Taurus men and their disappearing Acts

This topic was created in the Taurus forum by TaurusMen on Monday, March 28, 2016 and has 18 replies.
I am new here and I have read a lot of the topics on Taurus men disappearing and reappearing without any kind of explanation. I've googled this topic in every way possible and there are years of these questions about taurus men. Not to mention Astro readings, personality traits, so on. However, on this site it seems to me that a lot of the responses are kind of defensive. Saying that the ladies either was intimate too soon, their nagging, he's not into you, taurus men don't like easy women, etc. But I just can't imagine that so many women around the world would be having this same issue. I've also read a recent topic asking if a Taurus could really be FWB? And a lot of responses was No, because they are too possessive. So to me it just seems a little contradicting.

A lot of advice that was given was to keep reaching out to him to reassure him that you are there for him and that he can trust you. Or just check on him once and a while to see if he's ok. My thing is if he has stopped communicating, then why keep trying to contact him only to be continuously be ignored?

So my questions is for the Taurus men that has actually did this who are willing to be honest as to why. If things are going good with the women you are attracted to or interested in, then why the silence? How long do you stay away? When you finally resurfaced, what did you say? What are your expectations of her when she have't heard from you in so long?


My last questions are for the ladies who had experienced with this issue from a Taurus guy. Once you decided to stop reaching out, how long did it take before he resurfaced? How did he act or what did he say?


Thanks in advanced guys!
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they gone
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i can only speak from experience. i think it is important to define what i mean by "disappear" - radio silence.

my bull would disappear (the longest about a month) in the very early stages of us getting to know one another and forming a friendship. i think there was one time in that period where i would reach out and i wouldn't get a response. when he disappeared for a month, he wouldn't say anything about it. we would pick up where we left off. it was the appropriate response, after all, we were only friends at that stage. during that one time when he didn't respond he apologised and explained why.

now in our relationship, he doesn't so much disappear but he might go quiet for a day or so. every time he goes quiet i know he is dealing with another issue in his life, either there is a problem he is grappling with or he is unwell. it's never about me so i don't take it personally. when he comes back he fills me in on the details.

during our relationship he has never disappeared where i couldn't get hold of him if i really wanted to. with that said, i give him a great deal of space and let him do his thing. he doesn't have to come back full of remorse because he knows i understand his mehtods and i don't really mind. i'll check in to see if he is ok and we go back to the way we were.
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If you're not in a committed monogamous relationship with him then he's just abiding by the rules of whatever situation you have together.

If it's a fwb situation then he's not disappearing. He's treating the situation as a friend that he has benefits with occasionally.

If you're in a real relationship where he's agreed to devoted, committed, monogamous and he's disappearing, that's a big issue. He's not being honest if he's treating the relationship with so much apathy and absence.

He may not be doing the disappearing act at all, just depends on what kind of situation you have with him.
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Posted by jeane
i can only speak from experience. i think it is important to define what i mean by "disappear" - radio silence.

my bull would disappear (the longest about a month) in the very early stages of us getting to know one another and forming a friendship. i think there was one time in that period where i would reach out and i wouldn't get a response. when he disappeared for a month, he wouldn't say another. we would pick up where we left off. it was the appropriate response, after all, we were only friends at that stage. during that one time when he didn't respond he apologised and explained why.

now in our relationship, he doesn't so much disappear but he might go quiet for a day or so. every time he goes quiet i know he is dealing with another issue in his life, either there is a problem he is grappling with or he is unwell. it's never about me so i don't take it personally. when he comes back he fills me in on the details.

during our relationship he has never disappeared where i couldn't get hold of him if i really wanted to. with that said, i give him a great deal of space and let him do his thing. he doesn't have to come back full of remorse because he knows i understand his mehtods and i don't really mind. i'll check in to see if he is ok and we go back to the way we were.

Best response!

1. Initial Dating -Caution- Feeling You Out-Instability-Checking for Consistencies vs Inconsistencies-Disappearing acts.

2. FWB- Consistent. Mutual contract. He's simply going along with the signed agreement. No disappearing acts needed. Just a mutual hook -up on his terms.

3. Relationship-Loyalty-Reliability-Consistency-Predictable-Loving -No Disappearing acts.
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i think it's also important to note what seems like a disappearing act to you, may, to him, is just following the natural organic progression of the relationship.

like everyone has said, it depends at what stage you are at and the dynamics of your relationship (friend, fwb, committed partners) to understand what you should be seeing.
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Posted by Instantkarma
But how do I get him to agree on an FWB contract?
Ps- I don't want to be his gf

you can't make anyone do anything they don't want to - especially a bull. if he is not interested in a fwb situation, then you should start looking somewhere else.
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Posted by Instantkarma
Posted by jeane
Posted by Instantkarma
But how do I get him to agree on an FWB contract?
Ps- I don't want to be his gf

you can't make anyone do anything they don't want to - especially a bull. if he is not interested in a fwb situation, then you should start looking somewhere else.

Even if he is terribly attracted to me? Had tried to make me his gf on numerous occasions? Even when I had a steady bf? Had told me he loves me and that I broke his heart? He didn't refuse to be my FWB, , when i told him I want to be with him and want him as an FWB,he agreed to meet me immediately but refused to say yes to an FWB situation! Guess he was ashamed to say yes to that question?
So how do I discuss the contract? Esp Boundaries?
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maybe he feels he couldn't agree to such an arrangement and understands that it would end with him being hurt.

i think it's unlikely that shame had anything to do with it.

why do you want a fwb relationship with him and nothing more?

(and contract? are you a robot?)
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@Instantkarma -- Maybe you should work on you if you're in a position to sacrifice self-respect for getting banged... Especially by a man who claims to have feelings for you. Seems incredibly selfish and malicious. Of course I am a Pisces and I do nothing without considering the Karmatic ripples of my decisions.

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Posted by Instantkarma
Contract as in don't call unless you want some sexy time, don't ask where I am, who I am with, no emotional ties, no sleep overs and above all safe sex!!! It is easy to discuss all these over text than in person right?

i think i am too old to help you. this whole situation is bizarre to me.

my old fashioned advice would be to wait until you have fully recovered from your past relationship before jumping into bed with someone else. they have feelings too. you can't just use people and then discard them when you've had enough.

so i'm passing the baton. maybe someone who understands this modern day phenomenon could advise you much better.

would this be your first fwb? i'll leave you some food for thought.

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All Of this information is informative and interesting!
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Posted by Instantkarma
I will never discard him, I respect him too much for that. I could never ever do that to him. To anyone else maybe yes, him? No Way.
Still, thank you for everything. You guys think I'm an evil gal,still he is the one who used to ask me for a kiss even when I was with my guy. I used to refuse or he would laugh it off. Also somehow he noted and said I'm not having any sex with my ex!! That's why I asked him. He could have said no. I asked him once but he didnt agree to an fwb but asked me to meet him, so I left it there. Didn't receive his calls even.

Apparently I suck at this. Rofl. Can't even get an FWB to start off hahaha!

i'm talking about you because you are the one here. what is the point me talking about him?

you respect him but you don't want him to call you unless it if for sex, don't want to hold any emotion for him and you have ignored his calls. that doesn't seem very respectful to me.

you're worrying about what is a red flag for a guy who is randomly sleeping with multiple women and encouraged you to cheat on your boyfriend.

i would repeat what maree said and wonder if this really is the best situation for you. you say you are possessive and clingy and needy, ie insecure and immature. there a lots of reasons why you don't seem ready for any sort of relationship be it fwb or something more.

it can't be just about the sex can it? if you are that hard up, stick to one night stands or buy a vibrator.
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My Virgo moon does not appreciate your lack of logic, lol... You seem quite young.

He treats you with indifference yet you want to fuck him... He disrespected you (and your ex) by pursuing you while you were attached, yet you respect him... And he's banging other women (which is just ew) If that's really the case, sounds like he's just playing you for a fool. Personally, I would stay away regardless.

I don't know why you want to be used so badly... Why don't you buy a vibrator, those things are fantastic. Amazon sells them... Pure Romance. You can get a full action dildo with bunny ears - then you can save your dignity and work on healing you (emotionally) without causing more damage by being a dumbass. Being alone and working on yourself is the best thing someone can do for themselves.

You're wandering down a destructive path... You said you were emotionally something or another due to your ex - Yet you want to jump into something that will inevitably make you feel like a stupid (foolish), dirty hoe....

I am trying to provide you with good advice smile Good luck!
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Posted by Instantkarma
Tell you what. I would love to be his girl friend. But I'm not at a great place. He has it all. Great family, good job, good friends, good behaviour, the entire package. I got nothing. I can't make him be kind or pity me. That I don't want. Like I said, I am messed up. I am not his equal now. It will take me years to reach his level.


then wait. it's better to wait to get your shit (and especially your head) together and give it your bet shot later than force something now and almost certainly fuck it up. fools rush in.

EDIT - do you want me to hide this?
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Posted by Instantkarma
Posted by jeane
Posted by Instantkarma
Tell you what. I would love to be his girl friend. But I'm not at a great place. He has it all. Great family, good job, good friends, good behaviour, the entire package. I got nothing. I can't make him be kind or pity me. That I don't want. Like I said, I am messed up. I am not his equal now. It will take me years to reach his level.


then wait. it's better to wait to get your shit (and especially your head) together and give it your bet shot later than force something now and almost certainly fuck it up. fools rush in.

EDIT - do you want me to hide this?

Jeane thanks a lot.
I will get my life sorted. I can do it. Now I got my ex out of my life, everything will be easier and much faster to get done. I knew I was messing up by asking him for an FWB.
But Jeane, what should I do now? I have apologised to him for asking him that. He replied," Why steal a piece of cake when the entire pastry shop is yours?" He is so funny and cute.
I asked him "will you wait?"
No reply
Sad

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of course you can do it. i have no doubt.

now, be friends. don't ask him to wait. concentrate on getting your life back on track. if he is there at the end great. if he is not, then you have a full life with an abundance of potential and opportunity. don't do something for someone else, do it for yourself then it doesn't matter what other people think or do.

once you do this, he will see you as someone of integrity and character and that, ironically, is how you win a bull.
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Wtf?

That is all...
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Posted by Instantkarma
He loves me Jeane. He said it. He said it in the most raw aggressive way. Whenever I think about him, I feel it in my stomach. I can't describe it, but it chokes me up. And I didn't say I love you to him, this is not the right time and I wanna say it without feeling guilty. He understands me now, those days we were kids. Now I know how much he loves me. I read yr reply after the phone call.
Oh I already asked him to wait @jeane. First time he started to open up without feeling I will hurt him. He asked me if my ex had left and if I'm alone. So I got suspicious(I thought he wanted to come over or something lol) he started to laugh and called me an idiot. After that we started to talk like before, I met him seven years ago, he has always stayed in touch throughout, even though I rejected him then, he is the sweetest guy ever. But bossy too. Very bossy with me. He kept asking me for kisses over the phone (??) and sounded very happy and sexy tooBig Grin
@jeane I think he doesn't wanna wait for all that, you know. Arrgh! From his voice I can tell. But I need time to sort out my life. And I asked him directly about "them", he said there won't be any " them" anymore,I didn't want to nag him but he had told me many months ago he can't have a gf that's why he has only fwbs.
So it will take me few months to become emotionally stable,once I'm there, I can kick ass. Like you all said,I will make him wait too. Won't hurt him. I'm happy I came here. My friend asked me to come here,she came here too late. Again thanks a lot Jeane. You are very good at this. Thank you so much for your kind reply and support.



so that is what he says. i hope he means it. now you need to wait and see if his actions reflect those words. it's easy to say the words so don't be easily bought by cheap utterances.

i bet he doesn't want to wait... wait until you are ready and if he is bossing you around at this stage, be even more cautious not to be swayed by him. they can be very convincing and charming.

i wish you all the best. i hope it works out for you and him. i'm glad my opinion helped you see a way forward.
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Posted by TaurusMen
I am new here and I have read a lot of the topics on Taurus men disappearing and reappearing without any kind of explanation. I've googled this topic in every way possible and there are years of these questions about taurus men. Not to mention Astro readings, personality traits, so on. However, on this site it seems to me that a lot of the responses are kind of defensive. Saying that the ladies either was intimate too soon, their nagging, he's not into you, taurus men don't like easy women, etc. But I just can't imagine that so many women around the world would be having this same issue. I've also read a recent topic asking if a Taurus could really be FWB? And a lot of responses was No, because they are too possessive. So to me it just seems a little contradicting.

A lot of advice that was given was to keep reaching out to him to reassure him that you are there for him and that he can trust you. Or just check on him once and a while to see if he's ok. My thing is if he has stopped communicating, then why keep trying to contact him only to be continuously be ignored?

So my questions is for the Taurus men that has actually did this who are willing to be honest as to why. If things are going good with the women you are attracted to or interested in, then why the silence? How long do you stay away? When you finally resurfaced, what did you say? What are your expectations of her when she have't heard from you in so long?


My last questions are for the ladies who had experienced with this issue from a Taurus guy. Once you decided to stop reaching out, how long did it take before he resurfaced? How did he act or what did he say?


Thanks in advanced guys!


I have experienced this very recently with my Taurus boyfriend. This topic actually brought me to this site.. So I am speaking from experience. Most of the time when he disappeared it was because he was dealing with something in his life and he likes to have time to himself to think and resolve it on his own. I have learned that he doesn't want anyone's help when it comes to his personal problems and he just needs time to reflect. Don't think for a second that during that time away from you he didn't miss you !! My Bull would go a week without me and I would give him his space and when I reached back out after allowing that time he would actually express how hard it was not talking to me.. To be with a Taurus you have to be extremely patient. I personally never gave up on him as you asked, I would just keep busy and allow him time to resolve what he was dealing with. The longest I ever went was a month and he is still thanking me for understanding that he needed to resolve a huge issue in his life. Since then we have never been apart and we are much closer and very in love. If you truly care for your guy just give him hi
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