you. That kind of behavior would irk anybody after a while, so I can understand why you feel the urge to unleash your fury on her. 😛

But, I personally wouldn't confront her because: A) it would give her too much gratification knowing she got the reaction she wanted out of you B) you've already expressed your dissatisfaction of her to your BF, so it's now his job to talk to her and establish some boundaries

Whether or not he thinks her actions are inappropriate is irrelevant because as long as it's something that makes YOU feel uneasy, it's his job as your BF to do something about it (if he cares about you). But seeing as he ended up removing the post from his page, it appears he is starting to take your concern into account and is putting your feelings above hers, so that's good!

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I'm not going to confront her. She is dead to me. Her attempts to —buddy up?? to me are dead right now. Next week (don't wanna feed the drama this week) she is blocked and deleted on FB. Agree with that last paragraph 100 percent.

Posted by CapriLady

Posted by Rabbit

BR>

The public response videos may be taking this "friendship" a bit too far. They're speaking to each other through music. Is this a Taurus thing? Still learning about Taurus characteristics over here.I'm sure it doesn't really mean anything, but yes she's seeing if she can get you upset. You may have to talk to him and draw a line you can agree on as a couple.

My thoughts exactly.

Posted by soultalk
The group of friends just looks like an immature bunch. Your BF may have wanted to acknowledge the tag. But he could have responded by bringing you into the conversation somehow, saying like 'ya i'll be there with my GF', something like that. I have seen committed guys flirting and then bringing in their wife/gf into the conversation to get away with stuff. Not that your bf was flirting but there are ways to still seem polite and highlight that you are taken.

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Yes. The hilarious thing is. This happened immediately after. A girl ( ironically by the same first name as this one) posted on his FB page in Russian (he is Russian) —you??re too cute??-google translate. His response, he corrected her Russian grammar lol. (so daft, still not seeing she's flirting) then she's like I hope you got the point! He's like, that I'm too nice? She's like no you??re too cute. He was like haha you??re too kinda. Thanks for liking (insert my name here's) page. Best wishes to your family. Because he sent all his friends my music page to invite them to like it. So he used my name. But he needs to fxking lay down the law or this will keep happening.

Posted by celticlioness
Absolutely nothing would have bothered me about this whole thing... UNTIL... he validated her with his video response

Precisely. Which is why I stayed silent and let it go earlier in the day. Until i saw he 'approved' the post so the tag appeared on his wall, and responded. Then I was like I have to say something....

I feel really drained and pissed this morning. He removed it from his wall, but everything is still on hers. I'm just upset he would even put me in this position, then defend himself and her. "Oh she doesn't mean it like that. blah blah" Making me feel like the 'crazy' odd man out. I stood my ground said my point, accentuated that the details and reasoning does not matter, the bottom line is it disrespects and hurts me, then I got off the phone. I'm still so upset I don't even wanna talk to him. The thing that pisses me off is the video he posted in response to her was a song I was singing to him the other day on the subway. Nothing cuddly, a pretty eric clapton song. But still....Also immediately after we got off the phone he reposted a quote from my favorite religious leader (obviously a message to me) which pisses me off. Then he went and 'liked' a quote on my wall about love being vulnerable. It's all cheap to me until he fixes this issue. It's not the first time we've had to have this talk, but it will be the last.

It's the case of him being daft and needing to play god with everyone. See: everclear's song "everything to everyone"

Honestly, the fact that he keeps "innocently" getting into these situations is really making me step back and examine what's wrong with him. Be it immaturity, ignorance, or insecurity..I'm not impressed. And I don't have time for this highschool crap. I'm a grown woman. I have a fan club to but there's a reason that isn't surfacing - because i keep it in check and i'm very clear about my availability. He was like, well if you said you were cuddling with (insert my best friend's name- he's a guy) I wouldn't think it was a big deal. I was like I WOULD!!!! I would never say that - he's my FRIEND, and I would NEVER disrespect his girlfriend like that!!!
Jesus Christ...

Posted by thescepter
Lol i read it from a book. Sextrology. I think there is truth to it.

Virgos hook taurus by being a habit.

Taurus hook Capricorn the same way. Set Up!

This is why I don't really fool with facebook.

Anonymous, this is what bothers me about my Taurus friend. He'll do something soooo sweet, then turn around and just blow it completely by dumb ish. I don't get it and I snapped at him because it's just way too many highs and lows....wayyyy too many games.

I've removed all expectations, and stepped ALL the way back. He is not someone I'm going to take seriously anymore. You really seem to like/love your Taurus guy, but my advice, for your sanity, is to do the same...slowly remove some of his credibility. Maybe you shouldn't take him as seriously as you do...atleast not right now. I see the same patterns with you and him, the highs and lows. It will drain the heck out of you. People can say he's clueless, but come on...he knows better, and would "try" to brush it off if the shoe was on the other foot. Best believe this situation would bother him aswell and you'd most likely recieve passive-aggresive behavior for an eternity if you did this to him.

Good luck with everything

Posted by lnana04

Posted by thescepter
Lol i read it from a book. Sextrology. I think there is truth to it.

Virgos hook taurus by being a habit.

Taurus hook Capricorn the same way. Set Up!

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Capricorns hook Taurus by being standoffish, more so than the Taurus.
This makes them go WOW. And they are drawn out. Capricorns can beat Taurus at the stoic game.
Virgos, idk, I don't get it. Maybe the practical steadfastness. Attentiveness to details.

Who fxking cares

He might be mentally retarded -_-

What I know for sure is:
A capricorn, Virgo, Leo, whatever, any woman, would NOT be kosher with this crap....


I would bet all my money on that.

Posted by soultalk

Posted by anonymousheart
He might be mentally retarded -_-

chill anonymous, you might scare him. bulls need some pampering and love. maybe if you say how hurt you feel, he will melt. but seriously just saying this i am thinking, wow, why does everybody else have to accomodate the bull? see they can drive you nuts, making you think it is normal for them to act abnormal

Lol. Spot on. I told him he hurt me. He's probably feeling very bad today. I also told him I love him, but noone is worth feeling this way. I was pretty clear.

Posted by thescepter

Posted by anonymousheart
What I know for sure is:
A capricorn, Virgo, Leo, whatever, any woman, would NOT be kosher with this crap....


I would bet all my money on that.

wrong. there are some women that prefer this type of man. usually ones that like their freedom.

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Yea, This girl doesn't like being tied down either. You're not a girl are you? So I'm not quite sure if you should speak on this.

LOL Mel! I like my freedom, I want my partner to be free...but this is entrusting that they know where to draw the line, and won't let anything infringe on our relationship...

I mean, if integrating permission slips would be helpful I wouldn't be opposed to it...lol!

Posted by IrresistableScorp
This is what happens when too many women get together to discuss how to put their man in his place. This will not end well.

The most dignified position in this case is to ignore it. It means nothing. Who cares? Is this man not allowed to have friends? If you felt secure in the relationship, a little light banter wouldn't mean a thing to you. Perhaps you should examine why you feel so insecure in this relationship?

Hey I am not discounting or over looking this point. I do have some introspection as well. This is an opportunity to explore that. However, I did ignore it until it went public which will further add muddyness and confusion between other women and our mutual friends. This is about respect and I don't expect you to understand. If it wasn't in a public venue, say I saw this in a text, I wouldn't give a flying f cause he's with me... You have to draw the line somewhere. This is MY line. This is a personal standard. I pick my battles carefully (or atleast, I try to) and this is WORTH fighting for and losing from my personal standpoint.

I think the women on here gave really great advice. Unfortunately I read it after I called him all fired up. I just had to be true to myself and transparent.

Posted by PVAF

Posted by thescepter

Posted by anonymousheart
What I know for sure is:
A capricorn, Virgo, Leo, whatever, any woman, would NOT be kosher with this crap....


I would bet all my money on that.

wrong. there are some women that prefer this type of man. usually ones that like their freedom.

Geminis, Sags, and Aquas.

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um nope. Not this one. I like freedom, but there's a difference. You mean being free to go to the supermarket and doing stuff on your own, but not freedom in which your lover is free to do whatever he/she pleases with other genders? excuse me? might as well be single. I hate that shit.

Posted by PVAF

Posted by anonymousheart
He might be mentally retarded -_-

LOL!!!

Posted by anonymousheart
I think the women on here gave really great advice. Unfortunately I read it after I called him all fired up. I just had to be true to myself and transparent.

Ahaha! We might have some similar placements. This sounds very PVAF like.

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Oh ya, I favorited you after the first comment you made. You are too funny!

SOOOO He texted me inviting me to this in school open mic (a few stops from my work) I didn't respond bc I'm A)pissed B) working and C)He told me he wasn't performing anyways.


Then he called me and invited me. I said I already took lunch. I guess I was just very cold and blank, one word answers. It was the best I could do for the moment. Turns out he was performing and was very "nervous". Still I had nothing to say. Then he starts with his verbose apology stating he is just slow and it took time to see my point of view and how that could have disrespected me, and that he was going to take action so it never happens again. I said, "Ok." He is like umm ok, so I'm gonna head back in now. Me: Ok, bye.

I appreciate his recognition and honesty, but I don't need to hear a recap verbally about his actions. I'm only interested in his actions. He can recap that after he's fixed the problem. Hopefully I will cool down by then and can weigh my options outside of an emotional realm. But I feel very suspicious of him and if he's right for me. He's a good bit younger, and I don't want to keep having these kinds of misunderstandings. It is very distracting and negative.

Posted by CluelessCancer
Who do the fuk uses the word "cuddle" with male friends?

i don't know what that's all about, but that should have been the red flag. 1 she tagged only males.

your boyfriend is a fuking clueless idiot. but hey don't get bent out of shape about it, most men are extremely dumb.

accept it.

Exactly to the first part. and the last part? I'm not sure if I can...Who wants a dummy?