cancercrab717
@cancercrab717
13 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 26 · Topics: 4
What's your interaction with your ex?
MY contact with "THE" Ex (A Sagg, who broke my heart)...is..CORDIAL.
It took a while for me to get to that point.. Him contacting fresh after the break was straight up tortuous.. he kept calling and texting with memories, even invited me to visit, which I stupidly did.. then I went straight NO contact after that for about 3 months..thats when he texted me a day AFTER my birthday...(SMH).. He was dating someone else..(A visible downgrade)... Then BACK to NO CONTACT for another 8 months...until HE called me seeking advice for when he broke up with the girl after me.. He initiates all the contact. I never call or text him.
Now he is slowly trying to find his way back in by texting me and complimenting my default pic on "WhatsApp"
But I'm not the same person he remembers from when he had me in the palm of his hand. When I close the door, thats it.
It took a while for me to get to that point.. Him contacting fresh after the break was straight up tortuous.. he kept calling and texting with memories, even invited me to visit, which I stupidly did.. then I went straight NO contact after that for about 3 months..thats when he texted me a day AFTER my birthday...(SMH).. He was dating someone else..(A visible downgrade)... Then BACK to NO CONTACT for another 8 months...until HE called me seeking advice for when he broke up with the girl after me.. He initiates all the contact. I never call or text him.
Now he is slowly trying to find his way back in by texting me and complimenting my default pic on "WhatsApp"
But I'm not the same person he remembers from when he had me in the palm of his hand. When I close the door, thats it.
I don't talk to any of my exes...and with no malice whatsoever...I have no desire to. I don't think I have ever just washed my hands clean of a relationship. Every relationship I've been in, had a long, drawn out break up process. I'm not saying there was a lot of breaking up and making up. It was more like a very long goodbye, made up of explanations and reiterations that the relationship was really over.
Posted by BullGem
I love reading your posts, Tbelle; they're always full of emotion. That scorpio moon...😉
hahah..I can't help it...I seem to want to paint a VIVID picture with my words.. I think my Merc in Gem helps a bit too. lol (I used to write poetry when sad..)
Ahhhh the famous dance between a Cancer and Taurus. It's a crazy and wonderful dynamic. Emphasis on crazy lol. I have been doing this dance with "the Ex" for quite some time now. It's the magnetic force that pulls and pushes our signs back and forth. It's in the eyes, the language, and comfort we bring out in each other. This is all from my experience with him. As Minata cites, we Taureans do not look back. We move forward diligently. You write that you broke up due to lack of communicating on his part, yet you are, frequently, albeit 2000 miles away. Is this friendship ( or type of) something you'd like to continue?
Ands u were an ass huh?? No bueno.
That would explain alot..everyone has that ex who they can't seem to ever forget.. U just haven't met yours yet. I'm sure you will, when u mature out of "ass-dom".
Best wishes...
That would explain alot..everyone has that ex who they can't seem to ever forget.. U just haven't met yours yet. I'm sure you will, when u mature out of "ass-dom".
Best wishes...
Contact with an ex? Only if it concerns our son. Other than that..nothing. No need
Im in the same situation as you but flipped - Im a Taurus and my ex is a cancer who split with me. In my view I had no issue with contact with ex's after I would leave them to it but I think there is something special within these two signs together I do think they are one of the best matches along with virgo.
I would say he still cares. and I have the same chart haha I have a cancer moon and damn don't I live in the past! and my ex has a cap moon that is pretty scary :L
I wouldn't say it was over permanently unless you state so, us emotional taurus will linger onto any form of hope unless you say bluntly to our face that you don't want us ever again otherwise we will make up sernarios that you still care.
I mean me and my ex contact eachother everyday like you guys I do think feelings are still there - and you have a fresh start as friends like I have restarted with my ex and allow the future todo it's work, help the taurus man change! point his obvious flaws out otherwise he will deny them, we are quite proud and sometimes blind to our faults my relationship died due to lack of freedom I gave my ex so too much communication, Im hoping things will get better 🙂
I would say he still cares. and I have the same chart haha I have a cancer moon and damn don't I live in the past! and my ex has a cap moon that is pretty scary :L
I wouldn't say it was over permanently unless you state so, us emotional taurus will linger onto any form of hope unless you say bluntly to our face that you don't want us ever again otherwise we will make up sernarios that you still care.
I mean me and my ex contact eachother everyday like you guys I do think feelings are still there - and you have a fresh start as friends like I have restarted with my ex and allow the future todo it's work, help the taurus man change! point his obvious flaws out otherwise he will deny them, we are quite proud and sometimes blind to our faults my relationship died due to lack of freedom I gave my ex so too much communication, Im hoping things will get better 🙂
If you were good to and good for a Taurus they will always try to find away back to you. Even if, they were not good to or good for you. It's the whole comfort thing. Bulls like to languish in luxurious comfort. And if they like your cooking then you are really never going to get rid of them. lol. 🙂
If we're completely OVER you, we can remain friends or be cordial.
But this friendship comes with stipulations.
No manipulation, BS or mind games of trying to 'ween' yourself back in the picture.
We hate to regress.
Too many bad memories.
We do not want to re-live it. Nothing personal. We're just wired that way.
---But I will have to agree with the other posters, there is never really CLOSURE with Cancers and Tauruses. The Introduction is cosmic, beautiful and crazy. The story line? Cosmic, Beautiful, Crazy with many challenges, trials and tribulations...But the ending is never written for these two signs.
I find this also common with Taurus and Virgos.
Go figure.
But this friendship comes with stipulations.
No manipulation, BS or mind games of trying to 'ween' yourself back in the picture.
We hate to regress.
Too many bad memories.
We do not want to re-live it. Nothing personal. We're just wired that way.
---But I will have to agree with the other posters, there is never really CLOSURE with Cancers and Tauruses. The Introduction is cosmic, beautiful and crazy. The story line? Cosmic, Beautiful, Crazy with many challenges, trials and tribulations...But the ending is never written for these two signs.
I find this also common with Taurus and Virgos.
Go figure.
Ok Taurusbull and BullGem, I get what you're saying. You're not fans of regression or any type of mind games. So if you could, please help me to understand why this Taurus seems to be doing both. Before he moved to California, he actually stated that he felt he was "regressing" in his life as far as maturity goes. He admitted that he was and still is "running away from all of his problems." He has left his business, significant relationships, pets, and prized possessions behind by making this move. We were already broken up 3-4 months prior to his move.
A day after posting my original message to this board, he randomly posted a photo of me on the Internet to his thousand followers (without my permission). It was just a picture of my face, smiling and looking happy. The caption the photo "76", which is a number of importance to only me and him. When we were together we always said we would grow old together and for some reason we always said "til '76." This obviously struck a emotional chord with me and when I asked why he posted his only answer was "I don't know. Why not?" He proceeded to text me pictures he had saved of me in his phone, including a very happy picture of the two of us that was taken over a year an a half ago. For a second I thought he might still have feelings for me and this was his way of showing he still cared. However, two days later he posted a very similar photo of another girl, she looked very similar to me; he used the same photo filter and she was making the same pose as me. I was furious that he had the nerve to post pictures of me and associate my likeness with that of random girls who send him photos of themselves. He made it look like I was just part of a harem of women he had. I expressed how offended and disrespected I felt and he removed all the photos. Instead of saying sorry or explaining himself he just said he didn't know why he did it and refused to see the connection between the two photos. I don't buy this for a second. Taurus people are EXTREMELY smart. They know what they want and how to get it. They do things with intention and not randomly. The only conclusion I could come to is that he did this I intentionally hurt me or catch my attention. If this isn't a mind game, what is? It felt beyond cruel, especially since I never asked him to or really acknowledged that he posted the original photo of me? When we were together he was so loyal and I never once saw him as the player he is trying to promote himself as n
A day after posting my original message to this board, he randomly posted a photo of me on the Internet to his thousand followers (without my permission). It was just a picture of my face, smiling and looking happy. The caption the photo "76", which is a number of importance to only me and him. When we were together we always said we would grow old together and for some reason we always said "til '76." This obviously struck a emotional chord with me and when I asked why he posted his only answer was "I don't know. Why not?" He proceeded to text me pictures he had saved of me in his phone, including a very happy picture of the two of us that was taken over a year an a half ago. For a second I thought he might still have feelings for me and this was his way of showing he still cared. However, two days later he posted a very similar photo of another girl, she looked very similar to me; he used the same photo filter and she was making the same pose as me. I was furious that he had the nerve to post pictures of me and associate my likeness with that of random girls who send him photos of themselves. He made it look like I was just part of a harem of women he had. I expressed how offended and disrespected I felt and he removed all the photos. Instead of saying sorry or explaining himself he just said he didn't know why he did it and refused to see the connection between the two photos. I don't buy this for a second. Taurus people are EXTREMELY smart. They know what they want and how to get it. They do things with intention and not randomly. The only conclusion I could come to is that he did this I intentionally hurt me or catch my attention. If this isn't a mind game, what is? It felt beyond cruel, especially since I never asked him to or really acknowledged that he posted the original photo of me? When we were together he was so loyal and I never once saw him as the player he is trying to promote himself as n
Sorry for my paragraphs! You guys are just really helpful
Posted by cancercrab717
Taurus people are EXTREMELY smart. They know what they want and how to get it. They do things with intention and not randomly. The only conclusion I could come to is that he did this I intentionally hurt me or catch my attention. If this isn't a mind game, what is? It felt beyond cruel, especially since I never asked him to or really acknowledged that he posted the original photo of me? When we were together he was so loyal and I never once saw him as the player he is trying to promote himself as n
To answer your question, we're METHODICAL (like our other fellow earth signs, Caps and Virgos).
But this isn't a mind game, or manipulation.
It's CAUTION.
And CONTAINING OUR EMOTIONS.
He was probably in a state of nostalgia, thought about you, caught himself, retracted, and posted a picture of someone else to throw you off.
My guess?
He hasn't figured out what he's going to do with you, or how he's going to proceed with you, yet.
The key word for dealing with a Bull is "PATIENCE."
Makes sense! He definitely thew me off. He told me I was "confused" and he wasn't sure what the problem was when I expressed that I was upset over the pictures. Yet, he took them down immediately when I reacted.
After 4 years of knowing this bull, you are right- patience is KEY. It's just hard for me to deal with caution/containing if his emotions because he has let me into his emotional world in the past. I know there is much more to him than his tough exterior, but neither of us can reach each other on that level again yet. We both put up our shields after the break up and now it's just a chess game!
After 4 years of knowing this bull, you are right- patience is KEY. It's just hard for me to deal with caution/containing if his emotions because he has let me into his emotional world in the past. I know there is much more to him than his tough exterior, but neither of us can reach each other on that level again yet. We both put up our shields after the break up and now it's just a chess game!
Posted by cancercrab717
.....but neither of us can reach each other on that level again yet. We both put up our shields after the break up and now it's just a chess game!
This is exactly why the ending is never truly written for Bulls and Crabs.
With the shields....
Comes the chess games.
If he allowed you into his emotional world before...
You already called checkmate.
The question you will have to ask yourself is "Why are you no longer a part of the chessboard?"
We rarely let individuals in...just to kick them back out.....
No pun intended.
Just something for you to ponder on.
@bullgem that's what I'm trying to figure out. I understand posting the second picture of a random girl. However tacky and tasteless it may be...some guys like to act like ladies men to stroke their ego. What I don't understand is why he posted my picture first. I am not a random girl, but rather a significant part of his life and the longest relationship he has had. His followers (friends and family) all know me closely. All of my friends saw this photo as well. And why write something as sentimental as the age we promised to to grow old together?
It's hard for me to believe he's just a cruel soul who wants to mess with my head for no reason and quite randomly. He doesn't typically bother people he doesn't care about...he has no time for them.
It's hard for me to believe he's just a cruel soul who wants to mess with my head for no reason and quite randomly. He doesn't typically bother people he doesn't care about...he has no time for them.
Posted by RoseTheTaurus
I don't talk to any of my exes...and with no malice whatsoever...I have no desire to. I don't think I have ever just washed my hands clean of a relationship. Every relationship I've been in, had a long, drawn out break up process. I'm not saying there was a lot of breaking up and making up. It was more like a very long goodbye, made up of explanations and reiterations that the relationship was really over.
I'm pretty much like this too; EXCEPT, with my ex-fianc? (the Libra). We are very good friends, and while we haven't been together now for many years, I know he will always have my back, and I will have his. I will always have a love for him, and vice versa, but that doesn't mean we would ever reignite ANYTHING again. The past is just that...the past, and has RoseTheTaurus said, sometimes the breakups are so long and drawn out, that it's kind of a relief when it's over! At least that's been my experience.
With a side note, I recently was contacted by my ex-Leo 😢 I wish I never would have started talking to him again. I did it against my better judgment, and now I am kicking myself! Booooo 😢 Now, I must withdraw and extricate myself from this f@cking poor judgment on my part. I'm a big girl, and I did it to myself...
Posted by BullGem
I somewhat agree with that. Nostalgia probably played a part.
But...I don't understand why he would post this picture for all to see. Personally, if I feel a bit melancholic, it's a private matter. Maybe that's just the way I operate.
I'm trying to understand what his motives may be -not that I detect any malice behind his actions- but it would be very non-taurus to do this kind of thing without reason.click to expand
I agree with the private matter.
I'm EXTREMELY private when I'm in a melancholic state.
But when the emotions becomes unbearable, I find myself 'venting' alone, the second step is 'serenity,' (finding peace and accepting that things were not meant to be)...and then the third step, calling this individual or accepting a friendship when I know in my heart I'm not ready to move on, the fourth and last step, regret.
"Why did I call this person agreeing to a friendship? I 'm not ready to make nice! I need more time."
(I'm guessing his regret?...the photo?)
When the friendship persists, I go back into withdrawal mode.
This is why regression doesn't work for me. Too many memories and too many steps involved.
The same length (very long duration) of time it takes for me to let people in...it becomes just as hard for me to let them go.
I've thought many times about telling him that I still care, and I have never stopped. Yet my fear of rejection is keeping me from doing so. I''m just as private as he is with his emotions and I keep them heavily guarded when I feel a threat. While I have been tolerant/friendly with him, I have never outright stated my feelings of either friendship or love (or even really hinted at them for that matter). He is the one who has maintained the contact with me since we have parted. I have reciprocated the the contact but kept my distance emotionally. My #1 fear is opening up and him not admitting to feeling the same way...or worse, him not saying anything at all! That's why I want to know what his motives are before I potentially humiliate myself. Especially if he is doing all of this maliciously or f**k with me post break-up.
When I ask him why he does the things he does his only response is "i don't know."
Posted by BullGem
I like what you're saying taurusbull.
It's probable this taurus wasn't actually ready to be a friend to our cancer here; he may have spoken too fast or he had no idea that his emotions would be too strong, like you said, hence venting publically.
That makes sense. Though, we don't know if that's the reason.
True.
But I sense an unspoken love between these two.
I don't know how their story line was written.
He's driving her crazy...and with those photos...driving himself crazy...LOL! 🙂
But I'm curious as to why the Cancer was given the Bull's "Two hooves" out of his life....
Posted by cancercrab717
When I ask him why he does the things he does his only response is "i don't know."
I was in a similar situation with a Cancer.
He wanted to be a part of my life.
I told him that we should just be friends.
I was overwhelmed with so many things at the time (family problems, finances, yes we're the caretakers of our family).
I felt the same way about him emotionally.
Why didn't I pursue it?
Bad timing, Uncertainty, Trust issues, Sorting things out, Taking care of everyone else?
I couldn't give you one exact answer if you asked me.
Seriously.
Truthfully.
When he moved on.
I was emotionally devastated.
When I saw a picture of him and his new girlfriend,
I literally got sick...depressed.
No one knew it.
I kept it in.
We're very good at keeping up brave faces.
Tried to convince myself that it was for the best. It wouldn't have worked out anyway.
I congratulated him on finding someone knew.
Regretted it afterwards.
Posted something on FB about healing and moving on.
Regretted it afterwards.
Big lie.
Hid the post from my profile.
If he were to ask me that exact same question....
Why did I do the things that I did?
I would probably give a synonymous answer.
"I don't know."
Or I would probably have to copy and paste everything I just wrote, and send it to him by email. LOL 🙂
Posted by BullGem
If it is a case of unspoken love with both wanting more yet fearing the other won't reciprocate, then it's best they took some time apart to figure it all out.
Maybe with some time and distance, it will be clearer as to what they want. To be together or not. Otherwise, they're both torturing the other and themselves. tsk tsk...click to expand
You're absolutely correct....
@taurusbull I wish I could give you an explanation for why we decided not to be together. I don't know the answer. In so many words, it was his lack of communication and emotional distance to me due what I believe was a variety of issues (him getting arrested, financial problems, the stress of a new business, too much responsibility and us living in separate cities.) However, the way he decided to act during and after the break up was mind boggling. He told me he had "changed" as a person. I always felt as if he was putting on an act, and his sudden propensity to change just covered up the struggles he was dealing with. In fact, the last time I saw him he admitted that he missed me and he hadnt changed.. It's a long story but if you care to learn more it is here:
https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/taurus/help-explain-the-unexplainable-taurus-3546942/
Your story reminds me so much of my own @taurusbull. Taurus people have a way of pushing people away and building walls for no explanation at all. I just want to break him down and and have him be honest with me again, because I know what an amazing people you bulls can be.
https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/taurus/help-explain-the-unexplainable-taurus-3546942/
Your story reminds me so much of my own @taurusbull. Taurus people have a way of pushing people away and building walls for no explanation at all. I just want to break him down and and have him be honest with me again, because I know what an amazing people you bulls can be.
I speak to only two ex's as good friends. These two are worth my time.
I read your initial post. (The link above)
This statement caught my attention:
"I am still the same person. I am still running away from all of my problems."
Most Bulls deal with our problems head-on. We rarely run away from them. He may have felt that the pressure was too overwhelming.
He may have put himself 'last' in the middle of all this crisis. He may have felt whatever was causing him stress in his life...to just go ahead and negate anything involved with it. You mentioned that he became a 'minimalist' and decided to get rid of all his material possessions. Being with a younger crowd probably gave him a newfound freedom and a sense of peace.
But the two of you didn't have a rocky break-up. No cheating, verbal or physical abuse involved. The mutual respect is still there. The both of you simply didn't have any closure.
It sounds to me that he is still the same person. Affectionate, attentive and protective. That didn't change.
His life style however, has changed somewhat.
Have you had discussions with him about it?
He may feel that you may be a bit too judgmental. I don't know. I could be wrong.
In the next conversation.
Try getting him to open up more about why he chose to change his life style .
This may be the key to winning him back.
(I was curious as to why you were no longer a part of his life).
We rarely let individuals go...unless it's something really DRASTIC.
This statement caught my attention:
"I am still the same person. I am still running away from all of my problems."
Most Bulls deal with our problems head-on. We rarely run away from them. He may have felt that the pressure was too overwhelming.
He may have put himself 'last' in the middle of all this crisis. He may have felt whatever was causing him stress in his life...to just go ahead and negate anything involved with it. You mentioned that he became a 'minimalist' and decided to get rid of all his material possessions. Being with a younger crowd probably gave him a newfound freedom and a sense of peace.
But the two of you didn't have a rocky break-up. No cheating, verbal or physical abuse involved. The mutual respect is still there. The both of you simply didn't have any closure.
It sounds to me that he is still the same person. Affectionate, attentive and protective. That didn't change.
His life style however, has changed somewhat.
Have you had discussions with him about it?
He may feel that you may be a bit too judgmental. I don't know. I could be wrong.
In the next conversation.
Try getting him to open up more about why he chose to change his life style .
This may be the key to winning him back.
(I was curious as to why you were no longer a part of his life).
We rarely let individuals go...unless it's something really DRASTIC.
Posted by RoseTheTaurus
I don't talk to any of my exes...and with no malice whatsoever...I have no desire to. I don't think I have ever just washed my hands clean of a relationship. Every relationship I've been in, had a long, drawn out break up process. I'm not saying there was a lot of breaking up and making up. It was more like a very long goodbye, made up of explanations and reiterations that the relationship was really over.
This! QTF.
Don't keep in contact with my exes at all. Or really any guy I use to like.
Right now I have no contact with my Cancer ex. Last time we were together was trouble. We always fall back to the comfort and to disengage is heartbreak all over again for me, and we broke up 3 years ago.
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I dated a Taurus male for three years and we decided to separate even though it was very complicated (and still is). As far as I know, there was no betrayal/unfaithfulness in the relationship. The biggest reason for our split was his emotional distance and lack of communication. I assumed after the split we would cease all communication and he would cut me off, as I had seen him do with so many others in his life. However, he stays in contact with me and is usually always the one initiating communication. I usually hear from him 2-3 times a week, if not everyday at some points. He tells me about his life, asks about mine, is in contact with me on every single form of social media, texts me regularly, always sends me pictures of himself and what he's doing. He asks me if I am dating anyone and confirmed that he is not. Recently, his sister randomly contacted me through text, and sent me pictures of her and him just to say "hi". Last week, his mom wrote on my instagram wishing me a merry christmas and saying she missed me. My ex and I usually just text but he called me twice on new years at 5 am just to wish me a happy new year. I didn't answer the calls cause I was out with friends. He doesn't drink and we live 2,000 miles apart so I can't really view it as a booty call. We never agreed to be friends after the split, and we actually have never had closure from the breakup because we're both stubborn and avoid the conversation. I've only seen him once post break up, before he moved to California, and we hooked up. This contact has been going on for 7 months.
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His Chart:
Sun- Taurus
Moon- Cancer
Venus- Aries
Her Chart:
Sun- Cancer
Moon- Capricorn
Venus- Leo