I gave him space....
This topic was created in the Taurus forum by Kathleencancer27 on Wednesday, September 12, 2012 and has 11 replies.
So, I created a lengthy post a few days ago about my taurus guy telling me he needs space to be single right now so he can figure himself as a single person out. He says he doesnt want to make the same mistakes going into a relationship with me that he has made in past relationships and he needs to get some of his stuff taken care of before he can commit. After a lot of freaking out mentally in my mind, I realized that this was a blessing in disguise because I have some things that I need to focus on right now too. I love him so much, and respect his what I think is honesty so Ive backed off.
Im confused now because he still contacts me and tells me he wants me to be there for him as a friend...keep in contact with him. Says I can call or text him anytime and that he still wants to see me sometimes and swears sex isnt necessary. So, he told me he wanted to be single and wanted space...but then he contacts me and tells me not to cut him off or out of my life. What exactly am I to do with this. I have feelings for him and dont know if I can be just a friend at this moment in time...I want him to be happy and to get his stuff together and understand that this is what he needs to do...but then why is he pushing me to keep in contact?
Im confused now because he still contacts me and tells me he wants me to be there for him as a friend...keep in contact with him. Says I can call or text him anytime and that he still wants to see me sometimes and swears sex isnt necessary. So, he told me he wanted to be single and wanted space...but then he contacts me and tells me not to cut him off or out of my life. What exactly am I to do with this. I have feelings for him and dont know if I can be just a friend at this moment in time...I want him to be happy and to get his stuff together and understand that this is what he needs to do...but then why is he pushing me to keep in contact?
Right. Classic move. Wants his cake with a side of ice cream. Don't buy into it. Give him his request and also take the time YOU need to sort yourself. It's a hard journey being someones emotional tampon when their heart isn't completely in it when yours is. Cut it loose.
Do I cut him loose completely and not speak to him at all, ever? Thats kind of what I feel I should do at this point...and then I start wondering what if he comes back and all that...
Also, my initial response today was to tell him that I needed my own space and that eventually I might be able to be his friend but not right now. He proceeded to apologize for "everything" and thanked me for "everything" ive done for him and told me he understands. I kind of feel like he does want to have is cake and eat it too...living the single life. But it also feels like he wants me to chase him. I told him I couldnt wait for him and he said that he never asked me to and doesnt want me to but wants me to be his friend...so, should I just completely cut him out of my life and what am I supposed to do in a month or two when he comes back swearing comittment?
IF he comes back and is swearing commitment. You have a life to live, things you need to focus on. Speak your mind if you feel you need to do that. Be truthful and tell him it hurts but that you cannot just 'hang out' and keep things all on the buddy buddy.
In all honesty if he's asking you to prove something you've already proven more than once it's not worth it. Never relegate yourself to being an option. Ever. Numero Uno or nada.
In nod to his situ, if he decides to pull his head out...go from there. Like you just met, or as damned close as it'll get. He needs to woo you and prove to YOU that he's worth it. Prove to YOU that he's a mature stand up guy with your best interests at heart. And if he cannot..well then he needs to stand DOWN and let the man who can be all these things take a crack at it.
In all honesty if he's asking you to prove something you've already proven more than once it's not worth it. Never relegate yourself to being an option. Ever. Numero Uno or nada.
In nod to his situ, if he decides to pull his head out...go from there. Like you just met, or as damned close as it'll get. He needs to woo you and prove to YOU that he's worth it. Prove to YOU that he's a mature stand up guy with your best interests at heart. And if he cannot..well then he needs to stand DOWN and let the man who can be all these things take a crack at it.
Thankyou for the resonse! I completely agree with everything you've said.
Good luck with everything lady. Sincerely. 
Thanks again everyone for the support After much thinking I feel totally fine with letting go and taking my own space to get back to what I need to do!
So, much to my amusement, he texted me today to see about possibly hanging out tomorrow. I told him I had plans all weekend (because I do. An old guy friend has been trying to get me to have dinner and say hello but I had been avoiding it due to my taurus man. Now that Ive set him loose, I figure casual dinner with someone who actually wants to be around me couldnt hurt, right?) And he immediately responded asking if I was going to have sex with someone. I waited a while and simply said, Im giving you the space you need to do what you need to do, please give do the same for me. He reluctantly agreed and that ended that conversation. I just found it amusing that he wanted me to wait around and wanted all this space but now he feels the need to know what Im doing. I dont think Im playing games...I didnt tell him what I was doing or with whom because I really dont want to know what hes doing or with whom hes chosing to do it. Is this typical man behavior? I know I sound silly asking, but you have to remember, Ive chosen to be single for almost 5 years now asides from this man so Im out of the loop
After much thinking I feel totally fine with letting go and taking my own space to get back to what I need to do! So, much to my amusement, he texted me today to see about possibly hanging out tomorrow. I told him I had plans all weekend (because I do. An old guy friend has been trying to get me to have dinner and say hello but I had been avoiding it due to my taurus man. Now that Ive set him loose, I figure casual dinner with someone who actually wants to be around me couldnt hurt, right?) And he immediately responded asking if I was going to have sex with someone. I waited a while and simply said, Im giving you the space you need to do what you need to do, please give do the same for me. He reluctantly agreed and that ended that conversation. I just found it amusing that he wanted me to wait around and wanted all this space but now he feels the need to know what Im doing. I dont think Im playing games...I didnt tell him what I was doing or with whom because I really dont want to know what hes doing or with whom hes chosing to do it. Is this typical man behavior? I know I sound silly asking, but you have to remember, Ive chosen to be single for almost 5 years now asides from this man so Im out of the loop
he also felt the need to tell me that he doesnt want space to be single so he can sleep around...he just wants to get to be single... and all I can say in my head is NEAT
Well done.
Ive been standing my ground, keeping my distance and this man actually called me a couple times last night and left a message asking why I hadnt called him. And then texted me tonight asking if I wanted him to "come over"... Whats the heck!? As soon as I back off he's harrassing me, I assume for a booty call but I refuse to break on this one
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