Virgo Needs Taurus Temper Help
This topic was created in the Taurus forum by PeachyMuffins on Saturday, October 13, 2012 and has 12 replies.
I've been dating my current boyfriend for almost four months now. I'm a Virgo/Snake and he's a Taurus/Ox, sign wise we're perfect for each other and normally we get along like the best friends and lovers we are. I've been very honest and open with him about my personality and my faults (blunt, snoopy, possessive) as has he (jealous, insecure, guarded).
Long story short; I snooped through some of his email messages regarding his foster mom on accident (pressed wrong button) and found out some stuff he hadn't been telling me, but admitted it to him as soon as he had contacted me (I worked early in the morning while he was still asleep) and apologized profusely. He ignored me for over twenty four hours. He was cold and distant, wouldn't even speak to my kids. I stayed away and let him have his space considering every time we've argued or I said something stupid without thinking he's been like this, but I can't stand it. This is the worst it's been so far. He finally told me that I hit a 'nerve' when I said I felt like he didn't trust me.
It tears me apart, this distant barrier he creates. I apologized, I didn't hide anything- I know I did something wrong but to withdraw completely like that...? Is it normal for Taurus folk, and how do I, as a very communicative and physical person, handle this reaction to him being hurt or angry? I can't stand being ignored but it seems to be his default.
Help?
Long story short; I snooped through some of his email messages regarding his foster mom on accident (pressed wrong button) and found out some stuff he hadn't been telling me, but admitted it to him as soon as he had contacted me (I worked early in the morning while he was still asleep) and apologized profusely. He ignored me for over twenty four hours. He was cold and distant, wouldn't even speak to my kids. I stayed away and let him have his space considering every time we've argued or I said something stupid without thinking he's been like this, but I can't stand it. This is the worst it's been so far. He finally told me that I hit a 'nerve' when I said I felt like he didn't trust me.
It tears me apart, this distant barrier he creates. I apologized, I didn't hide anything- I know I did something wrong but to withdraw completely like that...? Is it normal for Taurus folk, and how do I, as a very communicative and physical person, handle this reaction to him being hurt or angry? I can't stand being ignored but it seems to be his default.
Help?
I'm not a Taurus, just a Tau Moon/Mars.. I FEEL and ACT like a Bull.
And you snoop through my shit, even "accidentally".. ohhh, it's ON, baby. You and I will be some knock-down, drag-out, fightin' mo-fo's. That's a betrayal.. that's a breach of trust.. that's some BULLLLLLLSHIT. Kiss my WHAT, and fuuuuuuck YOU! Withdrawing from you and ignoring you while I sort shit out in my head is the BEST I can do for you.. dumping your ass has been known to happen, however. ESP if you pushed me too far/hard, like I have no right to be pissed at you for what you just did.
Seriously.. you fucked up. YOU fucked up, you KNOW you did, no matter how you justify/explain it. Give him some space to process how he feels about it, to decide if this breach is worth the whole relationship... and remember, you EARNED the withdrawal.
And you snoop through my shit, even "accidentally".. ohhh, it's ON, baby. You and I will be some knock-down, drag-out, fightin' mo-fo's. That's a betrayal.. that's a breach of trust.. that's some BULLLLLLLSHIT. Kiss my WHAT, and fuuuuuuck YOU! Withdrawing from you and ignoring you while I sort shit out in my head is the BEST I can do for you.. dumping your ass has been known to happen, however. ESP if you pushed me too far/hard, like I have no right to be pissed at you for what you just did.
Seriously.. you fucked up. YOU fucked up, you KNOW you did, no matter how you justify/explain it. Give him some space to process how he feels about it, to decide if this breach is worth the whole relationship... and remember, you EARNED the withdrawal.
P.S. -- you call HIM "insecure".. yet you admit YOU'RE "snoopy".. well, wtf do you think that "snoopiness" is, honey?
I'm just wondering why are you asking for help AFTER the fact, be a big girl, put on your big girl panties and take the consequences of your actions. Take this time to think about what you've done and learn how to THINK about what you're doing before you do a stunt like snooping into someones privacy, it's almost like you're asking for drama because you snoop and then tell him you snooped, WTF is that, like who does that?? Or maybe you just have no sense of other peoples boundaries, I dunno what to think about this post. I'll come back later.
I will tell you this...one thing that taurus values more than anything is trust..once you break it its very hard to get it back if even possible. I loved someone with all my heart and he broke my trust for him and i will tell you that its a heart wrenching pain....i havent been the same since and its been 4 months...i love him but ill never trust him again.
Im not trying to be negative but just hope that he will be able to continue your relationship...or maybe to be like he was before.
When ot comes to privacy..lies and trust we take it at heart and very seriousley.
Let him be..let him come on his own and hopefully the love he has for you is stronger than his pain.
Good luck
P.S Virgos are insecure as well...
Im not trying to be negative but just hope that he will be able to continue your relationship...or maybe to be like he was before.
When ot comes to privacy..lies and trust we take it at heart and very seriousley.
Let him be..let him come on his own and hopefully the love he has for you is stronger than his pain.
Good luck
P.S Virgos are insecure as well...
If you cant take being ignored well you better get ready for a long wait because with this is he not only going to rethink if he should forgive but also about the whole relationship...thats why we get away because we think about every little thing.
Im sorry i dont mean to be harsh but its like Nefer said..you screwed this up big time.
Im sorry i dont mean to be harsh but its like Nefer said..you screwed this up big time.
I cannot STAND anyone going through my shit!!!! I CANNOT FUCKING STAND IT!!!
I hope he really cares about you because I would've written you off immediately. WTF you can't respect his BASIC right to privacy? I sincerely can't stomach that crap.
Four months? What happened to "beginnings n good behavior"? You sound baffled that someone would get so "cold" about you dismissing and disrespecting their personal boundaries. Shows a lot about your values and principles. Nothing matters except for your selfish need to find out whatever the eff you want to find out. Giving privacy invasion a cutesy name like "snooping" does NOT change the fact that you are violating a person's privacy and disregarding their trust in you. "Oh he knows I'm a snooper, why is he getting so mad?" What the Hell Ever!
If you two genuinely have a connection, then he might forgive and not forget with time and give you another try. Honestly, Taurus' will put up with a lot if they find someone truly special. However, personally, life's too short to worry about whether the person you're sharing your life with, will show you the most minuscule amount of respect and trust.
I would be most worried that he stopped talking to your kids (unless he's known to do that whenever you fight). It's like he's preparing to remove himself from their lives...
I hope he really cares about you because I would've written you off immediately. WTF you can't respect his BASIC right to privacy? I sincerely can't stomach that crap.
Four months? What happened to "beginnings n good behavior"? You sound baffled that someone would get so "cold" about you dismissing and disrespecting their personal boundaries. Shows a lot about your values and principles. Nothing matters except for your selfish need to find out whatever the eff you want to find out. Giving privacy invasion a cutesy name like "snooping" does NOT change the fact that you are violating a person's privacy and disregarding their trust in you. "Oh he knows I'm a snooper, why is he getting so mad?" What the Hell Ever!
If you two genuinely have a connection, then he might forgive and not forget with time and give you another try. Honestly, Taurus' will put up with a lot if they find someone truly special. However, personally, life's too short to worry about whether the person you're sharing your life with, will show you the most minuscule amount of respect and trust.
I would be most worried that he stopped talking to your kids (unless he's known to do that whenever you fight). It's like he's preparing to remove himself from their lives...
I also can't figure out how a FOUR MONTH relationship makes you think he "owes" you the "trust" to tell you "everything" about ANYTHING, much less about a touchy subject (like a foster Mom).. four months is not NEARLY long enough to build that kind of trust, you know.
But five minutes of "snooping" is PLENTY of time to destroy the trust you WERE building. *facepalm*
I mean, you're upset he didn't "trust" you enough to share these certain facts with you.. but you broke his trust in order to "snoop" and discover these things. Ergo.. you aren't actually TRUSTWORTHY, and you've just SHOWN him that -- so he was RIGHT to NOT trust you with "everything" yet!!
Damn, girl. You just set yourself back to Square One at best.. and Square Zero, We're Done at worst. WTF were you thinking? That the way to be TRUSTED MORE is to BREAK that trust, snoop, then tell him about it, and think your APOLOGY wipes away your actions?! Admitting that you're a sneaky snoop ISN'T being "honest and trustworthy".. not fucking snooping in the first place IS!
I can't believe I have to spell this out like this. I'm just.. flabbergasted.
But five minutes of "snooping" is PLENTY of time to destroy the trust you WERE building. *facepalm*
I mean, you're upset he didn't "trust" you enough to share these certain facts with you.. but you broke his trust in order to "snoop" and discover these things. Ergo.. you aren't actually TRUSTWORTHY, and you've just SHOWN him that -- so he was RIGHT to NOT trust you with "everything" yet!!
Damn, girl. You just set yourself back to Square One at best.. and Square Zero, We're Done at worst. WTF were you thinking? That the way to be TRUSTED MORE is to BREAK that trust, snoop, then tell him about it, and think your APOLOGY wipes away your actions?! Admitting that you're a sneaky snoop ISN'T being "honest and trustworthy".. not fucking snooping in the first place IS!
I can't believe I have to spell this out like this. I'm just.. flabbergasted.
Posted by Nefer
I also can't figure out how a FOUR MONTH relationship makes you think he "owes" you the "trust" to tell you "everything" about ANYTHING, much less about a touchy subject (like a foster Mom).. four months is not NEARLY long enough to build that kind of trust, you know.
But five minutes of "snooping" is PLENTY of time to destroy the trust you WERE building. *facepalm*
I mean, you're upset he didn't "trust" you enough to share these certain facts with you.. but you broke his trust in order to "snoop" and discover these things. Ergo.. you aren't actually TRUSTWORTHY, and you've just SHOWN him that -- so he was RIGHT to NOT trust you with "everything" yet!!
Damn, girl. You just set yourself back to Square One at best.. and Square Zero, We're Done at worst. WTF were you thinking? That the way to be TRUSTED MORE is to BREAK that trust, snoop, then tell him about it, and think your APOLOGY wipes away your actions?! Admitting that you're a sneaky snoop ISN'T being "honest and trustworthy".. not fucking snooping in the first place IS!
^^^^ YES!! This This This!! Breaking trust to build trust, absolutely ridiculous smh.
Posted by 25thDecan
"I did it. I love you. I did it because I am insecure. I was wrong. It won't happen again but I DO love you. I'm going to need you to help me through my insecurity to love you but not hurt you. I want you here with me. I am deeply sorry." Then...atone. if he doesn't want this then...life lesson learned. For your sake, I hope so. You do not own the person you love.
Wow! Are you sure you're a virgo 25thDecan? Or can you admit wrongdoing that well because it's just script? Kidding but that's a heck of an apology and as a taurus, the type of apology I would probably respond well to.
Posted by queenofdawnPosted by 25thDecan
"I did it. I love you. I did it because I am insecure. I was wrong. It won't happen again but I DO love you. I'm going to need you to help me through my insecurity to love you but not hurt you. I want you here with me. I am deeply sorry." Then...atone. if he doesn't want this then...life lesson learned. For your sake, I hope so. You do not own the person you love.
Wow! Are you sure you're a virgo 25thDecan? Or can you admit wrongdoing that well because it's just script? Kidding but that's a heck of an apology and as a taurus, the type of apology I would probably respond well to.click to expand
Yea that apology is scary good.
They gave an honest gut reaction to snooping. No whitewash.
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