Too Many Taurus May Not Be A Good Thing...LOL!

This topic was created in the Taurus forum by Lovelyisis on Wednesday, April 15, 2015 and has 25 replies.
First let me say I am a Virgo Sun...Cancer Moon...Cancer Ascendant.
Flashback....1st true love was a Taurus, May 13th, together 5yrs throughout late teens until he unfortunately passed away. He & I even went back n forth just a bit in our relationship but could never get away from each other....loved each other too much. Fought once a year and always made up no less than 2 - 3 days later....just our routine. We were living together when he passed and it took me approx 2 yrs to get over.
Moving forward, I was with a Cancer 8yrs...loved him dearly...but never fell in love with him....and a Capricorn for 4yrs....absolutely fell in love with him. Both relationships I ended....the Cancer for cheating.....the Capricorn "just because" or maybe his job just kept moving us around too much and I was tired of it ...no real reason though. Am great friends with both to this day.
Have always been a bit independent and a bit of a butterfly with dating men....I give my all emotionally but tend to either get bored and/or fed up w/ not meeting "my" standards and end up walking away & justifying it (typical Virgo). However, 20+ yrs passed and not 1 Taurus, not even attracted to another 1 since my 1st, and all of a sudden they've been coming out the woodwork since 2012! Have had 2 brief encounters with 2 of them in 2012 and have been dating my 3rd one of & on since 2013, mostly because of both of our situations. My 3rd one is a bit unique...met online....talked for a couple months...thought it was going to be all fun becuz that's how both of us set it up...and it went down a dangerous emotional path too dam quickly! Found out after we talked for a month or so that his birthday was also "MAY 13th", same as my 1st and really made me hesitate to jump in....but us Virgos are always too dam curious sometimes...lol...so jump ahead I did! WTF did I do that for...in the very beg before anything happened between us he told me that he would "derail this train with us both on it if I ever tried to get off of it!" So we went back n forth ...on & off for good reasons....he & I both had separate other relationships we were undetermined if either of us would stay in (yeh...yeh...I know!)....and both of us were very honest about our circumstances....always have been. I'm out of mine and he's still in his. Both of us have tried to cut the other off...him back in late 2013 so we didn't see each other for almost 6 months,
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and me in fall of 2014 where we didn't see each other for 8 months no matter how many times he text/called or emailed me and I just didn't feel like it. So he used a scheme a couple weeks ago emailing me telling me he lost his phone and needed my number. I replied with my number and bam...comm lines back open...and we saw each other shortly thereafter (prolly not best move on my part). Me telling him I'm moving 2500 miles away in a couple months and him absolutely reminding me what he told me he would do in the very beg..."derailing the train if I ever tried to get off and that he expects to be doing this with me 20yrs from now"...he made dam sure I understood his intent (with me just smdh the whole time trying to get him to be a bit more realistic!). He travels alot with work and told me that since I'm moving from east to west that he has a 8-9 month contract on westcoast so will be spending alot of time there and expects to still see me (...me still smdh!!). The way I tend to slice as a Virgo is to move far away from my lover if I cannot stop the train and get off on my own (my job allows me to move unattached for the most part)...so to me as a Virgo its a matter of mind ruling the heart and trying to do what is right even though both of us were stupid for going in to begin with!. This is just my way of trying to get off the "train" safely. He has been texting me for the past 2 weeks wanting to see me again.....first couple texts I ignored...the ones he sent a week after asking me if I was scared of him now...I definitely responded (Virgos and challenges!)....the hardest part with him is the same dam weakness I had with my very 1st Taurus with the same exact bday....the simple ability to just STAY strong in my "NO"! Both of us know what it is when we're together intimately....he always spends the night when he visits (sometimes I just want to be alone and want him to leave but never tell him to...another Virgo trait!)...he says he really enjoys spending the night with me becuz of not just the physical of us going at it for 5 - 6 hours straight...but also that he loves the way I think...how I see life....truth is though....that's it...nothing more...and I dam sure don't fool myself into thinking anything other than what it truly is...hate blinders with a passion! And he knows I'm not trying to get into another relationship with anyone else anytime soon...just need a dam breather from all relationships!
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Just don't know why doesn't he just give up when I don't respond and when he knows this is not healthy because he's quite well aware that's the main reason "why" I'm not responding!!!
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INT....straight-forward...appreciate that! And ur right..."block" mos def works on Iphones too...lol! Thanks for the input...this will definitly not be a 20+yr run...let alone another week or 2 run! He wants to visit this week...but not gon happen since its left up to me. Us virgos are more realistic than most at times. I move in 3 weeks back west and whenever I'm there (originally from)...I do what us westcoast people do best...."roam" the dessert...lol!!!
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This is why I could never take a Virgo relationship beyond friendship. They seem way too logical and practical with their emotions. It seems like its just too easy for them to disconnect and be alone, which ultimately isn't something I find romantically attractive in another person. If a Taurus is going to be with someone, I would think they want that ultra-committed "can't live without you" type of love - not this "I could take it or leave it", transient stuff.....
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Virgos are mutable. I think in some ways she's mirroring his behavior, in which he doesnt sound all that committed himself.
Her wanting to move away is showing she has strong feelings but trying to break away because she knows its not going anywhere.

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I guess I really am old. The truth that this dude is pursuing her while in a relationship isn't even a factor.
Shit's linear and relative. OP...you shouldn't be surprised. His sign, birth date, gender,none of that matters. If a person can't respect a relationship with the person they're dating...they ain't gonna,respect it with you. People forget that because of a connection but the other stuff like having integrity MATTERS MOST. All the warm in fuzzy feelings and "possibilities" face when it comes to the real.
He didn't respect the space with his girlfriend(neither did you) so what makes you think hes just gonna get it now and respect yours? You opened that door when you started messing with him while both of you were dating. Simply put, in reality it was a pairing of convenience...security...how Orwellian lol.
When you do right from the get go, you get right. Good luck
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TLS....its not that its "too easy" for us to disconnect and be alone even though it may appear that way....it's that we go in eyes open and try our hardest to keep them open regardless of what emotions may arise or not for that matter. For us, it helps protects us from allowing ourselves to get hurt in the long run or become overly optimistic about something we know more than likely will not end up going anywhere.....especially if we ever choose to go into a situation like the one I chose to. We also believe in "healthy selfishness"...meaning "alone down-time" to be able to give emotions later whenever it comes time to be with another. This is another way we rejuvinate our feelings and emotions so we can give them wholly when we know someone needs it.
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Posted by CluelessCancer
Why weren't you in love with the Cancer and why did you stick it out for 8 years if you weren't in love with him.
curious cause im dealing with a Virgo and i don't know his intentions...when we first dated he was all about i love you blah blah blah but since we reconnected he's been very reserved with words and affections....but he's there.
so it stymies me.


Clueless...my Cancer was in the military and TDY for the most part of the first 5yrs we were together so we probably spent 5 - 6 months together each of the first 5 years....we lived together and I was taking care of our home and his 5yr old son...(loved his son to death and he still considers me like a 2nd mom to him to this day). However, the real problems started after 5yrs and he got out of the military and was at home more often. We were engaged, we had a child together, but he could not stop cheating with a certain woman during the entire time...so I ended the relationship and left....that was it. He's a good person today and much better for it and he knows that I've forgiven him and hold no ill will towards him...so we get along great as friends now!
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Posted by lnana04
Virgos are mutable. I think in some ways she's mirroring his behavior, in which he doesnt sound all that committed himself.
Her wanting to move away is showing she has strong feelings but trying to break away because she knows its not going anywhere.




"Mutable"....very much so! Honest to a fault, if I feel like there is no future in it based on our total interaction over time, then yes...regardless of what I feel for him...the break will definitely happen whether he's for it or not. One thing I've always said is you can't keep going to the same water well time & time again and expect to stay "dry"...lmao! Emotions do run on both sides....but at the end of the day...I'm not one to allow them to dictate my every decision on what truly is best for me (and in this case...him too).
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Posted by beautifulsoul74
I guess I really am old. The truth that this dude is pursuing her while in a relationship isn't even a factor.
Shit's linear and relative. OP...you shouldn't be surprised. His sign, birth date, gender,none of that matters. If a person can't respect a relationship with the person they're dating...they ain't gonna,respect it with you. People forget that because of a connection but the other stuff like having integrity MATTERS MOST. All the warm in fuzzy feelings and "possibilities" face when it comes to the real.
He didn't respect the space with his girlfriend(neither did you) so what makes you think hes just gonna get it now and respect yours? You opened that door when you started messing with him while both of you were dating. Simply put, in reality it was a pairing of convenience...security...how Orwellian lol.
When you do right from the get go, you get right. Good luck


Beautiful....the best thing I took from what u wrote about "not respecting it with her so he won't with me" and what me and one of my best friends just talked about with this entire situation is the fact that I told her "mutual parties exchange mutual benefits and when it's no longer mutual...time for the slice!" Didn't mind opening the door because it was mutual....and am going to close it one way or the other...just a typical Virgo "justifying" cutting ties. I guess after another 8+ months go by with me not answering emails/phone calls/text messages....he'll get the hint....they eventually do.
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Posted by Lovelyisis
TLS....its not that its "too easy" for us to disconnect and be alone even though it may appear that way....it's that we go in eyes open and try our hardest to keep them open regardless of what emotions may arise or not for that matter. For us, it helps protects us from allowing ourselves to get hurt in the long run or become overly optimistic about something we know more than likely will not end up going anywhere.....especially if we ever choose to go into a situation like the one I chose to. We also believe in "healthy selfishness"...meaning "alone down-time" to be able to give emotions later whenever it comes time to be with another. This is another way we rejuvinate our feelings and emotions so we can give them wholly when we know someone needs it.


*initiating "alone down-time" sequence. emotions disengaged* *&0% @#@&&* (robot bleeps)
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Posted by AriesLady8
Posted by INTJBull
Posted by Lovelyisis
Just don't know why doesn't he just give up when I don't respond and when he knows this is not healthy because he's quite well aware that's the main reason "why" I'm not responding!!!


What is he gaining from this?
Sex
Attention
Ego stroking
Power
Winning the challenge
That's why he doesn't give up. It's not really about you. It's about what he's getting from you. And this will continue to go on indefinitely, as long as he's getting something out of this, until you end it for good. Change your number, block his number problem solved, IF you really want to end it.


This sounds accurate to me
He sounds similar to my Taurus ex in regards to the crazy possessive things he says out of his mouth... it will continue as long as you allow it to...
The fact that this thing between you an him started while you both were in other relationships, and you've created this pattern of speaking and not speaking, all the while he is still in the same relationship he has been in from the jump... It all leads me to believe that he has place you in this category where he plans to keep you. You might be one of his possessions.
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Aries...he has said exactly that before numerous times..."it will continue as long as u allow it to" and threatening to take us both under...smh! The dramatics of it! Maybe its my Cancer Moon and Cancer Ascendent...but I will retreat in a heartbeat to my shell if I feel like someone is trying to corner me for whatever reason. Either way, he wouldn't be the 1st to try and place me in some "possession" category....and probably won't be the last....not a huge fan of stuff like that!
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Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
Posted by Lovelyisis
TLS....its not that its "too easy" for us to disconnect and be alone even though it may appear that way....it's that we go in eyes open and try our hardest to keep them open regardless of what emotions may arise or not for that matter. For us, it helps protects us from allowing ourselves to get hurt in the long run or become overly optimistic about something we know more than likely will not end up going anywhere.....especially if we ever choose to go into a situation like the one I chose to. We also believe in "healthy selfishness"...meaning "alone down-time" to be able to give emotions later whenever it comes time to be with another. This is another way we rejuvinate our feelings and emotions so we can give them wholly when we know someone needs it.


*initiating "alone down-time" sequence. emotions disengaged* *&0% @#@&&* (robot bleeps)
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CTFU!!!!! LMAO!!!! DONE & DONE!!!! ....can't stop laughing!!!!!!
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@LovelyIsis
How is your alone time being utilized?
There seems to be little time for reflecting, rejuvenating or soul searching.
You're inviting and embracing relationships that you're not emotionally ready for.
For instance, you're guarded, bored...then embracing, inviting others in...then nitpicking flaws...then running away....and onto the next detrimental relationship cycle.
I don't think the Bull is the 'focus,' here.
I believe it's you.
You will make better decisions in matters of the heart, if you're communicating and conveying your emotions from the heart.
I'm sure you're not a robot (lol).
Love flows organically, it isn't presented with a well-refined checklist.
Consider this a Venusian lesson 101 from a a Bull.
I'm emotionally strong as well, but not emotionally detached.
Something tells me that you have a habit of doing the latter.
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Listen earth people of dxpnet community (in my robot voice...lmao!!!)....I am not "emotionally detached"...LOL!!! He knows that I care deeply for him and want to do what's right. When we first starting seeing one another both of us were having alot of problems in our current other relationships. At one point he said he & his gf discussed things and she was moving out a month later and getting her own place. I told him then..."as a FRIEND I would strongly suggest that you allow yourself some down time for yourself and/or to date other people IF and WHEN you get out of your current relationship" because I feel like people who have been in relationships for at least 2+yrs should at least get a breather in between relationships. I also told him that I loved him dearly but will always be his FRIEND FIRST. The move with his gf never happened, hence the 1st break of 6 months. He knew I was going thru my own situation struggles in my own relationship at the time so the break was not a big deal. I ended my own because it was the "right thing to do" in spite of whatever else I had going on. So we saw each other briefly for a couple months after the 6 month lull and I decided I needed a break from him too! Again...not a big deal since he has a home with a gf in it for Christ sakes...lol!!! He knows I was never upset about him still being with his gf (he knows I'm very laid back & love to laugh), however, there is no way under the sun you're ever going to get all of my emotions pouring out of me onto you while you're still in another relationship you said you were going to step away from earlier....no matter how much I love you or care for you....that makes absolutely no sense in the world to do so! Yeah...ok Tauruses....I'll NOT be a "robot" (lmao still!!!) and just shower you will all my love & every single drop of my emotions no matter what you dish out to me.....(ummmm...that would be a "NO"...lmao!!!!)!!!!
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Posted by TaurusBull1977
@LovelyIsis
How is your alone time being utilized?
There seems to be little time for reflecting, rejuvenating or soul searching.
You're inviting and embracing relationships that you're not emotionally ready for.
For instance, you're guarded, bored...then embracing, inviting others in...then nitpicking flaws...then running away....and onto the next detrimental relationship cycle.
I don't think the Bull is the 'focus,' here.
I believe it's you.
You will make better decisions in matters of the heart, if you're communicating and conveying your emotions from the heart.
I'm sure you're not a robot (lol).
Love flows organically, it isn't presented with a well-refined checklist.
Consider this a Venusian lesson 101 from a a Bull.
I'm emotionally strong as well, but not emotionally detached.
Something tells me that you have a habit of doing the latter.


TaurusBull....quite the opposite of what I do with my alone time....I spend it mostly reading and writing....when I write its about my thoughts....my feelings...my opinions and whatever else that is in me at the moment. Then I step away to reflect for days at a time and go back and read over what I wrote and reflect some more. I believe that we're capable of forever growing...among others and within ourselves. I also spend time with family & friends since I don't do that too often. Helps me emotional-wise and spritual-wise. I was told on more than one occasion that I move like a "typical male" in relationships with a couple other men I've dated along the way....because I don't engage in the clingy - texting/calling all the time - overbearing - "labeling what this is"- type of dating pattern. It's just not me. I firmly believe that if a man is truly interested in being with a woman....he will do it on his own accord....no need for pushing or manipulating him in that direction....so I don't. When my Capricorn and I first started dating....both of us were single and ready to be in a relationship so we entered into it and remained for 4yrs. Had a freaking blast with my Cap because he was dedicated to me and I to him and we showed each other on a repeated basis how much we adored & loved each other. He is one of my best friends to this day and we still have great laughs...lol! He knows better than anyone I'm both....emotionally strong & emotionally d
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He knows better than anyone I'm both....emotionally strong & emotionally detached. Depending on the situation, I am one or the other after I assess it and determine which one better fits the bill and allows for an easy more simple way to relate to my other half. I often switch too from both (Virgo canny ability to be mutable) because I am very empathetic (no matter how it may seem on the outside) of people's needing/wanting to be loved without expectations and without demands placed on them. Sometimes though when things have run their course, like this particular current situation, it is better to be the latter Winking
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Posted by PEITHO
If you knew you had no intentions of at least being friends with the guy you shouldn't have got involved with him period. Now you will throw him away like garbage.


PEITHO....u might wanna read my comment (2 more up where I started out addressing "earth people of dxpnet community....") about me always being his FRIEND FIRST no matter what happens between us! Always better to leave the same way you came in IF there has to be an exit of some sort.
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Posted by PEITHO
From what you said it seems like you don't want anything else to do with him since you are talking about blocking him. You don't even want to be friends with him. This is the problem with Virgo and Taurus Virgos are careless and Taurus people actually care. When someone matters to us we don't just walk out on them. Virgo however will walk out on us in a heartbeat and not even have a second though. Then we are left feeling hurt but they don't care at all.
Posted by Lovelyisis
Posted by PEITHO
If you knew you had no intentions of at least being friends with the guy you shouldn't have got involved with him period. Now you will throw him away like garbage.


PEITHO....u might wanna read my comment (2 more up where I started out addressing "earth people of dxpnet community....") about me always being his FRIEND FIRST no matter what happens between us! Always better to leave the same way you came in IF there has to be an exit of some sort.


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PEITHO....the blocking is so he can stop taking advantage of me being there for him for now as "security" when he doesn't want to be at home in his current situation. Tauruses love to call us Virgos out on our flaws...hence the "robot" comment...lol...which is perfectly ok, however, when a Taurus is already in a relationship they already previously stated they would get out of but never did....then there comes a time when someone besides the Taurus have to lay the gauntlet down since he won't! Temporarily having your cake and eating it too is one thing, but please don't try to make it a LIFE habit event that has no end date. Doesn't mean that I'm not his friend, because he knows that I am and will forever be....we're very cool people and get along with no problems and we don't fight....never have. If I ever had a problem with him or him with me, we "discuss" like adults are supposed to. I've asked him before to let this be done and he doesn't want to but he doesn't want to get out of his current situation either or he would've...plain & simple. So, I'll have to be the bigger person and protect us both by cutting ties for the moment. A Taurus selfishness & possessiveness knows no bounds sometimes...and I mean that kindly...lo
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Posted by busyeyes88
@Beautifulsoul74. Not heard from you for ages. I always read yours and DMV'S posts on the sag board. I'm a great admirer of you both. You are a sag right? I defo not a fan of sags in the male or moon form but you are different. Evolved.. smile


I pop in and out now and thanks for the love. Just speaking my mind lol. Ive read your posts and I've got to say your honesty is refreshing. It's something I admire. smile I'll see you around and once again I appreciate your comments!
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Posted by CluelessCancer
Posted by Lovelyisis
Posted by CluelessCancer
Why weren't you in love with the Cancer and why did you stick it out for 8 years if you weren't in love with him.
curious cause im dealing with a Virgo and i don't know his intentions...when we first dated he was all about i love you blah blah blah but since we reconnected he's been very reserved with words and affections....but he's there.
so it stymies me.


Clueless...my Cancer was in the military and TDY for the most part of the first 5yrs we were together so we probably spent 5 - 6 months together each of the first 5 years....we lived together and I was taking care of our home and his 5yr old son...(loved his son to death and he still considers me like a 2nd mom to him to this day). However, the real problems started after 5yrs and he got out of the military and was at home more often. We were engaged, we had a child together, but he could not stop cheating with a certain woman during the entire time...so I ended the relationship and left....that was it. He's a good person today and much better for it and he knows that I've forgiven him and hold no ill will towards him...so we get along great as friends now!


But you weren't in love with him why?
I get he cheated but you said you weren't in love

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CC...when he & I first got together I was just getting out of another relationship and my Cancer was always very sweet, kind, generous, very protective, and always very "gentleman-like" towards me. The bedroom was good as well. However, all these qualities of his came off as the typical "nurturing" trait above all else, and for me it always got in the way of any hopes of me falling totally in love with him. Strange yes I know, because us as women typically look for these traits in a man...one that we can fall in love with. However, I've always lived my relationships a bit on the wild side...more enjoyment for me...just a tad bit "relationship adrenaline junkie" (not in the drama sense where there is constant arguing/fighting though)...however, just my nature and maybe my Mars in Aquarius...what's exciting to me one day is boring to me the next (sigh!)...so I need challenges from my partner from tim
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time to time...hate to admit it but it gets my blood flowing and emotions running deep...very few men have been able to balance this with me effectively & it often works to get me to fall in love! My cancer mate was never that...but I still loved him for what he WAS...to me at that time in my life...it was good enough.
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Oh...I forgot to add the one other minor detail that also kept me from falling in love with him....his CHEATING...lmao!!!
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Posted by PEITHO
I like your profile picture. smile


Thank you PEITHO...appreciate the compliment! Adore yours as well smile
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