Refocusing

This topic was created in the Taurus forum by Honeybunniie on Thursday, January 8, 2015 and has 12 replies.
Hey my fellow taureans!
So I am in the process of letting go of someone I care for. What are some ways yall refocus on yourself or what do you do get over a person?
I usually travel or exercise but this time is a hard one for me.
Kind of depends though, is he/she a friend, your SO, your ex? How bad is the damage?
In my opinion, you should focus on yourself and the ones who genuinely care about you. Go out with your friends, spend some alone time, spend time with your family and just keep yourself busy.
Posted by Honeybunniie
Hey my fellow taureans!
So I am in the process of letting go of someone I care for. What are some ways yall refocus on yourself or what do you do get over a person?
I usually travel or exercise but this time is a hard one for me.

Honestly, I don't think you'll ever forget that person. They'll always have a piece of your heart. At least that's how I've felt when I had to let someone I cared for go. It physically hurt to let them go but at the same time I knew it was good for me. You have to make a choice, you or them. For your sanity, you need to move forward and it's not going to be easy.
My suggestion is work on improving yourself and living your life. Set an hour aside, sit down with a cup of tea and write down what you want to accomplish in your life and a make sure to write a few things that seem almost impossible to accomplish on that list. From that list, decide what you can do this year to make those goals a reality. Also if you can redecorate your surroundings and make subtle changes to your wardrobe and hair. This seems like a lot but I personal belief is if you have your brain focus on something else, you'll have less room to think about this person. Hopefully if all goes well by the time you come face to face with this person again, you will somewhat succeed in changing your life so much that they no longer seem to fit anywhere, get you closer to someone new, give you a new perspective, or help release this person's hold on you. I think I read somewhere that when we break up with someone it's feels like a death to our brain because this person is no longer around to provide pleasure.

1. get the hell out of their physical space to where you can't see them, read them, hear them, smell them if possible. I find, though it is hard for us to move on, we are so sensual, and someone's complete physical absence really helps us to get over it. Don't do the friend thing.
2. work out, get in shape, build self-confidence. This has been key to my getting over someone. It is so good for boosting mood and self-esteem, empowering you - especially given how vain we Venusians can be.
3. if all else fails, find a worthy rebound to re-focus on. I've always been against this, but in my later years, I find it kinda works. Does anyone really heal anyway? Or do they just forget with time and distraction?
Oh, also you could meditate, seek God through various spiritual practices, work on your issues, etc.
Most people don't have the patience for that though.
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio

1. get the hell out of their physical space to where you can't see them, read them, hear them, smell them if possible. I find, though it is hard for us to move on, we are so sensual, and someone's complete physical absence really helps us to get over it. Don't do the friend thing.


This one has always been the most important in my "forgetting" processes. Just going somewhere where you couldn't possibly even run into them. Sure it's all in the mind and all but it helps so much to physically distance yourself.
I just commented on another post about getting some distance from the person. It really does help significantly. That is physically, texts, email etc. The less communication the better. Or certainly longer periods between seeing or communicating with them. For me, the silence or distance helps keep things in perspective, helps regulate emotions, keeps a clear head. If that person is in your face every day or you're waiting for them to respond back to emails, calls or texts then it can feel like a constant roller coaster. A few weeks of nothing helps you feel better and after a few weeks it's easier to just keep going but you have to be disciplined and not reach out.
If agree with the work out thing. Bodies and minds can always be improved. Also shedding the extra 10lbs helps!!
Funnily enough I think a rebound thing can work or a one nighter. It does take your mind and refocus elsewhere. Just ensure you see it for what it is. I don't think people ever heal regardless of the amount of time you give yourself. What I would say is try not to bring past issues into anything new you start. You may think you're fine but those issues do creep in so give yourself some breathing space and then when you find someone new you might have a better chance.
All the above is applied to me right now so it's a 'note to self' too!
I'm also going through something similar and indeed, letting go of someone you really care about is really, really hard,
probably a taurus thing?
chatted with someone here in dxpnet who gave me lots of encouragement and support to let go of this friend of mine.
since then I've been trying my best to move on and forget about this person.
it's been a few months but with each passing day things do get slightly easier. slowly but surely.
things I've done / been doing:
1) unfriended the person from FB (painful. took me lots of courage and time to do it but I think its necessary). out of sight, out of mind
2) go NC. no texting whatsoever. no initiation of contact from me to that person.
3) focusing on my career, getting busy with projects etc
4) focusing on a hobby (can be a video game/a book/whatever that takes the attention from this person)
5) hanging out with friends/loved ones and tell myself I too can by happy without this person in life
I agree with VenusStar, that we probably can't forget this person completely. at least for a good while.
i don't think letting go quickly is something easy for us Taurus Sad
Letting go is the hardest.. I even get sick cause I stress when I shouldn't be. So when I do stress then maybe switch to chill music, a glass of wine, maybe bake something, and a few classes to better yourself..it's ok to be single after devastation...
Thanks guys for ur suggestions n advice! I will soak it in.
Posted by Geminlove
Kind of depends though, is he/she a friend, your SO, your ex? How bad is the damage?
In my opinion, you should focus on yourself and the ones who genuinely care about you. Go out with your friends, spend some alone time, spend time with your family and just keep yourself busy.


He is all sweet and attentive but the damage is pretty bad. He would be all sweet then disappear and I recently see he is talking to other girls on FB.(calling them his girl) When I confront him, he would try to convince me that it's all for fun and that he never met any of them and that I'm the only one he made love to... Blah blah... I'm not tolerating that so I broke it off.
what's his sign Honeybunniie?
Scorpio