In SHOCK about Taurus boyfriend's actions.

This topic was created in the Taurus forum by anonymousheart on Friday, March 21, 2014 and has 54 replies.
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I'd be really curious to hear what you guys think about this situation, 'from the mind of a Taurus' because it makes zero sense to me. And rather then continue in pissed off confusion, I'd like to at least understand what in the flying fxk he was thinking..
Some of you may have seen other previous flustered posts. Actually me (leo) and (taurus) boyfriend have been doing good. Until, now.
Essentially I've been having major troubles with my neighbors being unbelievably loud, threatening, and disrespectful. In the big city I live in nobody cares. The 'law' will not even respond to noise complaints. The landlords say there isn't much they can do. It was so bad one week I only got 3 hours of sleep. This seriously ruins me. I have looked for other apts, but I cannot afford to move anywhere else. I seem to have the lowest rent out of anyone I know.
Last night they were at it again. I called the landlord's phone @ 10 and it was off- he does this at night. Figured I would call him in the morning etc. (I've made at least 15 complaints with him)
So I spoke w. my boyfriend about it. We get off the phone. 30 min later I get a call from the landlord discussing the situation. Apparently, my boyfriend took it upon himself to look up the landlords information in his realty system and call him on his house phone at 2am. Oh, and he didn't tell me. He has asked to have his number before and I said no, you don't live here I will handle it. I'm not twelve I don't need daddy to call the big bad landlord for me. I'm an adult.
This upset me more than anything. He knowingly went behind my back, and potentially further jeopardized my living situation. I don't think anyone has the right to speak on my behalf. I'm absolutely livid. I was shaking when I got off the phone, and I didn't appreciate being blindsighted and called by the landlord. What in the hell was he thinking?!?!?!? Of course when I brought this up to him he was full of bs excuses. "i didnt tell you bc i didn't want to bother you..." bs. he KNOWS i wouldn't approve which is why he did it anyways. I'm a LEO. I'm not a fking damsel in distress. I feel like this was a very controlling immature move on his part. Thoughts?
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Has the landlord taken care of the situation?
Your man was trying to help you, instead of listening to you bitch and moan about it, he did something about it. I want your man, give him my profile please.
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Yup..
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So if you specifically told someone not to do something, and they went and did it anyways, that's ok? Errrr.....relationship trust, broken.
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Posted by LunarMaiden
Has the landlord taken care of the situation?
Your man was trying to help you, instead of listening to you bitch and moan about it, he did something about it. I want your man, give him my profile please.


You can have him. But I don't think it will go well, he usually shelves the fan club/harem.
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He still lives with mom, so he doesn't know the correct way to deal with landlords.
I'm not questioning his METHOD, more the way he went about it that was very deceptive. I think the details are being completely overlooked.
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More drama. Do you want a man in your life or a boy? Men take care of their women. Boys listen to their mommies..but they don't shag them.
I should think it would take more than a well intentioned phone call to shatter trust in a relationship..
Say. Would a Victorian fainting couch fit in your apartment?
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I think he should have atleast told or warned you what he was going to do. I understand on someone speaking on your behalf. It puts you in a weird spot because the landlord is not someone the boyfriend has to deal with, its you, and depending on how the conversation went...the tone etc, the landlord can take the frustration from the convo out on you. His intentions may have been good, but I completely understand your frustration. That's like you complaining about your boss, and your SO going to your job and telling them off. It puts you in a sticky spot.
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Posted by venusianbull
More drama. Do you want a man in your life or a boy? Men take care of their women. Boys listen to their mommies..but they don't shag them.
I should think it would take more than a well intentioned phone call to shatter trust in a relationship..
Say. Would a Victorian fainting couch fit in your apartment?



What she described isn't taking care of your woman, it's being hotheaded. If he wanted to make things better he should have worked on a plan with her that they executed together. I completely empathise with her.

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Posted by venusianbull
More drama. Do you want a man in your life or a boy? Men take care of their women. Boys listen to their mommies..but they don't shag them.
I should think it would take more than a well intentioned phone call to shatter trust in a relationship..
Say. Would a Victorian fainting couch fit in your apartment?



No I live in a tiny shitty apartment haha Winking
You guys don't 'get' it. I didn't ask for your judgement of me THANKS I asked for his perspective.
Never did like Taurus women. Too many hens in the henhouse.
I would appreciate the male perspective. Well intentioned or not.
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I have taurus ascendant,I think he pretty much just cares about you and was trying to help.. in your eyes he went about it in the wrong way, but to him he was just trying to make things better for you.. because he doesn't want you to be uncomfortable where you live.
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Bully for you. Empathize away.
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Posted by lnana04
I think he should have atleast told or warned you what he was going to do. I understand on someone speaking on your behalf. It puts you in a weird spot because the landlord is not someone the boyfriend has to deal with, its you, and depending on how the conversation went...the tone etc, the landlord can take the frustration from the convo out on you. His intentions may have been good, but I completely understand your frustration. That's like you complaining about your boss, and your SO going to your job and telling them off. It puts you in a sticky spot.



That's exactly it. The feeling of having the rug pulled out from under me. The reason he did that is because we have discussed it and I told him it's not his place to take actions, it's mine. I speak to him out of friendship, or seeking council. Not because I need a puppetmaster.
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I do think he should have spoken with you about it first though
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Posted by karialexcia
I have taurus ascendant,I think he pretty much just cares about you and was trying to help.. in your eyes he went about it in the wrong way, but to him he was just trying to make things better for you.. because he doesn't want you to be uncomfortable where you live.


I'm aware of this, and I 100 percent agree. It still doesn't change the facts. I'm not the person that looks at intentions, I look at actions. A good willed person or a bad willed person doing the same action has the same outcome.
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Posted by LunarMaiden
Has the landlord taken care of the situation?
Your man was trying to help you, instead of listening to you bitch and moan about it, he did something about it. I want your man, give him my profile please.


No sht! Anonymous, this is what a Taurus man will do for you...to HELP you. It's in their nature, do you not see the positive in it?
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Posted by anonymousheart
Posted by venusianbull
More drama. Do you want a man in your life or a boy? Men take care of their women. Boys listen to their mommies..but they don't shag them.
I should think it would take more than a well intentioned phone call to shatter trust in a relationship..
Say. Would a Victorian fainting couch fit in your apartment?



No I live in a tiny shitty apartment haha Winking
You guys don't 'get' it. I didn't ask for your judgement of me THANKS I asked for his perspective.
Never did like Taurus women. Too many hens in the henhouse.
I would appreciate the male perspective. Well intentioned or not.

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Of course you ask for judgement. You're here.
You don't have to like me either. Doesn't affect my life a bit.
If you wanted his perspective, ask him. But you're here typing so.
I have several Leo sisters however and it sounds like roughly the same thing. All wound up over such inconsequential things.
If your landlord/ tenant situ is precarious it's the 10 plus calls from yourself. Not his one.
If people are disturbing the peace call the police.
You're bent cos he disobeyed your edict. Big deal.
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Posted by anonymousheart
Posted by karialexcia
I have taurus ascendant,I think he pretty much just cares about you and was trying to help.. in your eyes he went about it in the wrong way, but to him he was just trying to make things better for you.. because he doesn't want you to be uncomfortable where you live.


I'm aware of this, and I 100 percent agree. It still doesn't change the facts. I'm not the person that looks at intentions, I look at actions. A good willed person or a bad willed person doing the same action has the same outcome.
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I understand completely. sometimes I act on impulse without thinking things through. I think you guys should talk it out.
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Posted by venusianbull
More drama. Do you want a man in your life or a boy? Men take care of their women. Boys listen to their mommies..but they don't shag them.
I should think it would take more than a well intentioned phone call to shatter trust in a relationship..
Say. Would a Victorian fainting couch fit in your apartment?



+1
You really don't seem to understand your man at all. If you don't like this type of behaviour then the last man you should be with is a Taurus.
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Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
I feel totally cheated by the title of this thread.
"In SHOCK about Taurus boyfriend's actions."
I thought I was going to be entertained by some enquirer level juicy gossip.
....and all I got was this?



+1000 @OP do you respect your bull? The way you talk about him, it doesn't sound as if you respect him as a man...
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Like I keep saying in every one of your threads...you won't see it because you have me on block but I just like pointing it again and again: Big Grin
You are a pile of insecurities and this won't fly with any man, Taurus or not.
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It's nice because people actually really try to help you.
Awaiting the "BIG DUMB IDIOTS WHO NEVER CATER TO MY INSECURITIES" topic.
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@anonheart: he wants to look after you and you have a problem with that? a MAN takes care of his woman, a BOY follows mommy's orders. Do you not know the difference?!?!
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Posted by anonymousheart
I'm a LEO. I'm not a fking damsel in distress.


If you are a LEO, better learn how to handle your shit. I've never seen a LEO who didn't know what to do in a real life situation.
But of course drama queens be dramaing all the time.
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This is a problem with men and women.
Women call men to whine and talk about it. Men do not do whining and girly talk and get straight to business. It is in their nature to take action.
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Haha.. Yup, still working on that whole..
'Yes, dear.. There there dear. It will be all ok baby'
Instead if hearing that your s/o has a problem. Then offering a solution/fixing it..
Not really in my nature to just pat the one I care about on the back and make empty promises that everything will all be ok.. We are men of action..
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LOL@Never did like Taurus women. Too many hens in the henhouse.
Oh boy!
Anon men are men. You don't want a man to have your back, take care of you and your situation that you're complaining about then keep your mouth shut about it.
When a man loves a woman he is going to do what he did.
Even when you tell a man don't do that for me, I'll take care of it, he'll still do something about it if he's in love with you.
No man (not a real man) is going to sit back and watch the woman he loves suffer, men are fixers and nurturers and lovers and so and so forth, men can't stand watching the woman they love in pain.
If you have issues with your apartment, either get on good terms with your landlord, maybe look into getting advice from a lawyer or get a new apartment and a second job to pay for it and if you can't do any of that then shut the hell up complaining about something you cannot control.
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If I see my girl in a hardship. You bet your ass I'll be trying to do something to make it better. I can understand that he should have said something to you. But, I kinda have a feeling this isn't the first time that you've talk to him about it.
Maybe you would be better off with a Pisces. They love to talk about problems.. Sure they'd love to 'Dr. Phil' you through your busted kitchen sink... Lol
*small jab at Pisces Winking
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Posted by duchessedenemours
If the worst thing he has done is gone behind your back to solve a problem that is causing you stress... I honestly don't see why you are complaining.
I doubt his intentions were to make you into a child. Probably got tired of listening to you talk about it and you being miserable so he wanted it end.
Either way pick your battles! It's not like him calling once is going to jepeordize your situation anymore than 15 calls would.


That's an interesting perspective. But I feel like if he would ever act on my behalf, there's no telling what he would do. And I guess the deeper problem is that I don't true him to handle these matters.
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I am a Taurus female and my boyfriend is a Leo, and I honestly think you are not looking at this in the right way. If you were complaining to him about the situation constantly he probably just took the initiative to call and fix it himself because he saw that what you were doing was not working. In my opinion as a Taurus I don't think this is something to get too worked up about. If you're landlord is not concerned about the loud noise in his apartment/duplex what ever than he probably isn't too bothered that your boyfriend called him about the issue at an inconvenient time. My boyfriend who is a Leo gets so worked up about the silliest things some times, and I feel like in this situation you're getting worked up for nothing. Good luck with the noise problems, I bet that is beyond annoying.
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Posted by tiki33
LOL@Never did like Taurus women. Too many hens in the henhouse.
Oh boy!
Anon men are men. You don't want a man to have your back, take care of you and your situation that you're complaining about then keep your mouth shut about it.
When a man loves a woman he is going to do what he did.
Even when you tell a man don't do that for me, I'll take care of it, he'll still do something about it if he's in love with you.
No man (not a real man) is going to sit back and watch the woman he loves suffer, men are fixers and nurturers and lovers and so and so forth, men can't stand watching the woman they love in pain.
If you have issues with your apartment, either get on good terms with your landlord, maybe look into getting advice from a lawyer or get a new apartment and a second job to pay for it and if you can't do any of that then shut the hell up complaining about something you cannot control.


I think you're right. I wanted an ear to listen, and him, being a man, wanted to 'fix it'.
I guess I need to leave the apt, the state, the job, and maybe..the guy too.
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Posted by xxbrittxxtay
I am a Taurus female and my boyfriend is a Leo, and I honestly think you are not looking at this in the right way. If you were complaining to him about the situation constantly he probably just took the initiative to call and fix it himself because he saw that what you were doing was not working. In my opinion as a Taurus I don't think this is something to get too worked up about. If you're landlord is not concerned about the loud noise in his apartment/duplex what ever than he probably isn't too bothered that your boyfriend called him about the issue at an inconvenient time. My boyfriend who is a Leo gets so worked up about the silliest things some times, and I feel like in this situation you're getting worked up for nothing. Good luck with the noise problems, I bet that is beyond annoying.


Yea. I agree. We see things really differently, but it's really hard to make good judgements on 3 hours sleep. I didn't even get the chance to eat lunch because I've been in meetings all day. I'm in really bad shape for thinking.
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Posted by TaurGuy
If I see my girl in a hardship. You bet your ass I'll be trying to do something to make it better. I can understand that he should have said something to you. But, I kinda have a feeling this isn't the first time that you've talk to him about it.
Maybe you would be better off with a Pisces. They love to talk about problems.. Sure they'd love to 'Dr. Phil' you through your busted kitchen sink... Lol
*small jab at Pisces Winking


Your feeling is correct....
Idk why he seeks me out. I think he needs to select of his fan club to dominate.
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Posted by TaurGuy
Haha.. Yup, still working on that whole..
'Yes, dear.. There there dear. It will be all ok baby'
Instead if hearing that your s/o has a problem. Then offering a solution/fixing it..
Not really in my nature to just pat the one I care about on the back and make empty promises that everything will all be ok.. We are men of action..


I understand and that's ok..but not to even run it by me, or let me know: hey i called your landlord...come on.
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anon - I love all Leos by default. I keep telling you though. This one is not gonna work. You two are gonna bring out the worst in each other. Don't get married to this man. Your kids will have PTSD.
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How did he get the phone number?
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Lol. You may be right TLS!

And PVJellyfish, I agree with you.
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Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
I feel totally cheated by the title of this thread.
"In SHOCK about Taurus boyfriend's actions."
I thought I was going to be entertained by some enquirer level juicy gossip.
....and all I got was this?



And this is why I work in marketing..gotcha
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Posted by CreativeCap
How did he get the phone number?


Ah, a fellow detective.
I had to ask him this questions 3xs before I received an answer.
He said he went online and searched who signed off on the building's work permits through the .gov.
The bad thing is he got the landlord's home number and most likely woke his whole family up. I actually feel bad about that. I have a good landlord. He's passive, but caring and always tends to the apartment. Which is very hard to find in NY. Most here are slumlords unless you are rich then you can live in a tiny apt in the middle of the city.
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Posted by anonymousheart
Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
I feel totally cheated by the title of this thread.
"In SHOCK about Taurus boyfriend's actions."
I thought I was going to be entertained by some enquirer level juicy gossip.
....and all I got was this?



And this is why I work in marketing..gotcha
click to expand


DUDE! You know she is so right too. I was thinking he had slept with the fat girl that stalks him on FB or something. You knew you were gonna be gored by the bulls over this....lol.
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YUP. C'est la vie.
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anonymousheart....
So there.
Problem solved.
There are plenty of men who do not mind being emasculated.
Your run this town!
(You're no damsel in distress...but you're no BOSS b*tch either)
(Bulls are fixers. Not whiners.)
It's not a power struggle with them, it's about finding a solution and creating peace within their environment.
If he were in your situation, he would have found a solution (without all the drama).

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Posted by scorchedearth
mean much, virgo?


honest much.
I'd be mean if she saw it but it's impossible to see truth when a huge spotlight of ego is in your eyes.
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Posted by TaurGuy
Haha.. Yup, still working on that whole..
'Yes, dear.. There there dear. It will be all ok baby'
Instead if hearing that your s/o has a problem. Then offering a solution/fixing it..
Not really in my nature to just pat the one I care about on the back and make empty promises that everything will all be ok.. We are men of action..


I know hon. I have a lot of male friends and this gets brought up a lot.
I always tell them to nod and think of something else. You need to master this shit because boy do they get pissed when you try doing smthg.
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Posted by anonymousheart

The bad thing is he got the landlord's home number and most likely woke his whole family up. I actually feel bad about that. I have a good landlord. He's passive, but caring and always tends to the apartment. Which is very hard to find in NY. Most here are slumlords unless you are rich then you can live in a tiny apt in the middle of the city.


Not true.
You haven't resided in NYC for too long, have you?
You chose the neighborhood.
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It is pretty easy..want to bitch and whine..call your gfs.
Want action? Call your man.
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I ask my Bull about this situation and here's what he said:
-If you call me and told me you're suffering or unhappy... and it's well within my power to do something... I will. I won't have time to think if it might have hurt you or it was disrespectful... because it wasn't my intention to begin with. You didn't like what I did? It's done! Now, you can either come and talk to me and I'll seriously think about it...or come screaming at me and I won't understand what happened.
I could somehow understand why you didn't like what he did? but losing trust over this??? That's a little teenager don't you think? You said you talked about this to the landlord sooo many time and nothing was fixed...And your Bull obviously love you enough to do something about it right away... He might or might not have been aware that will get you mad at him...but you getting some quality sleep is more important to him than anything else... it's really not that complicated. Focus on that and give him some sexy time to reward him instead of a cold shoulder... he'll love you even more smile
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Posted by TaurusBull1977
Posted by anonymousheart

The bad thing is he got the landlord's home number and most likely woke his whole family up. I actually feel bad about that. I have a good landlord. He's passive, but caring and always tends to the apartment. Which is very hard to find in NY. Most here are slumlords unless you are rich then you can live in a tiny apt in the middle of the city.


Not true.
You haven't resided in NYC for too long, have you?
You chose the neighborhood.
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HAHHAHAHA right.... 7 years isn't long to you.
You don't live here, obviously. Major issues in legislation/ rent laws. But that is not my freaking problem I'm moving this summer anyways.
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After some sleep both of us see everything differently.
He agreed not consulting me was a poor move.
I agree my reaction was poor but under the circumstances, I could'nt offer better.
He did get the landlord to jump through hoops though and seeing that was pretty funny.
We have come to an understanding.
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what a Leo/Taurus marriage becomes:
< width="560" height="315" ="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIGPvPRzEaQ"
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