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Apr 18, 2013Comments: 1 · Posts: 4807 · Topics: 263
I don't know what it is but he managed to dig deep and do it his way to bring out my jealous side of a Taurus which doesn't have much to begin with because of my airy placements but he does it and I don't like it ....._??? ..... but I'm sure he enjoys it a little... There's more to the story but I don't wanna go details..... I honestly hate to feel jealous, I don't act on them or anything but can't help myself acting a bit different n he can straight away sense if I am acting wired and if I am upset! Seriously !!!!! What should I do with this situation....
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Apr 18, 2013Comments: 1 · Posts: 4807 · Topics: 263
I will try my best to not show a sign of jealousy so he can stop, but what I can see that will not satisfy his insecurity side either. so I'm kind of stuck in the middle lol.... I Believe he did say his ex was becoming jealous n insecure of him over time but I did tell him I figure its because of him not her. Trust me I tell him as it is many times yet he still tries n yet it still gets me.... haha I'm just asking a Taurus sun how to control it posessiveness the jealous nature of it... I don't have many to begin with but he knows how to dig deep into it lol....
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Feb 01, 2015Comments: 0 · Posts: 1528 · Topics: 23
First of all it can't be that subtle if whatever he's doing is bringing feelings if jealousy to the surface that normally lay dormant.
Secondly, I might have read this wrong but, it looks like you're saying he needs your jealousy to satisfy his insecurities.
Lastly why is ending the relationship not an option?
IMO this is an unhealthy situation for both of you. If not dealt with properly, it will surely leave you with some emotional damage.
Jealousy is a very powerful and dangerous emotion. If you are not by nature a jealous person, then ask yourself why do you feel like this. Also why does he seem to enjoy making you feel this way?
This will not end well if you do not take control of this situation.
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Apr 18, 2013Comments: 1 · Posts: 4807 · Topics: 263
This will not end well if you do not take control of this situation.
Yeah, I understand totally.... our stories are long short, I don't wanna go to details butt I believe it is his way to rest assure himself that I care and jealous of him and love him... I have done enough to proven my love, words action and others.... I think this thread needs another venus in Scorpio person to help me sort this issue out.... I will give you an example, last time we saw each other he asked me subtly who I danced with in class... he found out I slept with a few people there yet at that time there were tons of confusions between us, he asked me straight up front if I slept with one of the friends in the team who is my dance partner. I had to be honest and said yes.. He is also my dance partner but we did it when he broke up with his girlfriend. I'm not proud of it but at the month of an emotional tantrum between me and him,( we were not exclusive), n e how, after I said yes, he said " see I can see through these things".... I didn't say anything, n I said it was just a moment thing and I don't see him that way. I told him how much I love my dancing team n he said " do you know this girl...., " n I said" yes, " and I said " why?" And he said" nothin she seems nice" I was getting a bit jealous but tried hard not to act on it... he noticed and said why I'm acting wired and how it's not cool... n I said well why did u have to bring her up, u know how much I love the team and it isn't right if he was to be or get with her,he said he will not do that.. Obviously he got the reaction he wanted n he said," imagine me,! U slept with a few people that I know but I'm not acting angry at you or get wired blabla.. Then my little jealousy to stopped n we went back to cuddling each other.. Those are all the past, I havnt been with another for 3-4 months now n he's aware... I think he's extremely paranoid that I will repeat the same action.... I know it's mainly my fault but at the same time he never said we were exclusive, we never discussed it ..! It led to tons of drama but over time we solved all of that n came out of it stronger... I just feel that he's still testing me and bringing other girls in the picture so I know how he feels... All that has to stop.... I just wish I know how......
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Apr 18, 2013Comments: 1 · Posts: 4807 · Topics: 263
I do not want to end it because I love him truly... his imperfection and perfection the same thing. What I don't like is him having the ability to bring my hidden jealousy side out and I don't like those feelings. I have an Aqua moon and very very carefree... when it comes to him n another moment, I don't like it ... it started quiet early on between us... He was manipulating the situation of this particular girl, n I got truly upset but never said to him that I was.. I left the party without saying a normal bye... He didn't do anything physical but I don't know why it just made me upset ... the next day I drove for 2 hrs to release my mind n thoughts. He messaged me asking if I was upset knowing that it was him doing this on purpose. Ofcoz, he continued for 3-4 more weeks similar thing again and again and again. I got upset not be used I was jealous really but I know it was an emotional manipulative game he was playing on me!!! He would never admit it . Now that that is all solved n done, he stopped... yet I see it here and there now and again but not as much... He thought I was playing game and I thought he was playing game.! It was an emotional tantrum ... now it's a lot smoother. Took us a year lol....long story short I think me and him need to have a discussion about it....I just wonder if it's normal for a Taurus to get slightly jealous. n how do they normally act on it....
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Feb 01, 2015Comments: 0 · Posts: 1528 · Topics: 23
I sincerely hope you do take all of this into consideration.
You clearly want it to work because you love him. I've experienced the deep, intense love you're talking about, it's beautiful and scary all at once. You become love drunk.
Unfortunately though, sometimes love just isn't enough to make it work. When it starts to hurt, drive you mad and make you unhappy it's time to move on.
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Jun 20, 2014Comments: 1 · Posts: 3847 · Topics: 1
My two pence worth:
I think some of the issues you both have with this relationship stem from when and how you got together.
I can't comment on Taurus jealousy but as a Scorp Sun and Venus I am familiar with that side.
He's bringing up 'the past' such as who you did and did not sleep with either before or during when you got together. The whole being exclusive or not exclusive thing has caused issues as, in your view, you were not exclusive. In his view, he may have thought you were exclusive or now he found out you had been with others at the start while being with him, he's now making it an issue. If you had not been with anyone else while seeing him then this would not be an issue he would bring up. He would have probably found something else to pick on though.
In my view, he's bringing it up because he feels mistrust or cheated in some way. He won't let this go and every time you go out or talk to someone or go to dance class or whatever, he will apply your same behaviour from when you met to the current situation you have now. If that makes sense.
It's a bit of a mess but that's why I think he's going in the same circle. It doesn't matter what the situation is, he will always bring it up and hold it against you.
This is something he needs to deal with and let go of if you're both to have any good future together.
It is unfair for him to expect you to never see or talk to anyone ever again. However, he's picking on this because he needs a lot of reassurance, more than he lets on, he won't be direct about it either hence the indirect, manipulative ways in order to provoke a reaction from you. When he gets the reaction he feels better. It will continue.
I've been like this before and it's not healthy. At 35 I'm still learning to try and be direct, act like an adult, not be emotionally manipulative to compensate for my lack of directness or inability to ask for what I want, and to be scared of the answer etc.
You both need to hit this head on, especially him, or it will not be resolved and it will go in circles.
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Apr 18, 2013Comments: 1 · Posts: 4807 · Topics: 263
It gives me an indepth explanation of his behaviour. There was also another guy in the scene too who he has asked previously if I still talk to him. I said no. Weeks go by and he mentioned him again asking if I think this guy is a a $ $ hole. lol. I said he seems nice but I don't talk to him anymore. Weeks go by he mentioned it again.(believe it or not) asking if I like this guy n if I still talk to him. For goodness sake, he kept asking about the same guy. n honestly I think he's very jealous of this particular one who I seriously had a horrible sex with and I don't even have any kind of feelings at all. Mind u, before he tested me when we had a fight n he says I should go out with this guy because he will be the perfect fit. What is that all about.... now he's using this one girl to get my reaction all the time... I honestly don't know how to end this cycle!!!!! it's my fault yes for causing this drama but it was not my fault he was never clear about us ever. He was giving me 1 day a week kind of thing.. I honestly didn't know where I stood.... hence the shock when he said all of the sudden we r sleeping with other people !! lol... So today he asked me what I have been doing!!!! As I didn't text him the whole day. I normally initiate contacts but I didn't coz I knew he was at woek... I said I had dance training as usual. He never responded but I know he would have been panicking n had million thoughts in his head!!! Seriously I don't know how to clear the air or get rid of the paranoid. Is this worth it... In honestly very tired of it all....
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Oct 29, 2014Comments: 1 · Posts: 16583 · Topics: 222
Jealousy traits are not in everyone. But sincerely it is with me.. and I'm learning that jealousy is good. It's like a red flag probably for the other person who doesn't... The more I question you the more I start to wonder wtf...the less I question you it's all gravy..no stress please.
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Oct 29, 2014Comments: 1 · Posts: 16583 · Topics: 222
It gives me the benefits of all doubt so jealousy is negative and positive feedbacks.
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Apr 18, 2013Comments: 1 · Posts: 4807 · Topics: 263
So , what do u mean by the more the question the more u go wtf lol...!!! I don't like this trait at all and I would do every thing I can to keep it hidden and not let it take over me. Walk away if I must .
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Jun 20, 2014Comments: 1 · Posts: 3847 · Topics: 1
See, in your example, it highlights the cycle this guy goes through.
It's not your fault. It's just how it is. Different communication styles and approaches.
My ex cancer was like this but I was 17 at the time and I didn't get his behaviour of making arguments because the making up bit made him feel secure. It was tiring. It didn't last! Thank God!
I think you need to have a good conversation with him. No bullshit. Give no bullshit. Take no bullshit.