taurus husband wants a divorce

This topic was created in the Taurus forum by stella_wry on Thursday, September 22, 2016 and has 75 replies.
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I have been with my husband for over ten years. i am a cancer.

we've been married for three years. Last May, he told me that he has no feelings for me anymore. Our relationship has been cold since then. He doesn't have another woman. He says we are just too different, and we can't make it work.

Now he doesn't talk to me, or care about me. We only talk when it's about our daughter.

i'm from China. HIs parents don't want us to get divorced. But he says that the reason why we are not divorced yet is because of our daughter. He doesn't want to live with me.

We used to be so happy and close. I don't know why he has changed so much.

There were times before our baby was born when I jokingly told him that i wanted a divorce because he seemed to not care about me and he didn't like to talk to me. i don't know if it's part of the reason why he wants a divorce now.


i don't know whether i should divorce or not. Clearly we are not happy. I think such a relationship is not good for our daughter. I don't know if he will ever come back to me, which he says there is only the slightest chance.


I want to know what i should do. Thanks!
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Are you financially independent ?
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Posted by Harukka

I think there is other woman.
I think so too

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Man, lots of relationship issues lately
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Posted by cap..
Are you financially independent ?
????


He maybe just be looking for younger... It is sad a lot of American men are doing this... Then they realize they can't buy love... It was only physical... And maybe some chemistry...




PM
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Posted by piscesmoon2
Posted by cap..
Are you financially independent ?
????




PM
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She asked what should she do. I think financial independence of a wife is an important factor to consider while thinking about divorce. If she earns her own living then its different .


Cant help it. A practical capricorn here smile


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Posted by Sssupes
Man, lots of relationship issues lately
I think may have something to do with Libra Jupiter transit - upcoming
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Posted by Sssupes
Man, lots of relationship issues lately
Yes this is a global thing... Saturn in sag... A lot of depressions and rescission happen during this time... Financial stuff cause a lot of trouble in relations... As well as many other things...


I was not even considering dating anyone for a year or so until it changed signs but I ran in to my X Aqua and now current crush. Only because she is a catch and she does not care what I make or so on... and has her shot together more then she gives her self credit. I guess it does not would consider other but it seems like there are so many party girls... When girls run into me it is like they want to play hard to get because I am a good guy... Yet out in a club give a few drinks... Who knows... I am sure Aqua crush is nor so much like this but maybe made a must stake or 2... I know k have... Even though I had the best intention does not mean the others do.


PM
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Get divorced, what's the point of having this relationships/ marriage if you're not happy, you should have self worth , self respect, a guy who leaves you like this doesn't deserve you, especially if he says there's no other woman involved, that means there probably is, relationship/ love/ marriage should be both people happy, or when times get hard supporting, fighting for each other, not against each other. Most relationships end not because people change, that's always happening, people always evolve always change, but mostly relationship fails these days because people get distracted to easy, they lose their focus, for example you live with a person 10years, and all of a sudden the things that didn't bother before start bothering now, small bad habits you do or something else, and it's a thing of focus, the more you focus on something, the more you see eat and other things blur out. Rather than focusing on what they love about you, they focus on things they don't like about you, the more they focus the sharper they look and the things they loved about you start to blur, they are still there, but people don't see them, 2 much focus on bad shit, my advise for each person in relationship would be focus more on what you love about person rather than small shit you didn't like about that, this is psychology, to make it easier for people to leave a person they make themselves focus on things like that, to make them feel like the person isn't worth their attention and isn't good enough for them, the more you realise the deep roots of things the more you can work on this, but it's 10times more deep and there must be some issues in relationship . Goodluck , keep head high smile
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Posted by Sssupes
Man, lots of relationship issues lately
Mercury retrograde is over so now you can make the move. No one should if been doing any purchasing or pursing love. But it's over can see what it is really worth now if it's meant to be. Ya know.
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If I break it off trust me I am in no mood for rebounds so if they say no other woman it's true.
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Unless you have proof.
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Posted by cap..
Posted by piscesmoon2
Posted by cap..
Are you financially independent ?
????




PM
She asked what should she do. I think financial independence of a wife is an important factor to consider while thinking about divorce. If she earns her own living then its different .


Cant help it. A practical capricorn here smile


click to expand


Oh no agree...


PM

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@ piscesmoon2


I agree one should be always fit but reduced physical attraction cannot be a criteria to stop loving someone. Couples can also motivate each other to be fit and have a healthy life style .
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Posted by cap..
Are you financially independent ?
yes, i have my own job.
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Posted by cap..
@ piscesmoon2


I agree one should be always fit but reduced physical attraction cannot be a criteria to stop loving someone. Couples can also motivate each other to be fit and have a healthy life style .
i think i look fit.

he says its that our personalities are so different. we see things and deal with things so differently.


i think he's holding a grudge against me, he seems so annoyed when i tried to speak to him.
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Posted by stella_wry
Posted by cap..
@ piscesmoon2


I agree one should be always fit but reduced physical attraction cannot be a criteria to stop loving someone. Couples can also motivate each other to be fit and have a healthy life style .
i think he's holding a grudge against me, he seems so annoyed when i tried to speak to him.
Holding a grudge for what ? That you had jokingly said u want divorce ?



Posted by stella_wry
Posted by cap..
@ piscesmoon2


I agree one should be always fit but reduced physical attraction cannot be a criteria to stop loving someone. Couples can also motivate each other to be fit and have a healthy life style .
i think i look fit.

he says its that our personalities are so different. we see things and deal with things so differently.

.
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If you can elaborate on that ?



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Posted by rakac
Get divorced, what's the point of having this relationships/ marriage if you're not happy, you should have self worth , self respect, a guy who leaves you like this doesn't deserve you, especially if he says there's no other woman involved, that means there probably is, relationship/ love/ marriage should be both people happy, or when times get hard supporting, fighting for each other, not against each other. Most relationships end not because people change, that's always happening, people always evolve always change, but mostly relationship fails these days because people get distracted to easy, they lose their focus, for example you live with a person 10years, and all of a sudden the things that didn't bother before start bothering now, small bad habits you do or something else, and it's a thing of focus, the more you focus on something, the more you see eat and other things blur out. Rather than focusing on what they love about you, they focus on things they don't like about you, the more they focus the sharper they look and the things they loved about you start to blur, they are still there, but people don't see them, 2 much focus on bad shit, my advise for each person in relationship would be focus more on what you love about person rather than small shit you didn't like about that, this is psychology, to make it easier for people to leave a person they make themselves focus on things like that, to make them feel like the person isn't worth their attention and isn't good enough for them, the more you realise the deep roots of things the more you can work on this, but it's 10times more deep and there must be some issues in relationship . Goodluck , keep head high smile
you r quite right.

but you should know divorce is not so easy in china, it,s not like in western countries. there,s so much pressure from family, friends.


some part of me still thinks that maybe he will come around some day. i don,t know. i need some taurus men to give some opinions.

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The fitness comment was actually my reply to piscesmoon2's comment which is hidden now. I do not think that is a reason behind major serious relationship breakups . Its more a mental attraction. Or may be men think differently smile
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Posted by Harukka

I think there is other woman.
According to my sources on dxp, Taurus is loyal beyond belief. This theory can't be true
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Posted by cap..
Posted by stella_wry
Posted by cap..
@ piscesmoon2


I agree one should be always fit but reduced physical attraction cannot be a criteria to stop loving someone. Couples can also motivate each other to be fit and have a healthy life style .
i think he's holding a grudge against me, he seems so annoyed when i tried to speak to him.
Holding a grudge for what ? That you had jokingly said u want divorce ?



Posted by stella_wry
Posted by cap..
@ piscesmoon2


I agree one should be always fit but reduced physical attraction cannot be a criteria to stop loving someone. Couples can also motivate each other to be fit and have a healthy life style .
i think i look fit.

he says its that our personalities are so different. we see things and deal with things so differently.

.
If you can elaborate on that ?



click to expand
i dont know what hia grudge is for. he just seems annoyed when i try to talk.


i can try on the physical attraction thing, but i doubt he'll ever notice or care
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"he says its that our personalities are so different. we see things and deal with things so differently."


U both are different in what ways ?
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Meh.
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Posted by Harukka
Posted by Sssupes
Posted by Harukka

I think there is other woman.
According to my sources on dxp, Taurus is loyal beyond belief. This theory can't be true
I know a taurus who cheated in his wife with 8 women in the same time.


They are not loyal as u think they are.
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Damn.
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Posted by Sssupes
Posted by Harukka

I think there is other woman.
According to my sources on dxp, Taurus is loyal beyond belief. This theory can't be true
click to expand


That's a blood clot lie. They're *loyal cheaters*
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Sounds like an odd union-why were you "joking" about divorce? It seems like it may have been headed that way all along. Give him his divorce and make wiser choices next time. Don't be too traditional in your ways. Men these days literally want a lady on the street and a whore in the bedroom.
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just like me= a kinky devil
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Posted by Harukka
Posted by Sssupes
Posted by Harukka

I think there is other woman.
According to my sources on dxp, Taurus is loyal beyond belief. This theory can't be true
I know a taurus who cheated in his wife with 8 women in the same time.


They are not loyal as u think they are.
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Dang! 8? I guess I'm lucky since my ex only cheated with one.


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Are you making love to him? I've heard that cancers will loose interest in sex at some point in a relationship. Taurus men never do and if you cut them off sexually they will no longer what to be with you, won't want to talk to you..they are so sexual.


Doesn't mean they are cheating, but never cut off a Taurus man and expect it to work.
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Posted by Redoctober2000
Posted by cap..
The fitness comment was actually my reply to piscesmoon2's comment which is hidden now. I do not think that is a reason behind major serious relationship breakups . Its more a mental attraction. Or may be men think differently smile
Physical attraction as well as sexual attraction waiting are good reasons for a divorce. Pointless staying with someone you are no longer physically or sexually attracted too.

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You are right. What i mean is sexual attraction is not just related to what appeals to your eyes. It starts from mind.

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Posted by Redoctober2000
Posted by cap..
The fitness comment was actually my reply to piscesmoon2's comment which is hidden now. I do not think that is a reason behind major serious relationship breakups . Its more a mental attraction. Or may be men think differently smile
Also the cultural differences of the OP being from China and her husband being a westerner may have proved to much in the end.

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I thought they both are from China
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Posted by Arielle83
Why would you joke about divorce years ago and then wonder why he wants one today?


You planted the seed.


because he didnt act like a good husband. he was always palying his stupid computer games and didnt talk to me. he seemed that he didnt care about me. i was angry and upset at that time
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Posted by cap..
Posted by Redoctober2000
Posted by cap..
The fitness comment was actually my reply to piscesmoon2's comment which is hidden now. I do not think that is a reason behind major serious relationship breakups . Its more a mental attraction. Or may be men think differently smile
Also the cultural differences of the OP being from China and her husband being a westerner may have proved to much in the end.

I thought they both are from China
click to expand
yes, we are
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Posted by stella_wry
I have been with my husband for over ten years. i am a cancer.

we've been married for three years. Last May, he told me that he has no feelings for me anymore. Our relationship has been cold since then. He doesn't have another woman. He says we are just too different, and we can't make it work.

Now he doesn't talk to me, or care about me. We only talk when it's about our daughter.

i'm from China. HIs parents don't want us to get divorced. But he says that the reason why we are not divorced yet is because of our daughter. He doesn't want to live with me.

We used to be so happy and close. I don't know why he has changed so much.

There were times before our baby was born when I jokingly told him that i wanted a divorce because he seemed to not care about me and he didn't like to talk to me. i don't know if it's part of the reason why he wants a divorce now.


i don't know whether i should divorce or not. Clearly we are not happy. I think such a relationship is not good for our daughter. I don't know if he will ever come back to me, which he says there is only the slightest chance.


I want to know what i should do. Thanks!


He is telling you the truth (or most of it)... let him go. Would you rather he stay with you and lie the whole time?



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Posted by cap..
"he says its that our personalities are so different. we see things and deal with things so differently."


U both are different in what ways ?
for example, he is so slow doing everything, i am always eager to get things settled quickly. i like to make plana before doing things and stick to them, he is quite thw opposite.
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Posted by stella_wry
I have been with my husband for over ten years. i am a cancer.

we've been married for three years. Last May, he told me that he has no feelings for me anymore. Our relationship has been cold since then. He doesn't have another woman. He says we are just too different, and we can't make it work.

Now he doesn't talk to me, or care about me. We only talk when it's about our daughter.

i'm from China. HIs parents don't want us to get divorced. But he says that the reason why we are not divorced yet is because of our daughter. He doesn't want to live with me.

We used to be so happy and close. I don't know why he has changed so much.

There were times before our baby was born when I jokingly told him that i wanted a divorce because he seemed to not care about me and he didn't like to talk to me. i don't know if it's part of the reason why he wants a divorce now.


i don't know whether i should divorce or not. Clearly we are not happy. I think such a relationship is not good for our daughter. I don't know if he will ever come back to me, which he says there is only the slightest chance.


I want to know what i should do. Thanks!
He was already acting the same way back then, woman. How come you didn't get your clue??
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Posted by nds
Do you live in Guangdong China? That name always made me chuckle. Guangdong.
When will you and I finally have our Guangdongdate, Ands? I want to explore our grand cross synastry.
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sadly, it does sound like there is another woman. as a Taurus, if I am committed to someone, I will make it work thru thick and thin. If I am unhappy in my relationship and I've met someone and found a connection with another person, chances are I will become distant while evaluating my situation and eventually, I will either a) leave or b) stay and return to normal. I would give it time definitely. If you guys can stick it out for your daughter for a while (maybe 18), I feel like that would be for the best. after that, if you both still feel like moving on, at least you've done the most for your children by both being there. little girls need BOTH parents. now if it's become toxic in front of the child, I'm not in support of that. children come first. period. you guys can work it out somehow even if you go your separate ways later. I'm sorry for your situation. best of luck!
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Posted by stella_wry
He says we are just too different, and we can't make it work.

Something tells me he elaborated on this reason.

What did your Taurus man tell you EXACTLY?


I can't give a candid answer/advice for such a vague statement.


Bulls do not simply walk away without a valid reason.


It's tick....tick...tick... then BOOM.


What was being said, stressed and elaborated when he was in 'ticking' mode?


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Posted by nds
Posted by RamOfPeace
Posted by nds
Do you live in Guangdong China? That name always made me chuckle. Guangdong.
When will you and I finally have our Guangdongdate, Ands? I want to explore our grand cross synastry.
Stop teasing me Sad
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It's the lifeblood of my sun/moon combination.

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Posted by bkbella86
Posted by Sssupes
Posted by Harukka

I think there is other woman.
According to my sources on dxp, Taurus is loyal beyond belief. This theory can't be true


That's a blood clot lie. They're *loyal cheaters*
click to expand


The are LOYAL CHEATERS. I will say that Taureses will not leave for another woman per se he probably has cheated but he will leave if he doesn't feel like whatever issues he has with you probably won't change and that's why he is saying you two are too different meaning he's probably tried already and knows the issues can't be fixed.


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Is he having a mid-life crises?
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Oh I think I remember this one. That was totally wrong doing, playing like faking like mentioning divorce to a fixed sign who probably liked her at one point and totally blew it but joking around.


Can't joke around with fixed we take everything to heart, analysis and do what we feel, think, speak, act as necessary.




This is like nothing to do with a woman interference yet and if he does she can't do nothing because she was like okay to play mind games like that.


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If a taurus does marriage therapy then they want to work it out. Good luck @Op.
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Posted by AriesLady8
Posted by 2Moon
he is going to find a Libra woman and be happy forever! mark my words..... LOOOOOL!


cancer: 0


Libra: 1
I understanding you're joking and partly serious. But this is this woman's life. What makes you want to be cruel towards someone when they're at a low point?

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This dude lives to hate.Laughing




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And sorry @stella_wry Sad I do agree with others to try everything to resolve first. That way you know you tried.



Everyone is breaking up.
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Posted by AbbyNormal
sadly, it does sound like there is another woman. as a Taurus, if I am committed to someone, I will make it work thru thick and thin. If I am unhappy in my relationship and I've met someone and found a connection with another person, chances are I will become distant while evaluating my situation and eventually, I will either a) leave or b) stay and return to normal. I would give it time definitely. If you guys can stick it out for your daughter for a while (maybe 18), I feel like that would be for the best. after that, if you both still feel like moving on, at least you've done the most for your children by both being there. little girls need BOTH parents. now if it's become toxic in front of the child, I'm not in support of that. children come first. period. you guys can work it out somehow even if you go your separate ways later. I'm sorry for your situation. best of luck!
thanks.

i tend to solve the problem the way you suggest. but he just seems to want to keep the distance. i am so panicked that one day my little girl (soon 22 months old) will find out there is something wrong between dad and mom, or even worth, accept it as the way a couple should be. i dont want her to have the wrong idea and i dont want to give up right now. a rather bad dilemma!
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Posted by SensitiveBlues
Have you sought marriage counseling?


I dont think you should give up just yet
i suggested it, but he said it wont work for us, stubborn!
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Posted by stella_wry
Posted by AbbyNormal
sadly, it does sound like there is another woman. as a Taurus, if I am committed to someone, I will make it work thru thick and thin. If I am unhappy in my relationship and I've met someone and found a connection with another person, chances are I will become distant while evaluating my situation and eventually, I will either a) leave or b) stay and return to normal. I would give it time definitely. If you guys can stick it out for your daughter for a while (maybe 18), I feel like that would be for the best. after that, if you both still feel like moving on, at least you've done the most for your children by both being there. little girls need BOTH parents. now if it's become toxic in front of the child, I'm not in support of that. children come first. period. you guys can work it out somehow even if you go your separate ways later. I'm sorry for your situation. best of luck!
thanks.

i tend to solve the problem the way you suggest. but he just seems to want to keep the distance. i am so panicked that one day my little girl (soon 22 months old) will find out there is something wrong between dad and mom, or even worth, accept it as the way a couple should be. i dont want her to have the wrong idea and i dont want to give up right now. a rather bad dilemma!
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and those are definitely very real, sensible worries but remember they are projections and that the future is not set but fluid and impressionable. do what you can from your side, which right now is probably being patient while he takes some time to himself, and prepare yourself as best as possible for the important conversation thats about to have to eventually take place. these concerns definitely need to be addressed with him one on one or with professional help. putting one's self aside can be difficult but it's exactly what he's going to have to do on her behalf, and same goes for you. your situation is not optimal right now and there's no way of knowing right now where it will go from here. prepare yourself for any changes that may come and just always make your decisions from the heart with your daughter's best in mind--keeping as much stability in her life as you can.
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Posted by Redoctober2000
The OP doesn't seem to acknowledge or answer questions about the part she played...
EXACTLY!


She avoids direct questions.

...And plays the 'woe' is me sympathy card to the people who are feeding off her misery.


If she keeps this up, she will never keep her Taurus man.

No amount of therapy is going to help someone who wishes to be secretive, or in the 'dark' about their shortcomings.

If she isn't telling us anything.

Chances are, the 'shrink' will not hear anything as well.


But I wish her luck.

When a Bull's mind is made up....good luck in changing it!


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