stay or move on?

This topic was created in the Taurus forum by lisa12345 on Thursday, October 25, 2012 and has 27 replies.
I am a Taurus woman, I recently met a Taurus man on a dating site. He sounds good and we have three times dates already in two weeks. We had sex at the 2nd date, I told him that I love him at the 3rd date which is a big mistake made to a Taurus man, he said he do like me a lot and like to spend time with me, but he is not that fast in love with me yet, I was a bit disappointed.
His text is reduced since I told him that I love him, from 200 texts/day down to 8 texts/day so far. He is still seeing me, but I am not sure that he has already lost interest on me or I am losing him, as the texts and responses are hugely reduced.
I heard Taurus men once had sex at the very early state, they would lose their interest to chase. What should I do?
Love him on the 3rd date!! What in the hell?
I did, this is me.
That was the true feeling I had at that stage, I have been honest as I am a Taurus woman : (, please give me some advice on what I should do next?
You are moving waaaay too fast. "I love you" on the 3rd date sounds insincere.
Just because you said it, doesn't mean he has to say it or feel it.
You don't have to say whatever comes to your mind.
No mention of love from now on until you have actually gotten to know him better.
You're doing good with 8 texts a day. 200 was too much anyway, I think the sex cooled that down.
Hopefully he's not using you for sex. Good luck
Thank you LunarMaiden! I am hold back now. We are in a long distance relationship (1.5 hours drive each way), text is really important communication for us (my opinion only). how can I find out he is using me for sex only? and he is not initiates text me now, do I have to send the first text every day (he always reply)?
Thank you BullGem! do you think I should stay or just move on, i don't want to get more hurt in the future : (
Posted by BullGem
Leave...in some cases it's not even worth the heartache.
But if you have genuine feelings for him, then stay and slow things down.


Thank you! I will slow things down as I find that i am very emotional and I don't like it. Do you think I should always wait him to contact me first? at the moment, most of time I send the first text every time. : (
We did have great time when we were together, but I feel insecure when I back on my own.
Ahahaha, you're in the same boat as me now regarding distance!!
I didn't give up anything yet and we have had 4 dates so far.
What you did was hit him with a baseball bat in his face when you said 'I LOVE YOU' on the third date. Who does that? Seriously if you fall in love that fast, you're not to be trusted in his opinion. You're rushing everything and you need to learn how to pace yourself. When it's good you'll know you need to take it in, instead of trying to get him to marry you next week.
So slow the hell down and curb your orgasm need please. You won't sleep with him again until you reconnected like you did before. He needs to open up to you slowly, warming up to the idea of you. In his head you are nothing yet, an uncertain piece of the puzzle 'where do I place this one'. Try to make yourself attractive again like you did before, but without the needy aspects of 'we slept together, does that not mean anything?'.
I hit my own face when I read you slept with him on the second date, and the "I love you" on the third. If someone random came up to you and did that, how would you react? You'd laugh and become very uncomfortable no? There's no weight behind those words yet, you barely have any history and he needs to know a lot more before he'll ever consider saying it back. You spooked him away but not gone yet.
Better follow the advice you get here to the T, if you want him back.
this things I am going to do is no sex in the future dates until we know each other better, is this ok?
Thank you for all your replies! I do feel awful and want to get things back to the right track. I hope I haven't lost him yet.
Personally, I don't think having sex on a second date is that big of a deal. I know... that sounds bad... but we really don't know anything about THIS situation. For example... if two people have both been living their lives alone for some time, who cares what they do when they meet. When one or the other 'just' got out of a relationship, there could be problems, because one is not really ready. What is the case here ?
Now... 'I LOVE YOU' on the other hand... on your 3rd meeting ??? This screams out NEEDY !!! THIS is the reason for his retreat. To fix this, I think that you are going to have to stand in the corner... by skipping a weekend. He is still writing to you... so he IS still interested. My thinking is... is that it is too late for you to hold out on sex now... if anyone held out on me after the first few times, I would see it as a premonition of future things to come. Who wants to be in a sexless relationship ? Not I. By skipping a weekend... neither of your are tempted... and he might place less weight on the bad words that you said... which proof would be in his sending you just a few more sms'. After that, love him if that is what you feel... but silently.
Oh ! And don't bring it up to him again... don't apologize... forget you said it. You don't need to address it in any way ! To 'talk' about it again would create another awkward moment for him AND you. Now... go back and stand in the corner like I told you !
Winking
Posted by David13
Oh ! And don't bring it up to him again... don't apologize... forget you said it. You don't need to address it in any way ! To 'talk' about it again would create another awkward moment for him AND you. Now... go back and stand in the corner like I told you !
Winking


Thank you David13!
Posted by David13
Personally, I don't think having sex on a second date is that big of a deal. I know... that sounds bad... but we really don't know anything about THIS situation. For example... if two people have both been living their lives alone for some time, who cares what they do when they meet. When one or the other 'just' got out of a relationship, there could be problems, because one is not really ready. What is the case here ?



We both divorced and both been single for a while, we had such great time together and we both enjoyed each other's company. I do agree with you that the word ' I love you' made him retreat, he told me that he is sure about me and wish spend more time with me. so skip a weekend would help? thank you!
Posted by David13
Oh ! And don't bring it up to him again... don't apologize... forget you said it. You don't need to address it in any way ! To 'talk' about it again would create another awkward moment for him AND you. Now... go back and stand in the corner like I told you !
Winking


Don't you just love how bossy he gets, and how we actually listen? Big Grin
You had SEX on the 2nd DATE ?? ... IF you do that with ANY guy ... you're pretty much out of the picture. Don't expect any call backs.
Posted by CrabTwinsFish
You had SEX on the 2nd DATE ?? ... IF you do that with ANY guy ... you're pretty much out of the picture. Don't expect any call backs.


Aww, I wouldnt say that is true. I know an Aries who had sex the first night, turned it into a healthy relationship, then a marriage two years later.
I think if its something that feels right at the time then do it, but with no regrets. I think thats what mess it up, and I bet the guy picks up on it. And once the regrets and analyzing comes in, emotions are soon to follow. I wouldnt doubt if that probably puts a damper on the situation.
Posted by harry99
Goodluck hon *hugs* oh & remember to never regret or be ashamed of your feelings, especially not love, after all it is sooo rare.


Thank you harry99! I don't have the 'love' feeling for years, it's so rare to me. I don't know how long takes people here to fall in love, my 2nd date were two days together, 3rd dates were 3 nights together, we both loved the time we spend together. I will take your advice, wait his text first, and step back a little as well! Thank you! : )
4th date this weekend (2 days). Once again we had great time, we love spending time with each other, he didn't want to go back the next day lol. but he still think things go too fast, he wants things happen naturally ...
This time he told me that he miss me, I didn't say anything back....I also didn't say 'I love you' , not easy for me ...lol
I have made another big mistake last night : (
BullGem, I hear you. Its weird, i wouldnt trust someone if they said it too soon either...I'm a Taurus and a few times i felt it and said it before the 3 month mark. Maybe its my Gem moon but I've also realised it may have been infatuation because as the relationship runs its course, the feeling is not as intense. Still learning about the matters of the heart I guess. The times ive said it early, I couldnt help/control it..must be infatuation...getting swept up in the moment.
Leave. I swear, don't people realize that when you have to ask someone else's opinion on whether you should leave or stay with a man you "love" that the feelings probably are only shallow deep. If I loved a man so deeply to use the L word, no ones opinion would ever matter. I realize this is my own way of conducting my feelings and don't mean to discredit OP's feelings. But seriously, reassess what "love" is and understand what limerence is (aka infatuation).
Posted by SeeingRed
Leave. I swear, don't people realize that when you have to ask someone else's opinion on whether you should leave or stay with a man you "love" that the feelings probably are only shallow deep. If I loved a man so deeply to use the L word, no ones opinion would ever matter. I realize this is my own way of conducting my feelings and don't mean to discredit OP's feelings. But seriously, reassess what "love" is and understand what limerence is (aka infatuation).


Limerence...learnt a new word...captures the false feeling of love precisely
Posted by SeeingRed
Leave. I swear, don't people realize that when you have to ask someone else's opinion on whether you should leave or stay with a man you "love" that the feelings probably are only shallow deep. If I loved a man so deeply to use the L word, no ones opinion would ever matter. I realize this is my own way of conducting my feelings and don't mean to discredit OP's feelings. But seriously, reassess what "love" is and understand what limerence is (aka infatuation).


Thank you for your reply : )
I should update the situation earlier, he said he loves me too, three weeks after I said "I love you". : )
Once again, I am here to thanks for all your reply! I do appreciated. : )