Potential Reaction

I recently (6 or 7 weeks ago) started chatting online with a Taurus man. It has since gone offline to Whatsapp and although we have tried to meet up, because of different work and outside committment we haven't been able to meet yet. Anyways, over the course of our correspondence, the conversation has become sexual, which doesn't offend me. But I think he will definitely be expecting us to sleep together on first meet. I have kind of encouraged this idea, but I've changed my mind! We are both 34 so we aren't young kids. I want to communicate this to him, that I would still love for us to meet but without the sexual part straight away. Any predictions for what his response could be? Im guessing anger, silent treatment etc.

I do try but whatever I say always ends up become sexual! I think what i'll start to do is pull back a bit from correspondence, and if he notices enough to ask why then I could drop it into conversation then.

Posted by busyeyes88

Posted by Manana
I recently (6 or 7 weeks ago) started chatting online with a Taurus man. It has since gone offline to Whatsapp and although we have tried to meet up, because of different work and outside committment we haven't been able to meet yet. Anyways, over the course of our correspondence, the conversation has become sexual, which doesn't offend me. But I think he will definitely be expecting us to sleep together on first meet. I have kind of encouraged this idea, but I've changed my mind! We are both 34 so we aren't young kids. I want to communicate this to him, that I would still love for us to meet but without the sexual part straight away. Any predictions for what his response could be? Im guessing anger, silent treatment etc.

At the end of the day, his reactions do not matter... It's what you want for yourself that matters so I suggest you sway him of the sexual topic by asking him about himself and his interests and let him know what it is exactly that you are looking for and stick to your guns ie make your yes mean yes and your no mean no and be prepared to walk away if you and he are not singing from the same hymn sheet and he cannt offer you what you want!

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SHE'S BAAAAAAAACCCCKKK.
i'm revelling in the 'yes means yes and no means no'.

But i said yeah, now I want to say no........

if @busyeyes88 wrote a life coaching book i'd buy it. we need another 'the secret'.

Oh God, I have to do it...

Thanks Busyeyes

Posted by busyeyes88

Posted by LibWman

Posted by busyeyes88

Posted by Manana
I recently (6 or 7 weeks ago) started chatting online with a Taurus man. It has since gone offline to Whatsapp and although we have tried to meet up, because of different work and outside committment we haven't been able to meet yet. Anyways, over the course of our correspondence, the conversation has become sexual, which doesn't offend me. But I think he will definitely be expecting us to sleep together on first meet. I have kind of encouraged this idea, but I've changed my mind! We are both 34 so we aren't young kids. I want to communicate this to him, that I would still love for us to meet but without the sexual part straight away. Any predictions for what his response could be? Im guessing anger, silent treatment etc.

At the end of the day, his reactions do not matter... It's what you want for yourself that matters so I suggest you sway him of the sexual topic by asking him about himself and his interests and let him know what it is exactly that you are looking for and stick to your guns ie make your yes mean yes and your no mean no and be prepared to walk away if you and he are not singing from the same hymn sheet and he cannt offer you what you want!

SHE'S BAAAAAAAACCCCKKK.
i'm revelling in the 'yes means yes and no means no'.

Yes, got my new life and my bull sorted out now got some time on my hands to help others !! Lol

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You're beautiful.

Posted by busyeyes88

Posted by LibWman
if @busyeyes88 wrote a life coaching book i'd buy it. we need another 'the secret'.

You are funny!! Lol lol

I've been using this methods since age 21!! I have always got the men that I had my eyes set on!!

Women just need to understand that they are priceless diamonds, have faith in ones convictions and integrity and if a man cannot see that then he is not the man for you... Simple!!

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if you have some time can you write a little post about the core rules one should follow or top tips kinda thang.

I can say what I have to say, I understand integrity and "rules". I was just interested in what way this guy might react.

Absolutely, i have time! I won't do it today, I have to sleep on the right words!

You got to make that change.

And she's back... Right off the bat!

Nice one Busy ŠðŸ‘ðŸ¼

6/7 weeks and neither of you have met - doesn't sound like you're both 100% ready to start a relationship.

Maybe the sex thing has put you off a bit too.

I'd just tell him outright that sorry, you're happy to meet but not looking for sex. See what he says. If he still sets up a date to meet then meet and go home alone afterwards.

He sounds like a keyboard warrior to me. Even with sex on the offer (in his eyes) he's still not pinning you down!

I wonder why your conversations always turn toward sex - you said you were doing this ... perhaps you could try to understand that also - I agree with @bustyeyes too - you don't need a frustrated bull on your hands during your first lunch date - bucking and snorting to get out of the pants lol ... if he understands upfront what you want and he doesn't like it - well he's just not the one for you ... nice general interesting conversation is more appropriate than talking sex up front when trying to get to know someone - yuk!

Well, I can bring up any topic but slowly it turns into something sexual. I don't always encourage it, I just noticed that's what he generally does. I am sticking by plan to take a step back to gauge if his interest is genuine. Last time I did that he said "you went quiet" after I didn't contact him for 5 days.

p.s, "keyboard warrior"...i love that!!!

No, because I feel I will come across as aggressive or even worse, neurotic! I don't feel like it's something i can bring up randomly, that will seem like i'm sitting here worrying about when it all it really is, is a change of heart on my part. It WILL come up..soon!

Hell, im not weak!! I just like waiting for the right time. I already know he is going to explode over it, i can just feel it, I can't be dealing with that right now, i'm busy!

Posted by busyeyes88

Posted by Manana
No, because I feel I will come across as aggressive or even worse, neurotic! I don't feel like it's something i can bring up randomly, that will seem like i'm sitting here worrying about when it all it really is, is a change of heart on my part. It WILL come up..soon!

Fair enough.. Taurus can smell WEAKNESS. Good luck with getting what you want but you won't as you are 'gutless ' which is something Taurus also hates! They like Strong women who are not afraid to speak their minds...

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I would second that. Limited experience with Taurus but my Taurus fella of five months loves my strength and confidence, that I'm direct, I don't take shit and stand my ground.

OP, just be direct and take it somewhere or nowhere. Too much time has been spent fannying about. Don't worry about whether you do or don't want to fuck him. Don't worry he will think you're neurotic. He probably won't but if he does then so fucking what? Move onto a better match. On the other hand, he might like your direct approach and it may work in your favour. You gotta remember, there's a lot of women putting it on a plate out there. Perhaps he's not taken you up on your previous offer as he's looking for the woman who doesn't put out.

That's what my Taurus was looking for. Even another Taurus I had dated at the same time who wanted to get in my pants actually said he was pleased I'd not opened my legs. He was too slow though and it wasn't a match but the point is there.

The more I'm hearing, the more I can see that my mind is made up about changing the scenario. Wish he would in touch so that I can say what i need to say!

"Fannying about"..i fu*king know!

The actual conversation involved "keyboard ninja"..it's just happened. Oh God, now I need to wait for the backlash! All planetary suggestions for this week are that it's not going to be very pretty.

You haven't even met this fella. Try not to sweat it as he probably isn't!

Well, he said he wasn't mad, so for me that's a bonus. But he also made clear he wasn't looking for anything serious (even though i made clear I didn't expect anything to go from 0 to serious). Anyway, I think he's bummed to hear it al the same..who knows what will happen.

What is it you're looking for?

You need to be really clear with this first. If you're wishy washy and are not clear about what you want, be it a relationship, casual, FWB etc, then all you'll attract is wishy washy and unclear people. This will lead to more headaches for you. It doesn't matter what it is you want as long as you're clear.

If you want a relationship then you need to be looking for people who have also made up their mind that they want a relationship. You need to be fishing in the same pool. If you're fishing in a mixed up pool then you're going to encounter people who either don't know what they want or who want something different to you.

It's a bit like job hunting. If you're looking for a sales job you're not going to go into hair dressing and 'see how it goes' when it's not what you want. You already know the outcome from day one and it won't work.

He's not looking for anything serious. He wants to sleep around. If this is what you want then ok no problem. If this is not what you want then let him go and walk away.

Well, i made it clear on my profile that I was looking to date and not into casual hookups. His said he was looking for friends. But gradually, like I said, the conversations started taking a sexual turn more often than not. He knows now, that I'm not going to entertain anything purely sexual, even though I get the feeling he wants to sleep exclusively with me, not around. It's still not good enough. I've been honest and so has he.

I told him it was fine not to pursue anything if it isn't what he wants, but he said he has to meet me first before he decides if he wants to take it anywhere.

I know, it's just the way it worked out with work, family and other commitments that were already set up. Meet up might never happen now anyway.

Meh... Plenty more fish...

Exactly! Especially now he's resorting to one word answers and checking all day to see if i'm online...so boring. So glad he didn't get to use me like a McD's drive thru!