Is it worth it—

Hi there long time lurker here hoping to get some advice from you fellow bulls. (I'll try to be brief)
I've been falling for a taurus man for about a year and a half now. We very obviously love each other but we are not in a relationship as he's going through a very difficult time in his life right now. Short story he's basically lost everything when his business went south during the recession and he's got full on tunnel vision trying to rebuild his life. As he tells me he's just not happy right now and can't focus on a relationship until he gets his life together. About 2 months ago I cut off all contact with him as I couldn't take acting like we're in a relationship when we're really not. I have trust issues and like most taurus men he is EXTREMELY charismatic and has a harem of women just itching to be "the one" (honestly I just couldn't take knowing that I am just harem member #?) Anyway for the past month he's been out of town handling family issues and since he hasn't been able to work while out of town he's been going EXTRA HARD trying to get us back to what we were. Every other call or text is "I love you, I miss you, I'm yours or some sort of poetry. It's driving me crazy because I am clearly in love with him but I know he's not ready for a relationship. So he come back to town last week and has an immediate job so naturally in true taurus form he goes all in on his work to the exclusion of everything and I stop hearing from him as often. We finally get together for breakfast and I flat out ask him what he wants from me. He replies I want you...pauses for a long time sighs and says to be my friend. I AM CRUSHED! after all that talk he still hits me with the friendzone. The crazy thing is I KNOW he wanted to just say that he wanted me and for the life of me I can't figure out why he chickened out and threw out the friend thing. So I told him that he will always be my friend and that I will always love him but what he's doing is hurting me and that I need for him to leave me alone for awhile so that I could get past my romantic feelings for him and just be his friend with no ulterior motives. He flat out refused to leave me alone. Once again telling me how much he loves me, how we'll be together forever and on and on. He literally tied us together and refused to let me leave. At the end he told me that he clams up when I talk about him and other women because if I would just look around I'd see that no other women are around and that being togethe

Pt2: I talk about him and other women because if I would just look around I'd see that no other women are around and that being together means we're together why can't we just be together.
As we we were standing outside and I was trying to convince him to leave me alone for awhile. After a long pause he told me a story about his uncle who passed away and how this uncle told him a metaphor that I can't quite remember but what he took from that is that in life he will really love and want someone and that person may not be able to wait and be patient for him and despite how much that might hurt he just has to let things go the way they will. He then turned to me and said you and I have history that even I can't comprehend. It's like we met each other and we were both suddenly infants. That's not something that goes away ever but if you choose to leave before I get to THAT point I can't stop you. After chewing on the thought I told him that's a bunch of crap! You have to work for this you can't just shrug your shoulders and say well she chose not to stay what could I do? I told him you work to maintain your career, you work to maintain your relationship with your family and you have to work for this to work too! He paused for a really long time, chuckled and said you know I never thought about it like that. I said I understand you haven't made it to that point yet and I started to say that I just need time to accept that you don't have feelings for me and he cut me off and said I never said that or you don't know that...It was all a blur by that point. So we parted ways and I've been devastated ever since. I broke down and sent him a text asking to spend one more (sex free; we stopped having sex months ago) evening with him before we ended it for good. He replied and said that I could have many many more of his days and nights. So we made a plan to hang out this weekend.

So here is my dilemma. I LOVE this man. But more than that he's my best friend. I'm not sure I can stand us not being friends anymore but I'm also not sure I can stand being relegated to the friendzone/harem/whatever. I'm terrified that if i remain friends with him I'll never really get over him and one day he'll meet "THE ONE" and I'll be sitting there all in love and devastated. I don't want to go into being his friend secretly hoping that one day we'll be together but if I'm being honest I know that there will always be some small part of me thats hoping for that at least until I mov

Pt3: I move on. I guess my question to the bulls is what are my chances here? Do you think this is just a he's just not that into you sort of thing (I know bulls have a habit of saying these sort of things but not meaning them as more than polite pleasantries) or is there more that's worth fighting for? Do you bulls typically know when you want someone or do relationships start from friendships like these? Is it better to at least stay in touch as friends or should I cut all contact and hope that if it's meant to be he'll come find me when he gets his life together? And with this last question any opinions will do: If I just give up on the whole romantic notion of "us" is it a complete mistake trying to maintain the friendship while trying to get over my romantic feelings for him. At the end of the day whether we end up together or not I love him to death as my friend and I really don't want to lose that. Any advice would be appreciated...

Ive seen how a Taurus will tell one girl its not the right time due to a, b, c and straight bouce jumping ALL in when "the one" comes along. The job, the money, time etc...nothing changed, yet he made time for the one he was waiting for.

Trust your gut. You called it bs because thats exactly what it is.

Btw, not trying to sound too harsh. He could genuinely have feelings for you, yet be partly unsure about the two of you together, making him more fearful than anything. Who knows...just be careful because the situation could still very well play out how you vision. Again, ive seen it happen.

Wow these replies are super depressing. Truth hurts I guess. At the end of the day I'd be crushed if I stuck around as his friend only to have him show up one day all madly in love with some new girl. Much as I hate to lose his friendship right now I guess I really am in no condition to have him as a friend right now. Ugh this sucks!!!!! I would prefer he just said hey I will NEVER want more than friendship rather than telling me all this other stuff knowing how I feel about him. I guess that would make this a perfect world

@sunnyvirgo83 that story is absolutely awful. I am so sorry that happened to you.

@Impulsv so did you cut all contact with your guy or are you still maintaining the friendship? Is he still bothering you or were you able to get him to leave you alone? I agree and I am going to take the time to get him out of my system and just let go of the romantic notion of him and I together. It just sucks to lose a friend and lover all in once. In the one hand I understand where he's coming from in that if my life was where his is right now I wouldn't enter a relationship either no matter how I felt for the person. But at the end of the day I still have to protect myself first. I just wish I was strong enough to maintain the friendship. Sometimes I wish romantic feelings never got involved so we could at least remain friends...

I was recently told I'm in the friend zone and that he is not able to give me the whole9 yards. I have decided to let go even though he says we are friends.... I'll pass. I will not be friends with a man I'm in love with and not be in relationship with him. I will not stand by and watch a man I'm in love with fall in love and marry off to someone else!!!! Oh the pain...lol! It's a cruel world dealing with a taurus and to be honest I wish it could be so cold when someone comes into a relationship with me with less than serious intentions.

Posted by lnana04
Ive seen how a Taurus will tell one girl its not the right time due to a, b, c and straight bouce jumping ALL in when "the one" comes along. The job, the money, time etc...nothing changed, yet he made time for the one he was waiting for.

Trust your gut. You called it bs because thats exactly what it is.

How did it work out for these Taurus men?

Posted by lnana04
Ive seen how a Taurus will tell one girl its not the right time due to a, b, c and straight bouce jumping ALL in when "the one" comes along. The job, the money, time etc...nothing changed, yet he made time for the one he was waiting for.

Trust your gut. You called it bs because thats exactly what it is.

I have an experienced in both... 1 a Taurus that make all the excuses on this earth that we can not be together because a ,y and z... Yet I believed him... 2 another Taurus who believes I am the one and so far he has been doing everything and anything for me. Life long future plans and does not want me to lift a finger for anything... it's cruel really when you experience no.1... I am lucky i get to experience no.2.... if he genuinely think he wants you as part of his life when he pulls his stuff together... He will make it work...... He is undecided... cut all your losses... If it's meant to be it will be.." If it's meant to be you don't have to sacrifice your dignity for your destiny" .. Stay strong... Cut off all contacts if possible.... I'm so sorry this happened....