Taureans..need your honest input on my Taurus
This topic was created in the Taurus forum by Lovefortaurus24 on Monday, September 5, 2011 and has 76 replies.
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I've known him for more than a year now....pursued me, was affectionate, attentive as always..and that is how we are when we are together...no fights about anything......just comfortable and affectionate towards each other....he would disappear on and off...he would reappear...disappear and then reapearred.....and every time we would see each other after a long absence, it's all great... we'd talk..he'd explained he has a lot on his mind etc....initially..i would contact him at times although he would also initiate at times......and he would always be grateful and say thank you for seeing me and i'm so happy to see you.....i feel his love when he kisses me and touches me.......on the third instance that I did not hear from him about 2 months ago...I finally decided to just let it go...really liked him but it was just too much push and pull.....this time...i gathered enough will and strenght not to reach him in any way...even avoided places i might bump into him....he called recently...i told him i cant talk as I was at work...called him after work and told him ..i want to see him and have coffee...so we went and sat and talked like old times..he said he needed to talk to me...and proceeded that he has a son, had financial problems to a point that he was about to lose his house at one point, his investments didn't do well....he said he is sorry but he said that life is short...he disappeared because of his issues and not because of me...he said "i love you" and that if i can accept him he wants to start all over...in my heart, i know i love him and he had always been special....and everything in me wants to say "yes" but at the same time I am SCARED because i just don't want to go through the pain again...told him too how i he hurt me and i didn't deserve how i felt and that i was in a bad place but now i am ok and just don't want to go through all that again.....Please let me know your thoughts ASAP please...I will be seeing him soon....Thank you.
All of his reasons for disappearing are "excuses" although I do feel there is truth in his excuses all of them are really LAME reasons why he's appearing and reappearing.
Unfortunately for you you've allowed a pattern/habit to seep into the dynamic of your relationship by accepting him back each time he disappeared and reappeared which says I'm okay with you behaving this way. There is no way he can know you are not okay with his Whodini act, every time he came back you took him in with open arms, had you nipped it in the bud the first time he pulled the disappearing act you'd probably been out this relationship a long time ago but b/c there were no consequences for his disappearing and reappearing he took it all for granted that it was okay for him to just leave without much effort to stay in your life.
Of course you can take a chance and try again but if I were you I would definitely make it clear that if he disappears again he can stay gone for good because honestly you can't have something real with a man that isn't consistently present in your life.
I feel so many women fail when it comes how to deal with the in and out behavior because she's not prepared to deal with it and so many women deal with it by sticking her head in the sand, ignore the behavior and instead choose to be super polite and nice hoping it won't happen again, at some point a woman has to dig deep inside and figure out her own value and worth and raise her standards. You can walk away for good or you can give it one last chance and set up a clause that if he leaves then there is no getting back together again ever and STAND BY IT, it's completely up to you.
Unfortunately for you you've allowed a pattern/habit to seep into the dynamic of your relationship by accepting him back each time he disappeared and reappeared which says I'm okay with you behaving this way. There is no way he can know you are not okay with his Whodini act, every time he came back you took him in with open arms, had you nipped it in the bud the first time he pulled the disappearing act you'd probably been out this relationship a long time ago but b/c there were no consequences for his disappearing and reappearing he took it all for granted that it was okay for him to just leave without much effort to stay in your life.
Of course you can take a chance and try again but if I were you I would definitely make it clear that if he disappears again he can stay gone for good because honestly you can't have something real with a man that isn't consistently present in your life.
I feel so many women fail when it comes how to deal with the in and out behavior because she's not prepared to deal with it and so many women deal with it by sticking her head in the sand, ignore the behavior and instead choose to be super polite and nice hoping it won't happen again, at some point a woman has to dig deep inside and figure out her own value and worth and raise her standards. You can walk away for good or you can give it one last chance and set up a clause that if he leaves then there is no getting back together again ever and STAND BY IT, it's completely up to you.
Posted by tiki33
All of his reasons for disappearing are "excuses" although I do feel there is truth in his excuses all of them are really LAME reasons why he's appearing and reappearing.
Unfortunately for you you've allowed a pattern/habit to seep into the dynamic of your relationship by accepting him back each time he disappeared and reappeared which says I'm okay with you behaving this way. There is no way he can know you are not okay with his Whodini act, every time he came back you took him in with open arms, had you nipped it in the bud the first time he pulled the disappearing act you'd probably been out this relationship a long time ago but b/c there were no consequences for his disappearing and reappearing he took it all for granted that it was okay for him to just leave without much effort to stay in your life.
Of course you can take a chance and try again but if I were you I would definitely make it clear that if he disappears again he can stay gone for good because honestly you can't have something real with a man that isn't consistently present in your life.
I feel so many women fail when it comes how to deal with the in and out behavior because she's not prepared to deal with it and so many women deal with it by sticking her head in the sand, ignore the behavior and instead choose to be super polite and nice hoping it won't happen again, at some point a woman has to dig deep inside and figure out her own value and worth and raise her standards. You can walk away for good or you can give it one last chance and set up a clause that if he leaves then there is no getting back together again ever and STAND BY IT, it's completely up to you.
This is so right on Tiki!
Thank you Tiki for your insight...in a bit of defense to him..he really went through a lot as he showed me actual proofs to establish all the craziness he went though...also, he said he was scared if i knew at first that he had a son, i would walk away...but he wants a fresh start..i am stalled if i should give him another chance...heart says yes but mind says maybe not?...do you bulls really are like this or would you exhibit similar behavior? I just want to get an insight if you guys really feel it's worth...he was really sincere when we discussed unless i'm being taken for a ride...can you let me know your 2 cents on this please....taurus men feel free to jump ....
But see lovefortaurus you are making excuses, it doesn't matter if his excuses and fears are valid with proof b/c none of it has anything to do with you. There is no valid excuse for abandoning someone and then reappearing and starting over again only to abandon the person again.
Many women fail to see that her taking on his excuses lowers her value because she's nonverbally saying to a man that his problems/issues etc are more important than her once a man feel he's more important he will never respect and value a relationship with her unless something drastically changes.
When a man care about a woman he will make time PERIOD. If your guy isn't making time for you it's because you are not that important to him (hard pill to swallow) and please don't take this as me being mean and not wanting you to be happy b/c that could be further from the truth.
If you allow a man to put himself and his issues/fears/excuses first without taking you into consideration he'll take you for granted and being taken for granted invites mistreatment into your life. All I can say is past behavior is a preclude to future behavior, if he walked out without considering you and your feelings in the past he'll do it again.
No one can tell you what to do, this is your life and you'll base your decision off of how much you value yourself which has nothing to do with him and more to do with your own values and standards. If you want to try again then try but don't be surprised if at some point he disappear on you again.
Many women fail to see that her taking on his excuses lowers her value because she's nonverbally saying to a man that his problems/issues etc are more important than her once a man feel he's more important he will never respect and value a relationship with her unless something drastically changes.
When a man care about a woman he will make time PERIOD. If your guy isn't making time for you it's because you are not that important to him (hard pill to swallow) and please don't take this as me being mean and not wanting you to be happy b/c that could be further from the truth.
If you allow a man to put himself and his issues/fears/excuses first without taking you into consideration he'll take you for granted and being taken for granted invites mistreatment into your life. All I can say is past behavior is a preclude to future behavior, if he walked out without considering you and your feelings in the past he'll do it again.
No one can tell you what to do, this is your life and you'll base your decision off of how much you value yourself which has nothing to do with him and more to do with your own values and standards. If you want to try again then try but don't be surprised if at some point he disappear on you again.
So Kitty you allowed this man to downgrade you into a FWB? Why? You know the only one who benefits from this kind of relationship is him...What about you?
Before you get defensive I am not attacking you. I'm just curious why you would settle for less, give him sex, be his friend and take yourself off the market.
Before you get defensive I am not attacking you. I'm just curious why you would settle for less, give him sex, be his friend and take yourself off the market.
Thank you so Tiki for for your insight and I completely do agree with you... If not for a part of me that wants to take that chance this time.....im just sonscared to deal with the pain again if it happens yet another time....We are not lovers...How do bulls react if they truly care for you... He has changed where he would open up on his own (admitting he has a son and many others things that transpired) I did not ask him, he openly decided to sit me down and tell me... He also told me that he loved me...wanting to trust but something is holding me back... When bulls start to tell you ,doesn't that mean or have weight... Sorry I am just really confused ... Thank you for responding and keeping it real for me. I appreciate it more than I can express
@ kitty thank you also for your advice... And parts of it rings true with me...it does a lot of thinking and im sure it's not the easiest thing to do what you have decided... But you must really love him and I respect and understand that.... I hope that he realizes soon how lucky he is... I wish you well
@ kitty thank you also for your advice... And parts of it rings true with me...it does a lot of thinking and im sure it's not the easiest thing to do what you have decided... But you must really love him and I respect and understand that.... I hope that he realizes soon how lucky he is... I wish you well
"im just sonscared to deal with the pain again if it happens yet another time"
That answers your questions. Put you first and you'll be able feel good about your decision.
Every woman genuinely wants to hear a man profess his love for her and feel emotionally connected with the man of her choice but in all honesty it seems he's pulling your strings a bit but with that being said why don't you take some time away from this issue and allow it to resolve itself, you don't have to decide anything right away and over analyzing things will only make matters worse by keeping you confused and while your doing that OBSERVE the relationship to see if his words and behavior are matching up, if it's not then you have your answer but if it is then you'll naturally fall in line with giving this guy another chance without hesitation.
That answers your questions. Put you first and you'll be able feel good about your decision.
Every woman genuinely wants to hear a man profess his love for her and feel emotionally connected with the man of her choice but in all honesty it seems he's pulling your strings a bit but with that being said why don't you take some time away from this issue and allow it to resolve itself, you don't have to decide anything right away and over analyzing things will only make matters worse by keeping you confused and while your doing that OBSERVE the relationship to see if his words and behavior are matching up, if it's not then you have your answer but if it is then you'll naturally fall in line with giving this guy another chance without hesitation.
Hey Lovefortaurus24, I really want to help but I've been to busy/tired to really form my thoughts and type em out for ya... One thing that might be worth reading is a old thread..
Food for thought here:
http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/taurus/Financial-Stability-Vs-Love-2647621.asp
And what is love without risk. I do not disagree that one must put oneself in extremely high regard, that is indeed paramount. *smh* Too many times one puts up armor against hurt, feeling, because we are afraid. Afraid of an emotion, afraid of taking a chance. Sequestered against possibility, believing we are in the right instead of doing what is right.
I could apologize and say I am sorry for thinking this way, but I am not. I think you are very in touch with what is going on emotionally Lovefortaurus, and please believe me when I say that we seek to protect those we hold in high regard from all things, even ourselves. At times to spare another pain, even when it gives us tremendous sadness or regret. It is felt that this is honorable, this is right. At times even that must be pushed through because one only hurts oneself at times. Denying oneself companionship and joy, a partner to look too when things are bleak, hands to help raise one up.
This optimism makes me an oddity I suppose. And I will neither argue for nor against what is ultimately your decision. I hope instead that this can be a touch of insight for you, hope it eases some turmoil or pain within you. I wish you the very best of luck lady. Your post touched me deeply.
I could apologize and say I am sorry for thinking this way, but I am not. I think you are very in touch with what is going on emotionally Lovefortaurus, and please believe me when I say that we seek to protect those we hold in high regard from all things, even ourselves. At times to spare another pain, even when it gives us tremendous sadness or regret. It is felt that this is honorable, this is right. At times even that must be pushed through because one only hurts oneself at times. Denying oneself companionship and joy, a partner to look too when things are bleak, hands to help raise one up.
This optimism makes me an oddity I suppose. And I will neither argue for nor against what is ultimately your decision. I hope instead that this can be a touch of insight for you, hope it eases some turmoil or pain within you. I wish you the very best of luck lady. Your post touched me deeply.
Posted by venusianbull
And what is love without risk. I do not disagree that one must put oneself in extremely high regard, that is indeed paramount. *smh* Too many times one puts up armor against hurt, feeling, because we are afraid. Afraid of an emotion, afraid of taking a chance. Sequestered against possibility, believing we are in the right instead of doing what is right.
I could apologize and say I am sorry for thinking this way, but I am not. I think you are very in touch with what is going on emotionally Lovefortaurus, and please believe me when I say that we seek to protect those we hold in high regard from all things, even ourselves. At times to spare another pain, even when it gives us tremendous sadness or regret. It is felt that this is honorable, this is right. At times even that must be pushed through because one only hurts oneself at times. Denying oneself companionship and joy, a partner to look too when things are bleak, hands to help raise one up.
This optimism makes me an oddity I suppose. And I will neither argue for nor against what is ultimately your decision. I hope instead that this can be a touch of insight for you, hope it eases some turmoil or pain within you. I wish you the very best of luck lady. Your post touched me deeply.
You are not an oddity VB,I believe most all of us are this way.
And lovefortaurus,that thread Taurguy mentioned is a good one,among a couple of other older ones.
Wait..I'm not a weirdo? But how is this to be borne? Must press on.
Must press on.I acknowledge all of your input and am sooo grateful ........I am just thinking out aloud here..allow me to express how I am feeling as of right now.......
If I think of how I felt hurt when you disappeared all of a sudden..I can't help but tear up because you left me with hurt and confusion...but ironically I was never angry with you, at times I even understood you...especially when all the hurt and confusion is comforted by our "memories of time together" I truly cannot explain it but when you said "I love you" ..I know you meant it...I just know...but i also feel that there apart from me there is so much going inside you...although you didn't really explain it then..It makes sense now why you had been that way...I would have preferred you sat me down and simply told me because I knew i would still understand and have been able to react better that way...but that is me...not you ...and I respect that...My mind says no but my heart just keeps yelling yes!...even when i'm afraid that it might not a wise decision...but even more I have in me is wanting to take the risk at this point and not care if I make a wise decision...if I make the right or wrong decision..I just want to take the chance...and whatever outcome I must face in the end...happy or be hurt ...good or bad.... and still be willing to accept the consequences...I wish i can be rational...logical but i can't.....somehow i'm braver adn have the calmness knowing I will still be "Ok" in the end.........
If I think of how I felt hurt when you disappeared all of a sudden..I can't help but tear up because you left me with hurt and confusion...but ironically I was never angry with you, at times I even understood you...especially when all the hurt and confusion is comforted by our "memories of time together" I truly cannot explain it but when you said "I love you" ..I know you meant it...I just know...but i also feel that there apart from me there is so much going inside you...although you didn't really explain it then..It makes sense now why you had been that way...I would have preferred you sat me down and simply told me because I knew i would still understand and have been able to react better that way...but that is me...not you ...and I respect that...My mind says no but my heart just keeps yelling yes!...even when i'm afraid that it might not a wise decision...but even more I have in me is wanting to take the risk at this point and not care if I make a wise decision...if I make the right or wrong decision..I just want to take the chance...and whatever outcome I must face in the end...happy or be hurt ...good or bad.... and still be willing to accept the consequences...I wish i can be rational...logical but i can't.....somehow i'm braver adn have the calmness knowing I will still be "Ok" in the end.........
Awwwwww, I say go for it! Saying "I Love You" is a big thing from a Taurus, I'd think, and if you felt he meant it then that's all you need because you love him too. All that matters in the end, is you being okay, and if you feel that you will be just that regardless of the outcome then most definitely take that chance. The issue seems fixable. He just doesn't know how to deal with his emotions without secluding himself, and you don't understand his need for that. Talk, and I think it will be okay.
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Posted by TaurGuy
Hey Lovefortaurus24, I really want to help but I've been to busy/tired to really form my thoughts and type em out for ya... One thing that might be worth reading is a old thread..
Food for thought here:
http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/taurus/Financial-Stability-Vs-Love-2647621.asp
This thread ^^ being famous for that faboulous line from VB:
"Jerk him up by his ass hair and make him see sense."
LOL!!! had a sleepless nite and the thought of it woke me up way better than a stong cup of cappucinno....
@ReallyNiceAriesPerson ....and @LadySagitarius...if possible, May I have your thoughts on my situation too?
@Kittyknitter
@Tiki...yes, indeed...you spoke my mind...this time I will make sure to notice and look for action to back up his words
@TaurGuy....Thank you, I appreciate the link...read it...and it rang true in that I knew he always spoke of finances before and brought it up last time again...how he wants to add side income...discussing how he wants to open a business and wants me in there...
@VB...your response touched me too and it pretty much spoke what my heart is telling me
@BellatheBull...please share any other link I can read on and if you can also let me know what you make out of the situation
@lna04....so true..i think I only heard him say it 3 times before and twice last time.......
Thank you all kindly for taking the time to response...I really appreciate it and is getting as much as I could out of it ...I also wanted to add that he really seemed different last time...what made it standout for me was I was taken aback when he said that "I was trying to hard not to contactt you anymore but finally I couldn't stop myself and just had to" plus also when we were talking and just suddenly said he wanted to talk and open up about his sons and how life is short...and how he wants to start over...how he missed me and loves me...when we kissed and i couldn't help whisper i love you..he said it right back passionately...my heart over my mind....but my mind is also telling me it should go over my heart.........if it were you, will you take the chance and why?...
@ReallyNiceAriesPerson ....and @LadySagitarius...if possible, May I have your thoughts on my situation too?
@Kittyknitter
@Tiki...yes, indeed...you spoke my mind...this time I will make sure to notice and look for action to back up his words
@TaurGuy....Thank you, I appreciate the link...read it...and it rang true in that I knew he always spoke of finances before and brought it up last time again...how he wants to add side income...discussing how he wants to open a business and wants me in there...
@VB...your response touched me too and it pretty much spoke what my heart is telling me
@BellatheBull...please share any other link I can read on and if you can also let me know what you make out of the situation
@lna04....so true..i think I only heard him say it 3 times before and twice last time.......
Thank you all kindly for taking the time to response...I really appreciate it and is getting as much as I could out of it ...I also wanted to add that he really seemed different last time...what made it standout for me was I was taken aback when he said that "I was trying to hard not to contactt you anymore but finally I couldn't stop myself and just had to" plus also when we were talking and just suddenly said he wanted to talk and open up about his sons and how life is short...and how he wants to start over...how he missed me and loves me...when we kissed and i couldn't help whisper i love you..he said it right back passionately...my heart over my mind....but my mind is also telling me it should go over my heart.........if it were you, will you take the chance and why?...
I would risk...everything. And the better question is why not? *eyes twinkling*
@lovefortaurus a risk is risky just like putting money into junk bonds and IMO men that disappear and reappear have flight risk issues which makes this guy a high risk, the odds are you'll see more past behavior intrude into the relationship at some point and you'll have to be prepared to deal with it and with that being said I wouldn't dump him but I wouldn't date him exclusively either, I couldn't imagine putting my heart into a man's hands that's shown he's incapable of sticking around, I couldn't take him seriously but I would still take a risk and keep him in my life, give him the chance to prove he's not a flight risk. That's how I would deal with it. If you want it go for it.
@Kittyknitter I wish you all the luck, I hope you are the exception to the rule....Keep us updated!
@Kittyknitter I wish you all the luck, I hope you are the exception to the rule....Keep us updated!
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I think...
"disappearing" is not ok, but if you have that sorted and are happy, then I am happy too (personally I would never "disappear" from someone I loved but we are not discussing Aries habits, are we?) I understand if he was getting his shit together, but he needs to let you know what is going on so you know you don't have to file a missing persons report. If you have explained this to him and it's all good now then that is OK.
Let the Bu' know how you feel, they appreciate your honesty. Let him know what you need - they are very obliging creatures but you can't expect them to be mind readers.
if a Taurus says "I love you" that means they love you.
"friends with benefits" is for wankers, I think if I am good enough to root I am good enough to marry but I support others to their own opinion on this - your body is your own to do with as you wish.
if a Taurus says "I love you" that means they love you.
Trust your heart always.
If a Taurus says "I love you" that means they love you. You can take it to the bank. It is real.
"disappearing" is not ok, but if you have that sorted and are happy, then I am happy too (personally I would never "disappear" from someone I loved but we are not discussing Aries habits, are we?) I understand if he was getting his shit together, but he needs to let you know what is going on so you know you don't have to file a missing persons report. If you have explained this to him and it's all good now then that is OK.
Let the Bu' know how you feel, they appreciate your honesty. Let him know what you need - they are very obliging creatures but you can't expect them to be mind readers.
if a Taurus says "I love you" that means they love you.
"friends with benefits" is for wankers, I think if I am good enough to root I am good enough to marry but I support others to their own opinion on this - your body is your own to do with as you wish.
if a Taurus says "I love you" that means they love you.
Trust your heart always.
If a Taurus says "I love you" that means they love you. You can take it to the bank. It is real.
If a relationship is to be solid, loving and enjoyable it's a relationship whereby you BOTH work through the hard times together, no?
Isn't that what it's all about? Loving each other, taking care of each other during good and bad?
Isn't that what it's all about? Loving each other, taking care of each other during good and bad?
Yes, and I would far prefer to take a chance that to live with regret. Everyone lives with a broken heart from time to time, wondering lasts forever.
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Posted by venusianbull
Yes, and I would far prefer to take a chance that to live with regret. Everyone lives with a broken heart from time to time, wondering lasts forever.
Yep. Wondering...bugger that.
Are all bulls comfortable taking a chance? or is it just you VB?
You have a bit of Aries daring in you I think, you may be atypical.
"If a relationship is to be solid, loving and enjoyable it's a relationship whereby you BOTH work through the hard times together, no?
Isn't that what it's all about? Loving each other, taking care of each other during good and bad?"
I share the same sentiments NZ....If a man bails on a relationship b/c of hardships then it's a sure sign he isn't willing to fully commit to being present and consistent now or ever and if he back peddles out of the real relationship and downgrade the real relationship back into friendship zone there is another sign he isn't into the woman or fully committed and taking the easy route out to get the bonus of sex without the benefit of commitment.
In lovefortaurus case he's proclaiming he love her despite displaying not so loving behavior by leaving her hanging, she'll have to decide to risk it and observe if his behavior and words match up and be prepared to leave if it doesn't, anyone can say I love you but if his actions say I could care less, I'm selfish, I'll do it my way without considering how I effect you then he's not being honest.
Isn't that what it's all about? Loving each other, taking care of each other during good and bad?"
I share the same sentiments NZ....If a man bails on a relationship b/c of hardships then it's a sure sign he isn't willing to fully commit to being present and consistent now or ever and if he back peddles out of the real relationship and downgrade the real relationship back into friendship zone there is another sign he isn't into the woman or fully committed and taking the easy route out to get the bonus of sex without the benefit of commitment.
In lovefortaurus case he's proclaiming he love her despite displaying not so loving behavior by leaving her hanging, she'll have to decide to risk it and observe if his behavior and words match up and be prepared to leave if it doesn't, anyone can say I love you but if his actions say I could care less, I'm selfish, I'll do it my way without considering how I effect you then he's not being honest.
Posted by ReallyNiceAriesPersonPosted by venusianbull
Yes, and I would far prefer to take a chance that to live with regret. Everyone lives with a broken heart from time to time, wondering lasts forever.
Yep. Wondering...bugger that.
Are all bulls comfortable taking a chance? or is it just you VB?
You have a bit of Aries daring in you I think, you may be atypical.click to expand
I believe I am. I am drenched in Aries along with my Tau, with my Pisces Venus that holds such optimism. Where others might linger, I require movement. Forward motion. Coupled with coming on the outside of one horranus marriage with none of my faith lost in the institution. In essence, I didn't let it make me bitter. I considered it a lesson learned.
And bugger wondering indeed. Full on roger in fact.
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Posted by venusianbull
And bugger wondering indeed. Full on roger in fact.
Totally. Stand up rogering up against the Volvo.
Posted by ReallyNiceAriesPersonPosted by venusianbull
And bugger wondering indeed. Full on roger in fact.
Totally. Stand up rogering up against the Volvo.click to expand
Have I been drinking?
lol
Lovefortaurus,I agree with everything VB has said.if I interject to much on my own...a fight will break out.
Posted by ReallyNiceAriesPersonPosted by venusianbull
And bugger wondering indeed. Full on roger in fact.
Totally. Stand up rogering up against the Volvo.click to expand
Too right!
Posted by BellatheBull
Lovefortaurus,I agree with everything VB has said.if I interject to much on my own...a fight will break out.
Geeeeesh Bells ya trouble maker!
Posted by venusianbullPosted by ReallyNiceAriesPersonPosted by venusianbull
And bugger wondering indeed. Full on roger in fact.
Totally. Stand up rogering up against the Volvo.
Too right!click to expand
Taint that the truth? :p
*sigh* What I'd not give for a stand up rogering against a Volvo. 
Posted by venusianbullPosted by BellatheBull
Lovefortaurus,I agree with everything VB has said.if I interject to much on my own...a fight will break out.
Geeeeesh Bells ya trouble maker!click to expand
I'm trying to be good.
Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
Posted by venusianbull
*sigh* What I'd not give for a stand up rogering against a Volvo.
hmmmmmmmm
Posted by venusianbull
Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
Good question.I'll get back to ya on that.
LOL Alrighty.
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Posted by BellatheBullPosted by ReallyNiceAriesPersonPosted by venusianbull
And bugger wondering indeed. Full on roger in fact.
Totally. Stand up rogering up against the Volvo.
Have I been drinking?
lolclick to expand
Quite possibly. And that wedgie looks mighty uncomfortable
I think my matador is in better shape than yours.
Posted by ReallyNiceAriesPersonPosted by BellatheBullPosted by ReallyNiceAriesPersonPosted by venusianbull
And bugger wondering indeed. Full on roger in fact.
Totally. Stand up rogering up against the Volvo.
Have I been drinking?
lol
Quite possibly. And that wedgie looks mighty uncomfortable
I think my matador is in better shape than yours.click to expand
It does look a tad rough.....
After that bull comes on over from that headstand though,yours is going to be much shorter.
I'm a little embarrassed though,it appears our matadors are wearing the same outfit. ;/
Signed Up: Sep 10, 2010
Comments: 0 · Posts: 4684 · Topics: 51
Comments: 0 · Posts: 4684 · Topics: 51
unless it's the same guy, after the bull gets up and dacks him
Hello everyone...an update ..I informed him I needed time to think everything over...asked him to think over as i am too and that we should both decide if we will both be ok on our "wants' and "needs"...Although I made it clear to him that although I have no plans of getting married at least not in the next 3 years, I want to be with someone I can build a relationship with...that there are women out there available who would be willing to settle to a casual relationship where he can appear and disappear....and told him that we'll speak next week...talk was calm and the longest we've had to date...I jsut want to make sure my head is clear and I am not rushing myself...In just a couple days, You all have made very important insight...each of you and I appreciate it...truly...It makes a difference knowing people are willing to help.....This thread has made me think..opened my eyes through heart and mind....it has made me think, cry, wonder, thought more, ask questions and at times even laugh....I value it. Thank you. Keep your thoughts pouring.
Lovefortaurus sounds like a really good start and I wish you the best of luck in your new relationship. Keep us updated!
...he dropped a bomb on me and he is legally separated..working on divorce...he says he wants to be with me.......marriage was long over even before I came into the picture...they did not divorce then because of family and culture..................I cannot even think right at this time
H-E-L-P Please
Seems he's dropped too many bombs on you already and now this. He's married and there is a chance you could get pulled into this whole mess. Tell him to come back when he's divorced.
OMG, talk about the deception. I thought it was odd for him to JUST NOW tell you about a child, and to be married on top of that. Just too much. I say cut the ties, as there is no way he should have let you get this far without telling you. What's the harm in saying I'm legally separated?!?!
told him I cannot be anything with him at this point..even told him why don't you just give it one more try to see if it'll work for the sake of your child...aalso told him i dont want to be a part of this.....i am numb at this point...we spoke today...I wanted to be angry but I wasnt...I wanted to hate him and tell him to **** off but i didnn't....I know I am thinking right because I know i will not be the "other woman" which is why I told him nothing .........he is begging for me to stay as a friend until he takes care of everything..."don't be out of the picture...this is what I was afraid what's going to happen if I tell you"...
@ Tiki...deep sigh
@ lnana...my bff said the exact same thing ( I thought it was odd for him to JUST NOW tell you about a child,)
@ lnana...my bff said the exact same thing ( I thought it was odd for him to JUST NOW tell you about a child,)
tell him he cannot have his cake and eat it too. he's been thinking of himself in this ENTIRE situation, and he STILL doesn't want you to make a decision that will go against what he wants. what about what's best for you at this time? you think he cares? obviously not. i think you told him right. i am so sorry you are going through this.
Think about yourself first, your feelings, your life is just as important as his and please don't be his friend, you deserve more than being this guys fallback girl, tell him you'll be happy to resume a friendship/relationship with him when his divorce is finalized, you do not want to be emotionally tied up with an unavailable man *separated is not divorced* at any point he could change his mind and go back to his wife (that's if he even has left his wife for real) leave you cold and you'd be devastated. You definitely need to put some distance between the 2 of you so you can take good care of yourself. Not only should you be out of the picture you should be angry that he didn't tell you something so important as I'm separated, I know someone who went through the same exact relationship problem and got dragged into the divorce proceedings, mind you she knew nothing about his marriage and had absolutely nothing to do with his break up, unfortunately money was lost and it was damaging to her reputation. Whatever you do protect you first.
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