Moving on
This topic was created in the Taurus forum by Deena002 on Thursday, November 7, 2013 and has 15 replies.
As a Taurus woman, I have heard that it takes a while for us to move on after a failed relationship. Just wondering how many have experienced the same thing.
I'm just tired of my friends telling me to just "move on". It's way too much pressure!
I have stayed single 3 to 2 years between each relationship.
I'm just tired of my friends telling me to just "move on". It's way too much pressure!
I have stayed single 3 to 2 years between each relationship.
It sounds like too much pointless torture. It's healthy to allow yourself to live through the process of getting over a painful event, learning to live without someone you got used to. It's the only way of truly moving on. For me personally, a few months to a year until I completely recover, depending on the relationship. But 2-3 years? It's a long time. A lot of good things could be happening in those 3 years while I cry over a lost love and I don't wanna miss out on them. Cherish the good times you've had as a dear memory, but let it go is my way to go.
The 3 & 2 years have been the longest. The relationship I had a year ago only took me 3 months to get over.
But this last break up feels different, I miss him more than any of my previous ex's; it has only been 10 days and my friends are already trying to get me "out there" to date again... I just need some time to process & hoping for some taurus women wisdom
But this last break up feels different, I miss him more than any of my previous ex's; it has only been 10 days and my friends are already trying to get me "out there" to date again... I just need some time to process & hoping for some taurus women wisdom
@Deeana002---
It depends how those two years are being utilized.
If that time is spent mentally obsessing over a break-up, then yes, it's unhealthy.
But when those two years are spent on self-reflection, growth, transformation, re-defining your priorities, and exploring other aspects of your self that you would like to embrace, then yes, this time alone can be very therapeutic.
My Moon is in Gemini, My Venus is in Aries, an my rising sign is in Aquarius, so I have more of an an autonomous perception of relationships, and an existentialist view of myself in regards to relationships. I wouldn't consider it a restless disposition, but more of a passionate realization.
Although being a Bull, I'm more inclined to love being in a traditional harmonious relationship, however, sustaining a relationship with someone I do not feel connected to intellectually, physically or emotionally...fighting to sustain a dead-end relationship will defeat my life's purpose. I will rationalize, assess, and just accept that it was simply not meant to be. But to spend two years obsessing over it? Absolutely not!
Your friends should advise you on how to heal first...don't break someone else's heart by recruiting a rebound.
It depends how those two years are being utilized.
If that time is spent mentally obsessing over a break-up, then yes, it's unhealthy.
But when those two years are spent on self-reflection, growth, transformation, re-defining your priorities, and exploring other aspects of your self that you would like to embrace, then yes, this time alone can be very therapeutic.
My Moon is in Gemini, My Venus is in Aries, an my rising sign is in Aquarius, so I have more of an an autonomous perception of relationships, and an existentialist view of myself in regards to relationships. I wouldn't consider it a restless disposition, but more of a passionate realization.
Although being a Bull, I'm more inclined to love being in a traditional harmonious relationship, however, sustaining a relationship with someone I do not feel connected to intellectually, physically or emotionally...fighting to sustain a dead-end relationship will defeat my life's purpose. I will rationalize, assess, and just accept that it was simply not meant to be. But to spend two years obsessing over it? Absolutely not!
Your friends should advise you on how to heal first...don't break someone else's heart by recruiting a rebound.
Thanks for the advice, "fighting to sustain a dead-end relationship will defeat my life's purpose" is important for me to remember. The time I spend 2 years between relationships, I spent trying to get my dream job & succeeded & the 3 years I spend b/w the other relationships, I spent getting my MA degree.
My main issue is that my friends think that 12 days is enough time to mourn my last relationship & I'm just seeing how long it has taken others to mourn their past relationships.
& the 3 years I spend b/w the other relationships, I spent getting my MA degree. My main issue is that my friends think that 12 days is enough time to mourn my last relationship & I'm just seeing how long it has taken others to mourn their past relationships.
Signed Up: Oct 15, 2013
Comments: 0 · Posts: 286 · Topics: 1
Comments: 0 · Posts: 286 · Topics: 1
I stayed single about a year after my 20 year marriage failed. We had been on the skids for the last 3 years though, and I was already on my way out of it mentally anyway. While it's smart to take time to mend yourself and be confident with being alone, you should not cut yourself off from having fun, getting out - distracting yourself if you will. Do you go out at all? Maybe that's what your friends are getting at. I also don't think it's wise to jump out there if you're not ready. As TaurBull said above, if you're not ready it's not fair to hook up with someone who doesn't even stand a chance.
We move at our own pace. Circumstances, deepness of the r/s and other feelings do factor in too. Don't let anyone make you do anything you don't want to do, but at the same time...weight it all out...will going out for harmless happy hour hurt or help you mentally?
We move at our own pace. Circumstances, deepness of the r/s and other feelings do factor in too. Don't let anyone make you do anything you don't want to do, but at the same time...weight it all out...will going out for harmless happy hour hurt or help you mentally?
Signed Up: Oct 15, 2013
Comments: 0 · Posts: 286 · Topics: 1
Comments: 0 · Posts: 286 · Topics: 1
P.S. Heyyyy I could've SWORN I uploaded a better pic!
Don't get mad at me Robyn!
Let me try again
Don't get mad at me Robyn!
Let me try again
Signed Up: Oct 15, 2013
Comments: 0 · Posts: 286 · Topics: 1
Comments: 0 · Posts: 286 · Topics: 1
Don't actually know where it's from but it calms me down when I look at it. Greenery and sunset....aaahhhh....
Only you know your breaking point
We bulls are stubborn, that's just a fact, but u will know when the time is right for you
And when that day comes just spend that time knowing that you did your best and that's all that matters
We bulls are stubborn, that's just a fact, but u will know when the time is right for you
And when that day comes just spend that time knowing that you did your best and that's all that matters
1 of my best friends is a Taurus.
She takes breakups so hard b/c what she's really grieving is the loss of the high expectations/hopes she put into a person, moreso than she's grieving the loss of the actual person
There's nothing wrong with taking yearly breaks after a relationship. Hell, I wish more people would do this. I'm more freaked out by the people who can go relationship to relationship. Why? B/c losing a loved one naturally comes with a grieving process. Normally, when there's no grieving process in between relationships, that indicates that the love they had with their ex wasn't ever love OR was a very shallow love that only reached just below the surface.
However long it takes for you to get over someone is however long you should be single! If that means being single for 5 years b/c it took you that long to fully heal & get over it, then so be it!
Relationships would be so much healthier & longer lasting if people would heal & deal with all of their past baggage/heartbreak BEFORE dragging someone new down with all their past baggage bullsh**t. But nope, everybody is so in a rush & act like the world is gonna end unless they find a replacement in 5 minutes
Just b/c a person has the courage to physically, sexually & literally go be with someone else, doesn't mean in any way that they've healed from the past or gotten over it. Sometimes the mere fact that they are always constantly in & out of new relationships indicates that they're only doing it b/c they can't seem to get over who REALLY still had their heart
We should stop judging people b/c they're true to themselves & honest about how long it takes them to fully emotionally break from a relationship. It makes a lot more sense to condemn someone for moving on before they were truly ready as opposed to putting them down for actually waiting b/c they didn't wanna waste someone else's time!!
She takes breakups so hard b/c what she's really grieving is the loss of the high expectations/hopes she put into a person, moreso than she's grieving the loss of the actual person
There's nothing wrong with taking yearly breaks after a relationship. Hell, I wish more people would do this. I'm more freaked out by the people who can go relationship to relationship. Why? B/c losing a loved one naturally comes with a grieving process. Normally, when there's no grieving process in between relationships, that indicates that the love they had with their ex wasn't ever love OR was a very shallow love that only reached just below the surface.
However long it takes for you to get over someone is however long you should be single! If that means being single for 5 years b/c it took you that long to fully heal & get over it, then so be it!
Relationships would be so much healthier & longer lasting if people would heal & deal with all of their past baggage/heartbreak BEFORE dragging someone new down with all their past baggage bullsh**t. But nope, everybody is so in a rush & act like the world is gonna end unless they find a replacement in 5 minutes
Just b/c a person has the courage to physically, sexually & literally go be with someone else, doesn't mean in any way that they've healed from the past or gotten over it. Sometimes the mere fact that they are always constantly in & out of new relationships indicates that they're only doing it b/c they can't seem to get over who REALLY still had their heart
We should stop judging people b/c they're true to themselves & honest about how long it takes them to fully emotionally break from a relationship. It makes a lot more sense to condemn someone for moving on before they were truly ready as opposed to putting them down for actually waiting b/c they didn't wanna waste someone else's time!!
I'll never forget my father telling me once to be careful of what I envy. He told me that just b/c a couple looks happy doesn't mean that they really are happy. He told me that people are good at pretending b/c they are more obsessed with how others feel about them more than they're concerned with how they feel about themselves!
The same rings true for breakups. Just b/c someone has moved on, is in a new relationship, etc. doesn't mean for 1 second that they are healed, over their ex or even ready for a new relationship! Looks can be very deceiving!
So don't be so quick to feel that something is wrong with you all b/c it may take you 20 extra minutes than someone else to get over someone/something. Everybody is different. And how long it takes a person to move on can depend a lot on whatever they've gone through in the past. The girl whose been hurt 100 times may have more trouble getting over a breakup, OR the girl whose never been hurt might take 100 years to get over her 1st break up.
Since everybody's past is different, it's only fair to expect for everybody's "heal time" to be different. You never know when your bullsh**t will be the 1st or last straw for someone. The women who have had really traumatic childhoods, or "Daddy issues" tend to take a lot longer to break free from relationships b/c of their abandonment issues. Your girlfriends only see that it's taking you 2 years to move on, but that's b/c they're not looking below the surface & at all the other factors (abandonment issues, low self esteem, etc.) that contributed to you taking forever lol
The same rings true for breakups. Just b/c someone has moved on, is in a new relationship, etc. doesn't mean for 1 second that they are healed, over their ex or even ready for a new relationship! Looks can be very deceiving!
So don't be so quick to feel that something is wrong with you all b/c it may take you 20 extra minutes than someone else to get over someone/something. Everybody is different. And how long it takes a person to move on can depend a lot on whatever they've gone through in the past. The girl whose been hurt 100 times may have more trouble getting over a breakup, OR the girl whose never been hurt might take 100 years to get over her 1st break up.
Since everybody's past is different, it's only fair to expect for everybody's "heal time" to be different. You never know when your bullsh**t will be the 1st or last straw for someone. The women who have had really traumatic childhoods, or "Daddy issues" tend to take a lot longer to break free from relationships b/c of their abandonment issues. Your girlfriends only see that it's taking you 2 years to move on, but that's b/c they're not looking below the surface & at all the other factors (abandonment issues, low self esteem, etc.) that contributed to you taking forever lol
I mourn on and off for 10 years for my one true painful love. But moon in Gemini in me knows that it was not meant to be but true love is feeling, it is not logic. However in this 10 years, I keep telling myself to move on and keep dating people to find that one person that can overwrite my past love.
Signed Up: Oct 29, 2014
Comments: 1 · Posts: 16583 · Topics: 222
Comments: 1 · Posts: 16583 · Topics: 222
Hm 3 year old posts. Hehe
The best way to get over someone is to get under someone. LOL.
I had a long unhappy period after a breakup with another Taurus. A couple of years later I got over it with the help of a Leo guy I met. Grieve while you need to. But do allow people into your life. It's the best way to heal.
I had a long unhappy period after a breakup with another Taurus. A couple of years later I got over it with the help of a Leo guy I met. Grieve while you need to. But do allow people into your life. It's the best way to heal.
Posted by Season
The best way to get over someone is to get under someone. LOL.
I had a long unhappy period after a breakup with another Taurus. A couple of years later I got over it with the help of a Leo guy I met. Grieve while you need to. But do allow people into your life. It's the best way to heal.
Yes and yes!
Actually it hurts so much that I need to find someone else. I know may be selfish, but elsewise it is too painful for me.
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