When a Taurus man disappears

This topic was created in the Taurus forum by Camilla_Dilla on Saturday, September 5, 2015 and has 112 replies.
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I'm a Taurus woman who met a Taurus man a few months ago on vacation. We really hit it off. So much so that I ended up spending the last 10 hours of my solo vacation with him. We went to dinner together and I stayed at his hotel where we kissed and cuddled all night.


He lives in another state so when it was time for me to leave we agreed to stay in touch and since then, we have. We've been in contact with each other everyday. We'd talk on the phone for hours. Sometimes up to 4 and 6 hours! we were really getting to know each other.

He complained that the distance was "tough" and I suggested that we go ahead and plan to see each other to keep things moving. On Monday, we set a date and talked for about 2 hours and that was the last I heard from him.

He disappeared. I thought something may have been wrong with him when my texts and calls went unanswered until I saw him tweeting. That's when I realized that I was being ignored. I'm feeling pretty crushed. This guy I've been getting to know and talking to daily is now ignoring me and I have no idea why. Our last conversation was good. Now I'm all confused and pretty hurt.

Why do Taurus men do this??
Seems to be a typical taurus train. I've experienced it before from a taurus. This guy I'm talking about though... The disappearance was weird. I felt like we had really connected after these past few months. He finally texted me back today though apologizing and saying he had been busy. It's the first time this happened between us and I'm just super skeptical and leery now. We're doing this long distance so communication is all we have. If he disappears out of nowhere for a week, then it makes me pause and look at things differently.
He's conservative by nature ... you spent a night with him too soon. He lost interest.
We didn't even do anything though! lol The main reason why I stayed above all was because the air in my room broke and it was hot! His hotel had air. lol I told him that too. Besides, if he lost interest because of that, then why keep talking so often 3 months after that??

Posted by PiscesArt
He complained that the distance was "tough" - he doesnt want to see you. believe me, if he would want to he would find the way. believe me.. i ended relationship with taurus man not long ago

Well, he said that he could come down to visit me at the end of next month... So, I assume setting a date might indicate that he wants to... I don't see him just saying that he wants to come if he really doesn't.
Posted by evalani290
Posted by Camilla_Dilla
We didn't even do anything though! lol The main reason why I stayed above all was because the air in my room broke and it was hot! His hotel had air. lol I told him that too. Besides, if he lost interest because of that, then why keep talking so often 3 months after that??



He probably felt suffocated,while you believe that you were getting to know him,he got tired of the "bonding",he felt the need to withdraw and "get back" his sense of freedom,doing other things that makes him feel less emotional like sports,hanging with his friends,other that just stay and talk to you for hours.

For men bonding it doesn't feel like bonding for us,we are used to emotions,we go through much more turmoil on a daily basis than men do.
At some point they all do this,on purpose or not,it's there. It's not meant to be taken personally,when you feel threaten by this is when you don't want him to have his freedom.

That or he is just selfish,that's for you to evaluate. Just keep in mind that men don't bond like us and they don't feel as comfortable as we do when it comes to emotions. Plus he already said that this long distance relationship was hard for him,so you create a certain level of intimacy while you don't have the chance to express it with actions,that's a block for a Taurus right there,can you relate to this,as a Taurus sign?

Keep a realistic view to all this because it can turn out to get a false image in your head when you just talk to that person and see less of them in person. All that talk you had with him it's just theory until you can actually have the chance to spend some time with him.
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I think what you're saying here sounds more logical... I can see how he may feel that way. And I can respect him taking some time to himself. I'm not against it, but it just felt kind of... Weird being that it was so abrupt and without any warning. Taurus's and our routines! I hate sudden changes to stuff I get used to.

But I get it. I feel inside like the best thing I can do is give him some space and just let him reach back out to me... Maybe we can circle back around and talk about it when I'm less on edge or insecure about the fact that I kinda freaked out and assumed the wors
Posted by busyeyes88
Posted by Camilla_Dilla
Seems to be a typical taurus train. I've experienced it before from a taurus. This guy I'm talking about though... The disappearance was weird. I felt like we had really connected after these past few months. He finally texted me back today though apologizing and saying he had been busy. It's the first time this happened between us and I'm just super skeptical and leery now. We're doing this long distance so communication is all we have. If he disappears out of nowhere for a week, then it makes me pause and look at things differently.

The thing is... You now know what he is like and what he is capable of so just don't invest too much. Play it by ear. Let him initiate and make arrangements to meet and just carry on as normal
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EXACTLY how I'm feeling right now. I said this to a friend. I see what he's capable of doing so it makes me just fall back. I'll feel a lot more comfortable with him initiating things and following up with if he's REALLY trying to come down to visit. He chose the date next month, so I'm just gonna be cautious and see if he actually brings it up or is really trying to make moves.
Posted by ScorpiosHarmony
Posted by Koniucha
They all do that, not just Taurus.

true,

all men do this, they just don't have the courage to tell you they're no longer interested.
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This is what i find very irritating. How are you suppose to progress a good relationship when one behaves likes this. :S

I'm still having on and off communication with the Taurus guy I know and the late responses are what annoy me the most. I've become used to his so called disappearing pattern. Yesterday he texting me saying ' Hey sexy how's you xx'

I responded ' Hey handsome fella I'm great thanks.. how are you? xxx '

After that no response from him :S
Angeleyes17,

But you are beautiful scorpia so don't worry if you get no response. He was just trying to see if you respond right away.
Don't feel bad if he doesn't respond maybe he was just busy or just taking his time. Do your own thing and enjoy life.

When I was with my ex taur.. he was the one initiating contact.. he is more into me. I sometimes don't send a message that irritates him. lol

Posted by M143
Angeleyes17,

But you are beautiful scorpia so don't worry if you get no response. He was just trying to see if you respond right away.
Don't feel bad if he doesn't respond maybe he was just busy or just taking his time. Do your own thing and enjoy life.

When I was with my ex taur.. he was the one initiating contact.. he is more into me. I sometimes don't send a message that irritates him. lol



Thank you for your kind words. x

I actually have been carrying on as normal. I have my sisters wedding planning to arrange so all my focus is on that at the moment. I didn’t respond back straight away (it was like 30- 45min after). You know i was actually saying that to myself that he could be busy.. but can you really be that busy that you start and convo and just leave it hanging?

Is what why he initiated the first move coz you weren’t responding straight away?
Posted by busyeyes88
Posted by Angeleyes17
Posted by ScorpiosHarmony
Posted by Koniucha
They all do that, not just Taurus.

true,

all men do this, they just don't have the courage to tell you they're no longer interested.

This is what i find very irritating. How are you suppose to progress a good relationship when one behaves likes this. :S

I'm still having on and off communication with the Taurus guy I know and the late responses are what annoy me the most. I've become used to his so called disappearing pattern. Yesterday he texting me saying ' Hey sexy how's you xx'

I responded ' Hey handsome fella I'm great thanks.. how are you? xxx '

After that no response from him :S


You can't make "good progress " if the other person does not respond!! All men do this and when they do this I cut them off completely ie DELETE their details!!! If they "come back".. They are "friend zoned"!! If they query why they now "friend zoned", I will tell them about their stupid ass and then friend zone still... NEXT!!!

The world is too small; time is of the essence; the ocean is too big!!!
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I understand where youre coming from. When i mentioned about progress in a relationship, i wasnt refering to The taurus man i know.. just in general.. people get bored easy, find someone else, cheat, distance of location, age becomes an issue, are too busy, too clingy, too distant its really endless how much is into this. I do the same too.. the guy is in the past and i keep them in the past.. few times iv had those guys trying to get in contact with me to start again but i simply just say No!! When you dont see yourself with them or they gave you a crappy experience then whats going to change now?
Posted by busyeyes88
Posted by Angeleyes17
Posted by M143
Angeleyes17,

But you are beautiful scorpia so don't worry if you get no response. He was just trying to see if you respond right away.
Don't feel bad if he doesn't respond maybe he was just busy or just taking his time. Do your own thing and enjoy life.

When I was with my ex taur.. he was the one initiating contact.. he is more into me. I sometimes don't send a message that irritates him. lol



Thank you for your kind words. x

I actually have been carrying on as normal. I have my sisters wedding planning to arrange so all my focus is on that at the moment. I didn’t respond back straight away (it was like 30- 45min after). You know i was actually saying that to myself that he could be busy.. but can you really be that busy that you start and convo and just leave it hanging?

Is what why he initiated the first move coz you weren’t responding straight away?


If a man truly really wants you, he will do whatever it takes... He will pursue. You don't have to play hard to get and he has to chase you forever, but he should be initiating 80 % of the time. My taurus friend will even call me from abroad when he is holiday ; tell me when he's going; where he's going; how for etc and we are platonic friends who are attracted to each other for 8 months.

I never start a convo and leave it hanging, but I will finish one really quickly if I am bored!!!! Sometimes with taurus "out of sight " "out of mind"!
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''If a man truly really wants you, he will do whatever it takes... He will pursue'' - I heard this a lot on this forum or soo many users have had the same problem with a guy and its clicked and they had strong chemistry and the next thing you know.. he’s disappeared or distant himself.. I haven’t come across any positive post on a good relationship that’s progressing well.. Even when the guy / girl pursues.. you let that guard down and open up, then eventually that chase,, that pursuing dies down..
The last two posts from Busy +1000

From what's been written, I'm not convinced he's that interested in you.

What you have are random texts from him which say nothing of interest. You respond back regardless of day or time, quickly or slowly, and then nothing.

Think of this guy dangling a fishing rod with a bit of bread on it.

Oh look, she's bitten. She must still be interested. I'll just go over to the next pond and see what's happening there and then maybe I'll come back to this pond in a few days or a week to see if she still bites.

In addition, after you suggested meeting up he disappeared. Having some personal experience in the holiday romance department ***cough cough*** I really wouldn't bother investing any more time in him unless HE is initiating calls and booking dates and tickets to come and see you. If he books then take it from there, keep the contact going. Booking isn't the same as arriving and following through. Oh and let him be the one to come to you.

It sounds to me as if he could take or leave you. He had a nice time with you on holiday, did the keeping in contact thing, then when it became a reality and the possibility of actually bothering to put the effort in to see you he lost interest because suddenly it's not just a text message or two from the comfort of his arm chair.

Sure, life happens and people are busy but I feel you're placing more emphasis on this than he is so you have an imbalance. If he's not following through with his plan and he's not bothered with leaving you in doubt regarding his intentions then it probably isn't going anywhere you want it to go.

That's not your fault. That's just how it is.

I've had a few holiday romances and one was great, I went back to see him (easier for me due to visas) a few times. I have one on the go now from my holiday in August, I'm not looking for a relationship but I've the opportunity to return if I want. The other one was a complete disaster!
Posted by Angeleyes17
''If a man truly really wants you, he will do whatever it takes... He will pursue'' - I heard this a lot on this forum or soo many users have had the same problem with a guy and its clicked and they had strong chemistry and the next thing you know.. he’s disappeared or distant himself.. I haven’t come across any positive post on a good relationship that’s progressing well.. Even when the guy / girl pursues.. you let that guard down and open up, then eventually that chase,, that pursuing dies down..

there are good relationships out there. i think the problem is no one initiates a post when it is going perfectly. most people come here to find answers to problems or to rant so it gives a false impression that all there is are problems.
Posted by busyeyes88
You don't have to play hard to get and he has to chase you forever, but he should be initiating 80 % of the time.

80% ? Of course, its going to be different for every relationship. What really determines this in any GIVEN relationship is the unique chemistry between two individuals. Busy feels like the Queen so men just have to kiss the ring a lot for instance...lol.

But if you're going to generalize without any of that taken into consideration, I think that number should be right at 50% (lower for Taurus men, lol). I think your mindset around courtship, and that of a lot of women, is still stuck in a previous generation.

What's at the root of this 80% business? Ideas about gender roles? How are those ideas still relevant or justified in modern society? Why should men accept them? I'm really curious to see where your head is at on this....
Seeing another cluster of Taurus disappearance threads.

I think it really is the case that if a Taurus disappears on you (not just takes too long in responding via social medai/texting/etc.), he just has a reason why, in his mind, you aren't going to work out. Why is he obligated to talk that out with you? Maybe he feels like he's protecting you from a *compatibility* judgment that he doesn't want to leave a lasting impression on you - one that revolves around his own idiosyncrasy.
Posted by Angeleyes17
Posted by ScorpiosHarmony
Posted by Koniucha
They all do that, not just Taurus.

true,

all men do this, they just don't have the courage to tell you they're no longer interested.

This is what i find very irritating. How are you suppose to progress a good relationship when one behaves likes this. :S

I'm still having on and off communication with the Taurus guy I know and the late responses are what annoy me the most. I've become used to his so called disappearing pattern. Yesterday he texting me saying ' Hey sexy how's you xx'

I responded ' Hey handsome fella I'm great thanks.. how are you? xxx '

After that no response from him :S

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He wasn't trying to enter a real or deep convo., which he probably wouldn't want to do via text. This just looks like he thought of you, and wanted to reach out and let you know that was the case. He's paying you a compliment/letting you know you're on his mind.

There also are really no formal rules on what is acceptable response time for texts, are there? I have really close friends where we text and only get back to one another like every few days, others we go weeks, etc. We just keep it going. If it was a letter in the mail, months would be ok. With emails it seems its acceptable to go a couple/few days. But with texts, it seems there's this demand for immediate response. Why is that? Is it because you know we have our phone on us wherever we go? LOL.

I don't though. I get home and plug that thing in to charge upstairs, then I chill downstairs. I turn my ringer off all day long when at work, when i go out at night, etc. If I'm at a friends place, I usually stash my phone somewhere because I don't even like the way it feels in my pocket. LOL. I get SO annoyed by the constant ringing, constant texts, Facebook notifications, ads, and random nonsense that pop up from some game I shouldn't have downloaded. If I let that phone rule my life it will, so I have to quarantine it for most of the day or I can't get anything done. Maybe he's like that.

A big thing for me too is that I'll read a text from someone, and be in a place I can't respond - dri
(cut off...)

A big thing for me too is that I'll read a text from someone, and be in a place I can't respond - driving, work meeting/conference, at dinner with someone who would be pissed if I start texting away, etc. - so I read it, then say "Ok, going to respond to them later". Sometimes I forget to do that though, or I get even busier....

Most bulls I know suck at keeping in touch in general, or using social media, texting, etc. I think the "out of sight/out of mind" stuff is generally true for us....unless there is already a REALLY strong pre-existing connection. Texting just seems like it is not a good way to build a relationship with a Taurus....
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
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A big thing for me too is that I'll read a text from someone, and be in a place I can't respond - driving, work meeting/conference, at dinner with someone who would be pissed if I start texting away, etc. - so I read it, then say "Ok, going to respond to them later". Sometimes I forget to do that though, or I get even busier....

Most bulls I know suck at keeping in touch in general, or using social media, texting, etc. I think the "out of sight/out of mind" stuff is generally true for us....unless there is already a REALLY strong pre-existing connection. Texting just seems like it is not a good way to build a relationship with a Taurus....

i don't want to be contrary tls. i'm mostly in agreeance with you but the thing about texting. my bull and i never talk on the phone. mostly because he is too busy to ever sit down and chat so it's the only way we can keep in contact throughout the day and at night. you guys will do it if you have to. plus we were both too shy to call each other so text was great at the start. i guess it's just a habit now.
Posted by busyeyes88
Posted by jeane
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
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A big thing for me too is that I'll read a text from someone, and be in a place I can't respond - driving, work meeting/conference, at dinner with someone who would be pissed if I start texting away, etc. - so I read it, then say "Ok, going to respond to them later". Sometimes I forget to do that though, or I get even busier....

Most bulls I know suck at keeping in touch in general, or using social media, texting, etc. I think the "out of sight/out of mind" stuff is generally true for us....unless there is already a REALLY strong pre-existing connection. Texting just seems like it is not a good way to build a relationship with a Taurus....

i don't want to be contrary tls. i'm mostly in agreeance with you but the thing about texting. my bull and i never talk on the phone. mostly because he is too busy to ever sit down and chat so it's the only way we can keep in contact throughout the day and at night. you guys will do it if you have to. plus we were both too shy to call each other so text was great at the start. i guess it's just a habit now.

I.would never be in touch with my exes during the day when I was working.. I would only speak to them in an emergency which was rare or after work.
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what can i say busy? maybe he is an anomaly. Winking
Posted by jeane
mostly because he is too busy to ever sit down and chat so it's the only way we can keep in contact throughout the day and at night. you guys will do it if you have to. plus we were both too shy to call each other so text was great at the start. i guess it's just a habit now.

I'm sure there are exceptions; maybe some even prefer it for the reason you say - the convenience. Maybe its not even the norm, but I have seen it a lot with bulls I know and on the boards here as well. Post after post especially of these dropped convos/unanswered questions, etc.
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
Posted by jeane
mostly because he is too busy to ever sit down and chat so it's the only way we can keep in contact throughout the day and at night. you guys will do it if you have to. plus we were both too shy to call each other so text was great at the start. i guess it's just a habit now.

I'm sure there are exceptions; maybe some even prefer it for the reason you say - the convenience. Maybe its not even the norm, but I have seen it a lot with bulls I know and on the boards here as well. Post after post especially of these dropped convos/unanswered questions, etc.
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yes, i see your point.
Posted by busyeyes88
Hey I'm old school and WORKS for me!!!

Well, I just negotiated you down from 80% to 50% really easily. lolol. Do you feel like you lose power or gain power if you do 50% ? LOL, maybe you are trying to preserve your own power by doing less of the courting. If a man tries harder than you do, to make it work, doesn't that signify that you are of greater value than he is? Or could it be the opposite and, by you letting him do the brunt of the work, maybe you are conceding that he is naturally stronger and more capable of initiating and being assertive/courageous? He has to steer the ship from the start. Both sides of that line of 50/50 equality seem a bit treacherous IMO, even in courtship.

Taurus men are a tad androgynous on my view - not necessarily regarding sexual preference, but in the sense of having more of an even blend of both of the traditionally conceived feminine/masculine characteristics. I love that about the sign and it makes it REALLY easy to communicate with women. But I think your notions of masculinity are really dated, harmful to women, and also extremely hypocritical (more on that below).

There are many different forms of power. A man who can attract a woman with very little effort, has his own form of power - the power of attraction (which Venus is associated with), and he may even see it as weak to have to pursue/initiate/court a women to too great of an extent. A man like that might actually wind up having a greater balance of power and dominance for the entirety of the relationship, and courtship could just be a purview of that.

What is "proper" with regards to courtship is constantly in flux; it is historically, culturally, and geographically conditioned, etc. I think the world is moving away from this. We're becoming more accepting of females who channel masculine energy, and males who channel feminine energy. But I don't think men have ever pursued women because they merely valued your idea of masculine traits. I think it was more about the perceived need to do so, in order to get a woman, or a certain type of woman. Men will probably just do whatever works. And its just a lot easier nowadays for men to get what they want (seems like sex for most in the 1st half of life), because it is much more acceptable that women be more assertive/aggressive and even sexually expressive.
To Busy (cont.) -- Here's where you're being a hypocrite though. You don't have the traditional/stereotypical feminine nature to match the traditional role you're looking for in a man! LOL. See, you are a very strong/assertive/empowered/opinionated/independent woman. You're yearning to be courted by your ideal of a type of man who was allegedly more common in a previous generation. But guess what? You have many of the traditionally masculine qualities, so IF you were born into a generation like that, that kind of man would probably not even court you (which we know you hate! lolol). I think, its very obvious just from experiencing your personality, that you should be very *grateful* for the dissolution of traditional gender roles!

I think your views also set women back, even as you think you're empowering them, because you implicitly associate the qualities of femininity with weakness. Maybe there is equal or even greater strength in attracting than there is in being attracted and pursuing. It seems to me that the beauty/allure/sexuality of women has been one of the most valued, powerful, and *feared* things in the world since the beginning of recorded history, so much so that men have and still do, harness their physical dominance/strength to suppress it, control it, and sell it and almost everything by *means* of it, on a global scale.


Posted by busyeyes88
I am quoting you at your comment re 50% !!! I could never have a man that does 50% initiation or lower!! 80% works for me! I don't purse or chase. I am assertive I just don't use my assertiveness in pursuing men.... I dont need to... They masculine man will know what do do!

LOL, are you sure? Are you just being a stubborn bull? Because you said "Lower than 50% is not masculinity!!...I will do my part if a man shows interest but I will not be doing over 50% while he stagnates at under 50% !!!" You really sound like you were ready for real equality there. You sounded like you could do the 50% .

So now we are back up to 80% , just because its your preference. Its "proper". But why? Is there a reason why you think it *should* be that way? It seems that a lot of men disagree these days. Or is it just a subjective view like a preference for a certain flavor of ice cream.

All the things you say could be reversed - "If a woman truly really wants you, he will do whatever it takes... He will pursue." That's been my experience with women actually. Plenty of women will pursue, and are not following your gender roles. Maybe your beef is with them. They're making it easier for men to be passive.
Posted by Nevermore
High pride.. I mean to pride.

Taurus Sun, Leo Ascendant, Leo Moon...lol. I mean that's really what it comes down to, isn't it?
Posted by busyeyes88
If he stops... Then it ends as I will not pursue..

So just tell us why.
Posted by busyeyes88
If you were of the sign dominant in air or fire, you would have pursued her and asked her out instead of dreaming of her from afar..

Eh, I'm fire dominant - fire Moon, Merc, Mars, etc., and the Mars should factor in most in that case. I was really conflicted with the guilt issue - being on/off with another woman when this all started. And also, it was really intense emotionally, but I didn't know if it would *work* - wasn't sure I *wanted* to get close to a passion so strong with someone that I *wasn't* compatible with. I have a daughter. Did you ever see someone and feel an attraction where you just know it is going to be extremely dangerous and volatile? That's how it was. That's a *healthy* fear IMO. Love/hate is not good for kids to witness IMO. PLUS, sometimes, even if a person is assertive/aggressive/courageous, they meet someone who is simply out of their league. I felt she kinda was. I don't think it is weak to admit that. Not everyone is right for you, even though you're strongly attracted. Taking risks is not my thing. You can have an aversion to risk, yet be aggressive in circumstances with better odds. I'm very aggressive in certain areas of my life. But for whatever reason (honestly not bragging here), I attract a lot of really high maintenance/physically attractive females. She was gorgeous, with tremendous pride, and I could tell VERY high maintenance emotionally. Sometimes, that can be a whole lot of work, and not worth the reward. Sometimes some things are better left as a dream from afar. That's what I tell myself anyway...lol. And not trying to dredge this up for the 1,000 time. Just justifying myself a bit here...lol
Posted by busyeyes88
Posted by Nevermore
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
To Busy (cont.) -- Here's where you're being a hypocrite though. You don't have the traditional/stereotypical feminine nature to match the traditional role you're looking for in a man! LOL. See, you are a very strong/assertive/empowered/opinionated/independent woman. You're yearning to be courted by your ideal of a type of man who was allegedly more common in a previous generation. But guess what? You have many of the traditionally masculine qualities, so IF you were born into a generation like that, that kind of man would probably not even court you (which we know you hate! lolol). I think, its very obvious just from experiencing your personality, that you should be very *grateful* for the dissolution of traditional gender roles!

I think your views also set women back, even as you think you're empowering them, because you implicitly associate the qualities of femininity with weakness. Maybe there is equal or even greater strength in attracting than there is in being attracted and pursuing. It seems to me that the beauty/allure/sexuality of women has been one of the most valued, powerful, and *feared* things in the world since the beginning of recorded history, so much so that men have and still do, harness their physical dominance/strength to suppress it, control it, and sell it and almost everything by *means* of it, on a global scale.




Or in short that she has definitely a high pride problem.

It's not a problem for me or for the men with the guts enough to approach me!!!
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I think the problem with a lot of pride is that it makes it really hard to forgive and to apologize - two qualities that I think are most essential for a healthy long term relationship, since we all are so deeply flawed.
Posted by busyeyes88
You may have felt the "danger" but why not pursue instead of having this "if only" or "I wonder "!! High maintenance? How do you know? Taurus men have a way way.of judging someone without even acting upon anything themselves!!!! Had you been more masculine or a fire or air sign you would have pursued!!!

Yes I have felt those things for someone but that did not stop me from entering a relationship with them!!!!!! I don't fear getting burnt by a fire!!! Which probably makes me more masculine than most men... But at least I can stand upto my convictions and pass without fe

I do have a way of judging...and testing...lol. I go a lot off of my instincts. I've learned to trust them. Its a feeling, but not so much an emotional one, but more of an intuitive one after a lot of observation - studying a person, how they handle themselves, interact with others, what lengths they'll go to, to get what they want - how they respond when they don't get what they want, etc. Off the sum total of everything I took in, I think I made the right decision for my self and other parties involved at the time, so I'm ok with it.

In my youth I was in some really passionate rocky relationships - my first love especially. Great sex....She and I were both virgins when we met. She was a Cancer and it was like she was completely instinctively tuned in to everything I desired physically. Being young and a Taurus, that had such an impact on me. She could right every wrong in the bedroom. It was really magical chemistry. It was love/hate though. I left for school and tried LDR but she cheated with my best friend out of revenge, distrusting me at school (I never even THOUGHT of cheating on her once). I had a baseball bat swung at my head, she tried to kill herself right in front of me when I broke up with her..I had to physically stop her...it was pretty gory. It was passionate in many ways but not worth it. I'm more about mental connection so all the passion/emotion/physical chemistry definitely is tempting, but ....I think I've had my fill. We all have our preferences. I have a good convo with my Sag and I feel like I'm high. We talk all night. My Venus *needs* that to stay happy/interested. Sex is amazing as well. I would like a deeper emotional bond but we're working on it. A lot of that is about my issues, not her's.

Being brave to walk into a fire
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Being brave to walk into a fire is great, but I wouldn't do that with a kid.
Posted by busyeyes88
I don't fear getting burnt by a fire!!! Which probably makes me more masculine than most men... But at least I can stand upto my convictions and pass without fear

You probably have a lot of fear. Its just different. Your pride protects you; its like a wall that you have up making you feel strong and impenetrable. Most people who have a lot of pride have a *tremendous* fear of vulnerability. Being vulnerable can be an aspect of life that requires the most courage, because it feels like weakness. And it looks like weakness to others, so it requires great humility. I think its one of the most important lessons in life though.
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
(cut off...)

A big thing for me too is that I'll read a text from someone, and be in a place I can't respond - driving, work meeting/conference, at dinner with someone who would be pissed if I start texting away, etc. - so I read it, then say "Ok, going to respond to them later". Sometimes I forget to do that though, or I get even busier....

Most bulls I know suck at keeping in touch in general, or using social media, texting, etc. I think the "out of sight/out of mind" stuff is generally true for us....unless there is already a REALLY strong pre-existing connection. Texting just seems like it is not a good way to build a relationship with a Taurus....

Your advice and experiences really help so thank you for that. When i see his name on my phone it actually instantly puts a smile on my face. Him thinking of me does effect me in some odd way. I just really hoped this would progressed further but it isnt. Sad

If i did want to get this attention or start a conversation.. how can I do this?
Posted by busyeyes88
Respond! But if a person cannot be bothered to be in contact with you then what is the point?

thats the thing.. I'm being told or read here that Taurus's dont respond straight away or take there time or they are busy etc.. so how does that work? I leave them to it? cut them off because they dont respond back? This guy does respond but takes his time and randomly contacts me here and there,, which is the confusing part,
Posted by ScorpiosHarmony
Posted by Angeleyes17
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
(cut off...)

A big thing for me too is that I'll read a text from someone, and be in a place I can't respond - driving, work meeting/conference, at dinner with someone who would be pissed if I start texting away, etc. - so I read it, then say "Ok, going to respond to them later". Sometimes I forget to do that though, or I get even busier....

Most bulls I know suck at keeping in touch in general, or using social media, texting, etc. I think the "out of sight/out of mind" stuff is generally true for us....unless there is already a REALLY strong pre-existing connection. Texting just seems like it is not a good way to build a relationship with a Taurus....

Your advice and experiences really help so thank you for that. When i see his name on my phone it actually instantly puts a smile on my face. Him thinking of me does effect me in some odd way. I just really hoped this would progressed further but it isnt. Sad

If i did want to get this attention or start a conversation.. how can I do this?

@Angeleyes17 pleeeeease don't misunderstand the situation with what was written above, false hopes will only lead to heart break! He may be texting you because you were on his mind but if his texts messages did not state anything to progress your relationship ie. suggesting a date etc then he's only texting you to keep the door open. Sadly this is what a lot of guys do. They keep you hanging by a thin thread so that they can pop back into your life as they please. They're too cowardly to shut the door completely incase they may have made a mistake in other words this is called 'leaving your options open' and right now you're nothing more to him than just an option. I suggest you do the same, date other guys the ocean is wide!

I used to have your mindset, felt helpless and confused by all these players. Stop giving him or any man any kind of importance or power until he's earned it!
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I know and you are right. Knowing the truth does hurt. I'm just tired of dissapointment to be very honest. I dont want to make a 'man' to be the centre of attention. Life
......... life isnt all about that. Its just nice to have somone that cares about you and is by your side. I dont know why men act that way.. i feel its harsh leaving someone hanging that way. He makes it out to me that he likes me but doesnt act on it. I'm not getting any younger.. i deserve better in life. no timewasters
Posted by ScorpiosHarmony
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
Posted by busyeyes88
If he stops... Then it ends as I will not pursue..

So just tell us why.

It's common sense, why want someone who doesn't want you!
click to expand

So a man not initiating a convo at some point signals that he doesn't want you. But a woman not initiating doesn't signal this? A woman can't put in equal effort in initiating and pursuing? In a relationship, if both people are interested, shouldn't both people really be in pursuit of getting to know one another, spending time together, etc. I just don't see how you justify demanding more than 50% of the effort from a man these days. And I really don't see any women speaking up to even attempt to justify it (other than Busy just asserting it and saying "I'm old fashioned").
Posted by Angeleyes17
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
(cut off...)

A big thing for me too is that I'll read a text from someone, and be in a place I can't respond - driving, work meeting/conference, at dinner with someone who would be pissed if I start texting away, etc. - so I read it, then say "Ok, going to respond to them later". Sometimes I forget to do that though, or I get even busier....

Most bulls I know suck at keeping in touch in general, or using social media, texting, etc. I think the "out of sight/out of mind" stuff is generally true for us....unless there is already a REALLY strong pre-existing connection. Texting just seems like it is not a good way to build a relationship with a Taurus....

Your advice and experiences really help so thank you for that. When i see his name on my phone it actually instantly puts a smile on my face. Him thinking of me does effect me in some odd way. I just really hoped this would progressed further but it isnt. Sad

If i did want to get this attention or start a conversation.. how can I do this?
click to expand

I don't know the whole situation, and I'm not trying to give you false hope. Have you ever gone on a date, hung out? Talked on the phone? I do know that my Scorp friends, and Venus in Scorp friends HATE when I leave a text hanging, or am late to respond. And this obviously is not a matter of me stringing them along so I can be a "player". They communicated this to me though, and now I really take more effort with them specifically. IF this is a pattern with this guy, and you actually like the guy, my advice is not to get all proud and cut them off or expect him to "earn" something. That's all just pride. Honesty/vulnerability/communication is a better way IMO. For instance, next time he texts, just tell him that whenever he texts you, you respond back with a question, and it seems like he ignores you. Tell him that bothers you. That's not being weak or desperate; its being truthful.

Have you ever just initiated a convo with this guy, or are you always waiting on him passively? If a man is *always* doing the initiation, and all we get are pleasant/cordial responses that just mirror our own, and we never can actually *see* your interest, we have no idea whether or not you like us or you're
(cut off)....If a man is *always* doing the initiation, and all we get are pleasant/cordial responses that just mirror our own, and we never can actually *see* your interest, we have no idea whether or not you like us or you're just being nice in responding to us. I hear women say this a lot. It goes both ways.
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
(cut off)....If a man is *always* doing the initiation, and all we get are pleasant/cordial responses that just mirror our own, and we never can actually *see* your interest, we have no idea whether or not you like us or you're just being nice in responding to us. I hear women say this a lot. It goes both ways.

To add to the above, in person, I can always read if a woman is interested or not. But over text, its much more difficult without the tone of voice, body language, eye contact....I'm a bit shy myself (I think most Taurus men are, especially at first), and if I can't get a good read on a situation (quite possible with Scorps as you guys often take a while to reveal feelings), I just don't want to be bothering a person. If a woman sees me as more of a friend, I sure as hell do not want to be a pest...
Posted by ScorpiosHarmony
I do hold traditional values that a man should be doing more initiating in the beginning, I prefer that approach but each to their own I suppose.

I understand preferring it. I prefer if a woman initiates...lol. Makes it a lot easier on me - I don't have to take any risk, reveal my hand, etc. But what I'm not seeing is any good reason why it *ought* to be that way, and I think these traditional roles are very obviously fading away. Coming from Scorpio women, I never get it, because Scorp women, a) being co-ruled by Mars, are typically very assertive in every other way - careers/goals/etc. and b) don't seem to really care about traditional gender roles in every other area. I always suspect its more about their own fear of being vulnerable, risking rejection, loss of power, etc., though I doubt many would admit that. This whole "you have to earn it", "are you brave enough to court me?", "prove your worth" thing....I don't even think its real, and if it is, it just sounds like entitlement, pride, and projection of past hurts right out the gate - not a good way to start any relationship IMO.

Anyway, one point that I think needs to be made, and this is against my self as well. When you are too passive (as a female *or* male), and always rely on a potential partner to assert, this could just as easily land you with the wrong type of partner. Plenty of "players" have mastered the art of being assertive/aggressive, have learned to project fake confidence, play the numbers game and deal with the rejection. Some of the most deeply insecure friends I have, are the best at initiating with women, and getting relationships *started*. So if you are *too* hesitant to assert yourself, these more aggressive types may be the only kinds of guys making it through. But there are plenty of men *and* women out there who are shy or reserved at first, take a while to open up, etc., but are serious about relationships, and over time the trust and confidence builds.
@TLS - regarding your last post and Scorp women being assertive in other areas except the dating world...

I've thought about this kind of thing as I find it hard not to be assertive or forward in the dating world as I'm quite assertive elsewhere. For me, I find us women are filled with stories of how the guy should initiate, chase etc and I do feel that to a certain degree but I also feel I'm not being me. I don't mean I like to chase and flog dead horses (done enough of that) but I find myself torn between sitting back and waiting on the guy to initiate, chase, court, plan, and lead but frankly, it rarely happens. Perhaps my expectations are too high here. I find it can suit me better to be more forward as it cuts the shit out and gets to the heart of it. Sitting and waiting for some dude to decide if he's into me or if he's going to bother himself to make the effort is painful. Do you like me? Yes. Do you want to go out? Yes. Done. Maybe we can get somewhere and enjoy it!

Ps: Taurus forum is becoming boring of late... 😔
Posted by Angeleyes17
Posted by busyeyes88
Respond! But if a person cannot be bothered to be in contact with you then what is the point?

thats the thing.. I'm being told or read here that Taurus's dont respond straight away or take there time or they are busy etc.. so how does that work? I leave them to it? cut them off because they dont respond back? This guy does respond but takes his time and randomly contacts me here and there,, which is the confusing part,
click to expand

yeah. see that is the thing i don't see with a taurus who is interested. in my experience, if they are interested they won't stop until they get you. once their mind is made up there is no changing it (which we all know, is both a blessing and a curse).

my advice would be to chase but not too much where you are , like agent p said, flogging a dead horse. these guys are shy, they are cautious and like everyone everywhere don't like to be rejected. if they know they have a good chance they you are going to say yes, then they will go for it but you have to have the right combination of them being interested and them knowing you are interested too.

once that happens, you can sit back and be pursued. they know they'll catch you eventually. so, show your interest (sometimes showing your interest overtly is needed with this lot) and then see how he responds. if he doesn't then you have your answer. if he does, winner winner chicken dinner.

don't want to be vulnerable? for me, i got so fed up with wondering about his feelings as well as thinking he was too good and i didn't want to let him get away that i was willing to take the chance on being rejected. i knew what i wanted. it was a case of money where your mouth is.
Posted by AgentP911
Do you like me? Yes. Do you want to go out? Yes. Done. Maybe we can get somewhere and enjoy it!

Ps: Taurus forum is becoming boring of late... 😔

That's how I'd approach it if I were a Scorp. Scorp's seem to really want to get things going. I hear that "is this going anywhere?" issue come up a lot. Bulls are definitely not in a rush, but being straightforward like this is the best way to circumvent the matter of us living in a world where time flows a little slower and you wind up feeling neglected, etc. Rather than sit around waiting, if you want something now, ask for it now. This is what I like about fire sign women; they're like that. Sometimes you have to take the bull by the horns, because we're content to just *be* more so than a lot of other signs.

And when has the Taurus forum not been boring? I think we've been pretty consistent with that..lol

What jeane is saying about a bull charging ahead, and not wavering, right...I agree actually, but that's when a bull really knows what they want. But that's not typically very early on in the relationship. What we're talking about here is courtship and the typically long/prolonged decision phase.
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
What jeane is saying about a bull charging ahead, and not wavering, right...I agree actually, but that's when a bull really knows what they want. But that's not typically very early on in the relationship. What we're talking about here is courtship and the typically long/prolonged decision phase.

yes, courtship though! and for courtship there must be contact. as someone dealing with a bull you have to keep that pot warm! not boiling over, just a nice gentle simmer. that's why you have to stay in their face like a fly on a bull. i think you have to be as persistent as they are. i guess that's where my libran stubbornness comes into play.

saying all of that though, it's easy to stay in contact where there is a genuine friendship. if there is no friendship i think it can be quite hard to stay in touch without any reciprocation.
Posted by busyeyes88
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
Posted by ScorpiosHarmony
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
Posted by busyeyes88
If he stops... Then it ends as I will not pursue..

So just tell us why.

It's common sense, why want someone who doesn't want you!

So a man not initiating a convo at some point signals that he doesn't want you. But a woman not initiating doesn't signal this? A woman can't put in equal effort in initiating and pursuing? In a relationship, if both people are interested, shouldn't both people really be in pursuit of getting to know one another, spending time together, etc. I just don't see how you justify demanding more than 50% of the effort from a man these days. And I really don't see any women speaking up to even attempt to justify it (other than Busy just asserting it and saying "I'm old fashioned").

It's obvious that the taurus is not fully invested and not playing fair and you should still not be advising her incorrectly!! If the taurus was proactive the OP would not have written this thread!!!
click to expand

LOL busy - I haven't even been addressing the OP this whole time! The only SPECIFIC advice I was giving I was in talking to Angeleyes about the text convo that dropped off with her bull.

The OP dropped out of this 6 page thread after the first page, like the Taurus that she is...lolol! Her bull probably eventually responded to her. And she'll be right back in there, not taking any of your advice to friend-zone him...hahahaha
Posted by busyeyes88
You like a fire sign woman because they will do what you can't do.. PURSUE!!!!!!

Busy - the flame doesn't chase after the moth....lolol. Its just the natural order of things.
Posted by busyeyes88
Need to step up and realise that what they want will not fall into their laps!!!!

It usually does though. Fairly common knowledge among astrologers too:

"Taurus, the feminine (yin) sheath of Venus, is attractive and magnetic. Taureans have personal magnetism and are able to draw others into their circle, rather than actively seeking them out. In other words, while they are very fond of members of the opposite sex, they prefer to be courted."


http://www.astrologycom.com/taurel.html
"In Archetypes of the Zodiac, Kathleen Burt tells us that there is a double-feminine influence in Taurus since its mundane ruler is Venus and it is the sign of the Moon's exaltation. With the double-feminine influence we have the receptivity of the Earth Mother herself which Isabel Hickey has described as 'the freshly plowed earth of springtime, ready for the seed.' Passive, patient, and placid, Taurus earth is fertile and fecund sexuality. As the mundane, instinctual ruler of Taurus, Venus, the principle of attraction, has a strong physical magnetism. As Linda Goodman has said in Sun Signs, 'Taurus', this energy is not sexually aggressive but prefers to attract others rather than pursue them."


http://astrology.gatewaytoatlantis.com/Signs/Taurus.shtml
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