I Will Kill My Sagittarius for this Taurus

A little bit of background:

I am a Sagittarius Sun with a Cancer Moon. I constantly feel like there are two sides to me, and it could be because of my Sun/Moon signs. Sometimes I'm a completely detached and mutable, sometimes I'm emotionally engaged and security loving. Let me tell you know, my Cancer personality wants to KILL my Sag personality. I really hate it, I feel like my ever-changing mindset and childishness get in the way of focusing on major things and being secure. I feel like more of a Cancer anyway. I've read descriptions of Sag and the only thing I identify with is the mutability, that is all; the profile for the Cancer fits me perfectly. I always feel the need to move this damn centaur out of the way so my crab can swim ... free. I feel this becomes a problem in my relationships.

But anyway, onto the main point. I am in a long distance relationship with a Taurus female. Please don't tell me "but Sag and Taurus don't mix!" because I've heard it all before, and frankly I don't care, I really like this girl. We have the same ambitions and long-term goals in life. I find most girls very annoying (especially Libra, Aries, etc.) and girly, it's like trying to nail jello to the wall. With this Taurus I feel like she will be here, like a solid block of wood that will stay nailed there forever.

She always seems kind of uninterested and detached, though she tells me that she is interested, and we both talk about moving closer, marriage, family, etc. When I send a rather sentimentally charged text she responds like I'm one of her girlfriends. Neither of us have said "I

How long have you been with your Taurus? How often do you see each other?

I'm a Taurus and I dated a Sag for around 8 months, we broke up in Jan/Feb time. He had a Taurus moon and Pisces rising and I have a Gem moon and Sag rising, so it slotted together quite nicely. The problems I had with him were that he wouldn't let me into his life, he had issues with seeing me at weekends and he made me feel pretty rejected to be honest. He was too flighty for me. I craved stability and he moved ever further away from giving it to me. Which is strange, because after we broke up, he continued to contact me til just a few weeks ago, asking for another chance.

I think Taurs and Sag can work if other placements are compatible and each are willing to compromise. If the two of you have discussed having a future together, then that is surely a good sign. I, for one, am rubbish on the phone, I hate talking to people on it and avoid it if at all possible. I don't like not being able to see the other person and gauge their body language or touch them and show affection in a physical way. This is very important to me in my intimate relationships. If she is loving with you when you two are together I wouldn't worry too much about how she is on the phone.

Why don't you talk to her, when you next have a date, about how you miss her etc and see how she reacts. If she reciprocates then great. When the time is right, you'll tell her that you love her. Taureans are notorious for being slow movers (I'm not as slow, Gem moon and all that!) we don't want to get hurt, we want to suss the other person out before letting them into our lives.

we're very cautious and yes, there will be times that you will wonder if we have a pulse when it comes to expressions of love.

frankly, i ain't saying shit first 😛

not only am i less likely to feel it until well after you've felt it, even after you've said it, it may be a good while before i say it. doesn't mean the feelings aren't there, i just have yet to connect with them.

for taurus, emotions have to be solid. in order for them to be solid, they must have a strong foundation. we have to hae some basis to believe these feelings are real so while you're jumping for joy at love gesture #027, we're stacking each of these gestures in our taurean love vault.

once we've built up enough security, once you have made the sufficient number of deposits, we will show you the check card balance. if we're diggin you, we might even let you look very intently at the card...and then we'll change the hiding place.

point is, we're guarded until we don't have to be. if she's not forthcoming but you're feeling it and this relationship has several months in the bag, it's ok to tell her how you feel. eventually she will come around as long as you're still making deposits.

Posted by copperhead
How long have you been with your Taurus? How often do you see each other?

So here's the love story:

We've known each other since I was 5 and she was 6. We are now 20 and 21 respectively. We had a crush on each other when we were 14/15. She sent me love letters, and told me how much she "loved" me, which is odd coming from a Taurus, unless it was just young puppy love that all kids go through. Then we stopped because I live in Texas, she is in Pennsylvania. We realized it was really impractical. Also, at the time, I was very uninterested, I just kind of went with the flow.

Our families know each other very well, so we met on a Caribbean cruise on New Year's 2008/2009. She told me that she realized that we kind of "clicked." Now I'm very interested, in fact it seems at times like I'm more interested than she is, but in the back of my mind I know she is, because she says she "cares about me enough to take me into consideration when making big life decisions." We've had this relationship since January of 2009, so coming up on two years now. She graduates in 2011, I graduate in 2016 as a doctor (she really likes that). So it's gonna be interesting to see what happens, because she keeps telling me she is willing to move to Texas and work here after graduating while I finish school. To be honest, the field I'm in doesn't really give much work for students, but she does, and she's already making a lot more than me per year and it's kind of emasculating.

We try to see each other every 4 months or so. She is currently planning to come here during Thanksgiving or something. After that, the next time I'm seeing her is at her sister's wedding next June. (God, see how trusting I am giving you all this information, this is one of my weaknesses, I easily spill out everything to everyone).

Posted by copperheadWhy don't you talk to her, when you next have a date, about how you miss her etc and see how she reacts. If she reciprocates then great. When the time is right, you'll tell her that you love her. Taureans are notorious for being slow movers (I'm not as slow, Gem moon and all that!) we don't want to get hurt, we want to suss the other person out before letting them into our lives.

Honestly it might be two or more years until we can be together for real. If I say "i love you" now then it won't really mean anything. Plus I feel like we haven't been in each other's physical presence long enough for me to decide.

Posted by Aphrodite Bull
She will not be put off by the words 'I love you.' In fact, if she feels that your feelings are genuine, she will actually be relieved. If she does not respond right away, don't panic. She will need some time to gather her feelings or assess her emotions. In the meantime, continue to court her, and make her laugh. Don't rush her or pressure her to say the words I LOVE YOU. She will in due time.

Surprisingly, I don't have a fear of being emotionally hurt, but I do have a fear of rejection. Or more so, I feel like it will push her further away.

Expressing emotion comes extremely easily to me, in fact I love doing so. I love to console people and help solve issues. Fortunately I've been careful to not say "ilu" yet, while I continue to evaluate my emotions.

I've never had girlfriends, only a few dates here and there, never had an emotional connection with anyone else before. She had a boyfriend a few years back, whom she actually called her boyfriend. She never calls me her boyfriend, although I know her feelings for that guy were nothing compared to her feelings for me, I know that for a fact.

Sags are impulsive & impatient. Most Cancers are shy & hate rejection. Funny! You have a Sun and Moon in both.

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This is probably why at times I feel like telling here immediately and at times feel like holding back.

Since you have a Sun and Moon in both... you may wish o avoid
1) Discussing the past (which includes ex-girlfriends) we love to progress. We hate to regress.
2) Being impatient and impulsive, which places a tremendous amount of pressure on us to make a spur of the moment decision. We hate that!

1) I agree, never had a gf, so it's not a problem. I do enjoy talking about the past, but only for the purpose of analyzing and improving on my mistakes/errors. I feel like I'm on a continual quest to improve myself, but I'm not one to "dwell on the past" like others do.
2) That brings me to my next point:

So here's another problem. I've said some pretty stupid things to her in the past. For example I said "I feel like I'm not good enough for you" or whatever. One time after we reengaged in 2009, I told her I've always had her in the back of my mind even when we were apart for those 5 or so years, she responded by saying "oh you know that I've had a boyfriend right?" Just the way that she said it seemed like she was putting up a huge wall. These things aren't as impulsive as they are emotionally needy.

As a result, I feel the need to apologize for myself for my past mistakes, I like to recognize my errors and redeem myself through apology, which is so obviously Cancerian. So now I feel like I've become a weaker person than her, and I really wan't to correct myself. However, in the last 6 months or so I've been really careful to keep my mouth shut, and it seems to be working so far.

Posted by Dynamite Parfait
Well, I would never say that Taurus and Sag doesn't work, because I've seen too many examples of it ACTUALLY WORKING to believe otherwise. Especially if Saggie has water in their chart, which you do or if Taurus has fire and/or air.

From what I know, I have a lot of Scorpio/Capricorn influence. I think she has a lot of Aquarius/Gemini influence in hers.

She can be somewhat intimidating because she has a Capricorn moon, which is interesting because she is into all these really girly mushy films like Twilight, romantic movies, Nicholas Sparks books, etc. This kind of worries me becaus Cancer and Cap moons are like oil and water. She has a Taurus Venus and Taurus Mercury, so she's REALLY Taurean yet at times there are things about her that are just too non-Taurean, like the fact she is a tiny bit impulsive, she likes adventure, she likes to have a change of scenery sometimes.

And don't flirt with other girls in front of her. Big NO-NO.

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Of course not, like I said I find most girls annoying as hell. I'm totally loyal.

I know I'm posting a lot, but just a few more things:

She really likes cheesy things, like long walks on the beach, candelit dinners, etc. I feel a lot of cheesy things are really cringeworthy, but I'll be willing to do them for her. I don't necessarily prefer impulsive things, but rather originality, something romantic that happens between us and is totally new and original is better than just being spontaneous for the sake of being spontaneous.


Also thank you guys so much for helping and for the advice.

Thanks for the input Aphrodite. What you said is pretty much exactly what I've been thinking. Because I've noticed that she likes my air sign traits, we have not lived together YET, so she hasn't seen my earth/water sign traits, which I'm sure will impress her.

As far as rejection goes, it's an uphill battle, because I have that fear with a lot of things, especially college and starting my career. But whatever, I like to analyze my faults and turn them upside down; I am trying.

I think more than anything, the fear I have with this Taurus is that she will not reciprocate everything I've given her. She's the only person I've opened up to and it feels like it's going nowhere. I feel like she's having dinner with friends, and I'm a waiter pouring water into her glass, then glass starts to overflow but she doesn't notice it, and I just keep pouring hoping that she'll turn her head. I have always done the heavy lifting (texting, calling, emailing, talking about "us", etc.), but I'm not complaining, just slightly worried. Now you said that she will eventually come around, but when will that be? What's the turning point? Do I have to marry her to get her to open up?

And King Pisces, I know other Sags who are cool but I know I'm not, I find myself rather annoying. :/

BINGO!

i just posted about this.

other signs send up flares...i don't. this isn't an SOS...yet.

Where did you post?

Also, by the way everyone, I'm just gonna go ahead and start considering myself a Cancer from now on. The more I focus on the good aspects of my double personality, the closer I get to true happiness.

Okay that was cheesy ...

I would really appreciate some more feedback on this, anyone.

🙂

Posted by cutiebullie
be patient.....

don't try to change her..... respect her for who she is.... if she is showing you all these unpleasant behavior etc, let her be herself......

I don't want to change her, I just want to understand her.

now, if you truly love her, you have to accept that she is not perfect....... but the love you have for her, will make your relationship perfect.....

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Yes I know. I realized after high school that the perfect girl for me is perfectly imperfect.




I've come to a realization that maybe she is not "acting" as much because I am not doing so either. I suppose I need to lead the way right? I know bulls don't like being controlled, but do they mind being led?

Well then maybe she's like you and wants to be led. She's never been in as serious a relationship as the one that we are in now, so she might not know how to tread.

Then again, I've never been in a relationship either, I've just been taking advice from friends as to how I should proceed.

Okay seriously I know I'm probably bugging a lot of you by now with my pincers, but I still need some clarification. I've become more and more confused as this thread went on.

I completely agree Bullie.

My biggest fear here is obviously rejection. That if I open up more and talk about emotions and stuff, which I'm practically bursting to do, she will run away. If I do let loose I'll come across as very clingy and/or needy and she will be overwhelmed.

Bottom line is that she's giving me mixed signals.

No amount of posts from people here will help your fear of rejection. Actually, it would be wise to stop rejecting yourself. You're a SAG, get over it. She knows it & all your other signs, she's seen it by how you act, speak, laugh & fart.

You want to know the one sure thing in life? You will get hurt. Oh and die. Eventually.

While you are ruminating, the are other men in her midst. Engage her, be her friend & grab happiness by it's ass. Happiness does not knock on our doors unless you won the publisher's clearinghouse whatever that is. When you see something you want,
you go get it. Set a goal, career, relationship and you go for it. It's all the same.

Posted by cutiebullie
hmm, you think she will end up breaking up with you? well...

be yourself.

if you think something that you will say will not please her, that's something you can't control though, it's up to her how she's going to take it.

sooner or later you will eventually get to this point, you can't escape this. you both can't sweep these issues under the carpet all the time.

stop thinking about what she will think when you say this or do that. just be who you are.

experience is an honest thing.

Well, I don't think she's about to break up with me. I just figured out today that's she's probably not as experienced in expressing herself as I am. Maybe she's just shy.

Yeah you're right, maybe the best way to overcome my minor fears is to just be confident and be myself.

Thanks. 😄