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Jan 15, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 124 · Topics: 15
I need help with this. I have finally met a guy that I will honestly say has given me a real challenge and its driving me crazy!
We started out getting to know one another and then I decided that I wanted to take it there with him. He told me some varied reason for not being commited. I forgot, I think it was like because of work and stuff, he said he doesnt want to be responsible for someone else for now. He may be being selfish but oh well he just cant be responsible.... I was like, ok cool. Well he cooks for me and he had me there, hes so passionate and simply love that. I love exotic things and people so since he is from a foreign country I was like "Yeah, I got to have him". We'll I told him upfront that I'm not jealous at all and that I like my space you know. He was like ok. He told me that we would try the relationship. I was like he could talk to other women as long as he doesnt sleep with them, I'm not conventional at all. I just wanted to get to know him more. He agreed that if he began to have a "moment"(upset, dont want to be bothered, going into that famous rut) to simply say so. I dont read minds... If he didnt want to talk on the phone just pickup and say "I'm having a moment". He said ok cool so we made it official... Well, lets just say he didnt do keep his agreement. I fussed at him because it was soooo silly..... Ok, I was hanging with him on Sunday and i left for a few hours.. i came back to his area with a friend to go to the beach so i decided to call him up so they could meet. he didnt pick up the phone and i knew he was there. Tuesday come i have not heard from him since. i call him at work and tell him why i was upset over it. so he apologized and said he didnt think the call was important. What?!? try picking up and find out. Long story short he went out of town i heard nothing from him not even if he got there ok after i took him to the airport or if he needed me to pick him up when he got back. He said its ok if we go back as friends.... blah blah i was like what? why? we havent even started haha. so he wanted to still hang with me and stuff i was like i didnt think it was a good idea. Well i calmed down later and i went to see him and we kicked it as friends, he cooked me some food, hes very attentive in pertson but once im gone hes acts as if it never happened. The pattern does not stop! I want to get this correct and start again since I understand his ways more. I dont know what he fears with me. Help!
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May 03, 2005Comments: 0 · Posts: 4058 · Topics: 601
He's not really dragging you along, he's telling you upfront. Appreciate & accept it.
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May 03, 2005Comments: 0 · Posts: 4058 · Topics: 601
TC, I block most of my phone calls. When my friends ask me later, I just explain that having a cell is not THEIR convenience, it's MINE! When I'm out doing what I want to do, why would I answer the phone? On the most part, it's kinda rude.
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Jan 15, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 124 · Topics: 15
Taurus chic, no I dont ask for explanations if hes upset or whatever but if I was just with him 2 hours ago he needs not to act wishy-washy on me, at first I use to think something happened to him as I didnt know what was going on haha, he does that all the time, but since I stopped talking to him he is trying to change it up, I know it kills him haha. I never call him if i dont have something important to say. we dont just sit on the phone and talk casually, its only to make plans or something. He confuses me, he wants to be around me all the time but then he goes into this mode the very next moment. I mean, i'm fickle myself but damn.... I also caught him getting a little jealous before, what is that all about? I have Taurus as my moon and I noticed that we share many things in common but overall we are truly night and day. We get into it as we both want to dominant the relationship, almost Mr & Mrs. Smith haha. If he feared me being unconventional why would he insist on the commited relationship in the beginning? He expresses how hes so intrigued by me. Do you think he thinks I will hurt him? I wouldnt, I just wanna show him a good time since he gets sooo mundane. I actually like that we are different because its boring to be involved with someone the same as me, no challenge. Hes always concerened by asking if i'm bored, since he knows that I love change. do you think he feels that he bores me or will? He wanna know my every thought.. Im like umm... I will share the next one with you, I like to keep some for myself haha.
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May 03, 2005Comments: 0 · Posts: 4058 · Topics: 601
FS, what country is he from? You do realize we are slow to commit, right?
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Jan 15, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 124 · Topics: 15
TaurusGoddess, I didnt even know that... it seem as if he was jumping in fast with me at first. Then all of a sudden he just stopped like a statue and I went crazy haha! He was born in Austria but grew up in Turkey, he shares the culture there.
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May 03, 2005Comments: 0 · Posts: 4058 · Topics: 601
Ohhhh sounds sexy, austrian, taurus male. grrrr I'm good friends with a taurus male from Serbia, we used to date & then realized we were too much alike and both hated commiting. SO, now we get together and b1tch about our relationhips, well mostly laugh and relate and learn. I find the taurus male needs to really see a friendship in the relationship, almost like a trust thing so they feel comfortable going on to the next level.
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Jan 15, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 124 · Topics: 15
So what should I do? I have a better understanding but I dont know where to begin to get it clear to him that it is ok and I dont harm. We always have fun together hes such a doll.
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Jan 15, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 124 · Topics: 15
Yeah he told me he didnt want me to change. So I will see how it goes.
Thanks for the help!
Plus...don't know about you, but I *love* to have time to myself. I like to be self-indulgent occasionally but find it difficult when others are around (too busy doing things for them!), so that time to myself (usually middle of the night) is all-important to me.