cancersweetheart
@cancersweetheart
12 YearsCancer
Comments: 0 · Posts: 62 · Topics: 2
Is taurus just screwing with me?
Yeah what Busy said. Beat me to it.
Because you guys are fwb you guys fuck whenever you want and have sex whenever whomever hits you up first. It's like I'll contact you, don't call me I'll call you type. Hell to the no.
I am way too possessive and I hate sharing. But since you did a fwb contract, why would I want you except for sex, hang out in public, as soon as he withholds sex he might be getting serious about what he wants and needs. It wouldn't be you.
I think I am thinking like a man here. Hopefully some other males come and give you advice too.
For a woman who is just learning about fwb, don't do it you are an emotional type. And one will catch feelings. This isn't for you. Some people do it. But as soon as one person actually falls in love with someone else not you. You no longer are apart of them and become a swcret sidechick. Because we don't want drama and already told you fwb contract. So we drop fwb for the right one anytime.
For a woman who is just learning about fwb, don't do it you are an emotional type. And one will catch feelings. This isn't for you. Some people do it. But as soon as one person actually falls in love with someone else not you. You no longer are apart of them and become a swcret sidechick. Because we don't want drama and already told you fwb contract. So we drop fwb for the right one anytime.
I get what you're saying but it wasn't kike we were just having sex. Initially he said he hopes we're exclusive because he wasnt planning on seeing anyone else. We hung out all the time he took me for dinner and a movie on Valentine's day. We've been hiking and picnicing. He hangs out with my friends and i with his. Hes always concerned about what I'm thinking if i'm too quiet. Always with the questions. Why all that if i was just sex.
Also whenever we talked about the sex stuff he'd always say "is that why we spend time together?", "are you saying we cant be friends without the sex?" "i feel like you just come over to hook up with me sometimes".
Like what?? Isnt that what we were? Fwb? Then i get feels and he says he doesnt know why hes been feeling weird and why he doesn't feel the urgency anymore. But still wants me around?
I have no idea what to think. I was super platonic last night but he tries keeping me up and playing around in bed. I dont know
Like what?? Isnt that what we were? Fwb? Then i get feels and he says he doesnt know why hes been feeling weird and why he doesn't feel the urgency anymore. But still wants me around?
I have no idea what to think. I was super platonic last night but he tries keeping me up and playing around in bed. I dont know
@incorrigble no i haven't. If anything, i think I've been too easy going and considerate. I cook for him. He cooks for me. Its always been really smooth until he started pulling away
Whatever do your own thing. I am 12 years older than the both of you and Busy is 7 years older than I. Talk about experience. Huh. Whatever do your thing.
@firstdecan i sincerely appreciate your advice. I'm just trying to understand because now i care about him. And i must've let my mind get ahead of what was actually happening. So truthfully in your opinion, he just saw me as sex? And now that he doesnt see me as sex. He just wants friendship?
yes all that - maybe he's pulled back because he has feelings but isn't sure where this is all going ? if he thinks you are texting another guy while watching a movie he might have some jealousy going on so just relax and go with it - whatever he wants and show him you are devoted to him but still have a life but don't talk to other men if he is what you want ... once he is sure of you things will get better but also remember that some Taurus need space in between all that "togetherness" ...
Yes we were fwbfwb but it was exclusive. We said if we were seeing each other we wouldnt see other people. Because i dont a gree with that multiple sexual partners things and he said he felt the same
Also I'm graduating soon and i could possibly be moving abroad. I dont know if that influences the way he's been acting.
Nothing is in stone yet.
So it was always him who decided whether you have sex or not?
Put your foot down and declare what you want in this relationship!
You're too dependant on him and his moods, decisions.
Put your foot down and declare what you want in this relationship!
You're too dependant on him and his moods, decisions.
Wow I never heard that term before , but speaking as a male, this contract/agreement is kind of null and void, if i had sex with you & the phone rang and another women wanted me to come over to have sex with her, why would you feel bad, have the goal post changed,am I suppose to take the dog for a walk. You rented out an escort basically , the payment is kindness & sex & bit of random chit chat, this is only an example, but its bit like a man asking a regular lady of the night to be his girlfriend,because she stays until the morning and you cook her breakfast.
If you get emotional attach to people, and this is a normal feeling, because it feels right, you really can't complain... and even if you stop to have a "normal relationship" in the back of your mind.. you would be looking for tell tell signs of infidelity.
If you get emotional attach to people, and this is a normal feeling, because it feels right, you really can't complain... and even if you stop to have a "normal relationship" in the back of your mind.. you would be looking for tell tell signs of infidelity.
We agreed to only have sex with each other. Exclusively
@ taurus marine i suppose you're right. I've become too submissive because i didnt want to rock the boat. But i do need to take a stand and stick to it.
I'm a Pisces but I have a lot of experience with Cancers and you, dear, are being too damn Cancer 🙂
I once tried FWB - What I wanted... He wanted me to be his girlfriend and I got pissed. Like people have stated - He was changing the terms of the contract. He was messing with a good thing. I tried FWB bc I did not want the full package of a relationship. Even if FWB feels like a relationship there are certain aspects that are held at bay until the details are discussed. If someone isn't emotionally ready for that - then they withdraw. Which is what I did. I had told him what I wanted, he disrespected my wishes by trying to change the terms and I swam away.
As a fellow water sign I can relate to the emotional strain you are feeling. Makes me grateful for my fire and earth placements - I have a gift for detaching from non-beneficial situations/people. I also love to cook and care for people (men), buy little things I know they like, etc.... I can relate to how you're feeling.
If some man told me he wasn't feeling me like he was - after sex no less - I would have slapped his stupid-ass face and that would've been the end of it. Shit I would've started walking home, called my mom (I'm 28 too haha) and she would've picked me up. But that's my Leo Asc temper talking hahaha.
I don't play those silly give and take games. I know it's tough for Cancers to walk away (I dated a cancer for 5+ years)... But I think you should find someone new to talk to, to distract yourself - and remove yourself from his life. Unless ya'll are in a committed relationship, never give up the booty again, don't even cook for him. If you do then you're a dumbass and shouldn't be on here crying about your dumb choices 🙂 I know you're a real sweetheart, Cancers always are!
I once tried FWB - What I wanted... He wanted me to be his girlfriend and I got pissed. Like people have stated - He was changing the terms of the contract. He was messing with a good thing. I tried FWB bc I did not want the full package of a relationship. Even if FWB feels like a relationship there are certain aspects that are held at bay until the details are discussed. If someone isn't emotionally ready for that - then they withdraw. Which is what I did. I had told him what I wanted, he disrespected my wishes by trying to change the terms and I swam away.
As a fellow water sign I can relate to the emotional strain you are feeling. Makes me grateful for my fire and earth placements - I have a gift for detaching from non-beneficial situations/people. I also love to cook and care for people (men), buy little things I know they like, etc.... I can relate to how you're feeling.
If some man told me he wasn't feeling me like he was - after sex no less - I would have slapped his stupid-ass face and that would've been the end of it. Shit I would've started walking home, called my mom (I'm 28 too haha) and she would've picked me up. But that's my Leo Asc temper talking hahaha.
I don't play those silly give and take games. I know it's tough for Cancers to walk away (I dated a cancer for 5+ years)... But I think you should find someone new to talk to, to distract yourself - and remove yourself from his life. Unless ya'll are in a committed relationship, never give up the booty again, don't even cook for him. If you do then you're a dumbass and shouldn't be on here crying about your dumb choices 🙂 I know you're a real sweetheart, Cancers always are!
Thank you for everyone's valuable input. Its gotten to that stage where he feels he can ignore my messages and reply when he feels like it. I feel like i dont matter much to him anymore. I've decided to cut my losses, set my boundaries and keep it platonic.
Amen to @Op-Once-in-a-lifetime gain knowledge and experience right here on dxp. Haha.
Ah i feel so weird with how things are with us now. He takes forever to reply, times when he texts just to respond. Then when i dont text him he starts trying to have a conversation or will send me some random picture. I said its like we chat like acquaintances now. The next day he sends me pictures of what he should wear for his cousins wedding, asking about my day and being all eager to talk. Its like constat hot and cold now.
Posted by busyeyes88This is very accurate. Bulls are fixed, stubborn and they move linear.
It was only an fwb!! So I suggest you become platonic friends or move on and find another fwb! Taurus is fixed. Your "contract" won't change!
Don't be fooled with any liberal declarations of freedom and sex.
Deep inside lies a man with a very conventional nature.
His eyes and ears are always open.
We doubt what you tell us...but believe what you show us.
And what you displayed was a free-spirited sexual encounter with a woman he will never marry.
Not judging you...
A woman embracing her sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of.
However, when you're not emotionally prepared to deal with the repurcussions behind it, this is when you're FU&KED!
Posted by cancersweetheartYour FWB is coming to an expiration. The Taurus hasn't found someone more exciting. Just another woman he sees a potential future with.
S So i suggested we end things again and he agreed saying he doesnt know why he's been feeling different and that he didnt feel the urgency to text or talk to me like he did before. But still wanted us to spend time togeteher.click to expand
This may be his assessment period of her. Moving cautiously,...feeling her out...but still enjoying the sex benefits with you.
He's still an earth sign.
He will want to marry and have children with the woman of his dreams someday.
Even the hedonistic contracts have an expiration date.
Posted by SensitiveBluesWho told you Taurus men love Cancer women more than they love them?Posted by cancersweetheartwell if he's ignoring you it's a wrap
Thank you for everyone's valuable input. Its gotten to that stage where he feels he can ignore my messages and reply when he feels like it. I feel like i dont matter much to him anymore. I've decided to cut my losses, set my boundaries and keep it platonic.
but taurus men love cancer women more then we love them
so i say you still have a chance for later re-ignition
taurus and cap men bore me to death
god bless their heartsclick to expand
She isn't the first Cancer woman to vent on this board, and she will not be the last.
Name the last few Taurus men who were crying and complaining on the Cancer boards about the women?
If you can list the last three... I SHALL EAT MY WORDS!
LMAO!
FYI...
You may want to advise her not to hold her breath about that re-ignition...
Nothing moves a Bull...but a Bull.
So because i had a fwb arrangement with him he'll never see me as anything more than that? Even though we got so close after 7 months together?
Skank Logic... Brought to you by DXP.
Skank? He was my first fwb and we were exclusive.
Posted by cancersweetheartWho introduced the prospect of a FWB, initially?
So because i had a fwb arrangement with him he'll never see me as anything more than that? Even though we got so close after 7 months together?
Was it you...or the Taurus?
This is an important question.
Because most Bulls are 'fixed' signs...and your actions speak louder than what you tell us initially.
FYI-
...You're NOT a skank.
You shouldn't have to defend yourself.
He inititally suggested it because he said he doesnt do well in relationships. For a not relationship it felt like ot functioned like one.
Posted by cancersweetheartAre you prone to get emotionally attached quickly.
He inititally suggested it because he said he doesnt do well in relationships. For a not relationship it felt like ot functioned like one.
Not making an overall cliche about all Cancers, but I'm sure you know yourself better than we do.
No not really. I got attvhed after about 5 months. Then i realised i really started liking him.
Here is what I see...
A female who is actually quite reserved and selective about the men that she sleeps with.
But yet, she agrees to a FWB.
Your actions contradict who you really are.
What prompted you to enter this contract?
A female who is actually quite reserved and selective about the men that she sleeps with.
But yet, she agrees to a FWB.
Your actions contradict who you really are.
What prompted you to enter this contract?
I was hurt in the past and i wanted to teach myself to disconnect. I didnt know it would carry on for 7 months
Posted by cancersweetheartBulls have a sixth sense.
I was hurt in the past and i wanted to teach myself to disconnect. I didnt know it would carry on for 7 months
We can sense a conventional person with our eyes closed.
Here is what else I see...
1. A woman (if she wasn't hurt) who would have made an amazing wife to this Bull.
2. An amazing mother to his children.
3. A loyal and generous individual who would have never taken him for granted.
What I presented to you initially,
Is the characteristic traits of most Bulls.
He sees two faces. He just doesn't know which one to take at face value.
And because he's stubborn by nature, he will not go against the agreed contract.
Or dig deeper into any emotional shaded gray areas....to investigate. A Scorp will, but a Bull will not.
It's black or white with Bulls. All or nothing!
So basically he will always see me as the girl he was fwb with. Nothing more. Got it.
Posted by busyeyes88This is very accurate!
We look for integrity in people and of high value. We are traditional in manner even if we have sexual open minds that will be only for the solid sole partner ie gf wife etc.
As TB77 said taurus has a sixth sense. We study people all the time. We already know a person's move before they do hence we are never surprised or blindsided by the actions of another...
@ Cancersweetheart...
While you were seeking an emotional connection/reciprocation,
The Bull was looking for good morals, integrity, class...a lady.
Funny thing is...you actually possessed all those qualities.
You just didn't show it!
Posted by cancersweetheartTry not to be jaded from this experience.
So basically he will always see me as the girl he was fwb with. Nothing more. Got it.
Try yo learn from it instead.
If you have been hurt, give yourself time to heal and learn from the experience.
Don't allow yourself to enter a contract that contradicts who you are.
You miss out on many amazing opportunities when you do this.
Good Luck to you Cancer...
All the best 🙂
Correction...
*yo= to *
*yo= to *
Thank you TB77 i appreciate how you've explained things and thank you for the valuable advice. I guess i just have to let him go. I know now that i may not have shown him my qualities. But Like you said once a bull has made up his mind...
I told him this. "The friends with benefits thing is definitely not for me. I've been wondering if you ever really saw me as a 'friend' and the truth is that if you didn't, its not your fault. We were having sex with the agreement that thats all it was. Then when you lost interest in me , you also lost the need to connect with me or talk to me on a friendship level. I thought you'd see me for who i am and not just the friends with benefits nonsense. Its really been feeling like we're forcing this friendship and as if you keep me around just for the sake of it. I think you're incredible and you're the first person I havent wanted to change anything about. But the circumstances have given you a false image of me.
I'm not a second place kind of girl or friend. And the environment i created made me seem that way. I don't want the friends with benefits thing with you or anyone else and I don't want forced or half-wanted friendships. I don't know what the future has in store for me but i dont want people around me who think or see me as any less than the woman i know that i am.
We're not friends woth benefits anymore. If you want to be my friend then be my friend. Theres a drastic difference between the way you used to act before and how you act now. And if we were truly friends and open with each other these pasy 7 months. The way you act and treat me shouldnt have changed at all.
And if not then thats okay too. I'm. A big girl, I'll be fine. I care about you but i don't want this half baked friend that I've been getting."
Hid response was. " I thought we moved past this stage. Yeah it changed because i am comfortable now"
Frankly i think he's bsing me. So i decide not to respond and I'm just going to move along my merry way.
I'm not a second place kind of girl or friend. And the environment i created made me seem that way. I don't want the friends with benefits thing with you or anyone else and I don't want forced or half-wanted friendships. I don't know what the future has in store for me but i dont want people around me who think or see me as any less than the woman i know that i am.
We're not friends woth benefits anymore. If you want to be my friend then be my friend. Theres a drastic difference between the way you used to act before and how you act now. And if we were truly friends and open with each other these pasy 7 months. The way you act and treat me shouldnt have changed at all.
And if not then thats okay too. I'm. A big girl, I'll be fine. I care about you but i don't want this half baked friend that I've been getting."
Hid response was. " I thought we moved past this stage. Yeah it changed because i am comfortable now"
Frankly i think he's bsing me. So i decide not to respond and I'm just going to move along my merry way.
I do. I'm just going to go about my business. I felt my message to him explicitly articulated that I'm tired of this hot/cold, friends/acquaintances action. Thats the thing hey I'm not the clingy type. He used to do all the calling all the setting up dates. He always said how calm and easy going things felt when he was with me.
Ah you know i never really got how i was feeling off my chest and now that i have, let the cards fall where they may. Friendship, relationship or nothing. I've said my piece to him.
You guys are all so supportive and forthcoming with your advice. It is appreciated.
Ah you know i never really got how i was feeling off my chest and now that i have, let the cards fall where they may. Friendship, relationship or nothing. I've said my piece to him.
You guys are all so supportive and forthcoming with your advice. It is appreciated.
Posted by cancersweethearti'm glad you feel resolved and at peace with your decision.
I do. I'm just going to go about my business. I felt my message to him explicitly articulated that I'm tired of this hot/cold, friends/acquaintances action. Thats the thing hey I'm not the clingy type. He used to do all the calling all the setting up dates. He always said how calm and easy going things felt when he was with me.
Ah you know i never really got how i was feeling off my chest and now that i have, let the cards fall where they may. Friendship, relationship or nothing. I've said my piece to him.
You guys are all so supportive and forthcoming with your advice. It is appreciated.
there is only one thing i would say and that is when you said you entered into an fwb to learn how to disconnect. that's madness! the key is not to learn to disconnect. life is about connecting.
Yeah after i ignored his response to my message he again texted 1 hour later saying how if its the whatsapp chatting then we could stop chatting but still hang out "because the last time you were with me everything was great". So i agreed and said we wouldnt chat on whatsapp. Today he sends messages asking how I'm doing then later takes screenshot of chats with his friends and says "see this is how i chat to my friends". Then sends another message about his test at college. Like i said. I'm just keepin my cool and playing it neutral.
Arielle,
I am sensing some hostility from you.
I don't know where it's stemming from. You appear more upset than the OP.
No one disrespected or was crass to the OP EXCEPT for one individual who I told her to disregard.
Probably a troll.
I agree with Busyeyes 100%
Her delivery may be a bit aggressive and less than tactful, but nonetheless she's always honest.
The OP seems like an amazing person, and unfortunately this Taurus guy is missing out.
My brother who is also a Taurus married a woman who I feel he isn't compatible with.
I believe that he allowed his soul mate to slip right through his fingers, based on those same judgemental views.
So yes, we're speaking from experience, from being Bulls ourselves, and observation from other male Bulls.
Yet he still keeps her around, and it still quite enamored with her. It's sooo obvious!
This is a reoccurring problem women have with Taurus men.
The OP's dilemma is not an isolated situation, trust me.
I used to be this rigid and judgemental, but over the years, but I have learned to control this way of thinking.
I'm learning to tap into my gray areas and learning to be more flexible and open-minded.
Arielle,
Maybe you should consider being a little more tolerant of other people's views as well, instead of demeaning us and coming for our necks (Taurus women) on our own board.
I am sensing some hostility from you.
I don't know where it's stemming from. You appear more upset than the OP.
No one disrespected or was crass to the OP EXCEPT for one individual who I told her to disregard.
Probably a troll.
I agree with Busyeyes 100%
Her delivery may be a bit aggressive and less than tactful, but nonetheless she's always honest.
The OP seems like an amazing person, and unfortunately this Taurus guy is missing out.
My brother who is also a Taurus married a woman who I feel he isn't compatible with.
I believe that he allowed his soul mate to slip right through his fingers, based on those same judgemental views.
So yes, we're speaking from experience, from being Bulls ourselves, and observation from other male Bulls.
Yet he still keeps her around, and it still quite enamored with her. It's sooo obvious!
This is a reoccurring problem women have with Taurus men.
The OP's dilemma is not an isolated situation, trust me.
I used to be this rigid and judgemental, but over the years, but I have learned to control this way of thinking.
I'm learning to tap into my gray areas and learning to be more flexible and open-minded.
Arielle,
Maybe you should consider being a little more tolerant of other people's views as well, instead of demeaning us and coming for our necks (Taurus women) on our own board.
@cancersweetheart,
If you think there is still a fighting chance...
Take this advice.
Bulls are very direct. We only give vague responses to vague questions.
Don't pester him about a relationship...You will get the same vague answers, and he will still insist on keeping you around to get in your draws.
Instead ASK him what qualities is he looking for in a woman.
He hasn't found what he was looking for in his previous relationships...ask him why...
Ask for the length of time these relationships lasted.
Was he hurt? Disappointed? Overly-generous? Too trusting?....Or to judgemental? Too dismissive?
Fight with logic. Check your emotions.
If you get direct responses from those questions, he will let his guards down, and will gradually let you in. Be consistent when you do this.
This is your only fighting chance.
If you think there is still a fighting chance...
Take this advice.
Bulls are very direct. We only give vague responses to vague questions.
Don't pester him about a relationship...You will get the same vague answers, and he will still insist on keeping you around to get in your draws.
Instead ASK him what qualities is he looking for in a woman.
He hasn't found what he was looking for in his previous relationships...ask him why...
Ask for the length of time these relationships lasted.
Was he hurt? Disappointed? Overly-generous? Too trusting?....Or to judgemental? Too dismissive?
Fight with logic. Check your emotions.
If you get direct responses from those questions, he will let his guards down, and will gradually let you in. Be consistent when you do this.
This is your only fighting chance.
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Posted by busyeyes88
You are very very vain I'll give you that much!!
What sun sign are you?
Are you a Leo?
methinks a libra.
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