Let's talk ladies (men invited to if you dare.)

Ok first want to apologize beforehand if this convo may offend anyone. Secondly.... How can it when it's about the most natural part of life?! Still not here to make anyone feel uncomfortable = (. All signs welcomed but be open n mature.

So I think you may know what I want to talk about, there might be tmi involved (waaay too sharing) 😆

Sex. Beautiful, intimate, fun, sensual , list can go on, but here is the problem I want to express.

I'm not an expert at all (I held out till 23, and that was due to meeting someone who I felt I could trust being vulnerable with in that way, yet he made me feel the most insecure...idk), I can be very shy at first, but once I get into it it's not so bad, it hasn't been very "fulfilling" tho. For Taurus people stamina is very important, you have to keep up, you have to last, and you have to please, of course we give back just as good. I've been with a Pisces, Virgo, Scorpio, and Aquarius, And they haven't fulfilled these reqs = ( I'm wondering is it me or I'm not meeting the right partners, (I had an interesting past two years). It's either too fast, not enough sensuality and passion or just plain unsatisfactory. I'm starting to feel like maybe it is just me, women have needs too (I feel like I've had this sexual awakening that I have to explore 😆)!

I want to know if anyone else runs into these problems in the bedroom (I know very private convo, but don't be afraid to share n leave me out here lonesome!)
It's just been on my mind for a very long time and I'm feeling open to discuss it.

What do you expect from your partner?

Whats most important to you (or turn on) pace, sensuality, talking (no -_-)

Men do you put you own pleasure before your woman's?

And lastly was this too explicit? 😆 what's the point in asking now right? ~shrugs~ I'm seriously curious? >_<

Open-minded thoughts, opinions welcomed. ~blushes~

Posted by Carlikins
Ok first want to apologize beforehand if this convo may offend anyone. Secondly.... How can it when it's about the most natural part of life?! Still not here to make anyone feel uncomfortable = (. All signs welcomed but be open n mature.

So I think you may know what I want to talk about, there might be tmi involved (waaay too sharing) 😆

Sex. Beautiful, intimate, fun, sensual , list can go on, but here is the problem I want to express.

I'm not an expert at all (I held out till 23, and that was due to meeting someone who I felt I could trust being vulnerable with in that way, yet he made me feel the most insecure...idk), I can be very shy at first, but once I get into it it's not so bad, it hasn't been very "fulfilling" tho. For Taurus people stamina is very important, you have to keep up, you have to last, and you have to please, of course we give back just as good. I've been with a Pisces, Virgo, Scorpio, and Aquarius, And they haven't fulfilled these reqs = ( I'm wondering is it me or I'm not meeting the right partners, (I had an interesting past two years). It's either too fast, not enough sensuality and passion or just plain unsatisfactory. I'm starting to feel like maybe it is just me, women have needs too (I feel like I've had this sexual awakening that I have to explore 😆)!

I want to know if anyone else runs into these problems in the bedroom (I know very private convo, but don't be afraid to share n leave me out here lonesome!)
It's just been on my mind for a very long time and I'm feeling open to discuss it.

What do you expect from your partner?

Whats most important to you (or turn on) pace, sensuality, talking (no -_-)

Men do you put you own pleasure before your woman's?

And lastly was this too explicit? 😆 what's the point in asking now right? ~shrugs~ I'm seriously curious? >_

Rudeness not allowed please be respectful.

Posted by MilkySoft

Posted by Carlikins
yet he made me feel the most insecure...idk), I can be very shy at first, but once I get into it it's not so bad, it hasn't been very "fulfilling" tho.

Insecurity and feeling inhibited will prevent you from getting the most out of it. Has love ever been a part of the equation in your sexual relations? Some people just won't get much out of it unless there's a deeper connection.

I know you waited till 23, but it seems like you've rushed in with other partners within that time? Taking your time with the next person so you feel closer/more in-tune might help.

And yeah, if you want anymore discussion out of me you'll probably have to take it to PM. 😛

click to expand

Perfectly fine by me.

From a Cancer point of view, the absolutely best, over the top can't get enough of it sex is when you're completely secure in yourself and your partner, you trust that person and you're very emotionally connected. It's transcendent. All sex outside of that context is just a means to an orgasm and you can do that solo just as easily. It's like comparing the best ever dessert to eating a thing of smarties. Sure, it's sweet and takes away the urge for sugar, but it's nothing to brag about.

Posted by MoonArtist
From a Cancer point of view, the absolutely best, over the top can't get enough of it sex is when you're completely secure in yourself and your partner, you trust that person and you're very emotionally connected. It's transcendent. All sex outside of that context is just a means to an orgasm and you can do that solo just as easily. It's like comparing the best ever dessert to eating a thing of smarties. Sure, it's sweet and takes away the urge for sugar, but it's nothing to brag about.

+1 🙂

Carli - with all that Gemini and Libra in your chart, I think you just need more of what should come naturally with your partners - communication. And shame about the subject, or fear of being unclassy or whatever it is that is blocking this, is probably what is holding you back here. There's nothing wrong with discussing what you like sexually with a partner. A man who cares about you will see it as a challenge, and even find it sexy (outside of the bedroom and in the bedroom). Most men's egos are very much tied into sexual performance. But if you aren't speaking up, they tend to assume they're doing a good job as a sort of default mode of ego-protection.

I've found it is VERY hard for most of the women I've been with to talk about what they like sexually w/their partner. Even if they tell you everything is perfect, if you dig, you often find all sorts of fantasies and preferences they aren't sharing. A lot of times, it might be fear of hurting the man's ego. OTOH, I think most men are very forthcoming about what and exactly how they like things sexually. Most of the men I know, speak of their sexual relationship with their partners as if they had to sort of train them to know what they like. And though it *sounds* bad, that's probably how it should be, but in both directions.

Our sexuality is unique and complex. We are all so very different in this area even just physiologically (certain positions will feel better/worse, etc.), and beyond that, our experiences in life and our emotional makeup have a huge role to play. That said, though often you'll meet someone you just gel with perfectly, I've found it to be rare. I think that with long-term, stable, committed relationships, the communication is more likely to be there, as well as the security and openness, and thus its the best way to cultivate a more fulfilling sex life, rather than just looking for new/different partners.

Tons of foreplay before anything else. It's really not hard for a man I'm in love with to turn me on, but true desire won't just come flying down from the skies either. The steamier it gets, the better the actual action will be. If it's the first time around, time to explore each other's bodies, how we move against one another, what does the trick and what doesn't, find each other's weak spots is a ritual I simply want. I don't always need it, but I want it.

I don't mind flirty exchanges and romantic/erotic talk, in other words playfulness. In fact, those are very welcome, but I dislike dirty talk for some reason. Nothing against it, it just doesn't do it for me. Pace, some would call it "slow" but I'd call it sensual & erotic, almost careful.. paying attention to each other's movements. I don't want anyone to "preform", I want us to simply be loved by one another, a certain physical & spiritual togetherness to be present. Roughness doesn't do it for me either. Eye-contact, lip action, neck nibbling, kissing, touching, lots of touching, embracing, bodies as close to one another as possible. Atmosphere. Music, fabric of the sheets we lie in, the scents, the lights, the heat between us, even the clothes we undress, little things like that can make a huge difference to me. Stamina I believe plays a huge role in a sex life of any Taurus. A man that can go at it for a while and keep himself under control earns my admiration and respect. Goes without saying that we should both trust each other immensely. Trust will trigger desired or needed communication, be it verbal or physical.

Assuming that we're talking about an actual relationship where both parties are in love and loved and desired and stuff.

All very good points ladies = )

my Venus is in Gemini so communication is key and I love conversation... none of the guys I meet really fit that... with the ex we would have that uncomfortable silence some times and I would feel the need to fill it, a few times he just made me feel like I shouldn't have said anything at all... after him it was all very brief and I'll say there was probably no love in any of it. I was seeking for something and searching verification that I was desired (yes I know so bad = /) since my ex didn't make me feel that way. Mars is in Cancer and so I do need that emotional connection and security, I thought I could have that with my ex, he just wouldn't open up with me and instead pushed me away very subtly,(most noticeable was lack of intimacy).

@TaurusLovesScorpio... I'm actually very forthcoming with my partner when it comes to having that discussion.

I think I went about it all the wrong way with my relationships. My ex was my first 😆 and I just kinda expected it to just work as it should naturally, he def wasn't the right guy, afterwards it was to find what was missing in that first relationship (also wanted experience so I could be a better lover, I like to learn and grow in every aspect... could this be Gemini's influence?).

The Virgo was the closet it came to finding that (we still talk, but his life is so messy right now I don't think he can seriously consider a relationship...friendship is find with me), but he lives in another state and none of these guys I've met are phone people! lol it drives me crazy because I want to talk, get to know everything about them and them me, and conversation and closeness is the only way to do that... I have always thought that FWB was not for me, I wasn't capable of having unattached sex, seems like I can, but it's not fulfilling at all.

Anywho I nipped that all in the butt I broke up with my ex saying I need to get back to myself so that's what I should be doing. Yet the Libra(asc/moon) side of me is yearning for someone to call my own... ~sigh~ it sucks, and I feel like a sukkah when I reflect back on it all, but I don't regret it really, I gained a lot of insight from it and the next person I have a relationship (hopefully the right kinda man) will reap the benefits.

Posted by Carlikins


What do you expect from your partner?

Loyalty. Honesty. Reliability and Consistency.

Posted by Carlikins
Whats most important to you (or turn on) pace, sensuality, talking (no -_-)

click to expand

My Mars is in Pisces and my Venus is in Aries.

Sensuality and Passion. Intense connection in the bedroom. Eye contact. Ecstasy. Eyes closed. Slow and steady. Deep Sensual Kisses....Affection, if the the rhythm and pace increases, then more passion and intensity.

No dirty talk.

Posted by TaurusBull1977

Posted by Carlikins


What do you expect from your partner?

Loyalty. Honesty. Reliability and Consistency.

Posted by Carlikins
Whats most important to you (or turn on) pace, sensuality, talking (no -_-)

My Mars is in Pisces and my Venus is in Aries.

Sensuality and Passion. Intense connection in the bedroom. Eye contact. Ecstasy. Eyes closed. Slow and steady. Deep Sensual Kisses....Affection, if the the rhythm and pace increases, then more passion and intensity.

No dirty talk.

click to expand

Ohhh I like yours... see that's what I'm talkin about, no talking necessary when it's that heated! lol

what I mean in "what's most important to u in your partner" I mean in the bedroom, tenderness? aggression? so on. what role would you like him to play if that makes sense...

Hmmmm...what roles, etc. That all depends on my mood. Sometimes I'm feeling aggressive and want to bite, scratch and be rough and sometimes not. Sometimes I want to be possessed and sometimes not. As a triple cancer there's just so many options and I'm willing to dive into them all if the partnership is right.

I would agree that your own insecurity will hold you back!! I was also older for my first time and was so afraid. So there was no pleasure.

Now that i am older I honestly still feel like I have to be tipsy or intoxicated to get any pleasure from someone i am not emotionally connected with. When I am in a relationship and absolutely adore that person it seems like everything feels 100% better.

Well....

There was no trust w/my ex hub and I know I did hold back w/him. There was much water under the bridge from the start. He was my first and he was a selfish lover. Our s*x life was MEH. Had others in between our breakups and I know it's wrong to compare but I did...oops.

I agree w/MoonArtist...with my ex Pisces I told him I liked the rough stuff occassionally but I could tell it was hard for him to be rough, too sensitive, he did put his pleasure before mine sometimes though. He wasn't much w/expressing his feelings outside and that INCLUDED the b/r...ugh, not sayin I wanna hear dirty talk but at least let me know you are enjoying yourself. During oral s*x I had to straight up ask him once, are you enjoying this or not? TALK TO ME BRO..LMAO. What up with that!? Guess he was in his own lil world in his head...

While I know it helps to tell your partner what you like, if you have to give them too much detail then something's up. I feel they should be able to tell what you like by your screams 😛

Great topic!

My ex was a selfish person in bed, too. No creativity but he pretty much treated most of sex as some dirty act. Oral was a huge no with him and when he was done he'd get out of bed and take a shower. Cuddling didn't exist.

Well, not everyone can tell by the screams. I'm not loud at all! Not sure if its a water sign thing or what. lol

Posted by Carlikins

what I mean in "what's most important to u in your partner" I mean in the bedroom, tenderness? aggression? so on. what role would you like him to play if that makes sense...

I prefer that he's the Dominant one. Tenderness. Passion, slight Aggression...Tenderness.....Sensual

In that exact same order! 🙂


Oh....to be taken, until I'm in total submission....😉

I'm not a Taurus but I have the biggest sex drive out of anyone I??ve ever met. Which the Taurus I'm with is catching up to. The one place Taurus is not lazy is in bed. They are bed athletes! Haha And good for you for waiting. I waited till I was 26. Wish I had waited till this one though. Because he was who I??ve been waiting my whole life to meet.

What do you expect from your partner?
Love and respect.

Whats most important to you (or turn on) pace, sensuality, talking (no -_-)

Love and respect.

Men do you put you own pleasure before your woman's?
Equality is key, but the Taurus finds pleasure in pleasing me, so it's win win. I love him though, if he said tomorrow he wanted to stop having sex. And this could very well happen because of religion, I would say ok.

And lastly was this too explicit? 😆 what's the point in asking now right? ~shrugs~ I'm seriously curious? >_<
No way. As a Taurus would say, —It's natural.?? 😉

OMG I have to also add that the Taurus dude is freaking loud in bed I feel bad for my neighbors sometimes hahahaha

LOL = D You women are great! I'm not loud either unless, it's really intense, but I find it too embarrassing to speak during sex and it's just awkward... I don't want to have to speak, make me speechless 😆... and it's depends on what's being said too, not the cheesy porn talk, we're not making a video, we're making LOVE. I just realized that I don't think I actually made love with my partners = (...

I'm only loud if we're alone on an abandoned beach and I'm trying to communicate with the heavens 😉