Venusasapenis...need your input.

This topic was created in the Taurus forum by sunshine101562 on Tuesday, August 9, 2005 and has 10 replies.
Hi Venus,
You've been so great with your advice thus far, need your input as things between my Taurus male and I have progressed. We have been spending alot of time together but I'm not sure how Taurus males are in relationships. All of are friends are now aware that we are dating and we see each other often but he is not very verbal so I have no idea what goes on in his mind. To make matters worse, I seem to handle things differently with this man. Im usually very verbal about feelings and whats on my mind but I find Im very shy with him. I would like to know if Taurus men take things very slow and make sure what they are feeling and then become more vocal or are they quiet by nature and expect the other person to know what is going on in their mind? To refresh your memory we had a few posts back and forth in (Taurus males are they faithful). Any input you might have will help. Im not sure if I should let him lead the way or if I need to guide him. We spend many nights at each others houses and it would seem we are a couple...but then again..nothing has been stated. LOL..and Libras just NEED to know. Anyway, If any Taurus individuals have any advice on pursuing relationships with Taurus's feel free to jump right in! Thanks for everything..look forward to hearing from you.
Sunshine
Taurus have deep emotion and self-contained. When we are deeply love with someone, we're quite obvious with our feelings -- love and affection, devotion and care, and very loyal. You'll know by that.
Don't let your relationship progress from an intimate level only. Although Taurus love good sex but we need security from partners. He needs time to make sure.
Hi Maymaid,
Thanks for your insight. Just to clarify, if your refering to intimacy as in sexual, well that is one area that needs work. *S* Our bonding has been through years of friendship and he has had a crush on me for along time. I was not available for a realationship until recently. What it feels like is that he is wanting to be sure where im coming from or something. Its just he is not vocal and im not sure if this is a Taurus traight. We are getting closer everyday, I spend time with him and his family and he helps me with manly things. Which is very nice, I've never had a man step up to the plate like he has. I just dont know If I should let him set the pace or if he needs me to say what I feel. This is very different from any relationship I've had. And as for the sex, I read so much about Taurus men and I'm not seeing those traights with my friend. Again, wondering if he needs time or If i should take the lead. Don't get me wrong, we have a good sex life its just not on a level that I am use to. Its much more conservitive and it feels like he is holding back. So with all this additional info...LOL Let me know what you think. I just dont want to screw this up and Im sure that it will all work itself out but Im a Libra and impatient as can be. *S* Thanks for the response...
Sunshine
Well, I 'm a taurus female. So I might differ from Venusasapenis POV. Hey, where are you VP?
If everything has progressed beautifully, let it be. No relationship is constant. It's not a picture perfect. It changes all the time. You'll notice when you look back. You need to be patient. Explore it. If you understand each other without words so there's a connection between both of you.
If you really need a confirmation of his feeling, there is nothing wrong to show your feeling first. He set the pace anyway. You can't change Taurus pace. For one thing, actions are better than words for Taurus (for me). Show him your sincerity.
I used to feel insecure when there is uncertainty in a relationship. There are times when I expect something and I'm impatient. Finally, I stop thinking it over, I do my best and when I look back I never feel sorry.
hay sorry about that, i needed to sleep early last night (i was up waay past my bedtime the night before smile ) i had the weeeeiiirdest dream, anyway
it sounds like you two have settled into a kind of groove, and are building upon the friendship that you've both spent much time nurturing in the past-- it could be that he's taking a complacent attitude towards the relationship, and just doesn't want to feel like saying mushy stuff (it might be the aries components... i forgot to mention before that aries and libra are in opposition which might not be a bad thing, if you read the link maymaid posted on compatibility in the taurus forum it says opposites provide endless spark which will always renew or something to the sort)
personally, i'm the type which does need that verbal affirmation too-- i think the only time where i wouldn't is if i myself were uncertain (which doesn't seem to be the case, i would think if you guys are spending time intimately that's a major giveaway to a relationship imo) he might feel like he doesn't have to verbalize it because he's showing you (in a not so great way hehe smile )
he may very well be intimidated by you in a certain sense, because his mercury and venus are in aries (i think? i'll have to double check that thread)
i think all in all, if you show him that you can be his security teddy bear he'd be more inclined to open up... with aries merc and ven though, i'm not sure if i would expect him to be a very mushy or verbally affectionate person however... taureans can be prrreetty heldback and that merc and venus might not be the kind of communication you are looking for?
speakng of which, what is it exactly you are expecting from him? do you want a simple "i really enjoy the past months/weeks, i'm so glad we are spending all of this time together" or a more smoldering response? i think it's important to remember that trying to change him beyond his comfort level might not turn out to be for the best for anyone involved--- someone sent me this link the otherday, it might be applicable (it's geared towards jung/keirsey personality analysis but it's still an interesting read)
http://keirsey.com/pygmalion/mirroroffiction.html

the reason i used this example: "i really enjoy the past months/weeks, i'm so glad we are spending all of this time together" is because this is a natural expression for me, and when i said something like this to a gemini ex once, she snapped at me and said "don't be such a b1tch, stop fishing for compliments" etc... and i really should have taken that as a hint, but wound up wasting a lot of time trying to change her...
in your case, he may be willing to try and meet you halfway; but i'm not sure what would be the best way to initiate something like that... as long as your affections have a buildup and a pace, you won't scare him off or overwhelm him
i wouldn't be too scared to lead, as long as you don't jerk the reins-- taurus is very responsive too so if you are leading him somewhere he likes, i would think he would happily follow
i hope this helps sunshine! smile goodluck, k.i.t. and let us know how things are going (just in case i gave some bad advice or analysis and things go downhill! Sad )
what was your weird dream? Tongue
Venus,
ROTF...OMG that is comedy! Well, I'm sure it wasnt at the time but that female calling you a bitch fishin for compliments...LOL. Well once again you have made my day! Okay as for what I want, not even sure. I guess it would be some kind of verbal direction but he has been getting more verbal a bit at a time. As for me I havent said anything, have been waiting to see where he is at. What I'm getting (non-verbally) is that we are a couple now and settled into bf/gf status. But not sure do to the non-verbal. One thing I can say for sure i dont think he would refer to me a a little bitch fishin...LOL. Im still crackin up over that. Im really sorry you had to go through that, she sounds a bit hard core. I want to thank you for all of your advice, you have been right on target every time. My friend has always opened up when I have initiated serious or deep conversation but he doesnt initiate. So, I guess I can start being more of myself and quit being so shy. I mean, he was my buddy for years he knows me pretty darn good. Well enough about me, how have you been? always helping people out around here hope all is well with you. Let me know what you think. And I'll keep you posted. Take care and thanks so much!
Sunshine...
"what was your weird dream?"
it was sooo odd! i couldn't see anything, but all i know was that i was frantically looking for someone named lucy! i kept shouting out "lucy where are you?!!" i don't know any lucys really, actually the only one i know was a grad student at a uni where i used to work at (i looked her up this afternoon, and i don't even think she's there anymore)
i'm anxious to see what happens in my dreams tonight hehe
well i'm glad things are going well sunshine! it does sound like he's being a typical taurus, especially with the non-initiating part-- i'm not sure if there is any way around that, you never know what happens or where a relationship might go but it sounds like you guys are doing great and working towards togetherness smile
hahah and as for that fishing for compliments incident, my jaw slammed into the ground when she hit me with that one! i was just trying to pay her a compliment, and i guess she wasn't able to accept it :/ even when i tried to be a friend to her the other day (after months and months of bitter silence on both our parts), she hits me with crap, it's not even like there's anything at stake anymore with that situation anyway
but anyway, thanks so much for the encouragement smile i do feel privileged to be able to help you out and hope things continue to go smoothly for you, he's a lucky one smile
Morning Venus,
Okay, I think I have figured out what my uneasy feeling is all about. I'm not the type of person to try and change someone when I get involved with them. I either love them the way they are or move on. So, what I'm finding with my Taurus friend is that I'm needing more than what I'm receiving but it may be that he takes awhile to figure out what he wants. My delima is that I don't want to spend alot of time and have feelings grow (on both our parts) if this is just the way he is. I hope I'm making sense. For me I need alot of affection and I have a very strong sex drive. I dont think I've ever dated a man that was less affectionate and sexual. Now don't get me wrong these two things are not everything but they are pretty darn huge in a Libra's mind. My Taurus friend is perfect in every other way but I don't know if I could live without the other. I've never been unfaithful in my life but with what I've been seeing I now understand why some people do it. I would never go that route of course but I've gained alittle understanding. Now maybe that helps with all the babbling I've been doing over the last couple of weeks. For some reason (I assume fear of rejection) I have not been aggressive at all. I wait for him to make all the moves exect for the affectionate part. But an example we spend alot of time together and I may just receive a peck on the lips in a two day period. Now I dont know about you, but in the beginning of a relationship that seems odd to me. I'm afraid to broach the subject in conversation, for possibly brusing his ego. And that would not be good for a Taurus! Its just that he seems so old fashioned like leave it to beaver type and I'm just needing to know and hoping you know if that is normal in the beginning for a Taurus man. I'm not a young girl so I know men pretty well and this one has me stumped. I'm very attractive and attentive so I don't think its cause he finds me repulsive or anything..LOL Venus HELP!!! I don't want to blow a possibly wonderful thing, but I'm too young to accept this as a way of life. Give me some good news please..*S* Okay, now ya know everything hopefully I've made some sense. Thanks for everything I could never talk to anyone in our circle, I'm very big on the respect thing.
Sunshine...
well, i can understand how you feel about not wanting to invest in something which won't live up to a feasible standard you've set-- i'm not sure if anyone can predict how your relationship will be though Sad i do think comparing birthcharts will give a general dynamic, but more importantly i think your experiences together will show more of lively picture (living proof, in fact) of what you've built for yourselves...
i have been in a similar situation (same gem girl...) and went through the same with her-- she was very unaffectionate and unemotional ; in the end i felt extremely neglected by her. i'm sure this is not the same case for you, this person i was with was extremely negative-- if she were not such a negative personality (or maybe if i were more of one) i'm pretty darn sure things would be very different for me and her.. but if the two of you are willing to work together, i'm sure there's nothing that good communication won't overcome smile he might not be a mind reader, so at some point i think you'll have to voice how you feel about the situation (a peck on the lips every two days?? that sounds kind of odd; personally i require at least 3 prolonged hugs a day, of at least 3 seconds in duration! )so even from a taurus p.o.v. it does seem to be off a bit...
he might be stressed out about something unrelated too, which seems to be a taurus trait- withdrawling to deal with it, he might not want to burden you... it may even be his stress from not knowing how you feel about him as well, have you tried initiating little physical affections like holding hands or stroking his arm to see how he responds? i think this would be a good indicator of where the problem is, maybe you'll be able to coax his worries out of him
as always, i hope this helps some smile

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