what does this taurus man want?
This topic was created in the Taurus forum by pisces79 on Wednesday, November 9, 2011 and has 25 replies.
What does my Taurus man want?
This is a long distant relationship, everything was going perfect than he broke up with me because he was having a lot of issues. We were apart for about 6 months, he contacted me a lot during this time and I was there for him as much as I could.
Now we started seeing each other again, I have gone up by him twice now and we cleared up somethings.
He came clean with me and said that he did sleep with someone and that he thought it was something that he needed to do, but he broke it off because they didn??t have anything in common and he doesn??t want to go down that road with her.
He says that we are friends. But when I go up there he wants to ???sleep?? with me. I asked him why he doesn??t kiss me or cuddle with me anymore, he said he doesn??t kiss me cause I smoke. (when I am up there I don??t smoke around him and I always did smoke when we first started) and he doesnt know he doesn??t cuddle with me, its not me its him??_etc??_ and I send a text saying I miss you and he says thanks or something that makes him not have to say it back. He keeps telling me its not me its him.
I started treating him a little more like a friend than a romantic partner because I just don??t know what to do anymore. He still asks me what I am doing all the time, and who this guy friend is etc. I am not doing anything not going on dates, just living how I normally live.
I feel like I don??t trust him anymore, but I obviously still care dearly about him. And he still tells me he cares a lot about me. I am going up there again this weekend, he invited me out with his friends for the first time. We??ll see if that happens. He has just not been consistent with anything that he is doing and it is confusing the crap out of me. I don??t want to play games I just want to have him in my life for good.
I am going up there this weekend to see if he is going to change anything romantically or he is just going to stay the same. I don??t know how much more I can handle of this wishy washy stuff.
Oh btw he has kids and I spend the entire weekend with them too and they love me! And he bought me a pair of boots for the winter.
This is a long distant relationship, everything was going perfect than he broke up with me because he was having a lot of issues. We were apart for about 6 months, he contacted me a lot during this time and I was there for him as much as I could.
Now we started seeing each other again, I have gone up by him twice now and we cleared up somethings.
He came clean with me and said that he did sleep with someone and that he thought it was something that he needed to do, but he broke it off because they didn??t have anything in common and he doesn??t want to go down that road with her.
He says that we are friends. But when I go up there he wants to ???sleep?? with me. I asked him why he doesn??t kiss me or cuddle with me anymore, he said he doesn??t kiss me cause I smoke. (when I am up there I don??t smoke around him and I always did smoke when we first started) and he doesnt know he doesn??t cuddle with me, its not me its him??_etc??_ and I send a text saying I miss you and he says thanks or something that makes him not have to say it back. He keeps telling me its not me its him.
I started treating him a little more like a friend than a romantic partner because I just don??t know what to do anymore. He still asks me what I am doing all the time, and who this guy friend is etc. I am not doing anything not going on dates, just living how I normally live.
I feel like I don??t trust him anymore, but I obviously still care dearly about him. And he still tells me he cares a lot about me. I am going up there again this weekend, he invited me out with his friends for the first time. We??ll see if that happens. He has just not been consistent with anything that he is doing and it is confusing the crap out of me. I don??t want to play games I just want to have him in my life for good.
I am going up there this weekend to see if he is going to change anything romantically or he is just going to stay the same. I don??t know how much more I can handle of this wishy washy stuff.
Oh btw he has kids and I spend the entire weekend with them too and they love me! And he bought me a pair of boots for the winter.
>>thinks we dated the same Taurus. *LOL*
"He says that we are friends. But when I go up there he wants to ???sleep?? with me. I asked him why he doesn??t kiss me or cuddle with me anymore..."
-He wants a FWB
"He says that we are friends. But when I go up there he wants to ???sleep?? with me. I asked him why he doesn??t kiss me or cuddle with me anymore..."
-He wants a FWB
I am not driving 3.5 hours for to be a FWB. this will be the last time if thats the case.
OMG Just leave the dude alone. Do you really have to be confused about this man, he's being pretty clear about his intentions. If he's this much of a douchebag long distance he'll be an even bigger douchebag close up and personal. And why isn't he coming to see you instead of you investing in him by going up to see him? There is no investment on his part and as long as he's not DOING the investing he'll mistreat you.
Were are the obstacles for him to climb to get you in his life, no obstacles to climb mean no falling in love with you. You both should be winning, right now he's the only one winning and that creates a deep rift between the both of you b/c you are not "INSPIRING" him to want you.
Men value what they have to put efforts into so when you cause a man to put more effort into the relationship that??s the kind of work MEN ENJOY. When a woman is desperate she tries too hard. She gives too much. She demeans her value in the hopes of getting something she wants. IT NEVER WORKS!! He will USE you but he will not be around much longer when he has to either give back.
Men will treat a woman the way they feel the woman will be willing to be treated and if you accept his cheating by rewarding him he'll continue to cheat.
Desperation is the feeling that you get when you just have to have something, that man, that job, that dog and if I don??t get what I want I will be miserable. Men give more when they sense a lack of need and a lack of desperation but neediness will run a man off in a second.
Use stubborn-ness in the face of desperation, just refuse and be determined not to be desperate, your mind is made up and your sticking with it. Don??t be desperate--be determined, refuse in anything that frames you in a negative way, whether it comes from yourself or from someone else.
You are trying too hard, let him come up and see you,let him DO some of the relationship work or he'll continue to treat you with apathy and not care about how his behavior is effecting you.
Why in the hell would you spend your money, gas, energy going back up to see him when "doesn't deserve it" you are literally "REWARDING" him for his bad behavior which gives him the green light that he can cheat, he doesn't have to "give" back to you through affection and nice gestures and you'll chase him for a relationship anway. Who does that? Just stop it, you can't be that desperate to keep him in your life.
Were are the obstacles for him to climb to get you in his life, no obstacles to climb mean no falling in love with you. You both should be winning, right now he's the only one winning and that creates a deep rift between the both of you b/c you are not "INSPIRING" him to want you.
Men value what they have to put efforts into so when you cause a man to put more effort into the relationship that??s the kind of work MEN ENJOY. When a woman is desperate she tries too hard. She gives too much. She demeans her value in the hopes of getting something she wants. IT NEVER WORKS!! He will USE you but he will not be around much longer when he has to either give back.
Men will treat a woman the way they feel the woman will be willing to be treated and if you accept his cheating by rewarding him he'll continue to cheat.
Desperation is the feeling that you get when you just have to have something, that man, that job, that dog and if I don??t get what I want I will be miserable. Men give more when they sense a lack of need and a lack of desperation but neediness will run a man off in a second.
Use stubborn-ness in the face of desperation, just refuse and be determined not to be desperate, your mind is made up and your sticking with it. Don??t be desperate--be determined, refuse in anything that frames you in a negative way, whether it comes from yourself or from someone else.
You are trying too hard, let him come up and see you,let him DO some of the relationship work or he'll continue to treat you with apathy and not care about how his behavior is effecting you.
Why in the hell would you spend your money, gas, energy going back up to see him when "doesn't deserve it" you are literally "REWARDING" him for his bad behavior which gives him the green light that he can cheat, he doesn't have to "give" back to you through affection and nice gestures and you'll chase him for a relationship anway. Who does that? Just stop it, you can't be that desperate to keep him in your life.
Don't go up and see him, don't keep mistreating yourself this way...Save your energy, do you really want to go up to see him and put up with being treated so poorly? You deserve better than that, you deserve to be treated better than that and you know it. Stop subjecting yourself to his crumby treatment, save your money, gas, time, energy, stay home and go out with your girlfriends, go do something fun that will add value, love and happiness to your life.
I completely needed that tiki33..
but just for clarification, he didnt cheat on me we werent together at the time he was dating or sleeping with the other girl. he just told me, and as a friend or anything else i have to respect his honesty. I pushed him away for quite a bit cause i needed my own time when he was with this girl, but he was still trying to contact me during those periods even though i didnt always answer.
as far as me always going up there, well, unfortunately i love being up there. the surroundings area everything about it. he has kids every weekend, they came here a bunch during the summer, but now i have been going up there more, just more to do. and i dont spend a dime, even in gas he gases me up. but you are probably right. he should come here soon.
i thought i wasnt acting desperate but now that you put that into perspective, i look back now and realize there could be signs of desperation on my part.
i guess thats why he has been asking why i am acting different lately but thats because i dont call or text barely and dont really tell him what i am doing. i made him wait a few days before saying i will go up to him this weekend. my friends all said that i need to go to see if he is listening to what i say and will change his intimacy with me or just be friends. also is he going to "actually" introduce me to them like he said he is going to.
but just for clarification, he didnt cheat on me we werent together at the time he was dating or sleeping with the other girl. he just told me, and as a friend or anything else i have to respect his honesty. I pushed him away for quite a bit cause i needed my own time when he was with this girl, but he was still trying to contact me during those periods even though i didnt always answer.
as far as me always going up there, well, unfortunately i love being up there. the surroundings area everything about it. he has kids every weekend, they came here a bunch during the summer, but now i have been going up there more, just more to do. and i dont spend a dime, even in gas he gases me up. but you are probably right. he should come here soon.
i thought i wasnt acting desperate but now that you put that into perspective, i look back now and realize there could be signs of desperation on my part.
i guess thats why he has been asking why i am acting different lately but thats because i dont call or text barely and dont really tell him what i am doing. i made him wait a few days before saying i will go up to him this weekend. my friends all said that i need to go to see if he is listening to what i say and will change his intimacy with me or just be friends. also is he going to "actually" introduce me to them like he said he is going to.
"but just for clarification, he didnt cheat on me we werent together at the time he was dating or sleeping with the other girl. he just told me, and as a friend or anything else i have to respect his honesty."
So he just decided to tell his friend "YOU" about another woman he's sleeping with and tell me this does that sound like a man that is "romantically" in love with you? Is he treating you like a love interest? No, this guy is treating you like a friend and he's being friendly with you and you on the other hand is treating him like a friend but secretly holding out on hope that it turns romantic, this man isn't showing any kind of intimacy towards wanting you outside of sex and he's not making any kind of effort to be with you, he's not driving 3.5 hours you are, he's not initiating intimacy such as cuddling, kissing, hugging, he only wants sex and you can stay at home for that, you don't need to drive 3.5 hours to get sex and if you like the area so much why don't you develop friendships outside of him so you can come up to "ENJOY" yourself with people that appreciate you.
You are making a huge mistake putting so much energy into a man that is barely putting energy into you, you are the one falling in love b/c you are the ONLY ONE DOING THE RELATIONSHIP WORK, you are the ONLY one falling in love and that can only make you feel desperate inside and feel the urgency to fix it, he said he wants to be friends, take what he says at face value b/c he's treating you more like a friend rather than a love interest, a woman he's falling in love with.
"He says that we are friends. But when I go up there he wants to ???sleep?? with me."
He's treating you like an FWB, that's FWB man talk and you are refusing to listen and you are spending a huge amount of your money, time and energy on NOTHING.
" and I send a text saying I miss you and he says thanks or something that makes him not have to say it back."
That's b/c he's not emotionally invested in you, you are a friend with benefits and b/c you are an FWB he dare not reciprocate feelings b/c he doesn't want to mislead you into believing he more with you.
It's not you, it's him...He doesn't want you romantically and until you accept this you'll spend a lot of time on NOTHING and you'll be deeply disappointed and hurt. You are losing all of your power b/c you are not willing to back up and see things as they are instead of how you wish/hope/want them to be.
So he just decided to tell his friend "YOU" about another woman he's sleeping with and tell me this does that sound like a man that is "romantically" in love with you? Is he treating you like a love interest? No, this guy is treating you like a friend and he's being friendly with you and you on the other hand is treating him like a friend but secretly holding out on hope that it turns romantic, this man isn't showing any kind of intimacy towards wanting you outside of sex and he's not making any kind of effort to be with you, he's not driving 3.5 hours you are, he's not initiating intimacy such as cuddling, kissing, hugging, he only wants sex and you can stay at home for that, you don't need to drive 3.5 hours to get sex and if you like the area so much why don't you develop friendships outside of him so you can come up to "ENJOY" yourself with people that appreciate you.
You are making a huge mistake putting so much energy into a man that is barely putting energy into you, you are the one falling in love b/c you are the ONLY ONE DOING THE RELATIONSHIP WORK, you are the ONLY one falling in love and that can only make you feel desperate inside and feel the urgency to fix it, he said he wants to be friends, take what he says at face value b/c he's treating you more like a friend rather than a love interest, a woman he's falling in love with.
"He says that we are friends. But when I go up there he wants to ???sleep?? with me."
He's treating you like an FWB, that's FWB man talk and you are refusing to listen and you are spending a huge amount of your money, time and energy on NOTHING.
" and I send a text saying I miss you and he says thanks or something that makes him not have to say it back."
That's b/c he's not emotionally invested in you, you are a friend with benefits and b/c you are an FWB he dare not reciprocate feelings b/c he doesn't want to mislead you into believing he more with you.
It's not you, it's him...He doesn't want you romantically and until you accept this you'll spend a lot of time on NOTHING and you'll be deeply disappointed and hurt. You are losing all of your power b/c you are not willing to back up and see things as they are instead of how you wish/hope/want them to be.
Signed Up: Sep 10, 2010
Comments: 0 · Posts: 4684 · Topics: 51
Comments: 0 · Posts: 4684 · Topics: 51
Posted by pisces79
he bought me a pair of boots for the winter.
were those boots made for walkin'?
Posted by ReallyNiceAriesPersonPosted by pisces79
he bought me a pair of boots for the winter.
were those boots made for walkin'?click to expand
LOL sure should be made for walking b/c that's what I would use them for
Signed Up: Sep 10, 2010
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Comments: 0 · Posts: 4684 · Topics: 51
Tiki can you please do us a 101 - Girls Guide to Getting Exactly What You Want And Never Settling?
I am told on the Aries board that I can have whatever I want - I can make it happen, but being Aries we always end up on some goofy tangent (which is always interesting and fun) but I need the No Bull Version.
I am told on the Aries board that I can have whatever I want - I can make it happen, but being Aries we always end up on some goofy tangent (which is always interesting and fun) but I need the No Bull Version.
Good idea...I'll work on it, no seriously, I'll take it into consideration, I'm currently in the midst of trying to think how I can help women who have low self esteem be in loving relationships as well, it's challenging but I know if I can put something together that's specifically made for women that struggle with setting boundaries and that have self esteem problems and show her she can still have love by changing her behavior and behave in a way that says/translates over to a man that she has high self esteem even if she doesn't, low self esteem women need love too and it takes a few behavior changes to have a loving relationship and maintain love with a man while she work on herself.
Signed Up: Sep 10, 2010
Comments: 0 · Posts: 4684 · Topics: 51
Comments: 0 · Posts: 4684 · Topics: 51
And your style suits thing sort of thing - you are adept at the delicate art of kicking someone up the bum without causing grievous bodily harm
pisces79:
Tauruses don't do LDR well. You have to be there. He needs to touch, feel, smell you. I don't get the separation when he was 'going through things' but it wasn't bad enough where he couldn't find someone to bone rather than call you. That is enough to tell you there wasn't a deep enough connection to keep a LDR alive for long. I've had one for 2 years w/ a Sag. We talked every day, no matter what. He shared everything. He was a flirtatious one and had many girls interested in him but truly fell in love with me. If he's into you there is no, 'I need a break' stuff. It was on or I was gone.
You have to be there to be involved with him or he'll keep having an 'oops, I did bad again'. Like doody in his pants. Really, do you want that?
I agree with Tiki and I've seen many here espouse the same beliefs but it falls on deaf ears for those who get too defensive rather than hear the message. You just get angry rebuttals and a complete turn around of the previously stated facts to where you don't even know the truth anymore. The sad thing is when women want to fuck up, they do it so well. And they'll take it to their grave, all the while saying they were right and it was the guy to blame.
Tauruses don't do LDR well. You have to be there. He needs to touch, feel, smell you. I don't get the separation when he was 'going through things' but it wasn't bad enough where he couldn't find someone to bone rather than call you. That is enough to tell you there wasn't a deep enough connection to keep a LDR alive for long. I've had one for 2 years w/ a Sag. We talked every day, no matter what. He shared everything. He was a flirtatious one and had many girls interested in him but truly fell in love with me. If he's into you there is no, 'I need a break' stuff. It was on or I was gone.
You have to be there to be involved with him or he'll keep having an 'oops, I did bad again'. Like doody in his pants. Really, do you want that?
I agree with Tiki and I've seen many here espouse the same beliefs but it falls on deaf ears for those who get too defensive rather than hear the message. You just get angry rebuttals and a complete turn around of the previously stated facts to where you don't even know the truth anymore. The sad thing is when women want to fuck up, they do it so well. And they'll take it to their grave, all the while saying they were right and it was the guy to blame.
If u really want him in your life...set boundaries with him. "This is what I want/need, if you can't do it, then walk away..."
well first i am opening my eyes and starting to think differently thank you for all the comments.
would a taurus man really text you almost every morning or call you every morning to say good morning. and than call you almost everyday mid day at work to say hello, than call when he leaves work almost everyday, and than call me before he goes to bed almost everynight. if i am just a friend, or a FWB? thats what really confuses me. why would he spend all that extra time doing that, as well as letting me know what he is doing at all times. its just all confusing.
he just told me that his son has a birthday sleep over on saturday so we have the night to ourselves which we havent had in a long time. so i am going to look for the signs and make my final decision after this weekend that i already promised myself too.
would a taurus man really text you almost every morning or call you every morning to say good morning. and than call you almost everyday mid day at work to say hello, than call when he leaves work almost everyday, and than call me before he goes to bed almost everynight. if i am just a friend, or a FWB? thats what really confuses me. why would he spend all that extra time doing that, as well as letting me know what he is doing at all times. its just all confusing.
he just told me that his son has a birthday sleep over on saturday so we have the night to ourselves which we havent had in a long time. so i am going to look for the signs and make my final decision after this weekend that i already promised myself too.
Yep he sure will.....He'll call and call and call and still treat you like a friend, it's a tactic men use to send out mixed messages to get what he want and honestly I feel it's fun for some men to play head fuck games with women b/c he can, it's about control, having control over you and you are too naive/in love to see it, you can't comprehend what's going on b/c you are way too close, love and what you hope/wish for is blinding you to the reality of what you are dealing with, if you want him fine but don't be a fool, don't be so damn naive.
Posted by pisces79
well first i am opening my eyes and starting to think differently thank you for all the comments.
would a taurus man really text you almost every morning or call you every morning to say good morning. and than call you almost everyday mid day at work to say hello, than call when he leaves work almost everyday, and than call me before he goes to bed almost everynight. if i am just a friend, or a FWB? thats what really confuses me. why would he spend all that extra time doing that, as well as letting me know what he is doing at all times. its just all confusing.
he just told me that his son has a birthday sleep over on saturday so we have the night to ourselves which we havent had in a long time. so i am going to look for the signs and make my final decision after this weekend that i already promised myself too.
well that is a good start towards a real relationship. BUT YOU need to tell him what you want/need and if he can't provide that, then let him go.
'he just told me that his son has a birthday sleep over on saturday so we have the night to ourselves.."
-he expects sex then.
Posted by tiki33
Yep he sure will.....He'll call and call and call and still treat you like a friend, it's a tactic men use to send out mixed messages to get what he want and honestly I feel it's fun for some men to play head fuck games with women b/c he can, it's about control, having control over you and you are too naive/in love to see it, you can't comprehend what's going on b/c you are way too close, love and what you hope/wish for is blinding you to the reality of what you are dealing with, if you want him fine but don't be a fool, don't be so damn naive.
-yep. Told taurus when he called me this week.."No, you can't come over. Its done. Time to move on."
His response.."if things change, contact me." So nooo..not all taurus just move on apparently. But see..he knows how I felt about him so that is his control. And yours will do the same.
Posted by capbabyPosted by tiki33
Yep he sure will.....He'll call and call and call and still treat you like a friend, it's a tactic men use to send out mixed messages to get what he want and honestly I feel it's fun for some men to play head fuck games with women b/c he can, it's about control, having control over you and you are too naive/in love to see it, you can't comprehend what's going on b/c you are way too close, love and what you hope/wish for is blinding you to the reality of what you are dealing with, if you want him fine but don't be a fool, don't be so damn naive.
-yep. Told taurus when he called me this week.."No, you can't come over. Its done. Time to move on."
His response.."if things change, contact me." So nooo..not all taurus just move on apparently. But see..he knows how I felt about him so that is his control. And yours will do the same.click to expand
He doesn't have to move on, he's not moving period, he's right were he want to be, he's basically saying to you come back when you want to do it my way, he doesn't have to move on b/c he's not emotionally invested in the you/relationship and thus his life hasn't been altered by YOU moving on, the only person that will be moving is you (back and forth).
Taurus Men Want Ladies kind of Like Virgo Men!
That bull knows how to play the game and i'ts just that a (GAME).Take it from another bull.You have to cut the umbilical cord.He has nothing to loose. You do!
He wants sex.
They are affectionate (if they care about you).
i cut everything off...he text me with a bogus apology and than text the other day just to make sure i am safe.
he said text Y if you are safe. so i text Y thats it..im not chasing him anymore. now just gotta get him out of my mind! thanks for putting reality back in my dream world.
he said text Y if you are safe. so i text Y thats it..im not chasing him anymore. now just gotta get him out of my mind! thanks for putting reality back in my dream world.
i just posted i cut things off...
and he just text me
saying
there is a song on the radio all the time that you should listen to
adele (some one like you)
it makes me sad every time its on...i hope everything works out for you. because you definatly deserve it.
ugh!!! i wish i new what he was thinking..y so many mixed signals..i just dont get this taurus man
and he just text me
saying
there is a song on the radio all the time that you should listen to
adele (some one like you)
it makes me sad every time its on...i hope everything works out for you. because you definatly deserve it.
ugh!!! i wish i new what he was thinking..y so many mixed signals..i just dont get this taurus man
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