Posted by jeaneHow did that work out in the end?
my partner "wanted to see how things go". i didn't. i wanted a clear understanding of each other's expectations and needs. from there we could determine if we each wanted to continue.
Posted by ondaspshe said her partner, which means they are still together - discussion and clear expectationsPosted by jeaneHow did that work out in the end?
my partner "wanted to see how things go". i didn't. i wanted a clear understanding of each other's expectations and needs. from there we could determine if we each wanted to continue.click to expand
Posted by RooSagicornIt definitely did not feel like it was just about sex, there has been daily communication and a strong intellectual connection (which happens quite rarely to me!).
Also you’ve been dating 6 weeks at an average of seeing each other 1x a week & have had sex 4 times. That seems like a lot of sex for the slow speed of dating. How much of a connection is there or is it mostly about sex? Especially since you’re worried about exclusivity only with sex.
Posted by Arielle83Wrap it up as in ending it?
Why can’t u go with the flow and wrap it up?
Posted by ondaspPosted by jeaneHow did that work out in the end?
my partner "wanted to see how things go". i didn't. i wanted a clear understanding of each other's expectations and needs. from there we could determine if we each wanted to continue.click to expand
Posted by Arielle83Says who..? I wasn't aware of this universal rule!
Under 3 months there shouldn’t be a commitment.
Posted by RooSagicornWhat he said was "I am not sleeping with anyone else" and then "let's just see where this thing between us goes". But then he blamed his bedroom issues to that conversation..Posted by ondaspOk that’s understandable. But what you said here sounded like you were more worried about sex with others than dating others. Sounds like neither of you are dating others at the moment. So he isn’t seeing anyone else but wants to reserve the right to? Or wants to pursue this between you until he sees if he wants a relationship? I’m a little unclear. Just because one guys a jerk doesn’t make another jerk also.Posted by RooSagicornIt definitely did not feel like it was just about sex, there has been daily communication and a strong intellectual connection (which happens quite rarely to me!).
Also you’ve been dating 6 weeks at an average of seeing each other 1x a week & have had sex 4 times. That seems like a lot of sex for the slow speed of dating. How much of a connection is there or is it mostly about sex? Especially since you’re worried about exclusivity only with sex.
I was worried about exclusivity with sex because in the past I dated a guy for 3 months, just to find out he was sleeping with 2 other women in the meantime. That was pretty hurting. I never want to find myself in that situation again, hence my need to bring the conversation up and make it clear that I don't feel comfortable with multiple dating.
But that’s why I wait to have sex until I’m comfortable with what the situation is.click to expand
Posted by Arielle83Lol this has nothing to do with "my kitty". And I'd like to think that a man wants to spend time with me for more reasons than just my "kitty", and equally I don't date a man just because of his penis..?Posted by ondaspIn other words, you’re moving too fast.Posted by Arielle83
Under 3 months there shouldn’t be a commitment.
Says who..? I wasn't aware of this universal rule!
I wasn’t aware u needed to be exclusive after 6 weeks.
It’s called dating. You try ppl on and learn about them to see who fits. You’re putting it all in one basket and then getting upset when u realise the guy was dating other ppl. If you get attached through sex, then hold back and see who really does fit before u bring ur kitty into the game and expect his unwrapped divk to just invade u.
Sounds like you need to lock down the d game too quick. When men don’t do that. Why would he just be with u when he can get it from others as well?
You gotta wonder what u bring to the table. Every woman has a kitty. Hold back a bit if sex makes u need to lock it downclick to expand
Posted by ondaspPosted by Arielle83Lol this has nothing to do with "my kitty". And I'd like to think that a man wants to spend time with me for more reasons than just my "kitty", and equally I don't date a man just because of his penis..?Posted by ondaspIn other words, you’re moving too fast.Posted by Arielle83
Under 3 months there shouldn’t be a commitment.
Says who..? I wasn't aware of this universal rule!
I wasn’t aware u needed to be exclusive after 6 weeks.
It’s called dating. You try ppl on and learn about them to see who fits. You’re putting it all in one basket and then getting upset when u realise the guy was dating other ppl. If you get attached through sex, then hold back and see who really does fit before u bring ur kitty into the game and expect his unwrapped divk to just invade u.
Sounds like you need to lock down the d game too quick. When men don’t do that. Why would he just be with u when he can get it from others as well?
You gotta wonder what u bring to the table. Every woman has a kitty. Hold back a bit if sex makes u need to lock it down
I just don't want to date someone who is simultaneously dating other people. I like to focus on one person at a time to give it a proper chance, and then if it does not work we move on. I expect the same treatment. I appreciate this is not everyone's view, but that is what I am comfortable with.click to expand
Posted by Boots1313Hi, thank you for your comment. I should clarify that he knew I was going to leave and not spend the night as his, because I had to work the next morning so I needed to sleep at home. The same happened the previous time we slept together and I explained to him why I could not spend the night at his and everything was absolutely fine. So leaving "in the middle of the night" was fine per se, just the way I did it was a bit awkward I think.
Hey girl, I'm a Taurus female dating a Taurus man, and I would say I "rushed" My guy, I have to say for us it worked out.
Here's what I think happened in this situation...you were not being clear!
Most Taurus men I know want a relationship, they take it slow but if they are giving you time, they are interested. You need to chill out (as people know here, I don't always do that lol)
Mistake 1) you made it seem like you were just interested in sex with him...that was probably a red flag to him. You didn't make it seem like you were interested in a relationship so his response of "let's see where it goes" was him responding to you're disinterest.
Mistake 2) you left. In the middle of the night?! Da faq...you even said you were cuddled in his arms and left?
Wow I would feel so rejected and hurt after that.
Posted by ondaspPosted by Boots1313Hi, thank you for your comment. I should clarify that he knew I was going to leave and not spend the night as his, because I had to work the next morning so I needed to sleep at home. The same happened the previous time we slept together and I explained to him why I could not spend the night at his and everything was absolutely fine. So leaving "in the middle of the night" was fine per se, just the way I did it was a bit awkward I think.
Hey girl, I'm a Taurus female dating a Taurus man, and I would say I "rushed" My guy, I have to say for us it worked out.
Here's what I think happened in this situation...you were not being clear!
Most Taurus men I know want a relationship, they take it slow but if they are giving you time, they are interested. You need to chill out (as people know here, I don't always do that lol)
Mistake 1) you made it seem like you were just interested in sex with him...that was probably a red flag to him. You didn't make it seem like you were interested in a relationship so his response of "let's see where it goes" was him responding to you're disinterest.
Mistake 2) you left. In the middle of the night?! Da faq...you even said you were cuddled in his arms and left?
Wow I would feel so rejected and hurt after that.click to expand
Posted by ondaspThis is NOT what you indicate in your first post. "when in fact I just wanted to be reassured that I am not one of many girls in his roster." And there is nothing wrong with what you want, but you can't sit there and pretend and tell him what you think he wants to hear to keep him.
I just don't want to date someone who is simultaneously dating other people. I like to focus on one person at a time to give it a proper chance, and then if it does not work we move on. I expect the same treatment. I appreciate this is not everyone's view, but that is what I am comfortable with.
Posted by Pandora101Hi, thank you for your kind words. You made me feel a bit better! I am feeling a bit sorry for myself today..
OP, what are his other planets?
dont overthink it, you both said you are not dating/sleeping with anybody else, so why the panic? you asked if he is sleeping with anybody else, he said no.... why his answer to your strait question freaks you out?
let him come to you
everything is fine if you stay calm and dont overreact
dont start the panic
if he is put off by that conversation and will not reach out, you will know what to think..... but its only 2 days, so chill
Posted by Superman77Posted by jeaneThat’s what I got from it as wellPosted by ondaspPosted by Arielle83Lol this has nothing to do with "my kitty". And I'd like to think that a man wants to spend time with me for more reasons than just my "kitty", and equally I don't date a man just because of his penis..?Posted by ondaspIn other words, you’re moving too fast.Posted by Arielle83
Under 3 months there shouldn’t be a commitment.
Says who..? I wasn't aware of this universal rule!
I wasn’t aware u needed to be exclusive after 6 weeks.
It’s called dating. You try ppl on and learn about them to see who fits. You’re putting it all in one basket and then getting upset when u realise the guy was dating other ppl. If you get attached through sex, then hold back and see who really does fit before u bring ur kitty into the game and expect his unwrapped divk to just invade u.
Sounds like you need to lock down the d game too quick. When men don’t do that. Why would he just be with u when he can get it from others as well?
You gotta wonder what u bring to the table. Every woman has a kitty. Hold back a bit if sex makes u need to lock it down
I just don't want to date someone who is simultaneously dating other people. I like to focus on one person at a time to give it a proper chance, and then if it does not work we move on. I expect the same treatment. I appreciate this is not everyone's view, but that is what I am comfortable with.
i could be completely old fashioned here but to me that sounds like you want to be in an exclusive relationship? i'm not saying that's what you shouldn't want but it seems like you are dancing around admitting it to yourself?click to expand
Posted by WaterbearerwearerI see this a lot....especially on the taurus board....the women in relationships with bulls seem somewhat fearful, intimidated, too worried to lose them....then they don't speak up directly, often times when the dude really does seem to need to correct his behavior....I think its a recipe for becoming a doormat and this is really bad for bulls...they may even like that or indulge it on some level, as I think most have a domineering side, but will ultimately respect you more if you're strong/direct about your needs....
So much fear based appeasing. “If I tell him my boundaries he won’t like me” mentality
Posted by wildflowerAbsolutely, my comment about getting tested and going condom-free was about a potential distant future, not right now or anytime soon!
I've been there before, the energy shift from a Taurus is strong sometimes even when they don't say a word, you can sense it. You shouldn't have to feel wrong for not feeling comfortable in him having multiple partners when you prefer exclusivity.
The way you went about it could've been better but at the end of the day, if he is only with you and only wants to be with you then he wouldn't have been bothered by the comment. It would be a given. To me, signs of discomfort or awkwardness at the topic of exclusivity is either he is not there yet or there is someone else.
Perhaps he is not there yet, so it would be a good time for communication and clarity. Even if he has issues with a condom, protect yourself FIRST. You should both be on the same page in terms of exclusivity before you start offering to go raw, forget the guy, you can expose yourself to STDs if you don't protect yourself. If he has "issues" with condoms with you, he has "issues" with condoms with someone else. Protect yourself first.
If you can't even have a conversation about exclusivity, he shouldn't tap it and not wrap it, imo.
Posted by MetatronSTFUPosted by WaterbearerwearerI see this a lot....especially on the taurus board....the women in relationships with bulls seem somewhat fearful, intimidated, too worried to lose them....then they don't speak up directly, often times when the dude really does seem to need to correct his behavior....I think its a recipe for becoming a doormat and this is really bad for bulls...they may even like that or indulge it on some level, as I think most have a domineering side, but will ultimately respect you more if you're strong/direct about your needs....
So much fear based appeasing. “If I tell him my boundaries he won’t like me” mentalityclick to expand
Posted by nikkistarwhaaaa?Posted by MetatronSTFUPosted by WaterbearerwearerI see this a lot....especially on the taurus board....the women in relationships with bulls seem somewhat fearful, intimidated, too worried to lose them....then they don't speak up directly, often times when the dude really does seem to need to correct his behavior....I think its a recipe for becoming a doormat and this is really bad for bulls...they may even like that or indulge it on some level, as I think most have a domineering side, but will ultimately respect you more if you're strong/direct about your needs....
So much fear based appeasing. “If I tell him my boundaries he won’t like me” mentalityclick to expand
Posted by wildflowergreat advice....especially around protection...
I've been there before, the energy shift from a Taurus is strong sometimes even when they don't say a word, you can sense it. You shouldn't have to feel wrong for not feeling comfortable in him having multiple partners when you prefer exclusivity.
The way you went about it could've been better but at the end of the day, if he is only with you and only wants to be with you then he wouldn't have been bothered by the comment. It would be a given. To me, signs of discomfort or awkwardness at the topic of exclusivity is either he is not there yet or there is someone else.
Perhaps he is not there yet, so it would be a good time for communication and clarity. Even if he has issues with a condom, protect yourself FIRST. You should both be on the same page in terms of exclusivity before you start offering to go raw, forget the guy, you can expose yourself to STDs if you don't protect yourself. If he has "issues" with condoms with you, he has "issues" with condoms with someone else. Protect yourself first.
If you can't even have a conversation about exclusivity, he shouldn't tap it and not wrap it, imo.
Posted by Metatron"but will ultimately respect you more if you're strong/direct about your needs.... "Posted by nikkistarwhaaaa?Posted by MetatronSTFUPosted by WaterbearerwearerI see this a lot....especially on the taurus board....the women in relationships with bulls seem somewhat fearful, intimidated, too worried to lose them....then they don't speak up directly, often times when the dude really does seem to need to correct his behavior....I think its a recipe for becoming a doormat and this is really bad for bulls...they may even like that or indulge it on some level, as I think most have a domineering side, but will ultimately respect you more if you're strong/direct about your needs....
So much fear based appeasing. “If I tell him my boundaries he won’t like me” mentalityclick to expand
Posted by nikkistarmaybe a little less strong/direct than that....Posted by Metatron"but will ultimately respect you more if you're strong/direct about your needs.... "Posted by nikkistarwhaaaa?Posted by MetatronSTFUPosted by WaterbearerwearerI see this a lot....especially on the taurus board....the women in relationships with bulls seem somewhat fearful, intimidated, too worried to lose them....then they don't speak up directly, often times when the dude really does seem to need to correct his behavior....I think its a recipe for becoming a doormat and this is really bad for bulls...they may even like that or indulge it on some level, as I think most have a domineering side, but will ultimately respect you more if you're strong/direct about your needs....
So much fear based appeasing. “If I tell him my boundaries he won’t like me” mentality
I was being ironic. LOLclick to expand
Posted by MetatronThe bull dude that was in love with me, I seriously think he is a sadomasochist. I would verbally abuse the SHIT out of him constantly. He would constantly be like "yea, talk dirty to me bb". No matter how troll I got, he thought it was cute.Posted by nikkistarmaybe a little less strong/direct than that....Posted by Metatron"but will ultimately respect you more if you're strong/direct about your needs.... "Posted by nikkistarwhaaaa?Posted by MetatronSTFUPosted by WaterbearerwearerI see this a lot....especially on the taurus board....the women in relationships with bulls seem somewhat fearful, intimidated, too worried to lose them....then they don't speak up directly, often times when the dude really does seem to need to correct his behavior....I think its a recipe for becoming a doormat and this is really bad for bulls...they may even like that or indulge it on some level, as I think most have a domineering side, but will ultimately respect you more if you're strong/direct about your needs....
So much fear based appeasing. “If I tell him my boundaries he won’t like me” mentality
I was being ironic. LOL
actually, no, I kinda like that lmao....click to expand
Posted by nikkistarwe just know you're sweet and harmless beneath all that tough exterior and aggression....Posted by MetatronThe bull dude that was in love with me, I seriously think he is a sadomasochist. I would verbally abuse the SHIT out of him constantly. He would constantly be like "yea, talk dirty to me bb". No matter how troll I got, he thought it was cute.Posted by nikkistarmaybe a little less strong/direct than that....Posted by Metatron"but will ultimately respect you more if you're strong/direct about your needs.... "Posted by nikkistarwhaaaa?Posted by MetatronSTFUPosted by WaterbearerwearerI see this a lot....especially on the taurus board....the women in relationships with bulls seem somewhat fearful, intimidated, too worried to lose them....then they don't speak up directly, often times when the dude really does seem to need to correct his behavior....I think its a recipe for becoming a doormat and this is really bad for bulls...they may even like that or indulge it on some level, as I think most have a domineering side, but will ultimately respect you more if you're strong/direct about your needs....
So much fear based appeasing. “If I tell him my boundaries he won’t like me” mentality
I was being ironic. LOL
actually, no, I kinda like that lmao....
Weirdos. lolclick to expand
Posted by Metatron"harmless"Posted by nikkistarwe just know you're sweet and harmless beneath all that tough exterior and aggression....Posted by MetatronThe bull dude that was in love with me, I seriously think he is a sadomasochist. I would verbally abuse the SHIT out of him constantly. He would constantly be like "yea, talk dirty to me bb". No matter how troll I got, he thought it was cute.Posted by nikkistarmaybe a little less strong/direct than that....Posted by Metatron"but will ultimately respect you more if you're strong/direct about your needs.... "Posted by nikkistarwhaaaa?Posted by MetatronSTFUPosted by WaterbearerwearerI see this a lot....especially on the taurus board....the women in relationships with bulls seem somewhat fearful, intimidated, too worried to lose them....then they don't speak up directly, often times when the dude really does seem to need to correct his behavior....I think its a recipe for becoming a doormat and this is really bad for bulls...they may even like that or indulge it on some level, as I think most have a domineering side, but will ultimately respect you more if you're strong/direct about your needs....
So much fear based appeasing. “If I tell him my boundaries he won’t like me” mentality
I was being ironic. LOL
actually, no, I kinda like that lmao....
Weirdos. lolclick to expand
Posted by Waterbearerweareryes to all this....and yeah its pretty gross out there...Posted by MetatronMy experience with Bulls is that they respect you so much more when you’re direct.Posted by WaterbearerwearerI see this a lot....especially on the taurus board....the women in relationships with bulls seem somewhat fearful, intimidated, too worried to lose them....then they don't speak up directly, often times when the dude really does seem to need to correct his behavior....I think its a recipe for becoming a doormat and this is really bad for bulls...they may even like that or indulge it on some level, as I think most have a domineering side, but will ultimately respect you more if you're strong/direct about your needs....
So much fear based appeasing. “If I tell him my boundaries he won’t like me” mentality
They prefer linear communication and my ex April Bull was the staunchest/loyal af bad boy Iver ever encountered with heaps of earth in his chart and he applauded any women who spoke up and out with poise and sophistication.
Not many keeping it classy these days it’s bizaare.click to expand
Posted by ondaspFirstly, I think you need to be clear with exactly what it is that YOU want. Either from life in general right now and also from this fella.
Hi all, I am feeling a bit down and I'd love some perspective on the situation I am currently dealing with.
I met this Taurus sun/ Taurus rising 6 weeks ago. We had 6 dates, all went really well, loads of chemistry and laughter. We slept together 3 times. Plenty of daily texting in between dates, which he mostly initiated. I thought he was really keen on me. I am also Taurus sun, but my Scorpio moon and Gemini rising make me an unusual Taurus I think.
Yesterday we had a great 6th date, we stayed out for drinks and we had a lovely time. He kept hinting at things to do together in the future (like watching a theater play). We went back to his and then I playfully approached the subject of sleeping with other people, as I felt that after sleeping together 3 times (today was the third time) I did not feel comfortable with the possibility of him sleeping with other women, while he was sleeping with me regularly. He also has issues with condoms, so I said if he gets tested we could consider going condom-free, since I am on the pill.
I made it quite clear that I was not asking about relationship exclusivity, just sex exclusivity. Also, I raised the subject partially because I was tipsy, the conversation definitely wasn't planned.
He said he was not sleeping with anyone else and that he thought we should see "where this thing between us goes". Then he initiated sex again, just to lose an erection as soon as he put the condom on. He then blamed the conversation about sex we just had, as he said it was "playing on his mind". Then he said he wanted me to sleep over and just cuddle.
I woke up at 2am in his bed (and in his arms) and got dressed and left (I need to go to work tomorrow). We said goodbye but it felt really awkward and I somehow had the impression that the conversation ruined everything between us.
To be honest, I don't like the way this exchange made me feel and I don't think this bodes well for the future. I don't think that asking whether he is sleeping with other people 6 weeks in is an outrageous thing to do? I know Tauruses move slowly, and I think he might feel like I was trying to push him into a relationship, when in fact I just wanted to be reassured that I am not one of many girls in his roster.
Should I think that he just isn't that into me? This happened the night before yesterday, and I haven't heard from him ever since.