Need Help: Sudden Change with my Taurus Girlfriend
This topic was created in the Taurus forum by NeedInput on Monday, January 2, 2012 and has 16 replies.
My Taurus girlfriend all of a sudden changed on me, about 2 weeks ago. She was very aggressive at first, flirting with me and trying to always hang-out with me. This was about 5 months ago. I didn't want a girlfriend at the time and was just kind of doing my own thing, being single. Then one day I gave in to her advances, we slept together, and she asked me to be her boyfriend. Yes, she did all the stuff a man probably usually does, just because I wasn't interested at first. Anyway, things have been great for over 4 months strong! Great until about 2 weeks ago.
I feel like I noticed the change from one day to the next. She is now all of a sudden not "needing" to hang-out/talk/text with me every day. She is starting to refuse sex. She doesn't want to cuddle. She'll leave saying good-bye but just not kiss me. She doesn't reach-over and touch me randomly anymore. When I hold her hand it feels dead to me. She's just really distant to me now.
We have made it this far and have never gotten into a single fight. We're both really passive level-headed people, in my opinion. I am really sweet to her and help her out with things around her house, all the time. I take her out to dinner/movies/whatever all the time and I always am the one who pays. I have done nothing wrong and keep trying to showing her (not just tell her) that I care about her. I think she's an amazing person.
Why is she being so distant all of a sudden, after wanting to be with me so badly at first? Did she finally "get me" and now is bored and wants to move on? Has she just lost interest? There is no way she can be mad at me for something. I'm confused (and hurt)!
A couple days ago I asked her if everything's "OK with us?" and she said, "Yeah, of course we're OK, why are you being all clingy?" Basically, talking about this kind of stuff with her just makes her more distant. I am now becoming distant myself and as non-clingy as possible, even though I didn't consider myself being clingy in the first place, hoping that this is what she wants. The holidays were crappy.
Here are some of our signs:
Her:
Sun in Taurus
Moon in Aries
Venus in Pisces
Mars in Libra
Me:
Sun in Pisces
Moon in Cancer
Venus in Aries
Mars in Aquarius
I really don't want to lose her! She's a good friend and I care about her, but this sudden change is hurting me. I feel like it's because I'm a Pisces Sun Cancer Moon that I can sometimes feel emotions too much.
Any advice would be much appreciated!
I feel like I noticed the change from one day to the next. She is now all of a sudden not "needing" to hang-out/talk/text with me every day. She is starting to refuse sex. She doesn't want to cuddle. She'll leave saying good-bye but just not kiss me. She doesn't reach-over and touch me randomly anymore. When I hold her hand it feels dead to me. She's just really distant to me now.
We have made it this far and have never gotten into a single fight. We're both really passive level-headed people, in my opinion. I am really sweet to her and help her out with things around her house, all the time. I take her out to dinner/movies/whatever all the time and I always am the one who pays. I have done nothing wrong and keep trying to showing her (not just tell her) that I care about her. I think she's an amazing person.
Why is she being so distant all of a sudden, after wanting to be with me so badly at first? Did she finally "get me" and now is bored and wants to move on? Has she just lost interest? There is no way she can be mad at me for something. I'm confused (and hurt)!
A couple days ago I asked her if everything's "OK with us?" and she said, "Yeah, of course we're OK, why are you being all clingy?" Basically, talking about this kind of stuff with her just makes her more distant. I am now becoming distant myself and as non-clingy as possible, even though I didn't consider myself being clingy in the first place, hoping that this is what she wants. The holidays were crappy.
Here are some of our signs:
Her:
Sun in Taurus
Moon in Aries
Venus in Pisces
Mars in Libra
Me:
Sun in Pisces
Moon in Cancer
Venus in Aries
Mars in Aquarius
I really don't want to lose her! She's a good friend and I care about her, but this sudden change is hurting me. I feel like it's because I'm a Pisces Sun Cancer Moon that I can sometimes feel emotions too much.
Any advice would be much appreciated!
Just give her some space (Aries moon helllooo). She most likely just wants to do her own thing for a bit. If in like 2 weeks she doesn't call or act her usual self then I would worry.
I'm not a taurus, but this seems to be the same with any sign and also both genders. If there is a sudden change, especially when it involves withholding affection it means they don't want to be with you anymore.
I've gone through this several times (including recently, and the guy told me he just wanted to be friends after all) and I've been this way myself when I wasn't sure about which guy to pick. I was very intimate with the guy I was seeing, but another guy came along. I wasn't sure if I liked this guy or not so I didn't start being intimate with him until I felt like I wanted to be with him.
If something had upset her I would say this could also be the case too, but you said you guys never fight.
So now I guess all you can do is talk to her about it. Hopefully she will be decent enough to tell you it's just not working instead of drag you along. Especially if there's another guy involved.
Obviously she saw something she didn't like which is turning her off. At least try to ask her what's up so you can fix it...if she's patient enough with you she will tell you what she doesn't like and if you decide to change it she will wait patiently for you to do so.
I've gone through this several times (including recently, and the guy told me he just wanted to be friends after all) and I've been this way myself when I wasn't sure about which guy to pick. I was very intimate with the guy I was seeing, but another guy came along. I wasn't sure if I liked this guy or not so I didn't start being intimate with him until I felt like I wanted to be with him.
If something had upset her I would say this could also be the case too, but you said you guys never fight.
So now I guess all you can do is talk to her about it. Hopefully she will be decent enough to tell you it's just not working instead of drag you along. Especially if there's another guy involved.
Obviously she saw something she didn't like which is turning her off. At least try to ask her what's up so you can fix it...if she's patient enough with you she will tell you what she doesn't like and if you decide to change it she will wait patiently for you to do so.
It seems like any relationship. You want what you can't have and you don't care for what you have. Show her your independent side. Possibly all the 'emotions' could make HER FEEL like it's drowning her (I am a bit bias against pisces... lol but!). It's just something that could be felt. If anything you could be hugging her as normal and one day she could feel like it's too much even when you've been doing it normally ALL this time.
Give it some space - work on something independently. Or do something you both normally don't do? Do something adventurous?
Give it some space - work on something independently. Or do something you both normally don't do? Do something adventurous?
LOL Oh Gem..you wild woman you.
I was thinking the same thing looking at your chart that your emotions might be overwhelming her. With the pisces and the cancer...there might be a lot going on with you and she just needs some space. Something obviously happened to turn her off. She might also be ready for you to try doing some man stuff in the relationship....
oh NI I feel bad! I always did that to my bf when in relationships, it is horrible, I consciously know that I am doing it, that my companion is getting pissed but I can't stop doing it.
It usually starts when I take some random thing as a personal attack, after that, any affection that you my show just makes me turn into a brick wall.
All I can tell you is that she doesn't love you less, she just need to wander off a bit. Just let her roam, don't impose herself, don't intrude on her, just let her be, push her to go out with friends without you. Before you know it she will be back completely mellow and sweet.
Try it
It usually starts when I take some random thing as a personal attack, after that, any affection that you my show just makes me turn into a brick wall.
All I can tell you is that she doesn't love you less, she just need to wander off a bit. Just let her roam, don't impose herself, don't intrude on her, just let her be, push her to go out with friends without you. Before you know it she will be back completely mellow and sweet.
Try it
Posted by aquaj
I'd say she's either distancing herself from you because she wants to break up, or the dopamine high infatuation stage is over and this is the type of girlfriend you're really going to get for the long-term. Yes, you don't know who you're truly dating until that first flush is over. And yes, it sucks. lol.
Well for me it was always up and down, I was for 4 years with my ex the sex drive never went away nor the passion, but every few months I would need one or two weeks doing my thing. We lived together so by the end of the day I would be back to him. Till today we are still best friends.
LOL
Rising Above Them A $ $ e $ , intended to be The Ma $ $ e $ -how to get dumped in less than 3 steps.
Guys like you never lasted more than a month with me. They start the unpredictability and just pull a spinning disappearing act with no end.
but hey, maybe it works with the less intelligent masses.
Rising Above Them A $ $ e $ , intended to be The Ma $ $ e $ -how to get dumped in less than 3 steps.
Guys like you never lasted more than a month with me. They start the unpredictability and just pull a spinning disappearing act with no end.
but hey, maybe it works with the less intelligent masses.
Posted by risingabovethemasses
LOL
Skyrocket, I never said one should be unpredictable or pull a spinning disappearing act with no end. This is especially true if you sincerely care about someone. I would never do that to someone I care about. As a matter of fact, I think being authentic, honest and transparent is the key to everything in life. So, I am not quiet sure as to where you have acquired that from anything I have mentioned in my previous post?
I think you said something like and I quote: "It usually starts when I take some random thing as a personal attack, after that, any affection that you my show just makes me turn into a brick wall." Maybe, you are taking what I have said previously as a personal attack? In any case, let's not make any assumptions or conclusions about every single sign... there is so much more to human beings than their sun sign.
Regards,
Rising
PS: no one is claiming that others are less intelligent here. Even trash collectors are important in my mind because without them there would be no one to pick up trash. So, everyone is important and counts as important enough in my world
well, this is the internet so it is hard to take anything personally (I don't know any of you lol)
1-if you care about someone you don't need games and that is it
2-the fact that some tauruses need their space to collect themselves doesn't mean they are being players, they are just figuring stuff out so they can bring the best of themselves back
3-profession does not correlate with intelligence in a mandatory form so I don't know what you were trying to go with your trash man comparison.
Hey guys, thanks for all the helpful advice!
The only thing I can think is that I guess it's just been me and her together for every single day for months straight, and she's taking this as me being clingy/needed. I just see it as really enjoying my time with her.
One thing that is funny though is now when I talk to my friends, they're all pissed for me ditching them for this girl. I totally got all caught-up with this beautiful dream girl of mine and forgot about real life I guess. I hoping she is just seeing this before me and is just going back to her real life, sacrificing our relationship with a hard stop, temporarily.
Anyway, I'm on day number 3 of having no contact with her. I'm just doing my own thing with friends and trying not to think about her.
It's just so weird though that she's doing this to me. Seriously, not even one single text/call or anything? I personally would never do this to someone, which I guess makes it hard for me to understand.
Beyond that, other thoughts I'm now starting to have are, "Is this girl right for me to have in my life anyway." She obviously isn't treating me the way I would like and I almost see it as some kind of game. I'm a real person that doesn't like to play games with people's feelings.
It'd kind of be nice if she would just tell me what's going on with her. I can take it, and it would just be nice to be told.
Anyway, thanks again everyone!
The only thing I can think is that I guess it's just been me and her together for every single day for months straight, and she's taking this as me being clingy/needed. I just see it as really enjoying my time with her.
One thing that is funny though is now when I talk to my friends, they're all pissed for me ditching them for this girl. I totally got all caught-up with this beautiful dream girl of mine and forgot about real life I guess. I hoping she is just seeing this before me and is just going back to her real life, sacrificing our relationship with a hard stop, temporarily.
Anyway, I'm on day number 3 of having no contact with her. I'm just doing my own thing with friends and trying not to think about her.
It's just so weird though that she's doing this to me. Seriously, not even one single text/call or anything? I personally would never do this to someone, which I guess makes it hard for me to understand.
Beyond that, other thoughts I'm now starting to have are, "Is this girl right for me to have in my life anyway." She obviously isn't treating me the way I would like and I almost see it as some kind of game. I'm a real person that doesn't like to play games with people's feelings.
It'd kind of be nice if she would just tell me what's going on with her. I can take it, and it would just be nice to be told.
Anyway, thanks again everyone!
Posted by NeedInput
Hey guys, thanks for all the helpful advice!
The only thing I can think is that I guess it's just been me and her together for every single day for months straight, and she's taking this as me being clingy/needed. I just see it as really enjoying my time with her.
One thing that is funny though is now when I talk to my friends, they're all pissed for me ditching them for this girl. I totally got all caught-up with this beautiful dream girl of mine and forgot about real life I guess. I hoping she is just seeing this before me and is just going back to her real life, sacrificing our relationship with a hard stop, temporarily.
Anyway, I'm on day number 3 of having no contact with her. I'm just doing my own thing with friends and trying not to think about her.
It's just so weird though that she's doing this to me. Seriously, not even one single text/call or anything? I personally would never do this to someone, which I guess makes it hard for me to understand.
Beyond that, other thoughts I'm now starting to have are, "Is this girl right for me to have in my life anyway." She obviously isn't treating me the way I would like and I almost see it as some kind of game. I'm a real person that doesn't like to play games with people's feelings.
It'd kind of be nice if she would just tell me what's going on with her. I can take it, and it would just be nice to be told.
Anyway, thanks again everyone!
Dear Pisces...you are correct in your thinking...find yourself a girl that is into you *completely*...the right one will not detach from your Pisces cling...she won't detach from affection...she will only want to make you happy and please you the right way...find yourself a sweet Pisces...where you can truly be *yourself* and not have to do the stepping back bullshit...my Pisces man does the cling and is super attentive...and I love it !!! It won't make me run away no matter if he has his days of needing to be reassured...cause you know us Pisces need this...I am a Pisces too...the right one will embrace *all* of you een on your off clingy/needy days ...whatever...she will love you no matter what...
*even
Posted by risingabovethemasses
It is a blessing in disguise to have a window into what it may possibly be like with this individual early on in the long run... so run my friend... run and count your blessings. Accept that these are some major red flags and there are plenty good, secure, loving, and nurturing sizzling souls out there waiting for you. I promise.
+1
As a Taurus woman, I would be happy in the type of relationship you described. Since it's still in the beginning stage, she may be taking time to reflect and analyze the relationship. But, if she's still around, she's still interested. I know personally I disappear sometimes to be by myself so I can think. We usually are very skeptical when it comes to love and relationships and will take our time to make a decision. Taurus woman love affection and attention, but sometimes when we get too much of it in the beginning, it makes us wonder if it's going to last or a front. We want to make sure because we love to love and will be loyal to the end. Hence the time it takes us to make a decision so we're not hurt. When we hurt, we hurt bad because we put our all into it. I would just give her time, it may or may not even be about you. I'm saying that because when you asked her if you two were ok, she said yes and kinda snapped about being clingy. I know I'm very blunt and honest when you ask me questions so if she says it's ok, it's ok. Just let her figure out whatever it is she's going through. She'll talk to you about it when she's ready. And when I am in one of those distant moods, I will snap sometimes because I feel bothered, not necessarily from a specific person, but whatever I'm trying to figure out by myself personally.
You said she was "like a guy" and approached you "like a guy". How many ladies on here complain about this same issue? LOTS. 75% of the threads started are about this issue. It's been 4 months and the "honeymoon" phase is wearing off.
You have 2 choices
1. You can appreciate the fact she's no longer "needy" and you can start hanging with the bros again
OR
2. You can complain about it and let your mind and insecurities control you until you leave her.
You have 2 choices
1. You can appreciate the fact she's no longer "needy" and you can start hanging with the bros again
OR
2. You can complain about it and let your mind and insecurities control you until you leave her.
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