Venus Opposition Pluto Synastry Intense Taurus/Pisces

This topic was created in the Taurus forum by NewAstrology on Monday, January 14, 2019 and has 29 replies.
Hello Guys 1st post here.


I have this aspect with a girl I'm currently seeing. I'm a male taurus sun and she's a pisces sun. In synastry we have venus opposition pluto (she has pluto in scorpio 25 degreee while i have venus in taurus in 15 degree) I also have pluto sagittarius 4 degree while she has venus in aries in 20 degree which would make us have venus trine pluto in a wide degree. Regardless the connection that i have with this girl is mind blowing. Everything that is described venus opposition pluto is true. However what I'm confused is who is actually pluto and venus in the relationship. What i mean is that I often identify both with venus and pluto in the relationship. I identify with pluto in that I am often very possesive of her and fascinated by her to the point where I want to have her all by myself so that I can make love to her mind body and soul over and over again and possibly heal of her past traumas. I often do get jealous of her flirting and talking to her male friends but i try not to act on it too much. I identify with venus in that i often feel like I'm trapped in the relationship like even if I want to leave I can't for some reason. It also doesn't help that I'm a virgo rising and I have her sun on my 7th and 8th house cups.

My question would be is it possible for the roles to be reversed, exemple I am the pluto and she's the venus in this case ?
I don't think this stems from astrology. I think it comes from being a bloke (jealousy with her male friends) and perhaps some insecurity there (you like her, want her, don't want to 'lose' her etc, age, maturity etc).

The roles or placements of pluto and venus cannot be interchanged. They are what they are. The connection is strong but it is not always a good or healthy one in the end. It requires a 'handle with care' sticker to be slapped on you both!
No the roles can not be reversed.

Taurus is a possessive sign. Try to understand that if she loves you you don’t have anything to worry about even if she talk to male friends. And the flirting is just friendliness. It’s doesn’t mean anything. So don’t worry and be jealous about it.
Whoooaaa...thats a lot like me and my taurus....lemme know how things go..
Posted by AgentP911

I don't think this stems from astrology. I think it comes from being a bloke (jealousy with her male friends) and perhaps some insecurity there (you like her, want her, don't want to 'lose' her etc, age, maturity etc).

The roles or placements of pluto and venus cannot be interchanged. They are what they are. The connection is strong but it is not always a good or healthy one in the end. It requires a 'handle with care' sticker to be slapped on you both!
Your right I will be honest and say I can be very self consious at times. I try not to act on it too much and stay positive. Its just that i've never felt this way with anybody else before the connection that i have with this girl is just so deep.. But i understand that this type of behavior is unhealthy and I'm trying my best to mature and get over it.
Posted by pisceswoman123

No the roles can not be reversed.

Taurus is a possessive sign. Try to understand that if she loves you you don’t have anything to worry about even if she talk to male friends. And the flirting is just friendliness. It’s doesn’t mean anything. So don’t worry and be jealous about it.
Your right I'm definitely working towards not being so jealous anymore.
Update: We just spent the weekend together and although things went well, I have a feeling that I'm more into her than she's into me. I just can feel a energy of push and pull between us that is very addictive but also draining. We had sex a few times and it was really intense and passionate. Its like I could see a part see and hear a part of her soul that she would never bring to the surface. However what I noticed is that after sex she becomes very cold and wants alot of space which actually doesn't bother me. However I noticed that she doesn't really initiate contact anymore after we had sex this weekend. Usually she would be the one that would initiate almost 80% of the time but right now it seems like she lost interest. I also know that she is busy with school and has a very busy schedule which is why I rarely contact her as to not be clingy to her. But my mind is just wondering if I did something wrong, if maybe she found the sex bad or maybe she lost interest. I know she has Aries Venus and Moon libra while I Have Moon Cap and Venus Taurus which doesn't help.
Posted by NewAstrology

Update: We just spent the weekend together and although things went well, I have a feeling that I'm more into her than she's into me. I just can feel a energy of push and pull between us that is very addictive but also draining. We had sex a few times and it was really intense and passionate. Its like I could see a part see and hear a part of her soul that she would never bring to the surface. However what I noticed is that after sex she becomes very cold and wants alot of space which actually doesn't bother me. However I noticed that she doesn't really initiate contact anymore after we had sex this weekend. Usually she would be the one that would initiate almost 80% of the time but right now it seems like she lost interest. I also know that she is busy with school and has a very busy schedule which is why I rarely contact her as to not be clingy to her. But my mind is just wondering if I did something wrong, if maybe she found the sex bad or maybe she lost interest. I know she has Aries Venus and Moon libra while I Have Moon Cap and Venus Taurus which doesn't help.


Lmao I was just about to mention the push and pull energy of an opposition venus/pluto 🤣 that's why you feel more venusian, and then more plutonian, is each planet fighting for power, is worse if you got double whammy.

if you know shes busy, then you might be just overthinking, Aries Venus and Moon libra ugh, that's a tough call for your earth side.

I like how people say "The Pluto person often seems to have the upper hand in this relationship, which can be unnerving and frustrating for the Venus person"
Posted by Endless

Posted by NewAstrology

Update: We just spent the weekend together and although things went well, I have a feeling that I'm more into her than she's into me. I just can feel a energy of push and pull between us that is very addictive but also draining. We had sex a few times and it was really intense and passionate. Its like I could see a part see and hear a part of her soul that she would never bring to the surface. However what I noticed is that after sex she becomes very cold and wants alot of space which actually doesn't bother me. However I noticed that she doesn't really initiate contact anymore after we had sex this weekend. Usually she would be the one that would initiate almost 80% of the time but right now it seems like she lost interest. I also know that she is busy with school and has a very busy schedule which is why I rarely contact her as to not be clingy to her. But my mind is just wondering if I did something wrong, if maybe she found the sex bad or maybe she lost interest. I know she has Aries Venus and Moon libra while I Have Moon Cap and Venus Taurus which doesn't help.


Lmao I was just about to mention the push and pull energy of an opposition venus/pluto 🤣 that's why you feel more venusian, and then more plutonian, is each planet fighting for power, is worse if you got double whammy.

if you know shes busy, then you might be just overthinking, Aries Venus and Moon libra ugh, that's a tough call for your earth side.

I like how people say "The Pluto person often seems to have the upper hand in this relationship, which can be unnerving and frustrating for the Venus person"
click to expand
The pull/push is crazy indeed the worse part is that I have a "strong" venus in taurus which mean I do not like to be put down and be weaker one in the relationship. And I am definitely overthinking which is why I'm trying to take a step back and let things flow without worrying to much.

I also heard people say that sometimes its the venus that truly holds the power He/She just doesn't know it. I don't if thats true in my case 😅
Posted by Arielle83

How do u feel as the Venus?

I’m the pluto. I find this person attractive and I noticed him when first meeting.
As the Venus I feel possesive, obsessive, and very much attracted to the pluto person inside and out. I want that pluto person all for myself and wants to know and cure the deepest part of herself in a very plutonian way lol. I can be very intense 😅

I must also add that I have a 7th house pisces, 8th pisces. And south node pisces. And she's a pisces sun.
We pretty much was instantly attracted to each other the first time we saw each other As well. Its very magnetic in some way.
Posted by Arielle83

Posted by NewAstrology

Posted by Arielle83

How do u feel as the Venus?

I’m the pluto. I find this person attractive and I noticed him when first meeting.
As the Venus I feel possesive, obsessive, and very much attracted to the pluto person inside and out. I want that pluto person all for myself and wants to know and cure the deepest part of herself in a very plutonian way lol. I can be very intense 😅

I must also add that I have a 7th house pisces, 8th pisces. And south node pisces. And she's a pisces sun.
My issue is I feel some attraction, but we can’t act on it.

I think it’s soul connection. Not sexual. This guy is a triple Pisces. Sun, moon, mercury. I’m a cancer
click to expand
Interesting, there is some pretty good compatibility here. I kinda agree and could say that this is could be more of a soulmate connection. Is there a reason why you guys can't act on the attraction ?

Also As the Pluto person, do you feel very strongly for the venus person but doesn't want to show it for some reason ?
Just to bring it back down yo simplicity but have you both discussed what it is you're looking for from each other? Is this a relationship or casual fucking or what?

Do you know what you want? Not with this girl but with life in general. What stage are you at in life? What have you got going on? Do you know what you have to offer this girl? Are you clear with what you're looking for?

Perhaps this is what is making her cold. Does she know your intentions?

Also, what does she want?
Posted by Skeleton

Posted by NewAstrology

Hello Guys 1st post here.


I have this aspect with a girl I'm currently seeing. I'm a male taurus sun and she's a pisces sun. In synastry we have venus opposition pluto (she has pluto in scorpio 25 degreee while i have venus in taurus in 15 degree) I also have pluto sagittarius 4 degree while she has venus in aries in 20 degree which would make us have venus trine pluto in a wide degree. Regardless the connection that i have with this girl is mind blowing. Everything that is described venus opposition pluto is true. However what I'm confused is who is actually pluto and venus in the relationship. What i mean is that I often identify both with venus and pluto in the relationship. I identify with pluto in that I am often very possesive of her and fascinated by her to the point where I want to have her all by myself so that I can make love to her mind body and soul over and over again and possibly heal of her past traumas. I often do get jealous of her flirting and talking to her male friends but i try not to act on it too much. I identify with venus in that i often feel like I'm trapped in the relationship like even if I want to leave I can't for some reason. It also doesn't help that I'm a virgo rising and I have her sun on my 7th and 8th house cups.

My question would be is it possible for the roles to be reversed, exemple I am the pluto and she's the venus in this case ?
I really hate to break ya, but it not an aspect since its to wide for each other. It has to be under 9 orb aspect connection (like 5 degree moon and 8 degree sun for example, they're 3 orbs away toe ach other).

Yours is out of it.

What you can do is to go to astro.com, go to extended chart, create 2 profilw for u and that pisces girl and then set up to synastry chart at the chart type and voila.
click to expand
Oh I see so it must be an aspect under 9 degree. It probably means that we don't have any aspect to our venus and pluto.. sucks lol. Its just that I identified so much with the venus opposite pluto description in our relationship.

Anyway I'll try to post a complete synastry chart with the correct orb connections.

Really sorry about that kinda new to astrology..
Posted by AgentP911

Just to bring it back down yo simplicity but have you both discussed what it is you're looking for from each other? Is this a relationship or casual fucking or what?

Do you know what you want? Not with this girl but with life in general. What stage are you at in life? What have you got going on? Do you know what you have to offer this girl? Are you clear with what you're looking for?

Perhaps this is what is making her cold. Does she know your intentions?

Also, what does she want?
As of right now its a Casual Relationship. However we have both discussed our feelings towards each other. She told me that she liked me alot and that she wanted to see where things go between us without rush. She's more of a free spirit non-commitment type of person while I am more the commitment monogamous type.

However, she did tell me that if things were to work out between the both of us, then she would be down for a more monogamous type of relationship.

I am 21 and she's 25. She's going to university full time studying in law. While I'm currently working as a IT technician I'm planning to go back to university later this year to finish my studies as well.

I'm doing quite well right now to be honest, the only thing i'm missing is that i don't have my drivers license.

She is very self sufficient and mostly does not rely on people to survive. She lives by herself.

I Just want to be here to support her, to be her rock. She went thru alot in her life and i just want to be truly here for her no matter what comes between us.
Posted by Impulsv

Posted by NewAstrology

Posted by Skeleton

Posted by NewAstrology

Hello Guys 1st post here.


I have this aspect with a girl I'm currently seeing. I'm a male taurus sun and she's a pisces sun. In synastry we have venus opposition pluto (she has pluto in scorpio 25 degreee while i have venus in taurus in 15 degree) I also have pluto sagittarius 4 degree while she has venus in aries in 20 degree which would make us have venus trine pluto in a wide degree. Regardless the connection that i have with this girl is mind blowing. Everything that is described venus opposition pluto is true. However what I'm confused is who is actually pluto and venus in the relationship. What i mean is that I often identify both with venus and pluto in the relationship. I identify with pluto in that I am often very possesive of her and fascinated by her to the point where I want to have her all by myself so that I can make love to her mind body and soul over and over again and possibly heal of her past traumas. I often do get jealous of her flirting and talking to her male friends but i try not to act on it too much. I identify with venus in that i often feel like I'm trapped in the relationship like even if I want to leave I can't for some reason. It also doesn't help that I'm a virgo rising and I have her sun on my 7th and 8th house cups.

My question would be is it possible for the roles to be reversed, exemple I am the pluto and she's the venus in this case ?
I really hate to break ya, but it not an aspect since its to wide for each other. It has to be under 9 orb aspect connection (like 5 degree moon and 8 degree sun for example, they're 3 orbs away toe ach other).

Yours is out of it.

What you can do is to go to astro.com, go to extended chart, create 2 profilw for u and that pisces girl and then set up to synastry chart at the chart type and voila.
Oh I see so it must be an aspect under 9 degree. It probably means that we don't have any aspect to our venus and pluto.. sucks lol. Its just that I identified so much with the venus opposite pluto description in our relationship.

Anyway I'll try to post a complete synastry chart with the correct orb connections.

Really sorry about that kinda new to astrology..

Still good info to discuss
click to expand
absolutely an interesting topic! i learnt a little about the pluto-sun synastry in my own relationship as a result
Posted by Impulsv

Mmmm I do t have any of her placements

The first Taurus I dated was 21 when I was 25

It was n still extremely difficult to get past the age issue. Well it’s an issue for me because I always doubt it will ever get serious

Maybe why she is taking her time n lightly

And hesitant. But only she can answer if age is an issue
I honestly don't think âge is an issue here because she already finds me very mature. Like in the relationship I'm more the down to earth, responsible/Calm type, while she's more the emotional impulsive type. I honestly feel like we balance each other pretty well.
Update: I contacted her yesterday just to check up on how she was doing and the conversation was very short and cold.. she didn't seem much interested and honestly gave me the impression that I was bothering her..

So definitely as of now I am taking a step back to focus more on myself and figure out if all this is worth or not.
Posted by NewAstrology

Posted by AgentP911

Just to bring it back down yo simplicity but have you both discussed what it is you're looking for from each other? Is this a relationship or casual fucking or what?

Do you know what you want? Not with this girl but with life in general. What stage are you at in life? What have you got going on? Do you know what you have to offer this girl? Are you clear with what you're looking for?

Perhaps this is what is making her cold. Does she know your intentions?

Also, what does she want?
As of right now its a Casual Relationship. However we have both discussed our feelings towards each other. She told me that she liked me alot and that she wanted to see where things go between us without rush. She's more of a free spirit non-commitment type of person while I am more the commitment monogamous type.

However, she did tell me that if things were to work out between the both of us, then she would be down for a more monogamous type of relationship.

I am 21 and she's 25. She's going to university full time studying in law. While I'm currently working as a IT technician I'm planning to go back to university later this year to finish my studies as well.

I'm doing quite well right now to be honest, the only thing i'm missing is that i don't have my drivers license.

She is very self sufficient and mostly does not rely on people to survive. She lives by herself.

I Just want to be here to support her, to be her rock. She went thru alot in her life and i just want to be truly here for her no matter what comes between us.
click to expand
I thought it would be a casual, see where it goes type thing.

The trouble with 'seeing where it goes' is that it often doesn't go the way both parties want it to go. This is because seeing where 'it' goes has a lack of direction. It will go wherever it goes. Nobody is leading or directing it. Two people just bumbling along seeing where it goes without having any responsibility for it whatsoever. No input into its direction, no plan, and more importantly, no responsibility for its outcome.

How will you know if or when 'things were to work out' between you both? What time line are you working to? What factors are you using to measure when and how these things are or have worked out? What are these 'things'?

Relationships are no different to other aspects of your life. She's going to university to study law. Did she just randomly decide to study law one day? Did she just randomly send applications in the post with the view of 'seeing what happens' or was there thought and a process, direction and responsibility involved in deciding to study law and then where best to study it.

You're currently working but you didn't just randomly 'see what happens' one day in order to get the job. You would have had to think about what you actually wanted, and then gone out with a plan and direction to get it. You didn't just sit on your arse to 'see what happens' because if you did you wouldn't have a job and you wouldn't have your plan to finish your studies.

Same as obtaining your driving licence. You doing just 'see what happens' and hope a licence lands in your lap and a car appears on your driveway. You decide you want to get your licence, apply, research instructors or courses, book appointments, turn up, learn, study, do everything you can in your power to pass your test because that's your responsibility and it's in your power to effect the outcome you want. If you just 'see what happens' then the probability of you achieving your goal is less likely without a solid plan, direction, and responsibility.

If you want a relationship then take responsibility for this goal in the same way you would for other goals.

You either want a relationship or you don't.

She either wants a relationship or she doesn't.

She's already stated if 'things' work out she'd be 'down for a monogamous relationship' so I suggest you find out what these 'things' are and/or ask her to be your girlfriend.

What's the worst that could happen? She says no because she's happy fucking you and others on a casual basis. No problem. She can continue with her life direction and you will know where you stand so no more time wasted and you can be free to find someone who does want a relationship and who does want to be your girlfriend.

I think her coldness is due to insecurity. She's withdrawing because it's her way of protecting herself. She knows this is casual sex and at the end of it you will fuck off and leave her. She may give the impression she's a care free spirit but clearly it's not making her feel good or happy. It wouldn't. Casual creates uncertainty. It doesn't sit well with many people. With a relationship, you gain certainty. You have the certainty that you're not being used for sex. The certainty the other person won't leave you. You mentioned she's had a few issues in her past. This is why I think she's giving the care free image yet inside she hurts.

You know her better than me but if you want to make something happen instead of seeing what happens then don't walk away from her. Tell her you'd like her to be your girlfriend.
Dude you are a sweetheart... Hope she values you!!
Posted by NewAstrology

Update: I contacted her yesterday just to check up on how she was doing and the conversation was very short and cold.. she didn't seem much interested and honestly gave me the impression that I was bothering her..

So definitely as of now I am taking a step back to focus more on myself and figure out if all this is worth or not.
You don't know what was happening at her end. The chances are it wasn't anything to do with you or because of you. It might have been or it might just be your own mind working overtime. Who knows?

I think it would be a good idea to give further thought to this situation. To be clear with what you think, what you feel, and what you want.

Don't be disheartened. You sound like a nice chap with a good head on your shoulders. You're 21 so you have plenty of time on your side to discover everything you want to!

Posted by AgentP911

Posted by NewAstrology

Posted by AgentP911

Just to bring it back down yo simplicity but have you both discussed what it is you're looking for from each other? Is this a relationship or casual fucking or what?

Do you know what you want? Not with this girl but with life in general. What stage are you at in life? What have you got going on? Do you know what you have to offer this girl? Are you clear with what you're looking for?

Perhaps this is what is making her cold. Does she know your intentions?

Also, what does she want?
As of right now its a Casual Relationship. However we have both discussed our feelings towards each other. She told me that she liked me alot and that she wanted to see where things go between us without rush. She's more of a free spirit non-commitment type of person while I am more the commitment monogamous type.

However, she did tell me that if things were to work out between the both of us, then she would be down for a more monogamous type of relationship.

I am 21 and she's 25. She's going to university full time studying in law. While I'm currently working as a IT technician I'm planning to go back to university later this year to finish my studies as well.

I'm doing quite well right now to be honest, the only thing i'm missing is that i don't have my drivers license.

She is very self sufficient and mostly does not rely on people to survive. She lives by herself.

I Just want to be here to support her, to be her rock. She went thru alot in her life and i just want to be truly here for her no matter what comes between us.
I thought it would be a casual, see where it goes type thing.

The trouble with 'seeing where it goes' is that it often doesn't go the way both parties want it to go. This is because seeing where 'it' goes has a lack of direction. It will go wherever it goes. Nobody is leading or directing it. Two people just bumbling along seeing where it goes without having any responsibility for it whatsoever. No input into its direction, no plan, and more importantly, no responsibility for its outcome.

How will you know if or when 'things were to work out' between you both? What time line are you working to? What factors are you using to measure when and how these things are or have worked out? What are these 'things'?

Relationships are no different to other aspects of your life. She's going to university to study law. Did she just randomly decide to study law one day? Did she just randomly send applications in the post with the view of 'seeing what happens' or was there thought and a process, direction and responsibility involved in deciding to study law and then where best to study it.

You're currently working but you didn't just randomly 'see what happens' one day in order to get the job. You would have had to think about what you actually wanted, and then gone out with a plan and direction to get it. You didn't just sit on your arse to 'see what happens' because if you did you wouldn't have a job and you wouldn't have your plan to finish your studies.

Same as obtaining your driving licence. You doing just 'see what happens' and hope a licence lands in your lap and a car appears on your driveway. You decide you want to get your licence, apply, research instructors or courses, book appointments, turn up, learn, study, do everything you can in your power to pass your test because that's your responsibility and it's in your power to effect the outcome you want. If you just 'see what happens' then the probability of you achieving your goal is less likely without a solid plan, direction, and responsibility.

If you want a relationship then take responsibility for this goal in the same way you would for other goals.

You either want a relationship or you don't.

She either wants a relationship or she doesn't.

She's already stated if 'things' work out she'd be 'down for a monogamous relationship' so I suggest you find out what these 'things' are and/or ask her to be your girlfriend.

What's the worst that could happen? She says no because she's happy fucking you and others on a casual basis. No problem. She can continue with her life direction and you will know where you stand so no more time wasted and you can be free to find someone who does want a relationship and who does want to be your girlfriend.

I think her coldness is due to insecurity. She's withdrawing because it's her way of protecting herself. She knows this is casual sex and at the end of it you will fuck off and leave her. She may give the impression she's a care free spirit but clearly it's not making her feel good or happy. It wouldn't. Casual creates uncertainty. It doesn't sit well with many people. With a relationship, you gain certainty. You have the certainty that you're not being used for sex. The certainty the other person won't leave you. You mentioned she's had a few issues in her past. This is why I think she's giving the care free image yet inside she hurts.

You know her better than me but if you want to make something happen instead of seeing what happens then don't walk away from her. Tell her you'd like her to be your girlfriend.
click to expand
Your right, I definitely need clarity and certainty in all of this.. The thing is I'm sure of what I want, and that is a relationship with this girl. The issue is that I'm not quite sure what she wants because she keeps giving me mixed signals. The last time we were together, we discussed a bit and she told me that she is scarred of getting attached because of her past. So definitely I think she's distancing herself either because she's not interested anymore and has other options or she is scared of getting attached.

I just love this girl.. all I want is to be here for her and be a rock for her. I want to go deep inside her soul and find her deepest wounds so that I could heal her..
Update: I'm currently getting mixed signals from her.. "I was on facebook today and she posted a quote saying "Sometimes I feel bad for not calling up or checking up on people but then I realize the phone goes both ways and there ain't nobody checking on me"

I'm confused because I don't if she's talking about me or somebody else ? Why would she say that when 2 days ago I tried to contact her ?
Posted by NewAstrology

Update: I'm currently getting mixed signals from her.. "I was on facebook today and she posted a quote saying "Sometimes I feel bad for not calling up or checking up on people but then I realize the phone goes both ways and there ain't nobody checking on me"

I'm confused because I don't if she's talking about me or somebody else ? Why would she say that when 2 days ago I tried to contact her ?
Because she's an attention seeking twat. As are most people on social media who put up ambiguous statements on Facebook to state their perceived 'woe'. Same as the ones who 'check in' to places such as hospitals for the sole purpose of eliciting a response from their coterie of friends. There's really NO other reason to 'check in' to a fucking hospital!

Woe is me, poor me, nobody is checking up on me. I could check up on others but I'd rather not bother as it's far easier to just sit here expecting others to check up on me instead. Even though someone did check up on me the other day, I have now conveniently forgotten it because, well, I'm a narcisstic arsehole and it wouldn't make for a very good Facebook status...
Posted by NewAstrology

Posted by AgentP911

Posted by NewAstrology

Posted by AgentP911

Just to bring it back down yo simplicity but have you both discussed what it is you're looking for from each other? Is this a relationship or casual fucking or what?

Do you know what you want? Not with this girl but with life in general. What stage are you at in life? What have you got going on? Do you know what you have to offer this girl? Are you clear with what you're looking for?

Perhaps this is what is making her cold. Does she know your intentions?

Also, what does she want?
As of right now its a Casual Relationship. However we have both discussed our feelings towards each other. She told me that she liked me alot and that she wanted to see where things go between us without rush. She's more of a free spirit non-commitment type of person while I am more the commitment monogamous type.

However, she did tell me that if things were to work out between the both of us, then she would be down for a more monogamous type of relationship.

I am 21 and she's 25. She's going to university full time studying in law. While I'm currently working as a IT technician I'm planning to go back to university later this year to finish my studies as well.

I'm doing quite well right now to be honest, the only thing i'm missing is that i don't have my drivers license.

She is very self sufficient and mostly does not rely on people to survive. She lives by herself.

I Just want to be here to support her, to be her rock. She went thru alot in her life and i just want to be truly here for her no matter what comes between us.
I thought it would be a casual, see where it goes type thing.

The trouble with 'seeing where it goes' is that it often doesn't go the way both parties want it to go. This is because seeing where 'it' goes has a lack of direction. It will go wherever it goes. Nobody is leading or directing it. Two people just bumbling along seeing where it goes without having any responsibility for it whatsoever. No input into its direction, no plan, and more importantly, no responsibility for its outcome.

How will you know if or when 'things were to work out' between you both? What time line are you working to? What factors are you using to measure when and how these things are or have worked out? What are these 'things'?

Relationships are no different to other aspects of your life. She's going to university to study law. Did she just randomly decide to study law one day? Did she just randomly send applications in the post with the view of 'seeing what happens' or was there thought and a process, direction and responsibility involved in deciding to study law and then where best to study it.

You're currently working but you didn't just randomly 'see what happens' one day in order to get the job. You would have had to think about what you actually wanted, and then gone out with a plan and direction to get it. You didn't just sit on your arse to 'see what happens' because if you did you wouldn't have a job and you wouldn't have your plan to finish your studies.

Same as obtaining your driving licence. You doing just 'see what happens' and hope a licence lands in your lap and a car appears on your driveway. You decide you want to get your licence, apply, research instructors or courses, book appointments, turn up, learn, study, do everything you can in your power to pass your test because that's your responsibility and it's in your power to effect the outcome you want. If you just 'see what happens' then the probability of you achieving your goal is less likely without a solid plan, direction, and responsibility.

If you want a relationship then take responsibility for this goal in the same way you would for other goals.

You either want a relationship or you don't.

She either wants a relationship or she doesn't.

She's already stated if 'things' work out she'd be 'down for a monogamous relationship' so I suggest you find out what these 'things' are and/or ask her to be your girlfriend.

What's the worst that could happen? She says no because she's happy fucking you and others on a casual basis. No problem. She can continue with her life direction and you will know where you stand so no more time wasted and you can be free to find someone who does want a relationship and who does want to be your girlfriend.

I think her coldness is due to insecurity. She's withdrawing because it's her way of protecting herself. She knows this is casual sex and at the end of it you will fuck off and leave her. She may give the impression she's a care free spirit but clearly it's not making her feel good or happy. It wouldn't. Casual creates uncertainty. It doesn't sit well with many people. With a relationship, you gain certainty. You have the certainty that you're not being used for sex. The certainty the other person won't leave you. You mentioned she's had a few issues in her past. This is why I think she's giving the care free image yet inside she hurts.

You know her better than me but if you want to make something happen instead of seeing what happens then don't walk away from her. Tell her you'd like her to be your girlfriend.
Your right, I definitely need clarity and certainty in all of this.. The thing is I'm sure of what I want, and that is a relationship with this girl. The issue is that I'm not quite sure what she wants because she keeps giving me mixed signals. The last time we were together, we discussed a bit and she told me that she is scarred of getting attached because of her past. So definitely I think she's distancing herself either because she's not interested anymore and has other options or she is scared of getting attached.

I just love this girl.. all I want is to be here for her and be a rock for her. I want to go deep inside her soul and find her deepest wounds so that I could heal her..
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Yeah, you're not actually going to 'heal' her. It sounds noble on first read but also exceptionally 'fairytale' and very unrealistic. You need to just take the rose tinted off for a moment...

You want her to be your girlfriend. That's clear.

She's scared of getting 'attached' yet she has no problem in opening her legs for casual sex. I think her priorities and outlook should be the other way around! She lacks boundaries and shirks personal responsibility.

What specifically scares her about getting 'attached'?

Is it because she will need to relinquish other men's cocks and be exclusive to just one cock? Is it because she doesn't want to have to make a conscious decision to be in a relationship? Thus shirking responsibility of any poor or undesirable outcome at a later date. Or something else? She may have irrational fears. She may say one reason, you could discuss it like grown ups, come to a reasonable and rational outcome... And then she'll move the goal posts and say there's another reason... Then keep repeating the cycle...

I think you just need to focus on yourself. You can't make this person want to be with you. Set your own boundaries. If you want a relationship with her but she doesn't with you then you need to be prepared to walk away. Continuing to casually putting your cock in her in the hope she might sign your 'girlfriend' contract is not a healthy plan. Don't forget, what you feel is subjective. She may not feel the same as you at all.
This thread is everything!

I'm the Venus, been obsessed with Pluto for months now. It's nice to hear that Pluto feels something too
This thread is everything!

I'm the Venus, been obsessed with Pluto for months now. It's nice to hear that Pluto feels something too
Posted by Arielle83
Posted by Bella29122

This thread is everything!

I'm the Venus, been obsessed with Pluto for months now. It's nice to hear that Pluto feels something too


Hey I can’t message u back. U have to change your settings
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Thank u so much for letting me know, I did change my settings, hopefully it works now