What is going on with this Taurus?

This topic was created in the Taurus forum by Spookygrl on Thursday, April 3, 2014 and has 38 replies.
I had been with this Taurus man for about 4 1/2 years. We have had a very rocky roller coaster relationship and there were many times where I thought the fight we had just had meant the end, but we always came back to each other. There were lots of hurt feelings and anger on both sides, lots of miscommunication or non communication that made things very difficult, but we always came back to each other. But now something else has happened. He was mad about something last Thursday apparently but I had no idea what, and when I asked what was wrong he just said never mind and said he was getting off the phone. I didn't think it was a big deal and didn't want to press the issue so I just said okay.
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What happened? You say you have no idea, but apparently something happened to make him upset.
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I then let a little bit pass and texted him to ask if he would be okay with me having a night to myself this evening and him not come over. Just to have some me time. (The previous week I asked for this and he got pissed, saying I was treating him like a bum in the ditch), but if I need some me time, I don't see how it should be a slight to him. So since he was already kind of in a bad mood I thought maybe spending the evening apart would be okay. Let him get calmed down or what not.
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Sounds to me like he just is mad about life in general and is taking it out on you because you happen to be there right now. Take your evening to yourself and let him cool off.
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So he texted back nope, have fun. So obviously he wasn't thrilled about it. I didn't respond but called him a few hours later just to chat, I mean its not like I was kicking him out of my life, I just wanted an evening alone. So I call and he's in a crabby mood, and he makes some snide remark about something I don't even remember, and I ask what is wrong? Clearly there's something, why don't you tell me? He says no, I don't want to listen to you tell me how I am wrong. So I say okay, them I will just listen. I said I can't fix it if I don't know what's wrong, so just go ahead and tell me. He says no, I won't tell you, it doesn't matter anyway. And I said look, I care about you and that's why I want to know, and you saying it doesn't matter makes me feel like you're saying that I don't love you. And that's not the case. And implying that I don't love you is making me upset. And he said, very sarcastically, ohhh and we wouldn't want to upset you! So I just said whoa, okay well so this is how you're gonna be then I guess I'll go.
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Well, piscesgirl there is much more.... He constantly does this kind of thing to me, acts like it doesn't matter what I want to know about why he's mad, he holds the reason hostage and won't tell me what's wrong like he's trying to lord it over me or something. Then he proceeds to ice me out for 4, 5 days at which time the one calling him and trying to get him to communicate so everything is fine. He lives the ice out, like he's perfectly happy with his righteous indignation,
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So I text him asking if he wants his stuff that is at my house because in my head I know it's going to be days before he will speak to me again. So I say, if you would like your stuff I can set in on the front porch got you and you can come get it. He says to me, if snyghing gets put on the porch then the ring better be in there too. i redpond with, im judt offering your stuff if you want it, the ring us mine snd you bought it for me, snd why are you making threats? he didnt respond. The next day, he doesn't call me on his lunch like he usually would and I honestly didn't expect him to, because his mo is the ice out, so later in the day I text him that his stuff is on the porch in a bag if he wants it. He comes to pickup his stuff, we never see each other, and nothing else was said for 3 days.
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He has since blocked my phone from calling him and will not answer when I called from my work phone. He has never blocked me before. I left him a vm from my work phone, saying that I know he blocked my number, and that didn't understand what was going on or why he was mad in the first place. And that how do you do this when you said you live me, that very day. And then snap, you can just block me. I have not heard anything from him all. It feels like its over, I mean why else would he block my number? But he won't say it even in an email, text, nothing....even a note on my car would be something. It's like I don't exist to him anymore.
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Yes, there have been a couple other instances in the past few months where he has done this whole I'm pissed off thing and ices me out so I ask him if he wants his stuff. and yes, he has come to get it. and yes, I thought it was possibly over then, but after giving him some time, i was able to talk to him and we got everything to be okay. but now, as I said, he has blocked my personal cell phone and now, I just found out my work cell phone is blocked too. apparently 4 1/2 years with someone doesn't even merit an email, text, or note saying look I can't do this anymore. I'm sure that he is blaming everything on me, but to not even have any communication and give me the opportunity to hear what has upset you seems like cowardice and heartless to me. There have been a lot of hurting and defensiveness over the years and a lot of mistakes, but like I said, we always came back to eachother. I know there has been a lot of damage, but to spend all this time....and nothing to say at the end, just disappearing?
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I agree with Impulsv. You both need to be away from each other, he is manipulative and abusive and you keep going back. I understand you love him, but it doesn't sound like he loves you. Keep the ring and tell him to f*** off
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Posted by Spookygrl
apparently 4 1/2 years with someone doesn't even merit an email, text, or note saying look I can't do this anymore. I'm sure that he is blaming everything on me, but to not even have any communication and give me the opportunity to hear what has upset you seems like cowardice and heartless to me.


Hey Spooky, sorry to hear you are going through this but you know, maybe this IS for the best. Relationship between two people should not be so chaotic. Something is very wrong there. Love...well, you can love anyone, but to share your life with someone is something else - there should be harmony even in bitter times.
I was in a relationship with a Taurus guy for 6 years (we lived together 5and a half year). We were lovers, friends, family - shared everything, we were like one. I cooked for his family, taking care of his father when his mother was in hospital, taking care of him when he was sick - spending whole night awake to treat him... When the rough period started, we fought a lot. Lots of stress, I knew this won't work. For two years I had this silent shout inside me - I love him, but we are not ment for the life together. Not even once did he showed me that he would let me go or that what I am saying holds truth. But then sudenly I have noticed him shutting down. Fell in some weird state of depression, like part of him was gone. We were at my parent's house, we slept in eachothers arms and in the morning he was not there - he returned to the capital. Text mesg. no "love you-s" I knew it is over. We spoke and agreed that there is no point pushing it further, calmly we decided to end it. At the time, we found out my father has a cancer and he needs to take a surgery - I am calling my now ex and asking to lend me "our" apartment to be there for my father (in the mean time I will pack). No empathy, no kind words for the man that he spoke with just few days ago - or towards me - Well, doesn't really sutes me but if you have to.... that was his words. Go figure! So I am coming to apartment and I just want to meet him there so that we say goodbye to eachother and to inform him that I will take few things, he comes but act frightened as I would hurt him (untill he relaxed) I was very hurt (not by the brake up) but his coldness towards me after all we have been through together.
Good luck to you,maybe is time to change your path.
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Spookygrl,
I suppose to ask What's going on with you?
Take a break and focus your Goal. Leave him... I was dealing before a Stubborn Taurus Man
hurting my feelings saying that he was just lied that he said he loves and took me to moved in
with him, He said that in the middle of fights...
but when we had time spent together as per agreement , he kept saying it was Love M.
But, I didn't pay attention and focus to the planned we made which made me him really mad at me
and told me I have a problem that needs to be resolved because Negative words and follows Positive
I did not bend down just to get credit. I maybe heard him but definitely I focused on what's
the best thing to do... and the best thing is to leave him and LOVE MYSELF when somebody fails..
Goodluck and hope you don't run after him... it will just frustrate you.
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Well, the truth of the matter is that I suggested counseling the last time we had a huge blow up which was about a month ago. I wanted to actually go see a counselor, but he didn't want to, saying that he "didn't need someone who thinks just because they have a college degree they know stuff" telling him how he needs to be acting or what he's doing wrong. He said he didn't want to spend the money on that. I was fully willing to go into it splitting the costs between us because it was for US and our relationship! But he didn't want. So he said what about trying some books? And I knew that this would not solve our problem. I just knew that he could not stick to something that he read in a book and change some of his destructive ways in a conscious manner. Sure enough, I found a book that really hit on something that had bothered me about his insensitivity forever, and it explained why and how this particular practice made women actually bat crap crazy. It was so fulfilling to me to find something that hit it right on the head, and I asked him to read it and really understand it because it was important to me. I actually had to say to him, "you're gonna check that book out and take it home, right?" It was like he really wasn't going to do it and maybe wouldn't have if I hadn't said anything. He took it home but I have no idea if he ever really read it or how long he even held onto it, because we never spoke of it again. And that was the only book he ever looked at; there was no serious work involved to try to fix things on his part. And for me, I checked out 3 books and am still reading the last one. And I had told him look, this is serious, take this seriously, because if this doesn't work then I just don't see how to go on because what we have been doing ourselves has not worked. We need something else. And he had said to me "so does that mean if it doesn't work, you are done then?"(in an upset way) and I said no, that's not what Im saying. But yet.... he is the one who has completely bailed, without a word. The fact of the matter is, I KNOW that we weren't right for each other, but the heart wants what it wants, and I may have never let him go if it were left solely up to me, I don't know. And the thing of it is, he never really treated me the way that I wanted, and I have been able to accept that I should have left at least a year ago, if not more. And now it is all just wasted time, because he will never speak to me again. In my head, I sometimes imag
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In my head, I sometimes imagine that he misses me and is sorry , sorry for the way that he cut me out of his life. But it doesn't feel like that is anywhere near the truth.
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To impulsv, piscesgrl, lucy and M143, I want to thank you for your supportive words. It does help me.
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He is a misogynistic abuser and he doesn't want anyone else to tell him that-especially someone that can't be manipulated by him. Then he would really have no control. You need to change the locks and not ever talk to him again. He wants the ring back because he knows that's the one thing that has some meaning for you. Don't let him have it and if he comes around call the cops. And if he gets bailed out and comes around call the cops again. Then file a restraining order on him. See, the cops can't do anything unless there is a paper trail of his actions. If you have a restraining order then they can arrest him. Unfortunately things come to this, but your safety is all important. I want you to go back and reread all of your postings. And ask yourself, would you let your mom, sister, daughter, or friend be treated the way he is treating you??
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@Spookygrl
I am a Taurus and I dated a Taurus on and off for about 6 years. No Taurus is going to be mad at someone for no reason, so you obviously did something that hurt his feelings. So I would try to analyze everything you did Thursday and confront him about what you did and apologize. Taurus' are very very forgiving, so if you want to make it work that's what your going to have to do.
And after 4 1/2 years if things aren't still working out, you two should probably just stop wasting each other's time and go see what else is out there. Playing cat and mouse is a viscous cycle. When you love someone you work out your differences and stay together. Taurus men like to dwell on their past and have a hard time letting people go.
Good luck!
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I know now to never take advice from a Taurus.
SanchoMuyTerrible,
+1000 LIKE
This Taurus Men are nothing but just manipulating weak women.
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So its been 3 weeks since he disappeared without a reason for his apparent anger. Three weeks since he blocked both my personal and work phone numbers from being able to call him. Now here are the developments: about 5 or 6 days ago, I was curious to see if he still had my phone blocked, so I called it. I fully expected to get the recording saying that is was blocked and the call couldn't go through. BUT... it wasn't blocked anymore. So I let it ring twice and hung up. I thought it was weird, and wondered why he had unblocked it. (Now, here's the thing about blocking phone numbers with Verizon: its free and once you enter the phone number you want to block, it goes for 90 days, unless you remove it.) Sooooo, why did he remove it? I hadn't called since at least a week before that... but if you are so pissed off that you block me, why not just let the block ride for the 90 days? You're so DONE, right?! So wouldn't that makes sense to do? Anyway, so I just left it alone. I didn't call again or anything. Then 3 days ago, I get an email from him that has a posting copied into it, with the words "right, so you cared about me". The posting was from a Disney forum (I love Disneyland/Disney World) and it was like a people seeking people kinda thread. I had posted a little profile on it twice in 3 years. Now before you start going "ohhhhhh well that's totally your bad!", this profile was to try to meet some new people to just find some friends in the area that loved Disney and liked to travel. He hates flying, and early in the relationship I had asked him if I found a travel buddy, would that be okay? And he had sais yes, as long as that's all it is, no romantic tanglements, etc... So that's what this was about. Anyway, I never told him that I did this, and nothing came of it. I never talked to anyone or met anyone. NOTHING HAPPENED. And I totally forgot about it, truthfully.
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So he sends this to me, and all he says is "right, so you cared about me". I have not heard anything from this man in nearly 3 weeks and he never told me what he was mad about or why he blocked my number. Just poof, be gone! So I wrote him back and I said "I did care about you. I STILL love you. I think about you just about every day. I posted those things because we were fighting, and you shut me out. I never knew when you were going to say you didn't want to be with me anymore. And it always felt like you didn't love me when you were angry because you threw me away so easily.
Once these things were posted, I didn't even think they could be deleted, otherwise I would have. You had told me early on that you didnt like to fly, and I had said hey if I found a travel buddy, would that be okay, and you said yeah. But I never met anyone and I never talked to anyone, EVER! It was never what I wanted. I never wanted anything other than us. I have thought a lot about things. Why would you have me wear a ring, but then not ask me to marry you? Why didn't you ever talk with me about living with me? If you wanted so much to have a life with me, why didn't you just move your stuff in shortly after you sold your house? Part of the reason I was selling my car was so that you would have a place to work on your hot rod! I knew it bothered you and I was willing to have you put the car there in my garage so maybe you could be happy. But I never got the chance to tell you, because you never gave me the chance that day that you were angry. And angry for what, I still don't know! All I felt was venom from you that day. And then to find out that you blocked my phone number.... Cold, really cold.
I always love you. Always. Can you say the same?"
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And I heard nothing from him in response. The next day, I was in the area of his work and I just had the urge to see him. So I drove to the parking lot and waited to see if he would come out for lunch, and drive to get something to eat. Sure enough, he did. I saw him walk to his car, get in and drive away. I sat there and decided to call him. So I call, he doesn't answer, and I leave a voicemail saying that I was in the area and was calling to see if maybe he wanted to go to lunch. But that I guess you still don't want to talk to me, so have a nice lunch and a nice day. I got no response from him that day.
The next day (yesterday), he sends me the same email he sent 3 days ago, but this time, he writes "Maybe you didn??t get this the first time I sent it. So here. Don??t act like you care about me."
I have not responded because honestly, I don't really know what to say at this point. I have not bugged him, have left him alone for nearly 3 weeks, and truly had begun moving on with my life, and now THIS?
I sent him the email explaining things kinda, but its almost as if he never got that. And I don't know if I should send it again and say "Maybe you didn't get this the first time I responded to your email, but here it is." Or should I just not say anything? I mean he hasn't offered to talk or to explain anything about why he just threw me out of his life without a word....and I feel that I deserve that at least. But its like he wants to hold me accountable for something, but wont be accountable for himself and his actions. So I really don't know what he is after here with sending me these emails. Can somebody shed some light on this? What should I do?
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I am pretty sure that this email stuff he is sending me now was NOT the initial cause of his anger, because ne mumbled something about money at the time, but when I asked more about what he was talking about, he wouldn't tell me. Then with me asking for an evening to myself for that night, and then saying I could put his stuff on the porch if he wanted it.....It was some kind of snowball effect, of which I really don't know what he was thinking. Because he cut off al communication, as I have said. But this email thing and the postings.... he had to have gone scouring the internet for something to do with me and come across it by accident. Because I tried searching for it, and I didn't find it easily at all. That means he was looking around for stuff about me, after he had already cut himself off from me and blocked my numbers. Again.....why be searching for stuff about me, if you are done with me?
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But I asked him at the time to tell me what was wrong, and he wouldn't. Then he abruptly ended the phone conversation and said "I gotta go, I'm getting upset." He doesn't like me to push him to tell me things, so I didn't. I just hung up and then thought a little while later that I would like an evening to myself and maybe he will work whatever it is out overnight and things would be okay tomorrow. Look, Ive tried for many years now to get him to open up to me about things that bother him, but he just gets more angry if I try to pry things out of him. He would rather get over it himself and not say anything (but yet, I can read on his face that something is wrong, and it drives me crazy that he wont tell me so I can maybe help). The problem with this is that I believe he harbors these resentments away and then visits them on me like a ton of bricks when he decides he wants to lash out at me. I get blindsided for something I didn't know was a problem and he vents all this inner rage at me, unbridled and uncensored. Which just crushes me. So maybe he felt like I didn't care, but hey, I tried again to find out what was wrong just a few hours later....I calmly and nicely asked him to please tell me so maybe I can fix it, and he was snide and condescending. So how exactly is this my fault? And how does it merit what he did after that, which was throw me out of his life without a word?
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But above all that, my question is why is he sending me these emails now? I thought it was already pretty clear that he didn't want any contact with me (he blocked my phone numbers and refused to answer an email I sent or a phone message I left prior to the blocking). I accepted his apparent decision and resigned myself to the fact that he ditched the relationship without the courtesy of even a Dear John letter. I cried a lot of tears and dealt with a lot of heartbreak in the past 3 weeks, and I was finally starting to get to a place where every song didn't make me cry and I didn't long to talk to him. I was on a good path to getting over him. And then, he sends me the first email. WHY? He was DONE, right?! Then I respond and he is acting like he never got that email, pouring my heart out, telling him I still love him. Then he sends the same email again. WHY is he doing this? WHY? Please, help me figure this out, because I have no idea what the best thing to do here is.
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Why? He's a controlling manipulative basket case that get kicks off of your misery. Misery loves company, why be miserable alone when he can be miserable with you.
Please leave this miserable human being alone for awhile, block his ass and let him go because this whole relationship is toxic and you're going to eventually end up very damaged.
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Disclaimer: Taurus moon/asc female here so maybe not the best source of advice.
I really wouldn't worry too much about WHY he unblocked your number. There are a zillion reasons WHY he might have done this, the least being that he wanted to see if you were still trying to contact him. At the end of the day he made his move and continuing to question the WHY of it will just keep you from moving on. Be honest...you only want to know why, because you hope that there is hope for your relationship in the "WHY" he's doing what he's doing. And that's not to say there is no hope, I'm only saying don't drive yourself crazy seeking hope in what could me a random meaningless occurrence.
I see a lot of myself in his actions and a couple of key things stood out to me. You said he was all in a huff and complaining about finances then BOOM you were exiled to the land of forgotten GFs. When my finances are in shambles I begin to feel insecure (especially in my relationships...and I'm a girl). In that I become hyper-aware of ANY perceived change in actions or emotions. It's possible that he was also feeling a bit insecure and that led to delusions of your interest in him and your fidelity. Now imagine that he's all in a huff feeling as though you're losing interest and maybe even moving on. He doesn't want to talk to you about it cause he recognizes that he's being insecure and just wants to let the feeling go away. In the midst of his insecurity you break protocol and ask for a night alone (sending his imagination into a frenzy). You follow that up with telling him he can pick his things up FROM YOUR PORCH (damn he can't even come in to talk). At that point he feels his delusions are now confirmed by your lack of care about the relationship continuing and he shuts down completely. During the 3 weeks you don't talk that nagging feeling that you have someone else keeps bothering him so one pitiful saturday night he decides to do some e-investigating...AND WHAT DOES HE FIND? An online social profile!!! smh...CHECKMATE! Now he has exactly what he needs...PROOF of his delusions and justification for telling you to fuck off. Now that i think of it THIS could be the reason he unblocked your number. So he could tell you personally to fuck off if you ever contacted him again and present you with the proof as to why he's telling you to fuck off. (any other more logical reasons have now been eclipsed by this profile. its just an easier and valid explanation)
Unfortunately f
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sorry got cut off...
Unfortunately for now that email was his dear john letter. Dear OP, I have proof you were trying to and probably did bang other dudes. please kindly fuck off. Signed, your ex. P.S. No response needed as I'm too in my feelings right now to hear anything you have to say. He resent it because for him there is NOTHING you can say right now that will change what he thinks...period.
I'm not saying you're completely wrong nor is he. This is just a possible scenario of how things may have been perceived to go down on his end. For now its over..maybe forever. I reacted a very similar way to something similar with my guy and it took me 7 months to come out of my own feelings and look at things logically. For those 7 months i was bat shit crazy. So yea he may one day come out of it and believe your intentions were honorable...but it likely won't be any time soon. So just try not to dwell or push the issue. At this point it kind of is what it is and trying to convince him otherwise is just going to piss him off even more.
Sorry for the book but i hope it helps! :-)
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fembot, I appreciate the insight. If you are right, everything on his end is total speculation and yes, maybe it feeds into "well my decision was justified". BUT.... why send the email. If you know what you know and you think it just solidifies that I needed to be dropped like a bad habit, why not just sit in your righteousness and get on with your life? Why send it to me and say, "don't act like you care?". And I might add.... he said CARE... not CARED, like past tense. So again, if he wanted to confront me, then he could have done that. Even through email, he could have gone through and said I was a liar and a cheat, and to not ever, ever contact him again. But he didn't, all he said was "don't act like you care about me". Maybe he is trying to bait me into calling him so he can unleash... but I already tried to call him the day after he sent the first email....and he never answered. He could have told me to treetrunk the hell off then, but he didn't answer. So???? The payoff of sending these emails to me is what exactly?
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Posted by Spookygrl
fembot, I appreciate the insight. If you are right, everything on his end is total speculation and yes, maybe it feeds into "well my decision was justified". BUT.... why send the email. If you know what you know and you think it just solidifies that I needed to be dropped like a bad habit, why not just sit in your righteousness and get on with your life? Why send it to me and say, "don't act like you care?". And I might add.... he said CARE... not CARED, like past tense. So again, if he wanted to confront me, then he could have done that. Even through email, he could have gone through and said I was a liar and a cheat, and to not ever, ever contact him again. But he didn't, all he said was "don't act like you care about me". Maybe he is trying to bait me into calling him so he can unleash... but I already tried to call him the day after he sent the first email....and he never answered. He could have told me to treetrunk the hell off then, but he didn't answer. So???? The payoff of sending these emails to me is what exactly?


For me I just want you to know that I know. And once I know you know that I know then I feel that you should (in your shame of being caught) not attempt to say another word about it. You should fade peacefully into the night of your own deception never to exist in my world again. (dramatic I know)
But seriously by that point there is nothing to say, I don't need to say anything else. I just want you to see my proof (and a small part of me wants you to explain so I can dismiss it...I won't actually hear what you have to say until much further down the road). Care or cared for me is irrelevant since in my mind at that point you did neither. But again this is assuming he shares a POV similar to the one I had in a situation like this.
Right now I would settle on the fact that he seems to not want to really have a dialogue with you and leave it at that. I'm sorry this is happening, any time a relationship ends and you feel you lack closure it really sucks...
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If that's the case, he's operating off wrong information, and apparently doesn't care to really know. So I guess he can think what he wants, but it isn't true. And isn't that sad to have made a decision like this with faulty information? It kinda proves a point that he really didn't care for ME, because if you care about someone, you want to KNOW the truth, don't you? And for me, who has NEVER cheated on him, EVER, or given him any reason EVER to even suspect that I had cheated or even was speaking to another guy.... I was an open book, never hid my phone, never had unexplained absences... this seems like a leap....like he just wants to see what he WANTS to see, not what's really there.
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Anyone else have a perspective about what I should do or what his angle is?
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Posted by Spookygrl
If that's the case, he's operating off wrong information, and apparently doesn't care to really know. So I guess he can think what he wants, but it isn't true. And isn't that sad to have made a decision like this with faulty information? It kinda proves a point that he really didn't care for ME, because if you care about someone, you want to KNOW the truth, don't you? And for me, who has NEVER cheated on him, EVER, or given him any reason EVER to even suspect that I had cheated or even was speaking to another guy.... I was an open book, never hid my phone, never had unexplained absences... this seems like a leap....like he just wants to see what he WANTS to see, not what's really there.


Well in my situation, (in hindsight) I did want to see what I wanted to see. I wanted to run from the relationship for my own reasons that I won't go into. But I was looking for a valid reason...a reason beyond discussion and possible cheating fit the bill. It wasn't that I didn't care, it was that I cared too much and I HATED feeling that way about someone.
But again...this is assuming he shared a POV similar to my situation and I don't want you to assume that he does or harbor anger towards him based upon this conversation. Who really knows what's going on in his head right now. He may be exactly what tiki33 says or maybe he's like me and just couldn't deal. Give it time; answers always come, even when they come from within. In the meantime keep doing what you were doing and moving forward with your life!
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fembot, do you think he will ever reach out to me?
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Posted by Spookygrl
fembot, do you think he will ever reach out to me?


What I've learned about myself since this situation is that if I felt the need to actually communicate (even just to send an email telling you that you never cared - in my case it was a text) then on some level I still care about you. Honestly the fact that I needed so desperately to find such an extreme reason to use to end the relationship in itself shows just how attached I was (again hindsight). The truth of the matter is that if I really was "over it" and if I really wanted to be out of that relationship, when I left I would have never looked back and I certainly wouldn't have wasted my time looking for proof just to present you with my justifications. So FOR ME (and making the assumption that he's doing a similar thing with you) I'd say there is a pretty good chance once he becomes logical again that he will reach out. But who knows how long that will take. It will all come down to how stubborn he is AND you have to know that just because he might come back around doesn't mean that he'll want to work things out.
Plus reading your post I'd say there were some things you guys probably needed to resolve anyway outside of this particular issue. Seems to be a LOT of bumping heads and not being able to find common ground, just be sure to keep the entire picture of the relationship in mind.
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I say that he most likely will...taurus guy asked me a million questions one day, and i mistakingly answered one wrong-he got mad and said that he didnt want to speak to me. Turns out he was doing a little spying on me on social media. I knew i was wrong for that, and i would call and text him loooong texts saying that i was sorry and i was wrong and to please don't ignore me.
NOT A WORD from him for about a month. I thought it was over so i posted on fb saying that i did all that i could and i knew i was wrong but that if i had to move forward i would. Hours later, he texts me and told ME he was sorry for not saying anything for so long and to not be mad. That was it really, he didn't get into his feelings about it. Seems like whenever u just say sorry or that u miss them or something like that and make them realize that u really aren't going away (but if u have to then u will do so also), i guess they come back down to earth from being a raging bull and realize that they don't want to let u go after all.
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I don't know....there's been nothing since that repeat email he sent. I haven't tried to contact him and he hasn't said a word. His birthday is in 6 days and I thought maybe, if anything he may contact me on that day....silly, I know. But it really doesn't seem like there will be anything else. I just don't understand this throwing away of people. Well, not just people, but me, who stuck with him through all kinds of stuff for 4 1/2 years.
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So yesterday something came over me and I sent an email to him saying that I DID respond to his email and I didn't know if he got it or not, but that everything I said in it was true, whether he believed it or not. A little while later I got a response saying that he never got it. He asked me to send it again, to a different email account, so I did. And then the arguing over email ensued. Come to find out he was pissed off about money, specifically the way I was spending mine. I was arranging to build a dog run in my yard so that my dogs could be comfortably and safely outside when I work very long hours, and he didn't like the fact that I was going to spend $ 1100 dollars on this. Now, this in my own money and he should not be having a problem with it at all. But apparently what he didn't like about it was that although he was spending almost every night at my house (whether I specifically invited him or not), taking very long showers, and expecting to be fed most times, he wasn't contributing in any way. And so I had made mention a couple days prior to his apparent anger, that maybe he could take a shower at his parent's house before coming over that night. He didn't like this apparently because well, I was spending all this money on building a dog run, so I should have no problem paying for my water bill. Well yes, and I never said I was having a problem paying for my water bill, but if you are going to act like you live here, THEN LIVE HERE, and share in paying for the utilities and buying food like we had discussed he would do when/if he moved in with me. I was feeling taken advantage of, like he was having his cake and eating it too. And since he wasn't expressing any intent on actually officially moving in, it seemed to me that he was just enjoying that fact that he was not at his parents and was instead hanging out at my house, without the need to contribute. Just because I am spending money to build a dog run doesn't mean I have money growing on trees or want to pay for the fact that you want to be at my house and do things the way you want to (take 20 minute showers).
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We went back and forth almost all day in email about how I was such a bad person and how he has been spending his nights in tears, but never once did he say I miss you, I love you, I made a mistake by icing you out and blocking your phone number. There was no apology for anything, but he wanted me to admit to some kind of bad behavior. So again, I ask, why tell me you are in tears most nights but yet not do an apology? Why, if you are so broken up about breaking up and not speaking for nearly a month, wouldn't you have said "hey, I really want to talk, I really want to fix things. I miss you". But nothing. Which only makes me feel like he is just throwing things in my face because he wants me to feel bad for HIS pain, but doesn't give a crap about mine.
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