I loved my taurus and he disappeared

This topic was created in the Taurus and Cancer Compatibility forum by ysmitchell82 on Sunday, February 17, 2013 and has 22 replies.
I am a cancer female and i met my taurus guy and fell in love with him. He was so sweet and treated me like a queen after three months of pure bliss he disappeared. He literallyseparatedhimself from me without any explanation. I did everything right. We connected so well. The sex was so good. The fun times we had were jjust that so fun. I just want to know why. What did I do wrong? They say that cancer and taurus are very compatible. We had talked about getting a place together and when i went to put my deposit down on my place thats when he started acting different. He told me that same night that he was not ready to move in but he still wanted to be in a relationship with me then the distance came. I need some answers. Please help.
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Posted by Torro
A love problem involving a Taurus always seems to contain the disappearing act from Taurus side. Seems like we're gonna disappear sooner or later. I really don't know why we do that so much :/ Maybe there comes a point when we need to stop and decide if this is the right choice, if everything's gonna be alright. And then we either return for good, or leave for good.


I think this is true for the most part, especially this "Maybe there comes a point when we need to stop and decide if this is the right choice, if everything's gonna be alright. And then we either return for good, or leave for good". Although there are plenty of things that can bring on disappearing acts- Other placements (gemini venus?), fights, rushing, pressure...
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I wish that I would have known this side of him before I got my feelings involved
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Advice from a Taurus man needed! I just had my heart broken by a Taurus man for the second time in the last 3 months since meeting him. We have a great chemistry but met in a local bar. He has done the typical disappear and reappear act multiple times. He has claimed to be falling in love with me on multiple times and within days disappears leaving me questioning everything. He even went so far as to inform the owners of the bar that we met at that he was thankful for them introducing us and we would most likely get married within a year. I have asked him not to say things like this unless he is ready for a real relationship. He looked at me and promised me he meant every word. Within days he got distant again. He sent me a text stating, "Remember I need to take things slow, I'm a work in progress." I took this as back off so I did. Days later he is sending me pictures from his job and asked me to dinner for Valentines day. I was so excited! He called me the day before to confirm the date and he proceeded to tell me he told everyone at the bar we were together and not to feel weird going to the bar. I thought that was great as we had been keeping thing on the down low. So the night of the date he was sweet but quiet and almost appeared nervous. First thing he did was order a beer and I had water. He seemed uncomfortable with the fact I didn't want any alcohol. Well the conversation and dinner went okay but he didn't hold my hand or show the usual amount of affection he normally does. He walked me home and was again awkward with his kiss good bye. The next night I popped into the bar, knowing I would see him and not at all worried since he informed me that he told everyone at the bar we were an item. I showed up (very excited to see him) and he did NOT share my enthusiasm. I sat right next to him, told him about my day and he started to ignore me and asked for his tab within 20 minutes!! He had told me 2 weeks prior that we would always leave that place together! Sure enough he was getting ready to go and told me he just wanted to go home alone.I was crushed and felt like a fool! I left right after embarrassed and sad. I sent him a text saying, " I thought we were working towards something.... if we are just friends he was confusing me." I received a text the next day telling me,"I don't think that things are working out. Your pressuring me and wanting things to move faster than I do. We have different definitions of dating, etc"? Do I respond? Is it over?
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Posted by ysmitchell82
I am a cancer female and i met my taurus guy and fell in love with him. He was so sweet and treated me like a queen after three months of pure bliss he disappeared.


I don't know the entire story. (seems vague, not enough info)...but from what I gathered three months is too soon for a Taurus. We move, slow, gradually, and cautiously. If things were to occur prematurely, more than likely, it will fizzle out just as quickly,
1. He may not be ready for the next step.
2. He may have seen 'flaws' that you possessed that were not visible in the beginning, became turned off, and slowly weened himself off from you.
It could be due to a myriad o reasons.
Who knows.
Posted by ysmitchell82
They say that cancer and taurus are very compatible.
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True.
However-
They're two totally different individuals.
Cancer is a water sign
Taurus is an earth sign.
Their outlook and approach to relationships is completely different.
Because both parties are highly introverted, a great deal of work and communication is required for these signs.
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Posted by TaureanAries
Y
I think possibly the crunch time came and he's done a panic job and is assessing if this is what he really wants.



This!
Just my assumption as well....
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Posted by LeoLeo18
Advice from a Taurus man needed! I just had my heart broken by a Taurus man for the second time in the last 3 months since meeting him.


Word to the wise for the individuals who post on this forum regarding the disappearing acts of Bulls....
Three months is too soon!
If there are declarations of love, moving in together, and one big fantasy romance within a short duration of time....
This will eventually fizzle out!
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Posted by Torro
A love problem involving a Taurus always seems to contain the disappearing act from Taurus side. Seems like we're gonna disappear sooner or later. I really don't know why we do that so much :/ Maybe there comes a point when we need to stop and decide if this is the right choice, if everything's gonna be alright. And then we either return for good, or leave for good.


This.. SOO MUCH THIS!!!
I've done 2 hours complete meditation and reflection about the disappearing act and still I cant derive a concrete conclusion.
To OP:
The only advice I can give to you is that you need to tell him that everything is all under control and give him time to assess his situation. As a taurus myself I often find simple dilemmas to be escalated as a tragedy. I dont know why i tend to exaggerate things but I just kinda do.
A good book that i've read "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" by John Grey Ph.D. That men needs a time to go to his cave and start piecing out all that he needs and start to straighten them out. And it would be great if his love ones would understand this phase of a man and let him be. You will know when he done with the things that he needs sorting out, when you know it. And if you also share the pain with him by giving him his time, he will emerge from the dept of the ocean and WILL LOVE YOU WITH THE BOTTOM OF HIS HEART... uhmm... somthing like that...
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Alrighty! My Bull is back.....again! We are now going on 6 months of this roller coaster ride. The on and off is getting easier to deal with actually because now when I feel his wall go up I retreat and then let him come back. Which he always does.....seems like I am the one being trained by him :-) He will spot me out and watch me until he is ready to approach. Quite the Hunter this one is. He finally admitted to having high anxiety over an ex and being confused because she sent him a text the same day we went out on Valentines day and it messed him all up. So I told him to just go see her and get it over with already. He claimed he didn't want to do that but I told him if he didn't he would never be able to find out if she is playing games or really misses him. So he went down to San Diego and tried to see her and....low and behold....she blew him off again!!! I knew when he disappeared for 2 weeks that he was either back in the cave or testing out my theory. When we saw each other after he got back he admitted to trying to see her. I wasn't mad I was relieved! Now that I know Bulls have to learn the hard way it was easier to be secure in knowing it would actually help him in realizing that she is gone for good. Not only have they been broken up for 2 years already but she clearly just is playing with his emotions when it suits her to do so. So I asked him, "Have you had enough? Does it feel good to be hurt over and over? Or do you want to actually give yourself a chance at being happy with someone who will treat you with respect and kindness? He was very apologetic; told me how he knows that the best person for him is right in front of him (me) and he really cares about me and that trust and change is very hard for him. All things that I know now that I have studied his sign. I don't even get mad or sad anymore. I know once he is ready it will be game over and I know I can't chase him or force anything. 6 months is a long time but the courtship/ friendship we are building is more important to long term success. I am getting it now. It's not easy(I am a Leo 7/26/82)but the more we separate and come back together it seems to actually be building trust on his end. Hoping we can continue to grow since I know he is slow but steady to commit. Trying to be as patient as this little lion can be :-). BTW- He is a May 17th, 1981; is he a Gemini cusper? I feel like I have some Cancer traits in me that help when fire meets the earth. I want things to work with us.
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TaurusBull1977... If things start off too fast and the 'fizzle' is there anyway that time/ distance might reverse things to the beauty that once existed or would it be gone for good? Once a taurus decides is it definitely over for good even if he still thinks of you as his best friend and person he trusts the most?
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LeoLeo18 writes: The on and off is getting easier to deal with actually because now when I feel his wall go up I retreat and then let him come back. Which he always does.....
>>>We have a winner, folks. Another Leo woman on this board has figured out the secret.
scorpchick76: Once a taurus decides is it definitely over for good even if he still thinks of you as his best friend and person he trusts the most?
>>>Not that you asked me, buuuut...I think the strength of connection is a huge factor, but if that's there, it is not "definitely over for good". I took one of my longest term relationships back several times - even after she cheated. The connection was so strong and when the pain finally hit me it was almost unbearable. Alot of bulls can't handle emotional pain; its hard enough to have to deal with the whole transition/change once you've been with a person for a while and now have to move on.
When a Venus in Gem says you are his best friend and means it, and they are going through what your bull is, I think its a very good sign and indicates much more than "just friends". Sure he needs healing, but that friendship connection is usuaully really important for Gems in general in romance, and with his Gem in Venus I think this is even more the case. Mental connection/stimulation = love. Plus you're a Scorp...plus you are good with verbal/written communication. I think if you express how you feel (which it sounds like you are in recent posts on the other thread), then back off or keep it as just friends but back off emotionally, he'll eventually pursue.
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@TaurusLovesScorpio - Thanks for your advice and support! It has been very helpful in understanding him and not having to go of the anxiety I was feeling. He even took me to his parents house (while they were out of town) and showed me his neighborhood and I helped him feed the family animals. I feel like even though he got cold after this for a few weeks this was huge for him! I told him that in person when we saw each other last and just re-iterated that I understand he is a man of action and not words and that all I need from him is honesty and some consistency, not even a commitment. He seemed really receptive because I was telling him what I needed in a way that didn't add pressure. He gave me more of his clothes too to wear home! I swear at this point he has given me 2 pairs of sweats, 2 hoodies, basketball short, flip flops and a T-shirt. These are all good signs, right? I am working on reading his actions and not getting caught up in his words. I am doing my part in just leaving him alone, doing my own thing and then being open and loving to him when he comes around. Every time I do this I seem to get closer.....and gain an article of his clothing. I will keep you posted. His birthday is on May 17th so I am wondering if I get him a gift? If so, what would be appropriate for a 32 year old Bull? I don't want to freak him out with something too fancy or too simple.
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Posted by TaurusBull1977
Posted by LeoLeo18
Advice from a taurus man needed! I just had my heart broken by a Taurus man for the second time in the last 3 months since meeting him.


Word to the wise for the individuals who post on this forum regarding the disappearing acts of Bulls....
Three months is too soon!
If there are declarations of love, moving in ther, and one big fantasy romance within a short duration of time....
This will eventually fizzle out!
click to expand


So true! My taurus bf and I are together for 5 months (with one month separation). No 'i love you' yet. The closest thing he's ever uttered was 'i love your company'. Hmm.... I know... It's still the L- word... though the object is not directly me... Haha.. Big progress regardless. I don't expect him to officially declare his love till another 5 months down the road. He's consciously refraining himself from getting deep too quickly. I'm giving him space to move at pace he finds comfortable. When he gets too happy, he blurts out inner thoughts which he probably regrets later. But his consciousness kicks in, he'll regain his aloofness, probably more so than before . I'm used to this hot & cold behavior. That's just his struggle between sense and sensibility. I don't take that personally.
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Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
LeoLeo18 writes: The on and off is getting easier to deal with actually because now when I feel his wall go up I retreat and then let him come back. Which he always does.....
>>>We have a winner, folks. Another Leo woman on this board has figured out the secret.
scorpchick76: Once a taurus decides is it definitely over for good even if he still thinks of you as his best friend and person he trusts the most?
>>>Not that you asked me, buuuut...I think the strength of connection is a huge factor, but if that's there, it is not "definitely over for good". I took one of my longest term relationships back several times - even after she cheated. The connection was so strong and when the pain finally hit me it was almost unbearable. Alot of bulls can't handle emotional pain; its hard enough to have to deal with the whole transition/change once you've been with a person for a while and now have to move on.
When a Venus in Gem says you are his best friend and means it, and they are going through what your bull is, I think its a very good sign and indicates much more than "just friends". Sure he needs healing, but that friendship connection is usuaully really important for Gems in general in romance, and with his Gem in Venus I think this is even more the case. Mental connection/stimulation = love. Plus you're a Scorp...plus you are good with verbal/written communication. I think if you express how you feel (which it sounds like you are in recent posts on the other thread), then back off or keep it as just friends but back off emotionally, he'll eventually pursue.



Okay now he is running again.....He sent me this text this am and I don't even know what I did or how to respond, "Hi, I hope your okay. Sorry I just can't give you what you are looking for between us. I can't date anyone right now. Can I come by and get my stuff tonight?" This is beyond exhausting after 6 months. Again he pursues me and then runs. It's so hurtful and beyond my comprehension.
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Ok are you saying once the disappearing act starts the best way to deal with it is to say nothing...and just go with the flow like when he returns act like nothing happened? But then isn't that letting him acts as he pleases. Would he respect the fact that you were honest about his disappearing act and then stick to your words with actions speaking louder?
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Posted by Taraji
Ok are you saying once the disappearing act starts the best way to deal with it is to say nothing...and just go with the flow like when he returns act like nothing happened? But then isn't that letting him acts as he pleases. Would he respect the fact that you were honest about his disappearing act and then stick to your words with actions speaking louder?


Did you read the entire thread before reopening it. During a commitment, if a man ignores you for longer than 2-3 days without reasonable explanation, the relationship will have problems. He will continue to do this if you let him. If your not in a commitment, then your expectations should be that of close to a friend or whatever the two of you agreed on.
No matter the astro sign, disappearing acts are a red flag, signaling something is wrong.
Just follows the thread of leoleo18.
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Ok leo & cancer on the board,
Here's your tip:
1. if he retreat regardless of his reasons.. don't react impulsively. Just because he disappear
then you have the right to nag. Again, focus to what you are doing without him.
2. Stop analyzing him. If you believe there was a love connection from the start then it will last
even there are so many blocks along the way.
3. Just be the lady he once knew. This is my tactic getting my ex Taurus man twice.
and now, we are back. I used all the info these taurus folks here on the board.. lol. It takes a
person to understand this bull. Really.

Update:
My man looking a job for me where he works... I sent my cv he requested.
During those tough times When we had a fight... it was funny. He yelled at me and I left him without
words and come back at early morning.. He kept texting me but I left my mobile to our pad so he was
waiting while sleeping at the couch.. He yelled at me, I am quiet. I yelled at him.. he was quiet.
lol.
Only the brave at heart lady will survive.
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If you really love a man and if he wanted to leave.. Let him Go.
If he says something you don't like. Don't react, Just respond.
Your action either could save the relationship or Damage the whole thing.
****sigh**** I can't imagine these women it looks deeply depressed with their partner.
But life is moving forward despite of all hardships in life.
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Taurus men hate being rushed, maybe just back off a little bit. Tell him you understand he is not ready and you guys need to slow down a bit. Taurus men are all known for this little disappearing act they do. What I do know about Taurus men is that they hate when women are clingy or constantly texting or calling, and maybe you initiating moving in together pushed him away a little bit? If I were you I would just back off a little bit and let him come to you, and if he mentions in moving in together just tell him right now is not a good time and you want to enjoy one another's company and maybe in the near future you can do that. Maybe take him to a nice dinner and ask him if everything's okay don't get all emotional like I know some Cancer women can be just be practical and check up with him to make sure everything is going good with him family and job... Taurus men don't play games, but there is a reason he has drawn away from you, you just need to find out why. I am a Taurus and my best friend is a Cancer sometimes she gets on my nerves and I wont talk to her for two weeks then we will go out like nothing never happened she is used to me always going away then re-appearing it could just be him wanting time to himself! Good luck xx
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I can't say I have much experience with Taurus men however, the only one I have ever somewhat dealt with on a romantic/physical level did the same thing with disappearing. And then like magic he reappears when least expected and its like nothing ever happened. Like this is normal or something. While I sat here in analytical overdrive trying to dissect each conversation and every situation as to what I possibly did wrong. Maybe he's just not into me. Id NEVER experienced this from any guy before. Just as I tried to forget about him, I run into him and once again he's all over me for a week we're getting pretty close and then nothing. It's #teamtoomuch I need to at least communicate with my love interest regularly or it gets akward because you can't confront them or make a big deal out of it or they will surely dissappear. So we wait, and wait and wait because for some strange reason we adore them so smile
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Havin same problem we was fine until new yr dont know what's happened he changed us to exclusive datin in Oct then saw him dec he was ok messaged twice over xmas wished each other happy new yr I did keep rushin him but not as much towards the end I've apologised since Jan said wont ever do it again n I'd prove it n b patient hes stonewalling me I've asked what I've done he said leave me alone so I asked if he didnt want to c me no more n he didnt reply not seen him since 2nd dec n last time we msg was new yr day please help been with him since last April on n off with all the disappearin acts hes done he knows I love him n hes even said in beginnin am perfect for him n wed have an amazin life I dont understand
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Posted by Tauruslover18

Havin same problem we was fine until new yr dont know what's happened he changed us to exclusive datin in Oct then saw him dec he was ok messaged twice over xmas wished each other happy new yr I did keep rushin him but not as much towards the end I've apologised since Jan said wont ever do it again n I'd prove it n b patient hes stonewalling me I've asked what I've done he said leave me alone so I asked if he didnt want to c me no more n he didnt reply not seen him since 2nd dec n last time we msg was new yr day please help been with him since last April on n off with all the disappearin acts hes done he knows I love him n hes even said in beginnin am perfect for him n wed have an amazin life I dont understand
let this one go. it's over.
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