Why Do Taurus Men Leave.....Then Come Back?

This topic was created in the Taurus forum by Unregistered on Thursday, June 13, 2002 and has 69 replies.
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me and my taurus share a lot of things in common. we both like the same things. we said we liked each other a lot. he even said he loved me too when i told him in a brief moment that we laughed off. he went away last summer to his family downsouth. we didn't speak during that time. when he got back he said he missed me. i said to him me to, then he said in a mushy tone "no you don't understand,i mmmiiissssss you" what the hell did that mean. i told him to help me understand. well anyway, he does this all the time. even if he doesn't leave town. we'll be going really good to start something special between us, then out of the blue HE WON'T CALL, WON'T E-MAIL ME, WON'T COME OVER. this can go on for weeks NO WORD AT ALL, then he comes back as if he never left. I'm pissed at him. he's so passionate then out of sight. what's his problem?Is he scared of me?
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Funny, I'm having the same problem with my Taurus friend -- only consider yourself lucky that you have seen yours and you probably live in the same state. I've haven't seen mine in years and we just reconnected last year. We've been speaking on the phone and chatting almost every day but now we haven't spoken in a few months. He suggested we give it a break. But my friend is experiencing career and divorce problems so at least I know what some of he's going through right now.
You should email -- or call your friend and ask him to tell you the real deal is -- and explain why he is not consistent with you. Even though my I'm aware of my friend's problems -- because it's been a few months now, I do wonder now so I'm about to get in touch with him and ask him the same.
From what I hear, Taurus men like stability and I believe consistency as well -- and they also need to sit back and think about what they are feeling for someone. As much as I love Taurus men, they need to understand that we need consistency from them as well. I don't like it when someone is in my life -- and dissapears the next -- even if it is brief. I don't take affairs of the heart lightly and I don't believe Taurus men do either.
I don't believe they realize this -- and I don't think they would like it done to them as well.
Hope some of this helps.
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I'm experiencing the same thing with my taurus. He also went home to his family, and has not spoken to me since he left. I don't mind saying that I'm terribly dissappointed in our less than perfect relationship, and quite frankly, I'm disgusted by his off and on behaviour. I need him out of my life for good- he says that he doesn't like drama, but he brings more of it in with him than meets with me- Go figure. Such a moody guy... I need more cuddles and consistency than he can give. It's so funny. I thought that taurus men would be a sure thing for stabilty and consistency, but what we have is anything but consistent and stable. One moment, he says that he loves me and that I'm the greatest love of his life, and then the next, he just dissapears... only to come back after months to pick up where he left off like nothing ever happened. I've tried to just drop the relationship so many times, but everytime I do, he comes running back. Why doesn't he just leave me alone?
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You are so right. A few months back -- speaking to my friend, he was having a bad day. When I tried to communicate with him all he said was I was creating drama. It kind of hurt me that he didn't want to speak to me about anything and I really thought it was due to his personal problems. But I'm finding out quickly that he is not consistent with me. Whatever happened to the stable, loyal and consistent Taurus men that I've heard about? I wonder if I'll speak to mine again at all. I do believe -- and listening to your stories as well -- when matters of the heart concern them and they feel something for someone, it appears they dissapear because they cannot handle it. But it's just a guess on my part. How long can one dissapear to think about what your feeling? Life is too short. I wish they would take a chance more because they could be missing out. Especially when two people have the same interests and want the same things in a relationship.
Well I don't know about you but I don't deserve the treatment. I want someone who is consistent in my life and there for me. Someone who appreciates me. I am always the one to get in touch with him, whether it be call/chat/email. And half of the time he does't respond when I email. So I haven't sent any in a month. And granted we are far apart and it makes it more difficult, but if someone said you were special why not make an effort? I cannot continue to make all the effort. And how can someone speak/chat with someone every day and then decide you need a break?
Don't get me wrong, I'm very sensitive to his issues right now but he does take me for granted -- knowing that I truly care for him. While he's getting his life straight perhaps he thinks I'm waiting. I don't know. Sometimes I admit the heart wants to do that but the head doesn't. But I feel he's worth it and it's the right thing to do -- I know he's my destiny. And I believe he knows it too. But it takes two to make anything work and Taurus men need to realize this. A friendship -- or relationship cannot be one sided.
Perhaps I need to move on. I don't know anymore and I don't know what the answers are.
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Forgot to add something; We need some advice from Taurus men on this message board.
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Well ladies, don't know what I can say in defense of Taurus men. I have never been one for inconsistency in a relationship except for now. Whoever has the friend going thru divorce and job troubles - are you sure its not me?
Back to the relationship thing. I have always tried to treat other people well - sometimes we do get wrapped up in other things that we literally forget or keep saying tomorrow I'll call, etc.. . Have any of you thought that perhaps the Taurus man is unsure of where he stands with you? Not because of his feelings but due to signals he may be receiving from you?
I know I like to be assured of where I'm going before 'taking a chance' simply because I dont want to destroy anything I've worked to this point to build. Either I'm extremely cautious or I value what I have far too much - maybe a combination of the two or something else entirely.
Just a thought, or two.
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The Taurus I was with lived with me...for a brief time...he started not coming home at night, I finally went to his place of employment and asked for his keys. He acted hurt and insulted! He said, "You are kicking me out?!" I said, "No.....you left!!"
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Hi Taurus Male -- and thanks for responding. Hmmmm...I'm not sure if it's you but would you mind telling me your first name -- and where you live -- and or what you do for a living? You've got me curious now. If your not comfortable with that, just your age will do.
I believe mine realizes how I feel about him. He knows I'm serious about a relationship -- and about him -- as I've told him I think he is special and that we would be good together.
But anyhow, if it is meant, it will work itself out.
Thanks for replying. All you Taurus men are very special.
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Ladies:
If you are looking for a man who has to tell you on a hourly basis that he loves you, then Taurus males may very well upset you....It was funny when I started reading this board that I realised we do end up upsetting people many a time without even trying. I think it may be because we do not always choose to share our thoughts unless specifically asked to.....I don't call people all the time because I don't wish to intrude, and if someone contacts me, then I know some "light is green".......Taurus don't like to be pests, and they most certainly don't like to be pestered......so please think of that whenever you get upset with the Taurus guy who does not seem to be living up to some expectation you may have of them.....If he truely loves you, you can be sure that he does even though he has not openly declaired it to you every sunrise like some barnyard rooster...and if you require that sort of thing, please tell him so, and he may even do it for you.....
Taurus guy who tries to please (believe it or not)
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Ladies:
If you are looking for a man who has to tell you on a hourly basis that he loves you, then Taurus males may very well upset you....It was funny when I started reading this board that I realised we do end up upsetting people many a time without even trying. I think it may be because we do not always choose to share our thoughts unless specifically asked to.....I don't call people all the time because I don't wish to intrude, and if someone contacts me, then I know some "light is green".......Taurus don't like to be pests, and they most certainly don't like to be pestered......so please think of that whenever you get upset with the Taurus guy who does not seem to be living up to some expectation you may have of them.....If he truely loves you, you can be sure that he does even though he has not openly declaired it to you every sunrise like some barnyard rooster...and if you require that sort of thing, please tell him so, and he may even do it for you.....
Taurus guy who tries to please (believe it or not)
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I understand what you mean, because
i'm a taurus female in a relationship
with another taurus for almost 4 years,
and are finally getting married this
year, i say finally because, yes he
took things really slow and steady,
but once a taurus man is 100% sure you
are the one, he is loyal, faithful
and steadfast, i tell myself, i'd rather
deal with someone who is honest than a
man who makes false promises and then
you worry about them cheating on you, a taurus man is can be stubborn and possessive,yes but they make plans that they keep and the security lasts a lifetime. when he first left,and didn't call me , i was hurt and ye, he came back and called as if noting happenened. he did not forget about you, a taurus man is affectionate motionally when he's around you, but somehow they are wired such that when they are physiacally
away, their head rule their heart, and
in order to function like a strong
male, they put all emotions aside but
it doesn't mean they are over you, he
won't lie when he says he misses you.
a taurus man needs a patient woman,
they are slow to gain momentem in a
relationship. hopes this helps you.
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Hi thanks for the info, but you have misunderstood a bit. Speaking for myself, I do not need to hear I love you on an hourly basis. And I don't remember reading any of the posts here stating they need to hear that.
If someone is going to disappear from my life, I would prefer to hear "I'm going through a lot right now, don't expect to hear from me for awhile". That's all -- honest communication; and it's doesn't take much effort. Because as the months go by and one dissapears, you cannot help to wonder -- or to take it personal.

But I will speak for myself; a little more effort of honest communication on a Taurus' male part would be nice. This may be the communication problem with some Taurus men. You men are wonderful and special but you need to work on this a bit. Also -- and I don't speak for all Taurus men but I'll give you an example of something else that worries me; misinterpreations; I once said to him "I am not scared of saying something to you". He immediately said "I'm not scary at all". He only heard what he wanted to -- and interpreted what he wanted to as well, instead of listenting to what I was really saying; and I realize he does this often when communicating.
That's all -- honest communication; and it's doesn't take much effort. Because as the months go by and one dissapears for a time, you cannot help to wonder --or to take it personal.
You men are all about wanting loyalty, honesty and stability but you have to give some to. That is all. If there is no honest communication about what one is going through -- or feeling, what kind of friendship/relationship will you acquire in life? If you confide in someone -- then we are special but you cannot close up afterwards and dissapear. That doesn't make sense.
So you see I do not like to wonder or second guess. I need to hear the real deal. And being that you Taurus men seem to be honest, I would think this is something you would like to hear from others as well. You cannot just pop in and out of one's life.
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I completely agree w/ taurus male, 152. I am a female taurus and am exactly the same way. Just becuz we take time to ourselves to get our thoughts straight doesn't mean we don't care. You can't change how we are, that's just how we are, just like you can't change how you are naturally. If you don't like it, then maybe you need to look for someone else of a different sign.
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I did not say I didn't agree with the Taurus male. And I have a very close Taurus female in my life so I am aware of her traits -- as well as my own for that matter. My whole point in posting was not only to express my feelings -- but to also let that Taurus male who posted that no one on here said they need to hear "I love you" every minute. You cannot assume anything.
I just get frustrated at times when there is little communication -- as I'm sure you get frustrated as well with things. Forget the signs for a minute -- we are all human and we get frustrated.....period.
Thanks but I also didn't say I want to find another sign. If I did, I would have indicated that.
I know that my Taurus male is my destiny and he knows it too. And I'm extremely patient with him and I never push or disturb him.
Thanks again.
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Sorry for the response,but it just seemed like you were somewhat attacking him for being a taurs male based on your experience with one. You said yourself to forget about the sign for a minute and that we are all people, but it sounded like to me that you were generalizing according to signs since you mentioned several times, "taurus men" are this way and that way. I'm interested to know, what's your sign?
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I am speaking of communication -- not attacking. I was trying to understand why sometimes -- I have heard -- that they don't communicate -- especially after reading the posts before me about their Taurus men. So yes I am curious. You should read the posts who began this topic.
I don't attack people. If I say Taurus men are this way and that -- it's because I'm reading this message board for the last four months or so -- and I'm just getting input.
I believe in destiny -- but I don't live my life by astrological signs. Reading this stuff has made me curious about my Taurus male friend.
But I'll say this, I want one special man who is honest, passionate, stable, sensual and loyal -- and likes to be home and not crave too much action -- no players. Because that is what I'm about. And I believe I found him. And yes, my Taurus man is extremely special. There are not many men I connect with.
I am Aries female.
Thanks.
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That was a good one Like a barnyard rooster. Well I'm not saying that. I just would like for him to express to me how he feels and get things out in the open instead of running like the roadrunner when we get close. he knows i care for him by the way of my actions but i refuse to give in any more inches when i don't get it back in return. with that sort of mystery way he has leads me to believe that he has someone else and is playing us both. cause if you like/love someone wouldn't u want to be around them more than just once or twice a month.
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Aries female speaking -- but 205 you have to speak to him about it. You cannot assume that is what's happening. Like I said, mine is going through difficult times and although I get frustrated at our communication problem as well, I plan on speaking to him about it -- when I feel the time is right again -- because I think he's worth it. And he does respect my direct and honest approach.
If you know it in your heart he is the one then you will work it out.
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Figures.
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What does that mean? Sorry but if you have a problem with Aries -- or any other sign you need to get a life. You sound like a very negative person who judges. And I was responding to 205 message. 205 is not me.
And why not go off on the people who began this "Why do taurus men leave"? I did not start this post so you need to learn how to read.
And just what sign are you? Are you the Taurus female? Well if you are thank god my very close Taurus female friend doesn't have your attitude. You need an attitude adjustment.
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Ladies:
Weakness is one thing that a Taurus male does not like to experience...in himself, and in others. When I find myself deeply troubled about things, the last thing I want to do is to put those troubles on my loved ones. And, if I find that a relationship seems to make me "weak", I tend to avoid it. I know that relationships have to be a give and take sort of deal in many people's view, but sometimes, true love is a give and give situation where you can give your love without expecting certain actions and things in return....and if you are lucky enough, your partner feels the same way. Showing you love for each other becomes a natural thing, not just a duty. It is those times of insecuity in ourselves and in others that seem to cause those "dramas". I don't want to sound like some kind of idealist, maybe I am, but one thing is for sure, if I proclaim my love for someone it is real, and if they choose not to accept it, so be it. And if love is lost, that is a great loss to us indeed..(and remember, we don't like to lose).
Taurus Male (the reluctant Rooster)
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Thank you all for your input. I think that I understand why my friend is straying away now. I appreciate all of your responses very much, and I am willing to give him all of the time that he wants... I'd really wish he'd just tell me that he wants it, and when he needs it, and then I'll be even more understanding- but what's already done is done. Please tell me what I say to get us to now heal our relationship? I do still love him very much.
Taurus men...I'll appreciate all of your comments.
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I am a Taurus male, we generally keep quiet, but once somewhat irritated we will speak what's on out mind. Reading over this message board, I see where the Taurus lady was coming from, Aries female. It did sort of seem like you were somewhat attacking him, and then you seemed to be attacking her. Is this maybe one of the qualities that keeps your Taurus man running? If you want an honest Taurus man's opinion, I think you are being played by this guy. When a Taurus man is in a strong commited relationship that he wants to be in, he is loyal and would never run in and out of your life. Sure he might want to be to himself for a few hours, or maybe even a day or two, but not for weeks or months. If we're not commited, or if we have any doubt in the relationship, then we're very good at playing. The reasons as to why he may be coming and leaving are A: He leaves and then gets lonley or starts to think that maybe it can work out with you so he comes back until he realizes that it won't work, or B: He feels sorry for you, or C: He just wants something. But the main thing is, you're frusterated by him running in and out of your life, but you're letting him do it. He couldn't do it if you didn't let him. If you want to find out if he really cares, you need to tell him how you feel about him doing this and let him know that he is risking losing you by secluding himself and if he really cares, he'll stop because a Taurus doesn't want to risk anything he TRUELY loves. If he keeps doing what he's doing or if you have already told him that he's risking losing you, then you need to move on! That's my opinion, accept it or don't, it's all on you.
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Hold up, you're writing paragraphs about your life on the internet and I'm the one that needs to get a life? I've gotten just as much attitude with you as you have with me. YOU are the one that got offensive becuz of what I had first wrote. I wasn't trying to be offensive, I was just being real. If you don't know the difference then you are the one with the problem. This is a message board where you post your opinion. Don't ask for an opinion if you can't take the heat and all possible responses. I ain't got nothing else to say to you.
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HOLD ON EVERYBODY!!!!! I'm the one who originally started this message board. Not a Taurus male, Not a Aries female. I see that my question just took off. I just returned to the board and saw 23 responses. I had to digest all of it in order to write back again. Why is everyone getting so offensive, there's no need. I'm not a needy nor a lonely person. It's just that I have a Taurus friend (NOTE: we are not committed at this point) that likes me and I like him to. but he's shy and aloof, eventhough we told each other of our feelings. When we get really close to express deep conversation regarding us. It never happens because we both back down (more from him than me) We can be on a roll, then out of the blue I receive no word from him. (day, week month, etc.) and this bothers me. Not really bothers me but I wonder why he does this. I just wanted someone out there (hopefully a Taurus Male) to give me some insight/theory on why this happens. That's all.
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HOLD ON EVERYBODY!!!!! I'm the one who originally started this message board. Not a Taurus male, Not a Aries female. I see that my question just took off. I just returned to the board and saw 23 responses. I had to digest all of it in order to write back again. Why is everyone getting so offensive, there's no need. I'm not a needy nor a lonely person. It's just that I have a Taurus friend (NOTE: we are not committed at this point) that likes me and I like him to. but he's shy and aloof, eventhough we told each other of our feelings. When we get really close to express deep conversation regarding us. It never happens because we both back down (more from him than me) We can be on a roll, then out of the blue I receive no word from him. (day, week month, etc.) and this bothers me. Not really bothers me but I wonder why he does this. I just wanted someone out there (hopefully a Taurus Male) to give me some insight/theory on why this happens. That's all.
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Thanks Taurus male but you'ved missed the whole point in all of this. We are NOT in a committed relationship. We're miles away and have only friendship at the moment. So it is different.
Thats all.
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She still didn't answer your question now did she. She conveniently left it out. She goes on to talk about your attitude when all you did was express yourself on this board, like EVERYONE else. But she never responded to you as to why she said "Figures" to you when you stated your sign. She is the one stating it figures so she obviously has a problem with your sign. And she doesn't have an attitude because of that??? And she talks about your attitude??? Yeah ok.
This board is a mess and for teenagers only.
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Can another Taurus girl speak here; After reading these messages I'm sorry this whole thing got out of hand but the Aries female did not get offensive with what you said Taurus female. I went back and read the posts.
You automatically assumed she did just because she gave her opinions of her Taurus friend. She was only giving HER opinion, like everyone else on this board, not attacking the Taurus male. After all, this is a message board isn't it? Sorry but I've learned my Taurus lessons with all my friends in school, as they told me I only hear what I want to at times. But i've learned not to assume anymore. Look what happens. ANd believe me, I have all friends with different signs, Aries is fire...they can take the heat of anything.
Just my opinion.
Taurus girl
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shut up1!!!
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I've had the same thing from a friend who is not a Taurus so maybe its just a guy thing. He likes you and wants you as a friend but he is also attracted to you. He doesn't want a relationship with you though (for whatever reasons) and has trouble with the conflicting feelings so runs away... he is drawn back by the friendship, feels the attraction, and the whole cycle is repeated. Just let it ride, either something will come out of it or you will both meet other people and stay friends.
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Man, I sure am glad that someone realizes that if it is a good love, distance will disolve, because togetherness is important for Taurus...especially in Love. It is hard for a Taurus to tell one who loves him or her that the friendship is there, but something is lacking in the love arena. And it is also difficult for Taurus to love another, and find that is only "just friends" from the object of his love. If this continues to be a six pack of canned worms...just do both of you a favor and find better love partners....Life is just too short.
It is humorous that this page has become a battlefield....a battlefield of love??? not hardly...so yall just cool it...
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Taurus Male:
I agree with you to some point, however, I cannot agree on the give and give. That is not appropriate. If one person is to give constantly in a relationship, or friendship for that matter, it can become strained. That person giving all the time will start to think they are being taken advantage of, and over time, you'll loose someone special because it becomes way too much effort on the other person giving, not to mention exhausting. You said it before, "A Taurus male may not know where he stands with you". Well the other person needs to know where they stand with you as well.
You cannot be the only one to know what the deal is. And you cannot be the only one in a relationship/friendship to receive all the attention. Now what are your thoughts on that? lol
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Yes, relationships are a two-way thing. If you have to manipulate and control the other person then there is something wrong with the picture and you will never move to that deeper level of mutual respect and understanding that we are all searching for. People are not put on this earth for us to use for our own gratification, we have to learn how to interact and communicate and we grow through the shared experience of this.
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Amen to that 203. Well said!
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If the guy is not giving "enough" then let him know what "enough" is, and if he does not practice what "enough" is in your view, then by all means get "enough" with someone else who realises what "enough" is.
Just my two cents worth, I guess...
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Thanks, good to get some positive feedback. These message boards often seem to turn into slagging matches.
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I must say "AMEN!" to this message board's comments. Both my sister and my ex-boyfriend are Tauruses and the BOTH leave the people they love then go back as if nothing had ever happened. My ex left me for another person, then came crawling back to me begging for forgiveness saying "he didn't know why he ever left". So we got back together then he left to go back to another one of his ex-girlfriend that he had left months earlier! My sister is also notorious for ditching someone than going right back to them months later. Why is this? Any comments from you Tauruses out there?
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Taurus Male here:
Kindof strange about the dumping and then going back. Some sort of emotional game playing or something. Don't think it is a standard thing with us. Whatever it is, it doesn't sound like true love working behind it...
Also, may I Please clarify this "give and give" thing I mentioned....I did not mean that you are to give and keep on giving, no no. What I was trying to convey is that if you are all giving to your partner and your partner is all giving to you....then you won't have to find yourself having to worry about receiving, because your partner will already be giving you what you need as you are to him/her. That is what I mean by a give - give relationship.
Let us face the fact that TRUE GIVING does not have a price tag on it. That is why it is truely rare in this world.
Taurus Male
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Well said Taurus Male -- about the giving. The only thing I can think of about some Taurus' leaving and coming back (when it involves an already established relationship) is that when they are experiencing difficulties in their lives, they need time alone to work things out and wish not to speak to anyone -- just kind of dissapear for awhile, but not intentionally. And I don't think they love the people in their lives any less because of it.
I have a very good Taurus female friend and one time she was experiencing job difficulties, I did not hear from her much. And right now, my Taurus male friend is having some personal difficulties and we haven't been in touch. I could be wrong but it's just a thought.
And in general, sometimes I will retreat if things are not going well for me, after all, I don't want to burden my friends -- or a new relationship perhaps -- with my problems until I work things out in my for myself.
Aries female
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Hey Aries Female,
Are you sure you're not a Taurus?! smile
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Yes, I'm sure I am Aries
smile
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I say this because you seem to have so many characteristics of a Taurus. You and Taurus Male are great conversationalist.
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Thank you. That was very kind of you.
smile
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I didn't read everything re: this topic but I will say - hey - has anyone ever thought that there is someone ELSE!!
Good lord - what is wrong with you people!? Taurus are quite the cheats - in a very subtle way.
Investigate it guys! and don't put too much of your energy into it all OK.
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Taurus Male here:
My God, another person that thinks we are so good at cheating....
Do me a favor....Honesty is a challenge for everyone, some just do it better than others. So if you happen to experience one who has cheated you, please do not assume, we all do. (in any sign, for that matter)
Yup, I gotta admit that there are some dishonest Taureans out there. So, whatevcr you buy into out there "buyer beware" (another "risk" of love, I suppose).
Taurus Male
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Scorpio female here.
I have to say that I haven't had much experience with Taurus men "leaving" and then "coming back". I am usually the one telling them to leave, and then they come back. lol. I would have to say that if he is the one leaving, I would question his sincerity. For your own sake. You are worth more than that kind of inconsistency. And you need to be gently blunt with him and tell him so. You have to decide not to silently allow him to keep you guessing like this and just make it crystal clear to him that you will not wither away waiting for a decisive move from him. Well, you might say it gentler than that, I have a problem with the bluntness being a scorp and all ; )
I am not saying that you're not making the most of your life without him during this confusing period--I'm sure you are although I don't know for sure. I just hate to think that you might be stuck waiting for so long that you miss the right man (if indeed this Taurus isn't) who comes along and passes by because you're STILL waiting and emotionally preoccupied with this guy. All the luck in the world to you and be strong!
Heather
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Thank you Heather. That was very sincere. You have it right. I do go out and do other things with male friends of mine, but I still find myself playing the "waiting game" eventhough I KNOW it's not healthy. I've posted different times regarding this situation with my Taurus friend. The last convo I had with him he stated that he wanted to get his self together in order to give me 100% of him because he's going through a lot of problems in his life. I know how Tauruses (including myself) will go in seclusion when things in our lives are not right so I understand where he's coming from. By all means I'm not a HERMIT sitting around and waiting, but I do know deep in my soul that he is meant for me?! (well I said that about my Cancer ex-boyfriend too, but things didn't work out smile we are still good friend til this day though).
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I completely understand where you're coming from, and I have all faith in you that you are continuing to experience and enjoy life while letting the Taurus get himself together. I hope he figures it out soon; you deserve with your loyalty and tenacity to have the same returned to you when he is ready. Especially if something deep down is telling you that he is the one. Again, luck to you!!
Love,
Heather
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Thanks Heather
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