This taurus man (30) I met online treats me (f/21) like shit. I'm so stupid that I don't let it go.

Met three months back, just casual, I was smart, talkative, kept him conversing, made memes, was funny, lowkey depressed, desperate, never had a relationship and internet was my only escape. We talked for a few weeks, he didn't tell me (Gemini, did I mention?) [Astrology in worthless in my situation, but this is an astrology site so I'm just adding in] that he was in a relationship but was old enough so I guessed he was. We didn't talk about relationships, I sometimes flirted to which he didn't reply excitingly or just declined. A few days later, we were talking about our government and he goes mad and says I can only make memes, don't understand anything and he doesn't care about me anymore. I said sorry, he did too after a few hours, and we didn't text for almost a month.

This December, I saw his missed call, asked if he'd called me, he said he did accidentally. I said I was afraid he didn't want to talk to me and confessed my attraction. He wasn't too excited but he said he felt attracted too. I asked, then he told me he was in a 6 year old relationship and his girlfriend and him had agreed to see other people, they don't want to get married. Sneaky bit here: I played a trick, made an alternate account and talked to him anonymously. Asked him if he was single, he said no. Asked him when he'd settle with his girlfriend, he said after he gets his career on track--so that means he was in a relationship.

Here, on my own account, he told me that he didn't want to settle with a particular person and wants me for a "good conversation". I was very honest about my thoughts and told him "you didn't break up, she's still exclusive to you" today. He said, "she is, but not because I asked her to", then, "it's her choice", then, "as far as you're concerned I'll make it clear that I don't want a traditional relationship".

So, my friends, this man wants me for "good conversations online". I said he wasn't getting what he wanted from his girlfriend (i.e., she was boring) that's why he was looking for "conversations" elsewhere, to which he said I was entirely wrong (said he'd changed with time, still cared about his girlfriend, they travel together), and that, "he's had enough already". He agreed that he's chatted with a lot of people online.

I'm only holding onto him because he's studying at a top engineering college in our country. He's not really bright, or maybe I'm not able to assess, but his credentials are appealing, but it feels like he wants me for "conversations", which seems absurd to me. Why will I just talk to you for your entertainment while you've a girlfriend? I was vulnerable and I let this happen till now. I feel so sorry for myself and all this online chatting thing I've done. I've wasted a lot of time, efforts, and imagination on him.

So, at the end, he kept his relationship secret from me, agreed to date me but not "traditionally", wants to converse with me. What are your thoughts about this, fellas? I've decided to ignore him from now onwards. All I can see is that he just wants a friend who keeps talking to me, who he can be a shit too (hey, he doesn't respect me a lot, give one word answers, not open up, etc), whereas I'm just desperate and I'm afraid I'll look desperate too.

I'm so sorry for this long message..

Thank you, I'm sorry I got too emotional and wrote all that.

The thing that he's a girlfriend (who he still "cares about"), studies at a top college and ignores me/takes me lightly/is arrogant just keeps me "hooked" and wants me to keep chasing him/want something to happen

Posted by PostHuman

I’m not gonna bother reading but ima drop you this gem

Dudes not worth any type of emotional investment and what would be better for you ultimately is to accept that. No need to do this to yourself.

I think I can order tacos now

Oh, how do I reply to a comment...

"Thank you, I'm sorry I got too emotional and wrote all that.

The thing that he's a girlfriend (who he still "cares about"), studies at a top college and ignores me/takes me lightly/is arrogant just keeps me "hooked" and wants me to keep chasing him/want something to happen"

hey, I'd like to add in that wanting to date him because he's in a top college is very selfish, desperate of me. He says he doesn't have a lot of money, but what keeps me hooked is the "intelligence" that comes with him

i wouldn't say that wanting him to date him because he is in a top college is selfish, more it is superficial.

if you are after just someone who attends there, why not just post an ad on campus.

"single, 21 f looking for anyone with a student card"

i mean yes, the self depreciating shtick is cute and all but i don't know why you would be desperate at 21. you're 21! desperate for what? marriage? sex? babies? someone to take home? someone to take you out?

it sounds like you still have a little bit of growing up to do. by all means date (and date many different men) but my advice would be not to get too serious with anyone at this stage. give it a few years.

Posted by SeeMeNot

hey, I'd like to add in that wanting to date him because he's in a top college is very selfish, desperate of me. He says he doesn't have a lot of money, but what keeps me hooked is the "intelligence" that comes with him

He’s 30/30+ still trying to get a degree. What a dumb loser.

Your wasting yourself on an online idiot. Go get a flesh and blood man who is single.

Pro tip: when dating avoid the dudes who have gf/fiancés/wives. Playing for the end game, otherwise what’s the point?

Ps: all a ‘top’ collage represents is more student loans aka debt.

Has virtually nothing to do with how much money or how successful he’ll be in the real world. No one gives a shit about that out here.