Taurus Men - How to ignight the flame that never started?

Profile picture of MilaniKisses
Milani
@MilaniKisses
8 YearsVirgo

Comments: 16 · Posts: 487 · Topics: 93
Hi All,

So recently I talked to an Aqua guy who pretty much forced me to cut off all other guys while we were talking. I did so because of course I was highly interested in my Aqua guy. Unfortunately, one of the guys that I politely told I am no long 'single' (never officially exclusive with the Aqua guy), is one man I was really interested in and so happens to be a Taurus. When I told him that I wasn’t single, he took it really hard and told me that I am just like all the other girls that hurt him before. It hurt seeing this at the time because I wasn’t ready to lose contact with him. I couldn’t wrap my finger on him being so hurt though – we’ve only chatted and texted on the phone.

Anyway, when things ended with my Aqua guy, the Taurus man was the first person I texted. Being a stubborn bull, he wont give me a second chance at a possible relationship… he is just open to sex with me. He said he doesn’t trust anyone easily and by me letting him know that I was no longer single, he feels that I broke it…?

What are ways I can re-earn his interest in dating me again? I honestly feel that I didn’t do anything wrong before. We talked about dating before but never acted on it… Err, I don’t know what to do.
Profile picture of LentoBull91
LentoBull91
@LentoBull91
11 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 580 · Posts: 1507 · Topics: 1
Posted by MilaniKisses
Hi All,

So recently I talked to an Aqua guy who pretty much forced me to cut off all other guys while we were talking. I did so because of course I was highly interested in my Aqua guy. Unfortunately, one of the guys that I politely told I am no long 'single' (never officially exclusive with the Aqua guy), is one man I was really interested in and so happens to be a Taurus. When I told him that I wasn’t single, he took it really hard and told me that I am just like all the other girls that hurt him before. It hurt seeing this at the time because I wasn’t ready to lose contact with him. I couldn’t wrap my finger on him being so hurt though – we’ve only chatted and texted on the phone.

Anyway, when things ended with my Aqua guy, the Taurus man was the first person I texted. Being a stubborn bull, he wont give me a second chance at a possible relationship… he is just open to sex with me. He said he doesn’t trust anyone easily and by me letting him know that I was no longer single, he feels that I broke it…?

What are ways I can re-earn his interest in dating me again? I honestly feel that I didn’t do anything wrong before. We talked about dating before but never acted on it… Err, I don’t know what to do.



^^^^ one question did this Taurus guy know you were interested in that aqua guy when he was talking to you or did you keep him in the dark about the aqua.

Profile picture of jeane
jeane
@jeane
11 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 22 · Posts: 8048 · Topics: 36
Posted by blackmoon
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
Posted by blackmoon
take it slow and just tell him how you feel properly, don't be overly emotional either. it will take time, but it will eventually happen.
Trust me it won't....

Tauruses remember and bare grudges... He will ALWAYS remember how she passed him over for another guy so quickly. A guy she was not even exclusive with....

He will see her as weak and easily led. She should have had the guts to say to the aqua, this is my friend, don't control me. Lump it or like it... End of.

The Taurus has told her that he only now sees her as sex so if she is smart (which she isn't) she would take his word for it...
Well my taurus sis said to me that almost anything can be fixed in a relationship..Idk if that applies here as well

click to expand


I think that means once you are in the relationship. They forgive practicality everything (eventually).
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LentoBull91
@LentoBull91
11 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 580 · Posts: 1507 · Topics: 1
Posted by jeane
Posted by blackmoon
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
Posted by blackmoon
take it slow and just tell him how you feel properly, don't be overly emotional either. it will take time, but it will eventually happen.
Trust me it won't....

Tauruses remember and bare grudges... He will ALWAYS remember how she passed him over for another guy so quickly. A guy she was not even exclusive with....

He will see her as weak and easily led. She should have had the guts to say to the aqua, this is my friend, don't control me. Lump it or like it... End of.

The Taurus has told her that he only now sees her as sex so if she is smart (which she isn't) she would take his word for it...
Well my taurus sis said to me that almost anything can be fixed in a relationship..Idk if that applies here as well



I think that means once you are in the relationship. They forgive practicality everything (eventually).

click to expand


^^^ correct

Profile picture of jeane
jeane
@jeane
11 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 22 · Posts: 8048 · Topics: 36
Posted by blackmoon
Posted by jeane
Posted by blackmoon
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
Posted by blackmoon
take it slow and just tell him how you feel properly, don't be overly emotional either. it will take time, but it will eventually happen.
Trust me it won't....

Tauruses remember and bare grudges... He will ALWAYS remember how she passed him over for another guy so quickly. A guy she was not even exclusive with....

He will see her as weak and easily led. She should have had the guts to say to the aqua, this is my friend, don't control me. Lump it or like it... End of.

The Taurus has told her that he only now sees her as sex so if she is smart (which she isn't) she would take his word for it...
Well my taurus sis said to me that almost anything can be fixed in a relationship..Idk if that applies here as well



I think that means once you are in the relationship. They forgive practicality everything (eventually).


How about once you're not in a relationship? I broke up and got back together.. thanks to her

click to expand


From my understanding, I think it depends on why you broke up.

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Nameless Nemean
@Chuckcem
14 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 17 · Posts: 5119 · Topics: 78
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
Posted by blackmoon
take it slow and just tell him how you feel properly, don't be overly emotional either. it will take time, but it will eventually happen.
Trust me it won't....

Tauruses remember and bare grudges... He will ALWAYS remember how she passed him over for another guy so quickly. A guy she was not even exclusive with....

He will see her as weak and easily led. She should have had the guts to say to the aqua, this is my friend, don't control me. Lump it or like it... End of.

The Taurus has told her that he only now sees her as sex so if she is smart (which she isn't) she would take his word for it...
click to expand

Agreed. My Taurus friends have no problem burning a bridge once they feel slighted.
Profile picture of Chuckcem
Nameless Nemean
@Chuckcem
14 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 17 · Posts: 5119 · Topics: 78
Posted by MilaniKisses
Hi All,

So recently I talked to an Aqua guy who pretty much forced me to cut off all other guys while we were talking. I did so because of course I was highly interested in my Aqua guy. Unfortunately, one of the guys that I politely told I am no long 'single' (never officially exclusive with the Aqua guy), is one man I was really interested in and so happens to be a Taurus. When I told him that I wasn’t single, he took it really hard and told me that I am just like all the other girls that hurt him before. It hurt seeing this at the time because I wasn’t ready to lose contact with him. I couldn’t wrap my finger on him being so hurt though – we’ve only chatted and texted on the phone.

Anyway, when things ended with my Aqua guy, the Taurus man was the first person I texted. Being a stubborn bull, he wont give me a second chance at a possible relationship… he is just open to sex with me. He said he doesn’t trust anyone easily and by me letting him know that I was no longer single, he feels that I broke it…?

What are ways I can re-earn his interest in dating me again? I honestly feel that I didn’t do anything wrong before. We talked about dating before but never acted on it… Err, I don’t know what to do.


You need to give yourself a moment and not date anyone. Let's recap, you were talking to a Taurus guy who you ACTUALLY liked, allowed an Aqua guy to persuade you to stop talking to all men even though you two weren't exclusive (why?), then you tried to go back to the Taurus after the Aqua discarded you.

Granted you were only talking to the Taurus guy. "Technically" he shouldn't be upset with you since the two of you weren't exclusive or even dating. However if we're going to play the "technically" game then you shouldn't feel bad about the Aqua guy because you two weren't "technically" exclusive either. See the error here? You can't have it both ways.

Also Tauruses aren't dumb. I'm going to guess that when you were talking to the Taurus guy, you never mentioned the Aqua guy. Why would you? So when you suddenly told him that you were no longer single, it was a sudden slap to the face for him. It was too abrupt. Usually women will start to back away and say things like, "It's not working out" or "I think we should just be friends" in order to let the guy down easily. To go from having a rapport with a guy to telling him "I'm no longer single" is just jarring. It then appears as if you were never seriously interested in him and just looking for attention. He's left to assume there was another guy the entire time.

Taurus is a fixed sign, which means they see everything as black and white. The Taurus isn't rejecting you because he's being stubborn. The word "stubborn" connotes an "adamant refusal due to ignorance in spite of good information". The Taurus has all of the information he needs though. He's rejecting you because in his mind you are not a solid bet to him. For all he knows, you'll pull this stunt again.

To be fair though his reaction is a bit too serious for someone who has never dated you. If it were me (as another fixed sign) I'd be cordial and just have you come over to my place. I wouldn't take you out because I wouldn't be sure you were worth it. For all I know you could be just another flaky girl. So for the time being I'd treat you more like a fwb (which is basically what he proposed.)

Based on your actions, it appears you have no idea what you want though. You're clearly seeking stability of some sort, but don't have the appropriate compass for it. There was no reason to drop the Taurus guy at all, especially for another guy who couldn't guarantee you exclusivity. Next time don't let your emotions get override your logic. Be more diligent with your pre-approval process so you can weed out the wrong guys and stick with the right ones.
Profile picture of MilaniKisses
Milani
@MilaniKisses
8 YearsVirgo

Comments: 16 · Posts: 487 · Topics: 93
Posted by Chuckcem
Posted by MilaniKisses
Hi All,

So recently I talked to an Aqua guy who pretty much forced me to cut off all other guys while we were talking. I did so because of course I was highly interested in my Aqua guy. Unfortunately, one of the guys that I politely told I am no long 'single' (never officially exclusive with the Aqua guy), is one man I was really interested in and so happens to be a Taurus. When I told him that I wasn’t single, he took it really hard and told me that I am just like all the other girls that hurt him before. It hurt seeing this at the time because I wasn’t ready to lose contact with him. I couldn’t wrap my finger on him being so hurt though – we’ve only chatted and texted on the phone.

Anyway, when things ended with my Aqua guy, the Taurus man was the first person I texted. Being a stubborn bull, he wont give me a second chance at a possible relationship… he is just open to sex with me. He said he doesn’t trust anyone easily and by me letting him know that I was no longer single, he feels that I broke it…?

What are ways I can re-earn his interest in dating me again? I honestly feel that I didn’t do anything wrong before. We talked about dating before but never acted on it… Err, I don’t know what to do.


You need to give yourself a moment and not date anyone. Let's recap, you were talking to a Taurus guy who you ACTUALLY liked, allowed an Aqua guy to persuade you to stop talking to all men even though you two weren't exclusive (why?), then you tried to go back to the Taurus after the Aqua discarded you.

Granted you were only talking to the Taurus guy. "Technically" he shouldn't be upset with you since the two of you weren't exclusive or even dating. However if we're going to play the "technically" game then you shouldn't feel bad about the Aqua guy because you two weren't "technically" exclusive either. See the error here? You can't have it both ways.

Also Tauruses aren't dumb. I'm going to guess that when you were talking to the Taurus guy, you never mentioned the Aqua guy. Why would you? So when you suddenly told him that you were no longer single, it was a sudden slap to the face for him. It was too abrupt. Usually women will start to back away and say things like, "It's not working out" or "I think we should just be friends" in order to let the guy down easily. To go from having a rapport with a guy to telling him "I'm no longer single" is just jarring. It then appears as if you were never seriously interested in him and just looking for attention. He's left to assume there was another guy the entire time.

Taurus is a fixed sign, which means they see everything as black and white. The Taurus isn't rejecting you because he's being stubborn. The word "stubborn" connotes an "adamant refusal due to ignorance in spite of good information". The Taurus has all of the information he needs though. He's rejecting you because in his mind you are not a solid bet to him. For all he knows, you'll pull this stunt again.

To be fair though his reaction is a bit too serious for someone who has never dated you. If it were me (as another fixed sign) I'd be cordial and just have you come over to my place. I wouldn't take you out because I wouldn't be sure you were worth it. For all I know you could be just another flaky girl. So for the time being I'd treat you more like a fwb (which is basically what he proposed.)

Based on your actions, it appears you have no idea what you want though. You're clearly seeking stability of some sort, but don't have the appropriate compass for it. There was no reason to drop the Taurus guy at all, especially for another guy who couldn't guarantee you exclusivity. Next time don't let your emotions get override your logic. Be more diligent with your pre-approval process so you can weed out the wrong guys and stick with the right ones.
click to expand

Wow, thank you for your response. You really read me and the situation well and I apreciate that. So what now? Should I just give up on the Taurus guy since he will never sway in his decision about me? If yes, is there a way I should do it so I dont burn bridges with him?
Profile picture of Nefertari
Nefertari
@Nefertari
8 Years

Comments: 2 · Posts: 234 · Topics: 4
Posted by MilaniKisses
Posted by Chuckcem
Posted by MilaniKisses
Hi All,

So recently I talked to an Aqua guy who pretty much forced me to cut off all other guys while we were talking. I did so because of course I was highly interested in my Aqua guy. Unfortunately, one of the guys that I politely told I am no long 'single' (never officially exclusive with the Aqua guy), is one man I was really interested in and so happens to be a Taurus. When I told him that I wasn’t single, he took it really hard and told me that I am just like all the other girls that hurt him before. It hurt seeing this at the time because I wasn’t ready to lose contact with him. I couldn’t wrap my finger on him being so hurt though – we’ve only chatted and texted on the phone.

Anyway, when things ended with my Aqua guy, the Taurus man was the first person I texted. Being a stubborn bull, he wont give me a second chance at a possible relationship… he is just open to sex with me. He said he doesn’t trust anyone easily and by me letting him know that I was no longer single, he feels that I broke it…?

What are ways I can re-earn his interest in dating me again? I honestly feel that I didn’t do anything wrong before. We talked about dating before but never acted on it… Err, I don’t know what to do.


You need to give yourself a moment and not date anyone. Let's recap, you were talking to a Taurus guy who you ACTUALLY liked, allowed an Aqua guy to persuade you to stop talking to all men even though you two weren't exclusive (why?), then you tried to go back to the Taurus after the Aqua discarded you.

Granted you were only talking to the Taurus guy. "Technically" he shouldn't be upset with you since the two of you weren't exclusive or even dating. However if we're going to play the "technically" game then you shouldn't feel bad about the Aqua guy because you two weren't "technically" exclusive either. See the error here? You can't have it both ways.

Also Tauruses aren't dumb. I'm going to guess that when you were talking to the Taurus guy, you never mentioned the Aqua guy. Why would you? So when you suddenly told him that you were no longer single, it was a sudden slap to the face for him. It was too abrupt. Usually women will start to back away and say things like, "It's not working out" or "I think we should just be friends" in order to let the guy down easily. To go from having a rapport with a guy to telling him "I'm no longer single" is just jarring. It then appears as if you were never seriously interested in him and just looking for attention. He's left to assume there was another guy the entire time.

Taurus is a fixed sign, which means they see everything as black and white. The Taurus isn't rejecting you because he's being stubborn. The word "stubborn" connotes an "adamant refusal due to ignorance in spite of good information". The Taurus has all of the information he needs though. He's rejecting you because in his mind you are not a solid bet to him. For all he knows, you'll pull this stunt again.

To be fair though his reaction is a bit too serious for someone who has never dated you. If it were me (as another fixed sign) I'd be cordial and just have you come over to my place. I wouldn't take you out because I wouldn't be sure you were worth it. For all I know you could be just another flaky girl. So for the time being I'd treat you more like a fwb (which is basically what he proposed.)

Based on your actions, it appears you have no idea what you want though. You're clearly seeking stability of some sort, but don't have the appropriate compass for it. There was no reason to drop the Taurus guy at all, especially for another guy who couldn't guarantee you exclusivity. Next time don't let your emotions get override your logic. Be more diligent with your pre-approval process so you can weed out the wrong guys and stick with the right ones.
Wow, thank you for your response. You really read me and the situation well and I apreciate that. So what now? Should I just give up on the Taurus guy since he will never sway in his decision about me? If yes, is there a way I should do it so I dont burn bridges with him?

click to expand

You're not suitable for Taurus guys based on your way of handling things and your traits. You have displayed flakiness, so best to give up on the Taurus guys.

Even if he changed his mind, it's not going to last because you don't understand Taurus at all.

Profile picture of compy
Althea
@compy
8 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1058 · Topics: 9
While I was driving back home, I was thinking about what I was going to write here. I have too many ideas in my mind and I hope to write them all.

We all know @MilaniKisses for a while now, since she started posting on this forum about one month ago. In such a short time, we heard basically the same story three times - Libra guy until 20+ days ago, Aquarius guy until a few days ago, now Taurus guy. This girl is basically asking US how to behave and what her guys are like, because she cannot have the eyes to observe for herself. She is very concentrated on her own feelings, jumping easily from "soulmates" to "manipulative, dark side, deceiving", without knowing at all the guys she is trying to hit on. This is a very high level of insecurity that will lead her to nowhere, but only being hurt by her own mistakes again and again.

Dear Milani, I appreciate you a lot for the kind nature you have, but as Chuckcem said, you have to stop doing this to yourself and have a long break from dating until you clarify to yourself what kind of a man you need in your life. Take it slowly and seriously, try to find out as many things as possible about your prospect BEFORE deciding to hang out with him, check the consistency of the communication and see for real how many of your criteria are filled. Compatibility is the key. Forget about kisses, "miss you", baby names, cuddles and the L word, because these cloud the judgement! Stop confusing love with lust/falling in love/attraction! Love comes after years of being in a relationship, and not in an instant! A soulmate is that person that you love unconditionally, like you love your parents or your children, or your best friend and that actually brings the best in you without trying to change you! And it's reciprocal!

As for the Aquarian, things are clear. I believe he is trapped with his ex, tried to escape but she pulled him back in. He is immature, his ex is manipulative and she grabbed him. You cannot do anything, so please cut him off completely for your own sake. No normal girl will keep a baby and use it as an emotional blackmail, since they broke up four months ago, so there could be methods to avoid or end the pregnancy without risks. She knew he would come back because you mentioned his parents are quite strict and they may have forced him to assume his role of a father. And Aquas are very fond of their families.

Of course, we don't know the full story. How you ended up meeting, who initiated it and so on but this is no longer important. Just go on and learn to love yourself first and then love will find you for sure!
Profile picture of MilaniKisses
Milani
@MilaniKisses
8 YearsVirgo

Comments: 16 · Posts: 487 · Topics: 93
Posted by compy
While I was driving back home, I was thinking about what I was going to write here. I have too many ideas in my mind and I hope to write them all.

We all know @MilaniKisses for a while now, since she started posting on this forum about one month ago. In such a short time, we heard basically the same story three times - Libra guy until 20+ days ago, Aquarius guy until a few days ago, now Taurus guy. This girl is basically asking US how to behave and what her guys are like, because she cannot have the eyes to observe for herself. She is very concentrated on her own feelings, jumping easily from "soulmates" to "manipulative, dark side, deceiving", without knowing at all the guys she is trying to hit on. This is a very high level of insecurity that will lead her to nowhere, but only being hurt by her own mistakes again and again.

Dear Milani, I appreciate you a lot for the kind nature you have, but as Chuckcem said, you have to stop doing this to yourself and have a long break from dating until you clarify to yourself what kind of a man you need in your life. Take it slowly and seriously, try to find out as many things as possible about your prospect BEFORE deciding to hang out with him, check the consistency of the communication and see for real how many of your criteria are filled. Compatibility is the key. Forget about kisses, "miss you", baby names, cuddles and the L word, because these cloud the judgement! Stop confusing love with lust/falling in love/attraction! Love comes after years of being in a relationship, and not in an instant! A soulmate is that person that you love unconditionally, like you love your parents or your children, or your best friend and that actually brings the best in you without trying to change you! And it's reciprocal!

As for the Aquarian, things are clear. I believe he is trapped with his ex, tried to escape but she pulled him back in. He is immature, his ex is manipulative and she grabbed him. You cannot do anything, so please cut him off completely for your own sake. No normal girl will keep a baby and use it as an emotional blackmail, since they broke up four months ago, so there could be methods to avoid or end the pregnancy without risks. She knew he would come back because you mentioned his parents are quite strict and they may have forced him to assume his role of a father. And Aquas are very fond of their families.

Of course, we don't know the full story. How you ended up meeting, who initiated it and so on but this is no longer important. Just go on and learn to love yourself first and then love will find you for sure!
Thank you Compy. You're right about all you said above. I'm not sure if it makes a difference, but the dating world is much different for me than other straight people as I am a transgender female. I only date straight men - men who are open to dating exotic women as myself. These guys are a rare find, So when I do find one, I guess I hook onto them pretty quickly.
Profile picture of compy
Althea
@compy
8 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1058 · Topics: 9
Posted by MilaniKisses
Posted by compy
While I was driving back home, I was thinking about what I was going to write here. I have too many ideas in my mind and I hope to write them all.

We all know @MilaniKisses for a while now, since she started posting on this forum about one month ago. In such a short time, we heard basically the same story three times - Libra guy until 20+ days ago, Aquarius guy until a few days ago, now Taurus guy. This girl is basically asking US how to behave and what her guys are like, because she cannot have the eyes to observe for herself. She is very concentrated on her own feelings, jumping easily from "soulmates" to "manipulative, dark side, deceiving", without knowing at all the guys she is trying to hit on. This is a very high level of insecurity that will lead her to nowhere, but only being hurt by her own mistakes again and again.

Dear Milani, I appreciate you a lot for the kind nature you have, but as Chuckcem said, you have to stop doing this to yourself and have a long break from dating until you clarify to yourself what kind of a man you need in your life. Take it slowly and seriously, try to find out as many things as possible about your prospect BEFORE deciding to hang out with him, check the consistency of the communication and see for real how many of your criteria are filled. Compatibility is the key. Forget about kisses, "miss you", baby names, cuddles and the L word, because these cloud the judgement! Stop confusing love with lust/falling in love/attraction! Love comes after years of being in a relationship, and not in an instant! A soulmate is that person that you love unconditionally, like you love your parents or your children, or your best friend and that actually brings the best in you without trying to change you! And it's reciprocal!

As for the Aquarian, things are clear. I believe he is trapped with his ex, tried to escape but she pulled him back in. He is immature, his ex is manipulative and she grabbed him. You cannot do anything, so please cut him off completely for your own sake. No normal girl will keep a baby and use it as an emotional blackmail, since they broke up four months ago, so there could be methods to avoid or end the pregnancy without risks. She knew he would come back because you mentioned his parents are quite strict and they may have forced him to assume his role of a father. And Aquas are very fond of their families.

Of course, we don't know the full story. How you ended up meeting, who initiated it and so on but this is no longer important. Just go on and learn to love yourself first and then love will find you for sure!
Thank you Compy. You're right about all you said above. I'm not sure if it makes a difference, but the dating world is much different for me than other straight people as I am a transgender female. I only date straight men - men who are open to dating exotic women as myself. These guys are a rare find, So when I do find one, I guess I hook onto them pretty quickly.

click to expand

Wow! And do they know this detail before you meet them? Anyway, I assume that you take/took some hormone treatment to help you, which can actually make you more needy for affection. Please be careful with yourself and try to do as I say, or at least consider it to keep your feelings on guard better until you become emotionally balanced again. You are a fine woman 🙂
Profile picture of Nefertari
Nefertari
@Nefertari
8 Years

Comments: 2 · Posts: 234 · Topics: 4
Posted by MilaniKisses


Thank you Compy. You're right about all you said above. I'm not sure if it makes a difference, but the dating world is much different for me than other straight people as I am a transgender female. I only date straight men - men who are open to dating exotic women as myself. These guys are a rare find, So when I do find one, I guess I hook onto them pretty quickly.


I agree with Compy's analysis. Very thorough and understanding.

Thank you for being honest with us MilaniKisses. What you need to do is understand what you want first, know what you want out of a relationship and most importantly be confident of who you are. Don't hook onto the first guy who 'doesn't mind' you, cos that will cloud your judgement and you'd end up in bad relationships when you think in terms of neediness.

Build up your own identity and character first. That will help to attract the right people to you.

Perhaps start a strong friendship with these people first?

Profile picture of MilaniKisses
Milani
@MilaniKisses
8 YearsVirgo

Comments: 16 · Posts: 487 · Topics: 93
Posted by compy
Posted by MilaniKisses
Posted by compy
While I was driving back home, I was thinking about what I was going to write here. I have too many ideas in my mind and I hope to write them all.

We all know @MilaniKisses for a while now, since she started posting on this forum about one month ago. In such a short time, we heard basically the same story three times - Libra guy until 20+ days ago, Aquarius guy until a few days ago, now Taurus guy. This girl is basically asking US how to behave and what her guys are like, because she cannot have the eyes to observe for herself. She is very concentrated on her own feelings, jumping easily from "soulmates" to "manipulative, dark side, deceiving", without knowing at all the guys she is trying to hit on. This is a very high level of insecurity that will lead her to nowhere, but only being hurt by her own mistakes again and again.

Dear Milani, I appreciate you a lot for the kind nature you have, but as Chuckcem said, you have to stop doing this to yourself and have a long break from dating until you clarify to yourself what kind of a man you need in your life. Take it slowly and seriously, try to find out as many things as possible about your prospect BEFORE deciding to hang out with him, check the consistency of the communication and see for real how many of your criteria are filled. Compatibility is the key. Forget about kisses, "miss you", baby names, cuddles and the L word, because these cloud the judgement! Stop confusing love with lust/falling in love/attraction! Love comes after years of being in a relationship, and not in an instant! A soulmate is that person that you love unconditionally, like you love your parents or your children, or your best friend and that actually brings the best in you without trying to change you! And it's reciprocal!

As for the Aquarian, things are clear. I believe he is trapped with his ex, tried to escape but she pulled him back in. He is immature, his ex is manipulative and she grabbed him. You cannot do anything, so please cut him off completely for your own sake. No normal girl will keep a baby and use it as an emotional blackmail, since they broke up four months ago, so there could be methods to avoid or end the pregnancy without risks. She knew he would come back because you mentioned his parents are quite strict and they may have forced him to assume his role of a father. And Aquas are very fond of their families.

Of course, we don't know the full story. How you ended up meeting, who initiated it and so on but this is no longer important. Just go on and learn to love yourself first and then love will find you for sure!
Thank you Compy. You're right about all you said above. I'm not sure if it makes a difference, but the dating world is much different for me than other straight people as I am a transgender female. I only date straight men - men who are open to dating exotic women as myself. These guys are a rare find, So when I do find one, I guess I hook onto them pretty quickly.


Wow! And do they know this detail before you meet them? Anyway, I assume that you take/took some hormone treatment to help you, which can actually make you more needy for affection. Please be careful with yourself and try to do as I say, or at least consider it to keep your feelings on guard better until you become emotionally balanced again. You are a fine woman 🙂
click to expand

Yes the estrogen does make me more needy for affection. And yes, on my dating profile I clearly state that I am transgender, and if they are interested in me to state 'READ PROFILE' in their first message to me.

I love sharing to people about who I am and where I've started off in life. Life has been so much more fulfilling after discovering myself and having my transition. Before After Pics Below :

Image Not Found



Image Not Found
Profile picture of compy
Althea
@compy
8 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1058 · Topics: 9
Well, you being a transgender opens up a new light in your dating patterns, as well as about the minds of the guys you are dating. Your situation is not an ordinary one. The ones that responded were air signs because of our natural curiosity and openness, but I am not exactly convinced any of them considered a serious relationship till the end. Define yourself as a woman first, stand your ground and do not settle for less. Do not forget you became a woman and let them chase you 🙂
Profile picture of MilaniKisses
Milani
@MilaniKisses
8 YearsVirgo

Comments: 16 · Posts: 487 · Topics: 93
Posted by compy
Well, you being a transgender opens up a new light in your dating patterns, as well as about the minds of the guys you are dating. Your situation is not an ordinary one. The ones that responded were air signs because of our natural curiosity and openness, but I am not exactly convinced any of them considered a serious relationship till the end. Define yourself as a woman first, stand your ground and do not settle for less. Do not forget you became a woman and let them chase you 🙂
Thank you Compy for understanding and words of encouragement.
Profile picture of compy
Althea
@compy
8 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1058 · Topics: 9
Posted by MilaniKisses
Posted by compy
Well, you being a transgender opens up a new light in your dating patterns, as well as about the minds of the guys you are dating. Your situation is not an ordinary one. The ones that responded were air signs because of our natural curiosity and openness, but I am not exactly convinced any of them considered a serious relationship till the end. Define yourself as a woman first, stand your ground and do not settle for less. Do not forget you became a woman and let them chase you 🙂
Thank you Compy for understanding and words of encouragement.
click to expand

It's always a pleasure to meet special and pleasant people. Take care!

Profile picture of nikkistar
Lifelong Cat Lady
@nikkistar
9 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 7399 · Posts: 18799 · Topics: 84
First let me just say, I respect all Transgenders and their strength to live their truth. So congrats to you, for being the best you.

Now with that out of the way, and because I don't have a filter. You really need to stop and slow the fuck down. The guy jumping is not cute. It's as if you cannot be alone at all. The estrogen is not the sole catalyst that makes you "need" affection, that is your own personality doing so as well.

Slow the eff down and actually get to know people instead of just jumping from person to person.
Profile picture of MilaniKisses
Milani
@MilaniKisses
8 YearsVirgo

Comments: 16 · Posts: 487 · Topics: 93
Posted by nikkistar
First let me just say, I respect all Transgenders and their strength to live their truth. So congrats to you, for being the best you.

Now with that out of the way, and because I don't have a filter. You really need to stop and slow the fuck down. The guy jumping is not cute. It's as if you cannot be alone at all. The estrogen is not the sole catalyst that makes you "need" affection, that is your own personality doing so as well.

Slow the eff down and actually get to know people instead of just jumping from person to person.
Thank you Nikki - and I appreciate your straight forwardness.
Profile picture of nikkistar
Lifelong Cat Lady
@nikkistar
9 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 7399 · Posts: 18799 · Topics: 84
Posted by MilaniKisses
Posted by nikkistar
First let me just say, I respect all Transgenders and their strength to live their truth. So congrats to you, for being the best you.

Now with that out of the way, and because I don't have a filter. You really need to stop and slow the fuck down. The guy jumping is not cute. It's as if you cannot be alone at all. The estrogen is not the sole catalyst that makes you "need" affection, that is your own personality doing so as well.

Slow the eff down and actually get to know people instead of just jumping from person to person.
Thank you Nikki - and I appreciate your straight forwardness.
click to expand

No problem. You just need to remember its about quality, not quantity.

If you "speed" date, you will never meet someone that could be the "one" because you are too busy spreading your emotions out to thinly. Just be you, and slow down.
Profile picture of Chuckcem
Nameless Nemean
@Chuckcem
14 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 17 · Posts: 5119 · Topics: 78
Posted by MilaniKisses
Posted by Chuckcem
Posted by MilaniKisses
Hi All,

So recently I talked to an Aqua guy who pretty much forced me to cut off all other guys while we were talking. I did so because of course I was highly interested in my Aqua guy. Unfortunately, one of the guys that I politely told I am no long 'single' (never officially exclusive with the Aqua guy), is one man I was really interested in and so happens to be a Taurus. When I told him that I wasn’t single, he took it really hard and told me that I am just like all the other girls that hurt him before. It hurt seeing this at the time because I wasn’t ready to lose contact with him. I couldn’t wrap my finger on him being so hurt though – we’ve only chatted and texted on the phone.

Anyway, when things ended with my Aqua guy, the Taurus man was the first person I texted. Being a stubborn bull, he wont give me a second chance at a possible relationship… he is just open to sex with me. He said he doesn’t trust anyone easily and by me letting him know that I was no longer single, he feels that I broke it…?

What are ways I can re-earn his interest in dating me again? I honestly feel that I didn’t do anything wrong before. We talked about dating before but never acted on it… Err, I don’t know what to do.


You need to give yourself a moment and not date anyone. Let's recap, you were talking to a Taurus guy who you ACTUALLY liked, allowed an Aqua guy to persuade you to stop talking to all men even though you two weren't exclusive (why?), then you tried to go back to the Taurus after the Aqua discarded you.

Granted you were only talking to the Taurus guy. "Technically" he shouldn't be upset with you since the two of you weren't exclusive or even dating. However if we're going to play the "technically" game then you shouldn't feel bad about the Aqua guy because you two weren't "technically" exclusive either. See the error here? You can't have it both ways.

Also Tauruses aren't dumb. I'm going to guess that when you were talking to the Taurus guy, you never mentioned the Aqua guy. Why would you? So when you suddenly told him that you were no longer single, it was a sudden slap to the face for him. It was too abrupt. Usually women will start to back away and say things like, "It's not working out" or "I think we should just be friends" in order to let the guy down easily. To go from having a rapport with a guy to telling him "I'm no longer single" is just jarring. It then appears as if you were never seriously interested in him and just looking for attention. He's left to assume there was another guy the entire time.

Taurus is a fixed sign, which means they see everything as black and white. The Taurus isn't rejecting you because he's being stubborn. The word "stubborn" connotes an "adamant refusal due to ignorance in spite of good information". The Taurus has all of the information he needs though. He's rejecting you because in his mind you are not a solid bet to him. For all he knows, you'll pull this stunt again.

To be fair though his reaction is a bit too serious for someone who has never dated you. If it were me (as another fixed sign) I'd be cordial and just have you come over to my place. I wouldn't take you out because I wouldn't be sure you were worth it. For all I know you could be just another flaky girl. So for the time being I'd treat you more like a fwb (which is basically what he proposed.)

Based on your actions, it appears you have no idea what you want though. You're clearly seeking stability of some sort, but don't have the appropriate compass for it. There was no reason to drop the Taurus guy at all, especially for another guy who couldn't guarantee you exclusivity. Next time don't let your emotions get override your logic. Be more diligent with your pre-approval process so you can weed out the wrong guys and stick with the right ones.
Wow, thank you for your response. You really read me and the situation well and I apreciate that. So what now? Should I just give up on the Taurus guy since he will never sway in his decision about me? If yes, is there a way I should do it so I dont burn bridges with him?

click to expand

Well he's already told you want he wants. No amount of persuasion is really going to change his mind. If "sex only" isn't what you're looking for, then you'll just need to leave him alone. You can try to continue talking to him as a friend, but I'm sure he'll catch on pretty quick that friendship isn't your real goal. He may see right through it and get REALLY mad. Tauruses minds can be EXTREMELY hard to change once they form an opinion too, so the bridge may already be burned.
Profile picture of Chuckcem
Nameless Nemean
@Chuckcem
14 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 17 · Posts: 5119 · Topics: 78
Posted by MilaniKisses
Posted by compy
While I was driving back home, I was thinking about what I was going to write here. I have too many ideas in my mind and I hope to write them all.

We all know @MilaniKisses for a while now, since she started posting on this forum about one month ago. In such a short time, we heard basically the same story three times - Libra guy until 20+ days ago, Aquarius guy until a few days ago, now Taurus guy. This girl is basically asking US how to behave and what her guys are like, because she cannot have the eyes to observe for herself. She is very concentrated on her own feelings, jumping easily from "soulmates" to "manipulative, dark side, deceiving", without knowing at all the guys she is trying to hit on. This is a very high level of insecurity that will lead her to nowhere, but only being hurt by her own mistakes again and again.

Dear Milani, I appreciate you a lot for the kind nature you have, but as Chuckcem said, you have to stop doing this to yourself and have a long break from dating until you clarify to yourself what kind of a man you need in your life. Take it slowly and seriously, try to find out as many things as possible about your prospect BEFORE deciding to hang out with him, check the consistency of the communication and see for real how many of your criteria are filled. Compatibility is the key. Forget about kisses, "miss you", baby names, cuddles and the L word, because these cloud the judgement! Stop confusing love with lust/falling in love/attraction! Love comes after years of being in a relationship, and not in an instant! A soulmate is that person that you love unconditionally, like you love your parents or your children, or your best friend and that actually brings the best in you without trying to change you! And it's reciprocal!

As for the Aquarian, things are clear. I believe he is trapped with his ex, tried to escape but she pulled him back in. He is immature, his ex is manipulative and she grabbed him. You cannot do anything, so please cut him off completely for your own sake. No normal girl will keep a baby and use it as an emotional blackmail, since they broke up four months ago, so there could be methods to avoid or end the pregnancy without risks. She knew he would come back because you mentioned his parents are quite strict and they may have forced him to assume his role of a father. And Aquas are very fond of their families.

Of course, we don't know the full story. How you ended up meeting, who initiated it and so on but this is no longer important. Just go on and learn to love yourself first and then love will find you for sure!
Thank you Compy. You're right about all you said above. I'm not sure if it makes a difference, but the dating world is much different for me than other straight people as I am a transgender female. I only date straight men - men who are open to dating exotic women as myself. These guys are a rare find, So when I do find one, I guess I hook onto them pretty quickly.

click to expand

This is understandable, your dating pool is significantly smaller, so you feel the need to cling a lot faster to the men who accept you for who you are. Don't do this. Jumping into something too quickly can end with disastrous results. Also it defeats your initial cause, for someone to get to know you.
Profile picture of Chuckcem
Nameless Nemean
@Chuckcem
14 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 17 · Posts: 5119 · Topics: 78
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
Posted by Chuckcem
Posted by MilaniKisses
Posted by Chuckcem
Posted by MilaniKisses
Hi All,

So recently I talked to an Aqua guy who pretty much forced me to cut off all other guys while we were talking. I did so because of course I was highly interested in my Aqua guy. Unfortunately, one of the guys that I politely told I am no long 'single' (never officially exclusive with the Aqua guy), is one man I was really interested in and so happens to be a Taurus. When I told him that I wasn’t single, he took it really hard and told me that I am just like all the other girls that hurt him before. It hurt seeing this at the time because I wasn’t ready to lose contact with him. I couldn’t wrap my finger on him being so hurt though – we’ve only chatted and texted on the phone.

Anyway, when things ended with my Aqua guy, the Taurus man was the first person I texted. Being a stubborn bull, he wont give me a second chance at a possible relationship… he is just open to sex with me. He said he doesn’t trust anyone easily and by me letting him know that I was no longer single, he feels that I broke it…?

What are ways I can re-earn his interest in dating me again? I honestly feel that I didn’t do anything wrong before. We talked about dating before but never acted on it… Err, I don’t know what to do.


You need to give yourself a moment and not date anyone. Let's recap, you were talking to a Taurus guy who you ACTUALLY liked, allowed an Aqua guy to persuade you to stop talking to all men even though you two weren't exclusive (why?), then you tried to go back to the Taurus after the Aqua discarded you.

Granted you were only talking to the Taurus guy. "Technically" he shouldn't be upset with you since the two of you weren't exclusive or even dating. However if we're going to play the "technically" game then you shouldn't feel bad about the Aqua guy because you two weren't "technically" exclusive either. See the error here? You can't have it both ways.

Also Tauruses aren't dumb. I'm going to guess that when you were talking to the Taurus guy, you never mentioned the Aqua guy. Why would you? So when you suddenly told him that you were no longer single, it was a sudden slap to the face for him. It was too abrupt. Usually women will start to back away and say things like, "It's not working out" or "I think we should just be friends" in order to let the guy down easily. To go from having a rapport with a guy to telling him "I'm no longer single" is just jarring. It then appears as if you were never seriously interested in him and just looking for attention. He's left to assume there was another guy the entire time.

Taurus is a fixed sign, which means they see everything as black and white. The Taurus isn't rejecting you because he's being stubborn. The word "stubborn" connotes an "adamant refusal due to ignorance in spite of good information". The Taurus has all of the information he needs though. He's rejecting you because in his mind you are not a solid bet to him. For all he knows, you'll pull this stunt again.

To be fair though his reaction is a bit too serious for someone who has never dated you. If it were me (as another fixed sign) I'd be cordial and just have you come over to my place. I wouldn't take you out because I wouldn't be sure you were worth it. For all I know you could be just another flaky girl. So for the time being I'd treat you more like a fwb (which is basically what he proposed.)

Based on your actions, it appears you have no idea what you want though. You're clearly seeking stability of some sort, but don't have the appropriate compass for it. There was no reason to drop the Taurus guy at all, especially for another guy who couldn't guarantee you exclusivity. Next time don't let your emotions get override your logic. Be more diligent with your pre-approval process so you can weed out the wrong guys and stick with the right ones.
Wow, thank you for your response. You really read me and the situation well and I apreciate that. So what now? Should I just give up on the Taurus guy since he will never sway in his decision about me? If yes, is there a way I should do it so I dont burn bridges with him?


Well he's already told you want he wants. No amount of persuasion is really going to change his mind. If "sex only" isn't what you're looking for, then you'll just need to leave him alone. You can try to continue talking to him as a friend, but I'm sure he'll catch on pretty quick that friendship isn't your real goal. He may see right through it and get REALLY mad. Tauruses minds can be EXTREMELY hard to change once they form an opinion too, so the bridge may already be burned.
Also what I am afraid of is the OP still has his "man parts" the OP may only be "curious" and not looking for a serious relationship...
click to expand

Eh, the body parts don't change anything. Also taking estrogen is well beyond the curious phase. It takes more commitment to go through that process. Also physically transitioning is a huge step that takes years of emotional and psychological readjustment.

My advice would remain the same if OP was born a woman. In this scenario I will say though that it's best to be upfront with men about being trans in the beginning though to make sure they are comfortable.
Profile picture of lisabethur8
lisabeth
@lisabethur8
13 Years50,000+ Posts

Comments: 4373 · Posts: 50653 · Topics: 564
Posted by MilaniKisses
Posted by compy
Posted by MilaniKisses
Posted by compy
While I was driving back home, I was thinking about what I was going to write here. I have too many ideas in my mind and I hope to write them all.

We all know @MilaniKisses for a while now, since she started posting on this forum about one month ago. In such a short time, we heard basically the same story three times - Libra guy until 20+ days ago, Aquarius guy until a few days ago, now Taurus guy. This girl is basically asking US how to behave and what her guys are like, because she cannot have the eyes to observe for herself. She is very concentrated on her own feelings, jumping easily from "soulmates" to "manipulative, dark side, deceiving", without knowing at all the guys she is trying to hit on. This is a very high level of insecurity that will lead her to nowhere, but only being hurt by her own mistakes again and again.

Dear Milani, I appreciate you a lot for the kind nature you have, but as Chuckcem said, you have to stop doing this to yourself and have a long break from dating until you clarify to yourself what kind of a man you need in your life. Take it slowly and seriously, try to find out as many things as possible about your prospect BEFORE deciding to hang out with him, check the consistency of the communication and see for real how many of your criteria are filled. Compatibility is the key. Forget about kisses, "miss you", baby names, cuddles and the L word, because these cloud the judgement! Stop confusing love with lust/falling in love/attraction! Love comes after years of being in a relationship, and not in an instant! A soulmate is that person that you love unconditionally, like you love your parents or your children, or your best friend and that actually brings the best in you without trying to change you! And it's reciprocal!

As for the Aquarian, things are clear. I believe he is trapped with his ex, tried to escape but she pulled him back in. He is immature, his ex is manipulative and she grabbed him. You cannot do anything, so please cut him off completely for your own sake. No normal girl will keep a baby and use it as an emotional blackmail, since they broke up four months ago, so there could be methods to avoid or end the pregnancy without risks. She knew he would come back because you mentioned his parents are quite strict and they may have forced him to assume his role of a father. And Aquas are very fond of their families.

Of course, we don't know the full story. How you ended up meeting, who initiated it and so on but this is no longer important. Just go on and learn to love yourself first and then love will find you for sure!
Thank you Compy. You're right about all you said above. I'm not sure if it makes a difference, but the dating world is much different for me than other straight people as I am a transgender female. I only date straight men - men who are open to dating exotic women as myself. These guys are a rare find, So when I do find one, I guess I hook onto them pretty quickly.


Wow! And do they know this detail before you meet them? Anyway, I assume that you take/took some hormone treatment to help you, which can actually make you more needy for affection. Please be careful with yourself and try to do as I say, or at least consider it to keep your feelings on guard better until you become emotionally balanced again. You are a fine woman 🙂
Yes the estrogen does make me more needy for affection. And yes, on my dating profile I clearly state that I am transgender, and if they are interested in me to state 'READ PROFILE' in their first message to me.

I love sharing to people about who I am and where I've started off in life. Life has been so much more fulfilling after discovering myself and having my transition. Before After Pics Below :

Image Not Found



Image Not Found

click to expand



wow girl that is AMAZING!!!!

I don't know many or hardly any trans but that is awesome.

I knew one a long time ago when I was modeling during college, and wow you would NEVER have guessed.

so beautiful and classy.
Profile picture of MilaniKisses
Milani
@MilaniKisses
8 YearsVirgo

Comments: 16 · Posts: 487 · Topics: 93
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by MilaniKisses
Posted by compy
Posted by MilaniKisses
Posted by compy
While I was driving back home, I was thinking about what I was going to write here. I have too many ideas in my mind and I hope to write them all.

We all know @MilaniKisses for a while now, since she started posting on this forum about one month ago. In such a short time, we heard basically the same story three times - Libra guy until 20+ days ago, Aquarius guy until a few days ago, now Taurus guy. This girl is basically asking US how to behave and what her guys are like, because she cannot have the eyes to observe for herself. She is very concentrated on her own feelings, jumping easily from "soulmates" to "manipulative, dark side, deceiving", without knowing at all the guys she is trying to hit on. This is a very high level of insecurity that will lead her to nowhere, but only being hurt by her own mistakes again and again.

Dear Milani, I appreciate you a lot for the kind nature you have, but as Chuckcem said, you have to stop doing this to yourself and have a long break from dating until you clarify to yourself what kind of a man you need in your life. Take it slowly and seriously, try to find out as many things as possible about your prospect BEFORE deciding to hang out with him, check the consistency of the communication and see for real how many of your criteria are filled. Compatibility is the key. Forget about kisses, "miss you", baby names, cuddles and the L word, because these cloud the judgement! Stop confusing love with lust/falling in love/attraction! Love comes after years of being in a relationship, and not in an instant! A soulmate is that person that you love unconditionally, like you love your parents or your children, or your best friend and that actually brings the best in you without trying to change you! And it's reciprocal!

As for the Aquarian, things are clear. I believe he is trapped with his ex, tried to escape but she pulled him back in. He is immature, his ex is manipulative and she grabbed him. You cannot do anything, so please cut him off completely for your own sake. No normal girl will keep a baby and use it as an emotional blackmail, since they broke up four months ago, so there could be methods to avoid or end the pregnancy without risks. She knew he would come back because you mentioned his parents are quite strict and they may have forced him to assume his role of a father. And Aquas are very fond of their families.

Of course, we don't know the full story. How you ended up meeting, who initiated it and so on but this is no longer important. Just go on and learn to love yourself first and then love will find you for sure!
Thank you Compy. You're right about all you said above. I'm not sure if it makes a difference, but the dating world is much different for me than other straight people as I am a transgender female. I only date straight men - men who are open to dating exotic women as myself. These guys are a rare find, So when I do find one, I guess I hook onto them pretty quickly.


Wow! And do they know this detail before you meet them? Anyway, I assume that you take/took some hormone treatment to help you, which can actually make you more needy for affection. Please be careful with yourself and try to do as I say, or at least consider it to keep your feelings on guard better until you become emotionally balanced again. You are a fine woman 🙂
Yes the estrogen does make me more needy for affection. And yes, on my dating profile I clearly state that I am transgender, and if they are interested in me to state 'READ PROFILE' in their first message to me.

I love sharing to people about who I am and where I've started off in life. Life has been so much more fulfilling after discovering myself and having my transition. Before After Pics Below :

Image Not Found



Image Not Found




wow girl that is AMAZING!!!!

I don't know many or hardly any trans but that is awesome.

I knew one a long time ago when I was modeling during college, and wow you would NEVER have guessed.

so beautiful and classy.

click to expand

Thank you!!! It's been a journey! I'm very happy with my results.
Profile picture of MilaniKisses
Milani
@MilaniKisses
8 YearsVirgo

Comments: 16 · Posts: 487 · Topics: 93
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
Posted by MilaniKisses
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
I don't know anything about transgenders. Have you had the full OP?
Yes, I was born a male. And yes I let every guy I talk to know that Im a trans female.
So you don't have your "man bits" any more?

Sorry for personal questions....
click to expand

Wow, that's highly personal and quite ignorant to ask. Straight men who date me, don't consider it 'man bits' ... they see my as a woman with a different reproductive system- no gender label on it.
Profile picture of jeane
jeane
@jeane
11 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 22 · Posts: 8048 · Topics: 36
Posted by Chuckcem
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
Posted by Chuckcem
Posted by MilaniKisses
Posted by Chuckcem
Posted by MilaniKisses
Hi All,

So recently I talked to an Aqua guy who pretty much forced me to cut off all other guys while we were talking. I did so because of course I was highly interested in my Aqua guy. Unfortunately, one of the guys that I politely told I am no long 'single' (never officially exclusive with the Aqua guy), is one man I was really interested in and so happens to be a Taurus. When I told him that I wasn’t single, he took it really hard and told me that I am just like all the other girls that hurt him before. It hurt seeing this at the time because I wasn’t ready to lose contact with him. I couldn’t wrap my finger on him being so hurt though – we’ve only chatted and texted on the phone.

Anyway, when things ended with my Aqua guy, the Taurus man was the first person I texted. Being a stubborn bull, he wont give me a second chance at a possible relationship… he is just open to sex with me. He said he doesn’t trust anyone easily and by me letting him know that I was no longer single, he feels that I broke it…?

What are ways I can re-earn his interest in dating me again? I honestly feel that I didn’t do anything wrong before. We talked about dating before but never acted on it… Err, I don’t know what to do.


You need to give yourself a moment and not date anyone. Let's recap, you were talking to a Taurus guy who you ACTUALLY liked, allowed an Aqua guy to persuade you to stop talking to all men even though you two weren't exclusive (why?), then you tried to go back to the Taurus after the Aqua discarded you.

Granted you were only talking to the Taurus guy. "Technically" he shouldn't be upset with you since the two of you weren't exclusive or even dating. However if we're going to play the "technically" game then you shouldn't feel bad about the Aqua guy because you two weren't "technically" exclusive either. See the error here? You can't have it both ways.

Also Tauruses aren't dumb. I'm going to guess that when you were talking to the Taurus guy, you never mentioned the Aqua guy. Why would you? So when you suddenly told him that you were no longer single, it was a sudden slap to the face for him. It was too abrupt. Usually women will start to back away and say things like, "It's not working out" or "I think we should just be friends" in order to let the guy down easily. To go from having a rapport with a guy to telling him "I'm no longer single" is just jarring. It then appears as if you were never seriously interested in him and just looking for attention. He's left to assume there was another guy the entire time.

Taurus is a fixed sign, which means they see everything as black and white. The Taurus isn't rejecting you because he's being stubborn. The word "stubborn" connotes an "adamant refusal due to ignorance in spite of good information". The Taurus has all of the information he needs though. He's rejecting you because in his mind you are not a solid bet to him. For all he knows, you'll pull this stunt again.

To be fair though his reaction is a bit too serious for someone who has never dated you. If it were me (as another fixed sign) I'd be cordial and just have you come over to my place. I wouldn't take you out because I wouldn't be sure you were worth it. For all I know you could be just another flaky girl. So for the time being I'd treat you more like a fwb (which is basically what he proposed.)

Based on your actions, it appears you have no idea what you want though. You're clearly seeking stability of some sort, but don't have the appropriate compass for it. There was no reason to drop the Taurus guy at all, especially for another guy who couldn't guarantee you exclusivity. Next time don't let your emotions get override your logic. Be more diligent with your pre-approval process so you can weed out the wrong guys and stick with the right ones.
Wow, thank you for your response. You really read me and the situation well and I apreciate that. So what now? Should I just give up on the Taurus guy since he will never sway in his decision about me? If yes, is there a way I should do it so I dont burn bridges with him?


Well he's already told you want he wants. No amount of persuasion is really going to change his mind. If "sex only" isn't what you're looking for, then you'll just need to leave him alone. You can try to continue talking to him as a friend, but I'm sure he'll catch on pretty quick that friendship isn't your real goal. He may see right through it and get REALLY mad. Tauruses minds can be EXTREMELY hard to change once they form an opinion too, so the bridge may already be burned.
Also what I am afraid of is the OP still has his "man parts" the OP may only be "curious" and not looking for a serious relationship...
Eh, the body parts don't change anything. Also taking estrogen is well beyond the curious phase. It takes more commitment to go through that process. Also physically transitioning is a huge step that takes years of emotional and psychological readjustment.

My advice would remain the same if OP was born a woman. In this scenario I will say though that it's best to be upfront with men about being trans in the beginning though to make sure they are comfortable.
click to expand

I would argue that estrogen doesn't make you clingy for affection either. Thats as offensive as saying all women are automatically maternal for the sheer fact that they produce eggs.
Profile picture of Chuckcem
Nameless Nemean
@Chuckcem
14 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 17 · Posts: 5119 · Topics: 78
Posted by jeane
Posted by Chuckcem
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
Posted by Chuckcem
Posted by MilaniKisses
Posted by Chuckcem
Posted by MilaniKisses
Hi All,

So recently I talked to an Aqua guy who pretty much forced me to cut off all other guys while we were talking. I did so because of course I was highly interested in my Aqua guy. Unfortunately, one of the guys that I politely told I am no long 'single' (never officially exclusive with the Aqua guy), is one man I was really interested in and so happens to be a Taurus. When I told him that I wasn’t single, he took it really hard and told me that I am just like all the other girls that hurt him before. It hurt seeing this at the time because I wasn’t ready to lose contact with him. I couldn’t wrap my finger on him being so hurt though – we’ve only chatted and texted on the phone.

Anyway, when things ended with my Aqua guy, the Taurus man was the first person I texted. Being a stubborn bull, he wont give me a second chance at a possible relationship… he is just open to sex with me. He said he doesn’t trust anyone easily and by me letting him know that I was no longer single, he feels that I broke it…?

What are ways I can re-earn his interest in dating me again? I honestly feel that I didn’t do anything wrong before. We talked about dating before but never acted on it… Err, I don’t know what to do.


You need to give yourself a moment and not date anyone. Let's recap, you were talking to a Taurus guy who you ACTUALLY liked, allowed an Aqua guy to persuade you to stop talking to all men even though you two weren't exclusive (why?), then you tried to go back to the Taurus after the Aqua discarded you.

Granted you were only talking to the Taurus guy. "Technically" he shouldn't be upset with you since the two of you weren't exclusive or even dating. However if we're going to play the "technically" game then you shouldn't feel bad about the Aqua guy because you two weren't "technically" exclusive either. See the error here? You can't have it both ways.

Also Tauruses aren't dumb. I'm going to guess that when you were talking to the Taurus guy, you never mentioned the Aqua guy. Why would you? So when you suddenly told him that you were no longer single, it was a sudden slap to the face for him. It was too abrupt. Usually women will start to back away and say things like, "It's not working out" or "I think we should just be friends" in order to let the guy down easily. To go from having a rapport with a guy to telling him "I'm no longer single" is just jarring. It then appears as if you were never seriously interested in him and just looking for attention. He's left to assume there was another guy the entire time.

Taurus is a fixed sign, which means they see everything as black and white. The Taurus isn't rejecting you because he's being stubborn. The word "stubborn" connotes an "adamant refusal due to ignorance in spite of good information". The Taurus has all of the information he needs though. He's rejecting you because in his mind you are not a solid bet to him. For all he knows, you'll pull this stunt again.

To be fair though his reaction is a bit too serious for someone who has never dated you. If it were me (as another fixed sign) I'd be cordial and just have you come over to my place. I wouldn't take you out because I wouldn't be sure you were worth it. For all I know you could be just another flaky girl. So for the time being I'd treat you more like a fwb (which is basically what he proposed.)

Based on your actions, it appears you have no idea what you want though. You're clearly seeking stability of some sort, but don't have the appropriate compass for it. There was no reason to drop the Taurus guy at all, especially for another guy who couldn't guarantee you exclusivity. Next time don't let your emotions get override your logic. Be more diligent with your pre-approval process so you can weed out the wrong guys and stick with the right ones.
Wow, thank you for your response. You really read me and the situation well and I apreciate that. So what now? Should I just give up on the Taurus guy since he will never sway in his decision about me? If yes, is there a way I should do it so I dont burn bridges with him?


Well he's already told you want he wants. No amount of persuasion is really going to change his mind. If "sex only" isn't what you're looking for, then you'll just need to leave him alone. You can try to continue talking to him as a friend, but I'm sure he'll catch on pretty quick that friendship isn't your real goal. He may see right through it and get REALLY mad. Tauruses minds can be EXTREMELY hard to change once they form an opinion too, so the bridge may already be burned.
Also what I am afraid of is the OP still has his "man parts" the OP may only be "curious" and not looking for a serious relationship...
Eh, the body parts don't change anything. Also taking estrogen is well beyond the curious phase. It takes more commitment to go through that process. Also physically transitioning is a huge step that takes years of emotional and psychological readjustment.

My advice would remain the same if OP was born a woman. In this scenario I will say though that it's best to be upfront with men about being trans in the beginning though to make sure they are comfortable.
I would argue that estrogen doesn't make you clingy for affection either. Thats as offensive as saying all women are automatically maternal for the sheer fact that they produce eggs.
click to expand

I never said estrogen made a person more clingy. Were you referring to OP's comment earlier?
Profile picture of jeane
jeane
@jeane
11 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 22 · Posts: 8048 · Topics: 36
Posted by Chuckcem
Posted by jeane
Posted by Chuckcem
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
Posted by Chuckcem
Posted by MilaniKisses
Posted by Chuckcem
Posted by MilaniKisses
Hi All,

So recently I talked to an Aqua guy who pretty much forced me to cut off all other guys while we were talking. I did so because of course I was highly interested in my Aqua guy. Unfortunately, one of the guys that I politely told I am no long 'single' (never officially exclusive with the Aqua guy), is one man I was really interested in and so happens to be a Taurus. When I told him that I wasn’t single, he took it really hard and told me that I am just like all the other girls that hurt him before. It hurt seeing this at the time because I wasn’t ready to lose contact with him. I couldn’t wrap my finger on him being so hurt though – we’ve only chatted and texted on the phone.

Anyway, when things ended with my Aqua guy, the Taurus man was the first person I texted. Being a stubborn bull, he wont give me a second chance at a possible relationship… he is just open to sex with me. He said he doesn’t trust anyone easily and by me letting him know that I was no longer single, he feels that I broke it…?

What are ways I can re-earn his interest in dating me again? I honestly feel that I didn’t do anything wrong before. We talked about dating before but never acted on it… Err, I don’t know what to do.


You need to give yourself a moment and not date anyone. Let's recap, you were talking to a Taurus guy who you ACTUALLY liked, allowed an Aqua guy to persuade you to stop talking to all men even though you two weren't exclusive (why?), then you tried to go back to the Taurus after the Aqua discarded you.

Granted you were only talking to the Taurus guy. "Technically" he shouldn't be upset with you since the two of you weren't exclusive or even dating. However if we're going to play the "technically" game then you shouldn't feel bad about the Aqua guy because you two weren't "technically" exclusive either. See the error here? You can't have it both ways.

Also Tauruses aren't dumb. I'm going to guess that when you were talking to the Taurus guy, you never mentioned the Aqua guy. Why would you? So when you suddenly told him that you were no longer single, it was a sudden slap to the face for him. It was too abrupt. Usually women will start to back away and say things like, "It's not working out" or "I think we should just be friends" in order to let the guy down easily. To go from having a rapport with a guy to telling him "I'm no longer single" is just jarring. It then appears as if you were never seriously interested in him and just looking for attention. He's left to assume there was another guy the entire time.

Taurus is a fixed sign, which means they see everything as black and white. The Taurus isn't rejecting you because he's being stubborn. The word "stubborn" connotes an "adamant refusal due to ignorance in spite of good information". The Taurus has all of the information he needs though. He's rejecting you because in his mind you are not a solid bet to him. For all he knows, you'll pull this stunt again.

To be fair though his reaction is a bit too serious for someone who has never dated you. If it were me (as another fixed sign) I'd be cordial and just have you come over to my place. I wouldn't take you out because I wouldn't be sure you were worth it. For all I know you could be just another flaky girl. So for the time being I'd treat you more like a fwb (which is basically what he proposed.)

Based on your actions, it appears you have no idea what you want though. You're clearly seeking stability of some sort, but don't have the appropriate compass for it. There was no reason to drop the Taurus guy at all, especially for another guy who couldn't guarantee you exclusivity. Next time don't let your emotions get override your logic. Be more diligent with your pre-approval process so you can weed out the wrong guys and stick with the right ones.
Wow, thank you for your response. You really read me and the situation well and I apreciate that. So what now? Should I just give up on the Taurus guy since he will never sway in his decision about me? If yes, is there a way I should do it so I dont burn bridges with him?


Well he's already told you want he wants. No amount of persuasion is really going to change his mind. If "sex only" isn't what you're looking for, then you'll just need to leave him alone. You can try to continue talking to him as a friend, but I'm sure he'll catch on pretty quick that friendship isn't your real goal. He may see right through it and get REALLY mad. Tauruses minds can be EXTREMELY hard to change once they form an opinion too, so the bridge may already be burned.
Also what I am afraid of is the OP still has his "man parts" the OP may only be "curious" and not looking for a serious relationship...
Eh, the body parts don't change anything. Also taking estrogen is well beyond the curious phase. It takes more commitment to go through that process. Also physically transitioning is a huge step that takes years of emotional and psychological readjustment.

My advice would remain the same if OP was born a woman. In this scenario I will say though that it's best to be upfront with men about being trans in the beginning though to make sure they are comfortable.
I would argue that estrogen doesn't make you clingy for affection either. Thats as offensive as saying all women are automatically maternal for the sheer fact that they produce eggs.
I never said estrogen made a person more clingy. Were you referring to OP's comment earlier?
click to expand

Yes, I was referring to her comments. I agree with your advice. Sorry chuck, I misquoted you. I should have quoted nikkistar.
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Milani
@MilaniKisses
8 YearsVirgo

Comments: 16 · Posts: 487 · Topics: 93
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
Posted by MilaniKisses
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
Posted by MilaniKisses
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
I don't know anything about transgenders. Have you had the full OP?
Yes, I was born a male. And yes I let every guy I talk to know that Im a trans female.
So you don't have your "man bits" any more?

Sorry for personal questions....
Wow, that's highly personal and quite ignorant to ask. Straight men who date me, don't consider it 'man bits' ... they see my as a woman with a different reproductive system- no gender label on it.


What I was merely trying to ask in a delicate way as possible is that as you were born a man and decided to become a woman, did you have the full surgery...

The reason why I asked is because I feared that some men may see this as exotic to have a "woman" who has not had the full surgery yet.. Ie "man bits"... That's all!
click to expand

You would be surprised how many straight men are out there that prefer pre-op transgender females. However, many of them are not open about it.
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Nefertari
@Nefertari
8 Years

Comments: 2 · Posts: 234 · Topics: 4
Posted by MilaniKisses
Posted by nikkistar
First let me just say, I respect all Transgenders and their strength to live their truth. So congrats to you, for being the best you.

Now with that out of the way, and because I don't have a filter. You really need to stop and slow the fuck down. The guy jumping is not cute. It's as if you cannot be alone at all. The estrogen is not the sole catalyst that makes you "need" affection, that is your own personality doing so as well.

Slow the eff down and actually get to know people instead of just jumping from person to person.
Thank you Nikki - and I appreciate your straight forwardness.
click to expand

Before and After, you are completely beautiful!! The doctor has done an amazing job.

I do know transgender celebrities who have found love and fame. They are very confident and comfortable with who they are and not afraid of letting others know them. Good that you show us your pictures 🙂 You should be quite confident with yourself right? No reason not to be.

I can understand where you are coming from. There certainly would be judgemental people around and the dating pool would definitely be smaller.

The celebrity who has opened up said she still has his male parts so she couldn't perform the sexual act with her husband, but they're still great together. Her husband is supportive of her.

In your first few posts, you do sound confused with dating and who you want. But I thought as a male before, you'd know how they think?

You sound needy and desperate......that is bad. No need to be that. Think of it this way, if you can't find the guy you're looking for or if he gets away, you should be completely secure by yourself and being single. This will bring you a lot of assurance.





Profile picture of Nefertari
Nefertari
@Nefertari
8 Years

Comments: 2 · Posts: 234 · Topics: 4
Posted by MilaniKisses
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
Posted by MilaniKisses
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
I don't know anything about transgenders. Have you had the full OP?
Yes, I was born a male. And yes I let every guy I talk to know that Im a trans female.
So you don't have your "man bits" any more?

Sorry for personal questions....
Wow, that's highly personal and quite ignorant to ask. Straight men who date me, don't consider it 'man bits' ... they see my as a woman with a different reproductive system- no gender label on it.

click to expand

If you know Baptist, she's a very upfront person and will throw the truth in anyone's face. I'm sure she'd have no qualms calling me dumb, stupid or crazy when the occasion calls for it.

In this case, she is asking for a fact which will influence the advice she gives.

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Nefertari
@Nefertari
8 Years

Comments: 2 · Posts: 234 · Topics: 4
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
I am a bull myself and I wouldn't blame him... What his is his and what is mine is mine..... 50/50 in relationships.

Pre nupts only hurt those who don't work or provide for themselves and are looking for someone else to provide it for them... U will find this attitude mainly with the fire and air signs...
Definitely agree with you here. I have the same attitude. Good to have the pre and the post so that everything is laid out clearly beforehand. Women should be able to provide ourselves.

While the agreement is a protection in case things go sour, it won't matter that much if the two are deeply in love and will never part.

Didn't Michael Douglas tear away the agreement that he drew up with Catherine-Zeta-Jones? That is one of the greatest and most touching power couple in Hollywood.