In desperate need of some advice
This topic was created in the Taurus forum by piscespiscescancer on Friday, February 24, 2017 and has 30 replies.
Hello, I am in some desperate need of some advice.
I don't even know where to start, this is such a long and crazy story. I'll try to break it down and simplify it as much as I can and I'll be happy to answer any questions.
I am a Pisces sun and Cancer moon, and my boyfriend is a Taurus sun and Capricorn moon (I'm pretty sure anyway).
Here is a bit of insight as to how he was in the beginning:
So I met this amazing guy about a year and a half ago, and we hit it off really well, he was everything I had ever wanted in a man and more. He was sweet, super caring, always wanted to give me gifts even if he didn't have money, was very thoughtful and selfless, laid on the compliments and charm super thick. He was very clingy and I loved it. He was very laid back and a happy kind of person, never got mad at anything and was very very tolerant of my moodiness. He was very vulnerable with me and told me everything about himself and shared everything with me. He was literally perfect to me. I adored him in every way.
The in between:
I pushed him away because I was very stressed out and depressed. (There are big reasons for that, and he dealt with all of this extremely well. I don't know how he did it.) I frequently felt very awful for being cranky and snappy with him. I would apologize for it often. He was amazing and I was a distant jerk that needed a lot of space. Then I hurt him by telling him I still loved my ex (not in the way that I still wanted to be with him, but in the way that I would always love him because I loved him kind of thing) and he got very very upset at me and called me names and cursed at me and we stopped talking for a few months, then we got back together and he was a lot different towards me.
Fast forward to now:
He is distant and cold, just like I was previously. I am the one that is ready for the lovey dovey clingy relationship that he was ready for before, and now he is the one being very distant and needing space.
We are on the verge of breaking up because I have been very clingy and needy. He is very closed off, stressed out, depressed and snappy. He can't deal with talking about relationship issues and he says I'm too emotional for him. (I'm basically being the way he used to be and he's being the way I used to be.)
I'm at my wits end with him. I feel like he'll discard me at any moment, and I feel as though I have to be a perfect, happy, angel in order for him to not walk away.
He's way more cold and distant than I ever was and he has blocked me on everything a few times now and didn't talk to me for a week each time.
Now any time I bring up anything that is even remotely negative, he gets very snappy and cold and threatens to walk away. He is extremely stressed and on edge all of the time.
How can I get him to de-stress and open back up? I don't want to ever hurt him again, and I am very serious about fixing things and loving him the way I wish I had in the very beginning.
I'm sorry there are so many pieces left out of my story, but it would turn into a novel if I typed everything that happened out. I'm also in a hurry to write this.
Short short version: I hurt a taurus man deeply, and I want to do anything I can to fix it, but now I'm "too clingy and needy" for him and he won't open up or talk about anything he deems negative in any way. I don't know what to do.
I don't even know where to start, this is such a long and crazy story. I'll try to break it down and simplify it as much as I can and I'll be happy to answer any questions.
I am a Pisces sun and Cancer moon, and my boyfriend is a Taurus sun and Capricorn moon (I'm pretty sure anyway).
Here is a bit of insight as to how he was in the beginning:
So I met this amazing guy about a year and a half ago, and we hit it off really well, he was everything I had ever wanted in a man and more. He was sweet, super caring, always wanted to give me gifts even if he didn't have money, was very thoughtful and selfless, laid on the compliments and charm super thick. He was very clingy and I loved it. He was very laid back and a happy kind of person, never got mad at anything and was very very tolerant of my moodiness. He was very vulnerable with me and told me everything about himself and shared everything with me. He was literally perfect to me. I adored him in every way.
The in between:
I pushed him away because I was very stressed out and depressed. (There are big reasons for that, and he dealt with all of this extremely well. I don't know how he did it.) I frequently felt very awful for being cranky and snappy with him. I would apologize for it often. He was amazing and I was a distant jerk that needed a lot of space. Then I hurt him by telling him I still loved my ex (not in the way that I still wanted to be with him, but in the way that I would always love him because I loved him kind of thing) and he got very very upset at me and called me names and cursed at me and we stopped talking for a few months, then we got back together and he was a lot different towards me.
Fast forward to now:
He is distant and cold, just like I was previously. I am the one that is ready for the lovey dovey clingy relationship that he was ready for before, and now he is the one being very distant and needing space.
We are on the verge of breaking up because I have been very clingy and needy. He is very closed off, stressed out, depressed and snappy. He can't deal with talking about relationship issues and he says I'm too emotional for him. (I'm basically being the way he used to be and he's being the way I used to be.)
I'm at my wits end with him. I feel like he'll discard me at any moment, and I feel as though I have to be a perfect, happy, angel in order for him to not walk away.
He's way more cold and distant than I ever was and he has blocked me on everything a few times now and didn't talk to me for a week each time.
Now any time I bring up anything that is even remotely negative, he gets very snappy and cold and threatens to walk away. He is extremely stressed and on edge all of the time.
How can I get him to de-stress and open back up? I don't want to ever hurt him again, and I am very serious about fixing things and loving him the way I wish I had in the very beginning.
I'm sorry there are so many pieces left out of my story, but it would turn into a novel if I typed everything that happened out. I'm also in a hurry to write this.
Short short version: I hurt a taurus man deeply, and I want to do anything I can to fix it, but now I'm "too clingy and needy" for him and he won't open up or talk about anything he deems negative in any way. I don't know what to do.
Dammit! I wrote a long response to this and it never posted -_-.
Anyways, to be honest, you're not the problem. You owned your actions, apologized and more than made up for it. It's in the past now.
What I see here is someone who's showing you who they are. He's very emotionally and mentally abusive. He constantly threatens to leave you, leaving you on edge and in a state of worry and insecurity. He puts you down and disrepects you. He has you exactly where he wants you. This way he has total control of you, always looking to make him happy especially since he has you believing you're at fault and he's the victim.
He doesn't want to discuss the past because it's no longer an issue. This is the real him, the person he was in the beginning was a show or something he showed you to reel you in. It's hard to believe but think about it, if the roles were reversed, what would you do? If you were really hurt, wouldn't you just move on or wonder what you could've done better or forgive and forget to move forward together, or any other option besides sticking around to abuse him and disregard his feelings?
You definitely don't deserve all this! I'd say either let him know his behaviour is not acceptable, or drop him. But if you choose to stay, keep in mind:
When they show you who they are, believe them.
Good luck and all the best!
Anyways, to be honest, you're not the problem. You owned your actions, apologized and more than made up for it. It's in the past now.
What I see here is someone who's showing you who they are. He's very emotionally and mentally abusive. He constantly threatens to leave you, leaving you on edge and in a state of worry and insecurity. He puts you down and disrepects you. He has you exactly where he wants you. This way he has total control of you, always looking to make him happy especially since he has you believing you're at fault and he's the victim.
He doesn't want to discuss the past because it's no longer an issue. This is the real him, the person he was in the beginning was a show or something he showed you to reel you in. It's hard to believe but think about it, if the roles were reversed, what would you do? If you were really hurt, wouldn't you just move on or wonder what you could've done better or forgive and forget to move forward together, or any other option besides sticking around to abuse him and disregard his feelings?
You definitely don't deserve all this! I'd say either let him know his behaviour is not acceptable, or drop him. But if you choose to stay, keep in mind:
When they show you who they are, believe them.
Good luck and all the best!
all I can say is that I sort of understand where he's coming from - he cares about you but he's on the edge of not knowing if he can continue (take the risk and carry on) with the relationship or if it's just a dead end and it will never work - not a good place to be but he's torn ...
all I can offer is that you stop being so clingy and needy and show him you care best you can and communicate a lot about how you see the future for both of you - together ...
all I can offer is that you stop being so clingy and needy and show him you care best you can and communicate a lot about how you see the future for both of you - together ...
well that sums it up !
next !
next !
Posted by Gob_ShiteThis. He treated you well and you wanted someone else. He treats you like shit and now you can't get enough.
So, you met 'the man of your dreams' who swept you off your feet, you then shat on him from a great height (several times) and used him as a punchbag, and you're now distraught that he doesn't love you the way he did before.
Hmmm... Let me muse over that one when I next visit La La Land...
I don't understand women sometimes.
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100Same with my ex Pisces best friend. There was only so much I could tolerate and unfortunately I tolerated too much (perhaps due to my Pisces moon) but then my Scorp bits kicked in and kicked her out my life.Posted by Gob_ShiteUnfortunately for the OP, she is very much a "Pisces"...
So, you met 'the man of your dreams' who swept you off your feet, you then shat on him from a great height (several times) and used him as a punchbag, and you're now distraught that he doesn't love you the way he did before.
Hmmm... Let me muse over that one when I next visit La La Land...
They have a tendency to "push you under a bus" when they become depressed and habe emotional issues....
I had a female friend of mine in my life for 9 years and she was a Pisces I had to put an end to that friendship as her emotions were too unstable for me.
I met another Pisces friend at work and knew her for 6 months and she stirred things up with a couple of youngster at work and push me right under the bus... I have totally distanced myself from her by doing a Taurus "fade" out.....
Out of all the water signs, Pisces are the worse....click to expand
She was an alcoholic. Great when sober but a nightmare when not.
You guys might need to have a talk about the ex situation again, since that's what made your relationship take a turn for the worse. He might be treating you badly right now because he wants to slowly end things that way, some Tauruses do that. Either way, you need to sit him down and have a proper talk with him about where your relationship will go on from here.
Sort out your own feelings first and think about what you want, and if you want to continue to be with him. Then tell him honestly how you feel and ask him to be honest with why he's behaving the way he is. Get him to open up, because it seems like there's a lot of miscommunication between you guys right now.
Sort out your own feelings first and think about what you want, and if you want to continue to be with him. Then tell him honestly how you feel and ask him to be honest with why he's behaving the way he is. Get him to open up, because it seems like there's a lot of miscommunication between you guys right now.
what was the point for you to tell him you still loved your ex and will always love him? to reward his attentiveness and affection towards you? to test him to see whether he is a saint and your savior? or is that you are just one of those who cannot keep anything to yourself to save your life?
Unfortunately, you most likely will not be able to come back from this.
When Taurus closes up they tend to stay closed to you. Especially since you broke up for months then got back together.
Even if he loves you, that first version of the Taurus guy probably won't come back. You'll have to love and accept the version he became or move on.
This behavior isn't uncommon for the situation.
Was it his idea or your idea to get back together? Who initiated that?
When Taurus closes up they tend to stay closed to you. Especially since you broke up for months then got back together.
Even if he loves you, that first version of the Taurus guy probably won't come back. You'll have to love and accept the version he became or move on.
This behavior isn't uncommon for the situation.
Was it his idea or your idea to get back together? Who initiated that?
Posted by ShadowcatI just got upset because he wanted to know every single thing I was doing in my life, what I was eating, where I was going, he was being a 5 stage clinger. He even got upset if I tabbed out of our conversation to look at other things while we were talking in a chat and I didn't answer promptly. He was very insecure and was very needy. That stressed me out and I would snap at him for being so needy and clingy. I never ever called him names though, I just kind of got really cranky and snappy at him for being up my butt all of the time while I just wanted a lot of space because I was stressed out and depressed.Posted by piscespiscescancerCan you explain the extent of your crankiness? Did you insult him? Call him names? Is your ex still in your life/are you two friends?
Hello, I am in some desperate need of some advice.
I don't even know where to start, this is such a long and crazy story. I'll try to break it down and simplify it as much as I can and I'll be happy to answer any questions.
I am a Pisces sun and Cancer moon, and my boyfriend is a Taurus sun and Capricorn moon (I'm pretty sure anyway).
Here is a bit of insight as to how he was in the beginning:
So I met this amazing guy about a year and a half ago, and we hit it off really well, he was everything I had ever wanted in a man and more. He was sweet, super caring, always wanted to give me gifts even if he didn't have money, was very thoughtful and selfless, laid on the compliments and charm super thick. He was very clingy and I loved it. He was very laid back and a happy kind of person, never got mad at anything and was very very tolerant of my moodiness. He was very vulnerable with me and told me everything about himself and shared everything with me. He was literally perfect to me. I adored him in every way.
The in between:
I pushed him away because I was very stressed out and depressed. (There are big reasons for that, and he dealt with all of this extremely well. I don't know how he did it.) I frequently felt very awful for being cranky and snappy with him. I would apologize for it often. He was amazing and I was a distant jerk that needed a lot of space. Then I hurt him by telling him I still loved my ex (not in the way that I still wanted to be with him, but in the way that I would always love him because I loved him kind of thing) and he got very very upset at me and called me names and cursed at me and we stopped talking for a few months, then we got back together and he was a lot different towards me.
Fast forward to now:
He is distant and cold, just like I was previously. I am the one that is ready for the lovey dovey clingy relationship that he was ready for before, and now he is the one being very distant and needing space.
We are on the verge of breaking up because I have been very clingy and needy. He is very closed off, stressed out, depressed and snappy. He can't deal with talking about relationship issues and he says I'm too emotional for him. (I'm basically being the way he used to be and he's being the way I used to be.)
I'm at my wits end with him. I feel like he'll discard me at any moment, and I feel as though I have to be a perfect, happy, angel in order for him to not walk away.
He's way more cold and distant than I ever was and he has blocked me on everything a few times now and didn't talk to me for a week each time.
Now any time I bring up anything that is even remotely negative, he gets very snappy and cold and threatens to walk away. He is extremely stressed and on edge all of the time.
How can I get him to de-stress and open back up? I don't want to ever hurt him again, and I am very serious about fixing things and loving him the way I wish I had in the very beginning.
I'm sorry there are so many pieces left out of my story, but it would turn into a novel if I typed everything that happened out. I'm also in a hurry to write this.
Short short version: I hurt a taurus man deeply, and I want to do anything I can to fix it, but now I'm "too clingy and needy" for him and he won't open up or talk about anything he deems negative in any way. I don't know what to do.click to expand
My ex is in my life, but only because we have a credit card debt together and we talk about the payments. I no longer love my ex at all, not even a little bit, and I truly regret ever saying that I still loved him. That was my mistake, and I've felt terrible about it ever since.
Posted by Aries_LuminaryI contacted him first, and he was very surprised to hear from me, but he said he had been missing me.
Unfortunately, you most likely will not be able to come back from this.
When Taurus closes up they tend to stay closed to you. Especially since you broke up for months then got back together.
Even if he loves you, that first version of the Taurus guy probably won't come back. You'll have to love and accept the version he became or move on.
This behavior isn't uncommon for the situation.
Was it his idea or your idea to get back together? Who initiated that?
Posted by iCloud9We had a talk about our exes, and I was still in my exes life. (I had to be because of credit card debt we still talk about payments about)
what was the point for you to tell him you still loved your ex and will always love him? to reward his attentiveness and affection towards you? to test him to see whether he is a saint and your savior? or is that you are just one of those who cannot keep anything to yourself to save your life?
@JohnTheBaptist100
I have to disagree, not ALL pisces are like that.. To be honest, I'm the type that doesn't get depressed or emotional easily. It's kinda hard for me to fully express my emotions to people, therefore most of the times I never mention them... Even if I really like a guy, I still wouldn't express it (maybe this have to do with my Aqua Ven.. Who knows)...
But with that being said, you have to look at a person's chart to determine how they handle/express their emotions. She did mention earlier in her post that she's a Pisces w/ a Cancer moon.. We all know that Cancer placements can make an individual fairly emotional.
Now to the young lady @piscespiscescancer
You kinda messed your own relationship up. I know many are saying this, but you have to give him some space. You've hurt his emotions... Think about it... he dealt with your distancing, depression, aloofness, your confession about your ex, etc...
That's ALOT for a person to deal with... He took all of your blows and now the only way to deal with this is by taking his blows... Give him time and space and maybe he'll come around.. I say "maybe" because with all that you've put him through, you showed your inconsistent side and knowing Taurus' they do not like inconsistency.
I have to disagree, not ALL pisces are like that.. To be honest, I'm the type that doesn't get depressed or emotional easily. It's kinda hard for me to fully express my emotions to people, therefore most of the times I never mention them... Even if I really like a guy, I still wouldn't express it (maybe this have to do with my Aqua Ven.. Who knows)...
But with that being said, you have to look at a person's chart to determine how they handle/express their emotions. She did mention earlier in her post that she's a Pisces w/ a Cancer moon.. We all know that Cancer placements can make an individual fairly emotional.
Now to the young lady @piscespiscescancer
You kinda messed your own relationship up. I know many are saying this, but you have to give him some space. You've hurt his emotions... Think about it... he dealt with your distancing, depression, aloofness, your confession about your ex, etc...
That's ALOT for a person to deal with... He took all of your blows and now the only way to deal with this is by taking his blows... Give him time and space and maybe he'll come around.. I say "maybe" because with all that you've put him through, you showed your inconsistent side and knowing Taurus' they do not like inconsistency.
Did you want to see how far your Taurus would swim down with you?
He's in love, if you want to mend old wounds, you will have to work your butt off. Chances are he's heading in a different direction. He rather create a new story than deal with continually bringing the past into the future (that's how the Taurus mind works)
He's in love, if you want to mend old wounds, you will have to work your butt off. Chances are he's heading in a different direction. He rather create a new story than deal with continually bringing the past into the future (that's how the Taurus mind works)
Posted by ShadowcatCommunicating with him is hard, he never wants to talk about anything remotely negative. His problems, my problems, our problems. He's very stressed out and on edge about anything that could make him sad/upset.Posted by piscespiscescancerYou should have ended it after the ex incident.
Hello, I am in some desperate need of some advice.
I don't even know where to start, this is such a long and crazy story. I'll try to break it down and simplify it as much as I can and I'll be happy to answer any questions.
I am a Pisces sun and Cancer moon, and my boyfriend is a Taurus sun and Capricorn moon (I'm pretty sure anyway).
Here is a bit of insight as to how he was in the beginning:
So I met this amazing guy about a year and a half ago, and we hit it off really well, he was everything I had ever wanted in a man and more. He was sweet, super caring, always wanted to give me gifts even if he didn't have money, was very thoughtful and selfless, laid on the compliments and charm super thick. He was very clingy and I loved it. He was very laid back and a happy kind of person, never got mad at anything and was very very tolerant of my moodiness. He was very vulnerable with me and told me everything about himself and shared everything with me. He was literally perfect to me. I adored him in every way.
The in between:
I pushed him away because I was very stressed out and depressed. (There are big reasons for that, and he dealt with all of this extremely well. I don't know how he did it.) I frequently felt very awful for being cranky and snappy with him. I would apologize for it often. He was amazing and I was a distant jerk that needed a lot of space. Then I hurt him by telling him I still loved my ex (not in the way that I still wanted to be with him, but in the way that I would always love him because I loved him kind of thing) and he got very very upset at me and called me names and cursed at me and we stopped talking for a few months, then we got back together and he was a lot different towards me.
Fast forward to now:
He is distant and cold, just like I was previously. I am the one that is ready for the lovey dovey clingy relationship that he was ready for before, and now he is the one being very distant and needing space.
We are on the verge of breaking up because I have been very clingy and needy. He is very closed off, stressed out, depressed and snappy. He can't deal with talking about relationship issues and he says I'm too emotional for him. (I'm basically being the way he used to be and he's being the way I used to be.)
I'm at my wits end with him. I feel like he'll discard me at any moment, and I feel as though I have to be a perfect, happy, angel in order for him to not walk away.
He's way more cold and distant than I ever was and he has blocked me on everything a few times now and didn't talk to me for a week each time.
Now any time I bring up anything that is even remotely negative, he gets very snappy and cold and threatens to walk away. He is extremely stressed and on edge all of the time.
How can I get him to de-stress and open back up? I don't want to ever hurt him again, and I am very serious about fixing things and loving him the way I wish I had in the very beginning.
I'm sorry there are so many pieces left out of my story, but it would turn into a novel if I typed everything that happened out. I'm also in a hurry to write this.
Short short version: I hurt a taurus man deeply, and I want to do anything I can to fix it, but now I'm "too clingy and needy" for him and he won't open up or talk about anything he deems negative in any way. I don't know what to do.
That being said, how have your attempts to communicate with him gone?click to expand
Posted by Shadowcatyes, extremely platonic. I have no feelings what-so-ever, not even the feelings I thought I did have at the time I said what I said.Posted by piscespiscescancerBut you meant platonically right?Posted by ShadowcatI just got upset because he wanted to know every single thing I was doing in my life, what I was eating, where I was going, he was being a 5 stage clinger. He even got upset if I tabbed out of our conversation to look at other things while we were talking in a chat and I didn't answer promptly. He was very insecure and was very needy. That stressed me out and I would snap at him for being so needy and clingy. I never ever called him names though, I just kind of got really cranky and snappy at him for being up my butt all of the time while I just wanted a lot of space because I was stressed out and depressed.Posted by piscespiscescancerCan you explain the extent of your crankiness? Did you insult him? Call him names? Is your ex still in your life/are you two friends?
Hello, I am in some desperate need of some advice.
I don't even know where to start, this is such a long and crazy story. I'll try to break it down and simplify it as much as I can and I'll be happy to answer any questions.
I am a Pisces sun and Cancer moon, and my boyfriend is a Taurus sun and Capricorn moon (I'm pretty sure anyway).
Here is a bit of insight as to how he was in the beginning:
So I met this amazing guy about a year and a half ago, and we hit it off really well, he was everything I had ever wanted in a man and more. He was sweet, super caring, always wanted to give me gifts even if he didn't have money, was very thoughtful and selfless, laid on the compliments and charm super thick. He was very clingy and I loved it. He was very laid back and a happy kind of person, never got mad at anything and was very very tolerant of my moodiness. He was very vulnerable with me and told me everything about himself and shared everything with me. He was literally perfect to me. I adored him in every way.
The in between:
I pushed him away because I was very stressed out and depressed. (There are big reasons for that, and he dealt with all of this extremely well. I don't know how he did it.) I frequently felt very awful for being cranky and snappy with him. I would apologize for it often. He was amazing and I was a distant jerk that needed a lot of space. Then I hurt him by telling him I still loved my ex (not in the way that I still wanted to be with him, but in the way that I would always love him because I loved him kind of thing) and he got very very upset at me and called me names and cursed at me and we stopped talking for a few months, then we got back together and he was a lot different towards me.
Fast forward to now:
He is distant and cold, just like I was previously. I am the one that is ready for the lovey dovey clingy relationship that he was ready for before, and now he is the one being very distant and needing space.
We are on the verge of breaking up because I have been very clingy and needy. He is very closed off, stressed out, depressed and snappy. He can't deal with talking about relationship issues and he says I'm too emotional for him. (I'm basically being the way he used to be and he's being the way I used to be.)
I'm at my wits end with him. I feel like he'll discard me at any moment, and I feel as though I have to be a perfect, happy, angel in order for him to not walk away.
He's way more cold and distant than I ever was and he has blocked me on everything a few times now and didn't talk to me for a week each time.
Now any time I bring up anything that is even remotely negative, he gets very snappy and cold and threatens to walk away. He is extremely stressed and on edge all of the time.
How can I get him to de-stress and open back up? I don't want to ever hurt him again, and I am very serious about fixing things and loving him the way I wish I had in the very beginning.
I'm sorry there are so many pieces left out of my story, but it would turn into a novel if I typed everything that happened out. I'm also in a hurry to write this.
Short short version: I hurt a taurus man deeply, and I want to do anything I can to fix it, but now I'm "too clingy and needy" for him and he won't open up or talk about anything he deems negative in any way. I don't know what to do.
My ex is in my life, but only because we have a credit card debt together and we talk about the payments. I no longer love my ex at all, not even a little bit, and I truly regret ever saying that I still loved him. That was my mistake, and I've felt terrible about it ever since.click to expand
Posted by umisaidI've been trying, but he says I'm being too needy and clingy and wants lots of space (but also wants me to always be around), so I don't really know how to show him I love him and that I'm here for him without seeming needy and clingy.
Did you want to see how far your Taurus would swim down with you?
He's in love, if you want to mend old wounds, you will have to work your butt off. Chances are he's heading in a different direction. He rather create a new story than deal with continually bringing the past into the future (that's how the Taurus mind works)
Posted by DeeLovesRedI'm unfortunately very emotional. I try my hardest not to be, but I have a lot of water in my chart. (Pisces rising, pisces venus, pisces sun, cancer moon)
@JohnTheBaptist100
I have to disagree, not ALL pisces are like that.. To be honest, I'm the type that doesn't get depressed or emotional easily. It's kinda hard for me to fully express my emotions to people, therefore most of the times I never mention them... Even if I really like a guy, I still wouldn't express it (maybe this have to do with my Aqua Ven.. Who knows)...
But with that being said, you have to look at a person's chart to determine how they handle/express their emotions. She did mention earlier in her post that she's a Pisces w/ a Cancer moon.. We all know that Cancer placements can make an individual fairly emotional.
Now to the young lady @piscespiscescancer
You kinda messed your own relationship up. I know many are saying this, but you have to give him some space. You've hurt his emotions... Think about it... he dealt with your distancing, depression, aloofness, your confession about your ex, etc...
That's ALOT for a person to deal with... He took all of your blows and now the only way to deal with this is by taking his blows... Give him time and space and maybe he'll come around.. I say "maybe" because with all that you've put him through, you showed your inconsistent side and knowing Taurus' they do not like inconsistency.
I know I messed it up, I was just very put off by his excessive clingyness and needyness at the time when I was depressed and stressed out. I would often apologize and remind him that I did adore him and that I was sorry I couldn't be what he wanted me to be at the time. Now the roles are completely reversed but he has only apologized a few times for the way he has been towards me.
He does however still give me random kisses, and is sweet sometimes, but he's mostly very snappy and critical, and says he wants space, but always wants me around at the same time.
Posted by Gob_ShiteI was very stressed and depressed at the time, and he was being a five stage clinger. He was being very needy and couldn't understand that I needed some space. (I'm talking he needed to know who I was talking to, what I was doing, what I was eating, got sad if I were to tab out of our conversations.) I was just very snappy at him being this way with me and not understanding that I needed space, but I frequently apologized for my snappiness.
So, you met 'the man of your dreams' who swept you off your feet, you then shat on him from a great height (several times) and used him as a punchbag, and you're now distraught that he doesn't love you the way he did before.
Hmmm... Let me muse over that one when I next visit La La Land...
I still feel terrible about it all, and I wish I had met him after that stressful and depressed time of my life. I would have welcomed his clinginess/neediness with open arms. (Because I'm the same way he used to be.)
Posted by themilkyway36He refuses to talk about anything to do with our relationship right now, or anything that could make him sad/upset. I have to be perfect and happy for him to be happy with me, or else he leaves and won't talk to me for the whole day, and lately he has been leaving for weeks at a time.
You guys might need to have a talk about the ex situation again, since that's what made your relationship take a turn for the worse. He might be treating you badly right now because he wants to slowly end things that way, some Tauruses do that. Either way, you need to sit him down and have a proper talk with him about where your relationship will go on from here.
Sort out your own feelings first and think about what you want, and if you want to continue to be with him. Then tell him honestly how you feel and ask him to be honest with why he's behaving the way he is. Get him to open up, because it seems like there's a lot of miscommunication between you guys right now.
I feel like I'm backed into a corner. I can't talk about anything to do with our relationship, and I can't be too clingy needy, but I also can't be distant, and he always wants me around but doesn't want me to be too clingy. (He's extremely confusing right now)
Also, when we do talk, it's like I'm speaking a completely different language than him. He's the only person I've ever had this many problems communicating with.
He says he wants to be with me, but he needs a lot of space, and says he wants to get better. (He wants to get over his depression and stress.)
Posted by shakedownYeah... I wish I had never said that. That's what broke him the most out of everything. I no longer feel that way about my ex though, so I wish I could take it all back. I'm ready to give my whole self to this guy, it's just hard because he's not working as a team with me anymore.
OP, I am also a Pisces and understand from where you are coming. When our emotions take us under, they really take us under. Its is complete darkness and nothing outside of medication can bring us out of it (hyperbolizing here).
However, it was very hurtful for you to tell him about your ex. As a Taurus moon and rising, I am very serious about loyalty with lovers, family and friends. I don't think it was the pushing him away and snarkiness that is keeping him cold and distant, I think it was the mention of the ex-boyfriend.
I think a Taurus needs all of you or nothing. I do anyway. If I can't have all of you, then what is the point? It just sort of shows that you are not serious about US...about what we are SUPPOSE to be building as a team.
I am sorry for your plight and hope you two work it out ☹️. Fuckin' love blows sometimes.
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100I wasn't abusive, I was just snappy with him. I never ever called him names or belittled him, just frequently told him I needed some space and that I loved spending time with him I just wasn't ready for the super lovey dovey stuff at the time. I only got snappy when he crossed the boundaries, and he did so frequently.Posted by piscespiscescancerBe grateful when a Taurus pays any kind of interest in your life as if we don't care about you we don't a shit and ask you any questions... So all he got for paying an interest in your was your nasty abusive attitude.Posted by ShadowcatI just got upset because he wanted to know every single thing I was doing in my life, what I was eating, where I was going, he was being a 5 stage clinger. He even got upset if I tabbed out of our conversation to look at other things while we were talking in a chat and I didn't answer promptly. He was very insecure and was very needy. That stressed me out and I would snap at him for being so needy and clingy. I never ever called him names though, I just kind of got really cranky and snappy at him for being up my butt all of the time while I just wanted a lot of space because I was stressed out and depressed.Posted by piscespiscescancerCan you explain the extent of your crankiness? Did you insult him? Call him names? Is your ex still in your life/are you two friends?
Hello, I am in some desperate need of some advice.
I don't even know where to start, this is such a long and crazy story. I'll try to break it down and simplify it as much as I can and I'll be happy to answer any questions.
I am a Pisces sun and Cancer moon, and my boyfriend is a Taurus sun and Capricorn moon (I'm pretty sure anyway).
Here is a bit of insight as to how he was in the beginning:
So I met this amazing guy about a year and a half ago, and we hit it off really well, he was everything I had ever wanted in a man and more. He was sweet, super caring, always wanted to give me gifts even if he didn't have money, was very thoughtful and selfless, laid on the compliments and charm super thick. He was very clingy and I loved it. He was very laid back and a happy kind of person, never got mad at anything and was very very tolerant of my moodiness. He was very vulnerable with me and told me everything about himself and shared everything with me. He was literally perfect to me. I adored him in every way.
The in between:
I pushed him away because I was very stressed out and depressed. (There are big reasons for that, and he dealt with all of this extremely well. I don't know how he did it.) I frequently felt very awful for being cranky and snappy with him. I would apologize for it often. He was amazing and I was a distant jerk that needed a lot of space. Then I hurt him by telling him I still loved my ex (not in the way that I still wanted to be with him, but in the way that I would always love him because I loved him kind of thing) and he got very very upset at me and called me names and cursed at me and we stopped talking for a few months, then we got back together and he was a lot different towards me.
Fast forward to now:
He is distant and cold, just like I was previously. I am the one that is ready for the lovey dovey clingy relationship that he was ready for before, and now he is the one being very distant and needing space.
We are on the verge of breaking up because I have been very clingy and needy. He is very closed off, stressed out, depressed and snappy. He can't deal with talking about relationship issues and he says I'm too emotional for him. (I'm basically being the way he used to be and he's being the way I used to be.)
I'm at my wits end with him. I feel like he'll discard me at any moment, and I feel as though I have to be a perfect, happy, angel in order for him to not walk away.
He's way more cold and distant than I ever was and he has blocked me on everything a few times now and didn't talk to me for a week each time.
Now any time I bring up anything that is even remotely negative, he gets very snappy and cold and threatens to walk away. He is extremely stressed and on edge all of the time.
How can I get him to de-stress and open back up? I don't want to ever hurt him again, and I am very serious about fixing things and loving him the way I wish I had in the very beginning.
I'm sorry there are so many pieces left out of my story, but it would turn into a novel if I typed everything that happened out. I'm also in a hurry to write this.
Short short version: I hurt a taurus man deeply, and I want to do anything I can to fix it, but now I'm "too clingy and needy" for him and he won't open up or talk about anything he deems negative in any way. I don't know what to do.
My ex is in my life, but only because we have a credit card debt together and we talk about the payments. I no longer love my ex at all, not even a little bit, and I truly regret ever saying that I still loved him. That was my mistake, and I've felt terrible about it ever since.
Lots of women would give their right arm for a guy like that and you just take it for granted and toss him aside until you "feel" better.... Well, he in turn has now told you to "F you" and the roles are now reversed....
I suggest you leave him alone.... This Taurus thanks to you has now checked of of your relationship. If you decide to hassle him he will keep you aound whilst he looks for your replacement....
Your Taurus is showing signs of resentment... The original version you destroyed now you have a copy which is what you created..
He is better off starting a brand new relationship. That is what most Tauruses prefer. Why rehash an old one when we can start a brand new one.. There is always someone waiting in the wings for a Taurus..
You got what you created... Go and sort yourself out and get your emotions in check before embarking on your next relationship because this one is over.....click to expand
He says he wants to marry me, and calls me his wife all of the time. I just don't know how to be there for him but also give him space. He always wants me around, but doesn't want me talking about anything that could make him sad or upset, and he doesn't want me to be needy or clingy. (Even though he used to love neediness and clinginess.) Everything I do seems to upset him as well.
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100I did tell him that I was depressed and stressed, he knew that. We always had fun talking and laughing with each other until he got really pushy. We were best friends other than those times. I always explained to him that I was really stressed and depressed and I needed some space. He was just very worried I was just going to run off with some other guy and leave him or something.Posted by piscespiscescancerExactly... On your terms... Not you are getting your just desserts....Posted by JohnTheBaptist100I wasn't abusive, I was just snappy with him. I never ever called him names or belittled him, just frequently told him I needed some space and that I loved spending time with him I just wasn't ready for the super lovey dovey stuff at the time. I only got snappy when he crossed the boundaries, and he did so frequently.Posted by piscespiscescancerBe grateful when a Taurus pays any kind of interest in your life as if we don't care about you we don't a shit and ask you any questions... So all he got for paying an interest in your was your nasty abusive attitude.Posted by ShadowcatI just got upset because he wanted to know every single thing I was doing in my life, what I was eating, where I was going, he was being a 5 stage clinger. He even got upset if I tabbed out of our conversation to look at other things while we were talking in a chat and I didn't answer promptly. He was very insecure and was very needy. That stressed me out and I would snap at him for being so needy and clingy. I never ever called him names though, I just kind of got really cranky and snappy at him for being up my butt all of the time while I just wanted a lot of space because I was stressed out and depressed.Posted by piscespiscescancerCan you explain the extent of your crankiness? Did you insult him? Call him names? Is your ex still in your life/are you two friends?
Hello, I am in some desperate need of some advice.
I don't even know where to start, this is such a long and crazy story. I'll try to break it down and simplify it as much as I can and I'll be happy to answer any questions.
I am a Pisces sun and Cancer moon, and my boyfriend is a Taurus sun and Capricorn moon (I'm pretty sure anyway).
Here is a bit of insight as to how he was in the beginning:
So I met this amazing guy about a year and a half ago, and we hit it off really well, he was everything I had ever wanted in a man and more. He was sweet, super caring, always wanted to give me gifts even if he didn't have money, was very thoughtful and selfless, laid on the compliments and charm super thick. He was very clingy and I loved it. He was very laid back and a happy kind of person, never got mad at anything and was very very tolerant of my moodiness. He was very vulnerable with me and told me everything about himself and shared everything with me. He was literally perfect to me. I adored him in every way.
The in between:
I pushed him away because I was very stressed out and depressed. (There are big reasons for that, and he dealt with all of this extremely well. I don't know how he did it.) I frequently felt very awful for being cranky and snappy with him. I would apologize for it often. He was amazing and I was a distant jerk that needed a lot of space. Then I hurt him by telling him I still loved my ex (not in the way that I still wanted to be with him, but in the way that I would always love him because I loved him kind of thing) and he got very very upset at me and called me names and cursed at me and we stopped talking for a few months, then we got back together and he was a lot different towards me.
Fast forward to now:
He is distant and cold, just like I was previously. I am the one that is ready for the lovey dovey clingy relationship that he was ready for before, and now he is the one being very distant and needing space.
We are on the verge of breaking up because I have been very clingy and needy. He is very closed off, stressed out, depressed and snappy. He can't deal with talking about relationship issues and he says I'm too emotional for him. (I'm basically being the way he used to be and he's being the way I used to be.)
I'm at my wits end with him. I feel like he'll discard me at any moment, and I feel as though I have to be a perfect, happy, angel in order for him to not walk away.
He's way more cold and distant than I ever was and he has blocked me on everything a few times now and didn't talk to me for a week each time.
Now any time I bring up anything that is even remotely negative, he gets very snappy and cold and threatens to walk away. He is extremely stressed and on edge all of the time.
How can I get him to de-stress and open back up? I don't want to ever hurt him again, and I am very serious about fixing things and loving him the way I wish I had in the very beginning.
I'm sorry there are so many pieces left out of my story, but it would turn into a novel if I typed everything that happened out. I'm also in a hurry to write this.
Short short version: I hurt a taurus man deeply, and I want to do anything I can to fix it, but now I'm "too clingy and needy" for him and he won't open up or talk about anything he deems negative in any way. I don't know what to do.
My ex is in my life, but only because we have a credit card debt together and we talk about the payments. I no longer love my ex at all, not even a little bit, and I truly regret ever saying that I still loved him. That was my mistake, and I've felt terrible about it ever since.
Lots of women would give their right arm for a guy like that and you just take it for granted and toss him aside until you "feel" better.... Well, he in turn has now told you to "F you" and the roles are now reversed....
I suggest you leave him alone.... This Taurus thanks to you has now checked of of your relationship. If you decide to hassle him he will keep you aound whilst he looks for your replacement....
Your Taurus is showing signs of resentment... The original version you destroyed now you have a copy which is what you created..
He is better off starting a brand new relationship. That is what most Tauruses prefer. Why rehash an old one when we can start a brand new one.. There is always someone waiting in the wings for a Taurus..
You got what you created... Go and sort yourself out and get your emotions in check before embarking on your next relationship because this one is over.....
He says he wants to marry me, and calls me his wife all of the time. I just don't know how to be there for him but also give him space. He always wants me around, but doesn't want me talking about anything that could make him sad or upset, and he doesn't want me to be needy or clingy. (Even though he used to love neediness and clinginess.) Everything I do seems to upset him as well.
Treat people how you wish to be treated...
If you are having depression tell the person don't take it out on them or put yourself in solitary confinement until you are fit enough mentally...
All the pisces I know are mentally unstable and have a tendency to push others under a bus...
Your Taurus is doing the exact same thing to you as what I am doing to a Pisces female friend who is just like you and pushed me under a bus... I keep her around and entertain her and go along with whatever she says but she will have notice (as you have with your Taurus) that my actions and attitude towards her has changed even though my language has stayed the same...
That Taurus will never marry you and will give you lip service until the time is right until he is strong enough to dump you, finally..click to expand
I normally am not like that though. I was going through a really rough time and had just got out of a really abusive relationship, and had a lot of pstd from that relationship.
My taurus boyfriend isn't like that at all, he has dumped girls and never looked back. He's not sticking around because he's not strong enough. He's also very honorable and honest, he doesn't know how to be the kind of guy you're describing. "Lip service until he can dump you."
He just keeps telling me to be patient and let him get over his depression and stress so that he can be better for our relationship, but I don't know how to be there for him without upsetting him.
He's likely to be sticking around because he wants to trust you again. The problem is after hearing how you will always love your ex boyfriend how could he ever truly trust you?
Posted by piscespiscescanceremotional security is a way to a Taurus heart tbh.Posted by umisaidI've been trying, but he says I'm being too needy and clingy and wants lots of space (but also wants me to always be around), so I don't really know how to show him I love him and that I'm here for him without seeming needy and clingy.
Did you want to see how far your Taurus would swim down with you?
He's in love, if you want to mend old wounds, you will have to work your butt off. Chances are he's heading in a different direction. He rather create a new story than deal with continually bringing the past into the future (that's how the Taurus mind works)click to expand
if you want to win him back, be ready to prove it.
Speak about your feelings without forcing him to share his. This in turn models the way you would like him to be. This builds trust, and communication is established.
Posted by jeaneThis is what I'm saying
He's likely to be sticking around because he wants to trust you again. The problem is after hearing how you will always love your ex boyfriend how could he ever truly trust you?
Read all the posts above.
I feel you should just take some time and cool off a bit. But in the long run, I can't really see the Taurus and you having a stable relationship because you don't strike me as being emotionally stable yourself.
Until, both of you can stabilise, I don't see things going long term.
Otherwise, Taurus and Pisces have a pretty sweet relationship.
Have you been snooping around the Taurus forum for some time? Or just joined?
I feel you should just take some time and cool off a bit. But in the long run, I can't really see the Taurus and you having a stable relationship because you don't strike me as being emotionally stable yourself.
Until, both of you can stabilise, I don't see things going long term.
Otherwise, Taurus and Pisces have a pretty sweet relationship.
Have you been snooping around the Taurus forum for some time? Or just joined?
Posted by NefertariThis is my first time on this site, I was looking up things about Taurus and stumbled upon it.
Read all the posts above.
I feel you should just take some time and cool off a bit. But in the long run, I can't really see the Taurus and you having a stable relationship because you don't strike me as being emotionally stable yourself.
Until, both of you can stabilise, I don't see things going long term.
Otherwise, Taurus and Pisces have a pretty sweet relationship.
Have you been snooping around the Taurus forum for some time? Or just joined?
If I may ask, what about me seems emotionally unstable? I don't know how others see me, so it would be interesting to know so I can work on myself.
I'm no longer like I was before, and I have been very loving towards my Taurus since we got back together, I just get sad that he's sad/upset. I was going through a rough time in my life, but that part of my life has passed and I have learned from it and have grown from it.
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100I'm not sure if you read my other responses, but he knew about my depression and stress. I had to always remind him of what I was going through.Posted by piscespiscescancerThat's the problem with Pisces, they never look internally at what their faults are and how their actions affect others....Posted by NefertariThis is my first time on this site, I was looking up things about Taurus and stumbled upon it.
Read all the posts above.
I feel you should just take some time and cool off a bit. But in the long run, I can't really see the Taurus and you having a stable relationship because you don't strike me as being emotionally stable yourself.
Until, both of you can stabilise, I don't see things going long term.
Otherwise, Taurus and Pisces have a pretty sweet relationship.
Have you been snooping around the Taurus forum for some time? Or just joined?
If I may ask, what about me seems emotionally unstable? I don't know how others see me, so it would be interesting to know so I can work on myself.
I'm no longer like I was before, and I have been very loving towards my Taurus since we got back together, I just get sad that he's sad/upset. I was going through a rough time in my life, but that part of my life has passed and I have learned from it and have grown from it.
If you looked internally at your behaviour towards him when you were going through your "depression" / "stressed" stages of life, you would know that how you behaved was emotionally unstable... Ie telling your Taurus about your feelings towards your ex and hurting his feelings.. That's emotionally unstable and unnecessary.
What you should have done was communicated to your Taurus that you are emotionally unwell ie depressed or whatever so that he would be aware of your "cranky" behaviour, but Pisces people always expect others to try and work out what they are feeling or going through without any verbal indication....
People have to work around a Pisces persons emotions all the time.... When really a Pisces person needs to deal with their emotions in a more balanced and productive way.
Taurus is reactionary and we make a mental note of everything a person says or does that is in our circle and it helps us make s judgment call as to how close we can let that person be with us.... Your Taurus has emotionally frozen you out.. You have proved to be emotionally unstable too many times.
Just like the pisces new friend I have been slowly getting to know.... I have completely shut down and frozen her out now. She was a work colleague (I have known her for 6 months and we work together) and I grew close to her and we even went on holiday together and used to hang outside of work as friends regularly then I saw stuff that she would stir up and her behaviour and how she subtlely uses her emotions to manipulate people in doing what she wants without them knowing until after the damage is done and when I cornered her about it and took no responsibility for her actions. I "faded out" and now I have frozen her out. She has now been demoted as a work colleague who I am polite with and no longer a person I would call a friend....
I also had a Pisces female friend of 9 years. I terminated that friendship 11 years ago as I couldn't cope with her mood swings and her unstable emotions....
I don't think I like this sign at all, even though it's heavy in my own chart.... I can't deal with Pisces in the form of the ego ie the Sun... I won't deal with another one again....
If your Taurus thinks anything like I do, your relationship is already doomed....
Work on yourself and your emotions OP. Seek counselling for depression or stress don't take it out of on others.... Your Taurus deserves better...click to expand
I also stated that we had brought up exes and that's why I had told him about my feelings. I could have lied, but we were being open and honest with each other. He also told me about all of his exes.
I know how I am, and I know I'm a very emotional person. I don't try to be this way, I just feel everything amplified. I honestly hate this about myself and wish I could change it. I'm mostly very kind and nice to everyone I meet though, and try my hardest to treat people the way I would like to be treated.
I'm always trying to learn and grow, and I hate hurting people, because I know what it feels like. Which is why I ALWAYS apologized to him whenever I would get cranky or snappy, because it actually hurt me to hurt him.
Posted by piscespiscescancerit sounds like you got caught out with being inexperienced. i don't care what men say, they don't want to hear about our exes. they don't want to know about how we felt, what we did, how the sex was.
I also stated that we had brought up exes and that's why I had told him about my feelings. I could have lied, but we were being open and honest with each other. He also told me about all of his exes.
take that as a lesson. next time any (potential) mate ask you about your previous relationships, play them down and change the subject! let them talk about theirs if they must, but you keep it zipped. it's not fair but it is the reality.
as for this guy, i don't think he was put off by your depression. i think he was all in with you but what bulls prize possibly above everything else is loyalty and to know that things are set in rock. your talk made him doubt you and the certainty he had in you. can you get it back? i don't know. it's going to be tough.
i rocked my partner to his core very early on in our relationship. it took him a long time to let me back in again. he was never unpleasant to me but i knew i had lost his trust. i think it took us about 5 (6?) months to return to where we were.
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